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eru378 Archive

View 1 posts and 237 comments by eru378 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
272

MOOD FOR LIFEeru378/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:38 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
30

"an older guy [...] who could impart so much knowledge on me" I find this sad. Many young women seem to have very low confidence in their late teens and early twenties and think they will benefit from relationships with older men (even platonic ones) who they think they need to learn from or be guided by. It's so important to find your own way in life in those years. The learning and growing you do on your own is what shapes you into a functional adult. It's good to accept wisdom and advice from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 01:15 AM
65

To paraphrase a timeless tweet, "Does your dad have his ex girlfriend as his best friend? ok then"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:30 AM
68

That conference looks grim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:17 PM
36

Only a man could write a scenario where a woman thinks anything other than "Is this man mentally sound?" or "Get far away from me" in response to JG's character here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:15 PM
32

Wife and children are just props in this narcissist's life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 01:26 AM
10

Feelings of embarrassment thrive when we hide them away and let them fester in the dark. I've made some very stupid dating choices in the past. I have had a lot of success working through my shame over that by thinking over those choices and examining why I made them, and making the effort to get into a better mental place and to make choices that I am proud of and that reflect my best self. I talk through these things with friends and family and that helps a lot, too. I don't dwell on the past …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 02:04 AM
68

"(Full disclosure: Earlier this year, the FDS Twitter account called me “an architect of everything wrong with ‘Sex PoZZy’ Feminism” in response to coverage of my book.)" I see
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 01:49 AM
31

I hear you and I truly empathise. I am quietly devastated that I've never had a man ask me out to dinner. It really hurts. Boyfriends in the past have given me all kinds of cheap and low-effort treatment and I thought that a man asking me out on a proper, traditional date was just a fantasy that I shouldn't even hope for because things aren't like that anymore. Nope, most guys just suck and want a relationship on the lowest-effort terms possible. Life is pretty good overall, I have great family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:20 AM
15

This is brilliant. I think we all know, deep down, that these behaviours are what a good-quality, worthwhile man will do when he's serious about a woman. I've rarely had a boyfriend treat me in these ways (and when they did it was only in a superficial, piecemeal sense) and I knew it. I absolutely knew in my heart that these men were not serious about having an adult relationship with me and probably were not even emotionally capable of doing so. They enjoyed taking what they could from me - wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:49 AM
4

So many men think like this. Completely degenerate. They have no interest in real human connection at all. To them the other half of the human species is simply a collection of pornified objects laid out at a sexual buffet. And people are shocked and appalled that FDS, which advocates for women to vet ruthlessly to weed out these dead-inside losers, is so popular.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:55 AM
28

Look up brothel reviews sites for your area. Men just like these are in your town. Common rhetoric from the sex-positive movement is that prostitution and pornography is "empowering" - but how much can it be worth for a woman to personally, internally feel empowered when this is how the average john feels about her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 01:27 AM
9

Love this answer. Real-world in-person actions and connections are what truly counts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:21 AM
13

Any man who doesn't immediately feel emasculated by this shit is bad news. I'm horrified that it's apparently okay nowadays for people to opt out of being functional adults with zero shame felt by them or the people who enable them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:17 AM
3

When all you have is a hammer (or a misogynistic worldview in which having sex is only ever a matter of conquest and not a shared experience that occurs in a loving and respectful romantic relationship), everything looks like a nail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:29 AM
6

This reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Milhouse's dad gets a divorce. Kirk: "I sleep in a racing car! Do you?" Homer: "I sleep in a big bed with my wife." Kirk: "Oh... yeah..."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:47 AM
30

You need to have confidence in yourself and the way you live your life. Drop the mindset that you need to explain yourself to other people; it can be hard to deprogramme yourself from this, but it's very important that you do. Your choices are not something weird or shameful that you need to cover for or make excuses for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:00 AM
17

I've had boyfriends do this. They'd spend a lot of money on outings with their male friends and with their family, but I wasn't worth a nice dinner out or some moderately costly activities on a day trip or weekend away. And these were relationships in which we each paid separately for everything! They would not have been paying for both of us, just themselves - and it still wasn't worth it. Insane. How much louder can a guy tell you you're not worth shit to him? This dynamic of the girlfriend be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 11:51 PM
11

If a man feels unable to start off a potential romantic connection with a focused, sustained conversation it does not bode well for the future. Sitting down in a restaurant and having a discussion with another person is a normal social event and a guy who is too anxious/shy/lazy/etc to do this, and who doesn't want to step up and work through his social issues to get to know a woman, is probably not suitable to be dating. Ten years down the track, with marriage and kids and a mortgage and two ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 08:48 AM
16

In this situation I think it's useful to turn it back on your conversation partner and ask them to explain why they think having sexual intercourse is comparable to operating a cash register, or building a house, or working in an office. It can also be good to expand the conversation out to consider why society takes a dim view of people exchanging use of their body in intimate and medical ways for money - why is the organ trade illegal? Why are there significant ethical discussions around surro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:35 AM
20

Comment straight from a pornsick mind. According to this guy's porn-induced worldview every woman is really a manic horny slut from a young age, engaging in all sorts of wild, deviant sexual behaviour even if they seem "prudish" or "innocent", and gatekeeping their sexuality from the masses of men who "deserve" access to it simply by existing. They tell on themselves loud and clear with these sorts of comments and fantasies about women, especially young women/girls, masturbating and/or engaging …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:21 AM
2

Absolutely! No need to be open to chatting at every opportunity. I think the key is to understand whether the aversion to talking to someone in a given moment is due to genuinely not wanting to, or being scared to due to insecurity or anxiety or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:44 PM
11

Great post with excellent advice, and I really enjoyed u/theterminatress’ equally useful post. LOVE the open and proactive mindset underpinning both. It's reminded me that I should stop putting out the do-not-approach vibes I often have going when I'm out at the gym, coffee shops, and other places where I am a bit of a regular and would be open to meeting a man. I realise that those vibes are a result of me being quite stressed out and insecure a lot of the time, and that's not something one can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:00 AM
6

Why is your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend involved enough in his life and your life that a situation would arise where it's her word against yours about an "incident"? I'm sure you've read that FDS takes a dim view of exes staying in the picture. It's a red flag that he'd believe her over you, but her being in your lives is the red flag that enables this. (Also, I understand not wanting to give detail but it's hard to give advice when we don't have the full situation. Things certainly sound odd.) In…
/r/askFDS28/06/21 09:23 AM
107

Agreed - this doesn't sound like a shy guy, it sounds like a leech who thrives on female attention that comes at no cost to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:24 AM
50

Your comment 100% captures the essence of this experience. Yet another nerdy girl here who completely connects with what you're saying. I used to chase shy guys, ask men out who were so clearly not interested, beg for a tiny bit of affection from then-boyfriends, and simply never ever feel worthy/hot/smart/funny enough. I can see it now as part of that Hollywood/reddit/nerdy cultural space where the shy guy and beautiful dreamgirl trope is so prevalent. That trope sets men up with a bunch of stu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:21 AM
71

You feeling uncomfortable with it is reason enough to cut things off. A vitally important thing that FDS teaches is to listen to your first instinct and take it seriously. Women are socialised into giving everyone and anyone the benefit of the doubt and this often comes at the expense of us doing what makes us feel comfortable, safe, and happy. You KNOW this situation is off. Be confident in your feelings. A man who is dating seriously with the intention of finding a long-term relationship and e…
/r/askFDS24/06/21 07:45 AM
14

Great post. I am always sad and frustrated to see the self-imposed helplessness of many women when it comes to "men's work". So many of those tasks are easy to learn and even fun to do, and there are a lot of resources out there to help - youtube, websites, helpful employees in hardware stores. You can save so much time and money by learning how to do jobs and maintenance on your house, garden, car, bike, etc yourself. Even if time/money are not concerns for you, it's good in itself to not feel …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:23 AM
63

Remember: if he earns more than you and you split living costs 50/50, you are subsidising his lifestyle. You are enabling him to save/spend more of his own income than if he was pulling his financial weight proportionally. More than that, you are hamstringing your own ability to build financial security.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:06 AM
36

The number of times in my younger years that I would desperately wait for a reply and constantly check my phone and yearn for just a crumb of attention... Sad. This is such a great post and at its core is solid self-respect. It's so easy to let your standards slip and to allow yourself to latch onto low-interest behaviour from a man when you're longing to find someone, but connections formed when you're not at your very best are not going to be good, loving, healthy ones. Excellent advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:31 AM
58

