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Theendisnearornot Archive

View 14 posts and 368 comments by Theendisnearornot on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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25

Y’all aren’t married and you are putting up with this shit? I promise it will not ever go up from here. It will never get better. Walk. Nay run away from this. I don’t know why you think you should put up with this. Especially from someone who obviously is not captain material. He sounds icky. Please value you and your sexuality more than this. Look. I am not my husband’s preferred body type. I’ve had 4 kids. I am fat (working on it but still). My husband has never said “you are one of my prefer…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 11:38 AM
1

They aren’t catholic. They were but she still felt guilty about birth control. Didn’t matter what he thought
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 11:29 AM
1

It’s been 13 years - theyre way past any of that now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 06:13 AM
2

Well they have 8 kids. Each one marks the only times they had sex. She doesn’t want to be on the pill and gets pregnant every time they have sex and she cant understand why he doesn’t want to touch her. Then she makes fun of him about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 11:42 PM
3

Yeah but then they blame it on everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 08:12 PM
46

My husband’s aunts are like this. They ridicule their husbands (to their face and behind their backs)... and wonder why their marriages suck. They belittle their sons. They had a bad father growing up and I guess took it out on all men? His one aunt has said over and over she is only married because her husband makes enough money to support the family. But even in front the kids she jokes about his impotence (why the hell would he want to have sex with her?). Everything wrong is his fault. He wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 01:16 PM
4

This makes me chuckle because we had 4 kids in a 750 sq ft condo for a year (we were there for 4 years with 3 kids). Edit - I didn’t mean for this to sound condescending. It makes me laugh because it makes me realize how ridiculously small our last place was. I can’t imagine cramming ourselves back in that place.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:02 AM
19

I am just a couple steps beyond you. I was working out at the gym fairly regularly for about 6 months before they shut down. I found just picking a plan and sticking to it to be the best thing. It takes time especially for me to build any upper body strength. If you can find a beginner body weight routine that might be good. But just find something simple that you do regularly.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 12:57 PM
1

Wrap around shirts/dresses are great. I always wore layers when breastfeeding and I loved the Medela tank tops with the bra fitted (it’s an actual bra not a shelf). They’re on the pricier side though which may be an issue.
/r/RedPillWives26/04/20 11:45 PM
4

Even if it is a personality thing - you don’t have to like it! And calling you names or saying that your are boring is a clear indication of how he actually feels. It’s a good idea to be cautious and consider if that’s what he actually thinks about you. My husband jokes, but he also is aware of my limits (which I could have been more specific about) or stops when I say “okay, it’s not funny anymore now it’s just mean”.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 07:17 PM
1

I agree that is a mean joke. And I think she shouldn’t take it as a joke (especially as it seems like a cover story rather then the truth).
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 07:16 PM
1

I am commenting only on his saying “you were too busy to talk to me”. I didn’t mention anything else about other things he said. And I am saying that that is some people’s sense of humor and not to simply dismiss it as passive aggressiveness out of hand. I did not say she had to like it. I didn’t say anything about him calling her basic. Although I’m confused by exactly what that means which is why I left that alone. But that is where someone needs to stand up for themselves if she doesn’t like …
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 06:54 PM
1

No. But I’m pointing out that he says he is joking and it is possible that he is joking at least about that. I thought we took our man’s words at face value and didn’t try to over analyze everything? Edit- and it’s possible that this is new behavior for both of them (her missing calls and such) and it’s a new side of him she hasn’t seen before. Which may be a side she doesn’t like (which is good she is seeing it now if that is the case).
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 06:45 PM
2

Now I will say my husband has a much different sense of humor than I. And if I miss a call or anything but call back and I apologize he’ll say something like “whatever I know you were too busy to talk to me anyway”. I used to always think he was serious and read into it. I’ve had to learn his sense of humor. Now I say “no I just didn’t want to talk to you when I saw it was you” or something just as “mean” back. He laughs and we move on. He had to be really clear “this is me joking” before I got …
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 06:37 PM
2

Has he actually said that to you or is your guilt over it telling you this?
/r/RedPillWives15/04/20 02:24 AM
4

I have been very irritable and on edge. I finally realized it’s from anxiety and not being intentional about self care. All of my normal outlets are shut down and being here with 4 kids and no playgrounds has been rough. Some things I have been working on: listening to worship music. Mostly hymns. working out. Although I have had to push myself and some days I just couldn’t get through a workout. going for walks and working in the yard (outdoors things!) reading books I enjoy (like guilty pleasu…
/r/RedPillWives13/04/20 05:10 PM
12

I am a woman and o wholeheartedly agree with you. Around my conservative friends I can say I’m against modern feminism. But I don’t dare say I think any of the things you said.
/r/MensRights11/04/20 11:48 PM
7

This is so true. My sisters marriage could be a warning to many people. Her not taking sex seriously has destroyed her husband. There are more parts to it. But being on the opposite side of a spouse who can’t/wont meet sexual needs it is so incredibly heart breaking.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 03:02 PM
1

I agree. Part of being married for most people (obviously not polyamory or something like that) - the expectations is I will not have sex with anytime else. I will not go outside the marriage to have my sexual needs met. My husband also married me with the expectation that we will meet each other’s needs. It’s actually something we discussed before marriage (we waiting to have sex). I see it as my “duty” to meet his sexual needs. He can go to a restaurant to eat, he can hire a maid to clean, he …
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 03:00 PM
7

My husband doesn’t require that I don’t refuse. In fact he is very gracious and gentlemanly if I do refuse. I might apologize and he’s like “you have nothing to apologize for!”. I believe that’s the difference. It is my “rule” for myself. Not something he demands or even expects from me.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 02:56 PM
16

I very rarely say no to my husband about sex. But I come from a religious point of view where there’s a Bible verse about not withholding sex from your spouse. We also went through a really rough couple of years where we were rarely having sex (on my husband’s part). I look at any desire he has for me and something to be incredibly grateful for. Many women don’t feel in the mood until they get started - that is true for me anyway. I like what Dr. Laura says about it - but basically she says - wh…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 11:48 AM
5

I do the same with the entry way and with sex. Another thing I do is leave the computer/Xbox available for my husband after work. If there’s anything I need to do on there or want to play a game I do it before he gets home. So he can get on an play without having to wait for me. We’ve been falling into a routine that Saturdays I sleep in and he takes care of the kids. And we do the opposite on Sunday.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 11:41 AM
13

“I want to respect his wishes...” But you really don’t want to. You want to get the procedure done. I’m confused... 20s isn’t old?
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 11:06 PM
5

I agree. I lost sleep for a while thinking this would be a relapse especially seeing me disinfecting things or going out of my way to wash my hands a bunch. He does those things but to a “normal” level - definitely not obsessively.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 09:36 PM
19

It’s funny because my husband has OCD. He typically deals with certain intrusive thoughts but for the most part copes pretty well. Stress is a huge trigger for him and for nearly 3 years after buying our new house he struggled with severe OCD. Over the last 6-9 months he has really gotten a handle on it and is back to his normal levels of overthinking things. He laughs because everyone else is living what he did for the last several years. I went for a walk and touched a button for the light and…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 08:03 PM
14

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/coronavirus-in-babies-and-children%3famp=true https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/asthma.html https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/pregnancy-breastfeeding.html https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-covid-19-what-pregnant-women-need-to-know%3famp=true https://www.google.com…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/20 04:08 PM
15

She stated her child has severe asthma- that’s high risk.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/20 03:31 PM
29

Personally, I would do a limited separation. I would tell him if he goes out again and risks your health you will leave to go to a hotel with the children. And stick to that. You can let him know you will come back when he is willing to protect you and the children. At this point you need to be proactive to take care of your health and the kids. If you cannot afford a hotel - then restrict your contact with him in the home. Move his things from the bedroom or move yourself into the kids’ room. A…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/20 03:31 PM
1

I understand what you mean. But sex is a two way thing. It requires effort from both parties.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/20 09:21 PM
2

Have you read Laura Doyle’s An Empowered Wife? I found that really helpful. Marriage requires two people bringing their expectations to the table. You wanted sex and to be fulfilled sexually isn’t asking too much. You may have to give a little, but it sounds like you are giving everything and he isn’t.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/20 09:16 PM
3

Oh I totally get it. I promise. I love sex and how it makes me feel to have my husband desire me. It just came with a lot of personal growth . He wanted to have sex but because of anxiety he just couldn’t get past his own thoughts. I worked very hard for at least a year on my weight, all of the red pill ideas, Laura Doyle’s book. At the end of the day I had to accept where he was. It was incredibly painful and I’m not downplaying that for you AT ALL. I promise I get the feeling of being rejected…
/r/RedPillWives04/04/20 09:13 PM
1

Did he notice any changes with the shots? Did the doctor suggest stopping them or did he do it on his own? Has he sought out any other solutions. I ask because at the end of the day - you can do things to work on you. But he needs to be willing to seek solutions also.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/20 09:04 PM
3

ED is showing there’s something not healthy going on. Erections are typical in healthy, young men with normal testosterone levels. ED in and of itself means there’s something going on - physically or mentally. Does he have an reception in the mornings? Be mindful of going down the route of weight loss. It’s not a bad idea for your health, but I was on the verge on an eating disorder because my husband wasn’t having sex with me. Ask him directly if that’s the cause. Don’t just assume.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/20 09:02 PM
1

I could write a book about the last 3 years on my marriage and sex. I agree about getting testosterone testing for him if he is open to it. We have sex 1-2 times a month. My husbands sex drive dropped off because of his OCD and it’s taken a long time to rebuild trust for both of us. Now I have been dealing with fatigue and possible low thyroid so while the desire is there sometimes the energy isn’t. I’m learning that life isn’t all about sex. There’s definitely a shift in my thinking toward it. …
/r/RedPillWives04/04/20 09:00 PM
3

We had enough to feed our kids and take care of what we needed. We just counted every penny. We realized what we wanted and went for it. We’ve never been in a place where we didn’t know if we had enough to eat, pay our bills, etc. there just wasn’t any extra. I’m not saying to be irresponsible and have kids if you can’t afford it. I’m saying it’s worth the sacrifice to raise my own kids. I’m also saying there are a lot of things we think we need when in reality we don’t (expensive vacations, new…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/20 01:01 AM
29

My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so I could stay home. It wasn’t pretty. We slept in the living room on a broken futon so our son could have the bedroom (he was 2). We had one car and my husband worked 2 jobs. We had to go to the library to use the internet. Wee never had cable. Most of our furniture is still hand me downs. It is feasible if you make the choice to be. Neither one of us went to college... we don’t have any debt (except our house now). We paid it all off a couple of years…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/20 10:19 AM
2

Oh Anne of green gables is my favorite!
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/20 02:07 AM
3

One issue is that many people do not know how to separate emotion from their debates... so it becomes an argument. My sister loves have a political conversation and doesn’t think badly of anyone she disagrees with. That’s rare and hard to find.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 08:59 PM
5

I am a homeschool mom/SAHM I really like the book Managers of Their Homes. It is very rigid in scheduling though. My son needs a pretty regular routine. So what I do is print a week calendar from online (I like something that has every half hour. I then fill in (with pencil) all of my definite things. Meals, workouts, etc (I don’t do this weekly, just when there’s a routine change - like summer break or a quarantine). He does online school (my other kid are homeschooled and more flexible). He HA…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 10:19 AM
6

Sabrina (the old one), Roman Holiday (I like Audrey Hepburn).
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/20 08:49 PM
1

https://books.google.com/books/about/Loving_What_Is.html?id=FXg7WU4TxBYC&source=kp_book_description
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/20 01:41 AM
1

There’s a book called Loving What Is. I highly recommend it. It has helped me come to terms with different things over the years. You are going to have to forgive yourself (your younger you) for whatever mistakes you’ve made. This doesn’t go away if you break up. Because it is you not him.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/20 12:59 AM
24

gasp the patriarchy got me pregnant
/r/MensRights19/03/20 03:34 PM
17

Holy shit... if that isn’t one of the dumbest things I have ever read... Yes I am a mom. I got laid off because who the hell wants a massage during a viral outbreak? My husband “gets to” still go to work. Why is raising children seen as such a horrible burden? Like you choose to have a kid. The responsibility falls on both parents to rear them. Suck it up. Do what you need to do. Anyway. We’re be in serious trouble if I had to work and my husband was laid off. He makes the bulk of our income. Ca…
/r/MensRights19/03/20 03:33 PM
4

Unfortunately here in Ohio the testing in hard to come by. I have several friends who were exposed, got sick, got tested... and it’s taking almost a week for results. They are Self - quarantined. But I know far too many people who tell me they haven’t stopped their social engagements at all (even throwing st Patrick’s day parties).
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 01:43 AM
6

I’m so sorry you have to go through this being pregnant. I’ve thought about that anytime someone says they’re expecting. I can’t imagine how scary it must feel for you. Thankfully with a new baby you don’t need a whole lot (diapers, blankets, wipes. A place to sleep, a car seat - the bare minimum). Congratulations by the way. Babies are always a blessing :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 01:41 AM
12

I’m holding it together. I’m worried if I don’t I will lose it. I have 4 kids. They can’t have me falling apart. I have decided from now on no Coronavirus talk in the house . Just music, entertainment, etc. I know it’s happening. Me freaking out does no good. We have plans to start a garden as soon as it’s feasible. Our stores have no meat. So when our freezer runs out we will probably be going meatless. I’m stretching every meal as far as I can and making sure there’s no waste. I am laid off fr…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 10:46 PM
2

I wear yoga pants a lot. I asked my husband what he thought and he likes my butt in them. I also like leggings with a comfy longer shirt.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/20 11:06 AM
6

We aren’t super affected by this. I homeschool so that won’t be changing. I think I’m going to make sure we get a daily walk in. I’m planning on getting some cleaning projects done.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/20 09:14 PM
8

