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The_Gilded_orchid Archive

View 8 posts and 172 comments by The_Gilded_orchid on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I had an ex just like that! So awful. I'm looking down the barrel of 40, and I wish I had the knowledge and confidence I have now, all those years ago.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/26 06:36 PM
4

I've just started working and my health is improving. I tried bringing it up, which was when he said he doesn't like the idea of marriage now, but will do it if it makes me happy. Which is awful. I want to be with a man who wants to commit to me. He did commit to me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 09:59 AM
2

My fiance and I are,and will remain childfree. We have both experienced significant trauma in our lives and have some health challenges we face. It's tough but I know that while I would be a great mother,I would not be a happy mother. So I put that energy into my nieces and nephews, as well as personal projects to keep me fulfilled.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 06:56 PM
2

Join clubs and groups for things you enjoy. I found meeting people who shared my same interests increased the chance of their being that spark at the beginning.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 12:20 PM
2

I used to feel like this. I decided to go into a department store, find a nice looking salesperson, and ask them to help me find a lipstick that makes me feel great. We ended up going for the classic Revlon Rum Raisin. I still wear it on days I need a boost. I also have a few more natural tones for regular days. This one piece of makeup can transform my day. After a few weeks, I found I was more confident in trying different ways of wearing my hair. Instead of feeling ugly in all of them, I star…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/25 08:22 AM
1

I was an AB too. Once I started following RPW guidelines my relationship did a 180. I learned that submission was not helplessness, and that it empowered my fiance to be able to care for me.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/25 12:31 AM
1

I think you're way off the mark here. I've not constantly pressured him, nor have I a desire to be in contact with other men. I'm not trying to manipulate anyone. Your comment comes from a non-constructive place and is not valid here.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/25 08:59 AM
1

I took four years off work to study a bachelor's degree, this absolutely won't be forever. :) He put up with four years of my assignment and exam stress. He braved the beast of late night study to bring me snacks or ask if I've eaten. He's definitely not completely abandoned me. I wonder if this is just a decompression phase now that I've graduated.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/25 05:40 AM
2

We also both came from abusive upbringings so we are both still learning what a healthy relationship looks like. He's doing so well with hitting his goals.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 11:01 PM
1

He runs his own business after he works his full time job. I go in to check on him often and make sure he has enough snacks etc, and he's usually working.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 07:33 PM
4

Schedule date nights. Take turns planning them. Little by little, you'll get a spark back. Carving out time to experience new things together can really help to build out of the rut.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 06:43 AM
–

Mine is going through something similar. He's at the top of his field, and is absolutely depressed by his current work place. But changing roles right now is a little scary as I'm out of work, and he can be let go within the first three months of a job with no reason or warning. I'm supporting him by keeping his food healthy, making sure he has a solid night's rest (when my insomnia kicks in I retreat to the lounge to read so I'm not keeping him up), and I focus on telling how much I appreciate …
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 03:30 AM
1

No he's working in his home office each evening, or gaming in there. I don't actually see him during the evening's. The space is too small for me to sit in there and do a parallel activity like reading too. It's more complicated than just his body being in the house. Others have helped me to understand his stress responses and how I can help support him, which was the answer I didn't know I needed.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 03:25 AM
1

We live together and he's always in the house. He definitely doesn't have another family.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/25 08:37 PM
4

There's info in the sidebar :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/25 01:18 AM
5

Thanks for this term!
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/25 01:17 AM
11

I have found the missing piece in my life. The guidance from other women (and men) in this group has improved not only my relationship but my life in general. I prioritise my value, where I previously downgraded it. I let my fiance lead, when previously my anxiety would take over and snuff out his masculinity in our relationship. He's not a huge RP man, but the underlying traits are there. Not the toxicity, but the successful traits that make him a quality man.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/25 01:17 AM
3

Update: I talked about this with him, he acknowledged we can improve our relationship by spending more time together again. Out of the blue he wanted to spend time together last night and it was really lovely. I think things are going to be alright.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/25 11:45 PM
2