I love this post. Congratulations. It sounds like you're in a great place emotionally, and fully in control of your life and your mental space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:20 PM
11

The correct comparison is not oil field worker men to sex worker women, it is sex worker men to sex worker women. Men can be sex workers too, and they overwhelmingly choose not to. Why is that? The answers to this argument are found in the answers to that question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:10 PM
291

The attitude that "feminism is about a woman's right to choose" forecloses any possibility of discussion, debate, or questioning and absolutely encourages the absence of critical engagement. It's a great rhetorical move, really - set up the idea that feminism is anything a woman chooses to do or be or say, continuously expand the bounds of what can be plausibly labelled "feminist", push back on anyone who tries to draw a line at any point by calling them exclusionary or bigoted or illiberal or s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:35 AM
28

I was not ready for this show AT ALL. Tore my heart out completely. Ri Jeong-hyeok is a god-tier HVM. Right from the start, too, buying Se-Ri the cosmetics and underwear at the market...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:46 AM
8

Finally, some good fucking radical feminism 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 05:09 AM
167

A good reminder that gleeful misogyny is a core element of being a Cool Girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:59 AM
81

As a wise woman once said, most men are just some guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:47 PM
4

This is the best advice here. Online cannot help you, OP. Please log off and go and live meaningfully in the world. You may not like this advice, but as someone older who's been where you are, I implore you to take it. I remembered that you made a similar post a little while ago, and I commented something similar then that I stand by - you need to get off reddit. It is hindering you greatly.
/r/askFDS15/05/21 02:02 PM
5

I want to date a man who goes to the gym and specifically trains hard and primarily for strength: focus on powerlifting/strongman/Olympic weightlifting with serious goals and dedication keeps body fat down but not obsessed with aesthetics; strength training plus decently healthy diet (must be vegan) will produce a good physique trains 3-5 days per week a Big Boy, taller than me and physically imposing As a woman training seriously for strength, I'm not keen to date a man who doesn't share that i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:34 AM
6

I agree with this. Depends on context of course, but it's completely normal to give open, flirty signs to a man you're interested in and then see what he does. Respectful men will be on the lookout for those signs and would be unlikely to make a totally cold approach. I'm happy to make some eye contact and make myself easy to talk to, though I won't make the actual move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:03 PM
17

The last picture made my blood run cold. Just could not believe what I was reading. This shit terrifies me, and it's so common and so normalised. This is why we must all be deeply cautious about marriage and having children or just outright reject it - this is what a man who will profess to love his wife is capable of. Also, these godawful men write these huge confessional posts showcasing their shitty behaviour and probably think they're doing something good, but their narcissism has only inten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:05 PM
122

"No drama" = I will do whatever I want and do not need to take you into consideration at all, and you will not raise any concerns, make any criticisms, or comment in any other way on my behaviour
/r/askFDS10/05/21 07:58 AM
3

I remind myself that I have always been my own shield and my own sword. I remind myself that very few men have ever truly helped or protected me in my entire life. The men who have were not any of my now ex romantic partners. I do a lot of reading and research to handle any problems that come up in my life. I ask for help when needed, I'm not arrogant or closed off, but I do cultivate independence and learn useful skills.
/r/askFDS06/05/21 08:49 AM
3

Oh yes. While I don't think OLD is automatically bad, that plus everything else in the post indicates that OP is not yet equipped to be giving advice on FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:24 AM
88

He showed a total lack of respect and regard for you by fucking someone else while you were dating. Why would you want a friend who doesn't respect you? ~ Nice update, OP 😊
/r/askFDS06/05/21 12:43 AM
9

I'm concerned to see a post on here offering advice to others when so many of the decisions and ideas described do not follow FDS guidelines. The handbook is required reading and contains a wealth of information that is there to help protect us against these sorts of situations. OP, the situation was shitty and I'm very sorry it went that way. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm sure many people can learn from your post. Please read the FDS handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:52 PM
17

"Not only is this rape it is also the sickest most unnatural form!" "raping a man is worse than raping a woman from a psychological point of view, simply because women are used to having sex and getting the stick unlike men" "Men raping women is not as bad as men raping men. At least for women, both private parts align. [...] if you're a raped man, then every time you take a crap, you have to think about a penis in" These comments stood out to me. It's very clear that many men think a man being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:31 PM
7

This sucks and you did nothing wrong. Good on you for holding strong and repeating the question. In a comp sci class it's totally normal and good to be thinking about things like the significance of capitalised letters. That sort of detail can and does often matter! If you feel comfortable, you could send a short email to the head of the department/school explaining what happened - any decent university staff member will be concerned about this, and especially with the gendered angle here. Stude…
/r/askFDS03/05/21 01:15 AM
9

This is the thesis advanced by Marxist feminist Silvia Federici in her book Witches, Witch-Hunting, and Women, especially in the chapter "On the meaning of gossip". Here is an excerpt: How the Demonization of “Gossip” Is Used to Break Women’s Solidarity. And an article that ties this history to modern ideas of solidarity: Gossip Girls. Also see Federici's earlier book Caliban and the Witch. It's cool to see these ideas getting traction on social media. I think it's important and useful to read t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:24 PM
5

From the Handbook: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fbw83o/how_to_let_a_man_know_if_they_date_he_suggests_is/ The post and comments have a range of good suggestions. There seems to be two main ideas regarding this issue. One is that a suggestion of a low-effort date is enough to reject a man straight away. The other is that showing disapproval at a low-effort date offer and encouraging a better suggestion is ok. I think the choice here is up to the individual - use your int…
/r/askFDS02/05/21 09:49 AM
50

"Window shopping", perfect term for it. They fucking love the fantasy of a new and more exciting toy/woman and get to explore it with no consequences in these encounters. I strongly believe in never aiding men in this way - I am always on guard against allowing myself to be a man's temporary entertainment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:41 AM
11

I find male urination habits and infrastructure to be unhygienic and borderline offensive. Many men do not wash their hands before or after directly handling their genitals when urinating. Using a urinal means urinating in an open space where spray droplets can mist into the air and land on people's bodies, clothes, shoes, etc. Wee drops are often left on the penis after urinating and end up leaking onto men's underwear (whom amongst us hasn't gone to give a bj and smelled/tasted wee... fucking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:19 AM
168

Great post, great analysis. Common thinking seems to be that men should pay for dates because women spend more on their appearance, but I think that's a red herring. The importance of men paying for dates lies much more in what that behaviour signals. Generosity is an extremely important trait that is (often) signalled by a man enthusiastically planning a date and happily spending money to have a good time with the woman he's taking out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:07 PM
17

I think the mods of FDS have done a great job of balancing the growth and accessibility of the sub with maintaining quality and focus in the sub's messaging. Managing an online space usually involves some tension between lowest common denominator content and content that meets certain standards and sits within a defined scope, and it's been nice to see that handled so well through the sub's existence. I will always support more quality control and more stringent requirements for standalone posts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 08:54 PM
17

Pure misogyny. A truly incredible attitude to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:49 PM
59

YES. FDS principles are for every woman. It does not matter how we look or what our interests are. Self-respect and healthy relationships are for everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:46 AM
5

I used to worry like this, and one key thing that helped was to take a big step back from social media. Reduced my friends list, deleted a lot of posts and photos, limited my usage, posted much less. I never really enjoyed it and getting rid of its oversized presence in my life was wonderful. Once the social media brain fog lifted, I worried so much less about the sorts of things you're describing. Highly recommend creating and nourishing a life away from Online. Your post makes me think you are…
/r/askFDS26/04/21 08:44 AM
2

Propriety matters, appearances matter. Keep in mind that a high quality man will be vetting you as much as you are/should be vetting him. The only way to know his feelings on the matter is to just bring it up, but I will assume he won't be ok with it. With that in mind: it's early days, you barely know each other, and he possibly just isn't going to be interested in making an exception for your particular reasons for being friends with your ex partner when there are other women out there who won…
/r/askFDS26/04/21 08:22 AM
6

❤️ Thanks for this excellent post, such an important topic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:15 AM
37