I’m trying to put into words what this question brings up. It’s more like memories or ideas, but it is hard to verbalize for me. My husband is very strong. Physically and emotionally. He down plays how strong he is. But it’s all fake lol. He has OCD that he deals with in episodes. When I see and hear what he has to overcome to deal with that - I am very impressed by his fortitude. His work ethic. He used to do work in the field with his job (he decided he hates doing it for various reasons and w…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/20 04:24 PM
1

That is very much how my husband is. He has very firm boundaries with me and with work, friends etc.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/20 04:15 PM
1

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/can-hormonal-birth-control-trigger-depression-2016101710514 This says otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/20 12:07 AM
14

Look into Take Charge of Your Fertility. It goes beyond the rhythm/calendar method. You track temps and cervical changes to see where you are in your cycle. I used it off and on (around pregnancies) for 10 years without issues. Our last baby was an “oops” but that was user error. I hadn’t been tracking and just did the good ol’ calendar method thinking I knew I was infertile. Yeah, no don’t do it that way. We used condoms & pulled out if I was anywhere near my fertile window. Also the book Sweet…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/20 09:08 AM
3

Just to point you to chapter and verse because it is definitely a good idea to do your own research :) https://biblehub.com/esv/1_corinthians/7.htm
/r/RedPillWives06/03/20 11:20 AM
1

Okay :) I can add more now. In everything that was going on I failed to realize my husband felt unloved and taken advantage of. He felt I wasn’t desiring his affection or sexual attention. I only wanted him to get me pregnant. Sort of what happens when a couple is trying to conceive a long time - sex isn’t an act of love or an extension of affection. It’s a thing to do to get to something else. Essentially you are both being selfish in regards to sex. It is difficult to see yourself as selfish b…
/r/RedPillWives06/03/20 12:11 AM
3

Pregnancy can be very hard on some women (not all but you never know which one you’ll be). I personally believe even then hard parts were 100 percent worth it. I love my children. It is hard. Don’t get me wrong. But the reward is more than I put into it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/20 11:13 PM
3

So I am seeing a few different issues and it sounds like they need to be separated out and dealt with individually. the first being your desire to have more children. you feeling a lack of emotional connection/satisfaction with sex (as a result of the other issues) you being very uncomfortable doing sex your husband’s way and feeling like he isn’t considering what your desire is during sex Number 1 - if you are anything like me you may feel deep sadness, frustration, grief, anger from sex and yo…
/r/RedPillWives05/03/20 10:27 PM
1

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mark-gungor-show-video/id513003378?mt=2
/r/RedPillWives05/03/20 09:18 PM
19

I’m a Christian and I hope I can offer some thoughts from that perspective for you. First of all - sex for gratification is not a terrible thing. Paul talks about marriage being an outlet for sexual desire . He tells unmarried men who are burning with desire to marry so they can have sex. I wanted more children (we now have 4 and we are done) but when we were thinking about having more - and I wanted more, but he didn’t - sex became a huge issue for us. I felt like every sexual encounter could b…
/r/RedPillWives05/03/20 06:34 PM
6

First of all - you have been through a lot. Secondly, if you are physically able to have sex (there’s not health restrictions right no) then just try to have sex. A lot of women don’t feel a strong urge before sex - they just start the process and get into it. When I had a lower drive than my husband I would “expect” sex nightly. Meaning we would get the kids in bed and I would actively choose to do things that made me feel more sexy and feminine. Like taking a bath with essential oils and using…
/r/RedPillWives26/02/20 06:57 PM
1

Look up the tummy team and fit2b!
/r/RedPillWives21/02/20 10:54 AM
2

I had the exact same experience with intuitive eating. I loved it for the mental health aspect, but I was diagnosed with prediabetes (along with some other health issues) - that can be affected by diet. I’m working on it though :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/20 05:53 PM
19

I am working on losing 80 lbs (I’m down 20!). I want to be able to do a 10 full push ups. I eventually want to open my own massage business.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/20 05:52 PM
5

I found just getting out of the house for a short, daily walk helped me when I had a newborn!
/r/RedPillWives05/02/20 01:01 AM
5

Check to see if there is a MOPs group near you. They are a Christian group, but usually fairly inclusive. I found having friends with having an infant was really tough. They’re on their schedules, you are on yours... we did a lot of library groups and things like that to stay connected.
/r/RedPillWives05/02/20 12:55 AM
10

I mean he can do that if you are married also. Getting married and having children is like 70% vetting and making sure you know the person and 30% left to chance (my own numbers I just made up of course). I believe my husband of 13 years would never cheat or leave me. His father and mother have been married some 40 odd years and his dad left his mom 4 years ago to move in with another woman. Now of course there are years, upon years of shit between them leading up to that point. If you don’t tru…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/20 04:31 PM
42

He’s been honest with you. Don’t romanticize and think “maybe I can change him” or “that’s not what he really meant”. Here’s the choice you have to make: stay with him and do not get married. Or move on. The ball is in your court. Can you stay with him and not feel resentment or blame him for not fulfilling you desires?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/20 01:42 PM
3

I just got back from a date with my husband :). We talked a little politics, a little bit about Chinese culture (we were at a Chinese place that serves both Americanized & traditional), healthy foods (I am losing weight and dealing with some health issues), podcasts, working out, work today and some of the stresses happening there... also some joking and teasing.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/20 01:50 AM
9

My husband and I came back from a really difficult place. We were having sex maybe once or twice a month and that was very stressful. His OCD made sex into a not so fun experience for a while. He really wanted things to be different so that probably helped things. We are now having sex about once a week. We both would like more, but I am now having some health issues (anemia, low vit d and some unknown that I’m working with a doctor on) that makes me incredibly tired. By the time the kids get to…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/20 04:18 PM
19

Seriously, ask him what he likes! My husband loves it if I make eye contact. I know because he said “that’s so hot “ when I asked :). I don’t do it the whole time because my neck lol and it can get awkward. But a well placed hair flip with eye contact is a good move.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/20 12:40 AM
17

12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/20 04:33 PM
14

You’ve got a lot going on. Since you plan to be a SAHM anyway can you at least look for part time work? How much of this have you spoken to your husband about? You have a lot of your plate, plus the emotional toll of miscarriages (plus that stress will not be beneficial to you in the long run regarding trying to conceive). For now, make things a simple as possible. Plan dinners and do meal prep on the weekend, make double portions and freeze meals (of course double check which things freeze well…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 04:06 PM
1

My husband can. I choose to work part time to contribute, but we were one income for a very long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 10:52 AM
12

When I was first married I did a Carmen Electra stripper workout on dvd. Huge boost to my confidence (and no way would I do that outside of my house lol). I bet there’s things on YouTube to help. Things like sexy underwear & pjs can help you feel sexier. Even non lingerie /comfy pjs can be sexy (not flannel) but like a pretty, silly, nightgown Edit - that should be silky nightgown not silly LOl. I feel a silly nightgown is defeating the point .
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 10:44 AM
4

I like what Laura Doyle says about saying “I can’t” when it comes to doing things you know you will resent. If he asks for something and you know you will resent him for it - it’s fine to say “I can’t “ no other explanation needed. Practice some amazing self care. I imagine he will start to notice the difference fairly quickly.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 02:09 AM
1

It seems weird for advice, but I’ve heard it a few times. And it really does help :). It won’t make ALL the awkwardness go away, but I can help a little bit :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/20 02:23 PM
15

I highly recommend talking shoulder to shoulder versus face to face. It can make things less awkward. Remind yourself that your boyfriend is on your team. He isn’t waiting to find out your vulnerabilities and use them against you (if he is then you need to find another boyfriend!).
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/20 01:18 PM
1

Okay - so looking at it strictly from having read and applied Laura Doyle’s advice to my marriage... When you emailed him you put him on the defensive. Hey here are all the things you do wrong. And here’s how you need to change for me. If he is a good man (isn’t addicted to drugs/gambling/alcohol, cheating, or hitting you) then applying Laura Doyle’s ideas can work. But It first takes an acknowledgement of the things we do (nagging, controlling, disrespecting, etc). Laura Doyle’s book was first …
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/20 10:57 PM
2

I have 4 kids. None of them as intense as yours, but hopefully I can help a little bit. Can you get a mother’s helper? If you check into local homeschool groups you may be able to find a teenager that can help do home stuff that you can’t get to (laundry, dishes, etc). I don’t know if you can spare any extra expense, but that might be a really good option. I say homeschooler because you can probably find someone to help once or twice a week during the day AND homeschoolers tend to have lots of s…
/r/RedPillWives20/01/20 09:42 PM
14

There’s a book called The Postnatal Depletion Cure that is excellent for anyone who has had a baby, but I highly recommend for you having had so many in a row. :). Glad you got it worked out!
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/20 11:31 PM
5

When I was 16 I felt all the same things you are feeling. I looked bigger than my friends (I have broad shoulders and idk really big framed. Like my fingers aren’t petite and long and “feminine”). Of course now I look back and I’m like “man - I was cute. Too bad I couldn’t see it!” So a lot of what you are seeing may not be factual. So some of what you are experiencing is part of growing up. Almost every teenage girl feels this way (even if they don’t act this way). So gaining a proper perspecti…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/20 03:16 PM
11

Congrats on the pregnancy :). I homeschool and we have lot of families in our community that have big families. Do you work outside of the home? If not - and you say you are in a tough spot financially- your husband is probably feeling very burdened by this new baby he has to support. I wouldn’t go overboard in trying to get him to talk about how he feels. I wouldn’t ignore him, I would just give him a little time to open up to you. Don’t bombard him with tons of emotions about his response. I w…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 08:46 AM
21

Have you read Take Charge of Your Fertility? FAM (fertility awareness method) takes into account an odd cycle versus a calendar method. Is he on board with no BC?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 08:37 AM
4

If you haven’t yet, read The Empowered Wife , Fascinating Womanhood, and Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. A couple of thoughts that come to mind is to remember what is most important. Is winning an argument more important or the marriage as a whole? If you value your marriage then that needs to become more important than being right. Write down all the things you admire about your husband (or things you should admire). Focus on those things first instead of resorting to complaining. Thank hi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/20 12:59 PM
3

If he feels the need to be dishonest with you - you may be taking it too far with your worrying him. Trust that he can take care of himself. He was before you were there to remind him of it and he made it this far :). There are very few things I can tell my husband to be careful with without getting an eye roll or a “really?” from him. I think if it’s done in an overly mothering way - it’s annoying. I think if it’s done in a sweet cutesy way - it’s endearing. The first being like what another co…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 02:06 AM
25

Kudos to you for seeing the issues! Realizing you have a problem is the first step, isn’t it? Now just keep going at it! It won’t always be easy, i it will be worth it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 01:46 AM
8

Please read Dr Laura’s In Praise of Stay at Home Moms :). She actually addresses this issue in the book!
/r/RedPillWives11/01/20 10:42 AM
–

I slept last night. The WHOLE night. The kids have been sick since New Years and the night before New Year’s Eve is the last night I slept all the way through. I actually thought “if anyone wakes me tonight I may not survive “. And no one woke me up! So very thankful (and especially thankful everyone is mending nicely after a yucky head cold).
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 05:04 PM
2

I like sex. I thoroughly enjoy sex. A good man will absolutely not want his woman to be sexually frustrated. My husband doesn’t “finish” until I do. We aren’t plain and vanilla either. Sex is a major part of a healthy relationship. We’ve grown together sexually to figure out what we want. It isn’t just “done”. It changes and evolves. There are things 10 years ago I would have never have tried (and things we no longer do). No one is saying to “murder” that part of you. We have all been saying to …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 01:18 PM
3

Okay. Well the last thing I will say is this. You have done it your way and don’t have the result you claim you want. You are talking to someone that has a husband who provides so I only work part time (of my own choice) and stay home to homeschool our kids. I have sex regularly with my incredibly attractive, hard working, amazing man. ( we waited until we were married to have sex.) If you want advice on how to get that - I’ve already given it. Like I said though - do what you want 🤷🏻‍♀️.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 12:57 PM
3

You are choosing to read what you want into my responses. Not what is actually there. A person needs to prove themselves capable of doing those thing BEFORE having sex with them. That is what I am saying. Someone who PROVES to you that they will provide for, care for and be committed to you is only then worthy of your sexual attention. Not before. I don’t know how to say it more clearly.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 12:08 PM
5

Wow you are so missing my point. Do whatever the heck you want.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 11:07 AM
43

That’s unacceptable behavior in his part. My husband and I take the Bible literally when it says your body isn’t by just your own anymore after you are married. And he would never, ever treat me like that.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 08:27 PM
4

Are they really though? And I don’t mean they are so hot. I mean will they provide for you? Care for you when you are sick? Be committed to you? Isn’t that what you said you were wanting? Not everyone is worthy of my sexual attention. They have to earn it. They have to show that they are trustworthy. (Well hypothetically- my husband has already proven that to me). I’m not sure what you are looking to gain here. Do you understand the sub you are in?
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 07:20 PM
6

People want what they want. Typically the men that are simply looking for sex aren’t looking to fulfill someone’s desires. They are looking for sexual gratification. Which is exactly what you are looking for, is it not? Are you hoping to give of yourself to make another person happy even if that means it is difficult for you? I have been married 13 years. Sometimes that means we don’t have sex when I want to (or having sex when I’m not totally feeling it). Haven’t you ever heard of “why buy the …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 07:12 PM
9

Read some of the info on this sub. It’s different than mainstream ideology. Mainstream is have sex whenever because of the urge to have sex. RP is based on the idea that men are the gatekeepers off commitment and women are the gatekeepers of sex. If a woman wants commitment typically (not fail proof or 100% guaranteed) then providing sex will 1 - push away men than are wanting a committed relationship and 2 attract “men” that purely want sex without the commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 04:15 PM
7

She said she can’t wait more than a month with her FWB when someone said that she should wait to have sex in a LTR. She can’t have it both ways if she is doing RP. And I thought I was in a sub that valued honesty over feelings?
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 04:11 PM
10

What do you want? If you just want sex the go have sex. If you want a committed relationship then you need to wait. It’s called self control.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 12:37 PM
1

