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dadmacintosh Archive

View 28 posts and 253 comments by dadmacintosh on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
162

dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 06:27 PM
87

dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 10:40 PM
45

dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 03:54 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men07/11/21 10:45 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 03:11 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 11:28 PM
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Rantdadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 04:51 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 03:21 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 06:04 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 07:27 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 06:52 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 09:08 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 12:40 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 08:05 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 03:06 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 06:40 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 07:54 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 10:48 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 07:50 PM
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Lawyersdadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 02:38 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 11:29 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 06:56 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 07:11 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:01 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:14 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 12:20 AM
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dadmacintosh/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 11:12 PM
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dadmacintosh/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 10:42 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Her father was a part of the furniture. I understood this but never could express it this concisely.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 02:37 AM
2

This is me. 100%. 6 figure salary. Sacrificed my career to facilitate hers. Now she is discovering herself and goes to concerts, spends nights away from home… when she gets belligerent, I whip up my phone and start recording. That gets her to stop. Kids know her behavior is childish and disrespectful. You want to protect your kids as much as you can, but you can’t protect them from a bad mother. I tried for years, now I am resigned to the fact. Trust me, my friend, you are a good father. That’s …
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 07:17 PM
1

are all 7 kids yours given she has been unfaithful?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:35 PM
1

Enmeshed in her family of origin’s life and opinions. That’s me. Read my posts.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 08:23 PM
13

Be careful. She may harm you or others to make her predictions come true. Like when she feels Nathan is waiting outside to sweep her off her feet
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 08:18 PM
1

Get a cheap road bike and join group rides on weekends. You will meet a lot of people, It has done wanders for my social life and physical health. You are not alone. It is just you tried to lead your family with dedication and focus. The result is that you have lost friends along the way. Focus and dedication require you drop people that do not share life direction/priorities. I dont know how old you are but you will get to appreciate being alone and in peace. Yes, holidays, birthdays will feel …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 06:42 PM
7

Gentlemen, the equation is simple. OP is trading his time and the stbx promised to fund their lifestyle. In other words, she spends a lot of time outside of the home. Whoever brings in more money has the leverage. When this is the women,, the man is f'ed. My stbx and I make OK money and should have been in a position to make sound investments plan early retirement. Because she pissed away a lot of money on her parasitic family members (unbeknownst to me), I wont ever retire. Kids have will have …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 06:35 PM
7

Who cares! Enjoy your life. Disassociate with them online. Let them wallow in their misery. Meanwhile, you are free!
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 05:57 PM
1

Also please note if you sell the house, the gains would be taxable. As I put my documentation together, I realize the judge will use the state dissomaster
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:14 PM
2

Typical. Close to filing. I refuse to engage and I see her boiling inside.. itching to get a reaction. Your reaction will be used against you and will cloak all the aggression and abuse you have had to endure. A female friend told me recently she used to initiate big arguments with her husband (who is also a friend) on purpose. And the sex was much better after these arguments. In that he doesn’t engage, she feels they may divorce soon…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 10:07 PM
2

Correct. I have been wrestling with this for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 09:53 PM
5

They do not want you to be good at anything. Career, hobbies, social life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 10:07 PM
2

Same here
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 10:06 PM
1

In CA. I let her go full steam ahead with her career and mine took a back seat. She is not a good parent. She is more like a Disneyland parent not willing to do the daily work of parenting a 10 and a 13 year old kids, their school work, support etc. I make 180k and she makes 260k. She has never seen this kind of money and thinks we are wealthy with 700K in retirement accounts. She has spent 100 of thousands on her parasitic siblings (all divorced). I want to cut my losses and move on and try to …
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 02:40 AM
2

Leave, my friend. If she doesn't first, these words will kill you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 06:38 PM
2

Well, you answer your own question here. It will hurt you and the kids but besides killing you , there is nothing worse a woman can do to you. She cheated. I am stuck in a bad marriage for the kids also. They see how frustrated I am on a daily basis. STBX contemplated cheating but she didnt action it. If she did, I would be long gone. My advice to you is to leave and set yourself a house that can be a home to you and the children.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 06:35 PM
2

lol Genx.. glad you are making light of it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 10:27 PM
14

You see, you assumed she stayed because she was in love with you/respected you etc... It hurts but she stayed because she had use for you. You no longer fulfill that need or said need is not important to her any longer or she has someone else . When I bought my house 10 years ago, I could tell it was a broken home simply by the little pieces of furniture the seller left. The husband lived there for a while sleeping in a small room because he couldn't stand sleeping in the master he shared with h…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 02:27 AM
9

It is all familiar.. isn’t it?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 07:41 PM
1

Best advice. Get a credit card. Find a lawyer. Most attorneys offer 30 min free consultation. Talk to a few and make your selection. Money is king in this business.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 07:34 PM
5

True
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 06:46 PM
2

You will never get closure. Never. I know it is hard but try to live better (eat healthy, get physical exercise in your routine, sleep etc). The only person you need to prove something to is yourself. Not her, not your friends etc..
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 01:51 PM
3

Because she wants to see if you are doing better than her. Do you have a younger woman? Etc.. she may have gone through several guys and realizes she might have made a mistake. Don’t reengage, the best revenge is for you to live well and take care yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 09:01 PM
7

She is curious. Don’t bite.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 08:48 PM
2

Thanks. Just kills that I can protect them from a lot of people/things but not from their own mother. Every time she throws a tantrum my 12 year old looks at me as if to beg for me to not react. So yes, they see it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 06:21 PM
2