Here's something fucked up: for most of my life I've felt too undeserving and shameful to masturbate to the thought of sex with a handsome man I'm physically attracted to. I sometimes felt deviant for even thinking about it, and actually enjoying the idea enough to masturbate was out of the question. Meanwhile I've had multiple boyfriends who I did not find terribly attractive, and the sex never got better than mediocre for me while they thought it was amazing. It's just insane to me that men ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:51 PM
6

Debates about femininity aside, a life fuelled by ressentiment is a desperately sad thing. I hope she and the other women in this subculture find another path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:09 AM
6

Offering up his self-professed mediocrity as a gift and hoping she'll accept it even though he knows he's sub-par tells us exactly how he really feels about his wife. You would never offer scraps to someone you truly loved and respected. This man has no pride in himself and wants to drag his wife down to make him feel good about his failings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:21 PM
98

"pitch in if you can!" 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:25 PM
7

Human beings are not cars or appliances and we should not relate to each other as such. We do not need to test drive prospective partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 08:33 PM
6

I have seen exactly this in a Facebook group. Maybe even the same one. Once I realised that was the rule I had to leave - it was a fun space but that rule disturbed me. There's this pervasive attitude in many online spaces of "no judgement, no criticism" - people do not want to hear anything that might make them have to re-evaluate their behaviour and lives. Everyone's got some special bloody exception under which common sense doesn't apply to them. It's so dangerous to live this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 11:29 PM
3

This is excellent advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:35 AM
5

Ooh I will give it some thought! And try to find time...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:02 PM
4

Absolutely, I'm fortunate to know some truly wonderful men in academia who are brilliant friends and mentors to me and many other women. Plenty of huge egos out there, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:00 PM
89

I'm sure the women here in academia have experienced this one: men academics and postgrad students who love to talk AT their women colleagues, and only WITH them to the extent that they just admiringly agree with everything the man says. They really get off on having an educated woman, their intellectual equal, as their silent audience. It's sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:30 AM
1

I think you should take a step away from online communities and social media for a while and put serious energy into being out in the real world. FDS and FLUS are supposed to be helpful and supportive communities, and they clearly have been for you, but they're also obviously the source of a lot of anxiety and pain for you and that's not good. The "level up" talk in FDS and FLUS makes me a bit weary and I don't think it's necessarily a useful approach. I've been where you are emotionally, and on…
/r/askFDS08/04/21 11:03 AM
5

Love these updates. Good stuff. I encourage you to revisit the handbook and stay strong - no sex for minimum 3 months, no drinking on dates. Love and respect yourself and stick to your standards. Don't think of it as "high maintenance" - you are a strong woman who knows her worth and who knows her boundaries and is enforcing them.
/r/askFDS08/04/21 10:21 AM
2

Haha likewise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 06:37 AM
2

I didn't catch the comment you're replying to, but absolutely, none of this is about getting free meals. The food itself is a MacGuffin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 05:45 AM
12

Big thighs Big traps Big nose 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:04 AM
102

Brothel reviews are some of the most disturbing, raw documents of misogyny you'll ever read. There's a particular popular website for reviews in my country and a few years ago I spent a memorable few nights reading page after page. The women are just things, just fuck dolls and semen receptacles to those men. I went from no strong feelings about prostitution to anti, fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:02 PM
16

Aim to reach that stoic and peaceful place where you don't need to get the final word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:05 AM
182

A quality man would not expect or want a woman to play the paying-the-bill game with him. He would take care of it discreetly so a moment of ambiguity over bill paying would never come up at all. This expectation for the woman to offer to pay is based in an interesting mix of misogyny and ego. This man knows what his gender role properly entails here but he wants to make the woman suffer before he performs it. He wants his date to show herself to be different from all the entitled whores out the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:55 AM
18

I've almost stopped beating myself up about my experience with this: my close friend, we were friends for years, I was practically in love with him, told him so much about me, the ways I'd been hurt, things I'd never told anyone else. I had no idea I could have a bond like this with anyone, let alone a man - and then we had sex, he got extremely weird afterwards, and I had to cut him out of my life not long after when it became apparent that he felt I was good enough to fuck but not to date. Bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:45 PM
17

Same. I can even think of some gay friends who don't really have objectively attractive faces but their grooming and fitness add such major points to their appearance that they just radiate handsome energy. The work truly pays off. Many straight men simply choose to be unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:26 PM
47

The way Beck says "you won't even let me NYUT!?" sends me every time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 08:19 AM
14

Yes it's pretty telling that he left those details out. Totally changes the story. She was NOT feeling it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:08 PM
6

This is a perfect situation to apply the "If he wanted to, he would" principle. Three weeks is a long time in online dating world, and these guys very clearly aren't motivated enough to actually ask you out. Time to move on.
/r/askFDS30/03/21 02:05 PM
25

Stay the same and even slow down a bit. Once I can feel that the spark is lit, I don't need faster and faster motions to get to orgasm, just regular movement and consistent pressure. Ramping it up ruins it! I suspect most men have never bothered to consider that a woman's orgasm may be different to his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:40 AM
32

Going to therapy is a huge wank for a certain type of person. It just ends up fueling their narcissistic self-absorption and feeding their beliefs about how special and uniquely messed up they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:18 PM
27

Such an insightful comment. The combination of resentment, contempt, suspicion, and petulance in these stories is palpable. It's said a lot here and never gets old - many men cannot and will not see women as people. To them we are sexually interesting/willing/available or we are nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:10 AM
9

Women who are attracted to low-status, helpless behaviour in a romantic partner and feel proud and pleased when enabling it need serious therapy, stat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:57 PM
37

What tf is up with them not wanting to go on dates?? I've been through that too, with multiple boyfriends. Just could not comprehend why those guys didn't want to do anything special with me, create nice memories, put in effort, get dressed up, etc. I have this specific, sad memory of asking my then boyfriend if we could please do something nice, go out for dessert, it's Saturday night and I want to do something lovely with you - but he was too tired and busy with computer games. That shit hurts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:21 AM
6

If 👏 he 👏 wanted 👏 to 👏 he 👏 would 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:41 AM
3

I'm very sorry you're in this shitty situation, OP, but your read on it isn't good. This work colleague and his girlfriend are living in your head rent-free. This man has entranced you to the point that you're here writing this long post about his ramblings, ostensibly to warn other women, instead of recognising an extremely unprofessional situation for what it is and cutting it off before it went any further. You're even describing his girlfriend as a pick-me and implying that he'd prefer you o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:36 AM
4

So many men take no pride in being men nowadays. A good man would not see proposing to the woman he loves as a chore, as a loss to him, as a one-sided event, as a transaction. As something that needs to be repaid, or as an event where he "misses out" on the good part and needs to have it made up to him. If a guy really thinks he's missing out by not being the one receiving a big marriage proposal, he's beyond help. This kind of narcissism is so prevalent among young men these days. Sad and distu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:00 AM
61

Go off. This is the definition of "go off". The service you do for women every day on this sub is incredibly valuable and precious. We bow down. FDS is home to a hugely diverse group of women and I know there are so many of us here who went through liberal feminist phases - we've been in the thick of it and we know exactly what it's all about. We've grown up in an era when it was presumed that the feminist sex wars were won: won by liberals. Activism and discussion in the vast majority of femini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:34 PM
19

That show was insane, and extremely fun to watch with FDS principles in mind. The sheer range of behaviour on display from excellent to horrible is great for analysis - the good conduct of some people contrasts sharply with the shit from various others (men and women!) and you can really see why certain things are red flags and others are green. If anyone's never seen it and isn't much into reality shows I really recommend giving it a try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:20 AM
3

That's wonderful, I'm happy for you!
/r/askFDS01/09/20 10:53 PM
3

Good post. While I was never addicted to pornography, I have been through stages in life where I would masturbate to some frankly fucked up things, mostly in the form of comics, artwork, and erotic short stories, and I decided a while ago that I needed to stop. This was mainly a matter of willpower and change of mindset. I made myself see that I CHOSE to search for and use these materials, it wasn't something that just happened, and I could not and should not blame horny brain for it. I realised…
/r/askFDS01/09/20 10:33 AM
6

I say this with love: it sounds like this man's attention and presence in your life, and the excitement (drama) it created, fed and flattered your ego and you're now upset because that source of validation is gone. Don't discount the importance of that dopamine rush you mention briefly - the effect another person can have on us is immense. You seem quite clear on why this man is an unsuitable partner for you, so keep that in mind as you feel your feelings and move towards accepting that your con…
/r/askFDS30/08/20 11:33 AM
20

