[US] filing

Rough-Area4765 · 2022-10-16T18:12:26+00:00

Judges don't care. They want you of the docket as quickly as possible and onto the next. They want the assets split and one side to pay child support. The smear campaign is normal. Get used to it. She is not happy now and trying to play with your head.

Stick with the divorce. It will get uglier, but you'll be better off. Expect the worst to still come out.

captainchippsixx · 2022-10-16T20:11:55+00:00

You can stop a divorce at any time up for the most part. But if you can’t move together in the right direction to figure it out (counseling etc) then you keep. Moving forward.

My ex did the same thing, wanted a divorce and in my head I wasn’t going to go back if we spoke to the kids. I was subjugated to sleep downstairs and we told the kids. Then is said fuck it. She is killing me literally killing me with this life I couldn’t take it anymore. No support or respect. Then she says she changed her mind. I said too fucking late for that. Try to have sex with me etC. But I was beyond pissed on who she treated me before and during the divorce decision.

So. Just really decide are you going to be happy. But be prepared for her to say she didn’t want it and the. Surprise she hits with everything all at once. Watch the bank accounts and credit cards.

Gattsama · 2022-10-16T21:50:54+00:00

Do you, but I would recommend you proceed and do not retract your filing. She said what she wanted and you gave it to her. Magical thinking and straight up lying with this "I didn't mean what I said" BS is modern women 101 = can not accept responsibility.

My STBX and I were together for 17 years, married 12+ years, no kids. She has constantly complained that she has nothing (emotionally), I am a horrible husband, a love vampire that sucks all joy from her life, we have zero happy memories as everything is ruined by me, threatening termination, name calling, dead bed since summer 2019, etc.

Oct 2021 we have yet another low level BS fight and she told me to leave, tool her ring off and said not to come back until my vows mean something. I asked to move into the guest room, and let's try the roommate or not interacting thing; but she said no. So I moved out, and a few days later tool my ring off. Long story short 3 weeks later I told her I don't think we are romantically compatible and should terminate.

She said she never wanted the relationship to end. She asked me to leave and took off her ring to demonstrate how serious things were, and to get me to think. Ie it was another manipulation tactic. I was suppose to leave, freak out, and then come back with my tail between my legs ready to be obedient. She talked me into one more try, and then the lovd bombing began. She keep that up for about 3 months before reverting back to everything is my fault, make ultimatums and taking her ring off again. I filed Feb 2021.

Long story short since the she cut me off completely, refuses to talk, lawyer-ed up, and the brief interactions we have says she never wanted a divorce. When ibask her about things I requested in the relationship to make use work she says she doesn't remember and wasn't listening. Says she was to upset to hear me. When I ask how in 17 years can we not have one happy memory she says well at the time I would also do something to ruin the purity of the event so nothing was truly happy.

Bottom line, she is a manipulating liar. You can't trust of believe what she says. Her actions, words and reported thoughts do not line up. I don't know your situation but suspect she was using the treat of divorce to get you to comply in the relationship. And now that you are listening to her and want out, she is lying again to say or do anything necessary to keep you in the relationship.

She doesn't want you. After all she already had you. What she wants is an 'ATM & Handyman 3000'. When step outside of that role you get drama, threats and manipulation. We don't have kids so it's a easier for me. But since walking away from that drama I have never been more peaceful and stress free.

The courts don't care who filed. But let me add this, I think I matters a lot that you did. I think my decision to file started me on a path of self improvement and accountability. I think a lot of guys here the wife filed on them and that's a huge psychological blow. I say continue to take control of your life and do not retract your petition.

Good luck and stay safe...

XavierMalory · 2022-10-16T20:54:07+00:00

Comments before mine sum it up pretty well, but I’ll add my opinion too.

There are some bells you just can’t “unring”, and this is one of them. Her saying, “she didn’t mean it” is bullshit.

No one with maturity who cares about you or the family would ever say something so earth-shattering if they didn’t mean it, and on the off chance your STBXW is in fact this childish, you should’ve left years ago.

Keep going forward and prepare for a fight. As the saying goes, “You never truly know a person’s dark side until you face them in court.”

Plenty_Situation_132 · 2022-10-16T23:30:47+00:00

I’m going to differ with many opinions here. If she said it but didn’t mean it then she was saying it because she need to get your attention and she obviously isn’t happy about something. You have 17 years with 3 kids at great ages. Do whatever you have to including therapy with her or separately to work through whatever needs to. You do NOT want to get divorced if the marriage has a chance. Many many marriages go through hell and back that get on the brink of divorce but they work through it. I personally know 5 couples who went through that hell and years later told me it was the hardest lowest point of their marriage and they didn’t think they’d make it, but coming out the other end is what brought them closer than anything in their marriage ever could have. You do not want to miss 50% of your kids lives if you can put this back on the rails.

GodOfAngeles · 2022-10-16T21:31:42+00:00

If your ex don’t speak badly about you , either she is insane or you are equal to Gandhi! Both are not possible in this world

Stalkmoney · 2022-10-16T23:44:41+00:00

To answer your question no, the judge won't care. I would suggest you do anything you reasonably can to save your marriage. While you are trying to save your marriage it may be in your best interest to put yourself in the best of all possible positions if divorce inevitably happens. In other words, hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

cryptus-maximus · 2022-10-17T00:12:21+00:00

Honor all threats. She's told you multiple times, what was so different about the last time she said that compelled you to actually do it?

fishingforthought · 2022-10-16T22:00:02+00:00

When a woman brings up the “D” word you better believe her. If she said it several times she has already thought it through. Probably has already run the “play” several times. Wishing you good luck.

henrysmyagent · 2022-10-17T00:31:02+00:00

A long time ago your wife started thinking in terms of what was best for her only; you, the kids and the family as a whole be damned!

Start thinking about what is best for you and the kids, because your wife sure as hell isn't!

She is not your wife anymore. She is not your friend anymore. All she is now is your opponent in an expensive lawsuit and custody battle.

Significant_Idea_663 · 2022-10-17T03:42:49+00:00

She is a narcissistic prick. Please tell her your internet friend said so.

Get ready to fight for your freedom. Same story here! Right now, mine wants “reconciliation “ whilst at the same time, she is currently engaged in the worst smear campaign against a human being imaginable.

. At the same time she was crying and wanting us to do counseling again to save “ the marriage”. Of course now I am in “counseling” but that doesn’t stop anything for me. OP, at first, I thought you were talking about my wife. Stop talking to her about divorce and let your lawyer do the talking.

Title	[US] filing
Author	believeitalways
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	October 16, 2022 6:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/y5ne90/us_filing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/us-filing.1135348 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135348