TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

believeitalways Archive

View 12 posts and 86 comments by believeitalways on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Your insights are very valuable, thank you! Mediation was completed almost 2 years ago, agreed to 50/50 plan. Ex says now recent circumstances justify changing plan. All about the monthly cash flow with her, control and saving face. You say hard for ex to justify 50/50. You mean to change the 50/50 plan? So, she’ll make things up to make me out to be a bad father, weaponizing kids, especially oldest. Eg., kids call mom to complain about something, my video gaming got paused, I don’t like dinner,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 12:13 AM
1

Thank you! The kids will speak directly with judge.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 12:46 AM
1

Thank you! Are you an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 12:45 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:54 PM
2

Thanks for your reply. Pulling a kid out of high school and one entering high school doesn’t seem to be in the best interests of the kids. Kids are in a good groove here. Ex will try to make me out as a bad parent because of texting and calling kids do to ex because I parent my kids vs. being their friend, the fun parent. Appreciate your thoughts!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:54 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 05:38 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 05:37 AM
1

Yes, I got 50/50 parenting time. Everyone I talk to says they’ve never heard of any divorce settlement asking for a mortgage equalization payment. Rather than roll the dice with what the judge decides, I figure to accept her higher appraised home value which will give her more equity and I get to assume the mortgage. She is asking me to sign over her joint vehicle title so she can trade it in now due to costly needed repairs. She wants a sizable down payment that she wants to withdraw from our j…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 04:38 AM
1

Thanks for your reply. She moved out of the house on her own and has not paid on the mortgage since moving out, and in fact, her prior attorney sent correspondence indicating STBXW wouldn’t be asking for the house. So now mortgage rates have gone up considerably and she wants me to pay her for it. My current mortgage is assumable with a much lower rate - all of which I secured with refinancing over the years when married. Any further perspective on how this? Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 01:10 PM
1

Our mortgage is assumable. Wife moved out thinking she can get another house but mortgage rates are much higher now. So, she is asking in her offer for me to pay her a monthly mortgage rate equalization payment since our assumable mortgage is 3.5% and she has to get a 7% mortgage rate. We are going to trial over the financial assets. Already agreed on a parenting plan. What will a judge think of her crafty financial mortgage equalization payment ask? Thanks for your thoughts!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 06:53 AM
1

Our mortgage is assumable. Wife moved out thinking she can get another house but mortgage rates are much higher now. So, she is asking in her offer for me to pay her a monthly mortgage rate equalization payment since our assumable mortgage is 3.5% and she has to get a 7% mortgage rate. We are going to trial over the financial assets. Already agreed on a parenting plan. What will a judge think of her crafty financial mortgage equalization payment ask? Thanks for your thoughts!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 06:44 AM
1

My ex wants a monthly mortgage stipend based on when she buys a house if the mortgage is 1% and higher for her home purchase, than our current home’s interest rate, which I would buy her out on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 06:17 AM
1

She could have stayed and fought for the house which has a great rate, and assume that mortgage. No need to refi. Now she is bothered that I could assume it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 06:53 AM
1

After doing some investigation, I can assume the current mortgage which has a lower rate. She willingly moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 04:20 AM
1

Yes, the mortgage interest rate differential is such BS and she is scrambling to grab all she can. She’s walking away with a lot of value in jewelry that was a “gift”. Does she say you herself, she should give on something? Nope, she is a financial vampire.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:22 AM
1

We did mediation for parenting plan - we both have 50/50 and joint decision making. We are not doing mediation for the financial piece. I made offer 7 months ago, she switched attorney’s and finally made a counter offer which I am not accepting because it’s not balanced/fair. She wants a monthly stipend on her new mortgage rate to buy a home because rates are higher now compared to the rate on our home that I am in and will buy her out. If I have to give up home I will. Final status hearing in 1…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 04:59 PM
3

I am going through this income proportional issue for expenses now. I make more than my STBXW- she is asking for 58% (me) to her 42%. Help me understand how saying a 50/50 split is best for the kids is a valid argument to get 50/50? Is it valid to say, I make more than her, yes, but I pay more taxes too, and I don’t make that much more to justify not having a 50/50 split. Btw, I make 27% more than STBXW Thanks for your perspective!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 07:48 AM
1

Why did you marry him?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 05:26 AM
1

Mine STBXW called our good times, “moments”, said they were just moments. Isn’t everything in life a moment or memory? Lol, Crazy, you can’t think logical with someone who is unstable.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 06:44 AM
1

Agree, good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 05:09 AM
1

How do you figure you get 18 months to decide if you want to backtrack? I believe it’s 30 days for the petitioner. After that, if Petitioner withdraws she can easily refile, right?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 05:50 AM
2

I like how you think Ms., spot on with your comments!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 06:59 AM
5

My stbx was more mature when we married. The older she got, the less mature she became and always clamoring about how great her high school years were and not saying boo about her marriage, birth of kids, buying a home, family, you know, something meaningful about us, kids, her family. This coming from a 44 year old woman about how great her high school years were. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 04:49 AM
5

