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cj_aubrey Archive

View 7 posts and 527 comments by cj_aubrey on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I think I need to find some time to travel alone. Someone told me Bangkok is nice. Monogamy is not really fair to either of us. A change of scenery perhaps then.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 05:23 PM
3

The rules of acceptable behavior in human interaction are determined by dominance. Notice this girl rejected OP but coerced him into remaining friends Being friends = he provides the emotional availability and attention she wants and she has zero obligation to provide the sex he wants. He challenges this arrangement and she reasserts dominance by withdrawing the approval he needs from her. Logic, facts and decency have nothing to do with this interaction. Its all about dominance.
/r/TheRedPill18/06/16 08:38 AM
1

I vote omega. In an LDR she gets your emotional availability, attention and commitment remotely via skype/phone. But because of lack of physical proximity you get no sexual availability from her. Interesting question as to whether agreeing to an LDR is, in and of itself, such a DLV that it greatly increases the chance she'll cheat.
/r/TheRedPill18/06/16 04:53 AM
2

There is strong vulnerability and weak vulnerability. Kind of. I would argue that the appropriate communication to a woman regarding any of my fear or pain is "shrug Its fine. I'm going to the gym, I'll see you later." But, something that could be called Strong Vulnerability is actually better termed something like "undefended-ness". Like your communicating "that bullshit doesn't even matter". This is the basis of much alpha game and shit test responses. For example, Plate: I have a new personal…
/r/TheRedPill17/06/16 06:52 PM
1

Or something worse.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 04:53 PM
1

Hmmm...if someone acts like a pussy for strategic, not emotional, reasons...is it still pussy faggot bullshit? Not sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 04:52 PM
5

I should have been clearer. I meant solving problems like fixing flat tires and broken shit around the house. Completely agree that you can lead but you can't solve her personal problems for her.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 03:00 PM
4

Women react to male vulnerability with disgust. If you attempt to get emotional support from your woman, she will take it as weakness. This will scare her and she will attempt to use it to dominate you in response. Look at any bluepill man who seeks emotional support from his woman and gets shit tested half to death in response. If you need to lean on someone, lean on your friends. Gospel. This is a critical role of male friends.
/r/TheRedPill17/06/16 12:25 PM
1

Anyhoo, BP man needs the respect, validation, kindness, sexual availability... and even worse, needs them from his wife. Agreed. This is one of the core problems with the dynamic and why the wife is almost always solidly dominant over their bluepill husbands in these situations.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 12:04 PM
13

In order to give women equal legal rights, institutionalized male dominance was dramatically reduced. People try to apply this principle in all areas of life since it seems beneficial and modern. They never considered that eliminating male social dominance in individual romantic relationships might have some unintended consequences, like destroying female attraction. They can't admit intellectually entertain the possibility that this is the real problem because they think it would mean endorsing…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 09:38 AM
2

So no matter how hard I go at dread she literally has no response Dread is mostly a stick that motivates (subtly, or not in your case) through pressure. You need to also offer a carrot that she wants to hold on to, or you're just beating on someone with a stick of threatened infidelity or abandonment. So no matter how hard I go at dread she literally has no response. She has gone as far as being convinced that I'm cheating on her whilst emotionally distancing myself but I still get literally no …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 09:01 AM
2

The biggest takeaway is the lack of approval. This is critical. If a man needs approval he will be beta. Trading an alpha's social acceptance for a beta's compliance is the basic equation of dominance in herd animals. In human romantic relationships this takes the form of a woman pressuring a man to do her will with criticism and withholding her approval (being mad). If a man cannot go without her approval and tell her to fuck off, he'll always be beta to her, and to other men.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 08:35 AM
1

HIM , Not approval seeking, AND(not OR) has other sexual options Equals HER, Provided (unneeded) approval, AND(not OR) Sexually available I think thats the bare minimum but in some situations men need to offer more than this. Not needing approval is a requirement for social dominance. A husband having other sexual options drives social proof, dread and a form of pressure on a wife. But I think not needing approval and dread alone doesn't do it for everyone. I think some men need to proactively a…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 08:28 AM
2

There's only one buyer, unless you're willing to incur a large amount of risk or cost. You can't just openly go find other buyers easily if your one buyer isn't willing to trade, as you would spinning plates or selling publicly traded stocks. This skews the power dynamics associated with pricing and makes the market illiquid. My background isn't finance, but I think that analogy holds.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 09:01 PM
1

For sure - success is a trophy, failure is an education, which do I prefer? Maybe my favorite line from The Obstacle is the Way.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 06:20 PM
2

Anything valuable in life involves a lot of losses before a win, a lot of noes on the way to yes. One of the most valuable lessons is how to lose (repeatedly) and keep going. Man up is absolutely what our sons need to learn.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 05:31 PM
3

I am wondering if you guys had similar experiences with your wives. Yes. How did you handle it? Focus on adding value to her life - but do it like a strong dominant man who shows her great things, not a placating beta that brings her flowers and butterfly kisses.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 04:52 PM
3

As long as you need her approval that much, you will be beta because she'll always be able to ransom her approval to you in exchange for your compliance/submission. This is relevant and important to women because, if she can control you with approval, so can everyone else and you'll be beta to them too. This was a shit test, but not the normal kind. It sounds like she wanted to fuck you but thought she better test to see if you'd actually let go of this weakness. Looks like she got her answer. L…
/r/askMRP16/06/16 04:32 PM
4

Second this OP. Divorce is probably the right move. But that's not the main problem. If you divorce, use the office girl to feel better and don't fix yourself, then its a near certainly that you'll be back here posting the same shit about office girl in a couple years.
/r/askMRP16/06/16 02:42 PM
2

Ask yourself why her opinion has the ability to effect you like that. What are you trying to get from her opinion that makes it more important than sex?
/r/askMRP16/06/16 02:34 PM
1

This is how people treat non-dominant, beta men. I know, I know, it's not supposed to be like that. When you were little someone told you that if you were just nice to everyone, you would get what you needed and be alright. Let me guess, that speech was followed by that person (teacher, parent?) giving you a list of things you needed to do for them (not demand things? be quiet?) as part of your new generosity. This was a trick and a lie. In the adult world how people treat you will be determined…
/r/askMRP11/06/16 04:42 PM
7

I'd add an element Add Value to Your Team Everyone joins a team and follows a leader because they think they are better off in the team than alone, and they do this voluntarily. What you describe above is the mechanics of leading but you have to be giving them something in exchange for their submission. When we were bluepill losers we at least gave our wife choreplay, emotional availability, secure commitment and other bp bullshit. New guys come in, unplug, stop being compliant, and things get a…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 04:51 PM
3

Solipsism. Speak for yourself I should have been clearer. OP, when I'm horny as shit I feel a very strong desire for a woman's company. After we fuck I feel much less desire to spend time with her. This is what I thought you were describing. If so, I think thats normal or at least common as I have heard many men share a similar sentiment and heard many women complain about it.
/r/askMRP10/06/16 03:10 PM
2

After I get what I want and the "love" fades away, I can't behave in a way that an LTR would deserve. This is normal in men. We had an awesome sex, after that we had a shower where she wanted to hugging a lot. I wanted to leave the shower, she wanted me to stay there. And it really made me angry, Also normal. You want sex, she wants attention. Learn to ration what you give to reward her good behaviour. Don't apologise for wanting less cuddling than she does. She has great impact on me. If she bi…
/r/askMRP10/06/16 11:58 AM
1

Good job holding frame in the face of an onslaught of shit tests. Lets see if that settles the matter of whether you have to have another one with a divorce threat.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 02:15 AM
4

So she blows you wearing a dog collar but won't fuck? And she hates being seduced or you stimulating her. I am still trying to figue out how to frame a sex request so she feels she is denying herself. Tell her she's been a bad girl and needs to be punished.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 02:29 PM
1

I tell her this conversation is over until she can speak to me with respect. If she continues screaming, you just contemptuously attack her for behaving like a child. Dismissively suggest that your kids tantrum behavior was learned from your wife. If the MIL chimes in, dismissively throw some at her about where your wife learned it from.
/r/askMRP09/06/16 07:14 AM
3

Shit I don't own yet I'm sure I'll find something. Shit I'm starting to own Sex Life: No big fights or travel last week. Had sex once. Even more enthusiastic than last time. We're now pretty steady at once a week which isn't bad considering the energy our 3 kids take. But in addition to the low frequency, she isn't as into it as I want. I will begin going more and more SGM stuff and hopefully we'll get to the point where she loves it too. Seduction: I continue to consistently kino, tease and gam…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/16 03:43 PM
1

Understand that this is really about her trying to maintain her right to make decisions for you, as that's the core of dominance. She is asserting her right to decide 1) how keys need to be dealt with 2) that she gets to decide that for you (most importantly). You need to simply refuse to let her make either or both of those decisions and resist the ways that she will pressure you to allow her to make those decisions. The tactics she will use to pressure you include anger, shame, logic, disappro…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 03:48 AM
2

She has had no chance to see new me in past few months, except that I am withdrawn and only communicate logistics, and don't get angry or indulge her in verbal fights. You need to get to the point where you add value to her life (leadership, attraction) and demand what you want (sex, respect, submission) in exchange. The first step is to stop asking her for bluepill emotional bullshit (validation, approval, emotional support). The next step is to take her out of the driver's seat by not letting …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 03:34 AM
1

Embrace the pain, because it will make your stronger. The Obstacle is the Way should be added to the sidebar. This concept is so central to what we do here.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 03:20 AM
1

Anyway, during the meal process, she looks away from her phone long enough to say "for what you paid to get this food, we could have gone out for dinner." This is an irrational lie. [SHIT TEST] I'd go with - Ha, its kind of cute when you talk nonsense about things you know nothing about.
/r/askMRP05/06/16 02:18 PM
6

WTF? So I'm sitting there on the couch thinking, why she gotta piss on me after all I did for her today. She was impressed with what you did and wanted to see if that was a fluke or whether you're actually changing into a stronger man. So she tests.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 02:01 PM
2

The rhetoric only hurts the egos of weak minded faggots. OP, the criticism is a litmus test of your ego fragility and frame. If the words of internet strangers can hurt you and effect your own value perception of yourself, they have exposed a weakness (generally ego) for you to look at and work on. Your wife's criticism will have the same effect and she will be able to intimidate your into beta submission. Stick around and you'll get to the point where you can read a torrent of criticism from so…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/16 04:19 AM
2

A man makes his own decisions and does what he thinks is right for him as man. He needs very little from other individuals and consequently has no reason to allow them to make decisions for him.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 04:46 AM
1

Great post. One of the critical elements of this that you point out is that men really need to look closely at their motivation and what they believe morally, which I totally agree with. I propose that breaking your own moral code is where the harm comes in Violating your moral code to get an ego boost is weak as fuck. Prostitution on the down-low is Ego junkfood. Its definitely junkfood, although I'm not sure its purely ego junkfood. Is fucking hot young women fun only for ego reasons? I think …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 03:26 AM
1

Best part of sex is a woman's submission and prostitutes dont do that. Agree that this is a legit downside.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 05:12 PM
2

So sometimes I pick one up for a few bucks. Precisely. Its just pizza so it doesn't make you cool or anything and anyone can order pizza, so no one should think its going to change their life. And its not going to have as much love in it as if you'd made it from scratch or be as familiar as what's at home in your fridge. Its also pretty rich so eating that delivery pizza everyday isn't a healthy long term solution that you'd want to make a habit. But fuck its tasty because they find the best piz…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 04:59 PM
1

If I remember your post correctly, you posited this as a possible solution to the problem of wife not being interested in sex. My original post was unclear and I've edited it: some cultures consider it to be a solution to this problem, I do not, and MRP does not either. Its a solution to the "having sex with hot young women is fun but inconvenient and time consuming" problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 04:30 PM
1

they think either that prostitution is morally wrong or that it means they are of low value and can't get laid any other way. Both of those arguments are non-sequitur here. These are important points. There are very possibly implications to self esteem in using prostitutes, but that is dependent on context. If people's self esteem is effected by external sources (like women) they should fix that.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 04:16 PM
3

So take some pride in yourself. if you are the prize, then people should be investing in you, right? Neither my value nor my pride are effected by silly women, paid or otherwise. I am the prize. But I don't want women other than my wife to invest in me because then they'll expect a return on that investment in terms of my time, energy or commitment. When you pay for something, you control it and it happens on your terms. And that makes it much more convenient.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 04:12 PM
1

if you want to pay for sex, thats cool. Its a lot of fun too. if we are going to stick to MRP here, it should not be a substitute for your wife The whores are a bit of trivial fun and a passing luxury. The only thing they have in common with my wife is me. They'll never be a substitute for anything except for other pass times I enjoy.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 03:56 PM
1

I thought your analysis was solid, even if I disagree with some of it and have a pass from my wife. But in your comment to Stone you made a good point that I should have been clearer that this is my opinion on a contested issue and not an MRP consensus position. I've edited that part of the post.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 03:52 PM
1

The initial post discusses the merits of the idea that: "prostitutes are the accepted solution to the "my wife lost interest in sex" problem afflicting affluent middle aged men. " Edited. I should have been clearer about that at the start of the post. Im not suggesting its a solution to that problem. Its not.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 02:17 PM
5

But it doesn't solve two basic issues for Married Men Thats one of the most important points in the post: it should be a bit of irrelevant fun, its not a solution to anything significant. but at the end of the day, when you are alone with your thoughts, and you look in the mirror... Do you see a man who is deserving? Yes, 100%. Because whether or not I'm deserving has nothing to do with whores, women in general or any other person. Life is too short not to have fun, or to take things too serious…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 02:02 PM
3

Just saying he has dramatically overestimated the difficulty in picking up a side bitch that actually wants to please him out of desire. I agree that finding a side piece is easy but how do you reduce the risk on them getting emotional, emailing your wife and fucking up your marriage? You have a mutual risk of divorce when fucking married women. The time to chase them and the potential emotional complications seem problematic.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 04:32 AM
1

He has not felt like I have made him feel valued and treasured enough during that time. Now he wants me to rethink of my role as his secretary/pit crew. He also says he wants me to treat him like my third child. The problem here is that the husband displays low value in his demands so she doesn't want to give him more. If he became a better more attractive man and lead her there, she wouldn't be bitching on reddit.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 11:51 PM
-2

No chasing, no calling, no drama, no evidence, no complications. OP's right about that. But the weakness and blame in his anger makes him a beta failure also.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 02:22 PM
1

Whores are a good option for some drama free fun and help with abundance, oneitis. But your negativity on wives sounds like victim based blaming to avoid owning your failures as a husband. This is the path of beta weakness. This has no value here.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 02:12 PM
1

I love the dog, he's my bro. But sometimes it just runs in or starts pawing at the door at inopportune times.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 11:23 AM
1

I want to train myself to happily next her anytime I feel so. Ask yourself why you would not be happy if you nexted her tomorrow? What do you feel when you think about it? Figure out what that is, and then make a plan to get it somewhere else or admit that you don't need it.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 11:20 AM
1

If you're into european girls, I've heard eastern Europe has some good options.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/16 05:20 PM
1

Shit I don't own yet Shit I'm starting to own Sex Life: Had sex once. Pretty enthuiasic, her on top and having a good time. Still not owned, but thats progress. I thought the dog was going to interrupt but thank god he stayed away. Seduction: Continued practicing tactics with my wife. That seems to be having a good effect. Dread: Starting stage 4 dread - withdrawing emotional availability in response to denial. But we actually had sex so I've been doing more rewarding good behavior than withdraw…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/16 05:05 PM
1

Perhaps /u/travelerscode2651 can figure out how to have some real fun here
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/16 10:10 AM
-1

Whoever downvoted this statement is in the wrong room.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/16 03:48 AM
0

This black and white attitude shows a lack of understanding of the differences between men and women.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/16 03:45 AM
3

Honestly, not giving a fuck feels great. Really need to do it more often. Definitely.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/16 05:21 PM
3

When should I start buying the disposable stuff like nappies and wipes? Don't do very much (or tell people) before three months. If she miscarries its your job to quietly dismantle the nursery. A main event is where your wife credibly and seriously threatens to divorce you to try to intimidate you back into your position of beta, and you call her. Whoever needs the relationship less has more power and a main event proves (and frequently switches) who that is.
/r/askMRP29/05/16 01:28 PM
1

I guess my point is, do I still need to change? Women seem to like me just fine, find me attractive/funnny/etc. want to fuck me/date me/marry me. Just not my wife. Its interesting that the woman that knows you best is the one that doesn't want to fuck you. I'd look into all of the covert contract stuff. Sounds like there might be something that's an emotional DLV that she's seeing that the casual chicks don't get a close enough look at. It sounds like you have game that works. Tighten it up and …
/r/askMRP29/05/16 09:35 AM
7

I found MRP when my wife was 3 months pregnant with our 3rd. I assume this is your first kid. A few suggestions: Get a good book on babies. Her emotions are going to be haywire. She's going to shit test you like a hurricane and be unreasonable. Some people say absolutely no dread (or progress?) during pregnancy, but I'm not sure I'd go that far. I think you should defend shit tests and be her oak, but don't get aggressive. I wouldn't do anything that could be thought of as "offensive" dread. Get…
/r/askMRP29/05/16 09:16 AM
6

Lots of RP truth in there. A study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior seems to confirm ... that for most men, romantic partners are “primary sources of intimacy,” whereas, for women, friends and family members also fill those roles. A formula for ending up a beta cuck. Your wife is not your friend. And where does this lead? When Lauren told her husband she was cheating, she thought he might keep it to himself. Wasn’t he humiliated? Instead, he told everyone. “He behaved the w…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 01:30 AM
2

Perhaps you could suggest he ask a few questions about how someone who looks so good is in this position Never had a relationship at age 34 Batshit crazy perhaps? Whoever you cheat with has the ability to nuke your family. Perhaps he should consider who he wants to give that power to.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 02:52 PM
1

you were what she wanted him to be. Maybe all she ever wanted from me was someone to support her emotionally, share childcare and pay the bills. Maybe thats all a husband does in a feminist marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 05:08 AM
2

On its own, I could not care less whether she submits to me or not. I've never desired her submission for its own sake and the idea of an equal marriage appealed and made sense to me. But my experience is that in practice it does not work. What I care about is that, long term, our deadbedroom marriage is a dealbreaker. We have a DB marriage because she's not attracted to me. The most credible theory I've found is that this lack of attraction is caused by her lack of admiration, deference and sub…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 02:35 AM
3

I think that describes it. Good post camille.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 05:41 PM
2

By never allowing anyone else to become 'daddy' she will never hurt like that again. That's my current theory. Fits with the feminism and dominance. You need to find out how to fill that role and become 'Daddy'. I worry that I might already be him in her eyes. So perhaps I need to become what she wanted him to be.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 05:12 PM
1

I think the brutal truth is she does not view you to be a man worthy of submitting to. This is definitely true. Whether its possible to change is my current focus.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 04:28 PM
1

That was a solid list, thanks for that. I analyzed all of those moves and categorized them. They seemed to fall into the following categories which I would rank in the following order of increasing difficulty Building Admiration and SMV Reassuring her that your Dominance is Safe Defending her Dominace Attempts Making your own Social Rules Proactively Making Joint Decisions - Logistics, Problem Solving, Parenting Physical Dominance Teaching - Intellectual Dominance I suspect the latter and harder…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 04:20 PM
1

