TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

TomTomReyRey Archive

View 10 posts and 175 comments by TomTomReyRey on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

If it’s in her exclusive area, you can’t move them. She can’t legally record them without your permission. Also if you’re not allowed in her exclusive area and their are cameras there, there should be now reason that you aren’t allowed to close the door. Just close her door. The cameras are to record her exclusive area, not the public area outside of it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 03:47 PM
1

I get it. I’ve been working on myself and learning my errors. There’s definitely more to it than just me though.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:03 PM
1

Thanks man I appreciate it. How was your journey
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 07:51 PM
1

What do you do when it floats into your mind?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 07:51 PM
2

I get it man. Been with mine 14 years and separated about 15 months. Her style has changed, dresses sexier. Bought a new line up of “come F me heels”. She cheated and then divorced me. So it is hard. Like you, good days and bad days. Sometimes I think about the things that I thought her on the kinky side. When we first started she was pretty vanilla, in 14 years I got her to wear the heels. She hated it, now she’s buying them. Putting them on and I’m sure getting F’ed in them and putting them in…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:57 PM
1

Well said. I do agree
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 11:57 PM
1

I think it’s important to see how old the daughter is. If she’s a grown adult, then maybe. Out of all the 3 women involved, the daughter should be number 1 and there shouldn’t be any question about it. If your new gf doesn’t respect, then maybe she’s the one that should go. Your daughter is the only woman in your life that should matter. This is coming from a divorced dad with a daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 11:06 PM
1

How long, it’s been over a year
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:54 PM
4

Went from her parents being great people, my sister in law was amazing. I would consider her one of my best friends. Now all her sister does is talk about how shitty I am. She gasses up my ex wife about how I’m a piece of shit and the ex wife tells her I’m a piece of shit. They’re just miserable immature people now. As far as the parents, mom is very wealthy and told me she’s going to take me to court and take everything I have and will destroy me because she knows I can’t afford court.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 08:47 PM
1

Well I’m that’s not the ONLY thing I’m looking for, so don’t get me wrong, but that connection is very important
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 11:28 PM
1

Oh not at all. I don’t want a “win” I just don’t want to lose as bad
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 08:01 PM
1

Gotcha, her number was her getting everything and me giving her 20,000 my side came up with her getting everything and her giving me 150,000. Her final offer was to get everything and give me 50,000. Seemed like a big gap to me, so now we are going to court. Who knows whose numbers are closer to fair in the eyes of the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 07:28 PM
3

Thanks for this. I have a lot of hurdles to get through and it’s definitely hard. What do you mean if the difference is less than 30k? The difference of what?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 07:03 PM
1

Any kids or pensions or retirements involved
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 03:45 PM
1

I’m glad the worst is over for you. I feel like I’m smack in the middle and this is taking FOREVER.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:57 PM
1

Gotcha, 14 years together here and I’m getting financially screwed. Like I told someone else in this chat. She was very sexy and sex was great. I’m worried I’ll be out of all my money and retirement and no one will fulfill me sexually like she did.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:56 PM
1

I appreciate that’s. I have 3 kids and she had nothing. So she’s get my assets, investment, child support, alimony, so it feels like it’s going to be a hard start. Also she’s hot and the sex was incredible. She’d cater to all my sexual requests and now she’s doing that for someone else and that’s also a struggle. Not sure if I’ll find someone as sexy and as willing to do the things she was. And it was more than that. She WAS my best friend and confidant.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:54 PM
1

I’m glad to hear all of his. It definitely sounds like you’ve been through. Congratulations on your success
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 07:17 AM
3

This is definitely what I need and what I’m looking for. It’s hard to see the hope when you feel like you’re constantly drowning. Like you reach for a life jacket but keep sinking
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 07:14 AM
1

Sounds like you know what you’re talking about. It seems like we are doing 50/50 and we are imputing her income. I am somewhat of a middle to high earner. She will be off of my medical and I will still have the kids on it, so I get some sort of credit. I do have to split my marital retirement and some investments which makes equitable distribution favor her and hurt me. Thanks for sharing the knowledge.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:45 PM
1

Now this is what I’m hoping more men have to share. My wife won’t be homeless because she comes from a very wealthy family, however she’s broke because none of it is hers, but she will be okay especially after she wipes out my savings. Hopefully it’s not that bad, but it’s all in Gods hands. The alienation is getting better it was horrible when it first started. Still bad, but better. Thank you for sharing your positivity. It breathes a little hope into this exhausting situation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:17 PM
1

I’m in Florida. The problem with assets is she has none, and I have them all. She literally has nothing which entitled her to child support and alimony as well. My ex wife is more of a scumbag than the lawyers. Well actually it’s her mother. My wife doesn’t understand anything. Mommy’s holding her hand a paying her lawyer fees. I will never get married again. My wife will be a single mom in her forties. Why wouldn’t I date a single woman in her forties? Basically you’re telling me stay away from…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:38 PM
1

