How do you move on

khaddir_1 · 2026-01-22T13:03:24+00:00

Don’t go back to that house if it gets bad during arguments. Also it’s not about finding love. A relationship or marriage is just a plus for your life. Find things that you love and enjoy doing. What hobbies or goals can you do that benefit who you are. I’m sorry to hear your wife cheated but most men look at their wives as their only best option and truth be told most women are shitty at best. Don’t be afraid of your future. When you feel you are ready, get out there and you may find more way better options than your cheating wife.

SaaSWriters · 2026-01-21T14:32:03+00:00

You get what you put into it. Most guys complain, regardless if there’s divorce or single, because they think getting rejected by 3 women in a row is a sign that dating is broken. Or, more accurately, they stop making moves on new women after the first rejection.

Also, you have to love yourself first. If you’re the kind of guy who wants to make up after a fight, you’ll struggle.

madskills60 · 2026-01-21T11:59:10+00:00

Do yourself a favor and get your ass back in the house until you have a legal document in place to protect your rights. You don’t want to be accused of abandonment.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-01-21T10:04:25+00:00

Sex, you'll find that easily. Love? Now, why would you want to get hurt again?

Kullval · 2026-01-21T09:56:31+00:00

Più o meno come te, 48 anni qui e un figlio di 5 anni, sposati da 18 e insieme da 22, dopo aver fatto sacrifici per comprare casa, ristrutturarla, arredarla, macchine e altre cose, il conto era quasi prosciugato e lei 3 mesi fa mi dice che ha intenzione di separarsi, nessuna possibilità di conciliazione, mi ha detto che è infelice, che non mi ama più, che a 46 anni vuole riprendere in mano la sua vita e che se le voglio bene veramente devo lasciarla andare...

L'ho fatto, ho dovuto accettare di lasciarla andare, cosa altro potevo fare?

Ho contrattato con avvocato per affidamento 60/40, pago metà del mutuo della casa in cui non vivrò più e un terzo del mio stipendio per il mantenimento di mio figlio, ma va bene così, lui merita che la sua vita cambi il meno possibile.

Economicamente a terra, anche io sono dovuto tornare da mia madre nella mia città, che dista circa 15 miglia, non vicino a dove abitavamo con nostro figlio ma neanche così lontano...

Le montagne russe emotive continuano a farsi sentire, giovedì prossimo comincerò la terapia, ho capito di averne bisogno, il 2025 è stato un anno terribile, la morte di mio papà, la salute precaria di mia mamma e per ultimo la separazione, sto in piedi per mio figlio, ma ho bisogno di aiuto

Se senti anche tu il bisogno di aiuto, fatti aiutare, io ho degli amici che mi stanno anche ora vicini, ma non è detto che basti, uno psicologo può dare un grande aiuto

Aggravating_Chip3285 · 2026-01-21T08:03:43+00:00

So sorry that happened to you . Dig deep and put one foot in front of the other. Keep strong, and focus on the positive you are to your kids .

interspeciesMama · 2026-01-21T07:57:54+00:00

Don't you just love how divorce on account of cheating allows the cheating spouse to have/get anything at all out of the divorce🤨. Is it just me?🤔 Why are there no cheating laws when they entail so much, including therapy for the ptsd it causes the spouse that was cheated on, not to mention the children, (if they're privileged enough to have had any). About finding somebody after 40? Building yourself up right now for you & your children is priority, but do remember this, at 40 not being an embryo is part of the allure. Keep in mind that 60s are the new 40s in the 2020s & that's when in my observation a lot of people are just peaking, (depending on their life's choices of course). Wishing you strength & peace through this process & into your new life.

DyspepticDingo2 · 2026-01-21T06:13:59+00:00

midlife-madness · 2026-01-21T06:13:20+00:00

I have an amazing girlfriend who popped up out of the blue. Started out as just friend when I was casually dating a bunch of people. I have 3 kids. Late 40s. I didn’t think it could happen either. I was so impatient too. But quickly realized that I didn’t want to date casually anymore. Just felt empty and too risky. So I tired attention to “just looking for friends”. A lot of women are into that as it takes the pressure off.