Does she not like you holding doors, ordering for her, walking on the side of the street where the cars are? Yes. She refuses to defer to anyone, men or women now that I think about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 04:00 PM
1

Personally, I prefer not to Skype with my kids while some other guy plays baseball with them Yup, if it wasn't for my kids I'd have filed for divorce as soon as I realized the magnitude of the mistake I made with vetting.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 03:48 PM
1

you fix yourself and become 100 percent emotionally self sufficient and you stay and raise kids and do whatever you want. Wifey has no power over you. Not physically, not emotionally. Yeah, this is where I'm at.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 02:36 PM
2

The goal is not to make your wife happy. Agreed. The goal is to make your self happy and in turn your wife will improve. I understand that working on myself is the only strategy. I will succeed at that. I hope my wife will improve. If she does not it is due to her still desiring the rules that were laid at the beginning of the relationship and as we have seen, when that occurs it is a disaster. My wife is an ardent feminist. I think she would view submitting or deferring to a man as a personal f…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 02:36 PM
1

I’m working to transition from Phase 2 (operate in parallel frames) to phase 3 (pull her into my frame). This is exactly the issue I'm stuck on. Did you get the definition of the phases from a post or a book somewhere? I'm looking for additional info on practical steps to move this transition forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 07:13 AM
3

This is me 100%. I believed the bluepill lies, didn't see the problem despite being miserable and stayed with her. 16 years later I'm trying to figure out how to fix myself firstly and then either fix or leave a terrible db marriage without losing contact with my kids.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 02:34 AM
6

This is one of the topics in Mark Manson's book Models. The traditional PUA method is through teasing and a technique called "push/pull". Both techniques use a mild insult followed by a compliment. This shows that you're not scared of her rejection because you're willing to use a rapport break (the insult) but you pair it with expression of interest. Also, a lot of people reckon the contradiction there drives women a bit crazy, prompts them to qualify to you and triggers attraction. In the book …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 02:19 AM
2

This may be out of place here but I've realized lately that I have no-one to unburden myself to. Now that I'm eliminating the 'feel-pukes' to my wife, I have no outlet to discuss any of that shit. Strong male friendships are good for this. I found that when I increased the amount of male friendship I had u felt supported and rarely needed to feel puke or seek anything emotional from my wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 01:45 PM
1

Shit I don't own yet Sex Life: No sex with my wife in the past week, but she's been traveling for most of that time. Its a long game. Shit I'm starting to own Seduction: Went through my outline/notes of Models. Listed out things to do in my marriage. Started doing it. Got some responses. I continue to plan, try and practice new things. Enervating vs. Energizing: I want my presence to give my wife escape and confidence and I don't do that as consistently as I'd like. But this is getting better. M…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 09:49 AM
3

MRP isn't blue pill programming with red veneer. Red pill guys aren't permanent anger phase trolls. It's not us versus them, it's just 'us' Agreed. And labels do not get us closer to the truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 04:46 PM
1

there are only two sources of morality: The Law of God and The Law of the Jungle (might makes right). The first is established by God because He is the Creator of the universe, the creator of man and He gets the right to make the rules. The second is established by the group with the most guns, badges, judges and others who are willing to use violence to enforce their will. The Law of the Jungle is Law of God. The Law of the Jungle created the world we live in. It created us. If we embrace it, i…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 02:23 PM
5

All creation arises from movement and all movement arises from conflict. I appreciate those (TFA, RPS...) who fight, and in conflict, create something here which helps me and hopefully countless other men. Conflict is our path and there is something clean and pure about men embracing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 04:38 PM
1

There is a subtle distinction here. The point of dread is not that she thinks you might cheat. All of us could cheat tomorrow with an HB3. But that would be a display of low value and does nothing for your wife's attraction. The point of dread is that she thinks you might be attracted away from her by a higher value women. This will make her work to attract you. You want the social proof from women hotter than your wife being obviously attracted to you, or at least her worrying about that.
/r/askMRP20/05/16 04:02 AM
2

Make more cool male friends. Wife does something you don't like? Shrug, smile and go hang out with or call up your boys and bullshit for an hour.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 06:22 PM
2

She's complaining about a lack of emotional availability from you. Shower her with compliments after she does things (sex, sweet wifey shit) that you want to encourage.
/r/askMRP19/05/16 04:05 PM
0

Would this old promise provide too much "comfort?"/still affect my dread stuff? The fact that you said some words years ago? Probably not. In the mean time you've probably said lots of shit that you didn't do. If she thinks you don't have the guts to cheat or would never cheat for some religious, moral or psychology reason, and that's what you expressed with those words, that might fuck up your dread.
/r/askMRP19/05/16 04:02 PM
3

Women feel, they don't think. Her using sex as a weapon is just her acting on feelings, not acting logically based on thoughts and reasoning. Should I have an overt discussion about this? It won't change her feelings, she'll still act the same way, but you'll have shown your hand that you're actively aware of this and managing it, which she will use against you. Talk instead of acting and you'll lose. Act differently to change how she feels and you might win.
/r/askMRP19/05/16 03:54 PM
3

fast forward to 2 months ago, my wife told me wants to break up, that she can't see us being happy in the future and that she probably never really loved me, not more than a friend. Translation - she's not attracted to you, but married you because she thought that having a reliable man might make up for it. Now she realizes she was wrong about that and can't spend her one life with a man she isn't attracted to, and thats a fair point of her side. Your solution is to stop doing unattractive thing…
/r/askMRP19/05/16 03:47 PM
1

Its important to check bluepill ideas, motivations and covert contracts. Most of the trouble I've had with vacations was when I was doing it for her and trying to show her an amazing time like a beta white knight. This demonstrated weakness, she shit tested me like crazy and criticized most of my plans. When I take charge, schedule what I want to do, with some consideration for romantic stuff with her and make sure everything is handled, then I see a lot fewer shit tests.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 02:10 PM
2

Shit I don't own yet Sex Life: No sex with my wife in the past week, but she's been traveling for most of that time. Its a long game. Seduction: Got through the entire audio book of Models this week and took pages of notes on it. I will analyse it and apply those principles with my wife. Shit I'm starting to own Enervating vs. Energizing: I want my presence to give my wife escape and confidence and I don't consistently do that right now. This is getting better as I pay closer attention to it. My…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 02:00 PM
1

Slightly late reply due to travel but its a good discussion. Shortly after that thread was posted I actually took each of TFA's recommendations and analyzed them for what element of dominance they focus on and the underlying change they prompted. Each action falls into one of a few different categories including actions that build her trust in his leadership (and increase her willingness to submit), actions that show he decides social rules (him refusing to submit to others) and actions demonstr…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 01:48 PM
1

I'm trying to understand the context here. Why are you trying to 'break' her frame? Have a look at this discussion and specifically this sequence from aderallabuse who knows a lot and has relevant experience. The take away is that some extremely dominant women will not voluntarily submit to a man simply by seeing him lead well or get fitter. They need the man to prove his strength by forcing her submission. What the hell? Problem isn't her dude. It's you. The problem is absolutely me, one way or…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 10:28 AM
2

Shit I don't own yet Sex Life: No sex in the past week. This is a long process. Seduction: I've been gaming her more and I see responses to the things I do. That's progress but I need to go a lot farther here. Shit I'm starting to own Enervating vs. Energizing: I want my presence to give my wife escape and confidence and I don't consistently do that right now. This is largely a matter picking times when we are relaxing and then STFU on anything stressful. My Wife's Deference and Admiration - My …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 05:19 PM
6

If you don't start maintaining frame, take control and start attracting her, Id be surprised if she didn't divorce you before too long. Parents are rich huh? The stress is immense. I try to keep frame but I'm exhausted and stretched thin. Is this because everyone is running you around with their demands? What can you start saying no to? All I want is my wife to treat me with respect, sex more than once a month, and clean the fucking house/do the laundry. Same thing we all wanted. The sex you'll …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 01:47 PM
1

You are scared of women cheating on you (and the rest of those weak emotions ) because you're getting some kind of ego based validation or emotional support from them. This will lose their respect and make you much likely to get cheated on and dumped. The solution is to fix this. Get more male friends for support. Your woman should be your lover, not your friend. Continue on your current path (like I did) and you'll end up miserable.
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 01:32 PM
-1

Respect revolved around deep admiration for one's achievements: be they social, monetary, physicality, whatever. A person admires another person when they have something the admiring person wants or wants the benefits from. I believe this admiration is more powerful when the coveted element is a personal quality (bravery) rather than an object (Ferrari). Admiration is a primary force in determining dominance, along with fear/pressure. If someone has something I want, they have the ability to giv…
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 09:57 AM
13

Women only fight with powertalk because they understand that the real game is dominance. They don't waste time with irrelevant things like facts and reasonableness, they just attempt to assert control. A man starts changing in a way that reduces her power? She responds with shame and criticism to assert that she should be allowed to make the decisions of what power he has and what he puts his effort into.
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 08:00 AM
1

The key to being successful in anything is humility. This is real strength. The antidote to fear and anger.
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 07:50 AM
5

All social interaction with women is governed by dominance, which is really about who gets to make what decisions. Its is not about the facts of the situation. Don't try and explain your side of things. Explaining yourself to her implies that she gets to make the decision and you need to petition her to change her mind. You may be factually right but you've already forfeited the real game that she's playing. Don't tell her why you feel a certain way. Don't ask for a second opinion. Don't use fac…
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 05:01 AM
1

Your wife's affair was caused by you displaying low value. You continue to do things to display low value, so its not getting better.
/r/askMRP10/05/16 03:02 AM
7

it destroyed my relationship, which destroyed me Your relationship should not have the power to destroy you. Fix that.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 08:45 AM
1

Once you've read the sidebar and have questions about how it applies to your specific situation, then we can help.
/r/askMRP09/05/16 07:39 AM
1

I still think placing any value on appreciation is ego based and a source of weakness. Men are replaceable and only valuable to women based on what they do. Real strength is knowing that I am not intrinsically worth anything to anyone but me, nor should I be. This is a place without ego and its fragility. I walk alone and I have only what I attract or build.
/r/askMRP08/05/16 05:08 PM
1

Important: One thing we need to be clear on is that I'm an individual responding to you and I don't speak for MRP. To my knowledge MRP has no spokesman and, even if we did, it wouldn't be me. It will be factually inaccurate to quote anything anything here as "MRP says...", "This is endorsed by MRP" or anything similar. I think there are 2 core problems with modern marriage. The core exchange in human hetero romantic relationships is that the woman provide sex (which is men's primary interest) an…
/r/askMRP08/05/16 04:56 PM
1

Ask a clear question and we'll try to answer it.
/r/askMRP08/05/16 01:15 PM
1

the real problem is that the usual methods by which man was able to appreciate his efforts have gone. I disagree. Think the real problem is that from an early age most men are taught a life strategy (be a nice guy) that does (edit)not work but they're told it will. This is important to man because, deep down, he needs to be appreciated for his efforts. I disagree. Men need women to be attracted to them so that they will respect them, have sex with them and have their children. The need for appre…
/r/askMRP08/05/16 01:13 PM
8

/u/iratemd i believe talked about guys in AA. having epiphanies. They fall off the wagon jus as fast. the ones who stick are the ones who slowly but surely build successess after successes, small but sure. Maybe I can explain the causality a bit more. He's correct that epiphanies/spiritual experiences/moments of clarity are temporary. They generally give people a chance to recover and start in a new direction. The ones that make it do "slowly but surely build successess after successes". They do…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 08:42 AM
3

When I come back past, she lays in again about how shitty I am for pushing for this on her graduation day, all I want her is for her pussy, why couldn't I just wait and give her one happy day, now she feels like a fucked up broken person (constant refrain for years), why don't you just leave if I'm not good enough for you. Long winded criticism of you to intimidate you into submission. Have you ever agreed to let her decide how you act, think or feel? No? Then you're totally free to ignore her o…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 07:50 AM
1

I've alienated myself so much from friends and family trying to keep this shitty relationship afloat, I worry that in 3 months I'll be sitting in my apartment alone and not a single soul will give a fuck about me. OP, this has a simple solution. Get some friends. Your wife is your sole mechanism for meeting your social needs. Because of this she has the ability to make you feel lonely with her disapproval anytime you don't do what she says. Because of this she owns you and can name her price (no…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 02:03 AM
2

Clearly they're middening on our thread. See they can play the game just like op's wife.
/r/askMRP06/05/16 03:52 PM
1

I like the russian roulette analogy. If you win you gain nothing aside from maybe some passing admiration from spectators. If you loose the consequences are catastrophic and the odds aren't great. Maybe selecting the gun well makes you a little more likely to win, but all guns are kind of the same in certain ways and the game is the game. Maybe spinning with a certain technique moves the short term odds towards you a little but still AGALT. Despite one or two solid people winning with their spec…
/r/TheRedPill06/05/16 06:57 AM
2

This is called middening and it should definitely be on the wiki if its not already.
/r/askMRP06/05/16 06:14 AM
3

I've had countless opportunities to throw in the towel and walk away, but I've never had the courage to pull the trigger. Firstly, I think a lot of us (certainly me) were at your position a few years ago. For me, I stuck with it, and its turned into a nightmare because I'm now in a terrible marriage but have 3 kids that I love more than anything in the world, and I risk losing my relationship with them if I walk away. But lets talk about whats in your head. Feelings have a bad reputation around …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 02:44 AM
3

Since she controls sex, I have to counter with my commitment. If I pull the commitment, it costs me half my net worth and (likely)custody of any children. If she pulls sex, nothing happens. This is the core of it. You are legally obligated to provide what she wants and she has zero obligation to provide what you want. Would you enter into a business relationship on these terms? Would you have anything to do with a person who asked or demanded you to engage with them on these terms?
/r/TheRedPill05/05/16 04:54 PM
14

Just for a sec, really, honestly think about divorcing her. What is it about that scenario that makes you not want to do it? Most of the rest of us are stuck here trying to polish a turd because of some large compelling answer for the previous question (kids usually).
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 04:31 PM
1

I've started reading NMMNG and MMSL primer and I feel pretty lost. Read WISNIFG and Athol Kays MAP book. You may feel lost but soon you will have a clear direction for the first time in years and a list of things to work on. Lift, read the rest of the sidebar, work on your MAP.
/r/askMRP05/05/16 12:36 PM
1

Congruence test failed. She gets snippy. "No. the plans have not been made. I said that in the text." Correct Response - Its distasteful for you to be rude like this, but if that's you, then fine. Its also boring. I'm going to lift. 2 days later, after everyone has forgotten about the shit testing I'm taking you to a hotel for a nice dinner and to spend the night. Your parents will watch the kids. Get dressed.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 05:24 PM
2

When a woman tests, criticizes and attempts to dominate a man, she will either prove he's a strong high value man or she'll get a servant. Why would any woman not do this? Do a bit of reading and you'll find women telling stories of when they just naturally started doing this to men in their mid teens. I agree with the authors - its instinctual behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 06:59 AM
1

If you are walking around thinking "she doesn't love me," "she finds me unnatractive" she sees it, she senses it and it takes energy away from her. Yes. But is it enverating because she thinks you expect her to love you and find you attractive? If you DNGAF what she does, does that solve the problem?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:44 AM
3

I'm not sure I've ever really broken my wife's frame and I think this is my main problem. Now that my frame is strong we frequently have a "frame standoff" like this. But I've only gotten her to apologize a handful of times in the past 10 years. I don't "win" I just "don't lose". So the next step is I need to get more aggressive, attack/withdraw harder, go for blood, make it hurt if she doesn't concede. That's fine. I'm up for a fight and these skills are useful in business also. What if your wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:00 AM
1

You can find videos of whole workshop series.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 01:44 AM
1

Shit I don't own yet My Wife's Deference and Admiration - My wife does not admire, defer or submit to me for shit. This is a long term war. Taking control of small-time leadership stuff like sorting out our finances and planning some holidays appears to have a small effect on admiration but not submission or deference. I am working on taking control, withdrawing attention when she resists, criticizing bad behavior and working other dominance plays. We'll see if there is any movement on this. Shi…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 04:18 PM
11

You reach it by developing your frame to the point that you simply transcend her frame. Shit tests are always about her asserting that she gets to make some decision for you. That your behavior was unacceptable. That you're going to be holding her purse. Just make the decision yourself (in your frame), shrug, tell her your decision, and repeat as necessary ignoring her bullshit. A woman shit testing you is like a person trying to lead an elephant with a rope. The elephant makes the decision wher…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 03:40 AM
2

Men contribute emotional availability and commitment. Women contribute sexual availability. Men agree to forsake all others regarding their emotional availability and commitment. Women agree to forsake all others of their sexual availability.
/r/TheRedPill03/05/16 03:14 AM
2

What is the process that a woman uses to make an otherwise masculine male turn into a weak beta This is about dominance, which is driven by who gets to make decisions for who. Your wife, Plate or LTR brings up a Problem She asserts her right to make a decision for you. She then loads up the emotion and really increases the pressure on you Trying to get you to concede her right to make that decision. she hopes you jump to her Solution. And establish her right to decide as the dominant person. Her…
/r/TheRedPill02/05/16 06:15 PM
3

Actually, I remember one more. For many who get their women abroad, it's a much easier way to get her citizenship. so if you're importing, there's a case to be made there On a related note, the only (tenuous) benefits I can find for marriage are if you have kids and an international life. Things like visas, expat medical insurance, diplomatic immunity, administrative processes for new kids can be impossible if you're not married to their mother. Western countries have common law marriage and tre…
/r/TheRedPill02/05/16 04:15 PM
1

Both probably. Also a third possibility is that she's tired of being pressured to fuck someone she's not attracted to, the dread is fucking with her and she doesn't really care of I have some discreet meaningless sex as long as it doesn't threaten my emotional availability and commitment to her. I think she'd be very threatened and care a lot if I started an intense romantic relationship with someone of her social class with a high SMV. On the other hand, if I discretely bang some prostitutes an…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 03:16 PM
1

Personally, going through this effort to force her submission (and it will be an ugly prolonged fight) sounds unpleasant, I have no desire to do it, and I'd never choose to do if I had other good options. But I think its the only option to have a healthy marriage and happy family for our kids. I think that's the only way she'll respect me, be attracted to me and be able to have a marriage that makes both of us happy. If I don't prove myself psychologically stronger, I think she'll always view me…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 04:01 AM
1

I appreciate your help and experience on these things. Your wife has set a FRAME that if you cheat it is with low value women. Its kind of the environment. But you're right that I need to control the subject in my frame and on my terms. I've been thinking about how I'm going to set the frame on the possibility of me getting together with a high SMV woman a couple of dread stages from now. Are you at that point that you have the frame to tell her what you want? I have the frame but not the attrac…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 05:45 PM
3

I love admitting failures. I love problems that are my fault.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 03:09 PM
1

safer yuck. what a terrible word. Why? I was being cautious due to the risk of divorce. But being a pussy is the biggest risk of all. Tell me if you read anything vaginal in what I write.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 02:01 PM
1

I'm gonna ask the obvious question - can you actually do things well? Fair questions. But the answer is yes. And we're generally talking about small day to day things where the risk in something takes 5 min longer, not significant life plans with long term consequences.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 01:59 PM
1

why not be angry if you're angry? In the past my anger has been frame-broken, weaksauce, beta butthurt. This has always moved me away from what I want. In the first few months of unplugging I focused a lot on letting go of my residual anger from the past and reacting to new problems with non-angry shit test responses. But I was thinking about this earlier today. I think it probably is possible to express strong displeasure in a dominant way without butthurt. I was actually going to google it (ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 01:50 PM
1

