STBXW boyfriend confirmed

divorceCourtisABiz · 2025-06-13T23:30:27+00:00

Youre doing it wrong buddy. You are still hurt and have not healed. You wont win until you move on and have a tonne of fun. Your daughter will be happy for you if you do move on. Your life with her would be better if youre happy. Dont worry about her new paramour. He will come and go if she is all that you think she is. Dont talk about them to your kid. Let her grow up and see you happy. Trust me her mommy tries 100% to convey how happy she is.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-06-13T20:56:14+00:00

Lying under oath is a serious issue. Tell your lawyer - or is divorce already final?

clvitte · 2025-06-13T18:10:54+00:00

Happy is better than first

hotantipasta · 2025-06-13T13:35:52+00:00

Finish the divorce then take some time to heal then date if you feel up to it. Embrace indifference with her, she's not going to be your wife, you should treat the whole relationship as a business transaction from here on out. The business is raising your kid, everything else is just noise. Work on yourself, go to the gym, find a hobby. DOn't seek validation through someone else.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-06-13T12:49:53+00:00

You are a married man, why would you find someone new? Take care of business and then give yourself time to heal and rebuild (2 years or so). The only women who are going to be ok getting involved with a marreid man are not going to be healthy whatsoever. People mistakenly think time separated is the same as time after divorce. Divorce hits differently and you won't even begin to heal until you are no longer married.

It is not a competition with your ex. Don't worry one bit what she is doing, or who she is doing it with. The next 2-3 years are about you and your daughter. You have the whole rest of your life after that to have plenty of lovers.

Boglehead101 · 2025-06-13T10:37:11+00:00

Snakes with tits

SpacemanLost · 2025-06-13T07:41:47+00:00

A quick lesson. OP.

It's actually a good thing you have not been on a single date. Because I guarantee that if your STBX found out you were doing what she has been doing all along, she would attempt to weaponize it against you any way possible, and a few ways that aren't possible.

Especially regarding custody of your young daughter. You can count on it somehow being twisted in court to reduce your parenting time, and despite any mandatory classes where both of you are instructed to leave your kids out of your conflict, you can bet she will say things to her like "Daddy's new GF is why mommy and Daddy aren't together anymore". In order to maintain her sense of 100% innocent victim, and to extract the pounds of flesh from you she knows she is owed, she will move heaven and earth and lie so hard it will make a career politician blush. I've seen this waaay too many times.

Not to mention that it wouldn't be above her to try and track down any woman you date, her family or friends, and try to throw a grenade in your budding relationship. Seriously, I've lost count of how many newly divorced women expect their ex's to remain not only chaste and single, but to still somehow be there for them to turn to whenever they need something. And they usually believe they have a right to know all the intimate details about anyone you are seeing, while they don't have to disclose anything, and that they have final approval / veto power over what you do with your own life post divorce. It's bizarro world logic, but it happens. A lot.

So wait until the ink is dry on the decree and everything is detangled and your ex can no longer demand things from you. Also keep your daughter in the dark about your dating (you can expect that your ex will pump her for information after every visitation) until things between you and new lady are serious and sold enough to endure any crap-storm your ex might attempt to throw at you in addition to all the usually issues it can cause your children to see someone coming in and then leaving their lives.

daniel22mckee · 2025-06-13T05:42:51+00:00

She was ready to go when you guys first started having problems. You’re still processing this. That would be my guess. Stay positive do it you have to to take care of yourself mentally.

OogyBoogy_I_am · 2025-06-13T04:46:45+00:00

You have been seen and heard mate.

Just think though - she is now some other poor guys problem and problem she will be. And pretty soon she'l no longer be your problem at all.

Co-parent with her, never give her the time of day and just get on with your life. The whole charade she is putting you through will be over before you know it.

divorcedbp · 2025-06-13T03:35:12+00:00

This sucks, and I know it hurts for you, but console yourself with the realization that her secret boyfriend has no idea what he’s gotten himself into, that poor bastard.

Wingnut8888 · 2025-06-13T03:23:51+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this too. My ex has been at it for so long I now welcome it when she leaves for her weekend overnights and was disappointed when she told me she isn’t going this weekend. It’s so hard at first though, like the last twist of the knife in your heart. Everything she has done to me, every cruelty big and small, I would never have dreamed of inflicting upon her. But what it shows is that this is now irrevocable and a final betrayal of her vows to you. She’s gone now, and the sooner you can get away from her and put distance between you, physically and emotionally, the better off you will be.

PhysicsHenchman · 2025-06-13T02:08:58+00:00

Just wait. Do things the right way. Finish the divorce, do your best to heal, and then move on to date. You will be much happier with the results.

It sucks. It all sucks. This is not a club most of us expected. But I am much more satisfied in my current relationship than I could ever be in my marriage. I’m still working on healing and improving- that’s a lifelong battle. I still have triggers that I have to deal with, but it is so much easier with a partner who is willing to work with me.

Your daughter will need the a good model for relationships to follow. This is not it. Keep that in mind. Unfortunately, my daughter have a lot of trauma to process and work through to find healthy relationship. Children will seek after what is familiar- don’t let that be the chaos that envelops your life now.

Stay strong, brother.

That1TimeN99 · 2025-06-13T02:08:48+00:00

My friend, let me tell you something. It’s going to sting for a while. You are being victimized and yet you are being portrayed as the bad guy. In her eyes you are the bad guy. You are NOT the bad guy. You’re absolutely right. This dude does not know what’s coming. Exes are exes for a reason. Let her go. She does NOT deserve you.

Do not think you won’t find someone new. That someone will be 1000x better than her. Trust the process. You’ll get there. I’ve been there. My GF is EVERYTHING that my ex is not. It took me a while, but I found the one. Finally. Your time is coming. Be patient. It’s going to hurt. I know. But I promise you, soon you will be at peace and living your best life.

All-Rounder21 · 2025-06-13T02:06:42+00:00

Same boat with ya man.

Title	STBXW boyfriend confirmed
Author	YesterdayFormal4359
Upvotes	26
Comments	19
Date	June 13, 2025 2:00 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1la4bou/stbxw_boyfriend_confirmed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbxw-boyfriend-confirmed.1554605 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554605

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