It's explained in the comments here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/25 09:51 PM
3

This is great advice, thank you so much!
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 09:46 PM
3

I mean just spending time together. He works full time and runs a small business. His downtime is filled with gaming and business stuff right now. I suspect it's just him distancing himself due to stress.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 01:54 PM
1

Oh I do take my parrot to the farmers market every Sunday. I often see friends there and so many strangers come up to chat about the parrot, so it's great for a little social boost.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 12:23 PM
1

With me out of work he's the financially stable one right now with the bills. Here in my country we have a 90 day trial system for new jobs where the employer can let go a new employee for any reason at all. It makes job changing quite precarious. Exploitation is rife with this system, our previous government removed it, but the current government is very pro-business and brought it back in.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 12:22 PM
1

He won't find a new job until I'm in stable work so I don't stress. I'm trying so hard to find work again, but it's a tough job market right now. It's mostly job stress that I know will be alleviated eventually. I've started gaming, which is actually his hobby. But I'm chatting with friends online in the evening while gaming with them and it's nice.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 12:11 PM
2

When we do spend time together it's great. I'm feeling a bit lonely lately, but I'm trying to communicate to him that I'd love to spend more time together. Trying to come from a place of love rather than a place where something is not enough. I do think his own challenges with work have stressed him out, this is not something that has always been in our relationship (7 years). I might try finding events and mentioning to him how I'd love for us to go.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 11:58 AM
1

Buy a toy to use on him in the bedroom. Something like a vibrating sleeve or penis pump. Explain how you want to offer him more sensation and a different experience in the bedroom. If he is uncomfortable with that, you have to respect it, but if he enjoys it, that may help you to communicate how it is not another partner in the bed, it is just adding to the flavour of the connection.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 08:27 AM
2

This is fantastic, and very true. What a healthy perspective to read.
/r/TheRedPill02/08/25 08:15 AM
2

"The man who commits from a place of scarcity, Will always be trying to earn back a love that was never full to begin with" ..... these are valuable words.
/r/TheRedPill02/08/25 08:11 AM
2

I wasn't alone, my fiance was in the house.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/25 06:53 AM
1

I've never given him any reason to be worried. I genuinely think it's trauma from his previous relationship. She was very unstable.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/25 08:47 PM
1

It didn't make it worse. He was happier to see that he was part of my friend circle even back then. :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/25 08:46 PM
1

I'm going to ask him to think about how he would feel if it were a woman staying over. I've also found very old photos of the friend and I that I will show him.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 11:30 PM
2

It makes me uncomfortable, but I think it can be worked through. He's allowed boundaries in our home. It's a very small one bedroom one office unit, he likes his privacy and has health conditions. I can understand why he would prefer to not have people stay. So I can respect that, but I will be seeing this friend more as I've not been able to see him for years. He's moved just to the outskirts of the city I'm in. So I won't let whatever this is fester and control me seeing my friends. If he spea…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 11:00 PM
2

I had that sort of anxiety for a while. Look up some grounding techniques. Practise then when you're stable, then try to utilise them when that panic comes in.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 10:47 PM
1

He was fine with me seeing male friends for a long time after our earlier issues. I genuinely thought we had worked through that. Something brought it back.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 10:44 PM
3

I started being more open about who I was hanging out with each time, that way he knew exactly who would be there. I'd tell him in advance if I was going out with friends too. I stopped hanging out with male friends alone, as I knew that was a red flag for him. He has no issues with me seeing female friends, just male ones. Perhaps he sees them as a threat?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 10:42 PM
2

Thats what I thought. I'll be as patient as he needs me to be.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 09:44 PM
2

He did put effort into improving when it last happened. He was doing really well. I feel like something else has fed into this to flare it up again. If he never changes, I will have firmer boundaries and then see if that is liveable.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 09:23 PM
3