I don’t intend to give her everything but when there’s an argument that shows she’s entitled to it, it’s hard argue that she’s not. It’s just a huge hit to me. I don’t think I’m ready for hinge just yet. I had to move in with my mother to get through this divorce. Maybe once it’s over I’ll give it a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:35 PM
2

This has sort of resolved itself. The parenting custody part is almost settled to 50/50. It’s the assets that’s the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:33 PM
2

Yea, it’s definitely a struggle. So far we did agree on 50/50. The equitable distribution is where I’m screwed. Basically because I’ve been taking care of my family and trying to prepare for the future. Well she cheats, requests a divorce and gets half of everything I’ve been growing for us. Plus child support and alimony. If you don’t mind me asking, where did you meet these other women? Did you join an online dating app or change your social media status to divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:06 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:30 PM
1

Yea, that’s where it’s heading. Lawyers are deposing and prepping. It’s scary because what if I “lose” in court. Then I spent extra money to get nowhere
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:12 PM
1

Yea, that’s a big concern for me to be honest
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:06 PM
2

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:06 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:05 PM
1

Well from my experience and I can only speak from me. Florida starts at 50/50 child custody and it will take A LOT, for that to change. One of you have to damn near kill someone and be hooked on drugs before you lose 50/50. That’s if the arrangement works as where one of you lives. If it’s hours away or in another state, then it should t be an issue. The only thing your claims can do is possibly give you a better fight for 50/50. You couldn’t imagine how much video evidence I submitted on my wif…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:44 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:39 PM
1

I hope it’s worth it because it definitely is expensive
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:38 PM
1

Good for you, I’m glad things are looking better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:37 PM
2

Staying is not always better. The best interest for the kids is better. When there’s verbal abuse and cursing and yelling in front of kids leaving is the best outcome. That could be recorded. You can leave to prevent the kids from seeing that and prevent them from seeing the cops come to your house and someone gets arrested. IF you can cohabitate, yes. Staying would be better until the smoke clears.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:35 PM
1

I’m similar in Florida. Except I left the house due to her actions in front of the kids. What claims did she deny? I think I’m confused on that part. If you can clarify what you mean, I can give you my 2 cents based on what I’m going through. I think I’m a few months ahead of you in the process
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:22 PM
1

Awesome. Thanks for your input!
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:25 PM
1

Yea, my divorce is a mess. That’s why I’m searching for hope lol.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:24 PM
1

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. So far at mediation, her attorney did not want a fair settlement. Obviously they had all the numbers to back up their story. And my side had numbers that were more fair for me. Neither of us found a common middle.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:23 PM
1

By not need legal advice, I mean that my lawyers are handling that part. The legal stuff is being dealt with and I’ll get whatever I get. I just meant from more of an emotional perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:20 PM
2

Did the divorce financially drain you and now you made it out? Or was it not to bad on your finances? Mine are taking a huge hit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:19 PM
1

So you hit the low of lows and now it’s better?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:17 PM
1

Not sure what’s better, living with the piece of shit or with my mom. Good luck with it all.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:17 PM
1

Agreed. This is exactly what I’m dealing with. 10,8 and 5. Wife cheated, divorced me and basically forced me to leave (long story) so now she bitches and curses and yells at me and demands I leave the house. The kids see all of this, once I leave she stops screaming and started crying. In their little minds, daddy left and made mommy cry.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:16 PM
1

Good point. They’re probably long gone. It’s a damn waiting game with this. 1 thing happens the. It’s crickets for months.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:14 PM
2

Do not tell them the truth. Let them learn it as they get older. The truth can be used against. If they turn on her it could look like you’re alienating the other parent and 50/50 would be harder to get. Just remind them that you love them more than anything and you miss and think about them all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 06:08 PM
6

I gotta agree with these guys. 40s here, 3 kids under 10. She cheated and demanded a divorce and kicked me out. I understand she can’t kick me out. However if she’s demanding me to leave and cursing and screaming and hitting and yelling in front of the kids, yes I left. For their best interest. However I despise her. I’m not afraid of confrontation with her, she just doesn’t matter enough to me to get my attention. This divorce is ugly. Yes, there are time that I see my wife in that shell, but t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 09:54 PM
6

I would agree, 39 year old wife is a nut job. Cheated and divorced me. She’s not a bad mom but she has lost her mind at this age. So heres a new question, do they ever get their mind back? If so, at what age? I ask this question sincerely.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:25 PM
1

Mine may have just been because of the high conflict and ridiculous requests from her side. I truly hope yours is smooth and easy and everything is fair.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 08:30 PM
0

Exactly. Think how happy it will make the kids feel, knowing my that they mad mom happy. Then you seeing them happy is your own gift for you on a Mother’s Day
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 04:02 AM
1