I don’t have advice or any knowledge of the inner workings of the military. I just wanted to let you know that I am pissed off for you. This suck and I’m sorry you are dealing with it. Good on you for getting help. Do what you need to to stay strong and keep fighting.
/r/MensRights08/01/20 10:47 PM
1

There’s was a YouTube video from Jordan Peterson where he talks about certain personalities just need to work like this. I can’t wrap my head around it because it isn’t me at all lol. It is all about the fun stuff for me! Anyhow, have you read The Empowered Wife yet? How to express that you’d like to spend more time with him? Not to diminish how you feel by any means - but from his point of view he probably looks at it like he is doing a lot of this FOR you. I imagine his live language would be …
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 08:48 PM
0

Sex can be incredibly important. But as I’ve been married for a while it becomes not the most important thing - if that makes sense? 2 years ago the idea of only having sex once a week was laughable. We were having sex nearly everyday. Then my husbands sex drive plummeted. At first it was devastating to me. Now we have sex maybe 2 times a month. I figure we will rebound at some point. There’s definitely a flow and at some points it loses its importance and at other times it’s incredibly importan…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/20 09:59 PM
15

My husband and I waited until we were married to have sex. However we talked a lot about what we expected and what we hoped for. We read a few books on our own about expectations of sex in marriage. Here is my take away: first of all - sexual incompatibly is largely a myth (over the long term). If 2 people have the same goal - a relationship working then both people will need to give something for that to happen. Often that is sex. For example when we were first married my husband had less sex t…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/20 06:56 PM
3

I’ve been reading Atomic Habits (excellent book by the way). I’m working on building particular habits. For example I don’t like that I’m on my phone so much. So I bought a separate alarm clock. That way I can charge my phone overnight somewhere besides my room. Another thing is logging my meals. I am setting out my journal on the table. My habit I am building is every time I sit down to eat, I will open my notebook.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/20 05:33 PM
2

I’m a woman who is not a feminist. I consider myself anti feminist :)
/r/MensRights28/12/19 08:22 PM
4

This needs to be a post of its own! Very well thought out!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 10:31 AM
5

Look for some people $400 is a huge deal. We spent maybe at most $400 on all the gifts for our family combined (my 4 kids husband myself and gift exchanges). I could not in my wildest imagination purchase a $400 piece of jewelry for a family member. I would feel very strange if I received such a gift especially if it was from someone I didn’t know very well. You seem very obtuse here. Let me explain very clearly. $400 is a very expensive gift for a lot of people. Just because it was not anything…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 01:54 AM
6

It was a wonderful gift. But not for someone after that short of time. You seem to lack some social awareness which shows in that you came here for advice while arguing with every comment. Everyone - your bf, his mom, your mom and the commenters here are saying this was a faux pas, but you continue to argue your point. I love gifts and gift giving. But there are certain rules of etiquette surrounding the gifts. If she were your MIL it may be appropriate. (Note the May be). I would personally fee…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 01:47 AM
17

Not the original person you replied to. But leaders earn respect and trust not demand it. Will it always be easy to respect even the best guy? No. But it also won’t always be hard. And a good leader understands where someone’s weakness is and not hold an impossible standard. They will also evaluate themselves to see why they aren’t being respected (instead of blaming it all on you).
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 01:19 AM
11

Not all men are like that. My husband would have to hold himself back from tearing this guy apart if he knew how he was treating you!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 01:13 AM
2

I loved being pregnant and giving birth. But I detest the newborn phase. I mean I love newborn stretches and coos and snuggles , but I can’t handle the not sleeping. We have 4 and while we would have wanted even more - we knew I couldn’t handle the not sleeping phase. It’s hard but it really does get better. I feel like there’s this expectation for a woman to have a baby and life goes back to normal. But it is a huge change. It takes a lot of flexibility to find a new equilibrium. You’ll find yo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/19 02:49 AM
2

A couple of thoughts - 5 months post partum is still very early. It is easy to worry about more children, but focus on who you have right now and let those feeling sort themselves out when she’s a little older (after you are sleeping more and she’s easier to handle). More babies doesn’t always equal harder. When they are very, very little - yes it can be a challenge. But my husband and I laugh when we think about what we thought was so important with our first that we don’t think about at all wi…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/19 02:44 AM
10

This sounds a lot like the book Love and Respect. Also For Women Only. I can’t remember where I read it, but saying “why” tends to signal disrespect. Like “why are you wearing that shirt to dinner?” It’s putting yourself husband/partner on the defensive so they have to answer to you for the choice they made.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 12:35 AM
10

I have been working on losing weight and building some muscle by weightlifting. My husband loves it :). I show him whatever new muscle I have and he gets really excited for me (he likes smacking my butt too to see if the squats are working lol).
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/19 01:51 PM
8

Neither my husband nor I had good example of healthy marriage. Self awareness is a good first step toward having a good marriage. Understanding how you deal with conflict and emotions is key. And choosing not to follow tha patterns of your parents. It is easy to fall into those patterns when things get hard and it’s difficult to see clearly. So it is definitely a never ending process.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/19 04:07 PM
11

I was 12 when the internet was available in my house. I got onto chat rooms and such because it seemed like fun. I still can remember in vivid detail some of the private messages made toward me (violent descriptions of rape and more). There’s no way I’m exposing my children to that.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 05:54 PM
2

Slip as in searching out something pornographic. For example, my husband’s sex drive diminished. He felt like a failure and thought maybe if he looked at porn it would help (spoiler it didn’t). He talked to me about it. Or going down a Reddit rabbit trail and ending up somewhere i didn’t expect or just out of curiosity (I had never seen porn at all until I was in my 30s so I was like “okay let’s see what I’m missing?” And ended up looking at more than I first intended. I talked to my husband abo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 11:52 AM
9

Not OP but my husband and I chose together to not watch porn. He asks that I don’t and I ask that he doesn’t... it isn’t restrictive it’s respectful. We’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs in our marriage and we’ve both “slipped” but we are honest with each other when we do.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 08:59 AM
56

It infuriates me that porn is so normalized. I made a comment once that I don’t allow my 11 year old unsupervised access to YouTube. I was told that I was too strict and he needs to learn how to navigate that stuff eventually. Um no - not at 11. There’s studies about how young kids are finding porn. No thanks. We are incredibly diligent in guarding our kids minds. If they get to be 18 and want to see it - fine. We’ve talked to our boys about how sex is like fire. In a controlled burn it provides…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 08:56 AM
3

Sharing that much info in the first three weeks is a red flag, having sex on the second date is a big no-no. Vet the guys better before sleeping with em. Sorry this happened.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/19 12:53 AM
3

Yup my first thought too.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/19 12:52 AM
24

Read Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life for sure. I agree with putting away electronics. If it is really affecting you to the point where it is affecting everyday life - I would look into therapy.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/19 05:47 PM
1

It isn’t veering toward domesticity or traditional families (although the author seems to be in one). It’s more along the lines of “be anything you want” type feminism versus traditional gender roles. I mean the authors of both books very clearly show the differences between men and women. They aren’t worried about pigeonholing the male perspective and assigning him a traditional role - but they don’t do that as much in regards to their take on women. For men they talk about his strength and how…
/r/RedPillWives13/11/19 03:13 AM
2

It’s a lovely book, but with underpinnings of feminism. She does talk about the desires of women (the feeling of being too much and not enough all at once). I don’t know that it compares exactly to Wild at Heart(seeing the growth into manhood by stages for example). It is about how girls’ hearts get hardened by life and regaining some of that innocence. Way of the Wild Heart is also very good.
/r/RedPillWives13/11/19 02:24 AM
1

I understand where it came from. I had serious trepidations because I knew about TRP and I thought it was about that. My mom still won’t watch it because she heard it’s about TRP and doesn’t understand that it isn’t that at all.
/r/MensRights04/11/19 10:04 AM
27

I was seriously hesitant to watch based on the name (I wish she had called it something else). It is excellent. It’s what brought me here to Men’s Rights.
/r/MensRights03/11/19 08:37 PM
8

It sounds like you just need to keep doing what you are doing. I know what you mean by "poisoning the well", but i think it comes with reassurance and consistency with following and submitting. I think attempts to talk about it might be seen as criticizing him and undermine your efforts. Unless he is asking you to make the decisions, I don't think there's an issue with him talking it over with you (unless I'm reading your post wrong). We women like to work on our men and our relationships. Try t…
/r/RedPillWives28/10/19 12:16 PM
3

My brother in law refuses to have my sister be a stay at home mom. He could do things to increase his income, but said he is against the idea of the wife not working. They also could do things to decrease their living expenses, but again he is dead set against it. That is the difference between “I want my wife to not work, but it’s scary and hard to make this work” versus “absolutely not”. So I guess where does he stand?
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/19 07:09 PM
3

I guess it’s the question of is he fundamentally willing to be the sole provider when it comes down to it - regardless of his fear. That’s who’d you respect anyway, right? The man who is willing to accept the responsibility even if it is terrifying.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/19 06:34 PM
8

My husband was terrified at the prospect of me being a SAHM. He didn’t tell me at the time, but later on he did. There are a ton of factors involved. I don’t know if it’s time to go or not, but be mindful it is a big decision on his part to be financially responsible for you and future kids
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/19 06:03 PM
6

Well, traditional ideas about sex are considered sexist. Men were seen as being able to sleep around freely (of course with whom are they “sleeping”?). And so with the free love movement of the 60s (and the wider spread use of birth control) women were no longer constrained by traditional ideals of waiting until they were married to engage in sex (or at the very least not have multiple sexual partners). While some things changed for the better - an openness about sex in general and the shame bei…
/r/RedPillWives24/10/19 04:28 PM
5

I’ve never understood singling out a demographic for a “history month”. I think learning about the achievements and contributions of whomever it is they are trying to celebrate is much more impactful when it is in context. Even when I was a kid I never understood black history month. I felt like it was just history and those stories should be told all year. We homeschool and that’s our approach and philosophy for teaching history. Context is important. “Herstory” is a joke.
/r/MensRights08/10/19 09:35 PM
3

Speaking as a wife whose husband doesn’t do any of those things - it doesn’t change. Now I overlook that and I focus on what he DOES do. Those little things aren’t things my husband thinks about. He doesn’t love me less for it though. For example, I was irritated on Valentines Day that he forgot. But I get up and see he shoveled the car out of he snow and cleared the windows. That’s not a big romantic gesture- that’s who he is (he does that whatever day it is). So I focused on he ways he does ex…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 09:55 PM
4

I work for a small massage business that’s primarily focused on medical/clinical type massage. I used to work at a spa which wasn’t terrible, but pay wasn’t great.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 09:48 PM
9

I’m a massage therapist :). Upside is you get lots of creative, artsy types. Downside is you don’t often get benefits. It works for me though. :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 06:49 PM
9

I’m actually way more for men’s rights than my husband. We watched The Red Pill and while he was sort of upset I was outraged. We have 2 boys! Is this the world I want them to grow up in? My husband takes more of a “man up” view. And even though I’ve showed him countless threads, he still isn’t convinced a man can be raped by a woman. Am I the misogynist? I must hate myself lol
/r/MensRights03/10/19 11:16 AM
9

The biggest thing to remember is that you aren’t his mom. Let him make his own mistakes and own up to them himself (no “I told you so’s” either). A lot of bad things can happen if you see your being logical as smarter than him and him being “less than” you. You may not be there, but some of the wording of your post sounds like you’re on that road. Embrace his differences from you. Banish name calling. Like what is something you absolutely would never, ever do? Like drink poison? Calling your hus…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 08:33 PM
10

Straight forward he is telling you what to expect from marriage with him. You are already expressing doubts and trust me this is as good as it gets with relationships (meaning this preengagement/newlywed type feeling is as amazing as it can possibly be). It only gets harder the more years there are. There aren’t any surprises in store. He’s been very clear on what he can give you. Is that enough?
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/19 10:21 PM
16

Heels are so not great for so many reasons sigh. Sorry I’m a massage therapist and they do more harm then good. Although I will be found every once in a while wearing them, but my hips, feet and low back don’t care for them. Anyway, just wear them if you want to :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 03:30 PM
4

I love Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life and any of his YouTube lectures.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 12:29 AM
19

Feminist is toxic waste (coming from a woman). And it’s becoming more and more overtly ridiculous. I was trying to read a nice summer novel (y’know a sappy story about buy an old house and turning it into a B&B). I had to stop reading because it just became propaganda at a certain point. I was surprised to see the author was a guy and writing under a female pen name. It was like the most cringey/virtue-signaling/white knighting piece of bull shit. One could probably hear my eyes rolling. And it …
/r/MensRights16/09/19 09:01 PM
6

I don’t classify myself as red pill. I’m here because of like minded women who think traditionally. Personally I think biblical values are worth while pursuing. Yes, I’m a Christian and look at the Bible from a spiritual perspective, if you will. But I also think it serves the practical as well. I don’t think hook up culture serves maturity at all. Hell, most of the TIFU and AITA subs are filled with these ridiculous stories that could have been avoided had someone not hooked up. I think that pu…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 05:45 PM
3

So unfortunately (and regardless what is it you are arguing about) the only person you can change is.... you. Evaluate what you are contributing to the argument. Work to change those things. How can you work on it? Be honest about how you approach things, your expectations, your tone of voice, the language you use... A couple of things have helped me greatly in regards to approaching my marriage— the books The Empowered Wife (Laura Doyle) and The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Dr Laura). A…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 02:41 AM
2

When I first got married I read a lot of marriage books (mostly from a Christian perspective). Most stressed the fact that most men didn’t have a lot of friends and how as a Christian wife it would fall on me to be a sounding board/ fulfill that need for my husband. It was seen as an honor not as a burden. This type of article pisses me off to no end. “Toxic masculinity” is absolutely bullshit no ifs and or butts and “wah wah wah poor me” is such a degrading place to put women.
/r/MensRights08/09/19 11:51 PM
7