He gets like that over lots of things though, like if I ask if he wants to spend time with me, or what he wants for dinner. It's not an abnormal reaction for him.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:56 PM
7

I've never cheated and never been interested in other guys. I've been devoted from day one. I think this is trauma from a previous relationship
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:55 PM
6

I made changes to show him that he was the priority in my life. I communicated more clearly, offered for him to come along to outings etc. It eased up, so I thought he worked through it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:27 PM
2

He was clear about it. So I'm not sure why he didn't feel comfortable enough voicing his feelings when I first brought it up.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:26 PM
2

I've been trying to create that environment for years, but I don't know what I'm lacking.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:25 PM
1

Start small. It sounds like you've been going through the trenches. Do a nice hair mask and paint your nails.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/25 01:10 AM
2

My fiance went through this. It was fuelled by job stress and low testosterone. Has he had a health check-up lately?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/25 01:05 AM
2

My fiance's favourite dress of mine is this old, shapeless, yellow thing. I wear it because it's comfortable. When I asked why he loves it, he said it's because I smile the most when I'm wearing it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 09:17 PM
5

His actions and words are manipulative. Walk away from this honey.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 09:29 AM
4

I have fibro too. It does sound like it could be an option. Another is potentially a connective tissue disorder. They have similar pains.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 09:28 AM
2

My fiance has a chronic illness. It gets pretty bad sometimes. I have a list of comfortable things I can do to improve his day when he is unwell. He still handles his medical affairs, I don't try to butt in for any of his treatment. But I do make sure that I can step in and provide comfort and let him talk through the anxieties that come with being unwell. If you can add it, individual therapy could really help here. He's navigating this new space, which is taking a huge toll on him. You are his…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 09:27 AM
2

What you think men want in general is not what individual men want. For example, I asked my fiance what his favourite outfit of mine was. He said my yellow dress..... This thing is ancient. Bright yellow. Oversized. Doesn't show cleavage or any of my curves. It's literally my comfy home slob dress. When I asked him why that was his favourite, he said because that's the outfit I wear when I smile the most. Every man is different. Have faith in that.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 09:19 AM
1

To be fair, ChatGPT is a language model that does hallucinate information. However, the way he is talking to you sounds off.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 09:15 AM
1

That subreddit appears to be banned. I clicked on it, and got a popup saying so.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/25 01:58 AM
5

My fiance can be like that. In the moment I try to catalogue my thoughts, and come back later and have an "I feel" conversation with him about it. During those times I ask if his feeling right was more important than my feeling heard, which usually helps us into a conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/25 09:52 AM
6

Educational goals are why I postponed my wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/25 08:57 AM
6

Originally I wanted a wedding sooner rather than later. Then covid happened and my entire career fell apart (I worked in the live entertainment industry), so I went to university to retrain. I made the decision to put off getting married until after my studies, because this was such a stressful time and I did not want to rush a beautiful lifechanging event with my fiance just because I did not have the mental capacity for it. It has now been 5 years since we became engaged and we are planning fo…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/25 08:56 AM
2

This is what I love about this group.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/25 12:47 AM
1

This. My fiance comes home from work very stressed and would previously engage in gaming for hours to decompress. Instead I make him a smoothie, give him a shoulder rub, and quietly give him space afterwards. Supporting his needs while respecting his space. It helped so much.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/25 12:39 AM
2

The internet can provide some excellent spaces for connection. See if there are local groups on social media for your area.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/25 12:34 AM
13

He's willing to make a big sacrifice to spend more time with you. This doesn't appear to be any form of love bombing,so I think this is fantastic.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/25 12:30 AM
9

Honey this is a weak man. This is not your captain.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/25 12:19 AM
5

This sounds like a trust issue. Could you work on building that trust between the two of you?
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/25 08:02 AM
5

This. The biggest thing you can do is accept their perspective, and prove to them you are on a better path by being on that better path. Words are just words.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 07:14 PM
3