Exactly. It might seem hard because you can’t stand her and she doesn’t deserve it, but your kids do. You’re doing the right thing. Father to father
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 11:26 PM
4

I’m very close to where you are. We are right in the middle of a divorce and HATE each other. To answer your question, my opinion is it depends on the age. My 3 are 10,8, and 5. I will be getting/helping them get Mother’s Day gifts. I look at it like this, they’re kids and they can’t get their mom gifts on their own, so I will help them buy gifts or help them make something. It’s more about them. I don’t want them growing up and realizing that they didn’t get mom anything and have them feel guil…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:31 PM
2

Would her lawyer really not want to settle at mediation if she didn’t think the outcome was realistic? I guess I don’t understand why they wouldn’t come up with a better settlement unless they think they’ll get what they want out of it. Does that make sense? Like why keep going if her lawyer doesn’t think she has a good chance of getting what she wants
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 08:06 PM
2

Ahh, agreed. I’m not throwing any offers. If she’s somewhat realistic wants to avoid trial, she can make an offer. I’m staging where I am. Thanks for the advise.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 07:57 PM
3

This confused me. Are you saying give up and not continue?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 07:45 PM
3

Well if she’s healthy and CAN work, she can be imputed. Basically minimum wage at 40 hours a week. That will help the gap between alimony and child support. We did end at mediation so it was an extra 10,000 upfront for my lawyer so they can start preparing. 50/50 should get you a lower child support number, so that 1 less fight you need to worry about. If she’s somewhat realistic, you may come to an agreement. I hope you have a better outcome than I did. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 07:44 PM
4

Yea, hopefully I meet someone who understands and supports me. I’m definitely not ready for another relationship, but at mid 40s, I’m hoping to find someone one day. I definitely do not see women as the enemy, but it is insane how women use to get their way. It’s good to see that most states start at 50/50 and realize children need both parents. How can women cheat, initiate a divorce, and get half of the man’s stuff ALSO want to keep full custody. You’re crazy
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 05:09 PM
3

Oh yea, big time multimillion dollar firm. My lawyer is a regular guy who’s done this over thirty years. He knows what he’s doing and he isn’t afraid to go head to head. I would assume as a smaller lawyer, you basically get paid off of your reputation. If he has a loss on his record, he may lose clients in the future. I don’t think the money he would make off of my case would set him up for life. Hue reputation is worth way more. So for him to suggest court opposed to settling at a crappy agreem…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:40 PM
6

That’s exactly what I’m hoping for. I’m prepared to go to court, but I won’t take crumbs just to avoid it. If I get something reasonable, then we can end it right the and there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:36 PM
5

I completely agree. The only reason for her to want them is to get more money and have all the control. Despite how much I hate her, I could never tell her she can’t have 50/50 of the kids. I understand how important it is for kids to have their mother. She’s not on drugs, she’s not abusive, both are good parents to our children and love them very much. So for a woman to not want her children with their father half of the time is horrible. Kids deserve both. You got married intending for both pa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:34 PM
1

She created the business when we got married. There’s some sort of loop hole that her lawyer found since everything it titled under her mother’s name and not hers.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:31 PM
5

Yea, we are prepping for trial. I assumed the same thing. The worst thing that can happen is I end up exactly where I’m at. It’s better to go to trial and hopefully get a little more than what they’re offering.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:46 PM
2

I appreciate that. I completely agree with what you’re saying. Somehow her lawyer didn’t and now we are going to court. Thanks for the support.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:44 PM
6

How’d it go with assets? Our child arrangement is somewhat fair, so it’s much less of a fight than I expected. At the start of it all, she was a typical woman “I’m getting my sole custody of the kids, ultimate decision making and you can have visitation.” That got shut down since Florida starts at 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:43 PM
1

She has her own business which her lawyer omitted from the divorce as income. She also has a part time job which we imputed her income and it’s still about half of my annual income. 50/50 will get adjusted but again I make more than she does. With her keeping the house she still wants my pension when I retire. I’m only halfway done with my career so she’s only entitled to about 650 a month but she still wants it
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:38 PM
4

Thanks. 50/50 custody is pretty much settled. It’s just the assets. Mediation has her taking half the assets and the whole value of the house. No 50/50 of assets on her side. She basically wants 90/10 and have me still owe her 20,000.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:21 PM
1

Thanks. I’m in Florida and child custody has been agreed to 50/50. We have figured out the cars as well. The big fight is her getting the house AND my pension and child support and alimony. The house is worth more than my pension is.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:20 PM
1

Thanks for that. I’m glad it worked out for you. All I can do is be honest.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:18 PM
2

I’m not going anywhere. It’s a shame that fathers have to fight to be in kids lives
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 08:50 AM
2

Yea it’s a sad situation for dads. It is crazy how much has changed. Dads actually have a small chance.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 08:35 PM
2

Oh for sure. I countered with my own. My point is I thought their proposal was going to be a lot worse than it was
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 06:02 PM
3

