Custody Help

derelictherds · 2022-09-16T21:24:38+00:00

You do have a lawyer, right? Search the web for common parenting plans and custody schedules... there are only so many ways one can slice a parenting schedule. Every other week was fine for my kids and me, but I work from home and have a lot of flexibility with my schedule so pretty much anything would've worked for me. I think my kids preferred a weekly rotation because they weren't constantly in-flight between homes. I suggest going with whatever is best for your kids and works for you.

I'm not really sure what you mean by starting point, but assume you're referring to negotiations. I don't agree with taking the "car salesman approach" with custody negotiations because IMO this is mostly only good for stirring up conflict(and billable hours for your attorney). I made it clear to my ex(and my lawyer) that it was 50/50 or bust from the get-go and did not budge. She knew it wasn't a bluff.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-09-16T10:55:15+00:00

A mediator has one job: To get an agreement, not to be fair. They achieve that by leaning on the weaker party. So don't be the weaker party.

Mediation tips: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=46407

50% parenting time for kids that age is super simple: 7 days with mom, 7 days with dad. Transitions are done after school. On transition day, if you drop them off b/c it's your parenting time then the mother picks them up. Rinse and repeat. Alternate holidays with each parent. For example, during odd numbered years the kids are with mom for Christmas and with dad for even numbered years. Don't get too caught up on Hallmark holidays. Focus on the big ones, including spring break.

simjanes2k · 2022-09-17T09:00:30+00:00

Let your attorney guide you.

I have a six year old that I would give up the moon and stars for. I'm still not going into any mediation without legal input. They know the laws of the state and the expected process of divorce and custody here. That's why I hired them.

Trust professionals.

JonathanApple · 2022-09-17T15:21:03+00:00

Did you F up and let her be a stay at home mom? If so do not pass go do not collect 200 do not expect 50/50.

used2befast · 2022-09-16T12:41:11+00:00

You could be starting off at a negotiating disadvantage. What parenting time is the STBX wife wanting to "give" you?. I'd start out offering her EOW and Wed. evenings.

Formal_You6846 · 2022-09-19T15:16:08+00:00

You may want to look at a 5-5-2-2 schedule. Effectively what that does is one of you gets Mondays and tuesdays, the other gets Wednesdays and thursdays, and you alternate weekends. That way you don't spend an entire week away from your kids at any point.

Title	Custody Help
Author	believeitalways
Upvotes	4
Comments	23
Date	September 16, 2022 5:49 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xfizxi/custody_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/custody-help.1132833 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132833

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