There are some studies that show long term most people don’t regret staying in an unhappy marriage. Meaning it was an unhappy period that they got through. And most people that have been married a long time did go through some bad times but stuck it out.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 02:40 PM
8

Agreed. I have 4 kids I homeschool and do lots of reading aloud to. And I definitely still have a need for my own hobbies. Also when they baby leaves the nest like they’re supposed to - what is there to fulfill her now?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/19 11:21 PM
4

That often happens in public school as well. I had a science teacher who was a climate change denier. All teachers had their own bias one way or another. One English teacher was so incredibly feminist/sexist she graded papers differently for boys & girls in the class. You couldn’t quite say that was the issue, but everyone knew it was there. Public school/private schools/Homeschool all suck for one reason or another. And some are really awful - but one can’t brush a broad stroke and say they all…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 07:20 PM
4

Read the Brave Learner! I love that book :). I’ve got 4 that I homeschool :). There are so many pieces of advice and whatnot that make it hard to answer your question (it’s too broad in other words). Where to begin? Start with learning your state’s homeschool requirements/laws. Getting onto a FB group for your area is the best way to figure that out. Determine your “why” for homeschooling. This may evolve overtime, but it helps determine what and how you want to teach. Research different methodo…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 03:51 PM
5

I disagree- public school isn’t impartial because no one can be totally unbiased. I agree that making it into a big scary place that is out to get you is not ideal, but they aren’t impartial.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 03:43 PM
3

I love Ina May Gaskin & the movie the business of being born. Stay active, eat well ( easier said than done if there’s morning sickness)! I love Shiva Rey’s prenatal yoga. Prenatal massages as often as you can spare the money & time (I’m a massage therapist..I’m biased (; ). I also recently have gotten very interested in core health & pelvic floor health. There are some excellent resources and my 2 favorites are Fit2B and the tummy team! Edit - find a healthcare provider (midwife or ob) you real…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 01:02 AM
7

She is a doctor (and OB-GYN at that) according to her website. She’s got lots of feminist propaganda on her Twitter & website.
/r/MensRights28/08/19 08:39 PM
5

Agreed, (I haven’t watched the video yet) but as a Christian it isn’t meant to be just walked all over. There are recourses the Bible even days to talk (speaking to a elder & other members of the church). There is also nothing about separation in the Bible. Yes, divorce - but nothing about spending time apart because someone is being abusive. It’s also clearly stated in The Empowered Wife that it doesn’t apply to abusive men or those with addictions...
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/19 08:56 PM
13

It sounds to me like you are having mixed feelings. On the one hand, you do seem to like him or at least like the attention he gave you. There is also the mixed up emotions of wanting to be married and maybe this is the one chance and what if you walk away from that? On the other hand, you are seeing some red flags and concerns about this particular man. Personally I don’t believe someone that cares about you yells at you if you “do something wrong”. I like Pastor Mark Gungor’s take on hear type…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/19 02:11 PM
9

We waited to find out the sex with all 4 of our kids. We decided early on we wouldn’t circumcise our boys (we have 2). My sister had a boy and my BIL wouldn’t even have a conversation about it. He said that since he is circumcised his son will be also. Soo thankful my husband didn’t thing the same way!
/r/MensRights21/08/19 01:55 PM
2

There is a period of grieving after getting married that no one is prepared for. It is a totally new way of life! It makes total sense to be sad and homesick. It does get better :). Since you are conservative and Christian I love Mark Gungor’s podcast (he’s not doing any new ones, but his archive is great). Also the book Sheet Music is good. There are tons of great Christian resources for newlyweds that I devoured when I first got married. Just doing a quick search at the library or book store w…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 03:53 AM
15

My ideal daily routine (which I occasionally do in full, but it’s usually bits and pieces) is workout/walk the dog, shower (wipe down the bathroom a bit after), make breakfast, do my Bible study, make a daily agenda. I have to be very intentional if I want to fit all of it in before the kids get up. I have found if I get woken up (especially by crying and screaming) I am in a bad mood and it’s hard for me to get out of it. A few mornings in a row like that? And I’m downright miserable. So it mea…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/19 11:49 AM
18

I will complain less. I tend to complain a lot about everything. Often I think I’m being funny, but I realized the other day as I was about to text my husband yet another complaint I realized how often I do. So I texted him something nice instead (like, “can’t wait to see you later”) and instead of complaining I reframed it to a desire (“I’d love to get to bed a little earlier tonight 😉” instead of, “I’m so tired, I went to bed too late last night”). And when it was about 9:00 my husband mention…
/r/RedPillWives11/08/19 10:20 AM
6

I’m very happy for you. I struggled with PPD after my second (well, it took at least a year to bounce back from my others as well). It actually sounds very similar to you. My husband put up with a lot from me. Our marriage was falling apart and I suggested a divorce (mostly because I thought I should be my kids’ mom and he should find someone who wasn’t as screwed up). He said if I ever suggested that again I better mean it. We cried together and got out of it eventually. That’s awesome that you…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/19 10:29 AM
20

It’s not obvious which is why someone had to write a book about it. My sister doesn’t take any offense if I interrupt her and we have a back and forth conversation (she does the same to me). I grew up that way. My husband was around my family once and he says “ooh that’s why you talk over me. You didn’t get a word in growing up. How the heck can you all even know what someone else is saying?”. Yes, it’s a different dynamic between women versus men. I was listening to him before. But now how he w…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/19 03:36 PM
1

If you know that you are going to a restaurant bring your own vegan cheese or don’t eat a cheeseburger.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/19 08:11 PM
1

Lol, yes! That’s the book!!
/r/RedPillWives30/07/19 02:35 PM
1

Ahh! I wrote out a whole response and lost it. I’m going to try again. From what I can see from what you have written here... I wouldn’t try to follow FW too closely (at least that portion). The dynamics of your relationship are a bit different than what she’s describing (yours are a bit reversed). Personally I’d use a lot of The Empowered Wife principles. Like saying “I’d love to hang my things up and have a little space when I walk through the door”. It’s okay to acknowledge what you desire an…
/r/RedPillWives30/07/19 01:44 PM
1

I try my best to give my husband time at the end of his day. But it rarely happens that way. I will say I used to bombard him when he walked through the door with how awful my day was and “venting”. Whereas he just wants to sit, get his shoes off and go to the bathroom. So I do back off. Of course my kids are a little older now (my youngest is 3, but my oldest is 11). It was different when I had a 2 year old and a newborn. But if I do a lot of self care it does make a big difference. I have had …
/r/RedPillWives30/07/19 12:20 PM
2

I can understand feeling that way. Above and beyond the grieving process there are crazy hormones at play. I think everyone processes things differently also. If you really feel like it is too much, perhaps a counselor would help? https://fit2b.us/grief-routine/ I wonder if this may be of some help. I’ve not done this myself, but I’ve heard very positive things about it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 03:48 PM
6

I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you. There is no “right “ way to feel at a moment like this. You sound like an incredibly strong woman (even if you don’t feel like you are). I don’t know what you believe, but I hope you don’t mind if I pray for you.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 01:23 AM
1

Welp, that's fine you took it that way. It was 10 years ago and I don't recall the whole conversation. I am paraphrasing it. He basically told me he was sexually turned on by someone we were looking at. I wasn't crazy to know about that at the moment (I believe i was very pregnant at the time as well). He didn't take it the "wrong way" from me either. We both laughed it off and have talked about it since. He doesn't care for me to make comments like that regarding the opposite sex so he's respec…
/r/RedPillWives14/07/19 08:30 PM
1

Doesn’t he pursue her a little because he does see through the facade? He can see himself in her, but she won’t admit it (because she can’t see herself very clearly). But then he doesn’t play her games (like at the end.. “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”). Sorry, it’s been a long time since I read that book... such a good one though :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 01:39 AM
2

I’ve been thinking about this today (and actually talked to my husband a little). I think this might be more where the “I can’t” comes in versus “ouch”. When he says “let’s get ice cream” you can respond simply with “I can’t” no other explanation needed. It’s like Laura Doyle says if doing something will cause you to feel resentment- saying I can’t is the best response. My husband’s first thought was that it sounds like your husband doesn’t believe you and that he doubts (or underestimates) the …
/r/RedPillWives01/07/19 01:46 AM
-5

Is he putting dairy or gluten in her food? Is he going out of his way to make her eat things that will make her very ill? No. She does have an option at the burger place and it might be nice to go together and she can have one meal that she isn’t totally crazy about. I didn’t say she needs to shut up and hat he’s right. I’m saying she needs to look out for herself and not expect him to not eat things or go places he would like to appease her. Couldn’t they go to the dairy and he gets ice cream a…
/r/RedPillWives30/06/19 12:25 PM
6

The reality is - I can’t talk to the husband. We are in a group that I thought takes personal responsibility for themselves. If I could talk to him it’s be a different story, but I can’t. So I have to approach it talking to her. She has options - she can leave. Or she can do things herself. Yes, would it be nice to wave a wand and expect him to adjust his eating habits for her or for him to not be disappointed. She can’t do that. So the other option is managing things for herself. If this has be…
/r/RedPillWives30/06/19 12:18 PM
5

Here’s the thing (sorry this will sound harsh) you have to take responsibility for your food allergy yourself. That may mean packing food for yourself so you can eat. And yes, sometimes you might have to eat a burger with no bun & no cheese. If you know you are going to a burger place, bring your own non dairy cheese. Voila, solved. Maybe even bring your own bun? As a test to see if it would help be feel better, I went off of wheat/gluten for a while. I never expected anyone (including my husban…
/r/RedPillWives30/06/19 11:32 AM
2

I fully agree. I’m also Christian and what drew me here is the more traditional ideas of marriage. I don’t consider myself RPW per day. I just think a lot of my personal convictions line up with many of the ideals here to the point that even Christians have suggested divorce or other more mainstream “solutions”. Whereas my desire is to have a marriage that glorifies God first and refines me. But alas, I’ve lost even that in the last couple years. I think I am realizing that I may never had healt…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 11:23 PM
1

Thanks for the suggestions :) . We were both pretty happy for a long time and when things shifted it became my “job” (so I mistakenly believed) to hold everyone together. For a short time I wouldn’t even leave my husband with the kids because I didn’t know if he would even remember they were there (I didn’t think he’d intentionally hurt them- it was more like he would hyper focus on something). I feel almost like I’m waking up again and realizing I still exist as a person outside of him and the …
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 10:55 PM
2

Thanks :). Yes, I love the idea of sitting down and putting this on paper and make something of a plan.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 06:42 PM
5

Thanks :). I’ve got that book on hold with the library! It can be a little scary (even anonymously) to post something like this. I appreciate your comments! I’d love to check in occasionally
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 06:27 PM
7

I would suggest one area that you focus on like a hawk. You mention a whole spectrum of things and it’s hard to work on everything. Perhaps you can discuss the one major area that is the issue (or one small one to start with) and work on that like you are going to the gym. I tend to not like being told what to do. I have a rebellious streak. One thing that I have to constantly remind myself of is that my husband isn’t my enemy. He isn’t asking me to respect him out of spite or out of making me p…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 11:46 AM
3

Much of the advice may have been heard before, but how many times do we hear something a million times and then it finally clicks. This entire forum is advice for marriage and relationships. Like seriously every post this troll or whoever they are could apply that to every thing here. I wouldn’t even bother engaging with them!
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 04:21 PM
45

Great question! I’ve been married 13 years and a few things I wish I had done when I was a newly wed... 1 - pursue your own interests & hobbies & friendships (self-care!!). I just about smothered my poor husband when we were newlyweds. 2 - if you aren’t doing The Empowered Wife structure for finances, definitely look into something like Dave Ramsey’s financial peace university or some other financial education. It’s mostly about being on the same page financially (money problems are a big leader…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 11:54 AM
2

I was never very patient at the end. I was miserable the last month of pregnancy (especially with my larger babies). I did a lot of meditation (I like the hypnobirthing tracts I bought on Amazon and also the Honest Guys on YouTube). And I had an irritable uterus. I had almost constant contractions (like 10 minutes apart) if I wasn’t sitting. I’d just sit with my feet up and have a big glass of ice water with me all the time :). Have you had any prenatal massages? Those also kept me going emotion…
/r/RedPillWives18/06/19 09:55 AM
5

My husband won’t initiate sex. He just won’t. If I go without seeming too eager - he thinks I’m not interested and we won’t have sex for weeks. He says he is giving me space. Of course it may be that our experiences of why we aren’t having sex are a bit different. I rarely initiate because he has turned me down so often. There’s a lot of trust rebuilding for us. For example, I always warn him when I’m on my period. He always says it’s not a big deal. So this one time I thought my period had ende…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 01:08 PM
25

I disagree to a point that if someone resolved their femininity issue they’ll revive a sex life. My husband and I had a great sex life. We started off in our marriage a little rocky (we waited to have sex and then had kids so it took time to figure out). But about 5 years ago we were having sex at least 3 times a week and it was good. Then it started getting less frequent until it became maybe once a month. My husband started dealing with mental heath stuff (stress with buying a new house, work,…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 12:16 PM
31

It’s actually fairly common to hear “my husband won’t let me” around my stay-at-home, homeschooling, Christian mom friends. My husband and I run almost decision by each other before committing to anything, but I hate the “I’m not allowed to” mentality. No, I’m choosing to not do this because my husband doesn’t agree with it and him being happy and us on the same page are far more important.
/r/MensRights13/06/19 03:46 PM
1

Okay, first of all I didn’t read everything word for word because it got to be a bit....much. Have you never felt any attraction for another man (emotionally or physically)? It doesn’t turn off with marriage. We were driving and my husband saw a woman running in short shorts. He said, “when we aren’t having sex, seeing that makes it sooo hard to not be attracted “. He was trying to explain how turned on he is visually. I said “look, I get it doesn’t go away because we are married. But I don’t ne…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 06:06 PM
2

I went down the rabbit hole of /r/feminism and I was glad to see the responses to that post were at least sane.
/r/MensRights07/06/19 10:25 AM
11