That's it. I used to be such a doormat on this topic, feeling shitty about then-boyfriend's close female friends and also feeling like it was just something I had to suffer in silence over and not a legitimate reason to just end the relationship. At one point it hit me: it is completely inconceivable that my father would have close women friends who he hung out with without my mother. So fucking weird to even think about. Then I asked myself, why do I think men my age are exempt from this? Why d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:04 AM
27

Clear evidence that we do in fact inhabit clown world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:17 PM
12

Highly selfish request and then a manipulative response when you rightly raised serious concerns. Run away. Even in normal non-covid circumstances, don't travel to a man. Even if he pays you're still putting in a huge physical and logistical effort - and all he has to do is shell out some $$ to get a woman delivering herself to him in his home city, on his turf. By going to him you give up power and security and familiarity and essentially entrust yourself to a stranger in a city you may not kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 01:29 PM
3

I hear you. For me there's something almost addictive about it. I'm honestly a big softy romantic type and it was hard to finally force myself to be real and honest and stop indulging in these fantasies, but it's the only way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:06 PM
30

💯 This is the cold hard truth and can't be repeated enough. Men make a clear effort if and when they really want to. Don't fall into the trap of driving yourself mad trying to guess a guy's feelings and parse his every word and action. Don't make up stories to convince yourself a man feels the way you want him to about you (been there...). Things won't be weird and tortured and ambiguous with the right man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:19 AM
3

If you don't know where to start with women, you're really putting the cart before the horse by worrying about chemistry. As with so many questions posted here, the answer is get off reddit and go out into the real world. Not everything in life comes with a manual - you need to learn to socialise by doing, just like everyone else does.
/r/askFDS12/07/20 06:00 AM
7

This is a weird question. Chemistry between two people is there or it isn't - it's not created. I think you don't quite know what chemistry is and probably haven't experienced it before. You'll understand when you do. Just go out and live life and be brave, and stop obsessing over unlocking some non-existent rules or codes or guidelines for interacting with women.
/r/askFDS10/07/20 12:12 PM
20

"exempli gratia" [JERK-OFF MOTION]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 10:54 PM
41

I worried about this back when I was getting a new bed a few years ago, and I eventually stopped and realised how weird and sad it was to be taking hypothetical men into account when making a big personal life decision. I think you should choose a bed size based on what will work best for you and your comfort and convenience in day-to-day life. Who knows if a man good enough to date seriously and eventually sleep with will come along in the near future? But you do know for sure that you will nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 09:13 AM
26

"just ask me" "I'm an open book" "i dunno what else tell me what you'd like to know" Fucking hate this line. You've given me zero incentive to ask anything, buddy! Some men really think simply putting their basic minimal-effort presence online is enough to warrant attention, while women are constantly presenting ourselves impeccably to the world in dating and elsewhere. Unbelievable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:18 AM
43

Very sweet. I'm so jaded that I can hardly imagine a man being this genuinely thoughtful and considerate, so these stories are really nice to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:09 AM
3

Others have given some amazing specific answers, so here's something a bit different. This post gets at something fundamental about male incompetence today: Real Men Want To Drink Guinness, But Don't Expect Them To Pay For It There's a lot there for men to think about. For me, as a woman, it laid bare something I'd implicitly known my whole life: I know that I cannot rely on the vast majority of men I meet to act like men, and this shapes my thinking and my behaviour in many areas of life. When …
/r/askFDS19/06/20 08:43 AM
5

Don't give him a chance just because he's a doctor. Do't let the job dazzle you. He's just a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 09:21 AM
11

God I relate to this so much. With one boyfriend I felt a terrible mix of anxiety and excitement when I was going to see him, constantly on edge when we were together, and sad and confused after spending time together. I remember wishing desperately that I would settle down eventually and things would become easy, but it didn't actually occur to me that maybe this was abnormal and that I needed to leave. (The guy had avoidant personality disorder which explains a lot...) The breakup was one of t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:47 AM
27

The shithead apple doesn't fall far from the shithead tree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:32 AM
2

This was the only right thing to do. Congrats on being strong and treating yourself with love and respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 11:59 PM
48

Sociopath shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 12:40 PM
6

The desire to send a letter like this always comes from narcissistic, self-obsessed motives. YOU want to give HER closure? Come on buddy. Learn the lessons and move on. I'm sure she's doing just fine without you.
/r/askFDS05/06/20 09:46 AM
7

This reminded me of a great Captain Awkward post: https://captainawkward.com/2020/02/24/1253-beloved-you-are-not-torn-you-are-in-denial-about-your-choices/ CA isn't totally FDS compatible but a lot of her advice is very good, especially on things like boundary setting, self-respect, and dealing with conflict in romantic and family relationships. She has no time for passive, dishonest men like this which I've always appreciated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:54 AM
3

Get a flattering haircut and maintain it Ask for advice from your barber about something that suits your face and lifestyle, and get haircuts regularly at the recommended time interval (depending on the style this could be anywhere between 2-8 weeks). I regularly see men with hairdos that look like a once-nice cut that's been left too long before another cut. Sloppy and childish. Not only does it look aesthetically bad, it's also a very obvious sign that a man doesn't keep a regular grooming sch…
/r/askFDS31/05/20 11:35 AM
15

I see posts and comments every so often here about "abundance mindset" and "scarcity mindset". Is there something somewhere in the handbook that suggests adopting these views? I googled the terms and they seem useful in a general sense, but I don't think this is a great way to think about men and relationships. It's best to use psychological tools like this in a loose-ish way: take what's useful for your life, but don't twist your life around to attempt to fit it into particular mental container…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:49 AM
1

comment history full of porn, incest, onlyfans, "legal teens", etc Lol
/r/askFDS26/05/20 08:58 AM
29

I honestly think it's a red flag for a man to have strong opinions on pubic hair styles at all. It smacks of an almost fetishistic interest. I think it's reasonable for both sexes to want things to be trimmed and neat for easy access, but if someone cares beyond that it's not great. I dislike all these strong and highly specific sexual preferences that are formed and carried around external to any actual connection to another human being and then imposed on a partner. As one of the top FDS posts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:01 AM
25

That's wonderful, good for you for being strong and assertive and looking after yourself. I completely relate to this, it's so easy to feel like this stuff is something small and silly but it's not at all. It matters. These stories are honestly inspirational for me - I'm not dating anyone right now and haven't for a while, but I think back to when I was younger and would let this shit slide and how much it hurt me, and I feel wonderful knowing that I'm now much more confident and also that other…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 10:01 AM
3

So this guy told you a list of his traits and values and then demonstrated that he does not actually possess any of them. Don't get angry or try to take him to task for anything, just observe how he's treating you and make smart choices. I don't understand the part about him getting what he wants. There's zero point in worrying about or trying to analyse whether he secretly wants to break up with you or whatever. Stick ONLY to facts in front of you. The fact is that his communication is rude, fl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:57 AM
4

It may have started as "not his fault", but it's been sixteen years - the failure to do anything about his circumstances in that time makes him low-value. Passive men who always have excuses are not high-value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:27 AM
18

Passion and chemistry is vital to me, but I remind myself regularly that it's easy to get addicted to it and that it can cloud my thinking. Sometimes I think we all want romance so much that we unwisely let ourselves get carried away. I don't think we need to choose to go with head or heart but there does need to be balance. With the right man I'm sure it will feel like a smart choice and a truly romantic match.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:00 AM
4

Totally agree. I simply don't want to be involved with a man who has close female friends, regardless of what the backstory or circumstances are. I've also had some bad experiences in the past that created trust issues - but beyond that, I've also come to realise I'm just not attracted to men who cultivate female friendships. A man can have a healthy respectful view of women without needing to be close buddies with them imo. I understand why people push back against ideas that men and women can'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:22 AM
55

muh PREFERENCES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:14 AM
38

There's an implicit idea in this post that leveling up in life and becoming a HVW will bring you a HVM - specifically, a man who will commit to you and lock you down in the way you want. That isn't the case. As so many FDS posts have outlined, men can and will treat any kind of woman in all sorts of hurtful, low-effort, disrespectful ways, no matter how beautiful or successful she is. You can't preempt it or somehow make yourself into someone who a man would simply never treat poorly. A man won'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:10 AM
5