I don’t understand how people can leave on good terms with the destruction of one’s marriage and family. Not saying to fight unnecessarily but certainly not a friend and have the bare minimum of communications as if they are your adversary.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 04:31 AM
1

I told my STBXW she forgot all we achieved together, she was never content, have three kids, achieved a lot financially, healthy, she was never grateful, wanted to keep up with the Joneses. She had a good job too, but she would compare herself to other married women, if she thought she was pretty than them and she had more going for her, she would be jealous of these other women who lived in a bigger home, took extravagant vacations, drove fancy vehicles. She was very hard to please. She hated i…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 01:17 AM
2

In IL I was told assets are frozen when judge finalizes divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 04:56 AM
1

How does the GAL get involved? Just interviews family members, walks through the home periodically, talks with school officials?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 04:47 PM
2

Why did the court favor her to get the house?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 06:54 AM
2

Did she want to move because she knew she would divorce you and wanted to start somewhere fresh and not have the public embarrassment of divorce with those she knew?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 10:54 PM
1

And this happened repeatedly over the last year and never followed up later to take it back or anything. Just continued to see the marriage deteriorate.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 07:57 PM
7

She told me she wanted a divorce for almost a year so then I served her as her actions were not of a spouse who wants to be my wife. So I served her. Then she tells me, just because I said it doesn’t mean I meant it. WHAT!?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 05:25 AM
6

What is wrong with people crapping on others? How do they live with themselves? My STBXW is more concerned about the embarrassment of me filing/serving her, then with saving our 17 year marriage and family of 3 kids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 05:22 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 08:26 AM
1

But if she gets a promotion or I lose my job, could CS then be reduced or eliminated?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 06:03 AM
2

Thanks for your detailed reply!
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 02:10 AM
1

Thanks for your perspective!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 06:37 AM
1

Okay, thanks for your thoughts!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 06:27 AM
1

I believe she just filed a petition for sole possession of home during divorce under the premise invasion of her privacy and her mental well-being. I looked at her phone once when it buzzed and set it down right away. Another occasion she went out late and later while home, left her purse open and I used phone flashlight to look into the top of her purse but never physically went in it. Is it reasonable that a judge could see these examples as justifying her petition to have me leave the home du…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 01:13 AM
1

Thank you for your thorough reply!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 01:12 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 01:09 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 01:09 AM
1

I believe she just filed a petition for sole possession of home during divorce under the premise invasion of her privacy and her mental well-being. I looked at her phone once when it buzzed and set it down right away. Another occasion she went out late and later while home, left her purse open and I used phone flashlight to look into the top of her purse but never physically went in it. Is it reasonable that a judge could see these examples as justifying her petition to have me leave the home du…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 01:07 AM
1

DC claim? Domestic what?
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:50 AM
1

I had my wife served and I gave her no notice. Truthfully, I didn’t know what the right way to go about it was. She had been saying several times every time she was upset at me (usually because our kids were on her nerves or her work, etc) for the prior year that we had no marriage and she wanted a divorce. Do most people use a process server?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 04:37 AM
1

IL
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 05:41 AM
1

Okay so her attorney took you base salary added bonus to it and said this is your permanent annual salary? Thanks friend!
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 04:53 AM
1

My wife too took off her ring once served. I still wear mine and she hates that, tells me to take it off, I AC m like, we’re not divorced. The biggest problem in our marriage is the vast differences with our parenting, she wants to be their friend and I want to be a parent. She let my 12 yo son decide what school is best for him for jr high school. Now she sees the error in that decision. Good luck my friend!
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 06:54 AM
1

Unfortunately my poor kids gotta deal with this mess. We’ll both learn things but I think she’ll have a greater appreciation for how blessed she was with our family. I would tell her this and she never acknowledged it. I talked of being on a budget for years, never entered her mind because we could pay it all off. Now today she goes to buy eggs for $3.50 a dozen and says she’ll just have to make due for the week once she is out of them. I was like, what?! It takes a divorce to get a budget.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 06:40 AM
2

Okay. I make $40k more than her a year but that includes a $15k bonus that is variable and never guaranteed year to year. Just with base salary, I make $25k/yr more than her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 06:31 AM
1

Good question. I saw we were living like roommates, no interest to talk things out, withdrawing from the marriage, fed up with being told multiple times she wants a divorce and never coming back to retract it and say she was sorry for saying that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 06:25 AM
1

Great points, thank you! She tells me I am playing games with her when I tell her I didn’t and don’t want a divorce, I filed and was giving you what you asked for several times. Yet, she tells me just because she said she wants a divorce doesn’t mean she means it. That is a game, imo, not being upfront and talking about things. She goes to counseling and has surrounded herself with a negative girlfriend (married) that is a hard person for most to get along with.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 05:33 AM
1

Thank you for your reply! I’d be willing to try to reconcile but my wife thinks once divorce filed, that’s the end, too public. Said why didn’t I separate, I said, odds of making that work are 5%, she said, that’s still better than zero percent which is what filing for divorce is. The fact she hasn’t taken any responsibility for where things are, blames me for everything, and not fighting for our family, makes me think she wants a divorce, just upset that she can’t control the timing of it. She …
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 05:22 AM
1