Its a symbolic victory of her submission that you want. Women are always right and have nothing to apologize for in their mind. I had planned to force small submissions in small incremental battles. To slowly build my dominance. It seemed safer than going big and trying to force a big submission with a massive amount of acute pressure. But with the right excuse for her to hamster the big move might be cleaner and more efficient.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 04:15 PM
1

I think you're both right. I don't have her admiration and only grudging respect. She knows she doesn't control me and won't control me ever again. But she would choose to be the captain of our family if she could just choose and I'd agree. Her life situation is precarious and she is trying to regain control. She is worried about me cheating but not with high value women she'd consider peers, so its insecurity but the DHV active dread we normally look for.. I am not in full control and need to p…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 03:40 PM
2

cj_aubrey's wife may also be a control freak, or there may be other things that aren't in order. When I make plans for us she questions them and pokes holes in them. She corrects me with some regularity on minor things but never publicly or harshly. I can shut all that down as shit tests and maintain frame but it doesn't solve the underlying lack of trust and deference. I wouldn't say she's a control freak. But she just had our third baby, she can't find a good management consulting job in the c…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 01:40 PM
1

You know the answer, said it yourself, you need to get more aggressive. Next time she is disrespectful you need to calmly leave. What about harsh, non-angry, in-frame criticism to put her in her place? I have the frame to deliver and I'm surprised we don't use that more around here. Leaving is complicated since we have tiny kids so I'm worried it will be a DLV of being a bad father. TBH I'd love to bail for 2 days and just relax and have fun. Also she'll think I'm out banging whores (we're expat…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 01:28 PM
1

If she's still fighting it, she may not yet be convinced you're CEO material. At some level this is the core issue and what I need to fix. We have a lot of tools here at mrp and I'm try to work out which are most effective in my situation. However, when it comes to decisions at the house or family, she about implodes at the idea of being the one to make decisions. Was this always her situation or was she the captain for a while?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 01:17 PM
2

I feel like I'm at stage 2.8. My frame is strong. My wife can't break it and most major areas of my life are solid. But my wife does not submit to me for shit. When she follows she does it skeptically and after questioning things. She is a feminist and a very successful career woman who's been known as a (very attractive) bitch everywhere she's worked. I'm not sure I've ever seen her defer to a man. To use a common test, if Brad Pitt was here I think she'd fuck him but I don't think she'd follow…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 04:20 AM
2

Start teasing her mercilessly about being your chauffeur. Make Driving Mrs. Daisy references. Get her a little hat. This is an opportunity.
/r/askMRP30/04/16 03:54 AM
12

He told me, “Guys like me don’t have many chances.” Its kind of amazing isn't it. This man has a problem that throttles one of his most powerful human needs and makes him miserable to the point that it might drive him to suicide. His solution is almost totally within his power to fix, he just has to change his behavior. Its not like he needs to grow 2 feet taller or learn to fly like superman. He only lacks the knowledge. And yet he lives and will probably die floundering in the dark, completely…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 04:13 PM
2

Even when I think on it, we don't really argue, I don't just give in either. Yet she still seems to get things her way though. Could be a few things. Give me an example of a time she got her way and you weren't happy about it?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:54 PM
2

her frame beats mine to death more often than not. Why? Frame is the thing you have total control over. You decide things and stick to it. What happens when you two disagree that causes you to fold?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:08 PM
4

You're trying to negotiate desire which doesn't work. Your girl is as clueless as you are so she's trying to play ball with your negotiation, like this she refused to have sex after work, she says "let's have it after we workout" When the negotiation fails you're overtly pressuring her which leads to bad places like this. You need to attract her. This is MRP 101 stuff - read the sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 10:10 AM
1

OP, the critical point here is that any time I do any of those things I have already accepted the premise that she gets to decide the acceptability of my behaviour and I need to convince her it was acceptable. The facts are irrelevant, I've already lost the real game which is about social dominance and who gets to decide what. This is how Powertalk works.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:45 AM
1

Hope so. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
/r/askMRP28/04/16 01:34 AM
3

If I need validation from another person they can ransom it to me in exchange for my compliance. This transaction (social acceptance traded for compliance) is the defining behaviour of beta males in herd animals. Here you see it in humans. I bet you breathe a deep sigh of relief now that all your validation comes from yourself. I am grateful that mrp helped me solve a problem I have had since early childhood.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:33 AM
1

This is a good breakdown. https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/
/r/askMRP27/04/16 11:34 PM
12

She successfully gained dominance over you when you DEERed in response to her attack. With me the old pattern with my wife was the same every time She demands, frequently something unreasonable. If I comply, fine, otherwise proceed to step 2. She criticizes or attacks. If I concede, apologize and do what she wanted in the first place, fine. Otherwise proceed to step 3. I DEER, get angry, lose frame. The classic blue pill responses to disapproval which are all forms of submission to the other per…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 04:22 PM
2

she accused me of being aggressive and not being nice to her This is a simple shit test. There are a number of responses. "Everything I'm doing is to make our lives better... What are you doing to improve things?" Your side of this statement (Everything I'm doing) is weak and has a stink of covert contract to it. But the statement about her (What are you doing to improve things?) is a decent counter attack if it was dismissive, contemptuous and not whiny. WTF is she doing to improve things? It f…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 03:43 PM
9

Why are you going out to fill up her car and getting her coffee at 10:30pm when you want to be out the door at 4:30? This was unacceptable. Your plan to help her was unacceptable? That should have been the end of the conversation. From this point forward she was in the drivers seat and you run around placating.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 03:17 PM
1

One of the reasons being good at martial arts is an accomplishment is that you physically made it through the learning process. Learning toughness, humility and how to keep going when you're getting beaten are as important as learning how to pass guard and set up a triangle properly. That's the difference between a warrior and a weapons expert.
/r/askMRP27/04/16 07:18 AM
1

Shit I don't own yet Enervating vs. Energizing: I want my presence to give my wife escape and confidence and I don't think I do that right now. In the past week I fucked this up when a dumped a stressful decision (related to property we're buying) on her while she had a few minutes to relax. I continue to try to understand how she thinks about these things so as to understand an important element of seduction. My Wife's Deference and Admiration - My wife does not admire or defer to me for shit. …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 06:32 AM
7

Almost all of us were like that when we found MRP. You're not special and neither is your solution: lift, read the sidebar. Post BS like this in askmrp. can I change? can the MRP way of relationships work for me or am I wasting my time? Only one way to find out.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 03:05 AM
6

The issue isn't marriage, its kids, and I actually don't think it has a lot to do with marriage. Sure, there's a divorce rape problem in western countries. But take kids out of the equation and its just a few years of alimony and some shared assets, which most would happily pay to walk away clean from a bad marriage. If you built them once fortunes and assets can be rebuilt. The core problem is that when you have kids, you will love them more than anything in the world (which is amazing and awes…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 04:26 PM
6

Starting immediately, don't agree to any escalation of your commitment in your relationship. Study the material here and gain solid control. What you describe are garden variety shit tests of a woman trying to dominate you. We have responses for all of them.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 03:49 PM
1

Yeah, he's kind of the last person I'd expect to rage quit. I wonder what happened.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 10:47 AM
3

What bothers me is having this untalked tension with no resolution. Elaborate on "bothers". What do you feel? Fear, anger, what? If you're going to let it go, you need to know what you feel. You are going to have these standoffs and you're going to have to outlast her. Personally I'm not in favor of someone living like that. Yup, this is the cost of fixing things. But I didn't want to let it go for long time as this may be detrimental to our relationship. Passing legit shit tests will not be bad…
/r/askMRP24/04/16 04:49 PM
3

What about this situation do you find problematic? If you find it problematic that she has withdrawn her approval and affection to try to control you, then you need to look at why you need her approval and affection. Whatever the issue is, you're going to have to become OK with this situation (angry, distant wife) in order to complete this process. That's going to happen a lot.
/r/askMRP24/04/16 03:49 PM
2

Step 1- Shrug and state simply that its not in the budget so no its not possible. Step 2 - Listen to whatever she has to say. Repeat these two steps until she shuts up about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 12:52 PM
2

Tease her frequently and in many situations. Anything she says to you is something for you to fuck with and amuse yourself. Her opinion of you is never important.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 10:51 AM
2

I hope your life has more clarity and direction than this post. Also the one rp point you did try to make, is wrong. a female is able to extract commitment (beta). Just like signing off on a loan. You get to drive the truck as long as you make the payments. If anything our experience is that making payments allows you to sit in the same garage as the truck while it complains to you about how you closed the garage door wrong again, jesus, can't you do anything right. If you want to drive, you bet…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 04:40 AM
2

Wow. Ross Jefferies seems like the granddaddy of red pill. Its crazy to watch these tapes recorded in 2001 with him discussing our concepts like frame control, A&A, deciding how much attention she's earned, average frustrated chumps.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 09:44 AM
1

Shit I don't own yet Seduction and Sex Life: I've gotten a large amount of seduction videos and I'm going through a two hour video every day to learn this properly. Its been maybe 3 months since we've had sex, but she's been out of town visiting people for some of that. That time also includes late pregnancy, a lot of anger and the birth of a child. I'm not initiating for another couple weeks until she recovers from the birth of our 3rd child. I don't know if this is getting better. When we star…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 09:11 AM
1

I meant to use it as fuck with her head, (revenge). You get to walk away and go live your life. A lot of us would kill for that opportunity. Winning = never giving her a second thought again and going to live in abundance. Not sure revenge is part of that path.
/r/askMRP19/04/16 02:50 PM
3

Her father is dying from cancer and she has taken on managing all his health and end of life stuff. So her father is leaving her. And you're taking a set of actions which make her scared she's going to lose you too. I think it might have something to do with that.
/r/askMRP19/04/16 02:46 PM
1

Why not? You just refused to answer my question, so lets be clear about that. But I will answer your question: I think you have some blue pill, covert contract, ego motivation for options 1 or 2 and that is what's fucking you up so much with this whole situation. Option 3 almost seems sensible if you're trying to build some admiration in your wife and to have your best friend there to support you, OK fine. At a high school or college graduation the family has an ego investment in the person grad…
/r/askMRP19/04/16 02:44 PM
2

Wanting to share this experience with family members/in laws Why? What will you gain from this? Must be something if you put this much thought into it.
/r/askMRP19/04/16 01:50 PM
3

I struggle to find a good reason for anything other than three. What (non ego based) benefit do you gain from 1 or 2?
/r/askMRP19/04/16 01:32 PM
1

but how should I go about telling her this? Wrong question. The question you need the answer to is "How do I deal with her reaction when I tell her I'm not going?" The answer is in the book WISNIFG.
/r/askMRP19/04/16 07:42 AM
1

Whats going on in her life? Anything that would give her a lot of pressure and resentment?
/r/askMRP19/04/16 06:53 AM
1

I realize I have a lot of shit I need to improve on , and by improving , a side effect will be fucking her even more. You mean like you'll be fucking her more in the future? Are you going to stay with her?
/r/askMRP19/04/16 06:46 AM
1

Lets go through each of these in turn and talk about what they really are. But before we do that its important to remember the Rollo Tomassi's cardinal rule of relationships In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. I would extend this to say that in a romantic relationship, the person who needs the relationship less will have the ability to ransom the relationship to the other person in exchange for the other person's social submission. Women …
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:02 AM
1

Fitness test, congruence test, compliance test. Its all kind of the same thing. The woman attacks (his frame, his dominance, his ego), the man either defends successfully and proves himself a high value man that she can feel safe and attracted to, or he folds, submits, she gains dominance and can make all the decisions herself. Its a win either way for her and I think there is an innate drive to do this since all women see to do it without being taught.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 04:36 AM
2

What do now? What do you want out of this situation OP? If I were you I'd want that ring back because its probably worth something. But if you don't care and just want the difficult painful experiences to stop, then walk away. You have the right to do whatever you want. How bad did I do by walking out when chad called? Well that depends on what your objectives were. If your objective was to demonstrate unpredictability, fuck with her and STFU then you did pretty well. If your objective was to ma…
/r/askMRP18/04/16 03:49 AM
0

I got a bit butthurt when she mentioned that I am not much taller than her.Stupid on my part, I replied with 'go and find yourself a taller man' in a rude tone. I think I failed this shit test. If this was a little dismissive and not whiny then its like a C- response. Its not good, sure its a minor loss of frame but its not a total failure. More importantly its not an objectively unreasonable response to that situation. Since then she mentioned that I have started being rude to her, and that I a…
/r/askMRP18/04/16 02:39 AM
1

The amount of aggression varies by how in control the man is but I think they still shit test and frame probe a solid captain.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 02:28 AM
3

A basic RP principle is that men bring emotional availability and commitment to a relationship while women bring sexual availability. Your primary power source for ensuring her sexual availability is your ability to withdraw your commitment and emotional availability in response to her not submitting to your leadership (social dominance) and sexual advances. The more formal commitments you agree to (living together, mortgage, marriage, kids, shared wealth), the harder it is to exercise this prim…
/r/askMRP17/04/16 08:34 AM
2

My covert contracts (and my ego) were violated. Yeah, that was my point. but if you've used them before, you know how powerful they are. It's honestly like trying to have sex with a porn addict Fortunately clitoral stimulation from the hitachi and vag stimulation from fucking are separate...and can be in parallel. But I can also honestly say that I no longer dread leaving the house because she'll use it You sound like you're owning your shit and making good progress. But when I first read this I…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/16 08:13 AM
5

I even check whether she has visited Mr. Hitachi (she hasn't) Do you view this as being more problematic than you jerking off?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 12:04 PM
3

It's all the same monster, just with a new outfit and a new dance routine.
/r/askMRP16/04/16 02:51 AM
5

I've been with my wife since she was 20. I've never found any real evidence, but I'm pretty certain she's cheated, probably multiple times. There was a while before we were married when she was a very beautiful mid 20's woman working in management consulting in a global capital city, working late a lot, going for drinks and business trips, and I was blue pill as fuck. There were a few odd events, but nothing you'd call evidence. Looking back now on the big picture I'm pretty sure she had a coupl…
/r/askMRP16/04/16 02:43 AM
2

I need to read at least one book a month. Or one per week. There's a lot of content to get through here. Much my betadom was just skills I never learned before.
/r/askMRP15/04/16 01:07 AM
1

certainly not Level 7 (Practice PUA on other women) until the baby is around 6 months of age. So I need to keep taking it slow, and even probably back off a bit, for some time to come. Thanks for the response that's good to know.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 03:58 PM
1

if you want to, give her the gift of your time in an intimate but not necessarily sexual way.. maybe charged but not outright sexual. This is a good idea and I'll try to do something significant like this in the next few days. I'm already doing some things like that but I think I should step it up. In the past we've had serious problems with covert contracts (thinking she owes me sex as a part of marriage) and me threatening the relationship if she didn't "meet my needs as a husband". I'm curren…
/r/askMRP14/04/16 03:31 PM
1

Let me put it this way... I think it's a good time to demonstrate that you're a man who adds value to her life and handles stress well. Yeah, I'm trying to focus on Oak moves and good captaining. For me every nice thing I did was poisoned in her mind as being some ploy to get into her pants I'm trying to be affectionate without initiating on a regular basis to disrupt this.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 03:25 PM
1

The general thought is you need to really take it slow with a pregnant wife. She's at her most vulnerable. Dread is already there practically even without you doing any self improvement. I've been going super slow for exactly this reason. One question I have for /u/BluepillProfessor is, in the experience of the community, how long after birth the dynamic of "No Dreading a Pregnant Wife" continue? Is there a similar risk with a small baby or is everything back to normal in a couple months. Also, …
/r/askMRP14/04/16 03:22 PM
1

Do I read that correctly that you have a newborn (1m) right now? Yeah, correct. I'd be interested to hear about other people's experience doing MRP during with a newborn and how it effected things.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 01:56 PM
1

You can have a sincere moment with her where you overtly tell her that you want to be with her. I try to do that every couple weeks since it feels like I'm short on comfort. I do the dick thing even more frequently.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 01:45 PM
1

No, slowly building over 6 months and I was doing some of it (lifting, being busy) before MRP. She was pregnant for 5 months of that 6 of so I was going super slow.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 01:44 PM
1

Mine thinks I'm cheating. I'm lifting, dieting, new clothes, not having her shit, idgaf on sex denial, gaming her, busy more often, abundance mentality. I'd be suspicious if I were her. But it doesn't seem like a good thing. I think its fucking up the affection she would otherwise have for me and I'd be interested to hear about a way to mitigate it. I try to up the comfort without being beta I'm not sure that really works.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 12:57 PM
1

this whole process has tought me that I will be unhappy in a low libido marriage and I need to get out while I can Refuse to allow any escalation of commitment (setting a wedding date, getting married, moving in together) unless all of your requirements for the relationship are being met. We could have an interesting discussion about the best way to do this without negotiating desire, but your commitment and emotional availability must be contingent on her sexual availability. Stone and Cholomit…
/r/askMRP13/04/16 05:08 PM
2

Whoever downvoted that comment is a muppet. Were there any specific books or models that you found especially helpful when learning game when you were newish?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 06:16 AM
1

If she has any sense at all (I know from your prior posts that she does) she is very worried about her future. I think this is the core of it. I'm much more alpha now and have a frame that she can't break. She can kick off and come at me with everything she's got and I won't beta fold. We've established that a few times now. I hold frame, tell her to leave if she's leaving, let her cool off, she behaves better, I up the comfort and she's happier. But I'm not attracting her or gaining her deferen…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 04:57 AM
2

30 to 40 minutes is a long time. I'd start with 10-15 and work up to it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 05:30 PM
2

If you do it regularly, meditation will cure insomnia, in addition to a number of other benefits. You need to learn how to meditate and practice it semi-regularly, but after 30 or 40 minutes of silent meditation your mind will be quiet and you'll be able to sleep.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 04:51 PM
1

I let myself get too lax with sleep. I'm going to bed later again and not getting the rest I need. Time to correct course again and buy some more knock out drugs. Whats the root problem here? Are you staying up late doing things or do you have insomnia that keeps you awake after you get in bed? Meditation is a great cure for the latter problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 04:34 PM
2

Shit I don't own yet Seduction: No change from last week. Maybe 3 months since we've had sex, but she's been out of town visiting people for some of that. That time also includes late pregnancy, a lot of anger and the birth of a child. I have long term plans to become more attractive and solve some past issues which seem to be going well. Any real initiation is hold until she recovers from the birth of our 3rd child. There's a long way to go here and I can't really say I know I'm on track to own…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 04:27 PM
1

US is seems to be more dangerous place than my home country, at least that is my perception. So I took a kitchen knife and quickly cleared the house Perhaps she was disappointed you brought a knife to a gunfight.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 10:02 AM
4

Please share, what you have learned to lookout for and be aware of when it comes to your partners fidelity. I've learned that my concern with her fidelity is a symptom of my fear of inferiority and disapproval that I'm trying to fix by controlling her. IDGAF what she does.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 09:28 AM
1

Great post. I think the prison has two types of bars, both of which are established in early childhood That men need the approval of others (primarily women) who will decide whether they are acceptable human beings. That men's needs (emotional, social, sexual) will be met if they allow others to decide how they act and do the right thing. Internally these are epic covert contracts. Externally they are lies used to dominate and motivate men to jump through bigger and bigger hoops.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 09:16 AM
2