Honey I am a former drug addict and sex worker. What matters is WHO you are now, instead of WHAT you were then. Read some of the suggested books in the sidebar/posts, do some journalling and explore why you feel this shame, and work on improving yourself. You are taking that first step, which is looking at yourself under a new lens, that is commendable. Many people do not even get that far. If you don't want to be seen as your past, then make your future. For context, my fiance was a little nerv…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 07:12 PM
2

I'm really sorry that some of you experience this. That is awful.
/r/TheRedPill17/04/25 07:08 PM
4

As a programmer.... I cannot help but laugh because alphas are errors in my work. The Beta tests are the stable, useful ones! I know this is very different, but those were my first thoughts.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/25 06:53 AM
6

My family were like this too. My fiance is still very introverted. We actually met as flatmates. We had hard times, I mean neither of us had healthy relationships modelled for us as children. But we sought out resources. We both overcame our substance abuse issues. We are now healthy, happy, and succeeding in life. That doesn't mean everything is sparkles and rainbows, but it means we can approach challenges together, as a team. What you see on the outside is not always how a relationship is. We…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/25 08:32 AM
9

Look up your local toastmasters. It's a great way to build confidence when talking
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/25 08:29 AM
2

This is true.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 11:56 PM
1

Would it be weird for you to host dinner for your husband and friends?
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 10:28 AM
1

I know this exact feeling. It's ok to feel this way, but we are harming ourselves if we don't try to regulate during these moments. Have a safe person to contact, who can just be on the other end of a message. This helps prevent you from spamming your husband when you're anxiety gets high. Look into grounding methods. I meditate to a metronome and use a weighted blanket, they help heaps.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 10:27 AM
20

This is not a partner. This is how a fling acts.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 10:19 AM
2

You will look gorgeous. Be brave!
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 10:18 AM
2

This is fantastic. This helps you to address the instant trauma response (usually opposition to authority comes from trauma), and to regulate your body and nervous system before responding. Acting before reacting.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 10:14 AM
1

Only when going somewhere nice. In my every day I have them out. They are beautiful, but I understand that some people may still be alarmed by them.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 10:03 AM
8

Find someone emotionally mature, that is open, honest,and shares your values and beliefs. I was engaged within a year, the wedding has only been postponed due to me returning to university and not wanting added stress during that time. My husband and I match and compliment each other, and we established that very early on.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 09:57 AM
1

I believe that most of the content here is translatable to non-heterosexual relationships. We preach kindness, dignity, humility and respect. Every relationship could do with a bit of that.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 09:45 AM
1

The bi subs are appalling! I know your pain. I wanted facial surgery for years. I felt that so many parts of what made me who I am, were hideous. But recently I've started trying to highlight my unusual features rather than hide them. The most striking models are ones who stand out from the norm. We can embrace that. I hope you can become comfortable, however that route looks for you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 09:44 AM
1

My lymph nodes are the last of my bodily worries. I have had a couple of mine covered up by more sensible tattoos that are more feminine to try and combat the look of them.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:48 AM
13

Just remember that trust is earned, and from trust comes true respect. He doesn't seem to have earned that trust.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:47 AM
10

The fact that he is still on dating apps is a red flag. He is not respecting you, nor giving you the attention you deserve.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:44 AM
0

Exactly. I had my tattoos completed before I stepped away from feminism, if I had not gotten that first tattoo by now, I would not have gotten the rest. I love how positive and inclusive this group is. It's truly been a shining light.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:42 AM
16

Me reading this with many tattoos and jeans on..... 👀 Just do what works for you. Find out what you are comfortable wearing, and make that beautiful. My jeans are always clean, held in place with a tidy belt, with clean and tidy shoes. I am covered in tattoos, but I cover them appropriately when going out somewhere nice.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:29 AM
5

What are five things you like about yourself? Give a mixture of both personality and physical things.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:27 AM
5

The lies alone are a sign he is not to be trusted.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:26 AM
2

It sounds like you're burned out. Take the break.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/25 08:26 PM
1