Since she doesn’t care how her actions affect the children who she claims she loves, I take them out without her and listen to their concerns, validate their feelings (she gaslights them which is sad). She threatens divorce and fights dirty. It has been miserable and I am talking to lawyers at the moment. Sucks but divorce is eminent
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:23 PM
10

She could never communicate like an adult. 2 kids later, she continues to terrorize the children with her meltdowns.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:30 AM
3

Damn, this is a very similar story to mine. Have been mulling over divorce for sometime. I stay to preserve the kids’ standard of living. Mine hides money too and spends it lavishly on her loser parasitic family members. I have taken a huge hit career wise because she is just not fit to be a parent and has narcissistic meltdowns like what you describe. Her relationship with your girls is going to get worse as they mature and become ‘more attractive’ than she is. Trust me this is how they/women t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:59 PM
3

Make like a goddamn tree and leave!
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 12:30 AM
1

Barely speak with my stbx. Kids have suffered in silence, which sucks. Not talking to her has been great. I look forward to busting out this summer. Regrettably, kids’ standard of living will suffer as neither can afford the house.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 09:37 PM
1

and done
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 08:18 PM
4

Sounds like she came out of the same factory as my stbx. Not one apology. Not one, thank you for sacrificing your ambitions to take care of our children, not one serious conversation without her complaining I was an abuser, a control freak etc etc... Going through the process now. Still reside in the same house. She has had two trips to Vegas in 2 months, has a romantic interest she would like to pursue... She has given you the ultimate gift, bro. Take it. Leave and never look back.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 08:17 PM
1

I think I was misled here.. but I never signed a quit claim deed. Just put the house in her name at 9 years ago as the plan was to buy another home in my name without the debt load of the marital home... that was a stupid stupid stupid decision on my part...
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 06:19 PM
15

You are being used. She married you for a safety blanket. I am going through a divorce myself. It will be liberating once you take steps to separate yourself from her and her children. My advice is to leave sooner than later
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 02:38 PM
1

My good man.. I am at the beginning stages of a divorce. I don't know how it will go but it will go for sure. Recently, I met a woman that was into endurance sports and we hit it off. Spent sometime together. I realized I was starting to develop feelings for the woman-------- wisened up to the fact that this is the first women that paid real attention to me, took interest in my interests etc. Felt good but I had to cut it short. Why? I know I am vulnerable and 'feening' for attention and the fee…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 03:06 PM
3

Oh man. I was reading on mobile and didn't see that part. Fuck I am calling it quits after 14 years and two kids. OP, my advice stands. RUN.. never look back.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:08 AM
15

if you do not yet have kids with her, RUN. It gets worse, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:13 PM
2

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:47 AM
3

My read as well. Just found out this morning she is offering a $50k ‘loan’ to one of her parasitic siblings. Hard choice between her and slimy lawyers..
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 10:02 PM
2

To the extent I can. She keeps ‘her money’ separate and does whatever she likes. Contributes just what she has to to a mutual account out of which bills gets paid.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 10:00 PM
3

I am stuck at this point. She wants me to file so she gets to tell the kids I am the one that wants out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 06:08 PM
1

Tried to do the right thing on Mother’s Day also. Bought her roses and balloons from the kids. They gave it to her and she hardly acknowledged it. She has sabotaged important holidays for years. The kids sort of expected it. Thanks for your advice
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 10:44 PM
0

Tried therapy. Feminist therapist heaped all guilt on me. Stbx wants me to be the one that files so she can tell the kids it is me that wants out. My son sees things for what they are. She exposes them emotional baggage they are not yet equipped to handle. I want to leave. I am done. But it breaks my heart to pieces when my daughter cries herself to sleep. Somebody told me, the one who cares more loses. Yup that’s me.. thanks for the advice
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 08:24 PM
2

Have the same issue. She makes 100k more than I do. I make high 100s.. but we live in a high cost state/city. She makes the 100k more because she works weekends. I am with the kids 70-75% of the time. I found out that she has been funding her family members dysfunctional lives and bad life decisions. We have $0 saved for the kids' college, cars etc.. I am stretched thin financially. She pays about 25k/year for private school but I manage the kids' entire schedule. Can't travel for work ---- mean…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 06:16 PM
7

🦗 that’s what you do
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:04 PM
4

well, sir. she is his problem now- not yours. light up a fat cuban to that!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:59 AM
1

Yup.. again mine said she wanted out 8 years ago. It has been me that has refused to do it----- for the kids...
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:31 PM
3

Same situation. I know of her desire to go do things with her friend who I know is cheating on her long time husband. I am paralyzed overthinking things - mainly how a divorce will affect the kids. It has been tedious but I am compiling information that will be needed once I start the process. What I know for sure is... whoever cares more loses. This has been me for 8 years now...
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:29 PM
3

Gave up my career for hers. Therein lies the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 04:23 PM
5

Ultimately, the kids pay. I asked because in my experience, women have a hard time regulating/compartmentalizing their feelings and treat their children horribly during and after the divorce. This could take shape in them sharing information about your divorce or you that the kids are not prepared to deal with. Good move on the therapy but I suggest spending time with him.. as much as you can given the circumstances. Commiserations.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:56 AM
2

My question is: do you think your ex-wife is doing anything to cause him to self harm?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:47 AM
3

I can have consulting gigs. From other comments on the thread, establishing a LLC may be a way to do it. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 02:58 AM
1