My personal preference here is probably unpopular generally - perhaps too old-fashioned for a lot of people - but I would not date a man with close female friends and I would not find it appropriate for my boyfriend/husband to develop close female friendships. I think it’s important for a man to have women acquaintances he’s warm and friendly with, to have strong and respectful connections with female co-workers, and to have solid relationships with his mother, sisters, and other female family m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:00 PM
2

Sure. It isn't written to give women hope, but for a man who's ready to hear it this could potentially be the most hopeful and helpful diagnosis he could possibly recieve.
/r/askFDS12/05/20 12:21 PM
22

Stop eating junk food https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/02/hes_just_not_that_into_anyone.html
/r/askFDS10/05/20 09:07 AM
98

Men think this shit is "stoicism" and "the burden of being a man" when it's actually "being a huge baby"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:35 AM
56

Men are astoundingly arrogant and entitled. I should be used to it by now, but each new story like this I read shocks me anew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:20 AM
18

What a little bitch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 09:05 AM
5

Lmao I knew it would be this guy before I clicked, what a legend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 01:03 PM
6

I completely agree. I briefly downloaded tinder a while back and looking through it was a fascinating and sobering reminder that there are a lot of otherwise normal-seeming men men out there harbouring weird and stupid worldviews that I do not want or need to be at all involved in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:42 PM
7

A man doing shit tests is so pathetic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:24 PM
23

This is horrible and disturbing. I'm desperately sad for this girl. No matter what the sex-positive crowd might say about posting nudes and liberation, this is the reality - these are the not-unlikely consequences of putting nudes online. The rest of the world doesn't buy into stories about the "empowering" nature of exposing yourself publicly and they won't treat you like you've done something harmless and fun. I hope she has supportive people around her and can lie low and ride out the storm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 12:10 AM
14

YES. Incredibly important. It's easy to start excusing this type of behaviour because it feels like small stuff, but it's actually extremely disrespectful and shows you clearly that you're a low priority for this man. He's demonstrating both that he's not actually that interested in you and that he has no basic manners. One memorable occasion when I've been here: a man I was seeing asked me on a date, suggested a particular time that we agreed on, messaged me to push it later and later, we event…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 11:56 PM
24

Literally nothing about this situation sounds good. Please stop seeing this awful man. "I said he can stop calling me now", but you know you can cut off contact with him, right? You know this is a bad situation and you are clearly extremely unhappy, so stop this passive behaviour and just cut him off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 09:05 AM
19

I'm so glad you're out of there, sounds like a nightmare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 03:01 AM
3

You need to adjust your thinking and realise that this is a pick-me question and outlook. You're asking how to attract and impress men, and specifically low-value men who are interested in women in superficial ways. That's not a good mindset and you owe yourself better. I do empathise - I'm 29, young-looking, accomplished, etc and I see plenty of men my age either already in age-matched relationships or pursuing younger women, but I know that general male attention is of no value, that very few …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 09:28 AM
10

Instead of attempting to justify and rationalise your way into getting the answer you want, I suggest you think on the various answers you've received here and work on understanding this issue from other perspectives. Reality is that very few women out there will care about your very special reasons for staying friends with your ex. Choose to ignore or seek to understand as you wish.
/r/askFDS01/05/20 07:19 AM
3

Amen to this whole sub-thread. Plenty of men (and people in general) have weak characters and will persist in making excuses rather than putting actual effort into their lives and circumstances. It's easier to live passively and comfortably, telling yourself that everything happening to you is not your fault or responsibility, than to realise that life is just tough and put effort into making the best of what you're given. It's cliched as hell but that classic self-help type advice is true. For …
/r/askFDS01/05/20 02:19 AM
10

I would not date a man who is in touch with ex partners and I am not in touch with my ex partners. I have a lot going on in my life and I have limited time and energy to spend on people, so why would I spend any of it on someone who I had a failed relationship with? My relationship with that person has reached its terminal point - there's no need to keep the connection open. Even if we're on nice friendly terms, which I am with some exes, there's just no point for me in maintaining that open cha…
/r/askFDS30/04/20 07:52 AM
16

Thanks for this. I don't have time for online arguments so I generally avoid getting into these conversations, but I do feel uncomfortable about various comments I've seen here on this topic that do not seem in the spirit of FDS. There's nothing empowering about being a sugar baby or similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:31 AM
3

I don't think this is possible. A genuinely good man is good all the time. People are complicated and it's certainly true that some people exhibit better behaviour in some parts of their life, but good behaviour that's inconsistent and not universally applied does not ultimately come from a healthy place. A wealthy successful man who treats women poorly is not HV, a man who's good to his children but not to his wife is not HV, and so on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:54 AM
7

I'm always amazed to hear people - and it's usually men - say this. I'd be deeply ashamed if I looked back and thought I'd made no advances as a person in a 5 year period. Not that life needs to be a constant push for change, but someone being so casual and comfortable about stagnation at a young age is a bad sign. Either very dull or possessing zero introspective skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:01 AM
5

"Feminism" is a term that encompasses a lot of different and sometimes opposed beliefs. Look up Andrea Dworkin and Catharine Mackinnon. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminist_sex_wars It seems awfully convenient for men that a highly liberal and sexually permissive strand of feminism has become the dominant and most widely-accepted one.
/r/askFDS28/04/20 12:10 AM
7

Exactly! The ethical and moral case against pornography is not just about how it was made (and the notion of "ethically made" pornography is slippery, to say the least). Pornography has extreme negative effects on users who then go out and inflict their behaviour on women and society in general.
/r/askFDS27/04/20 04:14 AM
24

Yes, porn is always bad and there are many well-documented reasons why that other commenters have explained. I encourage you to consider this - what masturbating to pornography is doing to you psychologically. Watching pornography encourages you to become aroused by viewing, not participating. You are becoming turned on by intense visual stimulation found in watching other people doing things - other peoples' experiences and interactions, not your own, and strangers' pleasure, not your partner's…
/r/askFDS27/04/20 12:45 AM
52

Low-key psychopathic. Women are nothing but means to an end for a lot of men out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 02:44 AM
48

I might as well tell one of my cringier stories here, extremely relevant. I was 21 and dating a 28 year old man long-distance, and I was down visiting him for a weekend. I'd noticed a funny smell in his apartment but I struggled to figure out where it was located or what exactly it was. Eventually we were sitting watching a movie and I realised it was his couch that smelled, and the smell was strongest where he usually sat, and yes, you absolutely guessed it, the couch smelled of shit. He obviou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:33 AM
3

You should NOT feel like a fleshlight with your boyfriend! My gosh that's extremely sad to read. You already know this relationship is not right and that you deserve so much better. Please carefully read all the excellent advice you've received here and leave this selfish man. You need to treat yourself right and take this leap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:00 AM
14

Exactly. Men who are already unhappy go to PUA/manosphere/etc spaces seeking help and they learn behaviours that only make them mentally sicker. Objectifying, instrumentalising, and manipulating women. Shortcuts to temporary happiness with strong diminishing returns rather than the long process of learning how to love and cherish another person. Putting energy into building a new and fake personality with sociopathic traits, instead of the hard work of learning to know oneself and becoming a goo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 09:52 AM
309

These stories are unbelievably grim. Men do profound violence to women's souls and minds and bodies like it's nothing. I hope this woman wakes up and walks away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 01:09 AM
3

You need to use your own judgement. Imo it's less about finding some sort of hard and fast rules or timelines and more about developing good skills in analysing human behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 10:48 PM
8

It took me a little while to get on board with the idea that a man needs to pay on dates. It clicked for me when I thought about it in terms of signalling. A man planning out a date and treating me to dinner signals that he's interested in me enough to put effort and money into spending time with me. He's putting something on the line, he's taking a risk. I think this idea is useful whether or not you're looking for a husband/future father of your children - a man you're spending your time on sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:04 AM
5

Important post. A vital part of breaking out of our old ways and getting into a new, healthy mindset is the realisation that this obsessive analysing of events and people does not help you at all. Recognising and stopping these cycles of rationalising and telling ourselves fairytales and making excuses and joining the dots is so powerful and so freeing. It took me a long time and some extremely hurtful behaviour from a few men to realise this. I think of it as similar to Occam's Razor - the simp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 11:54 AM
42

Porn really has so many people fucked in the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:21 AM
3

Right, I'm surprised to see the suggestion that women who don't wear make-up are "masculine", especially as OP seems to identify as a radical feminist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 12:51 AM
8