I feel for you man. I believed mine was coming back too. I would wake up at 3 am to check my phone hoping I would see a text from her. A few months passed and I realized, no text was coming. I know it’s not easy, everyday I hoped today would be the day she wants back. Then one day it sort of hit me. I started thinking about ALL the things, not just to good ones. I realized it wasn’t great and in fact don’t want her back. As far as sleeping with a stuffy, I have one of my sons stuffed animals in …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 03:52 PM
7

ChatGPT is amazing and has saved me in many ways. I will literally cut and paste stbxw divorce proposals after reading and ask it to break it down for me and it makes it so easy. Stbxw sent over a child custody proposal. I have a weird schedule and assumed I wouldn’t get as many days as I wanted. I was going for 50/50 but the proposal had me getting approximately 125 days. I submitted it to ChatGPT and it found a simple change of a few hours and found me probably another 100 days that I didn’t e…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 01:01 AM
1

Definitely not going to happen here. I just want her to feel regret. I know it’s selfish. Sorry you went through that
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:29 PM
1

That’s what I’m looking for. The bridge is well burned, I’m just wondering if she tried coming back and got shut down
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:12 PM
1

Yea, I bet it’s something that could confuse you. I want mine to realize she made a mistake and by that time I’ll be doing so much better without her than with
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 07:07 AM
2

I’ve recently learned a new term and it actually fits more of what we are talking about. I’m the same, my ex wife says we should co parent better. Which is impossible with her. So like the other guy said 100 percent of the decisions, 50 percent of the time. It’s called parallel parenting. When the kids are with you, you do what you want and raise them how you want. Your rules are your rules and vice versa. Obviously some decisions need to be made together (medical, school, etc.) other than that,…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 08:36 PM
1

Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time out to respond. I do think a court would rule in my favor, but maybe I’m being biased. I guess I feel it as I’m being fair and she’s being controlling and just wants to won’t because she’s been entitled her whole life. I have a meeting with my lawyer soon and hopefully he steers me in the right direction. I think she may be in for a little shock if her lawyer doesn’t prepare her. Everyone else is taking care of her divorce besides her. Family and friends …
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 06:30 PM
2

Good for you. Seemed like you initially got “F”ed. I’m sorry you went through that
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 12:33 AM
2

Not as far fetched as you would think. I have therapy and meds. She believed I had mental issues and I believe she currently does. Therapy has helped me tremendously and I’m proud to say that I’ve been working on myself. When things were somewhat good with us, I suggested she look into therapy. Of course she refused because nothings wrong with her and I’m the problem and my therapy ain’t working. Talk about narcissism. Good luck buddy
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 12:31 AM
1

Definitely appreciate this
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 12:29 AM
2

Oh there’s plenty out there. I’ve been called everything you could imagine and told I’m as fucked up as my fucked up parents. Honestly and I’m not trying to pull the typical response, there may be mental issues there. I could never call her mother any names even though she in fact is most of the bad ones you can say. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 10:44 PM
1

Didn’t mediator give her recommendations at the time of mediation?
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 10:30 PM
2

Ha! Thanks. Definitely no drug or alcohol. All there was were hugs, birthdays, parks, school events, jokes and “I love yous” pissed me off that she would even consider asking for 100. Appreciate the feed back
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:49 PM
1

Thank you. I’m very hopeful
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:32 PM
2

Thanks, I have most of that figured out. We are in Florida and mediation is mandatory. If things don’t get resolved in mediation, then we go to court. From my understanding, in Florida, most divorces settle in mediation. Thanks for your input
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:04 PM
1

Thanks. She does think she’s entitled to EVERYTHING. I’m prepared for it, but just wondering how realistic it is. Her lawyer asked for everything and my lawyer asked for everything. I’m sure they both know what they can get, so what’s the point in reaching for the moon. They’ve obviously talked and both have been through this before. I was spooked at first, but my lawyer has been honest. He said he won’t bullshit me and won’t be unrealistic. Although she wants everything, the lawyer told me, “th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 08:59 PM
1

Yea, my state starts at 50/50 (Florida) I’m just wonder who will need to put up the bigger fight. Will she have to fight harder to get 100 or will I have to fight harder to get my 50? Im finally in a decent mental state, hit the gym everyday and im with my kids at least 5 days a week and I live an hour away. Once it’s finalized and I know my finances, I will be moving closer. That’s non negotiable. That’s for the input
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 08:54 PM
1

That’s awesome! I’m happy for you. All I really want is half my kids and half my house. She wants final decision making on all of the kids things, school, medical etc. I’m just wondering what the chances of her getting it. Mind you I am a good father and person. There’s nothing in my past that would question my parenting. The difference is I would never tell her I want some decision making. She’s their mother for crying out loud. Of course she should be part of big decisions like that. So you th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 08:52 PM
2