You need to do your own healing work. To fix whatever trauma may be lurking about. Time and self work, men’s groups will help lift your self esteem up. You could get on the apps and see what’s out there. Just don’t be discouraged, dating apps are well in women’s favor. Keep giving it time, be real and honest. You don’t want someone who doesn’t want the real you anyway. Warts and all. Just be yourself and put yourself out there. Even though I didn’t like casual, it took me doing it to learn what I wanted. Good luck bro!

probebeta · 2026-01-21T06:00:54+00:00

You'll get through it. I've met beautiful women, improved some areas in my life I was stuck at. With kids, it's hard work but it is possible. Relationships and love? I dont know man, I look at things a bit differently now...

engineered-chemistry · 2026-01-21T03:58:59+00:00

I was in the exact same situation as you. Same age and number of kids and I’m roughly same age as you and married the same length.

There is peace at the end. Peace in silence, although maddening at first. Peace with others, your own hobbies, no more drama. Divorce is the absolute worst. Award’s, I’ve dated a bunch of interesting women, there are good ones out there when you’re ready. Plenty fun to be had with the wrong ones!

I’m actually dating a woman that lives walking distance from my house that I went on a date to the movies with 29 years ago. We ran into each other at the grocery store randomly and she said “hey, I know you from somewhere” and we spent 20mins trying to figure out where. Divorced, one kid in my daughter’s grade and school, professional, super sweet, very pretty and we have a bunch of mutual friends too. The universe is a big place…and small at the same time!

When one door closes, others open. That being said, I will never marry again for sure.

Tonyalarm · 2026-01-21T02:28:09+00:00

Yes, there is hope. Many men rebuild strong, meaningful lives after divorce, even in their 40s with kids. This pain is temporary, not permanent. Focus first on healing, being present for your children, and stabilizing yourself. Love after divorce happens when you stop chasing the past and rebuild identity, boundaries, and self worth. You are not behind. You are in transition.

UrAristotle · 2026-01-21T02:06:38+00:00

I’m 56. Was married 18 years, together 20. 2 kids still at home for a few more years.

Divorce was final last April. Took about a year. I met a wonderful woman in July and we’ve being seeing what we can build over the last 6 months.

Yes, there is hope.

FoundationNo1696 · 2026-01-21T02:05:32+00:00

I am a 34f just divorced my husband after abuse, we have 3 kids... Don't do the apps it's not the right place for vulnerable freshly divorced people imo. I haven't dated anyone since I was 21. It's actually sad how different things are now.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-01-21T01:54:22+00:00

Same for me, 47, together 15 married 12, 3 kids 6-12. Neither of us cheated but my wife got wicked depressed and health issues and childhood trauma that she put all on me. Marriage therapy was a bust, she gave up. We’re in mediation now. Take time to heal. It’s not a race, no one is competing. I can’t even think about another woman. It’s been four months since she asked for the divorce and it’s a roller coaster. I still cry on swap days and it’s ok!! This impacts everyone. I’m slowly trying to put myself first on my alone days. This sub is a great resource. If you need to vent hit me up in the chat! Therapy can be helpful too. Good luck!

RiseNo3399 · 2026-01-21T01:50:19+00:00

She’s a cheater. Your life will be better without her. I’m over 40 with 4 kids and was married to a dishonest person. You have to become comfortable with yourself now. Don’t define your life success by being in a romantic relationship. “Finding love” isn’t the right motivation; for yourself, find happiness. Once you have happiness and are who you want to be it will be way easier to find romance because you are comfortable in your own skin and don’t need to be validated by someone else.

Salty-Amoeba-3139 · 2026-01-21T01:30:12+00:00

I’m early in the process but I know a lot of old timers who find life/love after divorce. But you’ll have to change it up. You’re not 19 anymore. Don’t look for it in a bar…you’ll get in bad habits and your health will decline quickly. Start thinking about hanging out with women as a grown ass man. What do you like? Sitting on the back deck looking at nature? Find a woman that likes to do that. Or hiking. Fishing. Whatever. I was young when I met my wife. We had nothing in common but she was hot. Been arguing with her ever since. Find someone you won’t argue with because you’re incompatible. I’m going to volunteer for things that matter to me. I expect to meet people who also care about that thing. So now we have something to talk about and partner on. It’s a start

Title	How do you move on
Author	TomTomReyRey
Upvotes	22
Comments	32
Date	January 21, 2026 12:50 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qija2k/how_do_you_move_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you-move-on.1571626 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571626

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