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Ssla1 Archive

View 8 posts and 63 comments by Ssla1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

I’m 48 and my gf is 28 and we’ve been dating for two years. We are definitely at two different stages of our lives. But still having fun and trying to figure it all out. My therapist says enjoy it while it lasts
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 04:58 AM
2

This. Also after I was at the point it sounds like you’re at. I gave it another year of really trying to work on the relationship and myself before contacting a lawyer. We have a 4 year old together. Divorce was final about six months ago still healing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 05:47 AM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 01:17 AM
3

I don’t have any family that can help. I have friends but none that can help. I may have to hire someone
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 01:14 AM
2

Sucks man sorry to hear that. Money can’t buy everything
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 04:10 AM
1

Bro of course they did! Cmon
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 03:33 AM
1

Sounds like he might’ve had a challenging time expressing his feelings. Consider it a blessing in disguise
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 03:32 AM
3

Can you please clarify why you feel that way? I don’t disagree but didn’t follow that path unfortunately. I mean I don’t regret it because it seems to have to changed my relationship with my daughter for the best. But I can only imagine that it’s not easy on her. At least she doesn’t have to experience her parents arguing everyday. But we aren’t smooching either
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 06:41 AM
1

The California Bar has a list of lawyers that are certified family law specialists. Consider those for sure and make sure the one you work with has a relationship with a forensic accountant.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:02 AM
2

Not sure about protection, this is kind of lame but if you need to switch up your vehicle for another one do it before filing for divorce
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 02:12 AM
4

I considered that too but my attorney said he would fire me if I actually agreed to that
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 04:33 AM
4

My divorce was finalized last month, and my daughter is 4 and a half. Her mom is in the process of moving out now, as she’s court-ordered to do. We were together for 7 years and married for 4. I initiated the divorce. Don’t give up on 50/50 custody. I was granted 50/50 custody, and it will start as soon as she moves out. One thing I noticed before I filed for divorce was that my daughter had started treating me the same way her mom did—which wasn’t very nice at all. I believe kids just copy thei…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 06:05 AM
0

Try to help her lose weight because she’ll likely do it after you get divorced. Wish I would’ve done that. Try tirzepatide.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 05:52 PM
1

Go to the state bar website and find a family law specialist
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 04:27 AM
8

Getting a lawyer that specializes in family law and has relationships with forensic accountants. It will be expensive but could save you a lot of money. You might need a lawyer that can refer you to a forensic accountant
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 05:33 AM
4

Thank you brother, the main thing lost was time
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 09:41 PM
6

50% custody, forensic accounting that prevented me from losing more than I would’ve if I didnt do that, solid trial defense if it went there
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 05:21 AM
5

Thank you brother I appreciate it!!! 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 02:44 AM
6

You can likely make her life very difficult by requesting spousal support immediately and also delay employment…. filing is entirely up to you and takes a tremendous amount of balls. But it might be worth it for peace of mind and for your relationship with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 02:37 AM
0

I’m 47 and dating 27 y.o. I might look a bit younger than most my age
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 03:15 AM
3

Alanon or another men’s twelve step meeting, also consider therapy
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 05:16 AM
2

File for legal separation now to stop the clock from ticking and work on the marriage if you want to. Now you have her attention. Your situation sounds similar to mine. But I tried to work on it for 3 years she didn’t initiate anything to work on it, zero intimacy, those extra years will be costly to me. Divorce is dragging on well over a year now
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:05 AM
8

It sounds like she doesn’t have a lawyer yet. In my experience, once my ex got a lawyer, everything changed. It quickly turned from something we could work out into a full-on lawsuit. I had to hire both a forensic accountant and a family law specialist who work together. We were married for four years, and the divorce has now dragged on for nine months. I’ve spent $30k in legal fees so far, and we’re headed to trial this summer. If she’s being amicable, try to finalize everything as quickly as p…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:25 AM
2

Consider men’s alanon group, it helped me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:00 AM
2

12 step programs and therapy
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:48 AM
6

I worked on myself which was worth it for about a year and half before deciding to end it. But that additional time will come at a price of additional alimony
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 12:47 AM
1

Make sure attorney is a certified family law specialist (subsection of CA bar)
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 12:22 AM
1

Thank you for this. I ended up with 43% custody, even though I haven’t signed the agreement yet. There are no issues of abuse or neglect for either of us. However, I really only have her for half of that when my ex is working, so I’m still catering to her work schedule even after our divorce. But I’m supposed to overlook that, they say, since it’s in the best interest of the child
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 01:00 AM
1