The post title claims proving, logic and agreement, but yet delivers none of these things.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 04:07 PM
7

Now back it up with consistent action or lose all credibility. Hope you can deliver that. Expect your wife to shit test you like a hurricane to see if you're full of shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 09:51 AM
7

One last point. You mention no assets and children. Realize that however difficult it is to cast off your ex-wife now, imagine a future where those two things are in play. OP, this is incredibly important and tends to be trivialized by men who don't have kids yet. Imagine if she was off fucking Chad every night but you knew that if you left you'd lose almost all contact with your tiny little son who you loved more than anything in this life. You're lucky the stakes weren't higher before and next…
/r/askMRP11/04/16 03:01 AM
3

Taking her back is a terrible idea for a few reasons You taking her back would be a display of low value, the magnitude of which neither of you have ever seen before. She's probably alpha widowed within an inch of her life. One of the aspects of this situations (there are few) is her throwing a sequence of huge, escalating shit tests at you (no sex for a year, leaving and wrecking you, coming back). So far you've failed every single one. I suppose you could take her back and find out what the ne…
/r/askMRP11/04/16 02:46 AM
1

Indeed. Good spot.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 01:54 AM
2

I don't care for their politics, but those Muslim boys might have some interesting ideas on some of the things we discuss here.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/16 04:38 PM
3

He said noone bothered him Friday. Awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 04:32 PM
2

I think OP's going to ditch this girl, get his head straight and thank the good lord in heaven he had MRP to talk some sense before he continued with his plan and ended up in a soul destroying marriage where he had to choose between never seeing his kids again and never having decent sex again. Wish I'd had that a few years back. CJ, help me here with analogies, if you understand me... Human will power is OK for some things. But it has its limits. And sometimes the desire for something grows in …
/r/askMRP09/04/16 04:24 PM
1

Do it in the morning on the 15th. Get the ring back. Tell her to fuck off. Let her go nail Chad if she thinks that's clever. those 6 days before I go what do I do, act? Be busy. Make up some shit about working late or whatever else seems plausible. EDIT: Rereading the previous comment. Do it before she quits her job and moves. No reason to fuck her life up more than necessary.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 05:50 AM
1

Tell her someone called you and told you that she was fucking some guy named [insert Chad's real name], you don't trust her and that's good enough for you. She will demand all kids of details and more info and accuse you of all kinds of things. Just tell her "Fuck off, good bye" and then ghost. You don't need to justify this decision to her. You can do whatever the fuck you want. But first get the ring back with /u/sexyshoulderdevil 's crafty plan about getting it cleaned. That's a good idea.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 05:26 AM
6

So you've been with this girl for about 3 years. Two years in you proposed and she said no (otherwise she'd be your fiance). Shortly after that it became a long distance relationship. She's been flirting hard and is now inviting Chad to fuck her. OP, what are you getting from this woman that makes you want to continue this? Everything aside from the last two paragraphs sounds like a guy that's horrendously insecure, scared to be on his own, getting validation out of her affection and doesn't wan…
/r/askMRP09/04/16 04:50 AM
1

Because to me one test would what happens when you no? Whats the test? I post the idea here for scrutiny and if I have a covert contract I want to know about it and get rid of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 05:58 PM
2

Alturists do things because it makes them look good, and they are upset at others because they aren't doing what the Altruist feels they should be doing. Agreed. That kind of Altruism is an epic blue pill covert contract and plays out as such. Things like "If I help people like a nice guy then people will like me" or "if I sacrifice for society then society will take care of me". Some of that big picture stuff might be the foundations of Blue Pill thinking in a lot of men. Covert contracts that …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 05:32 PM
1

Altruism - the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others. Fuck altruism. I've never been able to do it. But the thing that has worked for me is my selfish interest in helping other people. I help other people, for free, anonymously if possible, and it makes me feel connected to everything and in the flow of the universe. I have no idea why it has this effect. Volunteering, helping people here, in a few other organizations I'm a part of. I don't care…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 09:24 AM
2

6 Weeks to recover, isn't it? What are you doing for the next 6? Lifting, reading, work travel mostly. remember, the main event is 'her' event. for you, it's nothing. My position is the same. Rain or shine. For event planning, how good are you at it. Pretty good actually. My issue here is that my work takes up almost all of my available time and energy. Now that I type the previous sentence I realize it's bullshit. I allocate to much time and energy to my work. I need to scale that back and "pay…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 03:42 AM
1

If you are alpha enough you don't need to or only rarely because your approval and disapproval is valuable. Yes, agreed. Like Scurve said, if you're valuable enough, a raised eyebrow is sufficient punishment. I think this is more likely to be useful as a tactic to assert and increase dominance during a kind of "middle phase" when I'm not a beta servant anymore, but I'm not king of the castle yet either. That's basically where I'm at. She can't control me, but she doesn't submit to me or defer to…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 03:11 AM
1

Would you really say that to your daughter? No, because she is submissive and fragile and it would be cruel. My wife however holds her own and I would definitely criticize her. Do you think this will teach, or rather, generate a negative reaction. The negative reaction is the point. My question is whether its useful. at the core, we do not want to punish in a way that generates a situation where being NOT in your presence is better than being in your presence. Therefore we do not punish by addin…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 05:53 PM
2

For instance you dont do this to children because they would develop a stutter. Agreed, I'd never do this to my kids. And the technique definitely needs to be refined. I'll put a post up on it and see what other people think.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 05:41 PM
2

How would you constructively criticize a wife? In my opinion you wouldn't. I'm talking about destructively criticizing. Call it attacking with amused mastery. Something like the following OP - "Why didn't you call the bank? (Laughing) Are you stupid? Perhaps you couldn't figure out how to use the phone? I'm just guessing here, you tell me how it happened." Its critical that this is done with amusement and without anger. Also OP would have to maintain frame when she counter attacks, keep calmly d…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 05:22 PM
2

I notice that you, Arch, Redneck and Stone all suggest the "be attractive and withdraw attention" tactic. That's certainly a cornerstone here. But what's your opinion on non-angry, paternalistic, contemptuously delivered criticism as tool for dissuading poor behavior in wives and imposing a cost for misbehavior? Is there some reason why it's generally a bad idea? I find no post on "How to Criticize Properly" on here or the main sub. "Who is allowed to criticize who" is a key element of dominance…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 03:04 PM
2

Fair enough. Looks like a solid place, especially for BJJ.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 01:39 PM
7

My assumption is that she would do it because it needs to be done. I am relying that she has an ingrained sense of responsibility and that she would act act such. Give that bitch a covert contract to shit on, bitches love shitting on covert contracts. But seriously OP, this is just blue pill nice guy thinking. Its not how women work. They react to attraction, dominance and fear of loss. Glad you see it clearly.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 01:36 PM
3

You need her approval. She threatens the approval with criticism and uses your fear to control you with obligations. She camouflages this strategy by pretending that she can't control her emotions or words (being triggered) and the criticism just happens if you don't do everything right. Read the sidebar, you'll find solutions there.
/r/askMRP07/04/16 08:17 AM
2

Deadbedrooms had people with my problem, but no solutions. I came to MRP, read for 30 minutes and it explained my marriage exactly.
/r/askMRP07/04/16 07:29 AM
1

How about some non-angry, in-frame criticism? Amused, almost joking, but with a hard edge that criticizes her behavior, puts her on the back foot and forces her to explain herself. OP - "Why didn't you call the bank? (Laughing) Are you stupid? Couldn't figure out how to use the phone perhaps?" She'll fire back. He'll maintain frame, respond with AM, continue to require an explanation, and then go do something else. Like a slightly assholish father dealing with a useless teenager whose bullshit h…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 07:06 AM
5

This OP. You inflict no consequences on her for misbehaviour. Fix that.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 06:12 AM
1

Solution to that is a new gym. At the gym I trained at (~30% active pro fighters, intense fitness, lots of sparring) being new was rough, period. If you were annoying, talkative and had no skills it was worse. I think it was too much pain for people who just wanted an image. Thinking about it now that was probably a deliberate policy by the instructor/promoter.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 05:37 AM
1

Anything that enters from outside your frame is either Amusing, intriguing, or Funny. That's a great default position.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 04:11 AM
3

3) stop asking for input. Or permission. Her facts are welcome, but you decide.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/16 05:18 AM
2

Get a kindle app on your phone and buy the ebook for a few USD.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/16 05:13 AM
1

Anger seems to work for some people. They should go with that. But it makes me miserable and fragile. I have to get rid of it to make progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/16 01:54 AM
1

At some point...you as a leader can do everything in your power...everything. It will still fail. Part of the game. Play or don't.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 04:30 PM
1

Shit I don't own yet Seduction: No change from last week. I have long term plans to become more attractive and solve some past issues that are playing out. I continue to flirt and kino more, but any real initiation is hold until she recovers from the birth. There's a long way to go here and I can't really say I know I'm on track to owning it. My Wife's Openness, Warmth and Deference: This comes and goes. I thought this was getting better early last week but we had something like a second main ev…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 03:45 PM
1

It's like the best guys in the MMA gym. Sure they had some badass swagger, but they were humble too. This is a very accurate analogy but there's a selection bias involved. Arrogant newcomers don't last long at MMA gyms. They either have humility, learn it or leave pretty quickly. Its actually not miles away from what happens when an arrogant clueless person posts a victim puke FR here and gets their ass handed to them. Ego is weakness and its generally beaten out of people. Figuratively here, li…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 12:01 PM
1

I reckon my ego is the lie that I need other people's approval. With that lie I became a needy beta and allowed others to control me with their judgement. The lie takes many forms: fear of rejection, anger at criticism, the desire for prestige, consumerist luxury. But like any lie, when i shine the light of truth on it, I find only bullshit. The answer to my problems is rarely more strength. The answer is almost always less ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 10:59 AM
1

I would go with the following process 1) Talk to other dads and find another kid that wants to learn to fight. Get gloves and pads. 2) Find a boxing, muay thai or kickboxing coach or class to teach them. I bet a 20 year old from the local muay thai gym would do it for $30/session once per week. 3) Have them drill strikes, blocking, movement for a few weeks on pads and a bag. 4) Get them gum shields and groin guards and have them start sparring. Start off by calling it blocking practice and have …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/16 10:48 AM
1

Thanks for the last sentence at the bottom. It's good to be reminded. Yeah agreed. That's the foundation.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/16 06:06 AM
2

I think the term alpha is useful to describe the individual who successfully asserts dominance in a specific interaction or consistently within a relationship. I think its the wrong term to describe "winning at life" although it correlates. I think "high value" is a better description.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/16 02:38 AM
3

In this case, if a woman reacts poorly to you and your default position is "women can be shitty", the logical conclusion would be "this is another example of women being shitty" because it can't be a me issue because I'm awesome. Textbook victim mentality. Externalizing blame (onto women) to avoid introspection and responsibility.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 07:15 PM
2

Agreed. Clarity and brevity together is the mark of deep understanding and its almost impossible to fake. Even noobs see it, when someone like whinemore kills it in 5 words. Like if yoda went around calling people pussies.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 06:30 PM
3

With no ego to demand emotional validation, its almost impossible for someone to control you. This is a source of immense strength.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 06:23 PM
2

OP, what do you think you will gain by marrying her? I don't care if you post an answer here. But for god's sake, if you can't answer that question to your self, that should tell you something about your plan.
/r/askMRP01/04/16 04:59 PM
5

I never knew there was such philosophical depth to your pussy faggot calling.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 09:04 AM
1

In response to the pictures of different hair colors You - "Good to see you doing something with your life. I see you've been accepted to clown school, when do you start classes?" or You - "Cool, I was just thinking that people where taking you too seriously. You won't have that problem in the future." Her: (Playful) Yes, you like me, you like me even if I weigh 150lb You - Yeah, you know I like the thicker girls. Her: you love me You - As long as you don't embarrass me with weird shit like blue…
/r/askMRP01/04/16 03:17 AM
1

Great post, super important topic. So when we say a guy is a high-value man, we mean it to mean a guy who has done everything he can to maximize the return on investment on himself. Be it monetary, physical or emotional investment. I think for a lot of guys this starts with recognizing that they have absolute personal sovereignty to decide where to invest their resources (attention, time, energy) and what return to require as a condition for continued investment. A lot of the bluepill lies they'…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 02:36 AM
1

Great list. Your layout is too in depth and I don't have time for that, to keep it easy I'll just provide basic examples Good point. Edited.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/16 12:29 PM
2

She's weaponizing her emotions and using them to attack you. Thats fine, thats what women do. This fucks with you because you need something from her emotionally. If you didn't need anything from her emotionally you'd just shrug and laugh when she kicked off about bullshit. Ask yourself what you're relying on her for emotionally. Then get it somewhere else, like your male friends. She's your wife. Rely on her for support and she'll despise you and make you sorry. That's why you can't stfu.
/r/askMRP31/03/16 11:02 AM
2

Was that a shit test? If so did I pass it? Yup, that was some respectable A & A. Nice work. I guess it's obvious to everyone but me that she's looking for real life leadership, isn't she? While she's been the de facto family leader for most of our relationship she's clearly in over her head and wants me to step up she just doesn't realize it yet. She also resists my control. She likes to tell me that I'm not the boss of her. This is the situation most of us were in when we got here. The reason I…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 02:44 AM
3

Indeed, but there is a more logical basis to that dynamic that most think. From Illimitable Men MAXIM #20: “Your mother is the only woman who will love you for you, rather than your power. MAXIM #21: “If you compare a potential love interest to your mother, your love interest will disappoint you. IM MAXIM #35: “Men remember being boys. Man has a lucid perspective in comparing the diminished affection of his adulthood to the greater bounty of his childhood. Women do not experience such a signific…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 05:08 PM
28

All this, because I didn't get her some stupid fucking water. No. All of this because she's upset she's married to an extremely submissive and low value man and this upsets her. Your wife is literally begging you to act like a strong man. She was putting away her laundry and asked me to get her some water. This was a compliance test. You initially passed it by refusing. But she wasn't sure whether you refused because you were busy or because you're a strong man who's not her bitch. So she decide…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 04:04 PM
4

Lack of self validation was a big problem for me in the past but I've largely solved it. For me, my dynamic with self worth was based in a few lies (and they are lies) that I had been telling myself for decades. That I am not valuable enough as I am (without outside interference). That I can get more value (enough value) from other people's positive opinions. That I can engage in covert contracts to ensure I get their positive opinion (NMMNG). That if I give others the right to decide for me wha…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 09:25 AM
1

We haven't had sex in 6 weeks, ostensibly due to the baby, so I think she'll be cautious the first time back. She doesn't fully trust me to lead yet, but she likes the changes she sees so she's willing to play ball skeptically with most things when I try something new. My plan is to introduce some things from SGM to increase the amount of DEVI (like a 25% improvement) when we fool around. I think this should get things moving the right direction and we can move towards 100% Chad over time. Like …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/16 04:38 AM
2

but having seen it brought up many times in the spiritual circles I frequent OP, can you elaborate on those spiritual circles? I think there's a lot good spiritual content in that book. It would be interesting to know who else was on that path.
/r/askMRP30/03/16 03:06 AM
1

I knew this would be rough but y'all are good at this stuff. That's because we have all been through it. Maybe not with an affair with a shitbag cop, but we've all been beta dipshits who chose the wrong women and mismanaged them until they were almost gone. Most of us have probably been cheated on in the bluepill past. That's why we can tell you how to fix it. I'm faced with knowing I had a broken, crazy, liar of a wife Correction: You chose a broken, crazy liar of a wife. Out of all the other a…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 02:12 AM
3

Her affair partner was and is a piece of shit. Y'all hate on me all you want but it's true. We believe you. But it's irrelevant. Your solution is to own and fix your part in this which is much bigger than his part in it.
/r/askMRP30/03/16 12:47 AM
4

I vote for 3).
/r/askMRP30/03/16 12:29 AM
2

I downloaded the audio book and listen to it while I lift/sauna.
/r/askMRP29/03/16 04:45 PM
1

Things I'm already strong on - OI, frame, amog-ing Things I understand and am actively working on - preselection, kino, escalation, inner game. Things I will learn something about in the next week and attempt to use at leas once - day game, de-escalation, rule of threes.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/16 04:43 PM
2

Shit I don't own yet Seduction: Our sex life sucks because 1) I am not attractive enough and 2) in the past I've strongly pressured her to have sex. I have long term plans on each of those points that are playing out. I've started flirting again, but any real initiation is hold until she recovers from the birth. There's a long way to go here and I can't really say I know I'm on track to owning it. I will review SGM and make a plan to give her better sex the next time we fuck. Shit I'm starting t…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/16 03:31 PM
9

My wife says she doesn't If women told us clearly what they liked, none of us would be here at MRP. As I gained some tone, definition and size I remember my wife would touch my arms during sex Watch what she does, not what she says. Attraction is a lizard brain reaction like hunger or fear. Her conscious mind knows very little about what gets her wet and controls it even less.
/r/askMRP29/03/16 03:01 PM
1

I think that if he's a man that's had your back in the past, you have a duty to tell him straight. If he's so much of a pussy that he can't face that truth, that's on him.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/16 08:31 AM
6

Firstly, based on that reaction, its a near certainty that she's already cheating and hooked on the dopamine. Secondly, if he's one of your best friends in the world, fucking tell him. But tell him exactly the facts and let him do with them what he will. If he hamsters it, that's on him, drop it. Alternatively, if he wants a divorce but needs some evidence for court, you could (with his cooperation) set up a situation to help him catch a cheating bitch.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/16 08:15 AM
1

Its unfortunate that we haven't figured out how to write a contract that turns off hypergamy.
/r/TheRedPill29/03/16 07:47 AM
11

Its interesting to see a woman admit these things. The Way of the Superior Man has some good content on this. The feminine is the constantly changing nature seeking fullness in motion. Asking a woman why she's angry is like asking the wind why its blowing. Trying to stop the wind blowing is silly, its entire purpose is to be in motion. That's why the question "Why are you angry?", which roughly translates to "Please list and justify the logical reasons why you are a wind storm", makes no sense t…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/16 05:48 AM
1

I wonder if there's a magic way to fix that in me (perhaps NO) or do I just need to carefully watch my thoughts and my actions. Fixing this pain and craziness (which I drank and used over) is what the 12 step process does. I could never have done this MRP stuff if I hadn't first gotten my head under control by doing the steps thoroughly with a sponsor and fixing some of those big issues. Without fixing those things, doing MRP would have been like putting new drywall up on a building that was cru…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/16 07:35 AM
25

I got married years before finding TRP (7 months ago). I wish to god I'd found TRP 10 years ago. 1) How did your relationship change once you got married? My relationship didn't change after marriage, it changed after TRP. When I got married I was beta as fuck, so my relationship was bad before marriage and it was bad after too. Its only started improving since I've been implementing some things from here. 2) In what ways did your wife's behavior change once you got married? Again, not much. Bec…
/r/TheRedPill28/03/16 02:57 AM
5

You remember when you were 16 and you looked at the hottest girl in high school and you were like "I'd totally lick her until she screamed, even if we didn't do anything else, it would still be awesome cause she's so hot." That's cause that hot girl had a much higher SMV than you. MRP should help you to be the man your wife feels the same way about, and when that's the case, performing sexual acts just to please you will then be natural and enjoyable for your wife.
/r/askMRP28/03/16 02:12 AM
1