Teaching healthy boundaries. Teaching them to love reading and educating themselves How to laugh and find humor in all kinds of situations & to be adaptable. Respect for themselves and others. Faith in God How to “stop and smell the roses” and a respect for nature Logic & critical thinking Letting them explore and even push their boundaries a little (ie things that seem a little scary or dangerous) - like my 2 year old in the pool. She wants to go a little deeper and it sweeps her under. I just …
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 12:18 PM
4

I’m a woman that hates feminism. My mom is borderline, but she’s also has a victim mentality. She will blame everything and everyone else before she takes responsibility for something. She will SAY one thing (if I talk about men’s right for instance or the movie the Red Pill) she’ll agree with me. But if she hears something in the news or anything she jumps right into the old feminist rhetoric.
/r/MensRights02/06/19 11:43 AM
16

Have you read The Empowered Wife (or the surrendered wife)? I’d start there for sure. I’m not crazy about couples counseling because unless you find a really good one they are usually just on the path toward divorce. Why not ask him? The next time he is there ask him if he is OK with sex. Explain you don’t want to manipulate him and you are trying to keep your distance like he is asking. If you suddenly stop initiating without explanation he might wonder what the heck is going on. Focus on self …
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/19 01:58 PM
29

I went through a period where I was the positive one while my husband was struggling with all the responsibilities of having a family, new house, etc (it triggered his OCD big time). After a time it got to me and I burned out. So here is what I would do differently: 1 not feel responsible for his emotions. They are his. I should not have taken his anger, depression, etc personally (unless it was actually something I was responsible for). He is “allowed” to have his own emotions and deal with the…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/19 09:30 PM
10

I’m not sure what religion you are, but I will answer this coming from a Christian woman who takes marriage and divorce very seriously. So it may conflict with typical advice you are getting (and again I don’t know what religion you are coming from - but I understand some of the similarities regarding honoring vows). If you believe he is still a good man somewhere in there and this could just be some sort of “mid life crisis” scenario - I would stand by him. It will be painful and lonely and har…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/19 12:22 AM
1

I did ask him about money and if he felt I needed to bring in more. He isn’t concerned as much about the amount of money we bring in, but rather what we do with it. He doesn’t want complete control of the budget, but he would like it if we made a budget together and I talk to him first before I spend outside of it. So money/finances are definitely a big factor in how he feels toward me right now.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/19 12:39 AM
3

Yes, but you also can’t throw out all logic in the name of a feeling of love. I might fall madly head over heels in love with a man who is immature, irresponsible, etc. then when I get to the point where my spouse and I are - I would be resentful and angry that I can’t count on him anymore...
/r/RedPillWives14/05/19 10:35 PM
1

I guess don’t we all “use “ our partner/spouse/whatever? I have certain expectations- like my husband to not look sexually at other women as though he were single (as in he might see a beautiful woman and admire, but not pursue her). That expectation means I need to be ready to sexually satisfy him and be someone he wants to look at. So is he using me sexually? Am I using him for some sort of gratification to my ego (being the only woman in his life)? If he works all day long am i using him for …
/r/RedPillWives14/05/19 09:23 PM
2

I probably won’t be able to answer your question in it’s entirety (really who can?). But, I’d like to offer some ideas. A mature relationship requires 2 mature people. Unfortunately while I’d love to be caught up in a fairy tale and share my deepest, soul provoking thoughts with my husband all day - we have 4 kids. So the reality is if we are going to survive we need money. So he works (I work a little) and I raise the kids. I need someone I can trust is going to get up Day after day and slay th…
/r/RedPillWives14/05/19 08:52 PM
2

It comes down to being content with you and not waiting for the one perfect person to complete you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/19 12:55 PM
1

I guess some of the difficulties are that my husband and I don’t always see eye to eye. So for instance he and I don’t see the same things as being the issue. He is content with our finances to a point. He seems comfortable about everything- we go over the budget together. So if he is really stressed out about being the provider he isn’t showing it to me. If I sounds concerned (ie I could cancel some of these things) he says it’s fine and not to worry about it. We have backed out of most of the …
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/19 01:17 AM
1

Unfortunately my husband’s mentality is to suck it up... I’m reading closely through all the posts and seeing what I can let go of and change. I actually went through and with my mom’s help got rid of a bunch of clutter (books & board games) I’m not done yet, but my living room already feels more peaceful. Thanks for your honesty BTW - it’s a hard pill to swallow at times, but I appreciate everyone putting so much thought into their responses.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/19 11:34 PM
1

Thank you for your well-thought our response! I actually do go to the gym 3-4 days a week and workout, but until my cardiologist clears me I am not able to workout. As for being attracted to my husband... he hasn’t been too interested in sex for a while (or well he has been interested, but OCD gets in the way and becomes a huge deal). And he tends to push me away emotionally as well. So we basically just talk about very surface level things. The hard part of submitting is that he doesn’t tell me…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/19 12:19 AM
-5

Two of my children are not old enough and one of my sons went to school and failed to thrive so we had to withdraw him (and his entire personality changed in a very negative way). My oldest has profound dyslexia which the school system fails to acknowledge (we went to them for some testing). I don’t believe going to public school would be of any benefit to them. And honestly that is the part my day I actually enjoy. It’s also not just my decision. My husband said before we would send them to sch…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 11:55 PM
12

Has anything on his end changed? Has he started working out more? Diet changes? If it were me... I might say something like, “I don’t know if I can keep up with you!” I agree about not saying no as little as you can. But there is also the “I can’t” factor and self-care (sleep). There is a tactful way to approach it, I’m sure someone who is wiser here may have better words for it than I would.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/19 08:58 PM
1

Some of it, I think is personality type. It comes easier for some people. I did Jordan Peterson’s personality profile and I rank higher in compassion and politeness. So some of it comes more naturally to me. Also going to massage school has probably been the biggest help in who I have become. It taught me to really see the humanity in everyone. I tend to see the best in people and try to see their intentions versus their actions. Obviously this can bite me in the butt because not everyone has th…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 11:20 AM
1

I don’t think this is the ideal - hence why I am asking here. He basically had something akin to a mental breakdown 2 years ago from stress. It fractured something in our relationship and it seems like we can’t get back to how it was. Everything is fraught with emotion and as soon as there is - he puts up a huge wall. I wish it were different.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 10:55 AM
2

I can see what you are saying. In fact you basically summed up my husband. Right now taking about any emotion tends to get him defensive. His response typically is a “get over it” type of attitude. Like you can’t change it (or you aren’t trying hard enough) so get over it. For example we have 4 kids. I homeschool and work. On occasion I get stressed out especially because we have one son that is “special needs” (anxiety, temper, extreme anger). If I bring up that I’m stressed or frustrated he ba…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 04:02 AM
1

Thank you for your thoughts :). I really like John Gottman’s book. My husband isn’t too open to the idea of therapy. I think he takes it as an attack of sorts like I am trying to “fix” him.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 02:42 AM
2

It can be sooo tough because the culture around sex & marriage tends to be that women have the lower sex drive. And every where I would read it was geared toward how to “please your man” type stuff. It got very disheartening. Sheet Music by Kevin leman is such a good book because it actually goes step-by-step through how to bring pleasure to another person (like diagrams and everything). Have you read the Empowered Wife? That can give some great ideas on how to gently approach some of these issu…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 11:04 PM
3

My go to beginners advice is always this: 1 - figure out your why & write it down. There will be tough days where nothing seems to go well - knowing your why helps get through it. Not homeschooling has never been an option for us (for various reasons) and this helps me to remember why! It also can lead your next steps and what type of approach/curriculum you will choose. 2 - there are so many different philosophies and approaches. Figure out what works for both you and your kids. I am more eclec…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 01:59 PM
3

Yes! I second seeing a physician . Often it can be related to low testosterone.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 02:37 AM
1

Sorry also wanted to add the books Kosher Love, Kosher Lust, And the Kosher Sutra - all by Rabbi Boteach
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 02:26 AM
23

Okay - I actually disagree with the idea of sexual compatibility. The reason being is that it shifts so often during our lives and ebbs and flows. For the first few year my husband could have had sex 3 times a day. Once I orgasm I was good for a couple days to a week. It caused issues, but we dealt with it. Now it has shifted. I would love sex daily, my husband is good once or twice a week (for a while it was maybe once a month on his part - so we are making progress!). It tends to be a loophole…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 02:17 AM
1

Not sure... I really have no interest and math isn’t my strong point lol. We do Dave Ramsey’s plan and we are more conservative with investing.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 02:07 AM
15

I’m a sort of stay at home mom. I went to massage school several years ago and I work something like 10 hours a week outside the home. I also homeschool my 4 kids. I love learning and realizing so many things I missed or didn’t understand in school has been eye opening. I don’t know too many SAHMs that are ditzy or stupid. Most that I know run their own businesses from home.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 12:07 AM
–

I made loaded nachos for dinner. I’ve been sick and needed something easy. Browned som ground beef with taco seasoning. Layered Doritos with corn (frozen), seasoned black beans (canned), cheddar cheese, salsa, and the ground beef. Stick in oven for 10-15 minutes (recipe said 7-10, but the corn was partially frozen still) at 400 degrees. Serve with guacamole & sour cream & lettuce if so desired :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/19 11:35 PM
54

My husband works for a rubber company - they do hydraulic hoses, conveyor belts for mines, etc. the warehouse is a huge building. It’s too expensive to heat or cool. And of course they work outside in almost any conditions. They’ll go in the office where the ladies are complaining about how cold it is at their desk as they turn up the heat in the office. My husband just sort of shakes his head and laughs. He spends most of the winter freezing his ass off even in multiple layers. There are no wom…
/r/MensRights25/04/19 06:21 PM
2

This has been difficult for me also. For a long time I really didn’t care, but as I’ve gotten older I feel frustrated when I can’t get my point across. Being clear and concise in my speech has been helpful. Instead of quietly hemming and hawing - I speak clearly and say “this is what I need”. I am now a massage therapist and have to be very clear in my directions and I have to lead the conversation with my clients - so just practicing and watching other people with their clients helped a lot. I …
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/19 06:36 PM
5

I am actually in charge of finance now. When we first married I was bad with money and overspent a lot. We went through Dave Ramsey’s class and decided to follow that. We paid off our debt together, but we were not great with staying on budget (post parting depression didn’t help among other things). When we started saving for a down payment for the house I downloaded mint and made a budget that I really stuck to. And so my husband asked that I would take over the budget. So we make a monthly bu…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 02:23 AM
23

My husband expresses emotions much differently than I do. It isn’t that he is “shut down” it just looks very different. For instance I may cry because I am frustrated and he cusses up a storm lol. He also doesn’t understand why I would want to spend time wallowing when I could just do something to change the circumstances around me. A few suggestions coming from this point of view - accept what he can and does give. If you want a girlfriend and someone whose shoulder you can cry on - you need to…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 03:46 PM
1

I’d say there’s either a lack of self awareness - there’s something there that you aren’t seeing. Or something is going on with your husband and your relationship. So the only solution because I am not speaking to him but I am talking to you - is to take care of you. Have you read The Empowered Wife? A lot of things that we think are loving are really not - they even come across as disrespectful. Present these issues to your husband in a way that allows him to solve it. Obviously the way you han…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 07:09 PM
1

I also wanted to ask - number one - how in the world do you do all of that without being totally burned out. Something will give and it sounds like something is breaking (your relationship). How much are you doing that should be on your husband’s page, but you do it anyway in the name of submission. Being a surrendered wife or even submission does not mean door mat either. How much are you enabling his behavior in the name of “being a good wife”. Because there is no way on the planet you are - i…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 06:44 PM
1

I would really put self care up there. In reality you can’t do anything to make him change unfortunately. I am reading a lot about giving him love but are you being respectful?
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 06:31 PM
2

MOPs is mothers of preschoolers. It is a Christian program so it is usually held in a church.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 06:20 PM
3

What I have noticed is men tend to put themselves into something like work or gaming if there isn’t really a place for them at home. It could be a genuine addiction, but more than likely it’s him putting up a wall because he’s not been respected or he has been hurt. I would put a lot of time into self care so you don’t feel “neglected”. Pursue your own hobbies. And make sure he feels respected. You mentioned you tell him what to do and he won’t listen because he is gaming- right there is a huge …
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 03:30 PM
15

I have 4 kids. Up until two years ago I stayed at home entirely (I work as a massage therapist a few days a week). If anyone were to ask me for advice on being a stay at home mom it would be this: 1 go through Dave Ramsey’s financial class. Yes, I know it’s religious and he’s very against debt - so it rubs some people the wrong way. But getting your financial house in order is so important. 2 self care...self care.... self care.... what brings you energy and joy and what depletes you? Do as much…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 12:01 PM
8

But women’s issues are the only ones I ever hear about. When they mention school rates - they only mention girls. They don’t mention the boys that don’t finish school. There is a unbalanced approach to the media reporting things. The issues that men face are never, ever approached.
/r/MensRights05/04/19 09:26 PM
7

Karen Straughn’s take Just because roles are different does not mean one side is being oppressed by the other. They are either coming to an agreement to have those roles set OR they are both being oppressed by an outside force. In my cursory search for back up i wasn’t able to find the interview or podcast where Karen Straughn (I believe) talked about the roles of the man in these societies being just as binding/oppressive as they are for women. But if you go in an upset the balance you “free” t…
/r/MensRights05/04/19 09:18 PM
3

I made the mistake of reading the comments... ugh
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 09:47 PM
6

We tend to see all of the bad in our spouses especially when marriage isn’t all fairy tale like. I have noticed (anecdotally and in lots of books) then men just want to be themselves and they are OK with who they married. But women like to “work on the relationship” constantly. And we as women just don’t understand the concept of respect the way men see it. So we disrespect our husbands and we feel unloved as a result because they pull away. And so we push and push even more and can’t understand…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 09:46 PM
4