Wow this is spot on. Just had a HUGE fight with the STBX this weekend. It hasn’t changed my schedule though. Picking up the kids and doing extracurricular activities. This post made me feel better. It does feel like I’m on argument close to screwing myself out of my kids. I appreciate you talking about this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 03:50 AM
3

I’m in the same boat. My wife ended up cheating on me, then chose to divorce me, so that sucked. Now that I moved out I know she has so much alone time. Either meeting up with guys or snapchatting and getting off with them. It destroys me. Sadly everything is more and more cliche. Yes you’ll feel better in time. People say stop caring and she’s not yours anymore and just move on. If only it were that simple. I’m sure you would love to not care and love to move on. Fact of the matter is, that’s n…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 03:41 AM
4

I completely agree. Whenever I start getting weak I remember “oh yea, she let another guy fuck her” she’s getting off with all kinds of guys now. She’s in her hoe phase. She has zero access to me. Obviously I get bothered by her moving on so fast and cheating, but you gotta just keep moving forward. If you believe in God, run that path. That’s where I’m at. I love my kids and I love my peace. I selfishly hope she comes running back to me, only so she can realize, there’s nothing waiting for her …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:06 AM
16

I’m with you man. My stbx cheated. I begged for another chance and she still divorced me. Now that we are in the middle of the divorce, I realized who I really am. I’m not the guy who gets cheated on cries to himself over some bitch who doesn’t want him. She treated me like super shit. Sadly, I can’t be the bigger person. We have kids together and I won’t even acknowledge her existence. She tries to say hello and I walk right by. I don’t see her the same way and I’ve never had more animosity tow…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 12:49 AM
2

Thanks for your input. I’m sure it’s hard to find EVERYTHING I’m looking for. However I need to navigate the best parts of what I’m looking for and compi
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:19 PM
2

Thank you. Everyone’s input and positivity definitely helps
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 12:27 PM
1

Thanks for your input. I’m sure it’s hard to find EVERYTHING I’m looking for. However I need to navigate the best parts of what I’m looking for and comprise
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 11:06 AM
1

Thanks for the positivity. It goes a long way. Especially with the doubt of moving forward without knowing what’s out there.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 11:04 AM
7

First off, I feel for you. I’ve been in your position as far as THINKING it was all my fault. I’m here to tell you that it’s not all your fault and in the same sentence, it’s not all of hers either. I won’t bore you with details, married 11 years, separated 16 months. Within the 1st three months of separation, she started fooling with a guy that we fought about a lot. For years, he’s “just a friend “ writhing 6 months of the separation I found out she slept with him. I was very mean to her when …
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 11:31 PM
1

I’m confused. Who’s single and says you can see each other
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 11:05 PM
3

It took me 18 months out of a 14 year relationship and 3 kids to be able to pull away a bit. I fought and fought and fought for her and it only pushed her further away. Then one day I found myself crying less, then less, then every couple of days, to hardly ever. She’s still stuck in my brain from time to time but not as much. She cheated and I still fought, but now I got my confidence back and I’m realize she doesn’t deserve me. I’m not trying to be arrogant, but who the fuck do women think the…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 10:17 PM
2

You will be great. You are on the right path. I know you’ll be okay because you said you are grateful for the relationship you share. I’m in a similar boat except I had to move out of the house and moved an hour away and live with my mom. Mind you I’m 44. I drive an hour to my kids almost everyday to pick them up from school and spend time. Since I’m in the middle of my divorce, I don’t know what I will or won’t have when the smoke clears and the divorce is finalized. I will tell you this, I WIL…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 08:06 PM
1

I said the same thing. 14 years and now we have to hate/fight for everything?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:54 PM
1

Man, I wish I could tell you to stick with your agreement, but get your lawyer to do their job. My wife asked for a divorce and obviously I didn’t want to. Well she contacted a lawyer, so I had to get one too. Well time went by and she said she is serving me. My lawyer drew up divorce papers to have me review, but I got my wife’s papers 2 days before I was going to send mine. Long story short, they were almost verbatim, word for word. She was pissed at me for going after so much that she didn’t …
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:14 PM
1

So I truly feel for you and I’ve been in this position. Long story short, we’ve had fights, but who hasn’t. Of course they were my fault. I haven’t been perfect and I have made her sleep on the couch multiple times. Within the last few years she started working with a friend who she admitted they were supposed to go on a date 20 years prior, but he canceled. Slowly in time he came back and like I said, they worked together. As a man, of course discomfort came in. I expressed my concern and got t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:01 PM
1

As long as you get your clarity and feel better, that’s what’s important
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 05:32 PM
4

How long have you guys been separated and how long has she had a boyfriend? My wife cheated on me but didn’t have a relationship with the guy. I did confront him and it felt great. He apologized more times than none and asked me not to beat his… As a man we all want that alpha mentality and I’ll admit, I do too. As far as your situation, if you can’t convince (make an excuse to now be there) then you need to keep your cool. Pretend that it doesn’t bother you. I know deep down inside you’re ready…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 11:56 PM
1