Nope. She is getting laid. He is likely not. Guilt is what makes her agreeable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 10:56 PM
4

Be careful. Have your cell phone in tow and record her reaction. Sleep with one eye open.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:33 PM
2

This…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 02:16 PM
4

Makes sense re: conflict of interest should STBX want to retain the same lawyer..
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 08:45 PM
2

Physical exercise works for me
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 06:39 PM
2

Matthew 7;6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 10:32 PM
3

I popped up to post a legal question and this came at the top of my feed. First and foremost, OP, if you dont have any kids with this woman, run. I mean run. My STBX makes almost 100k more than I do.. mind you, I make a hair less than 180K. We live in a high cost of living area so in the big scheme of things, this is not a big number. She hides money, spends a lot of money on her family of origin (full of divorcees and their disorderly adult kids), struggles to pay her taxes every year, and does…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 09:54 PM
2

Yes it is! Less so with fully formed/mature/confident guys. With women, the exact opposite.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 09:53 PM
9

Yup. It is. Stayed for the kids. Now, dying for them. No meaningful relationships/friendships. She alienated my family. So no visitors at home. No family dinners. Just stay in the same house for ‘the kids’
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:48 AM
1

The competition has many dimensions. The main competition being the one for time. Childcare (school work, food, house keeping, activities etc) takes a lot of time. When competing with other men, working out etc.. time is a precious commodity. If your wife has other loyalties, i.e. her boss, her work etc., you end up scaling back so she can go realize her dream..
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 05:43 PM
1

The coldness of the reaction or the absence of a reaction says it all... Congrats on your divorce
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 05:37 PM
2

Spot on.. that is how it feels and is...
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 05:14 PM
3

Correct. Still married but on the way to divorce
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 05:13 PM
2

I bet she is getting dug out herself... so what is the fuss about? If it is over, it is over. I would caution you to keep things under wraps until after the divorce if final though
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 03:07 AM
1

Other way round. STBX has been spending lavishly for years on her family of origin.. deadbeat siblings and their kids...
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 07:41 PM
2

You expect birthday wishes from someone that wants nothing to do with you? Comeon. See the light. She will likely get on the carrousel for sometime and ask to make things work. Right now, she gets to have the benefits of cohabitation without any obligations toward you. I know finances are an issue but plan to move and live separately. It will help you see things more clearly.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:40 AM
1

Keep a diary. Detailed notes. Will come in handy discussing these issues when your kids are adults. For now, protecting them should be your priority.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:36 AM
2

When her guilt wears out, you will be framed. Put a camera on her face every time you interact with her
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 09:06 PM
3

I heard a YouTuber say, if it flies, floats or fornicates, lease it dont buy it. It is cheaper to pay upfront and be on your merry way. I know, it is empty, nihilistic....c'est la vie..
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:24 PM
17

You are a man of conscience. That is all. However, I learned the hard way that a man has to activate his inner asshole to survive western relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 04:56 PM
1

The tough part of this, you will be made to be the bad parent if you tell your kid to not bring the rabbit to your place. This will affect your relationship with the kid. I say, cut your ex out and have an honest conversation with your kid and let her know if you are willing to host the pet or not. In case you are not, be prepared you will be guilted to accepting the pet...
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 10:33 PM
1

Run. She has given you the best gift ever. You will level up..
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 07:57 PM
13

Where is this woman that saves the biggest piece of chicken for the man!?? She must be a unicorn
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:10 AM
2

Thanks. Hence, my bringing the issue to this forum. Have clarity of thought from all the advice in this forum. Speaking to an attorney tomorrow and lock in a settlement proposal.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 04:07 AM
2

Yes, another concern. The whole family is dysfunctional and full of unexorcised demons from generational trauma…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 04:00 AM
3

Did a few years back. In the process, I learned it doesn’t work for the man. Will never go through it ever again
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 10:21 PM
6

Thanks. I needed that kick in the ass..'...neither convenient or cost friendly'
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 08:14 PM
1

Thanks. Speaking to an attorney. Have 90% of the info I need. Just heartbroken over the idea of upsetting my kids' lives/ their sense of security; the trauma that will follow. Their mother can't think past today... She doesnt think she is doing anything wrong.. or it is 'her money- her right' to do whatever she likes....
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 08:13 PM
0

I read the title and I thought, ‘so what?’ Yes, this is cold but please put yourself in her place and try to imagine if she would show the compassion you display on this post. My compassion is for a kid that loses a parent.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:29 PM
3

That’s right. I am starting the divorce journey myself. I have stayed ‘for the kids’. But hell, keep smashing. Be protected and remember to never buy something that flies or fornicates.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 11:37 PM
1

Wait, guilt? Wtf, bro!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 08:02 PM
1

Use google voice
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 02:42 AM
1

She could be lazy sometimes… that turns to indifference after kids. I don’t encourage you to step out on your marriage but other women are just that. Sleep with one and you will realize sleeping around is not what’s cracked to be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:01 AM
1

Not divorced yet. But stbx insists on spending thanksgiving with her dysfunctional family. I am not going. So she will take the kids with her. So, like the dude said, I will find out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 10:34 PM
1

600? Dude, pay! Your freedoms is infinitely worth more
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 07:46 PM
1

Why do guys marry women with kids?? Why??
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 02:51 AM
1

Got two kids and a wife doesn’t give a shit about what I like or don’t like. It took me a long time to go back to a hobby I get to do once a week. She resents the hell out of anything I like. It gets shittier once you have kids. I know from experience. That said, don’t have kids with this person. Perhaps, this is also your clue to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 02:42 AM
10