Interesting take. What do you predict may happen with religion?
/r/TheRedPill31/03/25 05:55 AM
1

Grad school is grueling. I highly recommend taking a dating break for a while as you settle into your new routine.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/25 05:36 AM
2

Your points 5 and 3 are in conflict with each other. How would there be more single mothers due to media attention, but also more polygamy due to media attention? Note, this is only a query, I am not being hostile towards your statement, I just want clarification.
/r/TheRedPill31/03/25 05:34 AM
4

He only wants a future with you when you were willing to create your own future. What does that say to you? You deserve better than this.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/25 05:31 AM
7

My fiance doesn't want children because he has a disease that is inheritable, which has made his life very hard at times. This also means adoption or fostering would not be suitable, as I care for him when he's very unwell.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/25 07:49 AM
5

This isn't him missing you, this is him ignoring the boundaries you have set.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/25 11:38 AM
1

I bought my fiance a massage cushion that he can use during the day while working. It's helped his work day feel less harsh, I highly recommend them! If you wanted to have special things to indulge him with, you could try a hot oil massage. I use sweet almond oil or rice bran oil. Heat a mug of water in the microwave for three minutes, then pop a small heat safe plastic squeeze bottle of oil into the water to warm up. Never heat the oil directly. I pop towels on the bed and get him to lay down, …
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/25 08:39 PM
1

Sourdough is so good! I'm hoping to revive my starter soon. Where in New Zealand would you be going to? I'm in Hamilton, in the central North Island.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/25 01:10 AM
2

My fiance works full time and has his own business. I understand these feelings, I've had them too. Make home his sanctuary. Make it warm, light some refreshing scented candles, cool nutritious food to fuel him, and offer shoulder massages. Let him know that you are there for him, that home is always a place where he can rest.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/25 12:11 AM
2

You'd be surprised. I have met many women who thinks that their Chanel bag is better quality than another bag that is likely made at the exact same factory. Women who swoon over Swarovski crystals without realising it's just pretty glass.
/r/TheRedPill28/03/25 12:08 AM
2

This is a really constructive post. Male mental health models are largely generalised, based on female mental health models - as they present to support services more often. These models lack what truly helps men to overcome their own barriers - which is to embrace their own masculinity. A female therapist will never understand you. My fiance recently went to see a male therapist to work through some work stress. This therapist had a pool table, no pretty couches. They played pool, discussed thi…
/r/TheRedPill28/03/25 12:06 AM
5

Because people are stupid and think a higher price equates to higher quality.
/r/TheRedPill27/03/25 11:59 PM
1

Your college will have many clubs for different hobbies. Get involved, meet new people and try new activities.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 11:51 PM
2

You could come over on a working visa and see how it goes, that way you're not stuck on a partnership visa with no ability to make your own income. Also for a partnership visa you need to prove you've lived together for at least three months. I'm in New Zealand, have helped a couple of friends through the immigration process. A six month or one year stint over here with him gives you a chance to date and see how it feels, without committing to long term just yet.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 11:48 PM
3

I've never looked for a Rolex on a man. I know very little about jewellery and I don't know of any woman who matches what you described. It sounds like you're tailoring your aesthetic to a woman that either does not care about who you are, or a woman who is just after money.
/r/TheRedPill27/03/25 11:38 PM
1

That's so great!
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 08:06 AM
3

I actually proposed to my partner after a year. We went on an island trip, arrived that ring the entire time but he kept getting sidetracked by cool rocks and running off. I left the ring on his computer at home with a note. 😂 A year later he gave me a beautiful proposal on the top of a cliff. I knew in the first two weeks that this would be the man marry.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 01:37 AM
4

You deserve better than this. You deserve to be loved. You can make that choice.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/25 08:40 PM
39

Think about why you are pursuing someone like this.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/25 08:33 PM
4

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 08:55 AM
1

I loved it. I read this and The Surrendered Wife at the same time. I was able to take pieces from both books to work with myself on.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 08:47 AM
7