There are a few issues at hand. What stopped you from moving out 3 months in when you were unhappy then? That’s my major question. You finally wait and wait and wait and grow resentful and possible nagging and he is caught between his sister and his girlfriend. And you finally get fed up enough to walk. Which you probably need to do at this point (like everyone else is saying here).
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 08:55 PM
2

Look - it’s up to you. He doesn’t sound like captain material to me. If he is good with money and his parents make him unhappy why doesn’t he move? That doesn’t make sense... that would solve a whole host of issues surrounding sex - unless that is an easy excuse and if he moves out he’d have to face the reality. My husband’s sex drive dropped off the charts because he was very stressed out. It was a source of contention between us and he was afraidI was going to cheat (I would never! But he unde…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 04:39 PM
10

He’s 28 and still lives with his parents ? What’s the story there? This isn’t just a “he wants it less often than me” there are a whole host of issues - you don’t ever orgasm, it’s monthly maybe.... if you are absolutely committed to this and he’s willing to work on - he should have testosterone levels checked... but all in all what you’ve said sounds like a situation ripe for resentment. If it was just a matter of drive difference I’d say sure work on lowering your libido. There’s a reason you …
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 03:18 PM
3

We always sort of stressed that mom and dad play differently. Dad wrestles with the boys (since we have 4 kids I have been pretty much pregnant or nursing for forever so it was GREAT to teach boundaries). I trust my husband with the kids and I know he would never push things too far. If I got uncomfortable I’d leave the area. I would explain to the boys since I was nursing it was uncomfortable and to watch where they put elbows and hands. My husband is awesome with wrestling and now that they ar…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 04:36 PM
14

Start prep in the morning when you’re making breakfast - browning meat, cutting veggies, etc If you need browned ground beef for more than one meal that week - brown up a bunch. Some things like burgers & meatloaf you can shape & season and stick in the freezer. Take out the night before and they are ready to cook (if you don’t cook meatloaf in a pan - shape it yourself & cook on a cookie sheet it cooks a lot faster). Use frozen veggies (like onions & peppers mix or spinach) if a recipe calls fo…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/19 04:44 PM
82

Most women do not understand the power they yield within relationships. Obviously nothing is one sided, but man... if we actually knew what we were capable of! It’s why The Empowered Wife works. It’s like what Dr Laura says - treat him right and he will swim shark infested water to bring you lemonade. But instead it’s “he isn’t meeting my needs” and “but this makes me uncomfortable “ and “it’s not fair”. If she stopped nagging and showed respect - as long as he is a good man - I could almost gua…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 02:11 AM
24

That’s basically what moms do to each other...it sucks. I don’t post too many pictures on social media for this reason. Everything will be wrong no matter what... it almost more an outrage thing over feminism? If your kids are barefoot in a picture outside — “oh my god that so unhealthy they need to be wearing shoes!!” Then someone else chimes in “no, they shouldn’t...in fact they aren’t barefoot enough!!” You want your kids to be more self sufficient and walk to the park by themselves! You get …
/r/MensRights19/03/19 02:55 PM
2

My first thought was he needs to not watch porn. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and it is far from boring so it isn’t a time together issue. But hearing that he blames everything on you seems very odd. If communication was open - asking what he would like to do differently would be a great start. Finding out likes and dislikes and so forth. Maybe reading some books together? If it seems clumsy every time it seems like some basics need to be covered (Sheet Music is a good one, but written…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/19 01:26 AM
16

Some things have helped me are: I figured out what strengths I have and what areas I wanted to work on. It’s easy to focus on all the bad things and forget the things you do have to offer. And use your strengths to your advantage. Don’t try to change everything in your life at once. Find one specific thing you’d like to see different (for example how you react when you are hangry). And decide how you would rather see yourself reacting. And start working on it. Have someone you trust that you can…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/19 11:31 AM
4

Make sure self care is top on your list of things to implement!!
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 06:29 PM
6

How long have you been implementing the keys in the Surrendered Wife (or the Empowered Wife?) A lot of women want to see instant change instead of seeing the hurt they have cause in their husband. After they have beat their husband down emotionally and mentally they expect him to change the moment they have their epiphany. It doesn’t happen like that. You have to regain his trust. You have to show that you are worth trusting and putting his emotions out to you again.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:49 PM
7

First of all - make a list of what absolutely has to get done on a regular basis (like food because no one should starve). Secondly, how can you make the things you HAVE to do easier? Can you use paper plates for a while? Can you order groceries online and pick them up or have them delivered? I had such bad morning sickness with baby 3 I couldn’t cook anything that had a smell. So breakfast and lunch were cereal, fruit, yogurt, sandwiches, chips, juice. Thirdly, do you have any family or friends…
/r/RedPillWives14/03/19 06:45 PM
2

A big part of the whole being smart - issue is not coming off as a know it all. I consider myself to be fairly smart (not bragging... I read a lot and o love learning). If I start correcting my husband on everything - he starts to get really upset (for a very good reason!!). For example, last night we were watching the British baking show. They were doing a technique that he thought was wrong. Mind you - neither of us are bakers... he just said it seemed wrong. My tendency is to go figure it out…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/19 11:29 AM
3

I don’t understand the downvote. I thought we were in RPW where we submit to our captains?
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/19 01:47 PM
6

I too am working on this!! A few things I am doing - having some sort of a routine (I have a FlyLady inspired binder with all of my routines in it) - meal planning... right now I like buildamenu.com I get to have a variety of meals, but without the extra work involved - we are getting a new bread machine! I’m really excited to be able to have fresh bread on the regular & I think it will make the house smell wonderful - plants - I have always had a brown thumb (almost everything I grow dies)... b…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/19 12:58 AM
4

https://www.socalcurls.com/ that’s what I bought. I don’t heat it since I don’t have a microwave - so technically I could probably use a bandana or headband?
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/19 12:45 AM
4

I don’t do my nails because of my job. Although my husband expressed he does like red polish now and then. So if it’s a date I will do my nails. Someone here mentioned they have a curl wrap thing - so that is how I do my hair daily. When I wake up I put it in my hair. I love it because it looks cute while it’s in and keeps my hair up out of my face. But 30 minutes before my husband comes in I put some lipgloss on and take my hair down and I look cute :) . I try to put on at least some foundation…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/19 04:16 PM
12

As for hair - since you have wavy hair check out r/curlyhair for tips!
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/19 10:40 AM
5

We did! About oh... 9 years ago? We paid off somewhere around $30,000 in debt (mostly a truck which we sold). And bought a house with no credit score :)
/r/RedPillWives11/03/19 12:08 AM
18

We personally follow Dave Ramsey’s plan. That includes a monthly budget meeting where we go over our goals, what we need to purchase in the upcoming month, etc. I had hoped to pass the money over to my husband, but this is what he prefers.
/r/RedPillWives10/03/19 11:54 PM
–

My husband and I agreed to stick to some “rules” for our relationship. Long story short... he heard Jordan Peterson say when you have a problem to set aside time to work on it, but otherwise try not to focus on it. So we came up with some rules as an extension (no texting about relationship stuff, no talking about relationship after 10 pm, etc). It has been really paying off. We have not been fighting like we were and problem solving together. I am really thankful for that.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/19 07:33 PM
17

You haven’t been around these part long, have you!
/r/MensRights09/03/19 03:27 PM
7

Look into Dr Laura. She’s feminine (she has a jewelry line even), but she’s very athletic. She leads a sailing team of much younger guys! She’s incredibly fit and strong. But again, she’s still very feminine!
/r/RedPillWives07/03/19 10:49 PM
4

That’s what happens in a LTR. You have moments of being not that into it but doing it because you love your SO. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and through 4 kids. Any sexual issue there could be... we’ve probably been through it. It’s rare when we both are turned on, awake enough, and interested at the same time (or that happens and my period is really heavy or a kid starts throwing up or I don’t know...). Honestly at this point we are basically scheduling sex because I am a morning pers…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/19 09:13 PM
19

The “right” amount of sex in a relationship is always whatever both people are happy with. That being said - try not to read too much into his facial expression. My trying to read my husband’s mind has gotten me into trouble waaayyy more times than I can count.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/19 07:39 PM
5

Lol. I just recently started sleeping through the night (my 5 & 2 years old girls finally sleep all night). But in order to get up early I end up taking a nap when my 2 year old does and going to bed around 9:30. So glamorous I know lol
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/19 04:17 PM
42

I got up at 5 at went to the gym! I’m really proud of myself as I have been working on getting up earlier and sticking to a routine. I’ve been going to the gym a few times a week for the last 3 weeks or so. Probably the most consistent I have ever been with it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/19 03:57 PM
31

No. You aren’t overreacting. He sounds like a child and someone who needs to get his act together before he is dating someone seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/19 06:59 PM
1

I love the books Kosher Sutra and Kosher Lust by Rabbi Boteach. Totally and completely changed my view of sex as a woman. He talks about how women are very sexual, but then why is the old trope about men being more sexual always around. He can explain it so much better... and it is sooo good. That being said, stress, hormones, relationship issues... can all lead to low libido. Talking to a good gyno that will check everything for you is a good start. The other thing is that relationship have ups…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/19 12:26 AM
4

First off you sound a little bit not-picky (with things like the sleep schedule & the food preferences). That is a sure sign of resentment. My husband and I had a similar vision of our life together (kids, me being a SAHM, buying a house, hopefully buying out in the country one day). Those are choices we made together. I wouldn’t have wanted to marry someone with a vastly different vision (someone who is child free for instance or a vegan or wants to live in the middle of a huge city). Can you s…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 01:52 AM
4

They didn’t mind in the least. We had room outdoors. They didn’t have any issues with it. They were actually really upset when we moved. We kept explaining we would have more space and they said hey didn’t care. They wanted their home :(. My mom grew up in a one ROOM house that her father built (they weren’t there a very long time, but she remembers it). I’d rather be in a tiny condo and be able to stay home than live anywhere else but have to put my kids in daycare. I got to be a part of their …
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 08:27 PM
41

We made a ton of sacrifices for me to stay at home with the kids. I now work out of the home just a couple days a week (like tonight I have to give a massage at 5pm - I’ll be home by 7:30). That gives us some “play” money. Personally I think we make it seem like we need two incomes. My grandparents had only one car, no cable or internet bills, smaller house... Our home prior to this one (that after 12 years of marriage we were finally able to get!) was 700 sq feet... with 4 kids. We have two pai…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 05:20 PM
9

I think if you are loving with any expectations that leads to resentment. You have to either pull back on your expressions of affection or up the self care so you dont feel resentment toward him.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 10:19 PM
3

This is something I have always struggled with... 2 things have helped me the book How To Manage Your Home and Not Lose Your Mind and Flylady’s website. I need simple - so I am always decluttering and I can’t have any sort of trinkets...
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 09:24 PM
6

Thanks. I ended up texting him (after some of the comments here). That I appreciate how level headed he is in a crisis and that I think in the end he made a good choice (the other urgent care had a 4-6 hour wait). He seemed really appreciative of me saying that - so I think it’s water under the bridge.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 01:23 AM
2

I did explain to him the his pediatrician prefers the children’s urgent care.. he kept saying it was cheaper and it was just stitches. I said I didn’t like previous care we received at the regular urgent care. That’s the point I deferred to his opinion. I told him I explained myself and he knew my preferences about where we went. And at that point I was letting him choose.... I feel like if I kept arguing the point he would have felt I was being pushy...
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 11:51 PM
2

I’m not new. We are just in a healing process within our marriage (you can see me other posts :-) ). He got pretty upset when I said I preferred the Children’s Urgent Care (because they are easily $1200 for a couple of stitches and a much longer wait). So he felt that any regular urgent care can do the same thing for much less expensive. So I told him that I was fine with doing it that way and if that’s what he prefers I understood why and that I trusted his judgment on it. He was also wondering…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 10:01 PM
2

I have had not great sleepers. And I always forgot everything between babies lol. But yes, they all had their own separate issues. We never did cry it out - and I like her method much better (she does a nice medium between cry it out and attachment parenting - where you bed share and never ever let them cry).
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 07:20 PM
5

I like the baby book by dr Sears for basic baby care. The baby whisperer is an absolutely priceless resource (I had 4 kids and used it as a sleep reference for each one).
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 05:49 PM
9

I think people get hung up on labels. I’ve been more traditionally inclined when I got married. Unfortunately I didn’t have great role models and I wasn’t good a submitting. But i never considered myself a feminist. My husband hates any and all labels so he wouldn’t say that he is “red pill “. He is just him :). I found this subreddit more out being curious from the movie “Red Pill”. But I had already been reading The Empowered Wife and read Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands a long time ago. I…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 03:58 PM
18

Long story short ... I married my brother-in-law’s brother :-)
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/19 01:50 PM
4

She doesn’t undermine him - he allows her to. My mother in law wouldn’t come to our wedding unless it was Catholic. My husband quietly stood up to her & he made the choice to get married without her there at our wedding. That all isn’t to brag or something, but to show it is his choice to be dragged into the mess. There isn’t much you can do but tolerate it (it may never change) or let him go if it’s a deal breaker. Personally it is his responsibility to make sure his mom treats you respectfully…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 03:52 PM
5

Personally I would read The Empowered Wife and the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (If this is a serious relationship) and do those things. I think it will naturally bring out the leader in him.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 03:29 PM
3

Lol. I promise I know how you feel. I have 4 kids. My 5 year old literally just started sleeping through the night in the last 3 months or so. My 2 year old will still every so often wake. I feel like a different person now that I sleep again. I hated when every book I read was “sleep more”. I’m like..yeah, right. This stage passes with a newborn :). You sound like a strong woman. You are doing awesome! I wanted to add - if you even need someone to talk to - feel free to message me! Not sure whe…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 10:49 AM
20

Music, a tall drink of water, 5 minute meditation/breathing exercise, putting on lipstick, saying 5-10 specific things you are grateful for, taking a 5-10 minute walk (being mindful - no music or “to do lists running on your head- listen to what’s around you or say a prayer), a change of clothes (out of pjs or into pjs lol), mindfully eating a few pieces of chocolate, a motivational YouTube video, dancing & or singing, stretching, lighting a candle or smelling some lotion or essential oils... an…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 01:50 AM
3