You married a mother of four daughters. That totals five vampires. They are not your daughters, the woman is there to use and throw you. Leave before it is too late.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 01:55 AM
5

A good example of how to complicate your life. Leave dude. Leave. Nothing more to say.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 12:05 AM
1

Dude, get a lawyer. You should know she will get some bottom feeding attorney to work for her on contingency. If she is too broke to afford her own place, understand she will try to take you for as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 03:57 PM
12

She doesn’t want to divorce you. She wants to go on pogo sticks and come back to the security you provide. Watch this. https://youtu.be/Hg0oElWfGDg
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 01:52 AM
5

This helped me a lot. Hope it does for you. Take 30 minutes each day to log your interactions with her. Nothing too long but state your position on the matter, her verbal or otherwise responses. Writing this tuff down helps you think though your reality. Abuse invalidates your perception, your sense of reality and sends you in a tailspin if you are a kind/considerate person. The other thing. Stop engaging. Keep your interaction to a minimum. Recognize when you are having an emotional reaction an…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:52 PM
1

Have a consulting attorney that will review and settlement and disclosure documents before you sign. At the very least, they will let you know what you are leaving on the table when taking a deal. Have looked into it as I am considering divorce..
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 02:33 PM
3

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 01:40 PM
5

Legendary.. yes indeed. The salient question is… what drove him to this? Yes he did something stupid but I bet he has a story to tell.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 07:53 PM
5

Wtf!
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 12:02 AM
2

I know others said it, but she is making up for something that’s missing in her life. I learned through a rough marriage that women don’t know why they feel one way or another: worse what the feeling is. So they lash out or take to social media the way your ex is doing. The best revenge is to live well, bro. Don’t waste your time on what she is saying about your relationship. Have you ever, I mean ever, heard a women say she left a good relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 05:30 PM
2

Chin up, bro. Her friend’s text gave you a glimpse into female nature. Unfortunately, women become the company they keep. If you can manage financially, make an exit. Keep taking care of yourself and the kids. Feeling lost is natural and almost proportional to how invested you have been in the marriage. It will wear off.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 03:20 PM
5

Hey look! OP just took the red 💊
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 03:11 PM
2

Marriage counseling does not work for men. Dont waste your time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 10:43 PM
2

Recognize you have a part in all this but you are claiming more responsibility than you should. Understand she had thought about it for years before she said it to you. Probably has another man waiting on the side. Don’t beat yourself up.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 02:25 AM
5

Honestly, pick up a hobby that has you interacting with people. You can meet someone with similar interests.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 07:12 PM
2

We love you dad… that’s the stuff!! Live well and spend time with your kids. Even though they are older, please know this will have an effect on them. So talk to them. A lot. You will thrive post divorce. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 11:05 PM
1

If you are supporting the family and doing all the chores you mention, how is she a good mother? Or wife?
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 12:08 AM
1

Yes indeed this
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 10:28 PM
2

As a caring father, you always think she would leave him with scum relative or take her anger out on him… yup, of course she wants the support without the responsibility…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 11:57 PM
6

Unless it is about our daughter… there in lies her hook.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 02:45 AM
3

You demon! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 02:44 AM
7

Thanks for sharing, bro. Happy things are looking up for you. Remember, the best revenge is to live better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:42 PM
8

Solipsism is the word you are looking for
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 01:31 AM
3

Anger is a response to [an] injustice/s. It is also frustration that you can’t address it adequately with your ex. The thing is, you will never have closure with your ex or get back the life you thought you were. Easier written than done, but acceptance is the only way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 02:30 AM
3

In the end the attorneys are the only winners. This has kept me in a shitty marriage for far too long. Sacrificed time, joy, relationship with family and friends. I found a mediation company whose team has a lawyer, a forensic accountant, a psychologist and actuary. Stbx wants out but knows she will be screwed financially on top of which the house which we will have to sell. So the $10k mediation plus the cost for a consulting attorney and a QDRO specialist—- $20k. Why does divorce cost so high?…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 11:22 PM
1

Love hearing this. Men doing better after going through the meat grinder. Was thinking of driving Uber even….
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 02:26 PM
1

Indeed. I ride a bike. A lot. It’s done wanders for me. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 09:12 PM
2

This
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 10:52 PM
3

Keep the car. Sell afterwards. Don’t make any sudden money moves leading up to divorce. If you end up in court, the judge may not like it. There was some good advice I received on this sub but the moderator removed all of it. If you have skills, look at Upward. The site has freelance opportunities you can make money on..
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 03:09 PM
2

Ca
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 05:35 AM
3

Nah she actually has to pay me. I am looking to save something for the kids college…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:44 AM
4

If you know where she works, there is a way to garnish your portion of her income before she even gets paid… talk to a paralegal or search YouTube..
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:17 AM
2

Yes sir.. it is now coming back to bite them..
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:16 AM
1

This too
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:14 AM
1

Useful site. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:57 PM
2

I do the entire evening routine from school pick up to bedtime. At 50/50 custody, I will have a few hours that I need to put to good use. Hell, even drive Uber if I have too..
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:39 PM
1

She has rage fits. She is abusive and totally unaware of how her actions affect others. I know about one of her past relationships (I know the guy). He left her without much of an explanation. She is like two different people. Her persona with her work clique is bubbly, happy… she comes home she is the exact opposite… mind you, I have been the 70% care giver to the kids for years. So she doesn’t really have much to do at home. She does have unhealthy attachment to her family of origin. It is bas…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 12:35 AM
1

