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YesterdayFormal4359 Archive

View 8 posts and 57 comments by YesterdayFormal4359 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

My (44m) divorce started just before my daughter turned 3. She will be 6 in June. I was scared at first too and many a early on handoff resulted in lots of tears. However, the tears eventually stopped and my confidence in raising her grew. I cherish the time I have with her and the bond we have created. All on our own terms, how we want to spend our time together. It’s not perfect and I wish I had her more often. I never imagined being a part time dad, but at least I get to be the dad I want to …
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 08:21 PM
19

I question the moral compass (lack thereof) in any man (in this case the new boyfriend) who would allow himself to be put in that position. Under no circumstances would I accompany a woman/girlfriend into the home she still shares with her ex husband. That is so low class and disrespectful. Of course going through my own drawn out divorce I simply will not ever get involved with a woman who is still going through her own divorce. Stay strong man.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 03:24 AM
2

Buy the bike as long as you can meet your other financial obligations. This past May I did. Came into a little extra money and bought a gently used Ducati V2 Bayliss edition. No regrets! Best part is the only person I had to ask and convince was myself. So I looked in the mirror and said let’s do it!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:38 PM
6

Glad it went well for you. I have my in person pretrial conference tomorrow morning.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 02:47 AM
9

I did, but my confidence in the family court system doing anything about it is not high.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 11:18 PM
5

Mine is between 816-831 depending on the reporting agency.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 07:07 PM
5

I’m a regular at the gym and have a therapist and psychiatrist ensuring I maintain a healthy mental state
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 04:52 PM
3

I wish had something of more comfort and value to say
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 03:11 AM
5

I’m sorry man, that’s really messed up and your ex should face severe consequences. Unfortunately, she probably won’t because of how broken and biased the system is. Stay strong for your daughter (mine is 4.5) and I hope you get to celebrate Christmas with her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 03:08 AM
3

Same boat, stuck in a state I wouldn’t live on otherwise because my daughter (4.5). STBXW’s entire family lives here (she currently moved back in with her parents). Mine are many states away. I also have opportunities with my career to live abroad which I must pass on as well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:22 PM
8

She should not have been able to take a heloc out on her own if you both owned the home. You would’ve had to sign off on it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 03:39 AM
6

Agree as well. For Christmas last year I gifted myself a Dyson cordless stick vacuum. So nice to come home to a clean house after work.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 01:51 PM
3

I know you’re speaking truth, but 18 months into mine with nothing settled and no end date is making holding onto that hope hard. I know it’s gets better I just don’t know when I’ll get there. The struggle in the meantime continues to weigh me down even though I’m doing most of things recommended in this sub. I’m stuck in the perfect storm and it is exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 10:32 PM
3

Yeah since you all are still under the same roof it’s harder. Never disparage mom in front of your child and just be there for your child the best ways you can given the current circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:37 AM
3

I picked up my daughter (4.5) tonight for my weekend with her. This time she “Didn’t want daddy” and “I don’t like daddy”. Been separated from my STBXW for 18 months so this just rolls off my back at this point. It hurt the first few times it happened, but like was already said you can’t take it personal. Cuz about half way home in the car it changed to “I love you dad” and I read her stories in her room while she snuggled up to me before tucking her into bed. Looking forward to another great we…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:14 AM
5

4 years?! I’m only 18 months in and tired of this seemingly unrelenting Groundhog’s Day. My hat is off to you and hope your end comes soon and is a favorable outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:07 AM
4

Definitely try to get some kind of evidence of this absolutely unsafe behavior to present to family court and/or CPS. She doesn’t deserve the title “mother” willfully jeopardizing her own daughter’s life in this manner. If that fails call 911 the next time she drives off with your unbuckled child and involve law enforcement.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 09:57 PM
3

I (43m) also agree narcissism exists on a spectrum and we all exhibit traits occasionally. In fact it has become so much more prolific within society because of social media encouraging it and rewarding it. Which is unfortunate for those of us who are dealing with truly unhealthy narcissistic partners because the term is so deluded now. It’s already very hard to officially diagnose. My divorce has encompassed 18 months thus far with next to nothing accomplished because of her and her families ex…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 01:05 PM
13