I have, he just said that he feels dead inside. So I am trying to let him feel what he needs to feel in his own time and space.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 08:40 AM
3

Are you attracted to this man? Do you share goals and values?
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 08:24 AM
2

Welcome! I seem to be in a similar space to you. Feel free to connect via message. Letting them lead can be so hard because we have that feminist monologue fermenting in the back of our minds thanks to modern media. We feel shame at letting them take the lead with finances and decisions, but we know that it feels right. My fiance started to truly shine when I took a step back and let him lead. Now I find that putting extra effort into meeting his needs no longer feels transactional, it feels lik…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 08:24 AM
2

Trust your gut. That same gut that could have become unwell due to his attempted actions.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 07:08 AM
1

The state laws say you cannot move more than 25 miles, but I am sure that is excluding the consent of the other parent. He may be ok with you moving further.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 07:05 AM
2

Boundaries are good for this.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 06:46 AM
2

It could also be that you are overwhelmed. That sounds like a lot.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 06:44 AM
1

Some guys are assholes and don't value a woman.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 10:33 AM
1

Keely Shaye Smith is who I think of when reading your post. She's still beautiful, and has aged naturally. She supports her husband but has her own interests too.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 10:20 AM
3

Many of us in this group are child free. I think you'll find an articulate, insightful group of women here.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 10:19 AM
1

Are you sure this isn't burnout? Starting a new career can be exhausting.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 10:09 AM
8

Mother's and wives lead everyday. Rather than leading with aggression and authority they lead with kindness, respect and boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 09:51 AM
1

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I'm here if you need to vent.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 09:10 PM
2

While focussing on weight loss, remember health is important too. I found that instead of things that would reduce my appetite, taking fibre (like metamucil) twenty minutes before a meal with water, to be far more efficient at controlling my intake. I feel so much healthier because of it too! Part of a glow up involves us as a person. Make some goals and create steps to achieve them, creating your own success can be a huge glow up.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 07:26 AM
1

Welcome! It's wonderful to hear things are going well for you. Indulging your partner in small luxuries can be a really bonding experience. I like to offer my fiance hot oil massages after a really taxing day. If you do this - make sure to use body wash or shampoo before they get wet in the shower to remove the oil though! It is the fastest way to wash it off. I found that reading the recommended book The Surrendered Wife, to be lifechanging. It really taught me how to step back and stop microma…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 07:11 AM
1

Nice skincare, a quality perfume that lasts, and lingerie always work for me.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 06:34 AM
1

I'm 34, with no kids. You are welcome here, no matter what you think.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 11:39 PM
1

That's wonderful!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 10:34 PM
2

I was controlling his contributions to our relationship, as well as my own. I expected his attention when I wanted it, not when he was able to offer it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 09:37 PM
3

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:58 AM
1

That is very possible.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:58 AM
1

I highly recommend any executive assistant roles. Having those skills would allow you to work as a virtual assistant a few hours a day while caring for your own children down the line. Get an AI model to take your resume and translate all of your skills to wording that is suited for assistant applications.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:44 AM
2

Sorry to interject, I have OCD myself. If you haven't found resources on how to support him, please note that it's actually counter-productive to offer comfort when they are in an obsessive or compulsive state. It reinforces that they need external comfort and cannot break out of it themselves. I'm sure you already know this, but thought it would be worth mentioning. :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:38 AM
4

It does get lonely at first, but if you focus on yourself, and what hobbies may interest you, you'll find that the alone time is very peaceful. It took me working through my insecurities to understand why I felt that way. Now I'm more confident, I know he loves and cares for me, and he feels better about working the wild hours he does.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:29 AM
2

My fiance works full time and has his own business. This leads to late nights and weekend work sometimes. The key thing is to let him decompress in whatever way works for him. Mine likes to game to relax, and will often game til 3am on weekends after he is working. At first I was irritated by that, thinking he should spend that time with me.... But I would be sleeping anyway. I make his favourite meals on the long days, and I make sure to give him shoulder massages if he keeps working at home in…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:27 AM
14