To me this sub is about looking at human behaviour and women's best interests in terms of how men treat us as romantic partners, and bluntly assessing different dating practices with a view to to making sure we are being treated well. There are lots of discussions about appearance to be had that are relevant to dating, but that's not what I come to FDS for. (tbh if FDS was pushing any particular line about appearance I wouldn't be here.) I'm capable of taking what I find useful from the sub whil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 08:34 AM
19

Being into Jordan Peterson is a red flag imo. Peterson is a grade A grifter, charlatan, and deeply mediocre academic who became famous due to a bit of good timing in cultural currents. He's a dumb person's idea of a smart person and not someone to be taken seriously. Anyone who does has poor judgement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:48 AM
3

Totally agree, a few of these sorts of posts are instructive and interesting but I'm not here to see how idiotic men can be online. I know already. We all do. It's not exceptional to get a shitty message from a guy on OLD. The women here who get into conversations with these men and then take a screenshot of the exchange and post it here are imo wasting their time and letting dumbass guys soak up their energy and time. It might feel empowering but it's still a fundamentally pick-me action - why …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:07 PM
7

Yeah the attitude he's displaying towards his girlfriend here is pretty disturbing. I don't understand why the post has so many upvotes... this is not a situation any FDS-minded woman should be condoning.
/r/askFDS09/04/20 10:20 PM
37

If your girlfriend posted in FDS explaining this situation and asking for advice, I would recommend that she never combine finances and never move in with a man she's not married to. (& even in a marriage, never cede control of finances to her husband.) Your attitude towards your girlfriend is patronising. She's an adult woman and so it's disturbing that you describe her as "relatively financially illiterate" and that you imagine her deferring to you on money matters. This is how financial abuse…
/r/askFDS09/04/20 07:34 AM
2

I understand what you're saying and I agree, but the original post was about unattractive men and their opinions about women's beauty and that's what my comment is responding to, and now you've brought up beauty standards and bullying affecting young girls, which is a different though related thing. I agree that it's ridiculous for trash men to air their opinions about women's attractiveness, but one group of men is not solely responsible for making and enforcing the beauty standards we all deal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:21 AM
58

Incredible look into the male mind. His girlfriend lives with him rent-free, which he sees as generous but is actually potentially dangerous for her and controlling on his part. She needs to be independent for her own security and safety and not be his quasi kept woman. Yet, despite waiving her rent, he will not treat her when they go out - and it's clearly conspicuous because her friends notice and comment. The financial "generosity" he gives her through providing a free place to live is an arr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:08 AM
54

High-value women don't let low-value men have a say about them. Don't listen to them, don't even look their way. Women "allow" trashy men to have a say about them by listening to them and reacting and getting cranky. I understand what this post is getting at but this is ultimately a passive mindset that we need to break out of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:29 PM
3

I know the feeling, it's so difficult to switch it off. I find that getting absorbed in a good tv show, book, film, youtube channel, etc can really help to distract me from spiralling. Something kind of trashy so I'm focused on other people's drama and can slowly forget my own lol. It's really nice that he tried, for sure. Unfortunately life just doesn't always go the way we want - it's not unusual for people to go through periods where they are not suitable for dating because of other commitmen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 12:13 PM
7

You are definitely overanalysing!!!!! Wow. It's a tough situation, you're normal to feel sad and confused and upset and everything else, but it's over and there's nothing to be gained by thinking any further on this. Going over the "he said she said" of the situation and trying to rationalise it all will not accomplish anything. Sounds like you got very excited over this one guy - make sure you've got enough happening in your life that dating a man is not a huge, central part of it, and just get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:15 AM
40

My heart hurts when I read these stories. Horrible to see someone doubting herself, so desperate to hang on, hoping he'll change, so little self-respect. I hope she sees the light and puts herself first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 10:40 AM
8

You've had a ten year relationship and and eight year relationship, so you're probably around 35+. This post is pretty embarrassing for someone of your age. FDS hasn't been around for that long - if this sub really was the catalyst for you quitting pornography, that must be a pretty recent development for you. It's incredible that you got this far into life without realising what pornography "is actually doing to women". Combined with the level of narcissism and selfishness needed to conduct TWO…
/r/askFDS05/04/20 10:33 AM
7

Totally agree, it's a hobby like any other and can be enjoyed in normal healthy ways and also in trashy, low value ways. Actions of specific men might make sports watching a red flag for some women and that's fine, but I don't think it can reasonably be considered a generalised red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:23 AM
10

You are way too caught up with jargon. FDS labels and terminology are just tools to help you see the reality of your situation, not things that you need to twist your own experiences to fit into. It's totally understandable that you're upset - encountering these ideas for the first time can be mind-blowing and also deeply unsettling. You have started on a difficult path that will be deeply rewarding if you stay with it. The first thing to do is realise that the only reason to think over past exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:00 AM
21

Incredibly important post that everyone here should read and internalise. Assessing whether a man has "high value" traits is just a screening heuristic - it cannot tell you if he is high value to you. It's easy to become entranced by someone you really like but it's vital to stay cool and always be thinking about how you're being treated. Be vigilant! Solid self-esteem and confidence are key.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:16 AM
15

You initiated and made vague plans, he didn't commit, he left you hanging for FOUR HOURS, and he then cancelled. This is not how someone who's excited to see you and spend time with you would behave. There's a huge power imbalance here that's not in your favour. Sounds like you need to pull right back! Nitpicking over the apology is a red herring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:50 AM
49

I'm so glad to see this stupid "advice" called out. Not everything is a problem that can or should be solved by talking it out. Quite often it's a man showing a woman who he is and and the woman needing to make a smart choice about staying or going. This really opened my eyes when I was much younger. My then-boyfriend was a nice enough guy but also wasn't often physically affectionate outside sex, he never planned dates or any kind of nice outings for us, rarely spent his free time on me, genera…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 11:28 PM
10

Right, this part is pretty much textbook narcissism. He really likes educated women... as his audience. To show off for. This mindset can be cured but it's a long, hard road, OP.
/r/askFDS25/03/20 10:54 AM
1

Stick to basic communication about rental details. There's no need to talk about anything else. I get the impulse to give him a piece of your mind, we've all been there, but it's just a waste of your time and it's holding you back from moving on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:23 AM
14

You won't truly begin to move on until you're no longer sending messages to this guy. He's still in your head. Block permanently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 12:33 AM
43

It's just insane to me that this kind of extreme behaviour has become so normalised. I feel almost naive for wanting simple, romantic touches and gestures! There can be such an incredible spark from even innocent touches with someone you have a genuine connection with, building up to sex slowly and meaningfully. This drive towards more and more hardcore stuff, smashing our pleasure buttons constantly, can only go badly as it has done. Wonder what degeneracy will become fashionable next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 09:33 AM
8

It doesn't sound like your boyfriend treats you very nicely. It's not normal or good to have to worry about standing up for yourself against a partner - a good partner would treat you respectfully, would care about your feelings, and would be excited and interested to talk with you about things that interest you. You've spoken to him about this and he's kept on making comments that upset you, so you can see that he's ignoring your feelings and choosing to go on hurting you. I think you need to s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:32 PM
50

Yep. There are some good commenters on r/relationships but they're few and far between. What often obviously ends up happening is a bunch of teenage and early twenties boys commenting on situations they are completely ill-equipped to understand or offer advice on because they have reddit brain poisoning and zero relevant life experience. A lot of common advice is straight from the reddit hivemind, e.g. "just communicate" - logic bros assuming everyone is a rational being with good intentions and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:14 PM
13

Dated a guy with depression and avoidant personality disorder. It was absolutely hellish. He should not have been dating and I should have realised what was going on and left. Instead I spent almost a whole year twisting and contorting myself into what I thought this guy wanted and what I thought would make him comfortable and happy. Never again. A truly low point in my life.
/r/askFDS16/03/20 12:08 AM
12

For the other side of this, look on r/relationships or relationship_advice and you'll see posts from men who are contemplating a big move for their career and are asking for advice on how to handle things with their girlfriend/fiancee/wife who is unsure or doesn't want to move. (I doubt you'll see many posts from men asking "is it ever ok to move for a woman?", because they see themselves as the protagonist of their life and women as side characters...) So many just straight up do not care about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 03:15 AM
7