I used to be much better, but life happened and I lost myself :(. Thankful to be coming back to basics and seeing some peace in my home again.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 01:12 AM
3

Huh?
/r/MensRights18/02/19 10:16 PM
7

It’s almost like people are unaware of history and act like there have never been women in power.
/r/MensRights18/02/19 10:09 PM
6

We had done it years ago and just gradually it faded out. We both have complained of feeling rushed all the time and not having enough time to just hang out and enjoy our family time. I highly recommend it :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/19 10:04 PM
4

Personally, I wouldn’t apologize. I would start making changes then apologize. That way he can see it isn’t just words.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/19 08:51 PM
5

I haven’t had a chance to read everything, but here goes my thoughts. I’ve had 4 kids. We never waited the 6 weeks (I never had any major tears or anything - so be mindful everyone’s healting is different). The first week or so you will be in PMS on steroids - and those 9 month you had a break from your period? Yeah- that happens all in one week. And I cried nearly non stop and my milk was coming in and I was sweating like crazy... yeah I was a hot mess. And all those wonderful pregnancy hormone…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/19 12:49 AM
2

Lol. I just texting this idea to my husband just before I saw this
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/19 07:49 PM
1

Ok I have 4 kids- and there are things that annoy the crap out of me and my commenting on that doesn’t mean I want to get rid of one of them. I am working on training a few different things with our dog- one of which is the annoying habit of jumping on my legs (she’s little so she only reaches my knees or so). My being irritated by the dog every once in a while doesn’t mean I want to get rid of her.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/19 01:39 PM
1

I love our dog. I am frustrated because she is like refusing to be housebroken. I’ve lurked on all the dog training subreddits I can find and done all of the advice given. She had very wet paws because it has been pouring rain and I just brought her in- so she was tethered in the kitchen with us while we were trying to do other things jumping all over us with wet paws. My husband is particular about anything in his personal space at the moment - especially in the mornings (part of our underlying…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/19 01:34 PM
1

I don’t even think it’s that one of us is the smarter one (or if that matters). It’s seeing that he is capable of doing things himself. And I don’t need to spend my energy on making sure he knows how to do things right... it’s the application that is hard ;). And I’d say that true in most marriages and it goes both ways...
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 08:52 PM
1

Thanks - I’m well aware that I have to do it myself. It’s nice to have a sounding board of like minded women. Most “relationship advice” steers more toward us talking about the whole thing and coming to a compromise. And honestly, I didn’t say anything particularly passive aggressive- it just wasn’t a necessary thing to say to him. I just notice it is a struggle for me to catch the words before they come out and I almost always regret it...
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 08:50 PM
1

Where we are right now is like a severe allergic reaction...it’s like every little thing provokes a reaction and I am trying to not let it leave my mouth before I’ve had a second to think. And right now it has been a two way street which makes it harder! It’s like “what did you mean by that sigh? Or that look or that tone of voice”. And we both realize there is some resentment toward each other right now. We had a decent conversation the other night about it. So most of the “reaction” is from th…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 07:50 PM
1

Well I didn’t outwardly blame my husband. As I realize it comes across as me blaming him by the way I reacted. I realize it’s my shortcoming. It’s been basically the dialogue between us for months upon months. He tends to also be short with me - obviously I can’t change him which is where I am here asking the question. I am trying to keep my mouth shut when I really don’t need to say anything.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 07:23 PM
3

Ouch... and true
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 06:28 PM
2

I loved his confidence and calm demeanor. The shows where the husband is freaking out when his wife is in labor? Not him at all. He drove us slowly and deliberately to the hospital keeping ME calm. I love seeing him in his work clothes because he looks so manly and his whole persona just glows with confidence - like he’s got this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 05:53 PM
2

It fits a very different narrative then the standard relationship advice. Proper Care and Feedingof Husbands is very similar. I have not personally read the one you mentioned so I can comment to that :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 05:51 PM
7

I like the 30 days. Because he absolutely is not an asshole and I know it will help. Thanks for the idea :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 04:16 PM
9

Hmm, good point and we actually had this conversation the other night.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 04:07 PM
6

Yes, which is where I see I am going off the rails. It isn’t so much acknowledging that... but more the practical, hands-on, down and dirty application where the whole thing gets lost on me. And I realize it AFTER... hence the post :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 04:06 PM
3

Yes. I’ve read it several times over the years. It has made difference in my marriage. I often need a refresher and I go back and reread parts.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 04:04 PM
2

Yes ;). That’s what brought me here.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 02:54 PM
11

Honestly,I just want things back to the way they were... where we both could shrug off stupid little things with a smile and joke. Now it seems it’s like we both are hyper aware and “triggered “ by everything. As I was thinking about it more this morning. I realized I really just want to micromanage his emotions. Like if he is upset - it’s with me or it just disrupts my vibe. When in reality I logically know that’s it’s his own thing to deal with. Because now - I don’t even care. In fact I’ve go…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/19 02:52 PM
16

I love (and respect) my husband unconditionally. I don’t like him unconditionally (and vice versus). We are going through a rough patch. It is sometimes really hard to be around each other and we are working through it. There are some days I just dislike him and I know for certain he feels the same way. The biggest (but not only) reason I’m fighting for us to stay alive as a couple is because I love him. Plain and simple... I don’t want anyone else even with everything we’ve been through togethe…
/r/MensRights11/02/19 11:08 PM
3

As a woman on the opposite side of this - it gets to be very difficult to be understanding. We have had issues around sex for close to 2 years. He was very stressed out and I left sex alone even though I wanted it. Then it became a seriously difficult topic for us. He would say that he was (is) trying and I need to just be OK with what we have. It’s become a huge point of contention. Is there a level of understanding? Some... but hearing no constantly hurts so deeply. All I wanted has been for h…
/r/RedPillWives11/02/19 02:05 AM
1

My 8 year old was in school for half a semester (like I said we homeschool)... he was the ideal student. But because all of his energy was pent up all day - him in the evenings (and having so do homework after a 7-8 hour school day) was like a bomb going off. So we ended up pulling him and homeschooling. Now my boys (and daughter) so school standing up, jumping, tossing a ball back and forth... and we get done in a matter of 2-3 hours. He is at a 5-6 grade reading level now.
/r/MensRights28/01/19 08:51 PM
1

Thanks for all the info :). I’m in America and thinking of how are school system typically looks especially when students fall behind their peers. They either get passed along without actually doing the work necessary or dropping out or who knows...
/r/MensRights28/01/19 08:47 PM
7

I was thinking more of angry teenage boys with no direction and no one to guide them. Even boys that go into trades need someone to help them get into them (parents or teachers). Obviously at a certain point one has to be responsible for themselves, but it’s much harder when you don’t have someone to help you when you fall behind.
/r/MensRights28/01/19 05:13 PM
30

My heart breaks for these boys. Really all they are doing in reinforcing exactly what they are trying to get rid of... “toxic masculinity “ ugh I hate even typing that. What do you do think happens with a bunch of boys when they are failing and fall behind? It pisses me off really. We’ve chosen to homeschool and I am more and more happy we have.
/r/MensRights28/01/19 01:30 PM
4

When I walk the dog in the morning I warm up the car and if there is snow or ice I will clear it off (the car is already warmed up so I can just brush it all off). I also like to make him a cup of coffee to bring to work.
/r/RedPillWives26/01/19 01:00 PM
1

This is a tough call for me. On one hand I absolutely agree it’s his baby and he should have the opportunity to watch the birth. However, I have heard of some women absolutely against having their husbands see them that way (maybe they won’t be sexually attracted to them anymore or be grossed out..). My husband said if I hadn’t wanted him in there he’d be just fine with it - didn’t matter either way (which kinda hurt because I really wanted him there!!). Anyway. There’s pooping and blood and scr…
/r/MensRights25/01/19 01:52 AM
14

Ugh this pisses me off. I imagine he was strong enough to push her away - but imagine what consequences he would get for “abusing” her.
/r/MensRights20/01/19 05:10 PM
1

Thanks :). This was so incredibly helpful. I’m saving it and rereading.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 07:19 PM
8

I’ve been meaning to ask about this. And this popped up and so perfect timing!! I do consider my husband a friend IN THAT we confide in each other and ask for advice on life choices (or even just little things like, say a situation at work or family) and discuss our emotions in depth. However, we have grown apart to a point where we don’t anymore . He says maybe that wasn’t a healthy situation because it would almost feel like there wasn’t privacy or personal space. But I feel like I am mourning…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 01:22 AM
4

If you aren’t on /r/curlyhair yet you should check it out!! I am terrible at any elaborate hairstyles, but there are some really cute ponytails that look way more complicated than they actually are. That might be a good place to look
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 11:15 PM
5

Yeah, since he does 95% of the driving (he likes to joke “it’s the man’s job”, but I hate driving) I usually ask at the start if he needs directions on GPS. I’m usually in charge of putting that in. In he case where he just looks totally lost I may ask if he’d like me to pull up the map for him. Otherwise, I just enjoy the ride and be thankful I am not the one driving:) .
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 05:51 PM
2

Obviously it depends on your relationship and your individual personalities. My husband tends to be the better driver and was probably intending to turn anyway or he knew a better route. So that for him tends to come across more like nagging (also driving has been a sensitive issue since I used to be a horrible “backseat” driver). If he doesn’t find that disrespectful — awesome! There’s a reason the old joke about the man stopping to ask for directions still gets laughs. It tends to be more of a…
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 05:48 PM
5

Myself personally - I don’t look at it as redpilled. We are more traditional in our thinking (conservative Christians here) so that is where it stems from for me. I actually find some advice here to lean more toward feminism and away from so called “redpill”. Personally traditional gender roles make sense to me and I understand why they’ve lasted for so long. I was this way before I ever became aware of the idea of redpill vs bluepill. So I totally understand the confusion :). I suppose there is…
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 05:30 PM
2

First of all - congratulations!! I have 4 kids - so anything you want to know - ask!! First of all, find a doctor you really trust. I regret going with my first doctor out of convenience. She was set on me having a c-section right away (I was hoping for a natural birth). She treated my husband and I like children. When she said we needed to induced she said “its that or a dead baby” but proceeded to give us 3 days of options for induction. So she wasn’t in THAT much of a hurry! I did have a c se…
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 05:16 PM
7

Men are the provider & protector. They are the leaders in the home. If there is a decision to be made - my husband makes the final choice. He will hear my side of it (often not always if it either doesn’t concern me or if it needs to be made quickly). I, then, to the beat of my ability follow that lead. If I don’t agree, I don’t belittle him or make him feel stupid for it (same goes for if he made the wrong decision). I’m the nurturer in our home. I take care of almost all the housework (he does…
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 05:03 PM
17

A lot of what women consider helpful (and even another woman would appreciate) is actually considered very disrespectful by men. So if I were driving with my sister and said “oh you need to turn soon”. She would say “thanks” even if she already knew it and she would probably take it as my watching out for her (and the same if she did that to me or even if my husband did that for me I would be appreciative). Now put my husband (or any husband really) in the drivers seat. And he doesn’t hear me be…
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 04:20 PM
10

I would say the biggest difference is accepting the “stereotypical” gender roles. Most marriage advice is “communication” and splitting things evenly. Whereas red pill advice is more on embracing your femininity and supporting your captain’s masculinity. Going on Laura Doyle’s book it goes as far to say to not look to your husband to meet you emotional needs but to focus on taking care of yourself and supporting your husband. Bluepill would be more along the lines of meeting each other’s needs a…
/r/RedPillWives23/12/18 04:12 PM
2

Sorry I’m writing another comment... I like to reread the original post to make sure I didn’t miss something and oops I did!! You don’t know what motivates your husband... if he is like most men the things that will motivate him are as follows - respect first and foremost he needs to know that you respect him unconditionally. And saying “I respect you” does not have any umph to it. Show him you respect him (and curb and disrespectful behaviors starting NOW). Second - providing for & protecting h…
/r/RedPillWives22/12/18 12:27 AM
6

My husband likes when I just sit with him while he plays video games :). He say, “can you read next to me?” So the proximity is nice. Do you listen to Mark Gungor? He talks a lot about the nothing box. And great minds think alike LOL
/r/RedPillWives22/12/18 12:16 AM
14

Have you read Laura Doyle’s book? If not that is your first step. Then read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husband’s. Love, at the end of the day, is a choice. Is he a good man? If yes, then choose to love him. We have 4 kids and let me tell you I don’t always feel loving toward my husband. We don’t sleep much, we don’t get to “date” much. How to express love (and more importantly RESPECT for men) so that you can “feel” loving.... Keep a gratitude journal of your husband - write down specific th…
/r/RedPillWives21/12/18 11:42 PM
2

I love our co op!! There’s a church near us that allows us to use their building. There’s about 90 families that participate. It’s so much fun.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 05:11 PM
5

I homeschool 4 kiddos - it can be exhausting, but we do more of an unschooling/electic structure. It’s a Christian book, but Teaching from Rest is so so so good. I don’t even homeschool until 6 years old/first grade - and we do a limited school day (1 hour tops). If you’d like to talk more about it - feel free to message me :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 12:22 AM
3

We homeschool. A foundation at home, I believe, is vital. We are teaching our kids to think for themselves and analyze things. When they are really young they can’t sort out the time in school vs home (values-wise). There are a lot of not-overt teaching (biases in curriculum, language used, etc) that can shape a worldview. We don’t live in fear of all this and obviously we have our own world views (which we encourage our kids to evaluate and debate). So asking, “what did you learn” doesn’t encom…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 12:17 AM
3

We have 2 boys and 2 girls. How can I sum what what & how we are raising them? Well, I’ll try anyway :). First off - we are fairly conservative (in some aspects not in all) Christian family. So a lot of our values are derived from that. We have a pretty traditional marriage - my husband works, I mostly stay at home (I have a very part time job as a massage therapist). I homeschool the kids. Our goal is raising well- rounded, kind, respectful, thoughtful, logical kids. We do a lot of debating in …
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 03:28 AM
1