The book "The surrendered wife" is amazing! I'm fairly new to letting my fiance take control and holy moly that book has been amazing. I've seen wonderful changes in his confidence and happiness since trying ideas from that book.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:24 AM
2

Yes! I have a Samoan uncle by marriage, and I have his mother's family recipe. I try to find the best snapper for it too.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 09:26 PM
5

Board games are a fantastic way to see how others think in different circumstances.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 08:27 PM
4

Raw fish salad, I just can't deal with the fact that it's not cooked with heat. It sits in lemon juice for a few hours which apparently is similar to cooking. And the smell is baaad. But he loves it so I make it.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 07:07 PM
1

I'm a consultant analyst. In my spare time I meet with businesses and charities to help with strategic planning, based on their data.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 08:40 AM
53

The fact that he only showed any desire in change when you were about to leave tells us this is more about control than compromise. An apology without changed behaviour is manipulation. You deserve a strong man who you can look to for support and care.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 08:37 AM
6

I make his favourite foods even though they make me retch while cooking them.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 08:34 AM
11

From what I've read and learned so far, submission only works when you can trust the "captain" of the relationship. It sounds like he doesn't want you having this social life with your friends, and I think that warrants further investigation. I can see that he is constricted by his own responsibilities, so may be thinking you should also be miserable so he doesn't feel left out. That's a bit concerning.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/25 07:21 AM
3

Exactly. Day one with my partner I felt a safety I have never had. Even through the challenges we faced, I knew it was worth it because of his core traits.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 05:43 AM
6

I have started to bring these acts of kindness into my relationship and have seen great results. It is not only reciprocated, but has helped us to navigate conflict well now.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 05:03 AM
7

Comment on how lovely flowers are every time the two of you walk past them, then fondly reminisce about the bouquet he got you, and how loved and cared for it made you feel.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 12:05 AM
4

Seek a stable partner. Have a look at attachment styles, and have meaningful conversations with potential partners so you can understand them and their values. I had severe issues with men because of my father, but my fiance is a very secure person and that has helped me to heal so much.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 01:10 AM
17

Anchovies in the curtain rails and under the seats in his car.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 01:08 AM
1

I don't feel a sexual or romantic attraction, but more like an art appreciation. I can see the effort they've put in and think that's commendable. But only my fiance lights me up.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 11:29 AM
3

I've had surgery for my illness, my body can't cope with excess fat unfortunately. I have worked with the hospital dieticians and my surgeon to develop a diet that won't put me back in hospital.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 07:17 PM
3

I did try keto, but unfortunately I have IBS so it did not go well at all. I started using food, not food products and there was a huge change. Whole foods should be the bare minimum I reckon.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 11:06 AM
3

You are too kind. I come from multiple generations of trauma embedded into my families DNA. It doesn't need to continue.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 02:09 AM
1

Shop around. Have one session with each therapist where you just talk. About their modalities, their experience etc. It will help you to find someone that aligns with your goals and values.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 02:08 AM
3

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 02:07 AM
2

He truly is the best. He has his own solid boundaries too, which has been really helpful for me learning what I can process and handle myself rather than being codependent and relying on him for it all. Gosh I don't even know what types of books to ask.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 01:46 AM
7

Oh yes I am aware of that risk. I also acknowledge that losing bodily autonomy so soon after finally having it would be disastrous. I was starting to become that narcissistic abusive person, but I moved cities and met a very healthy, happy bunch of people that helped me to reconstruct my reactions. We have both decided to not have children, and instead to embrace our comfort.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 01:45 AM
6

I am still in therapy, and we see a couples therapist so that we can both learn how to communicate in a healthy way. Honestly that has been such a game changer. Thank you for your kind words, they made me a little emotional (in a good way). I think I forget about progress because I still see myself as far behind the starting line compared to everyone else. He is very supportive. Since being in the couples therapy he's learned to notice when I'm about to tip into an emotional spot, and depending …
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 01:42 AM
12