" I want you to apologize for saying something that makes me feel sad" ( from wife) --- What are you regretting? "Making" her feel X? -- you did not MAKE HER feel anything This is an Alpha Offense that asserts that she gets to make the decision for him that his behavior was acceptable. Furthermore she asserts that she gets to decide that he will apologize. He can either respond with an Alpha Defense that denies her right to make those decision or he can fold and apologize like a good beta. How a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 02:48 PM
3

The important factor is that you make the decisions for yourself regarding the incident and interaction based on your judgement, while needing nothing from her. Listen to her facts. Consider her opinion. But you decide based on facts whether your action was wrong. If there are no facts involved, just her opinion, tell that when you want her opinion you'll ask for it and go lift. You decide whether her communication was acceptable. Tell her if its not. You decide whether an apology is need. And m…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 01:38 PM
3

Lets take the example of a beta whining to get sex. The man (B) is using the tactic of obligation and victim puking to try to convince the woman (A) to decide to have sex with him. There is no assertion that the man (beta here) gets to make the decision that they should have sex. He fully concedes that the woman gets to decide this. Edit (sorry I got interrupted): Therefore whining not an Alpha Offense. Contrast this with the Alpha Offense of pushing through LMR. The man asserts that he will be …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 05:05 AM
3

Exactly this, you aren't creating your kingdom for valueless time and energy vampires to occupy your domain. Our time and energy is for VIP only. Yes. So the question that I need to ask myself is "How am I allowing my valuable attention, time, commitment and affection to be treated like its cheap."
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 02:52 AM
0

Most other cultures are much looser than we (US, UK) are regarding the man's physical sexual fidelity. Social, financial and domestic fidelity are all absolutely required and a man is a failure if he is unfaithful to his wife and kids in those respects. Women are expected to be sexually faithful due to the risk of pregnancy. But our expectations of total sexual fidelity on the part of the man (especially affluent successful men with office jobs) is uncommon globally. Maybe there's something to t…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/16 05:04 AM
2

1) "honey, I do it this way because x" If I say this once and then move on, then fine. But it needs to be decisive or this invites a DEERing discussion. 2) "don't you fucking DARE try to scold me in my own house" I need to be careful that I'm not trying to control her in anyway. Controlling another person is a mugs game and women love being defiant to test frame. If i want to nuke I prefer statements that focus on me like "Hey, when I want your opinion I'll fucking ask for it. WTF makes you thin…
/r/askMRP26/03/16 02:12 AM
4

A loss of frame is allowing another person to make a decision for you inside your head. You cannot lose frame without doing this. The essence of beta (submission/no frame) is an individual who allows a superior to make decisions for them in exchange for some kind of beta carrot, generally social acceptance, validation, approval or sex. Lets take an example. A woman angrily tells you that you loaded the dishwasher wrong. That's her overt communication and the covert points she just communicated a…
/r/askMRP25/03/16 04:31 AM
1

Excellent analysis of the "why". Every row in the spreadsheet that involves anger at a woman for behavior fitting that pattern should include "my expectations were wrong" in Columns 4. Post edited. But my broader point is that, in some men, some anger does not dissipate simply from knowledge. Some anger requires more before it can be let go. That's why a process like this can be necessary to find peace.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 02:37 AM
1

Now, if we could get these types of posts to not only increase here but also in mainstream society we'd see solid improvement in the standard of men's mental health and life satisfaction in marriage. I think this will happen in time. Through our experience we develop a paradigm that explains reality more accurately and a toolkit of actions that work to get results. Men adopt this, get results and we grow. When it grows to a certain size it will become mainstream.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 02:20 AM
2

Any suggestions how to get past this. Yes, I have a way that worked for me. It involves some work and fearlessly owning your shit, so its not easy. But if you're in enough pain to motivate you to do it, perhaps it can work for you too OP.
/r/askMRP24/03/16 02:28 PM
1

Let me know if you figure this one out. I have a way that worked for me and continues to work reliably. Perhaps it can help.
/r/askMRP24/03/16 02:24 PM
5

That would be a great idea for /r/marriedredpill! Done.
/r/askMRP24/03/16 11:03 AM
1

So as I said she went from nuclear warfare to convention bombs. Then the cold war and detente. This is a very accurate description of my situation. Its getting better but is still a long way from good or loving. Looking back she is just too strong willed to wilt and fall over backwards and submit to me. This is what it seems like to me. Normally I think we ask, "What if Ryan Gossling was her husband, would he have that problem? No, then you're not attractive enough." I think this is one of the r…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 04:45 AM
3

The analogy is the addict who fuck up his relationships. When he finally gets sober after a decade, does he forget all the bad shit that happened between him and the people he loves? A large percentage of the 12 steps are dedicated to getting rid of anger/resentments for exactly this reason. Right or wrong, alcoholics and addicts have to let go of their anger or they relapse and maybe die. There is a process for this and it works. I've seen it work repeatedly and reliably for worse things than I…
/r/askMRP24/03/16 03:53 AM
2

I let BP trolls chase me underground by doxxing me and harrassing my wife on facebook. Wow. Did you do something specifically to instigate this or are there basically a small army bluepill trolls trying to do this to all of us all the time?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 03:03 AM
1

Important Context: My wife had a baby (our third) last week. Natural birth, went well. Shit I don't own yet My Wife's Openness, Warmth and Deference: This seems to be getting worse. I pass shit tests, hold frame, becoming more attractive and try to help with the new baby. But my wife seems to become more distant, less sweet, asks me to do less for her. She can't run me around like she used to, she knows that and she doesn't push her luck on trying to intimidate me. But she isn't becoming more su…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 02:38 AM
1

She wanted to see how many chin-ups she could do and got on my bar and hammered out 7. I think we can all agree that big lats make a chick super hot. What exactly are you worried about?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 02:16 AM
1

Isn't this the beginning of our betadom. Agreed. To offer deference in exchange for future social acceptance, I believe this is the essence of betadom.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/16 03:59 AM
1

No. I met her when i was a few years sober. That was more than a decade ago
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 06:15 PM
2

Today my friend came and I spoke with him .... That hollow feeling was gone. Connecting (really connecting, not just talking about bullshit) to another person will do it for me. Maybe it's something from early childhood. Like a forgotten child in the cradle, crying in the dark. Why does it cry? Because it is afraid. Children who did not cry when they were hungry, died. Maybe that's something like it. I think that analysis is on the right track. But at some point I stopped asking why I became an …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 06:01 PM
3

Her: I asked you a question. You: I know, I ignored that question. I do that with useless questions sometimes.
/r/askMRP22/03/16 05:45 PM
2

because I had no other ways of fulfilling my validation hunger See, I call that pain "incompleteness" because that's what it feels like to me. Like there is a part of me missing, or I'm hollow. I feel less than other people. That's why I had to drink every day. To keep that feeling away. But at some point when I was very young I got this idea that if I could convince enough people to agree I was smarter or better, then that would fix whatever was wrong inside me. That's why I wanted the money, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 05:16 PM
2

Probably best to use A&A trivialize with humor. Its more fun if its creative so use a sequence of vague answers that ends with a punchline. She was the daughter. Her: whose daughter? Of the senator. Her: which senator? From Naboo, and her father was the jedi. Oh no wait that was princess Leia. She was the one that hiked up the mountain. Her: what mountain? Yeah Anna's sister. Her: who is Anna? You know, the other princess. She sang that song. Something about let it go. She was the 4th. Her: 4th …
/r/askMRP22/03/16 01:33 PM
4

Addicts and alcoholics drink and use to fix a deep internal pain. OP, you know how you feel when you go cold turkey and then about 7 days later (after the physical withdrawal is gone) you feel terrible emotionally? That pain. Your whole story is basically just a guy thrashing through life trying to fix that pain with alcohol, food, mistresses, validation. Its all the same thing. Its all symptoms of the same problem and it doesn't matter what you use. That's why you get worse after you quit the s…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 02:17 AM
1

What I would advocate at that point would depend on his motivation for divorce which, strangely, he hasn't really explained in the post. If its some butthurt pussy bullshit I'd say he needs to get his head right, stop blaming his wife and do the work to become attractive. Actually I kind of assumed this was the case from the tone of the post. If he just found out one kid wasn't his, I'd say he should start putting his affairs in order to file as soon as possible. I think there is a point at whic…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 02:11 PM
1

I think that if has not spent time successfully cold approaching early 20s women and getting at least some number closes (I didn't mean fucking them but that probably wasn't clear), he has not become attractive enough to say that his wife is the problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 01:33 PM
1

I think that if has not spent time successfully cold approaching early 20s women and getting at least some number closes (I didn't mean fucking them but that probably wasn't clear), he has not become attractive enough to say that his wife is the problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 01:33 PM
2

When I first read your post my immediate thought was that a month is way to short a period of time to win the attraction game. It also forces you to dance for her which is unlikely to lead anywhere good. She may know this intuitively and may be just buying time to process things and make a plan. I'd f ind out exactly what your legal situation is. If you found out you could definitely keep your son, your money, and get her deported, how would that change the discussion?
/r/askMRP21/03/16 12:54 PM
1

In the long term my only game plan is to fix the problems with me and become attractive. A number of elements of this (shit tests, frame control, kino, other game) require a sparring partner or target. In a lot of cases I learn even better if my opponent is a dragon bitch who has no respect for me. If I bail before making this progress I'll just end up in the same situation witj the next one. I believe this is why the 12 stages of dread are a process that potentially ends with divorce. Where are…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 12:25 PM
1

We teach children that if they play by the rules (which I decide) then they can have what they want (anything? No, what I offer them). This is simply a mechanism of controling people. In herd animals the betas are controlled by the alpha. If an adult male human is still controlled by this simple childish mechanism, he's not alpha. This is a very simple shit test. Further shaming him (Rollo's point) is just another shit test that drives his betaness even farther home. This is hypergamous hypocris…
/r/TheRedPill21/03/16 08:46 AM
2

A lot of asian countries have divorce and custody laws that strongly favor the father. I'd talk to a lawyer but you might be in a stronger position than you think, if you keep it local.
/r/askMRP21/03/16 06:34 AM
1

This is a great response. A&A on him shit testing you.
/r/askTRP21/03/16 05:08 AM
7

Firstly, nice work. That sounds like some solid progress. The cheating will always be in our pasts, and there's nothing that can be done about it. Many on MRP believe that cheating is the end of the relationship, but with young kids and the possibility of a devastating divorce I figured giving it a year was worth it. There is some nuance to this. I don't think anyone here thinks male cheating is the end of a relationship and in some circumstances (casual relationship and high SMV other woman) co…
/r/askMRP21/03/16 02:33 AM
31

This is a dominance problem. For female attraction, the man must be more dominant, moderately successful, in decent shape. Late 30s career bitch is like 8.5/10 on the dominance scale. She can only be attracted to a man that's 9+/10 dominant, moderately successful, in decent shape. So the guy would need to be like HG9 or HG8.5 and would never give a second look to HB4 career bitch. He'll be about banging hot 24 year olds which the blog post describes in blue pill fashion as Men of the same age ar…
/r/TheRedPill20/03/16 04:50 PM
1

You sound like a younger, college age guy. Whatever you do OP, understand the game you're playing and play with your eyes wide open.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/16 04:26 PM
1

You see OP, there is the bigger picture and the smaller picture. Within the smaller picture of your relationship /u/bogeyd6 is right that your interests are served by leading well and that's what you asked about in the first place. But within the bigger picture of your life, I would argue that your interests are best served by scaling back your commitment (gives you more power in a number of ways) and focusing on your success. You currently have one woman with shortcomings. You can fix those sho…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/16 03:28 PM
1

I think the overall point that's made there is correct and we've all experienced that dynamic. However, the first hand experience of a number men here including Athol Kay and some very respected guys who are endorsed on the main sub (no small thing) directly contradicts the finality of that last statement she will never really believe he is a worthy leader Its an interesting question as to whether there will always be a small lingering doubt in a wife's mind and we all need to be forever on poin…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/16 08:44 AM
1

There are a number of disadvantages and risks associated with marriage. A prenup mitigates one risk (financial disaster). Starting off in a solidly alpha position and maintaining it can mitigate another risk (harpy dead bedroom). Can anything remove the disadvantage of option loss? Probably not. But the real question is what do you think that you, as a man, will gain from marriage OP?
/r/askMRP19/03/16 04:54 AM
1

Your success will not be found in the actions of a woman. Your major malfunction is the fact that you care enough about what she's doing to post here. This should be a discussion about vetting criteria and whether she's worth keeping or nexting.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/16 02:15 AM
2

So does the main TRP sub have a "party line" approach for unplugging married guys which is different from our approach? I searched for a while and couldn't find anything.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/16 10:00 AM
2

I have had my ass handed to me today in all the worst ways possible. Yeah, that's kind of a right of passage. We've all done it. On one hand the men here have given you a tactical correction regarding the good and bad of how you've reacted to your wife. That's useful for improvement. But I encourage you to also look at the butthurt the criticism here has caused. This will teach you about where you still have a fragile ego. Ultimately, this fragile ego is what allows your wife to control you with…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/16 06:12 AM
1

With your mechanic friend, does he still lead their marriage?
/r/askMRP18/03/16 04:52 AM
1

I like this post because it's helping me clarify to myself just exactly what a shit test is. Simple shit test definition: an unreasonable request or an unreasonable tone. OP's wifes statement is an unreasonable tone because "I can't trust you at all" is not a reasonable response to not fixing a stool on time. Also OP should manage his time betterbut this is a separate issue.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 05:47 PM
5

So you don't live with this woman and you were awol for a few hours and she sent you 14 messages about it, then starts shit testing you about it. Sounds like a red flag to me. At this point, what do you guys think is the best thing to do ? Fully internalize RP principles before agreeing to any escalation of commitment (shared financial aarrangements, making life decisions, marraige or kids) with this woman. There's good advice here about shit/comfort and what you should say next time, but the bi…
/r/askMRP17/03/16 01:03 PM
8

For the last 7 or 8 months things have been difficult work wise ....This makes me mentally tired when I get home at night, Any discussion of this will be viewed by your wife as weakness and she will respond with disgust. Thats how it is - deal with it or don't. Here it comes I thought, back to where were you last week when you disappeared did you fuck somebody else Does she think you're cheating or vice versa? This is all part of my evil plan. That might have been a decent A&A response to a shit…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 12:28 PM
7

When I read the post, all the rpw mod appeared to be saying was that a lot of guys on mrp start from a very beta/omega point, have difficulty in their early days and shit post the sub with idiot questions and cringy FRs. I don't think thats news.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 09:29 AM
2

They just cherry-pick the retards here who hit on cashiers to make their wives feel "Dread," Yeah, its easy to point to the opposing team's newest guys and be like "look at those idiots, your team suck!" Not miles away from my wife shit testing me over the 2 mistakes I made last month.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 06:32 AM
1

I think the real game we're playing with MRP in our marraiges is convincing our wifes to follow and defer to us. That's the essence of alpha in a committed ltr. That requires them to trust us to be the big daddy captain who runs things and doesn't crash the ship. Hard to do that with someone who can't manage his Facebook account without screwing something up that potentially causes her relationship problems. Thats why simple trust and congruence stuff like this matters.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 05:12 AM
3

I always get a lot out of what you post and its very encouraging to see that progress in a year.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 06:42 AM
1

We(M23, F23) had been dating for about a year when an unplanned pregnancy reared its head. I assumed broken condom since we always used them. Do you remember breaking a condom in the 6 weeks before this? Seems like the type of thing a guy would remember. I don't know dude, but I think there is another explanation for this sequence if events. Bit that's largely irrelevant and Over60 is right about the solution for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 06:34 AM
3

Shit I don't own yet Social Life: I have a goal of 30 minutes of social contact (lunch, phone, coffee) per day and one night out per week. I've failed the 30 minutes less last week than the week before but still too much. Will re-prioritize further this week. Shit I'm starting to own Seduction: Our sex life sucks because 1) I am not attractive enough (I think, but this might just be pregnancy hormones) and 2) in the past I've really pressured her to have sex. Attractiveness is slowly improving. …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 04:17 PM
2

I still struggle a lot and my progress is slow. I wonder if I will only reach a level where I am strategically in a good position (abundance mentality, outcome independence, whatever you want to call it)... If I actually stop liking her. That's funny. I like chocolate but its never kept me from abundance or OI. If anything chocolate increases those things in me. But alcohol kept me from those things for a certain period of my life. Because I needed alcohol to feel good and without it I felt terr…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 03:48 PM
1

Correct A&A on this type of shit test is laugh at her story and then be like "Ha, ha. Yeah, so while we're telling funny stories let me tell you the one about when [your gf did something embarrassing]. Ha, ha, isn't that a funny story!" And when she shouts at you about this later you just respond with more A&A by laughing and going "what, I thought we were telling funny stories, you got me into it. You didn't think that story was funny? I sure as fuck did." Dead easy OP.
/r/askMRP15/03/16 03:37 PM
1

There's a good post on the main sub about hard times. When you plateau in any area how do you personally get your shit back together and stay focused? I do this by remembering that, although things suck, moving forward is better than thrashing or relapsing. As long as I keep morning forward, even with the tiniest baby steps, things will get better. If I bail and relapse, there is no limit to how bad things could get. Also, its a helpful practice to make a list of everything I'm grateful for in m…
/r/askMRP15/03/16 03:04 PM
1

How did I not get notified that the troll responded to my comment? The entire point of the comment was to draw her out so that we could fuck with her. Smh.
/r/askMRP15/03/16 02:12 PM
35

Don’t deny yourself a personal Winter – it is a season and it will eventually pass, but is also valuable in its own right. Anger and fear (primary components of dark times) can be roadmaps to removing weakness if I use them correctly. Both anger and fear are caused by something external threatening something important to me. Around 98% of the time this is caused by me Childishly depending on an external entity to fulfill an important need instead of building abundance, a range of options and ful…
/r/TheRedPill15/03/16 07:22 AM
1

Women spend so much effort trying to change men, but almost all of that effort is to make them more beta. Isn't that strange? They need servants for their model to work. A man changing in the other direction inspires disgust. Neither hawt as an Alpha nor useful as a Beta.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 03:13 AM
2

If god is my creator, there is nothing in me (or my wife) that he didn't put there. My nature and my wife's nature (anything AWALT) seems very likely to be gods will. I essentially turn into a fucking sex animal in bed and love it (and she does too). If this feels natural (and not driven by ego or some other bullshit) it seems likely to be god given.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 03:03 AM
1

Being shit and getting shat upon was pretty exhausting. Even with a little progress I started getting in control of some parts of my life and you should be too at this point. So what's your alternative? You can change the job or wives and things will still go to shit because the problem is you. Is this the first woman and job where you've had these problems with? Fix it now, waste more years and fix it later or die a turd. Your call and you own that decision too.
/r/askMRP15/03/16 01:34 AM
1

Oh good! A troll with a troll question. I will play. I know, right. Where did she go? I was looking forward to this.
/r/askMRP15/03/16 01:17 AM
8

You could even follow it with something vaguely philosophical like "Life can be confusing sometimes..."
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 07:57 AM
1

You're on the path to fixing this. What do you feel when she criticizes you? Right now, think about her criticizing you for a few seconds. What does it make you feel? There is no wrong answer here but honesty is the path to freedom. Fear? Fear of what? You have fear because you are relying on her for something and she isn't giving it to you. What is that and what does it mean to you? Whatever it is, your dependence on her for whatever that is, is the chain that imprisons you, and it's allowing h…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 05:36 AM
3