I feel you 100%! My divorce has been ongoing for a year and half. I made the mistake of thinking my narc STBXW could be amicable. At this point I want this chapter of my life closed even it means going to trial and risking a less than favorable outcome because the judge assigned to my case is a wildcard. At least I’ll know exactly where I stand and how to rebuild my life around it. The only thing keeping me going is my daughter (4). At my lowest point, blinded by the intense and overwhelming eff…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:40 AM
3

Damn this hits hard as it describes my on going divorce (1.5 years so far) to a T. My STBXW’s mom is the narcissistic puppet master of the family. Her dad is the obedient spineless husband. What’s interesting and makes sense to me now is her dad and I are very much the same personality which when things were good we got along famously. The difference is I finally stood up for myself by attempting to set boundaries which resulted in the demise of my marriage and almost led to me making a permanen…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 09:28 PM
4

Like others have said take full advantage of your freedom of movement. In my career field I have opportunities for overseas positions I always dreamed about taking advantage of. However now that would mean sacrificing my relationship with my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:18 PM
7

I see what you did there, have an upvote
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 10:32 PM
3

All you can control and do right now is be there for the daughter you do have. I hope you get to meet your new baby girl sooner rather than later🙏🏻
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:14 PM
2

I don’t really know what else to say besides I’m sorry you find yourself in this horrible situation. That is some next level cold heartedness. Stay strong and I hope you have some kind of support network to lean on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:02 PM
3

Thanks man! I think it was rewarding just as much mentally as it was physically.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 12:03 PM
2

Sounds like you’re well on the way to transforming your physique!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 04:14 AM
2

Keep up the good work!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 04:13 AM
2

Good for you! Keep after it💪🏻
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:28 AM
2

Awesome man👏🏻
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:32 AM
25

Honestly my money and time will be better spent on a Porsche 911, Ducati, and a Fleshlight. Unless that rare gem of a woman finds me who will ADD value to my life, I’m content remaining single and free while focusing on being the best dad I can be to my little girl (4 today!)
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:27 AM
2

Best of luck man. May we both find peace and happiness on the other side of this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/24 01:35 AM
2

I’ve only spent 10k on my lawyer and my STBXW is on lawyer #2 and has probably paid at least 3x that. I mean her parents have anyway even though she swears she’s paying her own legal bills🙄
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/24 01:31 AM
2

I do have an actual therapist helping me with the heavy emotional lifting. That comment was more lighthearted because she doesn’t embody the typical lawyer stereotype.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:11 PM
4

I will say I was fortunate to find a lawyer who truly understands what I’m up against and is doing her best to help me. While most lawyers charge for every interaction (phone calls, emails, meetings) she does not. Dare I say she’s been my lawyer and part time therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 01:42 AM
5

Child support yes, but we weren’t married long enough for spousal support to be applicable. Found out recently the new remote job she took after we separated that her weekly take home pay is more than mine. So as long as her parents let her live with them rent free she is living high on the hog with no incentive to end this. Hence the decision I made today. It was the only way to take back control.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:49 AM
5

She left our marital home and moved in with her parents almost a 100 miles away with our daughter. Unfortunately she did this before I filed. I was out of state at a mental health facility getting some long overdue help for my depression and anxiety after I almost chose a permanent solution to the temporary problem of our crumbling marriage. She led me to believe she would remain by my side until she told me over the phone the night before my flight she no longer wanted to be married to me. I re…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:44 AM
3

I’m a year into my divorce with no end in sight. Attempted mediation 3 times with zero results. Afraid mine is going to be one of those divorces that will need to go to trial to settle. My STBXW is too damn stubborn, immature, and for lack of a better term stupid to come to a mutually acceptable resolution we decide and agree upon instead of a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 06:53 PM
8

April 25th, 2023 is when my 2nd chance began. The only reason it did is because while sitting in my car alone down a dirt road that morning I picked up the phone instead of pulling the trigger. Please reach out for help. Like others have said, a permanent solution to a temporary problem is not the way. My almost 4 year old daughter just came into my bedroom and woke me up. I look back and can’t believe I almost gave up on her. Stay with us brother! You have a child who needs you too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 12:05 PM
3

Instead of “I’m broken” say “This is what happened to me”. There is a great book called ‘What Happened To You’ by Dr. Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey. I got it on audio in which the two of them narrate it. It has a lot of interesting insights into childhood trauma. Helped me look inward and realize I am not broken, but experienced things that left lifelong scars I am now finally working on healing better from.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 09:17 PM
1

I think was unclear in my original description, but I am on the title/deed and the mortgage is in my name. The STBXW is only on the title/deed which will require a quit claim to remove her name.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 08:27 PM
3