Suspected this for several years. We have no meaningful relationships with others. The only people she has a relationship with are a clique at her work and some of her siblings.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 03:20 PM
3

Agree
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 01:14 PM
3

No I haven’t. This year may be it. Of course she tells my 7 year old she wishes she could leave dad… it it heartbreaking and yes, I am pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 09:07 PM
1

Yes indeed. Get a judgement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 10:09 PM
2

Go on a date with someone else. Have a great time, sex etc etc.. that should get you some valuable perspective. I know it sounds cynical but I am serious. She cheated on you once, she won’t hesitate to do it again. Please read, The Third Gift. It is an easy read on kindle. Ask yourself why she wants to stay in the marriage after cheating (perhaps after having full fledged affairs)… good luck, mate
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 04:31 PM
1

All true.. an unhealthy attachment to either parent is not good.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 04:25 PM
10

The key relationships in her life. Her relationship with her father is top. If she has a respectful and loving relationship with her dad, it is likely that she will afford you same. Also if the father is around study him. If he is a part of the furniture (weak) that is your future with the woman. You need to run for the hills and not look back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 02:01 PM
6

😂🤣
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 01:57 PM
1

Good luck. You don’t have children, so this should be relatively pain free. You will have financial loss but I am sure you will make it all back with a calm and peaceful mind. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 03:09 AM
5

Allow me to be blunt, mate. WTF is wrong with you? Maintain distance I.e no contact. Finish your divorce and report back!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 11:48 PM
3

We men are fools. We learn the hard way. Hope you retain a lawyer asap.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 03:49 PM
2

What possessed you to agree to ‘no lawyers’? Just giving you a kick in the pants, mate. Lawyer up today. You are already late.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 01:07 PM
2

Reminds me of my gump neighbor whose wife doesn’t allow him to ride with me one a bloody week! Sad.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 03:41 PM
3

Indeed
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 04:55 PM
2

I try to have one proper (cooked) meal a day. I don’t eat breakfast. If I do, it is brunch on weekends. I portion ingredients and store them in ziplocs. What sucks is cooking takes time regardless of the portion size… it is not an efficient art
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 04:34 PM
3

An air fryer! Also add bbq on your list.. you don’t need a giant grill.. you can use a George foreman .. I know cooking is a challenge so try to see what’s there on YouTube also
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 01:14 PM
1

Bad marriages do this to you. Take your humanity and turn you to a cynic. Do co-own the property? Are children involved?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 04:05 AM
1

Yeah man. Fix the car and drive it for Uber if you have to. Good luck with all this. I understand this will be a tough road ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 07:42 PM
1

Get a lawyer, man. Only way to go about this. I know it will be expensive but hell it is worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 07:39 PM
5

She can’t take the kids anywhere without your consent. Consult an attorney but it would amount to kidnapping your children if she doesn’t let you see them or let them spend time with you.. not a lawyer but I think you have a strong legal ground to sue and obtain a divorce and a custody agreement. But first, get a job. Get your finances right asap.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 03:46 AM
4

R.U.N.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/22 02:02 AM
3

Suggested viewing for any man. 👊🏾
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 07:54 PM
7

Suggest a heavy dose of Coach Greg Adam’s YouTube content.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:23 PM
2

You are welcome. I hope you get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 03:45 AM
-2

Then she pickeled your balls and put them in a jar.. ..
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 03:02 AM
2

No women for me. I am working hard on my career which I had to let go in order to have an equal partnership type of marriage. Also focus on the kids and be there for them when they need me. It is a sacrifice I feel I have to make for now. Leaving the children in her custody (even part time) is a death knell to their upbringing. As they say, the one that cares more almost always loses. I know I am.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:43 AM
2

Please do get therapy. It does wanders. Have you explored any legal avenues for the family court to grant his wish to stay with you - essentially alter the custody arrangement in the interest of the child?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:38 AM
3

Others have provided enough advice. I strongly suggest getting your son therapy. Same for your self. Keep your lawyer informed about it. What is the age of consent in your state?
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 11:46 PM
2

Feel you OP. We all end up on this sub because of similar experiences. I continue to stay in a marriage because separation would degrade my kids standard of living… have not slept in the same room for a decade.. mine is at least civil as she knows the other side ain’t greener. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 11:40 PM
2

Bait and switch is real.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 11:37 PM
1

Telling her father or her family members wont do you any good. Embarrassing her may also hurt your kids. Yes, the burden of being a man. Keep your evidence in a safe place and get out of the marriage. Once a woman cheats, there is simply no way back. Remorse may get her to shape up but trust me it will be temporary. As they say, she will be back to the streets. If you are in a position to leave, get out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:48 PM
8

Broke down because she got caught. Get out and forget. That should be your goal.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:07 AM
2

I know a wife that works just as much as her husband. But she has so much baggage from her family of origin, she is literally bankrupt. You didn’t make a bad decision to let her stay home. That’s the best scenario to raise a family. Did she spend or get in debt without your knowledge?
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 02:33 AM
2

Like what the others said, do see a therapist. A man if possible. Why do you feel the way you do? Finances? Loneliness? Poor health? Where is your anxiety coming from? I know it is hard to be rational in your situation. But do remember even this shall pass. Get a hobby. Cycling helps me to this day. Ride 30 miles somewhere quiet. That’s two to three hours to clear your mind. Wish you well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 03:26 AM
1