Much appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 05:20 AM
2

Thank you, this is a bit more reassuring now. The only problem is I live over an hour away and can’t move closer until the divorce is over. I won’t know what I’m left with financially. That’s going to be hard to win a fair share of custody
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 06:16 PM
2

You can sleep with others in a divorce. Her separation was a plan to give herself a free hall pass. She had a time line for the separation at a date when we would get back together. She used “separation” to benefit herself
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 09:39 PM
1

You’re not wrong. It is the marital house and we do both have a right to be there, however my children’s mental health is not important. I’m hoping it all gets worked out in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 09:36 PM
2

This is great
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 08:04 PM
1

All that is already in the works. I’m just asking if anyone’s had the experience and how they got through it
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:52 PM
5

Needed this
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 06:45 PM
1

I don’t know where you’re located, long story short, my wife filed for divorce in our 11th year of marriage. In Florida, she is entitled to more money after 11 years, then 10 years. 10 years is the mark. If you are going to do divorce, research what I’m saying and file before 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 07:22 PM
1

Hell no. That’s exactly what I want too. I don’t want someone to be my personal worker, but someone with traditional values is what I want. I had a wife who didn’t do anything’s. I cooked, shopped, took care of kids, did laundry folded and put it away. Wife spent all day at her business with her sister, then would come home and text her until bed time. I really do want a good woman who SHARES those things. If we beed laundry done, she does it and vice versa. It’s definitely not a bad thing to wa…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 06:34 PM
3

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 06:22 PM
8

I know this all to well. In the middle of a divorce and at the beginning of this, I would’ve done anything to get her back. A lot of gaslighting on her end and like others, she eventually cheated. Now she’s entertaining other men. Usually on Snapchat sending nudes and getting each other off. Yes it really bothers me. We are only allowed to communicate through an app, per our lawyers. When I see her, there’s no eye contact. At first it was sad, the woman I was with for 14 years and have 3 kids wi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 05:39 PM
1

Here’s my 2 cents. You may not want to hear this but you let it go on for 2 years. Why bring it up now? I understand you wanting her to honor her time but you should’ve asked her 2 years ago. You let it go on for 2 years and now she doesn’t want the support to change. You’ll be asked “why are you bringing it up now and not when it started?” That’s my opinion, I understand your stance, you should definitely pay less child support but you essentially gave her a warning. Document things now and if …
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 06:47 PM
1

I appreciate that info. It’s actually encouraging and hopeful. I’m stuck in that phase where the divorce isn’t final yet. I think once it is and I get my final numbers and can start my new life, then I’ll be able to focus on rebuilding. The health is good the fitness is good and I’m 44. I hope I get blessed with your luck to rebuild like you did. I especially like the smoking wife who respects you. I have the smoking wife but zero respect. Cheated and looks for male attention. No cooking no groc…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 08:30 PM
1

Do you mind if I ask when all the positives started happening? What age did you divorce and what age did it start getting better?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 06:33 PM
1

This is an awesome ending. Thanks for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 06:32 PM
1

It’s good to hear you’re in a relationship. I’ve had the same problem at bars. There are a few more mature bars in my area so that’s not too bad. What apps did you use if you don’t mind me asking
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:09 PM
1

I appreciate that. Right now the only hard part is the sexual jealousy. Her and I had some great sex. I taught her everything. Now others are getting that. I introduced her to sending nudes, and now I know she’s posing for other men. Naked in heels, masturbating and such. So here’s a question, I’m in a bad position in this portion of the marriage, such as driving a better car and living with my mother lol. I swear, I’m not that pathetic. For, healthy, good looking. Just not where I should be. Wh…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 03:28 PM
1

That sounds very much like me. I know there are things that I wanted from that she didn’t provide. I often forget those and only remember the good times. She definitely doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong and constantly says it’s all been my fault. I can take responsibility for my actions. I’ve never been perfect and some of the problems were caused by me and some by her, but she denies it. How do you handle the sexual jealousy, or was there not any since you were pretty much checked out? I …
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 03:07 PM
1

I meant more so finances and time sharing and living arrangements
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 01:18 AM
1

Yea, once things get straightened out, I’m hoping I can get back to rediscovering myself and being happy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 06:41 PM
2

No I agree. I’m not saying it’s the right approach. Everyday I’m trying to remind myself about the bad in her. 14 years and it’s hard to forget the goods.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 05:25 PM
3

YOU ARE ME. Just 8 months ago. My wife was very similar and couldn’t give 2 shits that the kids could hear her yell and scream. My situation was the same. I would leave and come back with flowers. This went on for a few YEARS. We finally “separated” where I was still living in the house. I found out 6 months later she booked a shitty hotel too and asked guy that she’s been friends with for years to come and fuck her(I’ve always been skeptical about him) come to find out, they’ve been fooling aro…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:14 PM
1

