Takers

warrior_up · 2022-03-27T22:19:13+00:00

My thought, smile and say sure. Let her go try and find mr replacement at the gym, you chill out with your boy and do boy stuff. Document every time you have him, tell her you’ll take him Gladly whenever she wants to go out and act like a desperate single mom with all the young kids. Document it and nail her on 50/50 - more importantly sit back and watch the shit show and Emmy award winning actor play the victim who’s “finding herself” and “and creating a new better version of me”

She can’t avoid the wall. She won’t be able to replace you as the father of her kid - she’ll simply settle and pretend like she didn’t just make the worst mistake of her life. Selfish doesn’t cover what she did to her own kid as it’s all about her right now

You need to file man, custody and visitation schedule takes affect immediately. She doesn’t follow it or tries disrupting you visitation you document it and let the judge remind her that her gym time doesn’t trump court ordered visitation. This way you can remind her what the future of government ordered visitation means - the future she isn’t able to see just yet. Get the courts involved - stick to the schedule- remind her that it’s in her best interest to schedule gym time around it

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-03-27T21:16:06+00:00

Yes, exactly. They always want it all. Do not expect equity or fairness from her. If she offers it and follows through then great. But, trust her actions and not her words. I'd tell her that since she has your son on Monday then swim class duty is on her unless you have nothing else to do. The more time you have with your son the better.

But, by doing so you are setting a bad precedent where she can pick and choose what she wants and knows that you'll do it. My ex would CHARGE ME BABYSITTING FEES TO WATCH HER OWN KIDS if I had something I needed to do on my time. But, I'd always watch them on her time for free.

Lots of women are greedy by nature. Just my experience. Not all. I've been with some great women, too. But, my ex wife was a greedy bitch. Still is.

TonLoc1281 · 2022-03-28T01:55:57+00:00

If my wife up and left me with our 2 dogs and 3 cats and the majority of time with my kid, then my lawyer got me everything I wanted in my wildest dreams.

ForsakenGround2994 · 2022-03-28T01:04:52+00:00

Yeah man we all want to work it out but as soon as it’s clear things aren’t going back make sure you file and have a court order. Doings things without the court only leads to problems. Be on your best behavior or don’t text or raise your voice. Always and I mean always be cool in private and public.

JohnnyMnemo · 2022-03-28T01:41:53+00:00

They basically expect to continue their life and just rid themselves of their sleeping partner.

They are like children, really. They don't expect to have to grow up even after the transition.

CRobinsFly · 2022-03-28T03:11:20+00:00

They do love to take as much as they possibly can. My ex frequently will ask me for help with the car, trash, house projects, IT stuff? wut? "Why would I help you with those things? Find another man who will, since you were so confident that you could."

Wall comes for all. We were likely the best the ex could ever do.

James1933-75 · 2022-03-27T23:16:25+00:00

This is a court ordered custody agreement? If not, why allow it?

liftreadhikefish · 2022-03-28T01:32:31+00:00

The dominant parental influence comes from the one who shows up. Take all the time with your kid that you can, they will remember.

Chip512 · 2022-03-28T02:58:15+00:00

Get an attorney, a great one - a great one can help keep you from getting scalped too badly, a bad one will get you scalped and skinned. Get the best deal you can in your state. Don’t agree to anything - do everything through your attorney. In my case the ex started with a scalp and skinned agreement and after mediation and attorney work it was just a scalping.

pegleg_legal · 2022-03-28T04:35:13+00:00

Take all the time you can with your kid. Establish a pattern. Do not try to force responsibility on her that she does not want.

Smart-Audience4081 · 2022-03-28T15:15:16+00:00

I have the same situation but with my husband, STBEH. I review this forum to see how men feel during the process. When our divorce is finished, I expect this same inconsideration or his mother moving in/coming over to help him when he gets his kid time. He has it so easy right now... Wake up, pack a lunch, go to work, come home, eat dinner, sleep, repeat. I work a full-time job, I'm a full-time MBA student, mother, homeroom mom, team mom, house keeper, chef, family shopper, bill payer, tax agent, laundry service, appointment maker, dishwasher, and so much more. To be fair, he does the dishes 2-3 times a month and gives kids bath maybe twice a month....I guess I got spoiled....insert eye roll here. Sorry, I'm on a rant. Anyways, don't let her take advantage. She should be coveting her time with her kids.

viper100800again · 2022-03-28T05:31:28+00:00

I keep reading about the "wall." Can someone explain this in detail to a newbie?

Title	Takers
Author	Significant-Bother-1
Upvotes	16
Comments	37
Date	March 27, 2022 9:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tpt9tz/takers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/takers.1109948 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109948

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