Too broke to leave

half_brain_bill · 2022-09-13T00:28:32+00:00

Im right there with you. I had a massive stroke Four years ago and my wife destroyed my finances while I tried to recover. Then she finalized the divorce by herself in the exact fourth year anniversary of my stroke. I couldn’t move out on my own, I’m disabled. She had me living in the guest room for the past 3 years. My family helped me move into a memory care facility(literally half my brain is dead). Now I see my kids only when she feels like bringing us together. I guess I’m just trying to tell you that minimizing your overhead should be your priority. Then you can use your income on things that matter like your kids and your lawyer.

xadmin1 · 2022-09-13T01:15:00+00:00

Hard to relate how couples who make 150k each are too broke

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2022-09-13T00:04:36+00:00

Do what you have to do to get your freedom. Downsize your life and start over. Like the song says, we live our lives in chains and never even know we have the key. Yes, your standard of living will go down, but children aren't dumb. They will come to realize their parents can't stand each other and will not know what a good relationship looks like. That will mess them up more than not being able to attend private school and live in a big house. Show them how life should be lived.

david10277 · 2022-09-13T03:22:05+00:00

150k each...?? WTF and your complaining 🤣

Means you are both equal

Means No offset required on spousal or child support,

Means you do 50/50 on everything and move on.

Some guys are paying 4k per month on support becuase they make way more money.

You should count your blessings my friend.

Steps

Sell the house..

Split custody

Split assets

Kids in public school

It suxs because your still staying in something that's provides no benefit. .

Move on

pk2at · 2022-09-13T02:21:02+00:00

What! sell your house, get kids into public school and separate

LonelyNC123 · 2022-09-13T13:21:32+00:00

Friend - I am old (57). Don't be me. Don't waste most of your life in a loveless relationship. I wanted to leave ages ago but I realized I could never afford two households and my daughter's college. I stayed mainly so I could afford her college!

Job stress is killing me WAY faster than Father Time. I need to retire so bad. This year two (2) divorce attorneys told me I can never retire if I leave now. Incidentally - my spouse made ZERO effort to pay for college or our combined retirement. ZERO effort! Zip, none, nada!

My advice - ditch the Private Schools (they ain't worth it). Unload the house.

No material thing is worth wasting the only life you will ever get (like I have wasted mine).

altern8_me · 2022-09-13T14:23:54+00:00

I felt the same way a year ago. I was the sole income (85K) with a SAHM to 4 kids, 2 of them starting college. Broke as hell and facing the impossible, but the constant fighting for months at a time while sleeping on the couch and being miserable eventually gave me the push to get out because I felt like I would actually die if I remained in the situation any longer.

rickyspanish12345 · 2022-09-13T23:11:02+00:00

Just go. Fuck the money. Money comes and goes anyway. I’d rather be broke as shit than be living like prisoner. Find your balls man. Leave.

EternalFeather5 · 2022-09-13T00:16:12+00:00

Honestly it's best to get a small apartment for now until you get yourself back on your feet, so as long as you have a roof over your head, you'll be fine!

AirSailer · 2022-09-13T16:12:28+00:00

Dude, you can leave, you're just scared. File and ask for 50/50 no alimony or CS, sell the house and move into a 2-3br apartment, you'll be living a great life at that point.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-09-13T09:17:47+00:00

You need a budget.

Private school for kiddos is the first thing to go.

tyyyy110 · 2022-09-13T15:14:19+00:00

Ha, I left when I was barely making 40k. She at the time was making 20k (at best). Mate it doesn't matter what your finances look like. When it's time to go...you heed the calling to go. Lawyer up soon.

Fwiw: I'm better off financially now than I've ever been in my life since I left the pos ex. Ijs.

JonathanApple · 2022-09-17T17:23:59+00:00

Was there, just leave, lose/lose situation but hey maybe you will get laid and find a woman who isn't using you for resources. My ex had zero interest in being a traditional wife but oh Nelly was I supposed to be a traditional man. Sucks man, sorry.

Character_Hippo90 · 2022-09-13T02:46:58+00:00

I think you’ve just got accustomed to a certain lifestyle and are afraid to face financial adjustments. Fear has kept many harnessed to unhappiness for years. It’s your decision, but it’s sensible to seek a divorce and gain some peace, than suffer because you’re scared to lose a few dollars.

sicrm · 2022-09-13T01:57:37+00:00

staying won’t make it any cheaper down the road. plus she could file and then you’re scrambling to find a half decent lawyer and a place to stay.

start meeting with lawyers and work on your exit plan. you don’t have to right away but you need to be prepared.

ramboton · 2022-09-13T03:49:48+00:00

I am in a similar situation except I am planning ahead, I got a debt consolidation loan and in 18 months all credit cards will be paid off, as well as my car, the kids braces etc, hopefully enough free flow to cover alimony. Luckily we do not hate each other we have just grown apart over the years, sex is monthly and not that great and she has always had temper control issues, I am just not in love anymore and do not want this to be the person I spend the last 1/3 of my life with. So for now, dealing with it like I have for the last 20 years, and paying off the bills so I can make my break in a year and a half. I also have a travel trailer if it comes down to that.

yeldellmedia · 2022-09-13T13:42:15+00:00

Two 6 figure salaries are honestly not that much once you factor in a lifestyle of private school(s) and a hefty mortgage… people think 100-150k is alot but its only alot if you have a low debt load and meager expenses… if you had a 40k per year lifestyle and made 150k then youre on easy street.. but once u factor in children, mortage and, car and private school, youre broke. I understand completely

duhhhh · 2022-09-13T12:35:45+00:00

If the wife makes a little more, you won't owe child support and alimony. Your situation is far far more affordable than a single $150k earner family. Sell the house, move to a cheaper suburb, have a crap commute, put the kids in public school, and survive just fine.

pharmd718 · 2022-09-13T22:01:31+00:00

There is a story around somewhat here about a married guy who was diagnosed with cancer. Needed extensive therapy and cancer was advanced. Wife left. He recovered a year later and got his life back. Wife got into a car accident. She’s crippled.

Title	Too broke to leave
Author	dadmacintosh
Upvotes	31
Comments	68
Date	September 12, 2022 11:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xcrl3v/too_broke_to_leave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/too-broke-to-leave.1131240 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131240

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