Totally agree, this line of thinking is a waste of time. It's just as much a myth that women tell ourselves as men tell us. I developed big crushes in the past and of course I hoped beyond hope that those guys liked me back and would make a move, and I'd think of plenty of reasons why he wasn't asking me out or showing much interest in me - too shy, thought I wasn't into him, embarrassed, anxious, couldn't because we knew each other through his work/my work. The reality is that he's just not kee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:48 AM
27

You need to stop thinking about this sort of situation as a man "picking another girl over you". That framing instantly encourages you to view dating as a competition with you and other women as competitors fighting over men and you failing to measure up when you lose. That is not the mindset that FDS encourages. A man will be interested or he won't - you trying to compete with other women to "win" a man is a waste of your time. You are the prize! Not every man will like you, obviously. That's j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 04:06 AM
13

Totally agree. The sub, like most communities, would rise in overall quality if low-effort posts like pictures and memes were curtailed or cut entirely. The memes are funny but they're low-quality content that appeals to a very wide audience and encourages participation that's too broad for the purpose of the sub. Not saying it needs to be as tightly run as a sub like Ask Historians, but to cultivate and maintain quality some more controls need to be in place. Of course community members need to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:23 AM
30

Exactly it. Men (and pick-mes) think they're being the rational ones by saying "it's the 21st century, anyone should ask anyone out, get with the times", but it's FDS-minded women who can see the actual signalling going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 10:22 AM
4

So this isn't a really big or egregious thing, but it definitely hurt. I had a male friend a few years ago, thought he was basically my ideal guy, we were very close friends, he had a girlfriend, I eventually moved to another city for study. He came to visit, he'd broken up with his girlfriend a few weeks prior, we had a really good time and (no fucking surprise) he kissed me and we had sex at his hotel room that night. Afterwards he started acting very weird, wouldn't even cuddle me, I left, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 10:15 AM
44

YEP. If you say this in any of the regular dating or advice subs you'll get yelled at by a bunch of guys who I'm guessing are shy/anxious/lazy/entitled and dream of having their perfect waifu magically ask them out while they put zero effort in. It's absolutely the truth though. If a worthwhile HV guy is really that interested he'll make his move. (I appreciate that there are some cases of extremely shy men out there who would genuinely struggle with approaching a woman they like, but that's a s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 09:44 AM
18

I mean, good on you for cutting him out eventually, but nothing about any of this says high value. Delete his number, take some time away from dating, and go through sidebar posts here to get a better handle on a) what high value means and b) how to start building up your self-esteem and confidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 10:04 AM
9

By moving to a foreign country for him, with no ability to work or study on your visa, you have placed a huge amount of trust in this man. You made those plans together but it's a fundamentally unequal situation: you made a big sacrifice and moved away from your home and safety net to be with him, and he didn't have to do anything comparable. In that kind of situation it's imperative that the person who's not moving does as much as they can to help and support their partner - fulfil their end of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:52 AM
62

FDS: men should step up, be responsible, behave with honesty and integrity, improve the world around them everyone else: booooo Pickmeishas: men are little children who love to do games and we must let them play with their toys whenever they want everyone: [rapturous applause]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:23 AM
159

Excellent example of pick-me behaviour. Many women think this type of thing is just a bit of banter but it's actually a desperate audition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:48 AM
16

Not the person you asked sorry, but the book "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft is a must-read about domestic violence and abuse and it talks about the abuser telling people they are actually the victim. For example, the abuser doesn't see his own actions as abuse, so if his victim retaliates or tries to protect herself she must therefore be the abusive one suddenly hitting him/yelling at him/etc out of nowhere. Eye-opening book, I highly recommend. I'm so sorry you went through that with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:05 AM
8

Women who engage in this kind of banter are engaging in Cool Girl pick-me nonsense. They think they're signalling how chill and fun they are, but they're really only signalling that they're open to interacting in a trashy, vulgar way with men. I used to do this shit - go along with locker room talk, try to show how special and unique I was, demonstrate that I'm not like the other girls. It's embarrassing to look back on and I'm glad I grew out of it eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 06:03 AM
33

You put in more effort because of "the gender differences"? Yikes. A man and a woman might put in different types of effort to dating, but you should never be putting in a greater overall amount of effort than a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:45 AM
32

An intimate and fulfilling sexual relationship with a partner who is deeply invested in your pleasure and who wants to truly know you and your body should in fact be the baseline!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:42 AM
27

Talking online, even by facetime, is not the same as getting to know someone irl - you don't really "know" this guy even though you've invested months in chatting to him. Now you're feeling hurt by his actions even though you're not in a relationship with the guy and he's not made a move to meet you irl or any other move towards a proper relationship. If you didn't feel motivated to keep a night free for him at some point consider that perhaps you're not really that keen on him, also. If your li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 05:42 AM
6

I would like to care for a partner with these acts, but any woman doing this stuff with this mindset is only setting herself up to be used. I'd do these things only for a good man who's earned my trust and demonstrated his value and integrity and commitment to me - wouldn't do any of it for a man who's not my husband or about to be. Women with a caring nature need to be protective of themselves and wary of men who will take and take from them without nurturing them in turn. It's so easy to get t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:06 AM
3

Sounds like a pretty convenient sleeping disorder. You don't say if you did go over to his, but don't be at a man's beck and call. If he texts you way after you'd agreed to get in touch, explain that you're busy doing something else now and tell him he can propose another time to get together. Also make firm arrangements with a specific time, don't leave room for him to say "but we didn't set a time" when he messages you hours later. Notice that right now he's not having to do any work: he gets …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 05:41 AM
35

The pro porn hivemind consensus on r/relationships and r/relationship_advice is genuinely scary. I hate going to those subs and seeing posts just like this one with a woman expressing perfectly fine and normal worries about her partner's porn use and the comments full of people berating her for her feelings. Not just men doing this, too - plenty of Cool Girls there earning pick-me points. My heart breaks a little for those women seeking advice, knowing they'll get overwhelmingly biased answers f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 12:50 PM
24

Absolutely. I especially cringe when I see screenshots on here of a woman telling a guy off for being "low value" or saying that they're looking for a "high value" man or similar. It sounds weird, it's bad to use the jargon outside the sub, and it's frankly a pick-me thing to do. The actually powerful FDS move is to just move straight on from a dud guy instead of wasting your time time and energy giving him a serve. The aim is indifference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:38 AM
5

Asking the question is a red flag, and instead of trying to come up with an "optimal answer" just walk away from this sort of thing. Worrying about an answer is behaviour coming from a pick-me mindset. You don't need to waste your time putting together some amazing response - you're giving the guy here way too much power. Who cares what he thinks? You shouldn't. Women are often socialised to think that we have to entertain anything said to us, but we have to realise that we can choose not to pla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 10:48 PM
8

Absolutely. One of the best FDS lessons is that it's foolish to expect a man's behaviour and attitude to improve when the bar starts low. If he's not showing an appropriately high level of interest and investment from the first, sure there's a chance things could change, but is it worth your time to hang around to find out when you could be out there finding someone who's actually enthusiastic and obviously keen? Found this out the hard way after asking men out and taking the lead in advancing t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:30 AM
26

What a needy little bitch. This is the most unattractive shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 07:39 AM
25

Thank you so much for saying it. "Casual sex/FWB/etc is empowering and liberating for women, let's reclaim our sexuality and do it on our terms" is the biggest fucking cope. We all need to wake up to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 05:18 AM
71

The bikini comment was dumb, but I was really cringing at the condescending way he was pretending to care about what his wife was telling him. Being married to a man who thinks I'm someone to humour is one of my worst nightmares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 08:31 AM
7

The answer to a solid % of posts on r/relationships. It's really as simple as this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 03:09 AM
3

My comment clearly struck a nerve with you! All the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 09:44 PM
4

The bar is on the floor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 09:12 PM
1

My comment literally says "I want to get married" and nothing about other women, who can do whatever they like. It's condescending of you to assume that me expressing my preference for marriage means that I buy into sexist beliefs about women and marriage generally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 08:32 PM
8

Thank you! Yet again a smart woman on this sub puts something into words that I've always had weird feelings about but couldn't quite put my finger on. I don't want a "long-term relationship", I want to get married. LTRs are pick-me arrangements. Men who are afraid of firm commitment and the responsibilities of marriage generally have weak characters and it's actually nice of them to signal their LV status clearly to us by using these wishy-washy phrases and framing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:10 AM
10