I understand this experience all too well. It took a lot of therapy for me to begin handing things over. I too did not think my fiance was dominant. I was very wrong. He was just going with what worked for me. When I started telling him I trust his judgement, and letting him make bugger decisions, he blossomed. It was been amazing to be a part of.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 01:14 AM
2

Hanfu is very feminine! The silhouette is beautifully displayed without having excess skin showing.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 11:09 AM
0

That does sound like a lot. How about door dashing him something on one of his busier days? If you were too much, he would probably tell you. Give it a few weeks.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 01:33 AM
8

It sounds like he just hit the wall. Work and study together take a huge toll on the body and mind. He wouldn't keep in contact with you if he did not want you. Do you know what his favourite things are? If so, you could try arranging some of those on an evening where he doesn't have too much study to do. Or you could make him some healthy but tasty snacks to help him while he is studying. My fiance did these little things during my study and they were very appreciated. I know I became distant a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 01:22 AM
1

Thank you
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/25 07:19 PM
2

Adding this to my kindle right now!
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/25 10:38 AM
0

This is an interesting question. What would you consider a fair answer? My first thought is to ask why the men removed the rights, and what benefit to society could evolve from that decision?
/r/MensRights07/02/25 11:09 PM
2

Male suicidality is an epidemic. But you won't catch any healthcare professionals admitting it. I am very very fortunate to be working in the mental health sphere with a wonderful man who really helps men to connect with their inner self. While we are both technically equals, I put him above me in the hierarchy, because he deserves to be there. This also helps when men try to access our support, they see a man at the helm, and it helps give them the reinforcement to come in and seek help.
/r/MensRights07/02/25 11:04 PM
1

What is ASD? I can only find references to autism.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/25 10:53 PM
-32

This kinda sounds like you have shitty taste in women. I don't know a single woman like this. They all split 50/50 but take over managing the household so their husbands/partners can relax.
/r/MensRights07/02/25 10:29 PM
4

I have to say I've not seen these posts you're talking about. I've o my seen clear, direct posts that seem to follow TRP dynamics.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/25 12:07 AM
19

That poor man.
/r/MensRights06/02/25 11:16 PM
10

He's an absolute character too if you look at his tiktok account. Great sense of humour.
/r/MensRights06/02/25 11:10 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/MensRights06/02/25 10:54 PM
1

My current partner. From day one, six years ago, we were both infatuated with each other. I would leave small flowers on his desk (we worked opposing hours for a while) so he would know I was thinking of him. I made his favourite meals (even though I cannot stand them) at least once a week. If he was gaming then he deserved a shoulder rub to help release the stress of the day. He is still my computer wallpaper. We were living together from day one. Unfortunately that whole blind in love thing do…
/r/MensRights05/02/25 12:41 AM
1

There's a local therapist that a male friend of mine sees. This man gets it. He doesn't sit on a couch and ask questions. He has a pool table and soft drinks, and plays pool with clients so they can chat naturally. There definitely needs to be more of this around.
/r/MensRights03/02/25 07:57 AM
3

This is very affirming to read. My partner and I just hit the six year point. I used to be a disaster, living as a victim from catastrophe to catastrophe. I was filled with contempt, and because of that I tried to control everything, including my partner's contribution to our relationship. About a year ago I took a step back and realised that while that behaviour had gotten me to this point, it wasn't going to take me any further and it was time to hold myself accountable and make changes. I now…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/25 07:35 AM
0

As a woman, I think this is a great idea. Destigmatizing male pleasure should be happening. Why is it ok for women's magazines to showcase sex toys, but any discussion around men's pleasure must be hushed and clandestine. Men deserve to feel good.
/r/MensRights03/02/25 07:27 AM
2

My partner buys his own socks. I buy him fossils, fragrances, luxury toiletry items... Things he won't buy for himself even though he works hard.
/r/MensRights03/02/25 07:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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