I moved valuables and locked them in the bedroom. Stuff like my $5k road bike etc… she may be trying to get a reaction from you. I don’t think it is just carelessness.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 12:08 AM
3

Learn from others that made the same mistake you mulling over and will likely make. Don’t get married. 7/10 marriages end in divorce. The other three have reasons to keep people in marriages. Usually, not having money, young children each parent can’t raise on their own etc etc…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 01:27 AM
6

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 01:24 AM
9

The joke was not disrespectful. It was simply a joke. Javier could have reacted the same way!
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 09:08 PM
3

You got your answer. Mine is no different and I am looking at divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 06:51 PM
2

Yeah, that too!
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 06:06 PM
44

They usually do. They sleep around for a while and realize divorce is not what it is cracked up to be. They regret it when they see you do better. They almost never admit though. If/when comes back, it is because she has run out of options and she feels you are the best she can ever get. Never take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 01:43 PM
7

She is his problem now. Chin up, lad. Treat yourself to something nice and plan ahead. You will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 03:02 AM
13

No post mortem. No venting. Mind you, anything you say can be and will be used against you. It is a trap and she will push your buttons. You will respond emotionally. Then you will be labeled as all kinds of things. My recommendation is to not do it. If you do it, have a third party present. If you want to vent do so with a sibling, a friend or a parent. She may also have gone partying post your separation and is only now realizing the grass is not greener on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/22 01:06 AM
6

Buy her new husband a drink and then casually state, ‘she is your problem now.’ Chin up!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 05:14 PM
1

I realize that now… went out on a long solo bike ride over the weekend and it was fantastic. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 04:35 PM
1

Except I got it for fitness. A 2000 ft climb beckons for the weekend
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:15 PM
2

Wise words. Thank you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 05:08 PM
2

Thank you. Needed this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:06 AM
5

Been chasing the hobby for a while. On the wrong bike. Now I got professional equipment. It has done wanders for my health. Old dudes rule.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 07:22 AM
5

A zippy road bike. It is a thing of beauty.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 07:12 AM
4

Yes sir. Hear you loud and clear. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 06:11 AM
12

First, you posted this. Enough to conclude you are not a narcissist. She is shaming you and seems she succeeded in planting a lot of guilt … shake it off. Don’t be apologetic for what you are or want out of relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 09:36 PM
2

Run. It will only get worse with age. Not to mention family law implications if you stay longer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 09:51 PM
3

Start with parks (Legoland, Disneyland etc). That way, activities are pre planned and will keep the kids interested. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:35 PM
4

Wife had enough of my shit… what a statement.. sounds like you are an echo chamber of her complaints. If you have to leave, leave and live with the consequences. That’s the difference between men and boys.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 01:38 AM
2

Same. Let it go. Focus on rebuilding yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 12:03 AM
1

You are separated and still expect exclusivity? This thing was over when you decided to separate. Grow as people means her going on the carousel and you, well, dating multiple women. Sorry this is too cynical, but it is the reality. Chin up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/21 10:28 PM
2

I hear you. Document her neglect as much as possible. It is hard to win when you care more. Yes, please do contact a few lawyers and ask for consultation. Present your situation and they can present your options. Child/spousal support is a clear abuse of men.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/21 03:50 AM
1

First off, my sympathies. She can’t take responsibility for anything, can’t discuss differences/concerns as an adult without wreaking havoc, doesn’t care about your well-being or the children’s. You sound like an empath. Unfortunately, that’s an invitation for abuse these days. So this will be hard for you. Please leave for a few days (make up a reason) and then record the condition you find the house in. Compile as much evidence as possible. Then file with a demand of full custody. I know it wi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 10:43 PM
1

Agree. Consult an attorney. Minimize interaction. Eliminate intimacy. Keep daily journals and email them to yourself. Get her to agree to a date of separation (can be done even when living in the same household) in writing. You may really have to move out if she is prone to confrontation. I understand it will be hard to tell your kids. Commiserations on that…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 07:53 PM
7

Bottom line- the one [parent] who cares more always loses.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 03:18 PM
1

She wants to go through mediation. My dilemma is how to subpoena evidence going back a few years. Not sure if it is even possible…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 04:03 AM
1

She has supported them for years. When asked to redirect our funds to our kids’ future (college savings etc) she has refused.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 06:26 PM
1

The amount of marital money she is throwing at it makes it an issue. The money is better directed to our kids’ future.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 03:51 PM
1

Suggest staying away. Minimize interaction. Regardless of what’s going on in her head or her life, you control you. Stay away from conversations that may trigger you or her. Get on with the divorce. She may be having second thoughts but that’s not your business. If she found it okay to stay away from you for months, understand there may have been someone fulfilling her needs.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 06:33 PM
6

Run, dude. Run. Don’t look back. Date around, settle in single life. Finish off the paperwork on the divorce. That will be the best gift you will give yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/21 04:14 PM
1

She would do it for attention, subs and $s.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 10:27 PM
3

I know. I have gotten this same advice so many times. Recently took major steps to maintain my health and time away from work and the house. I am getting results. Lost 25 lbs. can bike 50 miles on one sitting. Her envy is through the roof and doesn’t know what to do with herself… January will be a big month. As cliche as it sounds.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 12:13 AM
4

You have won the ultimate prize. Your divorce. Let it go. The best revenge is to be successful and healthy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 12:01 AM
3

