Overthinking question

thanarealnobody · 2021-04-25T23:34:03+00:00

A grown up gives the break up the time it needs and moves on. And honestly if a guy is genuinely interested in you and is over his ex, he’ll not hesitate to delete the old anniversary photos or Valentine’s posts. Excuses like “it’s time consuming” or whatever just means they are prioritising their relationship with them over you. I mentioned to a guy once that I had looked at his Instagram and the next day I noticed that that he had deleted all the old photos of his ex. So it is possible.

I don’t have a solution for that insecurity, because I feel it too. I think I feel an extra pull of it because no guy has ever posted a photo of me on social media.

I think it’s important to keep in mind that people are constantly changing and what you liked 5-10 years ago are completely different to what you like now so it’s kind of pointless to compare. You are getting a completely different version of this person than any of their exes got - and it’s in the past for a reason.

pinksamosa · 2021-04-26T14:07:03+00:00

I stopped reading at ‘time consuming’ if he’s not willing to take 5 mins out to sort something that is making you uncomfortable then you need to think things over. Morden dating has made us think that our very valid needs and concerns are over dramatic and that we need to play the cool and chill girl at all times.

eru378 · 2021-04-26T08:44:44+00:00

I used to worry like this, and one key thing that helped was to take a big step back from social media. Reduced my friends list, deleted a lot of posts and photos, limited my usage, posted much less. I never really enjoyed it and getting rid of its oversized presence in my life was wonderful. Once the social media brain fog lifted, I worried so much less about the sorts of things you're describing. Highly recommend creating and nourishing a life away from Online. Your post makes me think you are spending a lot of time looking at other people's social media pages - stop right now. You are only hurting yourself.

As for your actual question: I look for men who have a similar attitude to me wrt social media - very little use, don't plaster their personal lives all over it, but do care about how their online persona comes across - so wouldn't have pictures of ex partners up. I'm sure some people have pictures of exes on social media and genuinely are over them and can't be bothered to remove the pics, that's fine, but men like that are not for me and I simply select them out. But the question of pictures of exes seems to be one part of your bigger question about people loving again. Of course people can love again. We make choices to create relationships and to love other people, and staying hung up on an ex is also a choice. Cultivating something new with another person who is a better match is also a choice, and people choose to do just that all the time.

Ancient-Cucumber · 2021-04-27T23:53:52+00:00

" they say they haven’t come around to deleting it bc it is too time consuming. " BS

" part of their past ", correct, part of their PAST, which means it has to go, not necessarily delete, but at least put in a private folder out of respect for the new person. But best is they would delete. I find it really unattractive when people have a string of exes on social media, because they never delete the photos, like some Ikea catalogue. Dump him.

Title	Overthinking question
Author	antoniaaahhh83
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	April 25, 2021 10:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/myiyx7/overthinking_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/overthinking-question.792136 https://theredarchive.com/post/792136

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