Hang in there man!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 03:17 AM
1

Maybe I wasn’t completely clear; we are both on the title, but only I am on the mortgage. Therefore it should be pretty straightforward to remove her from the title. She is not fighting at all for the house. She just wants her payday.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 07:25 PM
2

From a quick google search, Florida is not a dower state or community property state. I am trying to remain optimistic that we can settle custody and all asset division in mediation and avoid dragging this to court.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:46 PM
2

While I cannot predict the future, my intention is to stay in this house until my daughter is grown. I have stable employment here and love the area I live in. I am weighing the benefits of having my half of the current equity upfront with the cash-out option. Doing so would allow me to come out of this debt free except for my mortgage. Downside of course is if the housing market bubble bursts again I’ll find myself upside down on the house. Which then has me thinking maybe a HELCO would be bett…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 04:06 PM
1

My understanding is since the mortgage is only in my name, I don’t need to refinance just to remove her from the title. Had she been a co-signer on the loan then I would have to refinance.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 03:59 PM
1

Well I applaud you for seeking out a therapist. No matter how little or how much you get out of therapy I hope it provides you with some new life skills and tools. One step at a time, one day at a time. If you are a man of God may He provide you comfort and compassion in your time of need and on your journey of healing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:36 AM
2

Glad you are still with us. I won’t pretend to understand all the intricacies of your situation, but checking out of your life early is something that cannot be undone. Please reach out for professional help. As a father to 4 daughters you need to exhaust all means and methods of treatment for their sake. You have more support then you realize by posting here. That was your cry for help and it has been heard. You are not alone! You have value! You are worthy of love! You are not perfect and that…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:13 AM
13

I (42) had my breaking moment in April of this year. Drove my car to the most isolated meaningless spot I could find. Loaded gun in the glovebox. Luckily instead of putting it to my head and pulling the trigger I answered my phone and talked to my younger brother (40). Taking his call was the first step in my healing journey. I finally got the help for my life long battle with depression I so desperately needed. I’m still a work in progress and it’s been a rough year. I’m 6 months separated from…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:31 AM
12

Sorry man, that’s rough. No one deserves to be lied to and treated like that, especially by your significant other.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 10:52 PM
2

Sorry man, hard to understand the mindset of a woman who’d not reach out to her own daughter. She doesn’t deserve the title of mother. This is my first Thanksgiving since we separated in June. Luckily I just picked up my daughter (3..5) for the weekend. My emotions have been more intense than I was expecting, but trying to remember how much I still have to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your daughter and all the other men who unfortunately find themselves on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 09:30 PM
5

Looking forward to getting there eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:45 AM
4

One of mine is opening the blinds on the four bedroom windows in the morning letting the natural light fill the room. STBXW would be happy living in a dark cave.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:23 AM
3

I am currently on a flight to visit my family back where I grew up. Tuesday of this week I was sitting in my car middle of nowhere with a gun in my glovebox ready to end it all because my depression had me convinced I had no more purpose in this world. I had no value. I was a burden. Fortunately, I have a stronger support network of family and friends then the depression was allowing me to see. They were able to drop me a life line and pull me out of the deepest darkest place I never want to be …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 06:29 PM
4

That completely different person after the kids is exactly what I experienced. We only have the one, but your story resonates with me 100%. I am in the midst of the fallout trying to see where all the pieces have landed. If this is truly the end or there is a chance of us working through it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 09:31 PM
2

I understand your pain. That same pain is crippling me right now. I don’t know how to make it stop or take it away. I believe everyone that says it will get better. Not sure I possess the strength to get there. I don’t have any answers for you, but know you are not alone in your struggles. I hope we both find our way out of this darkness.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 07:35 AM
2

Keeping going for one more day, just not sure how many days I have left in me. Don’t wish the way I feel on anyone. Supposedly it gets better, but I have been hopelessly chasing better most of my life. True happiness has always remained elusive for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 01:06 AM
3

Your post finally broke open my emotions. I’m in tears sitting in my car w/ the means to end it all in the glovebox. 41m, my marriage and relationship of almost a decade in the midst of being over. I’ve battled depression my entire life. Not sure I have the strength to carry on anymore. Convinced the world and everyone in my life is better off without me. How did I ever expect someone else to love me when I have never loved myself? Not sure I even understand what love is or am capable of it. I g…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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