It is crazy. Sacrifice literally everything- career, friendships, relations with family members. Only return is access to the kids and being there to help them solve problems, with school work and emotional support. Then she drops the divorce bomb but stays around because her divorcee friends tell her it is not worth it… it is a raw deal
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 11:54 PM
8

This hit me like a ton of bricks. This woman describes my marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 11:11 PM
11

Having sex cancels out a date of separation you may have agreed on. So tread carefully, or move out once she signs agreement that states you both agree you are not abandoning the family. Have you considered she is egging you on to argue so she gets the high of make up sex? She may still be ‘attracted to you’ . A woman never submits to a man she doesn’t want to…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/21 05:18 PM
6

Sorry you are going through this. Have gone through the same exact scenario. What I learned after 11 painful years: - couple’s counseling never works for men. Don’t know why men volunteer for it - you can’t manage two careers. One has to sacrifice. In my case, it has been me. But then I faced demands for money and more money so she could spend hers on her dysfunctional family - suggest retaining a lawyer. Get your finances in order and prepare to leave it all behind ** every time we traveled wit…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/21 04:06 PM
1

financial statements. It is not just filling out yours but checking stbx’s also. Weeding out lies.. good luck
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/21 02:28 AM
2

Have been in the same boat. Several years later, she takes it for granted that we will host her family or visit them. Not even a phone call to my folks. This year, put my foot down. She made no effort to observe the holiday at home and took out children to one of her siblings’ homes for dinner. Cut her lose. Now. Don’t have kids. Just get her to go.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/21 07:28 PM
1

It is a tough situation. Rents are skyrocketing everywhere. Moving out of a home to an apartment and paying more in rent is just too painful. If you have a settlement, I would move to a two bedroom. Supplement your income by working a couple of hours (Uber, Lyft etc) and make a few bucks on the side.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 12:10 AM
2

Lucky you dodged a bullet. Having kids would have made this infinitely harder. Don't expect a woman's family to give her up- right or wrong. I learned the hard way- after kids got involved. Trust me, just get out. If there are no pending financial issues tying you two, just get out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 11:43 PM
6

The most painful part of this, OP married a single mother of two! Now he is responsible for maintenance and child support. I hope this will not be the case. OP, get a lawyer and gtfo. She will drive you to an early grave.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/21 12:15 AM
2

Feel your anxiety. Divorce does impact your ability to mentor, protect and provide. Half the time, you have no control what the kids do, who they see etc. Hope you and your wife can have a level headed conversation to decide on what is best. While that may be possible, I surmise you feel you can’t have this conversation with her? It is likely that either or both of you are emotional? The best choice for everyone would be to live within 20 minutes of each other and the school. Are you able to wor…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 01:13 AM
6

Let the attorney do all the talking. Don’t try to appeal for consideration or prove your stbx is a dirt bag. Good luck, mate.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 11:54 PM
2

You are already cohabitating before the said prenup. She can get you by the balls marriage or no marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 09:42 PM
3

This is gutting. DNA test.. you should do immediately. Then involve dcfs regardless of the outcome of the test results
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 01:58 AM
5

Exactly my question
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/21 05:18 PM
3

File ex parte emergency motion if you have not
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 10:51 PM
1

Feel for you. Just know that a lawsuit won’t bring about a change of behavior on her part. Read an article called, The Calculus of Divorce. It will put things in perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 03:08 AM
7

Vent away. It is not right for her to not tell you. But then why should she? So you can hold her accountable? Or so you can take precaution so you and your mother don’t get covid? Lower your expectations and control things you can… Not sure what a lawyer can do in this situation. You are better off saving the money and investing it in your or your daughter’s future.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/21 04:07 AM
1

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-7-levels-of-disrespect-from-females-must-read.192397/
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/21 12:48 AM
4

Yup…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/21 12:45 AM
17

Run before she drops the, ‘I am pregnant’ on you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 06:01 PM
1

Everyone has been a simp at some point. Good you are out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 02:05 PM
3

Thanks… she keeps insisting I file and I am trying to see her angle besides telling the kids I am the one that wants out
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 01:59 AM
3

Bracing for world war 3… thanks
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 01:59 AM
1

Look, you were inexperienced and she takes it as if you are not desirable to other women. By extension, you are not desirable to her. Stop regurgitating RP buzzwords and just get out. Date around knowing that your belief system (family, honor, provision etc) is outdated for todays world. I am in the early stages of divorce with two kids. I know it won’t be easy but almost all necessary decisions are hard. Being a MD, she may clean you out. That’s just what it will have to take…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 12:18 AM
1

Same here. On Oct 19 and the weekend before, she got to step 4. I found a blog that summarized all 7. Yeah, I got this from CGA. Had to pull over to listen to it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 11:55 PM
4

Dead while drawing breath…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 11:50 PM
9

You just got used as an emotional tampon. Suspect she hooked up with someone and felt guilty. Now the guilt is gone, she is back to being herself. Lawyer up and gtfo.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 06:24 PM
1

Yes indeed! He may revolt!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 01:57 PM
2

Much obliged, lads.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 01:56 PM
6

Indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 01:47 AM
4

I feel sorry for the lad. Ffs, it is a ride with a neighbor.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 01:46 AM
22

If you want to accomplish anything, I mean any flipping thing, be single. Women are dream killers.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/21 11:40 PM
6

I know.. it is pathetic. He knows I can’t stand her because I have heard how she bashes him with her friends… so inviting her would ruin the whole thing. No sir, I am going alone. The threat is that they think you will introduce the docile husband to other women…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/21 11:38 PM
5