Yea, the lawyer is on it. Sadly 50/50 isn’t a thing. Everything is “fair and equitable” doesn’t really seem fair that she gets child support, my pension, retirement, stocks etc. just for breathing
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 11:25 PM
1

Thank you. I appreciate your input
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 08:06 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:00 PM
1

Yea, maybe once everything is finalized and I can get some closure. Everyday it’s thinking about her and seeing my kids. I DO NOT speak to her. I’m in hate mode. She ended our relationship and moved on sexually very fast and that’s upsetting. I appreciate the input
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:59 AM
2

I’m hoping you’re right. I have the lawyer and all of that. I guess the whole survival mode and not wanting to lose my partner is hard. Sounds dumb and obviously not what’s important, but she’s got and sex was great. Lacking in the house wife portion. I’m afraid I won’t be able to find the total package. A hot woman that has some kinks but also cares about me and takes care of me like I do her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:57 AM
2

I think you’re doing the right thing. There definitely seems to be something there
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 09:37 AM
1

I can understand that. It’s very hard process. It’s comparable to mourning a death
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 09:36 AM
3

That’s an awesome story. I’m in the middle of a divorce(not my choice) I’m still very hung up. I often wonder if there are even any women out there. 44 with 3 kids under 10. As for your date, it sounds like it was the best date ever. As a man, I don’t even know how to date anymore. I’m kind of thinking like you. I need to find a fancy place to eat, I need to impress her, all of that stuff. You hit the jack pot. She licked YOU up. She was cool eating at a brewery on the first date. She even paid …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:22 AM
1

I’m always looking for books to read. Thanks bosshoss. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. What are you having a hard time dealing with? Like do you miss her and want to reconcile? Just wondering what you mean by spiraling. Sadly I’m on the opposite side of you. My wife is the one who left and doesn’t want anything to do with me. She seems like she’s doing great and exploring her sexual side and I’m struggling with all of that. We were each others only partners for 14 years and now its so ea…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:01 AM
1

How were you able to turn the feelings off. How has moving forward been? Like what’s your situation? New place to live? Found love? Or are you kind of alone? Do you ever miss her or get jealous and hard to let the sexual part go too?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:54 AM
1

Yup, it sucks
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:53 AM
1

Very true. There was a lack of trust. I had suspicions and then I finally found out. So that’s definitely a big one
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:53 AM
2

I do appreciate your kind words and positive attitude
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:49 PM
2

Thank you for your input in all of this. I have a mental issues where I would get mean and cold and irritable every few months and I can understand her not wanting to have anything to do with that. She put up with it for 7 years. It just sucks that now we found a diagnosis and treatment she’s gone
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 10:27 PM
1

Please elaborate
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:44 PM
2

Thank you for those words. Not to get to into it, by not being perfect, I mean, I was mean and cold at times. Long story short, I found out I have some mental health issues. It was her who suggested I look into. Well I did and we discovered it. As I’ve been getting help and meds and changing for the better, I think she was already checked out. My friends explain as if someone was sick with cancer or something but didn’t know, and their partner stuck with them. Then they find out they have cancer…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:42 PM
1

I appreciate that. I’m just hoping to find someone in time
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:38 PM
2

Yea, I’m afraid I had a hot wife and we would have 3-4 times a week. Someone mentioned she’s in her hoe phase now and I agree
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:34 PM
1

It does, but without good sex it doesn’t last
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:27 PM
1

I do have a lawyer and he is working on it. The emotional stuff is hard and so is the jealousy knowing she’s doing all of “our” stuff with someone else
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:04 PM
1

You’re rught
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:02 PM
1

Thank you very
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:01 PM
2

No, it’s good advice and I appreciate it. Sometimes I get caught up in the whole “good times and bad times, til death do us part stuff” I haven’t been an angel in the past by any means and I don’t want that to be misunderstood.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:01 PM
1

She does work, but claims she makes pennies. Yea all the kids are school age. K,2,4
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:59 PM
1

That’s the plan. I didnt know if others would agree with her or if she were being ridiculous with her request
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:58 PM
2

I would not disagree. That’s what I’ve been for 14 years. Not that I need anyone now, but I don’t want to be alone forever. I’m 44 with 3 kids. I just want a nice caring woman who wants to take care of me. Also a hot one. I know that’s dumb. My stbxw is hot and I’m afraid the next won’t be able to compete and that makes me nervous.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:57 PM
2

I appreciate your input. It’s always good to get some advice from a real lawyer. I have a family lawyer but casual questions aren’t worth calling and asking and getting charged time. I don’t want to call and say “hey, she moved my stuff out of the closet, what are my rights”. So thank you for the input. I am a sucker to for her at times. I get it and I’m not getting pushed over, but there is that emotional part that makes it hard.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:55 PM
2

