Men...There is Life After Death

Paramore-paradox · 2023-04-22T22:03:17+00:00

Careful with the first post relationship after a divorce. Rose colored glasses my guy and all that. Someone that has “suffered” so much like you said, might have some underlying issues she has not dealt with fully. Enjoy yourself and her company, but please be careful with your heart.

Zealousideal-Bear-37 · 2023-04-22T22:28:09+00:00

This post screams red flag city my man . You’re still going through divorce , she is still going through divorce . You’re both so emotionally vulnerable and it’s so easy to latch on to another person to get that neurotransmitter rush to alleviate the pain . Tread lightly my friend . All the best .

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-04-23T00:05:14+00:00

You're divorced and you just met someone new and you're already in a "serious relationship" after talking for a month.

This has more red flags than a communist military parade.

Good luck though...just don't get married again.

pk2at · 2023-04-22T21:30:29+00:00

Don't get carried away and do something stupid like marrying her without a post dated legal separation

jmoincali · 2023-04-22T21:59:13+00:00

Bro...what did I just read 🤢🤮

I mean I'm happy you're happy but please...Don't EVER get married AGAIN!!

1antinomy · 2023-04-23T02:10:50+00:00

I hate to be that guy, but there aren’t too many “amazing” 42 year olds

Especially one that just magically falls into your lap right during your divorce

You need to take a step back & evaluate what you’re doing

Sbare26 · 2023-04-22T23:31:08+00:00

Careful, Careful. First person I dated during divorce said and did all the right things. Had me head over heels for her. It only took two weeks to let out her crazy. It’s hard out here tread lightly.

research002019 · 2023-04-23T03:18:44+00:00

I was head over heels, butterflies in the stomach, first time I felt "real love," etc with my first post divorce relationship (6 mo after separating with my ex wife).

I don't regret it, and it was a lot of fun, but looking back I can see the relationship for what it really was (or wasn't). We were both rebounding with each other after very recent, traumatic divorces.

Enjoy yourself and your new friend and I wish the best for you, just don't be blinded by the fact that a woman other than your ex wants to be with you.

polarshred · 2023-04-23T01:53:55+00:00

Sounds like your emotions are lying to you.

bnsrx · 2023-04-23T06:41:09+00:00

I'm not yet final on my divorce, and there's a very cool, interesting woman on my horizon, who's also about 2-3 years out from her own divorce.

But she's texting me all the time - invited me to spend a week with her in Italy (I said no), "will you miss me?", "all I think about is kissing you". It's been a dopamine rollercoaster and doing my head in a bit, but if I'm objective about it, I'm very guarded. Yes, I want good times in the future. Definitely want someone interesting vs all the clones. But man, it's too much, too soon, and it comes across as a red flag.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, try to take the 10,000 foot view for now.

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-04-22T22:44:31+00:00

Good luck

Whether a rebound or not

I know that some positive attention from a nice lady would help me shake out of this and move forward with purpose

upvotersfortruth · 2023-04-23T03:34:10+00:00

As my therapist said to me when I told him about how amazing my first girlfriend post divorce was: “She’s just normal. Glad you can experience that, finally.”

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-04-23T06:48:03+00:00

… I wish you Happiness !!! (It may not be This though) . It drips chemical high (“love”) and trauma bond .

Yes “they” really are out “there” , waiting for “you”.

Alatornio · 2023-04-23T05:22:27+00:00

You should reread your own post. Its pretty crazy.

-1 month "serious relationship" -She is going through a divorce -Suffering has made her into an amazing woman..... -woman of my dreams -keep searching

I bet her ex husband doesnt think she is amazing. She changed his life for the negative. You are literally the guy he is laughing at now so I would slow it down partner until you get your emotions stable.

This woman needs you for resources. You are option B. Tread lightly.

Maleficent-Mark3014 · 2023-04-23T06:54:32+00:00

Congratulations man, but I say be careful and slow down. “Chatting for over a month” does not equate to “serious relationship”.

Don’t let yourself move too fast. It’s important to give yourself time.

I wish you all the best, but remember you’re going through a period where emotions are running high.

LonelyNC123 · 2023-04-23T11:40:49+00:00

As a man on his 2nd marriage let me share this advice with you, don't 'fall in love' too fast again. I got married too fast, I kinda wish I had never remarried.

She is also getting divorced. Both of you might be 'trauma bonding' - - you feel a closeness because you went thru a really difficult, stressful time together.

Please 'date' all you want but don't convince yourself she is the love of your life and get married.

Please go very, very, very slow. Otherwise you might be me - miserable and thinking about divorce a 2nd time.

brandon_cabral · 2023-04-23T05:23:47+00:00

She’s older than you bro. 🚩 number 1. You’re 40 you should be shooting for late 20’s early 30s man. I highly doubt when you’re 46 you’re going to want to be with a 48 year old, menopausal woman.

justaguywadog · 2023-04-23T03:36:33+00:00

Hugs bro

deuceice · 2023-04-23T09:18:08+00:00

Don't do it... Reconsider...

J_squared12 · 2023-04-23T12:53:42+00:00

Don’t bring this batshit crazy shit to a divorced men forum…

Title	Men...There is Life After Death
Author	PatThePiper
Upvotes	16
Comments	36
Date	April 22, 2023 9:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12vjvxa/menthere_is_life_after_death/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/menthere-is-life-after-death.1215464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215464

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