Absolutely. In the past I've asked men out or made significant advances, and I've either been turned down or ended up in relationships that sat on a spectrum from "boring" to "excruciating". I grew up with the advice that it's important for the man to be more keen than the woman in a relationship, but at some point I fell prey to ideas about how empowering and modern it is for women to just be bold and go after what they want (thanks liberal feminism!). I'm glad to have learned this lesson throu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 10:11 AM
20

If you're working on self-improvement and want to get into a proper relationship, I don't see how having a FWB arrangement with a low value man from your past is aiding you. Focus your time and energy on yourself for now. Keep your future HVM in mind and don't get distracted with a LVM, especially one who you have baggage with. FDS advocates only ever getting involved with HV men, whether it's as a potential bf/husband or FWB. A LV man in your life will only drag you down, even if you're just fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 09:41 AM
28

So he was "emotionally bonded" enough with you to have sex on date #4? Or he was ok with having sex with you without an "emotional bond" having formed? Either way, the logic doesn't add up and sex this soon isn't great. Sexuality and attraction is complex for sure, but side-eye to people who feel the need to give it these special labels. It's narcissistic. I'm sorry to sound harsh but the situation seems a bit off! Really wishing you well with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 01:19 AM
16

All women should read through key manosphere texts and sites. Be familiar with it all, understand these ideas, learn how to guard yourself against them. Following FDS principles is an excellent way to very quickly weed out guys doing PUA shit. Confidence and strong boundaries are key.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 03:40 AM
19

YES. I get so sad seeing women in this sub posting screenshots of messages they're sending to men who have wronged them. Don't waste your time ladies. I get that it feels good to say fuck you to a guy who has hurt you but all you're doing is refuelling your own hurt feelings and giving him an ego boost. The only way to go is cold turkey no contact and distracting yourself with fun and exciting stuff that will make you feel yourself again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 02:36 AM
5

You know there are other men out there who won't create this much internal conflict and drama for you? Or you could take a break from dating altogether and just chill on your own for a bit? Imo if you're stressing this much over a guy it's time to seriously consider moving on. Things with the right person will be simpler and easier. No guy is worth putting this much time and energy into. Look after yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:23 AM
7

You've gotten some excellent advice here. I want to add/reiterate that you seem extremely excited about this guy and that's understandable, but you need to rein it in. It's easy to be impressed by a man with a prestigious career but remember that that in itself doesn't make him high value. High value is about, amongst other things, a man's behaviour towards you - like is he pursuing you enthusiastically and respectfully? Is he showing initiative in planning dates? Does he truly listen to you? Is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:43 PM
41

Yeah red flags here, I'd let it go. Alluding to mental health issues early on is bad. It shows lack of boundaries and disregard for social norms. You don't put heavy stuff on a total stranger. It's fine to have mental health problems, many of us do, but a person who's dealing with it appropriately won't bring it up like this. This lack of awareness will no doubt manifest in other ways. The sad sack/perpetual victim routine. Probably one of the most unattractive things a man can do imo. Yes, life…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:01 PM
45

You're stuck in a dead-end mindset. Using concepts like "sexual market value", desperately wanting to be prettier, enviously focusing on how men treat beautiful women - give it all up. You need to break out of this way of thinking. You have been taught all your life to think this way and it's hard to let it go, but you'll end up in a very bad place if you keep going like this. You've been through a horrible experience and I'm so sorry. Your ex boyfriend sounds like a truly awful person. To learn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:15 PM
16

Once you're at the point where you're doing stuff like double texting and using someone else's phone to test whether he's avoiding picking up when you call, it's already past time to leave it behind. He's not keen enough to make a proper effort. Delete his number and move on. You'll know when you meet a good quality guy who's going to give you the time and effort you deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:52 AM
30

Midsommar might be the most unexpectedly empowering film I've ever seen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 09:22 AM
12

You may find yourself getting approached by a lot of men but it only progresses onwards and takes up your time and energy if you let it. Get used to shutting men down quickly. Train yourself to forget about them fast. Don't let them take up space in your head. The vast majority of approaches you get will be from low quality, unsuitable men. Everyone deals with this. Continue reading the sub to pick up ways to tell if an approach is actually coming from a worthwhile man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 08:28 AM
11

Here's my take. Don't think of "high value" as a set of attributes you must obtain before you are allowed to have a good relationship and experience love. It is a mindset connected to your self-worth. You are already inherently valuable in the sense that you deserve respect, love, kindness, compassion, and ethical treatment in your relationships. We all do. When you have low self-esteem and low confidence and are suffering from loneliness, you may feel that seeking out crumbs of attention and af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 03:04 PM
13

Cut all contact with this guy right now and don't talk to him again. Do lots of things to distract yourself. Time is the only answer here, but you can help the process along. You'll eventually start to think about it less and less. At some point you'll stop thinking of him at all. Your feelings of regret will fade with time, too. Turn the power of those negative feelings into something positive: you've hit a low point and learned an important lesson, and now you can use this invaluable experienc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:08 AM
38

Further evidence that these men simply do not see women as other humans. We are collections of attributes to them. They will remain alone and miserable as long as they insist on having these fucked up shopping lists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 11:26 AM
25

Breaks my heart to read posts like this. Of course it's on men to not do this shit, but I wish all women could be confident in telling men to fuck off when it happens. So often we doubt ourselves and second-guess ourselves and twist ourselves to accommodate men. It has to stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:46 AM
21

Never be chauffeur for a guy. Never EVER drive a guy and his mates around. Don't be a sucker, ditch this loser right now. He's putting in less than zero effort. Take a break from dating and work on your confidence and self-esteem otherwise you're going to keep getting taken advantage of. Keep reading this sub to get a handle on the basic standards to expect from a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 04:15 AM
10

All pornography consumption is harmful, not just hardcore/BDSM/extreme content. This is important to understand. When he watches any pornography he's stimulating the reward centre in his brain with low effort and causing himself to need more and more, and he's desensitising himself to real-world sex - he possibly relies on particular or extreme physical stimulation (e.g. google 'death grip') and is also training himself to be a spectator or voyeur instead of participant. Certainly go to the doct…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 03:57 AM
11

Forget about him. If his first impulse is to try to fuck you, not take you out on a date, he's not looking for a relationship with you. If things start at this low point they're not going to magically become more high-effort - you have to ensure the bar starts high. Let it go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 01:36 AM
28

Top quality post, beautiful strong words. Thank you so much for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 06:41 AM
6

Well, you're still wasting at least some time by sending long messages to this guy. Real queen shit is simply removing worthless men from your life and moving on. When you're angry and hurting it's normal to want to give the other person a piece of your mind but it won't ultimately help you let go. Keep working at it, it can be hard to make the break but once you do you'll feel amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 05:17 AM
2

Take the stuff, engage in enough minor pleasantries to constitute a normal human interaction, and go. Even better if a friend or family member can do this meetup for you instead. Don't get into a conversation, and don't say something to him about being low value. The impulse to lash out is strong when you're still hurting, but all it does is show him that he's still affecting you. Be an ice queen and help yourself truly move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 12:34 PM
2

A few thoughts as a regular orchestra and opera solo attendee. I agree with other commenters about clothing advice. I personally like to wear something stylish and classy to a concert, I'd never ever wear sneakers or casual clothing, but the reality nowadays is that some people do wear casual and no one wears evening gowns. This NYE concert sounds like a special event where you could get dolled up and still fit in, but things like stole and gloves is perhaps going to look out of place - I don't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 02:26 AM
5

"Staying friends" with someone you're sexually/romantically attracted to is not going to go well - way too much potential to keep the feelings alive and prevent yourself from moving on. He's not the only guy out there who you'll ever have an intellectual connection with. If he was keen he would be actively seeking you out and planning more dates; if you need to ask him how he's feeling, you already know the answer. Lots of love to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 01:33 AM
7

This is a lot of text for a man who's not worth it. I've been there and I know that it's easy and tempting right now to get caught up in all these details, in rationalising, in feeling ashamed, in wondering what you could or should have done differently, but it boils down to something very simple: this man's behaviour shows you unambiguously that he does not respect you. You need to love yourself and cut him out of your life. He's shown you who he is and he is NOT your friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 02:37 AM
52

Says he's uninterested in other women, yet was jerking it to porn every night. This is the way the pornsick brain operates - porn apparently doesn't count.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 06:26 AM
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