Thank you! I haven’t signed it yet, but it worked out so that I got 43%, which is okay. However, I really only have her for half of that when my ex is working, so I’m still catering to her work schedule even after our divorce. But I’m supposed to overlook that, they say, since it’s in the best interest of the child
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 12:57 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 03:40 PM
1

You’ll likely need to hire forensic accountant and valuators make sure you have an attorney that has some that they work with and can recommend
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 08:19 AM
2

I live in CA and everything was my fault, I was the worst dad, nothing was ever enough I brought us to multiple therapists and even a 12 step program. She didn’t want to put in any work or look at herself at all just point the finger. As the months went on every month that went by was a financial liability to me. So I filed for divorce before we hit four years of marriage. We are now 5 months into a very expensive process and we finally have a court date in 2 months. We had sex less than 10 time…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 08:07 AM
1

I hired a new and better attorney today 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 03:25 AM
5

I appreciate everyone’s response it really helped me and also gave me hope for today and different solutions to think about ✌️
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 12:22 AM
1

We tried two therapists and recovering couples anonymous all of which I initiated and then she didn’t want to do it anymore and that’s when I knew it was time to go in a different direction especially due to my continually increasing financial exposure
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 12:21 AM
1

Thank you brother
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:57 AM
1

Thank you!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 03:34 AM
3

I honestly have no idea how to answer that. I think what you are saying is that if I stay and it’s already broken it will be 10x worse in five years if nothing changes, correct?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 03:33 AM
2

I appreciate that. I’m still in the house and pretty nervous about leaving, but I think I’ll need to do it soon. The kid sleeps with her mom, which might make it really tough on her, but I think I just need to step up and do it. Rent for a 2-bedroom where I live is extremely expensive, which means I’ll have to pay for two homes until the divorce is final who knows how long that could take.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 11:57 PM
2

That’s a really good idea. The property is jointly owned with her unfortunately and we are in…California of all tenant friendly places
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 11:53 PM
2

I really like this idea but I feel like that the chances of something going sideways are really high
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 08:52 PM
3

Yes I’m trying to get 50/50 custody
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 08:50 PM
3

In my experience, it’s not going to change, and I thought I could live with the less than desirable sex and physical attraction. Now, we both have lawyers after four years of marriage and a child. I’m not saying the two are related, but I really wish my circumstances were different. I have so much to lose for only having been intimate 10 times in the last four years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 01:52 AM
1

See Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 03:57 AM
2

She threatened and I filed. Can’t wait until is over I’m in California and it’s taking forever.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 03:55 AM
2

Work on yourself and also read Rolo Tomasi
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 04:53 AM
1

If you didn’t get an appraisal initially how did you determine your initial calculations?
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 03:18 AM
1

I had a conversation about this issue with a friend of mine and they volunteered themselves you might want to try the same thing
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 05:03 AM
1

I would definitely consult legal counsel. Pay for an hour of their time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:51 AM
6

Book a trip to another country where they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:40 AM
1

Ugh my date of separation is after two years of marriage and I know she could get really paid if she wants to. I’m already thinking about how difficult it will be to get rid of the resentment towards her and everything related to her
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 07:02 AM
6

How do you do that?
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 09:22 PM
1

Check out an Alanon meeting; go to a men’s meeting and you might hear your exact story
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 07:31 AM
6

Consider consulting with a lawyer BEFORE getting married
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:49 PM
1

Thank you. The lawyer I have now practices all kinds of law.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 06:37 AM
1

I’ll be very interested to find out for myself if the grass is greener on the other side
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:33 AM
1

Oh my I could not even imagine.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:27 AM
4

Use this time to get your financial house in order. She already told you what’s coming. Now get all your ducks in a row financially
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 07:56 AM
1

I suppose that is a possibility but she said she want to pay for it 🤷
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 10:47 PM
1

She is cooperative with everything financial, so far….except she’s wants full custody of our child. Without any real merit to justify her position. Im concerned that this alone will make it expensive and time consuming and train her eyes on financial revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 09:28 PM
1

This is true, things will work out at their own pace and I now I just need to let go and let God
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:38 PM
3

Yeah im thinking that a paralegal would have been sufficient to get the initial filing completed
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:19 PM
1

What do you mean by that?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 02:56 PM
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