So it sounds like your wife is attracted to you: she gives you plenty of sex and there is no respect problem. She just sucks in bed and and is obese, which I think are two separate problems with a similar, leadership-based solution. If she is compliant in bed, read Sex God Method and start leading her to great sex. If she follows you outside of the bedroom, work on leading her to healthier living, but I feel like this is more tenuous. Our way is to lead, not to control and there may be limits on…
/r/askMRP14/03/16 04:18 AM
2

How to regain the respect of my wife after acting overly emotional and insecure? Become a man that she respects and is attracted to. As Stone says, the MRP sidebar will explain how to do that. Same question we all had, same answer we all got.
/r/askMRP14/03/16 03:40 AM
1

I've had times when my wife was as disrespectful as you describe. But she's not like that any more. I think my wife probably doesn't love me, time will tell on that one. But dude, you NEED your wife emotionally way too much and that's the big problem. That's why this seems like the end of the world (at least that's how it reads). I've lamented elsewhere that my wife doesn't love me, but I keep repeating it because I can't deny it, and yet somehow I just can't believe it. It's a thousand times wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 04:44 PM
2

Smoking - Still doing it, mostly while driving. I need to stop trying to cold turkey this and buy some Nicorrette I found I just got addicted to Nicorette. But I got much better results from wellbutrin. It subtly changes how you feel and you don't want a cigarette. Good stuff. I found that with me, this Neediness - Not sure if there is a RP term for this. I need to stop orbiting her. was caused by a lack of this Social/Hobbies When I get my social needs met by my wife I engage in that approval-s…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 04:06 PM
1

What's happened? I haven't prioritized it sufficiently against other things (mostly work) competing for my mental energy. I need to either call a few people or schedule lunch/coffee/drink. But this is an issue of paying myself first: I need to make the time to do the things that invest in me. After I've done everything I need to do to invest in me, I start doing things for my boss, wife and other people. hope you're building your OI on this, My current approach is to be super light hearted. I'm …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 03:59 PM
5

I think that "what works" is heavily dependant on the individual. I'm a bit neurotic by nature and my mind is problematicly busy. For me, mental silence and focusing that energy leads to strength. For people who are naturally relaxed, I can understand how the contemplative styles of meditation give them a better ROI on the effort they put in. And I think staying regular with meditation is about the personal ROI.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 01:28 PM
2

What sort of leader has to take stuff and wrestle with the troops for some semblance of control?? The somali pirate who takes over the ship and says "I'm the captain now." Credit to /u/TrainingTheBrain for that excellent and very apt metaphor. The defining characteristic of that captain is that he's a taker who adds nothing, intimidates and demands to consume value. You're right, a solid captain just starts delivering value, solving problems and adding value to his ship.
/r/askMRP13/03/16 12:27 PM
10

Meditation is a great topic for MRP and can provide a number of valuable benefits. I learned about it while I lived in California after college. I've been doing daily meditation (single pointed mindfulness meditation) for years and its incredibly helpful. To answer the question in your post title, the benefits that I've gotten that most people could expect are as follows Fewer problems with feelings. Regular meditation quiets the mind. That "quieting" is a reduction in the amplitude of feelings …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 08:20 AM
3

PROTIP: her bullshit won't get better when her commitment bug is fed OP listen to Stone on the above comment. Its like you have an abusive boss and you're about to sign a change to your employment contract which means its almost impossible to quit your job. How exactly do you think things are going to improve because of this change?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 07:34 AM
2

Find some guys you like to be your boys and get support, approval and companionship from them. You won't need your wife's affection.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 06:02 AM
3

This is a great post and an important topic. Humans are social animals with social needs. When I had no friends and chose to have my social needs met by my wife I was giving her the power to make me lonely and unhappy with her disapproval or criticism. There were so many things wrong with this situation. Most of the tactics we use here (OI, IDGAF, STFU, refusing compliance tests) are extremely difficult when I have given my wife the power to make me unhappy with disapproval. If new guys have a h…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 05:52 AM
3

Men bring commitment and emotional availability to a relationship and restrict them to gain power. By getting married you're voluntarily signing away a huge amount of your options and power, get a decent price in return for this. I would strongly suggest that you do not get married unless you are getting everything you want in the relationship. If you're not getting everything you want, you need to become more attractive (most important) or find a different woman to get what you want. What do yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/16 03:25 PM
1

Try to understand the situation. If she is legitimately harassed, that's a different situation. But if she is inviting the attention of other men to in order to validate her and threaten you, that's a real problem. I think the correct response to that problem, if you see a real instance of it happening, is to roll your eyes, and make a very casual and dismissive comment that you don't have time for this, she's not worth fighting some rando, and you will be finding a new gf if she's this much tro…
/r/askMRP12/03/16 07:32 AM
1

Some women play a game of attracting other men and trying to start a fight between them and their SO. This is a shit test but of a very specific type. Does she have any history of behaviour like that?
/r/askMRP12/03/16 02:28 AM
1

Op, what's the broader context? I feel like this is part of a larger shit test. Has she ever mentioned harassment or this guy before?
/r/askMRP11/03/16 11:52 PM
1

First know what you want. To get to know them? To sleep with them? To sell something to them? From there you have two elements of the communication to achieve your outcome: maintaining conversation and running game. Maintaining conversation - This is like the carrier frequency for the game. Just keep them talking, entertained and bit distracted. Ask them some simple questions about themselves, but be relaxed and don't interrogate. This is context sensitive. I'm an expat so the starting questions…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 05:10 PM
1

Done.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 07:21 AM
2

beta up for a bit You whiny dipshit. Oak up like a solid captain. Sort out your finances (this is a process, not an event). Finish any DIY stuff. Get out in front of any issues in your life, deal with them head on and lead your family. You are the number one, in-charge grown up and you should act like it. I had a pattern of pressuring my wife for sex. This did far more damage than I realized at the time and I'm still undoing it. /u/jacktenofhearts does an excellent breakdown of this (as is his h…
/r/askMRP11/03/16 05:06 AM
1

OP, you might be right about some of the tactical details (you've clearly read and practiced some things from here), but you're completely wrong on the bigger strategy and that's the point. Attraction is lizard brain stuff like fight, flight, hunger, thirst. Try logically explaining to someone why they shouldn't be thirsty or obligating them into not being scared of spiders. All the talking and negotiating in the world changes nothing and makes you look like you don't get the real mechanics of h…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 03:04 AM
5

On its own I'd consider the suspicion a solid result of dread and in 6 months I'll probably actively create it. But she's 8 months pregnant so I'm trying to keep the dread super light. Thats why I don't view it as positive.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 01:14 PM
2

My wife will have our third in about 2 weeks and I've been unplugging for 6 months. Also, my wife started out as a dragon bitch (softened now) and I made it to the gym 5 times last week. There are a number of facets to MRP. Increasing alpha behaviors (shit tests, dread) is one of them facets of MRP, and you need to be careful with this (especially dread) in pregnancy. But the following are also areas where you can make progress while your wife is pregnant. Passing shit tests with A&A, AM, ignori…
/r/askMRP10/03/16 07:34 AM
4

So you didn't know anything about women. You picked the wrong one. Handled it badly. Now things are falling apart. Congratulations, you're exactly the same as all of us when we first got here, just a bit more wound up. So take a breath and realize that most of us have probably been cheated on and its fine. And the solution is the same for you as for us. Read the sidebar. Lift. Learn. Fix you. I know you're probably thinking "no, no, you don't understand, the problem is out there with my marriage…
/r/askMRP10/03/16 07:24 AM
2

...disconnecting from the wife on an emotional level to get solid with myself. She feels these walls, and is crying out from the separation. Lets talk about this problem for a second because I think you're confusing her emotional availability and your emotional availability. In a romantic relationship, men bring emotional availability, women bring sexual availability. If you're withdrawing your emotional availability, she is going to view that as deprivation, the same way you view her withdrawin…
/r/askMRP10/03/16 06:40 AM
21

it takes all of the power in the relationship away from the woman. And, in my angry entitled beta past before I found MRP I did not use power for things that benefited my wife. I used it to pressure her to fuck a man she wasn't attracted to. I used it to push her to mommy my insecurities and help me avoid accountability for being a pussy. I used it to avoid doing the beta bitch tasks that she probably thought were the only things I was actually good for. Then I started unplugging and taking more…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 05:49 AM
1

I appreciate the feedback. After trying so many things that don't work, its great to see MRP working.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 03:29 AM
9

Great post.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 04:06 PM
4

you do realize that kids do better with two happy divorced parents than with two ( or one ) miserable parent? Absolutely. I believe one of the most important things I will do as a father is to set an example for my sons. Either how a strong attractive man leads their mother and our family. Or how a strong attractive man leaves an unacceptable situation to find something awesome in the abundance of life. When it comes to divorce I think its a man's responsibility to take the difficult, necessary …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 04:03 PM
4

Has anyone ever been through the "I just can't be bothered giving a fuck anymore stage" Now I see things clearly. I made a terrible choice when I picked a woman (entitled, bitchy, dominant). I don't think she's been attracted to me in more than a decade, largely because I have been unattractive. I made a much worse choice when I decided to marry her and voluntarily give up all of my options while getting nothing in return and continuing a situation where I wasn't getting what I wanted. I have be…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 07:52 AM
2

We should produce an online Marriage Prep course for men. Just to explain what game they're actually playing. Imagine how many lives would be saved.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 07:09 AM
2

Shit I don't own yet Social Life: I have a goal of 30 minutes of social contact (lunch, phone, coffee) per day and one night out per week. I've failed the 30 minutes almost every day last week. Will re-prioritize this week. Shit I'm starting to own Seduction: Our sex life sucks because 1) I am not attractive and 2) in the past I've really pressured her to have sex. Attractiveness is slowly improving. The longer game plan on point 2) involves not initiating for a while (did that), then initiating…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 02:38 PM
1

Indeed. What does this mean to you?
/r/askMRP08/03/16 10:44 AM
1

It feels like a shit test because she is criticizing your leadership and she's right. Take control and lead. One of the principles of Extreme Ownership is that all subordinates must have a clear, simple plan that they are capable of executing. Have you analyzed the situation and provided your wife with with a clear simple plan for enforcing discipline that she needs to follow? Once you have done that you can manage her to execute the plan. Until you've done that she's right to complain about you…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 08:32 AM
4

"come on over here and say hi to Papa" In your frame. "ummm ....try again." Compliance test. "my bad...I meant to say bring that sweet looking ass over here and say hi to Papa." A & A. Not bad. I just continued working and let her go without saying anything further. STFU. Still in your frame. Valid response. That looks like progress compared to this. In the past, I'd immediately get up...go greet her, and essentially orbit around her. Asking about her day... give her a hug, etc. Holding frame an…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 03:35 AM
5

In the past I have confused a number of things with love Alleviating my persistent, chronic, maddening fear of being not good enough with someone else's attention, approval, acceptance and sex. My gratitude for someone helping with my children and this mixing with my legit love for my children. Its fun having sex and not risking judgement or rejection Not having to face life, illness and death alone. Alleviating my fear of societal judgement against those without a spouse Alleviating my fear tha…
/r/askMRP06/03/16 08:08 AM
4

This feels very heady, but I think that's not enough to actually make a difference in my life. Yes, you are correct. You can understand this intellectually, even believe if philosophically, but that doesn't mean you experience it and internalize it. I can give you a process for that, but it won't be easy. From the start lets be clear that the objective is to identify whatever anger you have, use that identification to learn about unhelpful approaches of the past, let go of the anger and grow in …
/r/askMRP06/03/16 07:20 AM
6

But OP, do you understand why your anger directly causes your powerlessness and why letting go of it is the path to strength? The pattern is always the same. With anger, I blame someone else (wife) for something I feel (my ego being threatened by her criticism). I label her an entitled cunt to focus attention on her and not my failed management. When I get angry I intrinsically and voluntarily give her the power to threaten me (my peace of mind) and I deny my power to govern my life (by choosing…
/r/askMRP06/03/16 02:07 AM
6

The individual's neurotic fear of social rejection is not a fear of rejection itself, it is a fear of a fundamental vulnerability which leads to death. This seems accurate and potentially useful. If death is accepted (through meditation practice perhaps) does all fear of social rejection cease.
/r/TheRedPill06/03/16 12:48 AM
5

my wife complained of me being too intense, too serious. Her complaints have been that my standards are too high, that I'm too high-strung, that I'm too serious. inside I sometimes still feel like a Rage Volcano. What are you angry about? What are you keeping score on? What did you take personally in the past that you are still holding on to? What did someone not do in the past that you found unacceptable?
/r/askMRP05/03/16 08:18 AM
7

I'm about 6 months into MRP, with things now on a good trajectory. I had a situation around 3 months ago were my wife was seriously threatening to leave. People here told me that it is extremely rare for a woman to leave an improving man and this was my experience. I think there are two related but distinct situations regarding women talking about leaving and its important to think about which one you're dealing with. 1) A wife uses divorce threats to intimidate a beta man into submission. This …
/r/askMRP05/03/16 07:41 AM
3

Have any of you had issues in this area (laziness creep, outright defiance, boisterous defense of duties that are otherwise seen as "hers", etc.) with your First Mate? Yes, the question "who does annoying tasks" is an issue of dominance. When I was blue pill and she owned me emotionally, she pushed all that on to me (we both work). One of the battlegrounds during unplugging was me telling her that she was going to have to start pulling her weight. For me this was about setting and enforcing a bo…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/16 03:49 AM
1

That's a lot of words, but there is some good stuff in there. Meditation is key to reflection and calming the spirit. To live in the Great Way is neither easy nor difficult. But those with limited views are fearful and irresolute: the faster they hurry, the slower they go. And clinging (attachment) cannot be limited: Just let things be in their own way and there will be neither coming not going. Obey the nature of things (your own nature) and you will walk freely and undisturbed. Seng-T'san - Th…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/16 03:26 AM
10

I think we've all accidentally stuck our dick in a PhD once or twice. Don't give yourself a hard time about it mate.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/16 04:48 AM
1

Completely agree.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/16 04:02 AM
3

Looking forward to that. Right now, the two most important relationships in my life that are governed my social dominance are my boss and my wife. MRP has life changing red pill analysis of the dynamics in marriage. I'd love to see similar red pill analysis of work topics like sales, dealing with bosses, managing subordinates, procurement, gaming Pam in HR, leading initiatives (leading a team expanding into a new region), how to work a conference floor. The main sub has some good stuff from time…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/16 02:22 AM
5

Absolutely. Things I learned here about shit testing, dominance and frame have completely turned the tables with my boss. The concepts of ownership I've learned from /u/TrainingTheBrain have completely changed how I manage my teams. These concepts are critical in any human relationship.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 06:12 AM
1

In my mind, the fact that she doesn't actively want to live in the US is the nail in the coffin for this relationship. You need to be able to come to some agreement on these things in order to have a successful marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 06:04 AM
2

Conservative cultures allow men to be really dominant. Use that in bed. Order her to do all kinds of things and see if she gets off on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 05:59 AM
16

Could the good members give me a suggestion on how do I handle this relationship? Or for that matter a relationship.. Fix you. The anger. The outlook of victimhood. Your huge ego and inferiority complex. Own all of that first. Read the books in the side bar. STFU. Lift all the time. Develop the skills you need to succeed. Implement a MAP. This should take like 8 months or something. By the way NMMNG is probably the best book I've ever read on male codependency. Maybe start there.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 05:51 AM
1

You can find the 48 Laws of Power on audio book. Listen to it while you lift.
/r/askMRP02/03/16 03:59 PM
1

You're fighting a war not a boxing match, don't worry if you lose some battles. Just keep improving and sooner or later you'll start winning. Right now she's the stronger side so you fight a guerrilla war. Mao had good tactics on this. Be like the water: when she attacks, diffuse it with a shrug or A&A and let the criticism pass right through you with just a ripple. When you attack, hit hard, get some good strikes in and then withdraw and STFU when she counters. Once you're strong enough it will…
/r/askMRP02/03/16 03:45 PM
1

Read WISNIFG as soon as possible. One of the key elements of that book is the mental mechanics of how to not let other people make your decisions (like whether your behavior was OK) for you. In your case I'd say this is pretty fucking important since your wife actually has a diagnosable mental disorder. OP, you're probably going to have to become a bit of a lion tamer here. Super consistent boundaries. Willingness to escalate hard in a conflict. Never a sloppy day where you let things slip. And …
/r/askMRP02/03/16 03:08 PM
1

Very few men have ANY support network This thing that has been created here is important and valuable. I understand 100% the reasoning behind it (remaining anonymous) We are anonymous out of necessity but there is more value to it than just that. I think what you are doing is important, valuable and I support it. But perhaps its useful to point out the value of anonymity and what may be lost without it. Anonymity is a cloak for embarrassed newcomers who might not have the courage to walk into a …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/16 02:32 PM
3

Sounds like you're holding frame in hurricane of shit testing. Nice work. The only thing I'm a little unclear on at this point in my deprogramming is how to distinguish between shit testing and legit needs. You think about them and decide for yourself, captain.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/16 02:11 PM
2

Its a good point. Regardless of the difficulty of the circumstances or what anyone else does, if my reaction is that of a whiny bitch, I'm acting like a bitch and that's on me. Even when things get so bad they will not recover, everyone is losing their shit and the ship is going down, the captain maintains OI, even if that includes goes down with the ship. I believe that is the standard.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 04:05 PM
1

Indeed. Lifting once per week due to disorganization = not owned. Edited.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 03:54 PM
1

Shit I don't own yet Time Management: I need to get a lot more disciplined on this so that I am lifting, meditating, journaling and sleeping enough every day. Those 4 activities are key drivers of my progress. Our second kid has had some schedule changes that have thrown me off and brought this to my attention. I will make a schedule today and implement it. Omega Activities: Porn, reddit, tv, the amount of time I waste (generally the last hour or two before bed) doing mindless shit. I'm doing an…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 08:55 AM
17

she envied people on fucking Facebook that always posted about being married to their best friend Due to her lack of sexual availability, you've taken away your emotional availability, which is what she cares about. Then she said, "let's be friends, assume I'm on the market but only you know it." She can't fuck you if she's not attracted to you and she's trying to get back to a previous state where she was attracted. The problem is that the state she is trying to go back to (early courtship) was…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 05:41 AM
1

Thanks for the heads up on mint.com. I checked it out but all of my accounts are in different countries so I'm not sure if that will work. But I'll have a look at the doing the type of analysis that gets done on there.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 08:08 AM
2

Shit from this guy is the same as shit tests from your wife. Respond to them similarly. Its all social dominance and frame. But because you're not in a romantic relationship with him, you can end the social relationship with few consequences and physical violence is an option, you can be much more aggressive.
/r/askMRP29/02/16 03:34 AM
1

I've been using that to lock down a long term relationship. I spend every weekend with her. I didn't really want to go and asked her if I had to. but how do you constantly monitor your women so that she doesn't 'mistakeningly' belief she can do better and to drop ship fast. This is all solid blue pill stuff. Maybe look at that. When you say I've been married red pill for a while. You mean like 3 months right?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 12:39 AM
5