I read trough some of it - looks great. I was trying to reply to the other comment who was disagreeing with the simplicity of you original post :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/18 12:56 AM
5

I think my husband would agree that men are simple to figure out. Really - following these things aren’t a matter of “only 3 things”. To give sincere compliments you need to be observant and kind and know what will puff up your husband’s chest. That is different things for different people. It also means putting aside petty differences and not nagging him - that is much deeper than one point. And it seems incredibly simple (it is - just may not be EASY). You can break down each point in similar …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 06:45 PM
1

Fortunately it doesn’t cost much (the price of a basal thermometer & printing charts). I did it before all the apps so I like the old school paper and pencil version :). You may even be able to get the book at the library!
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 08:17 PM
1

Thanks :). I’ve tried those. Unfortunately I’ve got some pelvic floor weakness I’m working on and stuff like that doesn’t stay in the right place (tampons included)
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 11:31 AM
9

Are you on hormonal birth control? If not - check out the book Take Charge of Your Fertility. If you track your temps it may show some interesting insights :). Plus I’m a nerd an like all that stuff
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 12:21 AM
60

Very often - women don’t get into the mood until they actually start having sex. There have been plenty of times where that has happened to me. I try very hard to not say no (having my period, being sick, or being very tired - like haven’t slept for 3 nights because of sick kids tired). I can at the very least give an enthusiastic blow job. Sex is like the glue in marriage. And like love it can cover a multitude of transgressions :). We both feel more content with each other for sure. I also LOV…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 10:56 PM
1

There sounds like there are a lot of things going on. First of all, you are not responsible for his emotions. You are not responsible for calming him down or managing his emotions. If he threatens to harm himself - take it seriously and say “the next time you threaten that I will call the police because that is a serious threat”. And do it. Being a surrendered wife is NOT being a doormat. On the same vein, do not threaten to move out or leave unless you are actually going to do it. My husband te…
/r/RedPillWives12/12/18 03:29 PM
2

I love the book Wild at Heart (and Way of the Wild Heart). They are deeply Christian so not for everyone - but he talks about he masculine heart. Femininity can’t create masculinity - a woman can’t teach a man how to be a man. That ideally a role for his father, but that isn’t always available. I can assist my husband, maybe point out something if I see it clearly and he can’t (vice versa). And with our sons I can’t teach them to be men. That is my husband’s responsibility. Obviously I have a di…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 12:56 PM
3

So my understanding of the book is this In this situation you need tons of self care. Like over the top especially with a baby on top of everything else. That is number one Number two- she talks about this type of thing escalating because you changed the rules of the game. You stopped, but he didn’t. Is he a good man ? Was he a good man? You married him for a reason he is still in there! This is the script you had - arguing or whatever. And you changed that - so he is trying to get you back into…
/r/RedPillWives11/12/18 11:02 PM
6

We read a book called Hedges back when we were fist married. He talks about putting a hedge around your marriage to protect it (when the hard times come). So we choose to not have close friendships with people of the opposite sex. We actually had an agreement to not be alone with people of the opposite sex, but our relationship has evolved and I’m a massage therapist (I’m routinely in a room with members of the male persuasion). So it still stands that we don’t do things like sharing overly pers…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 12:00 AM
2

I seriously recommend getting a facial from a really good esthetician! I used to work at a spa (I’m a massage therapist) and that was the first time I had a facial. They were able to help me figure out my skin type and what types of products would help the most. I have fairly “normal” skin (not dry or oily, not prone to blemishes). I wash my face once a day with right now Black African Soap cleanser (bought it for my curly hair but started using it on my face!!) a scrub for exfoliating (found is…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/18 11:46 PM
1

Oh a year or so
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 11:23 PM
1

Thank you. I’ve been in therapy myself. It’s been a long hard road. Honestly the past few days have been tumultuous and every angry emotion I have put off seems to be bubbling up to the surface. I appreciate the words of encouragement.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 10:34 PM
1

He is not actively in therapy. He has spoken to several therapists but he said they weren’t good fits. It has been an ongoing argument between us. I’m reluctantly coming to conclude the same thing about the dog. I’m just really heated over it...
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 10:32 PM
1

I guess where it is so hard is that we dreamed of having a dog. Like for years. It was always “when we buy a house we can have a dog!” And there are so many things that came up with buying the house that it feels like if I give up the dog- I have given up everything for him. I don’t ask for sex, I don’t ask for him to speak my love language,... so I just feel so angry that I have to give up the one thing left of what we wanted with the house... I know logically that may be stupid.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 10:14 PM
1

Yes. He does have OCD unfortunately :/. He has a ton of “rules” to follow which weren’t as bad since a major flare up a couple years ago (we bought a house...long story). But sometimes he will get something that he gets stuck on and it will be a couple of weeks that he is basically on repeat. It’ll be all he thinks about (especially if we have sex - and we break any of his rules...)
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 10:11 PM
4

Your body has been through a whole lot. I also like the book Postnatal Depletion. He goes into the nutrients we loose through pregnancy. My 3rd was kind of like that. It was like she had been there the whole time. It was such a smooth transition. So the sleep deprivation kind of snuck up on me. It ended up looking more like panic attacks though :/. But she’s 5 now and we did get through that! Then we added a 4th LOL. She is 2 now so we are finally getting sleep.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 06:45 PM
4

This too shall pass :). Hormones, colds, no sleeping, moving are all seriously stressful things alone. Add them together and it’s crazytown. Take care of yourself!! And it will pass (you may have to keep repeating it!!)
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 05:49 PM
6

So if you read The Empowered Wife - she talks about first of all self care . If you take care of yourself anything your husband does will be a bonus. If you make sure you are getting regular massages among other things to take care of yourself - then you won’t be whiny and desperate at the end of the day. That may also include things like taking a nap when the baby takes a nap or even getting a sitter to help out some days so you can rest. Second, putting forth your desires in a non whiny way. S…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 04:34 PM
11

I can’t handle hormonal birth control. We used the Fertility Awareness Method for BC before I got my tubes tied (we have 4 kids we are done!). The book Take Charge of Your Fertility is so good and I recommend it to everyone. It’s so important to learn about your hormones and why and when certain things happen.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 08:17 AM
155

Liberals? I’m a conservative libertarian and neither of my boys are cut (when they were born I wouldn’t have even called myself libertarian...i was as republican as you can get!). I hate when everything becomes such a political thing.
/r/MensRights26/11/18 01:06 AM
19

Responsible (has a reliable job and has been there a while), doesn’t constantly make excuses for himself, has long-ish term plans but flexible if something changes out of his control, good with kids & animals (especially if you want kids one day!), decent hygiene, treats elderly people with kindness not disdain. For me personally - good sense of humor (especially when things don’t go as planned), a gentleman (opening doors, letting me go first through the door, etc), offering to pay for dates (o…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/18 01:00 AM
2

Take one step at a time. I started with a face & skin routine in the shower (face wash, scrubs & sometimes a mask and a body scrub). I did that for a while until it became routine. Now I do my makeup daily - sometimes just a foundation & concealer. If you try to do everything all at once it can get overwhelming:)
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/18 07:32 PM
1

Hmmm. How often does it happen? Is it frequently enough that it is actually causing an issue? Can you ask him or does he get upset at that also?
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/18 03:05 PM
2

I feel like this is a hard one. If he is asking you you are doing exactly what he says he wants. I suppose turning it around and saying, “well, what do you think we should do” and then not give your opinion at all (which I’m not sure is the healthiest thing even in a RP relationship).
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/18 01:30 PM
2

Can you give an example? I’m having trouble imagining what the conversation would be about (but that may just be me). Does he ask for your opinion before he gives his? And why would he ask if he didn’t want to hear a disagreeing point of view? And congratulations!! Babies are just so wonderful :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/18 12:13 PM
7

I’d say men who do “manly” jobs. My husband works on big conveyor belts in mines - his co workers all tend to be very masculine. Not all of them, mind you, but yeah.... I don’t know how to go out and find them though. I met my husband on the younger side (we were 19 & 20).
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/18 02:28 PM
7

I also wanted to say that there are a lot of women here who are of a red pill mindset who are all cautioning you about this scenario. That means a ton. You will be very wise to consider the advice here. You were questioning it enough to post it here. That says a lot to me.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 04:11 PM
6

Well, truth be told - it’s your choice. Are you really ok not bearing your own children? What if his plans include something like spanking or something that you absolute do not agree with? If you have any misgivings now you will be kicking yourself for not heeding those in 5 years and you are too far down the path to turn back. I have 4 kids. I haven’t aged anymore than any other person. I wouldn’t give up those pregnancies for any person on the planet.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 03:52 PM
53

That is incredibly odd. Both of those conditions are strange. What way does he want the children raised? Does that mean you will work while he stays home at takes care of them? What happens when you age and natural processes take over (gray hair, wrinkles, etc)? I wouldn’t have children with this man. I have stretch marks from when I was a teenager. I got more when I was pregnant . My husband’s desire for me has not changed. I also have no issues with wanting to have sex (I have 4 children).
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 09:45 AM
3

In a lot of ways having grandsons have made a big difference in her mindset. But I have noticed that type of mentality more and more (I think just me being aware of it). Even amongst my fellow Christian , homeschool moms...
/r/MensRights15/11/18 02:35 AM
11

She doesn’t outright say feminist. It’s the whole subtle gyno centric mentality. She follows this one Christian group that is all about retranslating the Bible into being more “woman friendly” and see how oppressed women are in marriage and so on. In terms of how she has viewed my husband these last 2 years (when he has been going through his lower points) has been very unempathetic. She would tell me “you know things like this often lead to divorce” and “you just need to overstep him and take c…
/r/MensRights15/11/18 12:57 AM
34

As a woman, I can see where you are coming from. I did not have brothers and my dad really wasn’t around and were quietly taught how bad men are (it was never said out loud). My husband didn’t express emotion like I do (tears, talking about it. Etc) so I figured he didn’t “feel”. It’s taken 12 years of marriage and having boys to really understand the depth of what he does for us as a family. He has dealt with overwhelming ocd & depression. He still gets up and goes to work because we need him t…
/r/MensRights14/11/18 09:52 PM
1

Yes, unfortunately actions speak louder than words. I’m sorry you are in this position.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 07:14 PM
57

This is the situation you’ve created. It isn’t going to change unless you make it change. He’s already made it clear he doesn’t want you moving in. So now you make your choice. Personally, I think you are being taken advantage of and need to find a man not a boy. But that’s just my 2 cents...
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 01:41 PM
28

I watched it twice to make sure I heard correctly. The judge declared him innocent, but he still needs to go before the ethics committee? Why doesn’t she have to?
/r/MensRights13/11/18 08:23 PM
33

my first time doing this I hope it works!
/r/MensRights12/11/18 04:10 PM
89

Are those the guys that were on Joe Rogan recently? That podcast was hilarious & sad at the same time. Really great listen.
/r/MensRights12/11/18 03:35 PM
2

We used to spank. And really it can depend on the child. My oldest needed a firm warning with maybe a small spank and he’d never do “that thing” again. My younger son is incredibly willful and spanking never worked. In fact it did the opposite. On a unrelated note it actually cause a lot of marriage issues because we disagreed on it. Now we do a combo of positive reinforcement, love & logic, and natural consequences. My 2nd child (the willful one I mentioned) gets incredibly over stimulated and …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/18 01:22 PM
2

I am the first to admit I used to get so so upset over my husband’s chewed up nail. I would flat out nag him. Then I realized it really isn’t a big deal. And I stopped. And things got so much smoother for us.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/18 09:39 PM
8

I think it is wise to have ideals. But make sure that they are realistic. Define financial stability. We were financially “unstable” when we had our first and I wouldn’t have changed a thing :). We lived in a tiny 1 bedroom apt and I stayed at home. We made everything from scratch (like everything, bread, yogurt, everything). It’s like the most fun point in my life. After our second I had major postpartum depression and my husband found out he has OCD. Nothing could have prepped us for that. Als…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/18 12:01 PM
11

We did not find out the gender of any of our kids. For our first pregnancy we were at a childbirth class when the subject came up. It isn’t really a subject I knew anything about. My husband is circumcised so at first it was just a “given” (at least for him). This being a natural child birth class there was a lot of discussion within the class and it got me to researching it. I went so far to read what the New Testament has to say (and I love Paul’s opinion). We have 2 intact boys :)
/r/MensRights09/11/18 11:34 PM
5

My husband and I listened to the whole thing last night. So good
/r/MensRights09/11/18 06:34 PM
2

If you are forgetting about brushing or whatnot - set an alarm on your phone or write a note on your bathroom mirror :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 04:39 PM
6

Thanks for the suggestion. My husband and I downloaded it last night :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 04:21 PM
2

Him for me? Goodness I had surgery on Monday and he has been amazing. I’ve been trying to thank him by massaging his scalp or really just telling him. He fell asleep on the couch so I am keeping the kids busy for a little while so he can get some rest.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 09:09 PM
–

I used to bake bread a lot (I haven’t in a while). However yes- I would prep the dough in the bread maker :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 09:02 PM
5

We had a conversation early on about our goals. We started dating in our very early 20s. I was staying with my sister for the summer. I asked if it was just a fun, summer thing or if we were serious. We both agreed we wanted it to be serious. What that meant for us was that it was dating with the eventual goal of getting married.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 06:09 PM
18

it can still affect your relationship It may be worthwhile to take a break from porn to see if that helps
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 05:48 PM
45

How much porn is he watching?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 04:38 PM
2

Let it go. Let him have it and don’t get stressed about it. When something comes up and he says,”hey, what’s the password for xyz” give it to him without anything else said (no,”it’s about time or finally”. He sounds like a smart guy. He’ll figure it out. If he is asking these questions of you, my answer might be different. But it sounds like you are having trouble letting it go and letting him just take over :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 11:18 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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