You know the deal. You have been married before. Why would you even do it again? Unless you are a masochist, I suggest telling everyone to F off and mind their own business. That said, you casually date when/if you are up to it. But never cohabitate, or marry.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/21 07:11 PM
1

She is trying to frame her narrative. Build a sob story on how she was always afraid of you hurting her etc. I suggest having a separation agreement in writing agreeing you will leave the house. Maintain physical distance. Have your phone fully charged and be ready to record anything confrontational.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 06:27 PM
2

Make her one of many.. get your rotation going
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 12:16 AM
1

Put yourself and kid/s first. No woman is ever worth it. Leave. There is plenty of fish out there.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/21 05:51 PM
1

Thanks. I may have to file and subpoena all of her information… at this point, it may end up being a default divorce
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/21 12:30 AM
4

True. First, why do you think you want to be in a relationship? Thanks to feminism, you can order women off the online catalogues of bumble and tinder… I mean if sex is all you want. If you want companionship and support, western women are not it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/21 12:27 AM
1

Lol! How do you know?
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 07:30 PM
4

Mourn your loss. It is okay. Are you afraid of the unknown? Can you verbalize the reasons for the panic attacks? Remember, the moment you put your fears in words, you are on your way to resolving them. Nice touch on the tinder date. You will need an outlet so keep the same one or another around. Protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 02:51 AM
2

Drinking your sorrow away is not smart. Look at the long game. It is painful, I get it. I am getting ready to face the same scenario with my kids, whose mother is bpd (I suspect). If you have family, spend time with them. If you don’t drive out of town and go for a hike. Do call you kid for the holiday. That’s important. Next year will be easier.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 01:58 AM
11

Every woman has a sob story. Nothing you can do about it. A woman does not understand she is responsible for 50% of issues that happen. Your best revenge is to live well. Workout, get in a good shape, raise your income.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 06:49 PM
1

I live it every day. I can’t believe I have lasted ten years of this. My stbx got it from her toxic mother and sisters. All of whom are divorcees. Yes, anyone with a heart would feel for kids of bpd parents
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 04:26 AM
1

Tell me about it. Having children with one is like giving a 2 year old a loaded gun and tell them to not shoot you or themselves… she is not aware of the damage and trauma she causes the kids and I.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 03:14 AM
7

I am In the same predicament. She wants a divorce but refuses to file. She wants to blame me for it. I sacrificed a lot to maintain the marriage, which allowed her to work overtime and spend lavishly with her family- all of whom have broken marriages. It is a tough spot to be when you have kids you have tried to protect and nurture. If you can afford it, get a lawyer and start the process. Always charge your phone and be ready to record conversations/confrontations. She may accuse you of assault…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/21 02:04 PM
2

I am bracing for a lengthy battle. I suspect she has bpd… trauma from her upbringing… she knows she will be damaged financially even at 50/50 custody. She is stalling so she can move money around- I suspect
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/21 03:39 AM
1

Step -1 get rid of unnecessary items. Just get rid of them. Leave your bed, a dining table, your TV etc Step -2 start painting accent walls. Colors very different from what you have now. Home Depot can prepare primer and paint for you. Paint and paint. The smell of fresh paint exorcises all kinds of demons… Step-3 start buying things you need. One item at a time. It will work for you… trust me. It did for me
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 09:53 PM
3

I hear you. But time is a great healer. It will pass. If you don’t have a reason to stay where you are, move to a different place where you can rebuild.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 09:38 PM
3

Wow! My wife has been asking for a divorce for five years. She is supposedly educated but can’t understand how things work on the business end of divorce. This morning, I told her I want to stay in the family house but establish a date of legal separation. Her response: I don’t agree. We have been separated for a while apart from occasional sex… I am mulling over how to explain the requirement to establish a date of legal separation… also told her to petition but she doesn’t know how to! Being i…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 06:09 PM
3

Thanks. You don’t know your wife until you go through divorce. Bracing for her vengeance when she gets asked to disclose her spending supporting her family at the expense of ours. That will be community waste and CA law is pretty clear. I will be fine in the long run. So will the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 10:55 PM
2

Starting the divorce process now. I hate the feeling of vulnerability… she has already started dragging my name though the mud, kids struggling to cope…. Hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 01:22 PM
1

Feel for you bro. You don’t get her excited anymore. She wants a break means, she wants to end things. Get your finances, documents l, lease etc in order and just leave. Never look back. Please do read No More Mr Nice Guy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/21 07:07 AM
3

There is a lot of blame to go around. You are responsible for 50%. She is just as responsible. Don’t beat yourself up. Rebuild yourself. Your health is important. Then you can be a better dad to your son. He needs you. You need yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 10:10 PM
1

Consult with as many lawyers as possible. Take notes and evaluate your options. Sorry
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 10:07 PM
3

Feel your pain. Fear of the feelings you shared here has kept me in the marriage I am in. All I know is that time is a great healer. Remember, even when you were ‘in’ the marriage, your ex was long gone. Women don’t make divorce decisions lightly. They intuitively know they don’t want to be with you. Could be sexual, covetousness etc. Trust me she was long gone before you divorced. Please read the article, The Calculus of Divorce… it will put things into perspective. Update your beliefs about we…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 08:36 PM
2

Lawyer up. She will divorce rape you with alimony, child support etc.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/21 01:33 AM
2

Typical woman. Learn to ignore this. It will get you crazy. Focus on the kids. Establish good relationships with the school staff and teachers. Get information directly from them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/21 01:00 AM
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