Question about Skittles Man: does he have a super high SMV already and, as a consequence, get away with only giving gas station candy? Or does IDGAF skittles gifting give him that high SMV in and of itself? As a $15,000 flower man who is becoming a skittles man I'm trying to understand when tactical skittle gifting becomes productive.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/16 05:48 AM
3

Have you read WISNIFG? There is a part where the author discusses how unassertive people allow others to decide whether the unassertive person's behavior is acceptable. Around here we call that having no frame. It's the cause of this She uses that, too, to make me feel bad. Correction: she tells you that your behaviour is not good enough and you should feel bad about it and for some reason you've decided that she gets to make that decision so you comply with her instructions and feel bad. Women …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 09:56 AM
2

I would explain to him that you know of a community of men who once had his problems and solved them. They have an approach that reestablishes a wifes respect and desire that has worked for 100s of once beta men like him. They can show him how to do the same if he is willing to learn and work. Then have him read a sidebar post about shit tests. That will be something that's very real and tangible to him. He will probably immediately see the truth in whats written there and want to know more. But…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 04:46 AM
5

Bored with my marriage and looking for ACTIONS that I can take before considering divorce. Try out all that freaky shit in Sex God Method. Whatever you find standing in your way when you try those techniques is stuff you need to work on resolving.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 01:06 AM
3

I feel like death and AWALT are the two things we all have in common. Aside from that, we all walk alone. Gloves up, chin down, keep fighting.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/16 03:55 AM
5

The poison is in the message they get about "what a real man does" in these situations. Oh, she made a mistake. Who doesn't make mistakes? Who are you to judge? Are you going to let that destroy all you've built together? Are you going to let your feelings dictate that? The idea that a man should let another person decide what's right for him in exchange social or emotional support is like a socially transmitted virus.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/16 11:22 AM
7

This is the destructive power of men using their wives for emotional support and believing they need their approval to be complete. They stay because the pain of solitude is worse than the pain of infidelity. Because of this, its easier to own being a cuck than owning their independence as men. They are condemned to the dungeon of the blue pill world they see. Its not surprising some kill themselves.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/16 06:09 AM
2

I can comment on the bit of this that I have some experience fixing. This problem I don't hang out with the guys much Is the cause of this problem How do I get past feeling the need for affection and love from her? Your wife is not your friend. Its wrong that you are attempting to get emotional comfort from her. She knows this intuitively and that's why she resists. Did you wonder about that? How you were always trying to get closer and she was always pushing you away? You were probably told tha…
/r/askMRP25/02/16 02:06 AM
1

Lot of important information missing here. Do they ever meet in person? Seems weird to text that much and not see each other. What is the content of the text messages? Is it flirty or just stupid teenage girls bullshit? Also to add I was sexting other women while my wife was doing the same, instead of you know, gaming my wife. So, did you actually catch your wife exchanging sexual messages with another man? That's not really an "orbiter" situation and casts this whole thing in a different light.…
/r/askMRP24/02/16 06:25 AM
5

The best advice I've seen on this is from a PUA book I read a long time ago. If a woman strikes you, immediately remove yourself. Don't say anything, don't do anything, get your coat and your keys and leave. Be gone for a while, overnight if possible. This is a very powerful "abandonment" move that will disturb most women. I don't think a man should ever hit a woman. Maybe if she attacks you with a weapon and you are physically in danger, but even then only if there is no other way.
/r/askMRP24/02/16 04:33 AM
5

Yes, but with very specific rules and cultural context. In a lot of Africa marriage is a about binding two families and a man's duty to provide. In a lot of Asia (especially southern Asia) marriage is about making a home. You can understand how the female imperative isn't really threatened by male infidelity and no one is too concerned. Now compare to how us western folks have affairs: sleeping with a secretary, or a friends wife, is a situation where the new woman might be a part of the wife's …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 01:56 PM
1

For centuries marriage has been an arrangement, a contract between families and a way to socially tie people, make alliances, ensure procreation. Yes, and there was almost always abundant prostitution. In societies that I've seen where this attitude is still common there is either a very high rate of infidelity (Africa) or widely accepted prostitution (Asia).
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 01:26 PM
6

I reckon its the clearest possible demonstration of the The Cardinal Rule of Relationships - "In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least." And at least with me, after I called her bluff when she was all in and I had a stronger hand, shit changed in our house.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 12:37 PM
1

Shit I don't own yet Omega Activities: Porn, reddit, the amount of time I waste (generally the last hour or two before bed) doing mindless shit. Will analyze and start tracking this this week. Shit I'm starting to own Seduction: Our sex life sucks. This is my fault. In the blue pill past I told her to meet my needs or I'd leave. This caused her to strongly associate my initiating with pressure, anger and frustration and that will take time to change. This week I've been backing off, being affect…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 11:38 AM
5

I will set an example for my sons. Either how to treat a woman, lead a family and be treated correctly in return. Or I will set an example of how to walk away when you are not treated acceptably and go on to lead an awesome life. I think this is my duty as a father. Sounds like you are doing the same.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 08:03 AM
7

My main event was me calling my wife's bluff on the divorce threats that she used to try to intimidate me into submission. This had been an escalation tactic for most of our relationship and I knew it was coming as soon as I didn't buckle on something significant. What OP did sounds like something else entirely.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 06:45 AM
1

I did pull-ups and dips on a rafter in the attic, used gallon jugs of water for curls and side raises, and did calisthenics. Clapping pushups are probably the best body weight exercises I've ever seen.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 06:18 AM
1

Athol Kay talks a lot about women needing alpha and beta. And it seems like even more beta is needed with babies and pregnancy. We're all very familiar with women's contemptuous or unfaithful reaction to lack of alpha. Is this just the flip side reaction to sustained lack of beta that we don't see as often?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 05:45 AM
3

In spite of that intolerant controlling man-hating cunt he calls his wife. His wife's behavior is a distraction from the real problem: OP's choices. This is the wife that he chose. Whose boundaries he chose to accept. Whose behavior he chooses to tolerate. Who he consistently chooses not to stand up to. Who he chose to have a child with. Who he chooses to allow to intimidate him into submission with her disapproval. Who he chooses to emotionally and mentally defer to regarding how he should live…
/r/askMRP23/02/16 03:05 AM
2

OP's going to walk out with a steak and start eating it in front of his wife. She's going to kick off. What's his next move? Does he just keep repeating "We'll talk when I've finished my steak." Its dominant but given where op's at it might be hard to pull off. Is there another approach you'd take to avoid the interaction? But OP, regardless of whether you have your steak before or after facing down your screeching wife, this conversation should involve very little talking on your side. In fact …
/r/askMRP22/02/16 02:15 PM
3

Yeah, I understand how that's a stronger move. But I think OP is going to start having this conversation as soon as he starts eating. And then he'll have to choose between letting his steak go cold and talking with his mouth full.
/r/askMRP22/02/16 11:47 AM
14

Firstly, read WISNIFG. Then sit down and explain clearly that you are going to start eating meat again. Fog her verbal attacks. Explain clearly that you are going to start eating meat again. Fog her verbal attacks. Explain clearly that you are going to start eating meat again. Fog her verbal attacks. Smile and explain clearly that you are going to start eating meat again. Fog her verbal attacks. Explain clearly that you are going to start eating meat again. Fog her verbal attacks. Explain clearl…
/r/askMRP22/02/16 08:58 AM
8

If you live in a big city, one of the easiest ways to learn mindfulness meditation is to search on google to see if there is a meditation group anywhere close. Newcomers are generally welcome (email them to see if you should show up early for instruction or something) and attendance is usually free with a small donation.
/r/TheRedPill21/02/16 02:24 PM
2

By telling you how she's hiding her flaws, she's ultimately just calling attention to them. This is something I need to remember whenever I feel like discussing a problem with my wife is a good idea.
/r/askMRP21/02/16 09:55 AM
3

This has been known to turn the wife on apparently.
/r/askMRP21/02/16 09:41 AM
6

To answer your questions in the post title, yes and yes. But this situation is my fault and my kids are amazing so I try to fix my marriage. Pre mrp I pressured my wife to fuck me by threatening to leave. This created a situation where she associates my initiating with pressure and anger. Post mrp I'm improving but this association is still there. If i apply dread (especially emotional withdrawal) overtly (like a beta noob idiot) it triggers this same adversarial dynamic. Thats my current issue.…
/r/askMRP21/02/16 07:19 AM
1

Anger comes from something external threatening something important to you. Firstly be honest and ask yourself what those two things are. Next understand that anger is fundamentally a victim based reaction to externalize blame and avoid ownership of the choices that put us in compromised situations. I think that when you are honest about those two points you will discard the anger as weakness. This was my recent experience.
/r/askMRP20/02/16 06:58 AM
2

if you had concerns you should have brought them up then, not waited until I was done to bitch about how I did it. Success depends on how you said this. Said with the right tone this could be a dismissive pressure flip - good. If it was whiny it could sound like you're victim-complaining she's being an unreasonable boss - weak. WISNIFG is critical. She should not get to decide right and wrong in your head.
/r/askMRP19/02/16 01:00 AM
2

When celebrities admit they have a drug problem, they craft the message so they are perceived as strong as possible in the public eye. I think this is slightly different. This is more displaying surrender to publicly shame enemies into not attacking (48 laws #22 perhaps?). But nonetheless a powerplay gaining advantage based on vulnerability.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:55 PM
2

make himself vulnerable is saying to the world, "I don't care what you think of me, this is who I am, and I refuse to be anyone else." He's saying he's not needy and that he's high status. "Vulnerable" (susceptible to ... emotional attack or harm) is the wrong word for this. I think "undefended" is closer. Actually this principle seems like the basis for a significant amount of alpha game. From another thread Plate: I've been seeing another trainer (she has me in her phone as Trainer...) Me: is …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:42 PM
2

Indeed. Perhaps we use the wrong word to describe someone expressing IDGAF regarding something that some would be insecure about.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:15 PM
1

I'm doing my best to hide it For sure. I do the same thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:11 PM
3

So this is like when my managing director goes to the bathroom, walks back into executive management team meeting 10 minutes later, looks around and goes "Sorry I had to take a big shit, please continue with the sales strategy."
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:05 PM
5

Calm your raging boner that your wife so rudely rejected, you big captain you. You deserve a little denial for tucking those balls up into your abdominal cavity for so long. (teary eyed sniffle) That's exactly what I needed to hear today, thanks man.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 10:53 AM
1

Male vulnerability -> female disgust Anyone who expects otherwise knows less than they should.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 10:37 AM
1

Go out and buy a pair of shoes that will make you think twice before kicking a rock or running in the mud. Shoes can get pricey and a lot of guys don't want to spend the money, but they're one of the few wardrobe elements where more money can buy durability and be a really good investment.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 01:55 PM
2

Ask HER to give YOU a massage. I can think of some blue pill/beta ways to do this. So my question is: what is the most dominant way people can think of to set this up and deliver that request?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 10:50 AM
2

I've been through this situation a number of times. I'm a fan of the following approach. Smile, laugh a little bit, shrug and just say "Look, I want you to do whatever you think this best for you, cause that's about who you are. I will never control you because that's not my game, and really, if you want to do X you should totally do it. I just want to be clear with you about what I'll do, because that's about who I am and I feel I owe it to your to be clear on that. And with me, if this happens…
/r/askMRP17/02/16 09:45 AM
2

And I'm pretty jealous of all that pussy you're hip deep in. Nice work there. An instaread book is like a 30 page summary. I think they're useful to get the main points for an approach to something if you trust the authors and don't need to be convinced that they know what they're talking about. For instance with Extreme Ownership, I trust that its the right approach due to the endorsement here and don't need to read 100 pages of examples to convince me before I get started trying to implement p…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 04:04 AM
1

After you heal a bit, can you destroy your abs, run and skip with a heavy rope frequently? Its not lifting but its something.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 03:22 AM
3

she almost got in a fight with a prostitute What a colorful life your girl leads. How do I handle this? Probably the best response is "Oh, did you get in late last night, I hadn't noticed. Anyway I'll be going to the gym later and then out with some guys I met there, we might be back late, don't wait up." Like other people have said whatever you do don't mateguard. She has become real close to him as friend and she cares for him ... it's gotten to the point of her going to a strip-club after wor…
/r/askMRP16/02/16 04:21 PM
2

Abs get most of the focus here but I think also, for a lot of guys, the attractiveness of their face increases by about 50% when going from 25% to 10% body fat. Something about losing fat from their neck/chin.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 03:33 PM
1

Shit I don't own yet Not a lot really. I'll probably find something this week and add it. EDIT: The level of Omega activities in my life. Will think about doing an Omega reset. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/37udt4/the_omega_reset/ Shit I'm starting to own Seduction: Our sex life sucks. This is my fault and its not going to be fixed quickly. In the blue pill past I took the entitled, unattractive, aggressive beta husband approach to seduction and told her to meet my needs or I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 03:17 PM
3

This is the right strategy but it needs to be paired with leadership in order to work. Do everything you can to be a solid captain and put in some extra effort to lead the family and reassure her. I'm not saying to give her good behavior to placate her when she's mad, or to come to her and say "Ooohhh...look what I did", but sort out problems out of the blue because it needs to be done and STFU. Make sure you are owning and taking care of everything on your ship. Also, never treat a legit mistak…
/r/askMRP16/02/16 03:43 AM
1

I think my anger in the anger phases also stemmed from using old tools (blame, anger, denying responsibility) on a newly awakened world view.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 01:33 AM
1

Fellow new guy here. I had my main event a couple months ago. Awesome work op. Gloves up.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 04:21 PM
1

I appreciate the perspective. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 02:13 PM
1

where you actually get to watch the goalposts moved in real time, and have to continually lie to yourself in order to believe it Sounds like my marriage before mrp.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 01:46 PM
6

consider for a moment that you're a guy that deserves to be cheated on Before things got bad and I found a solution here, I freely decided to be blue pill in my life and my marriage. That was a choice I made. For me, one of the most appealing blue pill lies was that I could retire from the sexual market place on a defined benefit scheme and have a steady supply of contractually obligated sex without working to maintain SMV or her attraction. Marriage was a way to pussy out. I'll never know if sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 12:14 PM
1

It's the attitude that makes the vagina tingle. Indeed. I'm trying to understand what people think is the defining element of that attitude. Maybe to make it a bit more subjective, what do you think is the core belief or fact about your relation to other people (men and women) that's changed in you since you started all of this? I know its just one opinion and I'm not asking for a universal definition.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 05:37 AM
2

There was a post 2 days ago about mateguarding. Perhaps read that.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/16 03:07 AM
2

These ideas have the ability to help men lead happier lives and the recent post about suicide illustrates why that's important. For that reason I think spreading the word is worth the effort. Based on my experience with another organization I would suggest the following approach for communicating to another man who might benefit from our help 1) Show the new guy you have personal experience with his problems by writing a few sentances about your personal experience of how things were before MRP.…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/16 02:23 AM
1

When I google I find this, which includes a pretty good discussion on the matter. My heart goes out to all of the families involved and I think most of us can relate to that pain and frustration. But in the absence of diagnosable mental illness (different situation), I think we are all free men who freely chose our path.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 06:12 PM
1

I should have been clearer. I assert that refusing mental deference is the key to the frame control/alpha element. I agree there are many other components to being attractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 03:25 PM
1

Isn't the key simply not prioritizing the judgement of other people above an individual's own judgement? Consider their opinions, ideas and judgements. Definitely consider their facts when forming my judgment. But never defer to another person's logic on whats right for me. I don't think its possible to lose frame (compliance, butthurt) without deference. Actually, this is what I took "you do you" to mean. But I agree that "be yourself" is simply one more blue pill strategy that doesn't work.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 02:42 PM
5

He was a volunteer, not a victim. No one drove him anywhere. He walked the path he chose whether he admitted it or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 06:51 AM
1

Her attraction for me is currently the side that is lacking.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/16 02:10 PM
1

The core of Alpha seems to be simply not prioritizing the opinions of other animals/people above an individual's own opinions. No morals, no good/bad. A beta male prioritizes the opinions of other animals (should I mate with this desirable female) in order to gain something, generally social inclusion and avoid violence in the animal world. As Mr. Cad says this is basically just frame and I cannot lose frame without prioritizing another person's opinions over my own. Trading compliance for appro…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/16 02:32 AM
1

In case anyone else reads this and has the same problem there is a very comprehensive treatment of the subject here.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/16 03:22 PM
4

So I hope you realize, when you so stupidly and transparently make your attention based on her sexual behavior, you're just suggesting the same kind of distasteful transaction. Thank you Mr. J10, I can't speak for OP but that is a 100% accurate assessment of how I've been fucking this up as well. Shot in the dark, things shut down sexually after you had a kid, and you were way too whiny and entitled about sex afterwards, and she resented you for that and subconsciously started distancing herself…
/r/askMRP11/02/16 02:00 PM
2

How are you handling it? Posting about it in Own Your Shit, reading a lot mostly. Right now my wife associates my advances with pressure and stress. I think I need to put some time in where I initiate, she can decline, and there are no negative consequences at all. Once the pressure and butthurt are a distant memory, then I can move to sex denial -> emotional unavailability. Right now she just thinks I've swapped butthurt for emotional withdrawal and I believe that is a result me doing this wron…
/r/askMRP11/02/16 11:35 AM
1

She comes in later naked and says come to bed. I tell her I'm busy. I think perhaps "We're not going to bed, you're going to fuck me right here on my desk" might have been a better response. Still dominate but not sabotaging what you want. She says she's awkward.. I push through and continue kissing. She is now pulling away from kisses. Finally snaps and says this is too awkward and to get off. I'm currently having a problem with my wife associating my initiating with all the pressure i put her …
/r/askMRP11/02/16 06:25 AM
2

Solid post and sound logic. Trying to control another person is a fools errand. My desire to do this means I think I need something from them, which means they have power over me, and I've just declared myself beta. On a different subject I'm not insensitive to the plight of Uberbetas (like yours truly several years ago) I log in today and see where people are today. Its good to have the perspective of where they came from. As a new guy, this gives me confidence that I'm in the right place and h…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/16 05:47 AM
1

Thanks for the comment. I think you're right. The key is to keep initiating and not caring about denials so the pattern is broken, while also increasing SMV and game to deal with the underlying lack of attraction.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 05:57 PM
1

try to be more specific, it's easier to see if you're moving towards it, or failing. Good point. Tangible makes it measurable. I'll try to put some more specifics down regarding what this would mean in each major area of my life.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 05:55 PM
1

Life is short and can be amazing. I want whatever is left of my short life to be as amazing as possible. Aside from blind luck, which is scarce, I believe that truth is the only path to this. I'm here because I believe The Red Pill, what you men have found, is a key part of the truth of what I am and what women are, which constitutes a huge part of human life. Virtually all of my experience before and after unplugging supports this. Vision - I want to help people because, in helping, anonymously…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 05:43 PM
2

OP, I used to be like you. I was the jealous, suspicious, scared, approval seeking type of beta. I totally would have done the things you did and reacted similarly had this happened to me 6 years ago. I had two problems: 1) I was ridiculously dependent on my wife's approval to feel happy 2) I was utterly, pathetically beta and had no idea how to be a high value man to get that approval. So my approach was to relentlessly seek her approval and try to control her into not giving me disapproval (cr…
/r/askMRP10/02/16 04:12 PM
1

You should hang around for a bit op. If you had some red pill you might not need all those bullshit chemicals to get your head right.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 08:48 AM
2

Your real problem is that you care more about what your wife thinks than whats right for you and your family. Do what's right for you as a man and for your family. Don't apologize for it since that is sufficient justification for anything you'll need to do. What's with the 911? You think she'll leave because you told some asshole to leave her alone? EDIT: Clearly more to this than the original post. OP, read all the prerequisites (so you at least understand the real issues) and post a proper sum…
/r/askMRP10/02/16 05:33 AM
1

Good point. So maybe not base jumping. But something awesome.
/r/askMRP10/02/16 02:59 AM
3

I finished the house Pretty solid oak move there. I think the important thing is to do something awesome, difficult and maybe a little dangerous with your alpha, creative energy. Starting a business is a great suggestion. Maybe mountain climbing if you're somewhere close to the mountains, or base jumping. With 4 solid hours of free time per day and some discipline, there are a lot of things that you could master in a year.
/r/askMRP09/02/16 12:11 PM
8

Shit I don't own yet Seduction: Our sex life sucks, has done for years. We met in a big city in Europe where we were both working after graduating and everything was good for a while, but then it went down to one a month obligation sex about 8 years ago. In the past I think this was primarily due to a lack of attraction and technique, and those are both things I need to fix, but I think we have a more immediate problem. In my recent blue pill days I was pretty aggressive with the tactic of "meet…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 08:53 AM
8

When a person does not or cannot stop drinking despite serious personal consequences, its because alcohol is more important to them that those other things, which is not normal. Continuing drinking in the face of serious repeated negative consequences, denial, extreme self justification, persistent resentment bordering on obsession, suicide attempts. This is a classic pattern of addiction.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 07:53 AM
11

If alcohol causes so many problems in your wife's personal life (suicide attempt, police involved, threatening her marriage) why doesn't she just not drink? Seems like what a person who didn't have a problem with alcohol would do given that recent history.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 06:53 AM
2

The truth will set you free. Internally through self honesty. Externally through red pill realism. Don't stop now. Use the pain/fear you feel right now to get a handle on what is in your head. You dont have to post it here but Write it down. What is threatened? Why are you depending on that? What are you not getting that you expected? What's underneath that? Do this enough and you'll uncover some core dishonesty that youve held onto for a long time that this fear is based on. Like the dishonesty…
/r/askMRP06/02/16 04:14 PM
5

Everyone reading this is lucky to have found a path out of the blue pill rat maze.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 03:48 PM
2

If the problem (fear) is in your head, thats where a fix needs to be applied. So lets look at that. Fear is generally caused by depending on something you can't control to provide you with something important. I'm concerned that I'm with a woman that is so secretive that she will cheat and I'll never have proof. It sounds to me that you are (unsuccessfully) trying to depend on transparency to provide you with something important. Why is the possibility of her cheating and getting away with it so…
/r/askMRP06/02/16 03:01 PM
2

Gentlemen, listen up – if you have a son, allow your son to grow into his own man. Lead him, foster a masculine environment, train him in discipline, work ethic, and teach him the reality of the world. I think there is also an important point that the only thing a man can speak with authority on is his own experience and how to do what he did to get what he got. If I want to be able to teach my son to be a strong, smart, alpha risk taker who gets results with women, business and life, I'm only g…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 09:33 AM
8

I am a married man who is now practicing to be single. I think this should be a central concept here. I was thinking about this a couple days ago, as a guide, in the form of "how would I be living if I was single?" Well, I'd be lifting, practicing game, working on my wardrobe, trying to make more money, building male friendships, creating a vision for my life, and taking full responsibility for where its going since I'm not relying on anyone but me. I definitely wouldn't be seeking a woman's app…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 08:54 AM
1

You're in the right place (marriedredpill). Start reading the side bar and learn what game you're playing if you haven't already. Lot of good advice here for OP, but your situation (not fighting a lot and moved out) sounds much more like situation one above. Sorry dude.
/r/askMRP06/02/16 06:47 AM
1

I'm ok if she cheated I just want to know what the fuck is going on. Not sure what the other men here (especially ECs) think about this, but I reckon taking her back after an admission of cheating is such a DLV that it may well kill your marriage from her side and you're probably better off in your current state of plausible deniability.
/r/askMRP05/02/16 10:11 PM
4

There are two very different situations here 1) You think she currently cheating or have evidence of her cheating in the recent past. Then by all means, catch her and divorce her. Pat test your kid. Face that truth head on and deal with it. 2) You think something possibly might have happened in the blue pill past and you can't get over the POSSIBILITY. I know about this scenario because I lived it. Your hamster will try to justify leaving over this because its scared and you think its not safe t…
/r/askMRP05/02/16 10:06 PM
4

I went through something similar. Strong feeling something happened in the distant past, but no evidence. I'll never know if anything happened, but my obsession with this, and specifically the fact that it fucked with me so much, was about my ego and me using her to meet my approval needs (cheating being the ultimate disapproval). Eventually, when I no longer needed her approval, I realized it doesn't matter what she did. If I have evidence of current (or recent past) infidelity I'll leave since…
/r/askMRP05/02/16 09:18 PM
2

If I lift late at night it keeps me up, but I can do cardio without causing insomnia. I do martial arts drills and related activities. Also, at night when everything is quiet is the perfect time to meditate.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/16 08:59 PM
2

As we improve, I think a lot of us will have times (especially when someone catches us off guard) when we react to an unreasonable request with old, weak behavior. Once I admit to myself that I acted like a pussy, the question is how I own that, understand it, and make sure it doesn't get repeated. What you outline seems like a useful process. Is the rest of the book any good?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 09:15 PM
1

You're setting yourself up for failure. Yup, you're right. I am pointing to something I cannot control and preemptively blaming it for the outcomes I'm scared of. Its a victim mentality. Step one, I'll stop doing that and see how things look. I am looking for other jobs. But I have a hard time distinguishing between the shortcomings of my organization that would be fixed my switching jobs and my own shortcomings that get fixed internally via analysis in the presence of discomfort. In any event I…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/16 07:06 AM
1

I'm going to look into Keto and Paleo. I model my current eating habits on Paleo but I can try getting a lot more strict about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 05:53 PM
1

If the problem is competence, then do you have a plan to fix that? A timeline? Honestly I don't know what the underlying problem is. Is there a design problem that means our product is just not in enough demand? Should I be driving the sales team harder, firing people who don't perform and hiring more aggressively? Are our problems just normal for an expanding startup and I need to accept the uncertainty and worry less? Not sure. I hope the problem is with me, because then I can fix it. I have t…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 05:52 PM
3

Shit I don't own yet Vision: I need to sit down with pen and paper (and some of the posts on the subject) to articulate a vision for my family that incorporates what I believe in. I will draft something on this in the next week. Sexual Technique: We've done the same thing in bed for 5 years. She always wants missionary. Its lame and its my responsibility to fix. Read half of SGM in the last week. Will attempt to finish it this week. Next time we have sex I will do at least one thing from that bo…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 08:47 AM
1

This is a really good analysis. I'm adding that list of Signs of Victimhood to the inventory I do every night to check myself and analyze the previous day.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 07:16 AM
4

jacking off his own hamster This phrase captures a lot.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 03:32 PM
0

"as strong as possible for me to be" Fair point, this one is a moving target. You can always get stronger. As such it doesn't belong with the other two as a benchmark for when to next your wife. When is that? On the broader topic, we never stop improving (this would be failure), but I think there is a point at which we discard our wives in the absence of sufficient value. However, until I have built the frame of Mr. Cad, the directness of Mr. Whinemore, the leadership of Mr. TTB and the game of …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 03:22 PM
2

However, they often still provide value to the marriage, and should not be discarded like yesterday's news Once my own house is in order, and I as strong of a man as it is possible for me to be, sufficiently representative of the example set for me by the mods and other men here, she will either provide value or be discarded like yesterday's news. But that day is not today. Also there is a time and a place for tact but this sub is neither.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 12:54 PM
1

I tried to use both but found the mime academy application one simpler and therefore more versatile.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 04:42 AM
1

I'm not suggesting DEERing the change itself. We change because its right for us as men and dont apologize. But I think its advisable to disguise the source. The advice here is not to let my wife find out about mrp. When you're about to go through the biggest change in your adult life its good to give her hamster a convenient excuse as to where it came from so she doesn't go searching your internet history.
/r/askMRP31/01/16 03:37 AM
-1

I would make up some minor epiphany to blame the changes on. She might like the recent changes but, if you follow this path, pretty soon there are going to be some changes she doesn't like (in the short term).
/r/askMRP30/01/16 05:03 PM
1

Next time tell her you're waiting for the Mime academy to accept your application I'm fairly new here and I have gotten great results by responding to her shit tests with jokes that refuse to take her point seriously.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 08:31 AM
2

so if she can change do drastically one, cant she change back again with the right lead? This is the only question in your post and its not understandable English.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 08:02 AM
8

When I say No I Feel Guilty has some pointers on this.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 06:51 AM
1

The 12 stages of dread makes a pretty clear process for turning the pressure up gradually and systematically. Standard advice is max one month per level. My experience is that things got more intense when I started consistently passing shit tests and was no longer under her control in a very visible way.
/r/askMRP28/01/16 03:51 PM
2

You can find 48 Laws of Power on audio book. Not strictly married game but still on the curriculum.
/r/askMRP28/01/16 03:42 PM
0

Perhaps voting and commenting in shitposts could be limited to mods. Personally I really enjoy the extremely direct feedback that gets handed out when idiots post things.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 03:30 PM
1

Why aren't you trying to get away from her to go do awesome stuff every chance you get? What do you want from her?
/r/askMRP24/01/16 12:55 PM
2

There is a clear process outlined in MMSLP and the 12 stages of dread. Have you thoroughly followed that? Seems unlikely that you would still be so affected by her behavior if you had. If you're going to emulate /u/theultimatecad I'd start by developing a frame that could stop a freight train. Then have a look at the world and see what seems sensible. Right now you can cheat if you want to, but you're seeking an external solution for an internal problem and it won't solve the real issue or make …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 07:56 AM
1

Right. Will focus there. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/16 05:28 PM
1

In the video the kid refuses to consider letting another person influence what he should do, think or be in any way. 100% sovereign. Frame like a bank vault I reckon. Lifting -> strength Diet -> 6 pack Passing shit tests -> respect Game (and a lot of other things in a marriage) -> sex Gentlemen, in your considerable experience, what action does a man take to change towards becoming more alpha? Edit: formatting
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/16 04:44 PM
1

I realized that I have conditioned my wife to associate Kino with my desire for sex which is bad. Are you doing the same with your wife? If so, stop it. It's a version of a covert contract. Fuck. That's totally what I've done. Even if I've let go of the covert contract in the past few months, she can't see my thoughts and probably thinks that's what I'm up to when I touch her. Again, if you have conditioned your wife to associate Kino with desire for sex then you need to backtrack and start doin…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/16 06:47 AM
2

With the red pill, truth as the path to strength. In my head as it is in the world.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 05:00 PM
10

Great post. The reason why this sub sucks at helping you with the emotional basis is that it is about your inner conflict facing your own bullshit that you refuse to look at inside you. Here in this sub we can't access that bullshit, only you can. I hope my experience can help other men. The following is a technique for addressing this that has helped me. It is an axiom that any time I am disturbed there is something wrong with me. Anger, fear, self pity. All weaknesses, all problems with me. Wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 04:32 PM
2

If she views you as another kid, you are screwed. Yes, 100% agree. My question is whether there are some specific tactics for keeping that separate with kino when there are a bunch of rugrats running around touching her all the time. Possible tactics I'm trying include Recognizing when she feels harassed and not touching her until she's had a rest Not escalating with her breasts if she's breast feeding. Not using kino when she is in the nursery Doing something immediately before (talking about r…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 03:00 AM
2

Game (flirting and kino) and dates are sure-fire ways to bring us back to where we were before we chose to become parents. I'm currently struggling with getting kino right. In our house the kids (2 and 4) are constantly initiating semi-affectionate physical contact with my wife to try to get her to be physically affectionate with them. She feels a bit physically harassed and I think that's normal. When she has been breastfeeding this is even more pronounced with the physical demands a baby makes…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 02:17 AM
2

So now she has begun stating that I am 'gone all the time' Isn't this is right where you want to be for stage 4 dread? With a little planning you can start conditioning things so that you're around if she does everything you want in bed and have better things to do if she doesn't. Maybe you shouldn't be trying to fix the tension but try to use it to your advantage.
/r/askMRP20/01/16 03:18 PM
1

Shit I'm owning Game: My game is weak. I need to game my wife more deliberately and consistently. I have read a lot of the sidebar and I feel like I have learned a good bit, but I don't have a measurable plan that I am executing, which means I don't know what I'm doing. I will start one of the books on game tonight. I've watched a number of Kino videos and I'm trying to deliberately use kino escalation during the day. We're having sex a couple times per week which is a huge improvement but nowhe…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 02:40 PM
2

The joy of kids might just be a lizard brain happiness thing. Just like having a hot girl on top of you with her big tits hitting you in the face is awesome, but you can't really say why. With kids and women there are things they can do to make it not fun, but in the absence of those things, its amazing.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 10:58 AM
4

You think you're the only one with insecurities? We do not share our negativity, fear, insecurities or weakness with our wives. The problem with the above interaction is whatever statement about your insecurities directly preceded it and caused her to compete with you for the title of biggest pussy.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 09:35 AM
7

Advice? Taking things your wife says personally = frame like a wet paper bag. If you hadn't taken that personally there are lots of ways you could have flipped that on her. 1) MMF would never work since the other guy would be too intimidated by me to perform, but you and another woman might barely be able to handle me. I'm just being sensible about this. 2) Yeah, I was thinking MMF too, your sister and her husband wanted me to join them. Do we have plans next weekend? 3) Yeah you love that MMF s…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 07:45 AM
1

I adore this tactic.
/r/askMRP19/01/16 03:08 PM
1

OP, I think I'm a month or two past where you are. My wife used to be a shit test dragon (because I made her that way). But since I've started passing the shit tests and got through a Main Event, she's basically respectful to me all the time, even when I do something that made her unhappy or inconvenienced her. For me the key was internalizing some of the content in WISNIFG. She's accusatory with her words and shames me into shit. Most of my wife shit tests where different forms of negative opin…
/r/askMRP19/01/16 02:55 PM
11

The only thing I can't stand is the hostility. My fear of hostility is caused by my need for emotional approval. In conflict, I directly observe how much I still need approval by how much I fear conflict. This allows me to see clearly and let go of that need for approval. My progress requires conflict. Conflict is my path.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 03:42 AM
2

I'd suggest he starts lifting tonight. Sorting out the budget needs to be done but will take time and it needs to be done right with the knowledge gained from the sidebar and prerequisites. There was a post a few days ago from a guy who did it right and it went better than he thought.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/16 04:34 AM
1

To begin with, understand that your best effort and thinking, while guided by the bluepill principles, turned you into a needy, powerless, beta chump. This is all that bluepill thinking and victimhood has to offer. Realize that your old ideas castrate you and you don't know anything useful in this respect. This surrender will make you teachable. Secondly, understand that it was YOUR effort and thinking that put you in this position. No one did this to you. If you are going to call your thinking …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/16 03:10 AM
2

Good theory which seems likely. But interesting that it looks like he didn't age-adjust his own score. OP sounds pretty baller, no?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/16 04:15 PM
1

I've been implementing many RP attributes into my behavior while I've been gone especially in my dealings with her. Sounds good. It makes sense that she would resent that and either want me to change my ways or leave the relationship. The issue is that, even as a marine (+1 or +2 SMV by itself?), because of the lack of your physical presence there is basically nothing you can do to generate more attraction in her towards yourself than the guys at her university (some of whom will red pill her wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/16 07:25 AM
3

Attractive wife [41F HB9] I just want to question that rating for a sec. Unless she's a former lingerie model it seems high and stinks of oneitis. If you do have any further interaction with her you must be free of oneitis or she will own you (coming back after that behavior) and know it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/16 03:51 AM
10

Its hard to imagine how you would maintain a higher SMV than the frat guys she'll be in close proximity to at the sorority. Hypergamy is a force of nature. Sorry dude. I think a better plan is to leave her to go be awesome and look her up in a few years.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/16 06:56 AM
2

Assuming she's as compliant as you say, this is a technical problem of delegation, management and training. The work you are asking her to do is menial domestic work and a bit of accounting, nothing she can't handle. You are responsible for making your expectations clear, training her once (have her take notes) in areas where she lacks knowledge (steak perhaps) and then providing her with everything she needs to do the work. Make sure you're doing that first. She is responsible for remembering o…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/16 06:23 AM
8

I search for the truth of what I am as a man because I think that's the key to living without internal conflict, in a way that is consistent with what I am (and what women are). I come here, as a student, because I think y'all have discovered it, with an initial focus on social and romantic relationships. The other time in my life when I learned about what I was like this was training boxing and having a couple of fights. I learned that the construction of my body is designed for fighting other …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 06:13 PM
1

Lightsabers sound fun. Could be cool. I don't know a lot about Wing Chung. But you might consider a sport with an emphasis on training towards full contact competition.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 05:19 PM
1

it's like agreeing that it's totally normal and acceptable not to have sex. The question is why you feel that's not the right answer.
/r/askMRP15/01/16 04:33 PM
1

I didn't care. For the first time ever I thought I COULD live without her. It scared me at first but I embraced it. I found it was important to have a number of strong male friendships when I went through this phase.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 03:44 AM
1

I would wake up at 2AM and just lie there and start up the hamster wheel. I would lie there agonizing and analysing my relationship with my wife. These thoughts would dominate my nightly routine of slumberless tossing and turning. I completely agree lifting is a primary component of the foundation of what we do here.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 05:57 AM
1

"I want your best or don't bother" Solid. Some variant of this will be my stock response to that situation in the future.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 05:48 AM
16

I think jerking off alone in response to a sex denial is a display of low value if she's conscious of it. I've read a theory (from Rational Male maybe?) that in the time before history the alpha guy fucked in the cave and beta guys jerked off alone in the forest. The theory was that there is still a vestige of this in a woman's mind causing their slight disdain for guys jerking off. I think either shrugging and going to bed, a light admonishment for bratty behavior or going to lift are stronger …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 04:39 PM
1

So then I think I need to be much more careful with the progression of the stages of dread, which I'm going super light on already on account of her being pregnant.
/r/askMRP12/01/16 06:29 PM
1

I used to have a lot of similar experiences with my wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 06:14 PM
3

I appreciate your concern and its an important warning.
/r/askMRP12/01/16 08:10 AM
1

Competition" would have to be from women at least in the same category as her... women you would spend your attention and emotional energy on... I think this is the core of it. Everyone has options and opportunities with lower SMV individuals but perusing those options is a display of lower value.
/r/askMRP12/01/16 08:07 AM
1

Farang expat women who suspect their husbands are making the most of the easy pickings are ridiculously easy to seduce. And they're crazy in the bedroom, without faking. Yeah, I got that feeling from some of the other expat wives. Hell, maybe I "know" your wife already. That next baby girl better have my eyes. Ha.
/r/askMRP10/01/16 03:49 PM
1

I appreciate the feedback of the more senior members who know more than I do about this. When I read it again I find the following in the wiki “Dread” is putting the fear or ‘dread’ in your wife that you have other opportunities and other options rather than being chained to her whims. Is "competition" the wrong word because competition is too conscious and dread needs to be a more subtle feeling that you're improving and leaving her behind?
/r/askMRP10/01/16 03:46 PM
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