I couldn’t agree more. I do feel she’s in a hoe phase. She has made comments about being divorced and finding each other in a few years after I’ve “stabilized”. That to me means, “I’m going to fuck, see you in a few years when I’m done”
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:39 PM
1

We are in the middle of the divorce, the lawyers are doing their thing. The reason I say I was forced/left the house, is because when she fights, she fights BAD. “Fuck you, you’re an asshole hole” slamming doors and what not. It wouldn’t be a big deal except we have 3 kids under 10. So it’s for them that I left. My lawyer knows all of this. I didn’t move out voluntarily, I did it so my kids didn’t have to witness us fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:36 PM
3

That’s why I ask in here. There’s real people with opinions which is awesome. I hate hearing people bullshit and try to be funny. I get the whole love and respect thing. It is crazy though. Being with someone 14 years, everyday and living a life. Occasionally I get the “I miss having someone to talk to” stuff and it tugs on my heart, but support like the guys in the thread are awesome
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:34 PM
2

We are half way through. We both have lawyers. Thanks for your thorough input
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:32 PM
2

He’s telling me I’m good with the monthly payments. As far as the oil changes and tires, it’s a toss up since it’s part of the day to day with my kids
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 06:15 PM
3

Yea but even with that, it seems like she would still owe me money.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 06:15 PM
3

Here’s my 2 cents. I’m in the middle of a divorce and I’m in Florida. When my wife first filed I was hit with the same thing. She wants sole custody and I can have visitation. I immediately broke down crying, all the past history shows that the wife gets what the wife wants. Well that can be further from the truth these days. I’m Florida it’s presumed to be 50/50 child support. Like someone mentioned on this post, the only way you can lose custody is if you’re far from your kids, and I mean very…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:07 AM
1

Yea I appreciate the input. It’ll take time and it’ll be a roller coaster for sure
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 03:35 PM
1

Thank you for that
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 03:34 PM
2

Already been down that road. Lawyers have talked and agreed that she basically kicked me out and I left because when she fights, it’s HORRIBLE. Her screaming and yelling and slamming doors and she doesn’t care who’s around to see it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 12:12 PM
1

Thanks for that
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 10:50 AM
1

It’s good to hear your story. I hope it works out for you
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 10:48 AM
1

That was a mouthful and I appreciate your time writing it. Already have the lawyer and they’re working on it. It’s crazy when you have to know “secrets” that you have to expose on the other person, to protect yourself, as far as financials and what not. The kids have counseling that they’re doing at school and I’m also provided free counseling to them through my job. It’s hard to not be nasty. I’m rude and cold and make the snarky remark here and there about her cheating. Still hurts emotionally…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:38 AM
1

Thank you. It seems impossible right now. Not being over the wife so healing is very hard. Definitely there for the kids, they are all that matter. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:29 AM
2

THANK YOU. Definitely not looking at the moment, but don’t even know how to find anyone. I’m really glad you found someone. I do hope it works best for you
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:16 AM
3

Yea I’m not ready to date. I wouldn’t even know how to ask someone out or even where to find them. Like what do I do? What do I wear? What do women like. This sorts of things. All I know is the days are pretty lonely, going from talking to someone 4 times a day to never
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:14 AM
1

I get it. I’m not defining success as being in a relationship. People always say be comfortable with yourself and I guess that’s the confusing part. I’m cool being alone but I’m also lonely and juts want a companion I guess. I’m not actively looking but there are little success stories of guys over forty finding happiness again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:01 AM
1

I’m in the middle of a divorce myself and I have also relied on ChatGPT. Yes you can get some answers, but you also have to dig deeper. Get a lawyer, first and foremost most. I’m in Florida and things here are divided fairly evenly and equitable. Not necessarily 50/50 but fair. You will not have to pay for 2 households. The courts and judges understand that you also have to survive. The more time sharing you have with your ex, the less child support for you. Assets get divided and if the home is…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:39 AM
1

You’ve gotten written letters from professional people and that saves you right there. I’m in the middle of a divorce and from what I’m told by my lawyer (not lawyer advice) but if there aren’t any police reports, then there’s not much to go on. Courts don’t “favor” the mother like they use to. However with her suicide attempt in record, then you’re definitely ahead. I think of it like this, anyone can see right through her claims. So… you’ve been beating her for 7 years, but now she wants to sp…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:25 AM
2

It’s good to hear you’re doing better. Everyday is another struggle. I miss my buddy, my partner that I’ve done everything with for the last 14 years. Happy times, struggles and kids. Now we don’t even talk. It was her decision to divorce and she cheated, but there’s times I miss her. Whenever I interact with her, I’m extremely mean. It’s my way of protecting myself. There’s times where she makes comments about missing someone she can talk to and what not, but it subconsciously gives me false ho…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 12:58 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter