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Significant-Bother-1 Archive

View 5 posts and 59 comments by Significant-Bother-1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

My wife re-wrote 3 years of marriage (post baby) to justify her affair and abandonment. So I'm surprised by none of this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 12:54 AM
2

It honestly makes me sad for her. Guy is a real psychopath.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 10:56 PM
2

My STBXW picked a real gem in her AP. multiple threats last year, TRO against him last year. Continued to see him on and off. Followed her on a trip recently and she called me bawling on the phone and hyperventilating about it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 04:50 PM
1

I've almost bought my STBXW things on several occasions. Every time, I think about it for a second and put it back. I would find it very strange if she bought me stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 11:18 AM
2

That's exactly how it worked for mine. High emotional impact after discovery of the affair. Attempted recovery of the marriage. When recovery failed and she wanted to move out there was very little residual emotional attachment. I could start dating the day after my divorce decree (I won't, but emotionally I could)
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 08:10 AM
9

I'm in the same boat as you man, it hurts sometimes but I just power through it honestly. She's not "yours" anymore. My wife is taking a completely different direction in life now and I don't have any control over it. Does it hurt? Yeah. But I have to focus on being the best for me and my son. Don't let what happened to you define you as a man. You're better than that, you've got it in you to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 02:40 PM
1

My STBXW was and is not a social person for the most part. I fell into that during our time together and now I'm realizing how unlike me that was. Now I realized we could have had great friends in our neighbors and it's way too late for that now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 05:51 PM
2

I wish I had done it earlier. My kid is 4 now, last year would have been much less of an impact on him.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 12:21 PM
1

I've got about 30k in debt that's accumulated over the years when my wife wasn't working, and after she started working and wasn't helping pay any bills. She doesn't want to pay for any of it as part of the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 11:18 AM
2

As someone who might be in this situation with my VA loan my guess is this: if she can afford to buy you out but can't afford the re-fi my guess is that the house would be sold. Can you afford to buy her out?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 12:21 PM
8

She has a higher take-home than me too
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 07:54 PM
6

I learned a lot about what a bad relationship looks like, even if I was the one fighting to save it. I'm going to be better after this. This process will not break me, she will not break me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 05:41 PM
12

The funny part is their relationship ended in a restraining order hearing. And she was crying to me a few weeks ago about how he was treating her like shit.... After she moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 07:23 PM
29

When I caught my wife texting her affair partner again after she told me it was over.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 03:15 PM
10

For me if there is physical attraction but no other connection I would drop the relationship. I'm not looking for that in my life right now personally.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/22 03:15 PM
9

I've got to keep telling myself that throwing myself at someone else is the wrong answer. I miss having that person in my life I can share my life with, and I miss having someone to come home to. You've got to keep laser-focused on yourself for now. So that when you're actually ready for someone else to come into your life, you are in the right head space. Go to the gym, do your thing, keep your head down and emerge from this period of growth as the baddest motherfucker you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 12:04 PM
3

My wife and I are separated. I'm planning to give her a gift from our son for Mother's day but not anything from me. I just don't think she would be receptive of presents from me regardless of occasion.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 11:53 AM
3

My wife moved into an apartment as soon as she could. I think she'll actually buy me out of the house but either way highly doubt I'll be able to purchase something new for a long while.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 11:47 AM
3

Yeah I don't know about your situation but that statemtent from my wife only came after an affair by her and a serious attempt by me to be better. It's just an excuse
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 11:31 AM
2

Yeah, mine just decided to stop taking her medication and almost immediately thereafter began an affair 😒
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 06:32 PM
6

The real shitty is part is I probably like her mom more than she does. She's just got so much baggage from her childhood she won't get help with.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 03:55 PM
5

Yeah my wife told me she wanted a separation and then proceeded to tell me how she's been "angry for 3 years" and needs her space blah blah blah.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 03:53 PM
12

Her relationship with her mother/parents should be a huge flag. My wife had a terrible relationship with her dad and estranged him early on in our relationship. I didn't think much of that because I knew the history. What I should have noticed is that she had a TERRIBLE relationship with her mother too. A lot of resentment and disdain. Well almost 7 years of marriage now and she's just the most dismissive person I've known. If she's willing to keep her family at arms length, she's definitely goi…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 01:00 PM
1

It's certainly a possibility and I've done what I can to protect myself. I will start looking out for any issues with my kid and document those. I'm going to get everything in writing for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 11:17 AM
2

I have that part on lock down. I don't yell, I don't argue, I play it cool. I also have asked to do nothing extra or even handle any joint bills, I'm doing all that. I don't know what she's trying to do, but at the end of the day yesterday I knew fully that walking away was my solution.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 09:42 AM
1

This is going to go against most conventional wisdom, but I highly doubt I will be losing custody. I have cameras up in and outside the home that are 24/7 recording. I'll probably be keeping the dogs, she has expressed no interest in them at all. If she wants them she can have them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 09:39 AM
1

Thanks man, I really appreciate the support.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 11:38 PM
2

Its fairly similar here, except in some states they don't even need to claim that you hurt anyone. They can just claim you are a vague "threat" and the state can seize your weapons. I am lucky not to live in one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 08:49 PM
3

Well I was hoping (not anymore) that we could actually try working through the issues and stay together for each other, our son benefiting from that. Oh I've got a lot of evidence of her issues. Really want fully custody so I can move away from here and be closer to my family. She doesn't have much going for her by herself, honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 05:44 PM
3

She has a couple that belong to her but she hasn't been interested in anything related to guns for years. Good to know info though.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 05:27 PM
6

You're right. I've been holding back but I guess the time for decisive action has come. I didn't even know I could file for exclusive use.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 05:03 PM
6

I just didn't want our son to suffer through a divorce. But it's time to face the truth, that's she's going to do what she wants to do and that's it. I've already made improvements to my life since she left, it's time to move on from her and really start healing I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 05:01 PM
2

I don't know honestly. Being paranoid about cursing
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 04:48 PM
6

Feels like a Rollercoaster. Anger in the beginning shifting to happiness at being in control of my life shifting to wanting our family back together. Now I just want to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 04:24 PM
4

Holy shit can they take your guns?! That worries me greatly.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 03:51 PM
14

Well I did. After this I realize she doesn't give a single fuck about me or the wreckage she's left behind. I'm done.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 03:47 PM
-1

I think of it in my nightstand drawer at least once a day. Hope I can put it back on someday but doubtful that's happening.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 01:15 AM
2

I try my hardest to talk about her positively and encourage him to talk to her when she calls us. I want him to have a great relationship with her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 06:40 PM
5

At this point you need to let her make the decision to come back or not. Focus your energy on yourself and your kids. I spent almost a year fighting to keep my wife in the marriage and her response at the end of the day was to move out. I'm going to be the best version of me I can, if she wants back in (with some serious changes), I'll welcome her because I still love her. If she doesn't I'm ok with that because I know that I gave my all to keep things together. You can be ok without her, I know…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 06:27 PM
6

Is this common with affairs?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 11:53 AM
1

She was mostly an absentee parent for the last 18 months roughly, so the transition has been really hard on our son. I was the only one putting him to bed, taking/picking him up from school, cooking, taking him places, etc. So now he has to be away from me for a few days a week and he really isn't happy. It tears me apart
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 10:23 PM
1

The fact is I still love her despite all the pain she has caused. She is the mother of my child. Our family is better off together. Do I think she will change? No. Do I expect to divorce her? Yes. Do I expect her to try and lie, cheat, and steal to try and keep this situation as it is? Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 10:20 PM
1

The fact is I still love her despite all the pain she has caused. She is the mother of my child. Our family is better off together. Do I think she will change? No. Do I expect to divorce her? Yes. Do I expect her to try and lie, cheat, and steal to try and keep this situation as it is? Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 10:17 PM
1

Definitely on that path. Giving her all the space and time she wants, it only helps me later.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 10:05 AM
0

Yeah, it hurts when he goes over to her place. And he cries and asks to come back or for me to come see him. I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 02:13 AM
0

Oh things aren't going back unless she takes some seriously drastic steps. I'm on my best behavior always as I'm not even mad at her. Burned through all those emotions last year during her affair. So now I'm pretty at peace with everything.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:11 AM
2

Already prepared for the different reactions she'll have. She probably thinks I'm just trying to save everything while she sees her bf on the side like I did last year. I will be filing just as soon as a couple loose threads are tied off.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 12:18 AM
0

Nothing official has been signed yet. Once we have something on paper I will be 100% holding her to it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 11:18 PM
7

I really want to try and mediate with her first. I genuinely just want out at this point, she can do whatever she wants. Her problems if we divorce are magnitudes worse than mine are.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 11:17 PM
1

This sounds like a textbook case to establish a POA with someone you trust to be able to handle these issues while you are overseas.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 05:37 PM
9

Dude I can understand falling into bad habits to cover the pain of the loss you're feeling right now. But you need to do yourself a big favor and put the energy you're throwing into a bottomless pit to better use. Start working on yourself and I guarantee you it will help better than drinking or casual sex. I started lifting weights and I'm getting back into camping which I loved before. It's only been a couple weeks since she moved out and I'm learning to love who I was before I met her again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 12:50 AM
3

I really want full custody so I can leave the area but I'm not holding my breath about it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 12:43 AM
4

On it my man. Working out on the regular, Eating what I want for the first time in a long time (wife is vegan 😒), going back to hobbies I miss like hiking and camping. I'll take the good with the bad for now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 12:42 AM
4

Your advice hurts me but I agree I should stop drinking it. I'll go back to reign I guess 😕
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 12:40 AM
5

I have a counselor who has been helping me work through this. Ironically I started seeing him to help me before this all started. I do t have terrible habits to fall back into but I do drink more green Monster now. Probably not the healthiest coping mechanism. Lifting weights is what helps the most.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 11:11 PM
3

No, about 20 minutes. I just want my kid to be happy. And not around her bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 11:09 PM
2

My wife had an affair last year that lasted for a few months. I tried to save the marriage, worked on myself and tried to fix our relationship. But I think she didn't want to fix things and moved out last week. After having tried so hard I decided to not put this stress on myself any more and to let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 05:03 PM
3

Had an initial consult with an attorney on Monday. Not going to rush things at this point, I'm going to see how the co-parenting goes as I have been the primary caretaker for our 3-year old son. Only thing I want out of this is custody so I can move somewhere I have family.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 02:21 AM
9

My wife cheated on me last year and then decided to move out last week. I honestly haven't felt better than this in a long time. Not caring about her has been the best for my mental health. I know things will get worse when I drop the news on her but I'm ok with that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 01:19 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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