Thank you for you thoughts. You divorced then now? My wife talks about our relationship being all bad too and when I bring up happy memories, she says those were “moments”. I am like, isn’t that what a marriage and life are, all moments. She doesn’t realize how blessed her life is with our family and she won’t heed my advice when I tell her that. She always takes the woooo my life is so tough and no one cares about me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 12:10 AM
3

She will vilify me to our three kids, dad filed and is kicking me to the curb, dad broke up our family…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 11:47 PM
6

She works full time and makes a good salary so I am not expecting to pay alimony based on what law says but I will pay child support.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 11:34 PM
2

They’re apart of your life, keep them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 05:21 AM
1

Why not sell them and get some cash for it?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 05:19 AM
1

But we’re past the pandemic. My mediator started F2F. for two meetings and now going to Zoom. It would seem you could communicate better and be received better in a F2F meeting.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 05:26 AM
1

By alternating I mean mom has one weekend and then dad has kids next weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 04:36 AM
2

What time are your transfers during summer break?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 04:33 AM
2

Thanks brother, hang in there and become the best you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 01:54 PM
1

Yes, I go to weekly individual counseling. We still live in the same house. She has told me I should move out and I said, no, I am not doing that. We talk and manage what we need to for the kids. I agree a year is a long time. Plus, experts have told me separating during a crisis is not right and will just create more issues and will end in divorce. Separating is only right if there is physical abuse, which there is not. My wife doesn’t want to own her part where things are, she blames me for ev…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 05:42 AM
1

To me, a healthy way to heal would be for each of us to go and work on ourselves individually (counseling/coaching) and but also work on the marriage together too. Separating for a year is not the answer. Thoughts?
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 05:33 AM
1

How did you lose your chance at reconciliation? I too filed for divorce but only did do because I saw things breaking down with my wife. I would try to talk with her and she would tell me she wanted a divorce. But after being served, she said just because she says it doesn’t me she means it, lol. I didn’t and don’t want a divorce but she hasn’t asked for me to dismiss it. Told me to move out and go get counseling, she is getting counseling now, we can revisit things in 1 year. I said no to that …
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 05:50 AM
2

I will go to practices and games, always, but it’s on my ex to take them to/from when the kids are with her for that day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:25 PM
2

Thanks brother!
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:21 PM
1

Gotcha. Good luck Bro, God be with you!
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 04:23 AM
8

Too close to an ex for me, either stay married or move on. You’re acting like you’re still married, so it’s jacking with you once she goes deep with her beau. I couldn’t handle being a friend with my ex, mother of my children or not. My ex wants me involved running the kids to activities when they’re under her watch, I am like no. When with me, I’ll manage and when they’re with you, you manage them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 04:06 AM
1

So if majority of the year you had joint status, you still file as single status if you’ve divorced and have that status for a smaller portion of the year?
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 03:55 AM
7

My STBX too never appreciated all the work I did outside and inside to make the house run well and look good. Yet I helped to cook and clean too and didn’t complain about it. No appreciation or respect!
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 03:46 AM
2

My STBXW wants me involved with her to get kids to their activities when she has them. I’ve taken the position, when they’re with you, you’re responsible for getting them to activities and vice versa when they’re with me. What do folks think of this position? Fair? I don’t want to see and hear from her everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 04:51 AM
1

So are you happily married? Did you dismiss the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 04:09 AM
1

I am not tracking what you mean? Could you explain further? Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:30 AM
2

Should I set a minimum number of hours before it would be engaged? So, 2or more hours, then call me, otherwise no. I can choose to say no too, right? Just gives me the chance to see my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 02:55 PM
0

With such a small window (2 hours) to engage ROFR, it doesn’t bother you that you know details about your EX’s schedule and all their comings/going’s?
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 02:52 PM
1

So did you have first right of refusal in your agreement? If so, did you set a minimum number of hours they have to be with you to use the clause?
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 04:16 AM
1

No, she works full time. She makes $30K less than me a year.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 05:50 AM
1

No, she works full time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 05:48 AM
1

Thank you for your reply and help!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:33 AM
1

Thank you for your reply and help!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:32 AM
1

Thank you for you perspective and help!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 03:26 AM
1

Thanks for your perspective, I appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 03:23 AM
1

Thanks for you help. 1 week away from my kids seems a lot, especially the 8 year old. Any other ideas on the days per week to come in at day 60% parenting plan for me?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/22 03:47 PM
1

We haven’t discussed parenting plan, too much tension. Just starting mediation next week. Sorry for my ignorance, I am not tracking what you’re saying my starting point should be. EOW, every other week?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/22 03:10 PM
0

What if you meet a wealthy woman who wants to get married? Might that be okay, since your finances wouldn’t get halved again?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 05:31 AM
7

That’s terrible, sorry for your losses. I will be going through that too. I’ve thought deeply about losing all these relationships too. Divorce is awful!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 03:50 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter