TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

gingerwabisabi Archive

View 12 posts and 983 comments by gingerwabisabi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1532

How-To High Valuegingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 11:38 PM
692

SHOWER THOUGHTgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 07:31 PM
415

DISCUSSIONgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:00 AM
314

GREEN FLAG 🟢gingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 04:32 AM
207

CULTURAL MISOGYNYgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:24 AM
172

SOCIAL GROUP STRATEGYgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 09:44 PM
145

FDS TRANSLATES MENgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 04:53 AM
136

WHOLESOME CONTENTgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:00 AM
106

Story time ☕gingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:52 PM
88

COCKHOLM SYNDROMEgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 02:46 AM
72

MINDSET SHIFTgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:43 PM
34

MINDSET SHIFTgingerwabisabi/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

I think they only test for HIV & syphilis there 8-0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 03:34 AM
12

Oh that's a good point! I guess do a joint visit to Planned Parenthood then, and insist on seeing the emailed results.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 02:38 AM
193

If you feel uncomfortable bringing this up, that can be a yellow flag in itself. With one ex, I was very nervous about bringing it up, though I still did. With my eventual husband, I just said I'd want us both to go get tested first. He smiled and said that would be a relief, and we went together to get full panels done. Afterward we went out to eat and I think watch a movie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 01:17 AM
37

Well, that didn't take long 8-( https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sucu68/ali_wongs_don_wong_show/hx9p5ye/ Hope she recovers well and doesn't try to search for a new man too quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 04:13 PM
15

Khaled Hosseini
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 05:17 AM
89

It is quite safe and can be used regardless of if you know or think you are pregnant or not. Women used to practice it on each other every month at feminist meetings so they could help other women they knew, and it's been used in developing countries for decades as an underground technique. I'm not sure how late it would work, but would definitely need to be in the first trimester. If you know the right sources, you can get emergency contraception or abortion pill anonymously by mail for free al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 10:51 PM
42

That's what I was going to do, but they are trying to make it illegal to say womanhood is biological, even on private emails, so I had to give up on that idea. The whole world is a hellscape that hates women and the only way to fix it is by refusing to reproduce except with the very very few decent men out there :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 10:12 PM
103

It is - for early abortions. It involves a simple suction device and early feminists used to practice it on each other to make sure they knew the technique. It also helps makes periods faster, thus the name menstrual extraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 10:03 PM
1240

I suggest every woman in one of these states look into the methods radical feminists in the 60s and 70s developed and shared with each other, become familiar with the mailing services for abortion pills, always keep a stock of cheap pregnancy tests on hand so you can know in time, AND only voluntarily have sex with a man who has A. already married you and B. moved you to a state with legal abortion. It's time to get EXTREMELY SERIOUS about our reproductive rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 07:22 PM
124

In the old days men were just not allowed to approach women. They had to wait to be introduced or else be considered absolute boors. HOWEVER, if a girl liked a guy she saw who was a stranger, she could drop a handkerchief or something inconsequential like that and if he liked her at all he would rush and grab it and present it to her. Then they could introduce themselves. There used to be many jokes about this scenario but I think the culture has kind of forgotten it. I feel like maybe it would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 03:32 AM
25

My now hubby can detect if I am upset about something if I BREATHE differently! So does mine! Isn't that a trip?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 04:37 AM
15

No, not if removed completely. Most doctors are not able to recognize all it's different appearances so often leave a lot behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 06:59 PM
18

No, just she started learning there, sorry to be misleading! She's been sharing stuff on FB constantly about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:54 PM
98

Oh my god, I am so sorry about how you've suffered, he was an awful abuser :( I have one friend who has gone deep into the research after getting diagnosed with endo and she started at a FB group called Nancy's Nook and has since made friends with a lot of doctors and researchers. Excision surgery, done by an EXPERT (as opposed to any old OB-Gyn that is willing to try) is the gold standard of care and can completely alleviate symptoms when they are able to remove all the lesions. It's a complex …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:15 PM
38

I have one friend who has gone deep into the research after getting diagnosed with endo and she started at a FB group called Nancy's Nook and has since made friends with a lot of doctors and researchers. Excision surgery, done by an EXPERT (as opposed to any old OB-Gyn that is willing to try) is the gold standard of care and can completely alleviate symptoms when they are able to remove all the lesions. It's a complex disease and the lesions can have 30+ different appearances, but complete remov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:14 PM
4

Are you trolling? Your account looks like a troll account and this weird ramble sounds like a troll. You're not really saying anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 08:07 PM
208

I understand what she means, about general situations. I've dealt with a huge amount of trauma and invisible health issues that have held me back in life. It's taken a long long time to achieve many of the goals I had set for myself and I'm still working on some things that others have had easily their whole lives because they were born into different circumstances. That said, we are talking about dating and marriage here. We are not rehab centers for broken men. We are looking for a partner tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 09:33 PM
47

or surrogacy No, this is traumatic and cruel to the baby (and the surrogate). Ripping a baby away from its mother (which she is regardless of genetics) creates an orphan and is selfish and exploitative of both the surrogate and the baby. It's been conditioned into us to think of surrogacy casually, but it's not just another option that is available, it's wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 09:35 PM
14

I see! So he wants to make thousands of dollars off of you - yeah, time for a new doctor! There are many many couples with fertility issues, but a lot of the time it's due to things like the guy smoking weed all the time or drinking a lot etc., as well as the health issues I mentioned above like blood sugar issues. Try to focus on eating lots of nutrients, building a life with plenty of exercise in it, medical care, etc., and you should have quite a few years with good fertility potential left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 09:24 PM
63

(((hugs))) if you want them! First, the fertility data showing a drastic drop in fertility after age 35 is based on birth data from the 1700s! The most important factors for you until about age 40 are keeping good low blood sugar, low blood pressure, and eating well + exercising regularly but not too hard. Egg freezing is also very profitable for doctors but frequently results in NO babies - it's not very effective, really. If you are worried about fertility, I'd get my hormones checked to see h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 08:46 PM
68

Hmm. We don't argue about money or restaurants or where to live or how to deal with the challenging members of our families, so... Well, we have argued about normal quirks of daily living habits. Research shows that some arguments are NEVER fully resolved because no two people are exactly alike. It's how you handle the recurring friction that has a lot to do with relationship quality. At first when we moved in I was still struggling with assertiveness and speaking up for myself. He on the other …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 01:11 AM
10

You may be right about men not regretting losing their families. Many claim to be deeply upset about it online, but maybe it's just because they "lost." And yeah, totally agree that putin has no backstory that if we just knew the key we could fix him - it's very very dangerous for women to think that way. Men like him and trump are evil because they ENJOY being evil. Still, putin is now in a situation where he cannot trust ANYONE not to poison him, he has to constantly worry about being assassin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 03:10 PM
9

China/Taiwan one to a stalker situation Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:29 AM
3

Is it just me does anyone else think the trendy red eye makeup makes women look very sad? I'm trying to decide if she strikes me as so sad because of the eye makeup or because of other factors and I think it's both - her body language was quite tense and her voice and face were so... pressured looking. It quite possibly has nothing to do with her boyfriend and more to do with her job/friends/family issues/health issues/whatever, but she does look very stressed out and sad to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 03:22 AM
123

For me, waking up to the overwhelming amount of hatred for women in this world was a much longer and slower process, as I started slowly coming to terms with it long before FDS was a thing. I used to downplay a lot, like that multiple people half-heartedly tried to kidnap me when I was a young teenager, or the extreme cruelty in the difference between the way my father treated my brothers and the way he treated me, or many other things, because I felt lucky that compared to other women, "at leas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 05:15 AM
4

Haha, he was in his early 30s when we met and the gray hair was because of severe stress, so it probably depends a lot on stress and age!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 10:38 PM
139

Aww :) I've talked in my better than botox post and elsewhere about my husband being good for my physical health, but he's also way healthier since meeting me in a bunch of ways. He even 99% reversed the streaks of gray hair he had when we met and used to have a bunch of stress-related health problems that are gone now. It's a wonderful thing to be each other's home :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 04:24 AM
51

I wonder who was shit talking you such that she was "defending you" so often? If it was her boyfriend, that should have alerted her to the fact that he was a terrible person and she should have dumped him ages ago. Anyone else, she should have stopped being friends with over it. It was probably your rapist trying to smear your reputation to other people and while she probably felt caught between a rock and a hard place with her boyfriend "staying friends to protect other women," she has been tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 05:14 AM
14

Quite true. I haven't dated one of those, so no personal data points there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 08:12 PM
34

while smart guys in humanities Yes, go for the humanities guys like my husband. I have STEM brothers and they are exactly like OP's description.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 07:14 PM
14

I am here because a. I want to share what is possible. It might come across as bragging, which I don't want to make people feel bad, but there are too few happily married people talking about it online and b. it's one of the few feminist places left on reddit. I get a lot of feminist solidarity on twitter too, but I like the long form honest talk here. It's really helped improve my life and even helped me help my mom finally leave my horribly abusive dad the final time, as well as helped me cut …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 04:32 AM
8

men won’t make me cum multiple times in one night, their dicks aren’t that big or hard, and men aren’t that nice or romantic. :( I don't know your anatomy of course, so maybe it's not possible for you, but depending on time of the month (hormones affect things somewhat) I've regularly spent more than 45 minutes riding that wave over and over solely because of what husband is doing, no toys or any of my fingers. I'm not sure what you want for romance, but I'm happy there too. Believe it is possib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 03:47 AM
45

hetero couples are labor camps for women Excuse me, it's illegal to be that eloquent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 07:08 PM
297

Ew. How utterly cringy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 02:13 PM
51

Yeah, I expect you are right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 09:04 PM
106

Probably. Like my brother who thought he was so different from our dad because he's a "feminist," i.e. thinks OF is empowering and prostitution is fine as long as she's "not obviously trafficked," blah blah blah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 07:26 PM
434

I noticed a person who stayed sitting who "didn't know any victims" - is a man, of course. Garuantee he DOES know victims, they just don't trust him to talk to him about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:10 PM
75

This is so sad :( I first heard of him because she posted her (thirsty) reaction video to him chopping wood. I hopped over there because that was some major eye candy and apparently also an activist, but I never followed him because I noticed after watching some of the videos that he seemed like a bully to me - he literally started a video to a Holocaust survivor by saying "hi colonizer." Like what ?!?!?! Just because he's an old man and he's white does not mean he's a colonizer, like oh my god …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 06:16 AM
2

Sure, I haven't had much time to read this last year or so, sadly, but from what I can recall Tessa Bailey books were usually pretty good, not super heavy on the sex but nice scenes, and the Sullivans series by Bella Andre I remember making me blush. There's a lot of questionable romance out there, especially since scrotes figured out it was the most profitable genre by far (I think about 1/3 of the authors are males in disguise now, although you can almost always tell quite easily) but I think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 05:50 AM
25

As someone also raised in purity culture, I credit my constant sneaking of romance books for my relatively uncomplicated adult sex life. I also spent most of my life, though, not being attracted to anyone around me and thinking there was something wrong with me for it, so I retreated deeper into "book boyfriends" and was a late bloomer with dating. I don't recommend even "women's porn," but I do recommend reading certain books for vicariously experiencing love and romance and sex in a healthy wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 08:30 PM
3

iDK why but you're not the only one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMtnLlGTllQ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 07:21 PM
74

I suspect this is correct. Don't have an adequate sample size to confirm, but husband is not squeamish and uh... he drives me craaaazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 11:41 PM
6

I would, but sounds like you have read a lot more than I have! Still working my way through Andrea Dworkin - as a side note, she was SO effective. Growing up in fundie land, preachers regularly brought her up in the most hyperbolic and vicious ways you can imagine. Clearly she got under their skin, lolol. The only other feminist they ever mentioned was Susan B. Anthony, so yeah...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 08:35 PM
3

:) Hehe nice to chat with another person who's been on there, it's so obscure I didn't expect it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:36 PM
10

I read a long article series on a very very separatist radfem website once that talked about how there is a sort of "parthenogenesis switch" that theoretically can allow reproduction asexually in most species, like whiptails already do (these lizards are 100% female), but in humans, interestingly enough, that switch has been essentially "jammed" BY THE Y CHROMOSOME. Lolsigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:21 PM
90

Sadly I think the men allowed to have the most children are the worst of them. Yeah, 1 in 200 men in the world trace back to Genghis Khan 8-( not like he was "just so attractive" to women, either, obviously he was out there raping every night, all night long. Congrats on being sterilized, that is an enormous privilege!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 05:00 AM
303

The invention of agriculture is responsible for a LOT of this, because it spread by violence (no one wanted to stop being hunter gatherers, they were forced) and so the most violent were the most successful, over and over. See the Taino who before the invasion of Europeans used to fight their wars with wooden swords so they wouldn't cause permanent harm! There is plenty of rape in the animal world, but humans are up near the top of the scale for how much actual malice males hold toward females a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 04:40 AM
2

Oh then it's a "treat" to find out more, like him always telling people to avoid drugs and then getting so addicted to opioids that he was in a coma for weeks and is probably brain damaged now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 08:20 PM
2

Thanks - I hope I didn't come off too harsh, he makes me see red and sometimes I think people don't know enough about him and think he might be more "reasonable" than some of the others, because he's slightly more clever at hiding it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 07:26 PM
8

The early red pill/manosphere was all about how eeeeevil women are for not staying virgins until marriage. Don't be fooled, none of these cretins stays focused on their own responsibility. Jordan Peterson especially bothers me bc he says stuff like "clean your room" which boys spend years hating their mothers for and rolling their eyes and all of a sudden they idolize what a genius he is for... saying the same thing their mother did? IDK why we would post him on here, he thinks socialism is bad …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 06:36 PM
15

Well, even as a sister of one, I'd been doing heavy heavy work on mostly self-therapy bc money for about 10 years. He had plenty of money and went to therapy a lot but only started actually perceiving and starting to look into our family issues about 10 years after I started - before that I guess he just complained to his therapists? He started reading a lot of the same books I had read, that at the time he had forbidden me from mentioning because they were "too upsetting," and telling me excite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 04:14 PM
1

Wow... I had no idea so many other people had the same exact experience 8-0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 03:15 PM
103

I think she is HV, because she’s rich and successful. Nope nope nope. The only thing being rich and successful has to do with HV is if they got money and success through hard work and other good character-related qualities. I cannot stress enough, money itself gives only vague hints about high value BEHAVIOR. LACK OF MONEY can (but not always) point to a man having character issues, such as constantly getting fired from jobs, not being able to stick to things, being lazy, etc. Ali Wong has a lot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 04:30 AM
44

I think this is everywhere. Someone (on this sub I think but can't find it now) linked a tiktokker a while back who talks about this, mending.me. It OPENED MY EYES. Basically EVERY Bible Study or women's small group meeting I ever went to when I was a Christian revolved around the married women talking about how their kids made them feel touched out but their husband really wanted it, how could they get themselves to do it more? They constantly talked to each other about needing their husbands t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:34 PM
5

When high value people lose their jobs, they will have generally prepared for that eventuality with enough savings and investements, and will hit the ground running, so they won't have to ask for your financial support at all. Yeah, even in my early twenties with medical debt and no savings, I would get a new job before leaving the old one. One time I got laid off and started a new job less than two weeks later. It just wasn't an option not to, because I had pets to care for and not much family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:12 PM
6

Well, my husband has had more than one life threatening medical crisis. The first one required a surgery to fix which he did all the paperwork and leg work for, finding an almost miraculous situation with a doctor that specialized in just that. We were still in the beginning of our relationship so sometimes he would call me up on his way to the ER in an ambulance, apologizing that he wouldn't be able to make it to our date because he couldn't stand up. The only thing he would let me do is like b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:05 PM
13

This is a very real phenomenon. I pay close attention to my skin and I can always tell when someone close to me is toxic because they’ll give me fine lines in a place where I never had them before. When I cut the person out of my life, the lines eventually go away. I legit can tell you exactly where on my face each of my garbage bfs gave me wrinkles (which all eventually went away after we broke up - not 100% away, but 98%). Toxic jobs, bosses, friends and family members will have the same effec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 11:24 PM
29

I believe it! My mom has a lot of serious health conditions but even she has glowed up after leaving my dad and getting him to (mostly) stop pestering her by email and text. No wonder we like getting free - whereas LVM experience this sort of health glow up when they get with us, so no wonder they get so upset when they can't trap us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 09:49 PM
46

Yup, it's amazing how scrotes are so focused on our looks and want us to be barbie doll 100% of the time but their treatment literally makes us less attractive. Just for their own sake you'd think they'd learn to be nice to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 09:06 PM
53

Oh yeah for sure. I kept trying to be aware of it and relax my face but I was tense ALL the time back then. I also had high cortisol and a belly from it which I could not lose no matter what. Since cutting my scrote progenitor off completely my health including weight loss has improved by leaps and bounds. Had so much back pain too back then. Dayum...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 09:04 PM
35

I'm glad you got away from him and hope it disappears for you too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:13 PM
46

You can tell he's not p*rnsick either, because if he had been, he wouldn't have been able to appreciate the outing nearly as much, he would have had flat affect from the brain damage. Exactly. Some of my favorite memories around holidays and birthdays are handmaking someone a gift and dreaming the whole time about how much they will like it. I have watched one of my brothers go from having that sort of innocent joy to becoming a horrid, pornsick, fake feminist who hates women and has a hard time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 05:38 AM
19

Aww, I'm so happy for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 05:36 AM
81

Most of us are not actively looking for insanely rich men (though men who are HV tend to set up their life to have easy access to money imo) but men who are generous with what they do have and are nice about it. Yup! Husband was on Disability when we met almost 10 years ago (so very very poor) but he was having a good time on the date and insisted we walk into this jewelry store we passed and find something. He spent what was then 10% of his monthly income (he didn't mention that fact and I only…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 05:35 AM
2

Who knows?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 07:58 PM
104

I think they just really don't care. I was very poor growing up and went to the dentist either once or twice before age 18. I also had to basically teach myself dental hygiene and on top of all that I have an autoimmune disease that causes bad gum disease no matter what I do. I don't and haven't had bad breath ever, despite so many infections requiring $$$$$ procedures, because I do everything I can including lots of mouthwash rinsing. There are a lot of people with a hidden struggle against dec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:33 PM
12

oh my, this makes me so happy. Please do send it to his employer and/or mom. 😈💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 05:07 AM
74

Seriously, the scrotes who demand sex immediately after birth HAVE to be doing it for sadistic reasons. We all know they masturbate during relationships all the time, the only reason he would be demanding this is to exert control over her and cause pain. He needs a discharge to the celestial waiting room.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 02:13 AM
20

Heh, yeah my dad and my parents' in law - I do help care for my mother's financial needs and will eventually do physical care work if necessary and we can't afford aides. Fortunately my brothers also pitch in financially. But she's the only one who gave a rat's ass about me as a kid and my husband's parents are astonishingly monstrous, so they can live off their golden child narc son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 04:50 AM
2

I'm so late to this, but I finally watched it (on 2x speed, highly recommend for getting through looong videos like this) and I was HIGHLY HIGHLY amused that these are two LESBIANS criticizing STRAIGHT women for complaining about and sharing issues they've had with dating men and how to deal with that. It was even MORE funny when they started reading our posts and mostly agreeing. Like they also make fun of men who don't care for their children, who have insane sexual demands while bragging abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 07:14 PM
56

Yes, it's really disgusting how these porn-brains "think" about horses. Also incredibly ignorant about horseback sports and how riding works. Also disgusting. As a proud "crazy horse girl" my entire life, if any man had EVER DARED to suggest I give up my horse for him, I would have literally kicked him in the rear. No way in the world, not happening, impossible, not an option, ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 05:14 AM
11

It won't let me vote, but a week ago - currently on 'that time of the month' so not feeling it right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 12:10 AM
34

OMG! How did I never notice this before!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 06:30 PM
105

I have slept with two guys in my life and neither was before 5 months. This was not for religious reasons but because I wanted to vet first. My husband was the 5 month guy, and for perspective all his other relationships started with girls asking him out. He had to put very little effort into dating girls, because he is hot and also genuinely a good guy with charm. He had NO PROBLEM waiting for me and was quite happy that I even said I wanted to get tested first as well. We made it like a date. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 11:46 PM
14

Basically, if someone r.apes a child or woman and knows that that will result in the death penality for him if he is found out, he suddenly has a huge additional motive to k.ill the victim. Dead children/women do not talk. Yeah, it's dangerous - I prefer if pedos can voluntarily or after being caught be confined to living situations where they can work and earn money (but not near children) and where they don't have access to children nor the internet except when supervised 1 to 1. They could li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 09:06 PM
117

It's sad but I'm not surprised - she was dating a dreadful Saudi billionaire for years. If she could stand to date a man like that who is 100% for sure all kinds of creepy and exploitative and was clearly okay with oppressing women, given that he controlled what she wore and is a SAUDI BILLIONAIRE who hasn't spoken out against the horrible things going on there, then she doesn't have good boundaries or picker at all. She'll be fine because of all her money, but her child is probably going to hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:29 PM
6

Ahhh, so good! Two of my aunts have been extremely influential in my life, don't underestimate your influence!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 08:15 PM
84

That was worse than I expected. That super innocent look? Fake. He's trying to act like he has an IQ in the teens so she'll baby him. I don't know how she can stand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 04:39 AM
1

A large percentage of alcoholics have undiagnosed diabetes and use alcohol to balance their blood sugar. I would be so interested to hear more about this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:35 PM
9

This is hilarious. My husband is well aware of FDS, knows that I post here, and has been able to help a male friend escape a male on male abusive relationship using FDS principles. He also loves dunking on scrotes - he was raised by a very violent narcissist and some of the threads I've shown him were quite cathartic for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:09 AM
15

I think after 24 hours they start alarming too, but still it's an awful technology because a predator can do a lot of damage in four hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 05:58 PM
17

I met and married my husband quite a while before FDS existed, but I had been working on myself and personal growth and assertiveness before we met. He had also been on a similar course, and actually only started dating again because his therapist encouraged him to. He did conform to a lot of FDS rules (without any prompting) even though we were both pretty libfem back then. He paid for our meals, bought me jewelry on impulse, talked to me every day, got to know me as opposed to working to fit m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 02:56 AM
219

Like so many people, he obviously grew up online and completely disconnected from certain basic realities. His results of only having a couple of possible interesting matches in six months is extremely NORMAL. Most of us are only interested in some people we see and it's pretty rare for them to like us back. It's even more rare to develop a genuine and lasting connection. If I were a guy, I would only swipe on women who I thought a. looked beautiful and b. seemed to have compatible personalities…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 09:45 PM
7

He "finds himself overspending?" Way to refuse responsibility. Also, eh is completely aware it's a bad idea and STILL wants to take advantage of her?!? What in the world is wrong with this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 07:00 PM
355

Why do they hate us SO much? I wonder this all the time - I don't understand that sadistic urge to hurt something, even a fake thing. I don't understand what goes on in their heads and why it's so many of them. Even if I think about a horrible murderer getting executed, I don't feel happy, I just feel relieved they can't hurt anyone anymore. The emotional need that so many have to cause hurt is really strange and frightening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 05:41 PM
3

In that case, I would see first how you feel around him and when you guys touch. How is the chemistry? Do you not only feel love for him but also happy/arousal feelings (can feel like tingling, butterflies in the stomach, being preoccupied with wanting him, etc), or is it too calm, like just a friend energy? Is he on your mind a lot? Do you WANT and eagerly look forward to getting naked with him (even if you're scared) or is it something you're kind of dreading? If that basic chemistry test is g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 08:19 PM
3

Of course he would wait. If a guy is really into a girl and has reason to believe she is into him, it's not a problem to wait until the right time. If after a sexual relationship is established, it turns out they have drastically different desire levels, it's a GOOD thing if they break up. Far better than to end up miserable for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 07:59 PM
22

I don't think breaking up over sexual incompatibility is shallow. It's quite possible he was a terrible boyfriend, but given the information we have it looks to me like he wanted to be a good lover to her but she just isn't very into it. There could be any number of reasons and back story that would make him a bad person, but this does not at the moment seem to be a case of a man dumping a sick woman or any of those shallow reasons we see a lot. It looks like a sad but needed end to a relationsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 07:38 PM
17

What we did is I sent a bunch of links to my sister who already has a good idea of my style, and then they got together and spent like a whole evening arguing (in a fun way) about which ring to get. They did a great job finding me a ring :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:54 AM
65

I love you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 09:42 PM
5

It's hard to run into a brick wall of male chauvinism in your own family. I used to think my older brother was a good man who tried hard, if not perfect. We grew up in Purity Culture which damages the men who try to follow it, just like it damages the women. Both of us on deconstructing initially accepted liberal feminist tenets, though I was always uneasy with the "sex work is work" type stuff because I didn't know any woman in real life that would be happy in sex work or prostitution. I though…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 08:09 PM
31

That is so cool about your brother and his friend. Good on them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 07:40 PM
43

I get what you are saying, but it makes me itchy to see extrapolations like this from historical periods. My parents' generation did a similar thing where they looked at history, saw a bunch of teenagers working and getting married, and decided that meant adolescence wasn't a thing and you could dump a bunch of work and responsibility on children and encourage them to get married at 18. It was a complete disaster for most of my peers in the fundamentalist homeschooling movement. Our brains usual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 10:30 PM
8

My MIL probably has the excuse of CTE for her aggression, memory issues, and pandering to terrible people. She has sadly been physically abused her whole life including strangling, so I feel sorry for her while also being angry that she not only allowed but also participated in abusing my husband so much. We are very very low contact with them. In her case, her crazy mother in law antics do involve some jealousy of me but my husband is very firm with boundaries and she seems scared of me, so we'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 08:52 PM
4

bodies are so weird. Like, vitamin D3 supplements seem to keep me in semi-OK range but going out in the sun in the summer and sunbathing in a swim suit is by far the best at getting my levels up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:15 AM
8

200 mg of ibuprofen Ugh!!! It's safe to take up to 800 mg at a time for most people, so don't wait for insurance etc., just buy the tablets otc and take up 3x a day. Do try to keep the use time short though to avoid stomach irritation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:09 AM
5

Weird! I have absorption issues from celiac so do a lot of things to avoid deficiencies, including eating liver frequently. I don't think I had a problem with B12 even before that, though, bc my family was big on eggs. I wonder why your body just doesn't want to absorb it? Dang... hope the doctor gets a little more lenient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:05 AM
1

Haha that would be awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:08 AM
2

Unbelievable. Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:08 AM
1

Guess we're from different socioeconomic statuses then. I owned two horses and still never spent more than $5k in a year even with expensive medical emergencies. My sewing machines and many of my supplies were hand me downs from family and I don't think I've spent more than $100 on a project. As for art, yeah, I don't know anyone who does that for a hobby. To peasants like me, though, it's an expensive hobby if it costs multiple thousands to get into and involves a lot of weekends away from home…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 06:36 PM
15

Why god why?!? Whyyyyy did I click on this post???? 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 07:07 AM
15

Exactly. I keep going into these stories trying to consider all sides, hoping to find a guy I can actually feel sorry for (IDK, still some of that societal training that wants to think there are lots of good men) but I'm almost always let down. Occasionally I'll run across an iata guy who defended his wife or child and got yelled at by his family, but that's about it for advice seeking guys I've seen who are in the right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:25 PM
2

He's into mountain biking and apparently owns bikes that seem to sell for $5k to $7k, plus a lot of gear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:24 PM
35

Side note, now I realize a man wouldn't have thought twice about being labeled a gold digger and wouldn't have done 5% of the household labor. Yeah. It's like a lightbulb moment, isn't it? does anyone else get a little weirded out when a man really wants kids? Sometimes. And you should always be wary of ancap men like this guy - their favorite philosophers tend to say things like "age of consent is an infringement on children's right to self determination" and ALSO say things like "you made your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:19 AM
27

Yeah, the lack of communication is unfortunate. I do agree it's a lot of money- but since his mindset was "I'll pay for that and then you give me kids," he was low-balling her, especially since he seems to have wanted her to keep working after. One surrogate pregnancy costs about that much and they are STILL unethical and exploitative. If I were her, I might pay him back for the degree out of my new good income, just to stop him holding that over my head. To me the LV part was because of how he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:04 AM
302

I also wonder if she flashed back to true crime stuff when he came rushing back saying his car was dead and he needed help. There have been some times where something like that has made me suddenly afraid of someone and try to leave asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 10:21 PM
11

Haha, melting candle was what I was going to say! He looks so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 04:54 AM
65

Fyi endo knowledge among doctors is terrible. Hysterectomy only helps with lesions that are IN the uterus... You need expert excision surgery from a doctor who specifies in it. I recommend looking up Nancy's Nook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 12:05 AM
15

we have quit exercising areas in the brain of boys and young men responsible for altruistic behaviour. Yeah, for hundreds of years there was a common saying "Every boy needs a dog." It was for emotional reasons, to help him develop empathy, leadership, compassion, responsibility... one of many ways society tried in the past to develop boys. Nowadays almost no boys run around outside with their dog and other boys, having adventures. There are a lot of reasons for that. Cars are a big one. Add in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:31 AM
67

Do they turn their abuse and charm on and off according to who is around - people they take for granted, or people they want to impress?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 06:27 PM
23

Thanks! It is suuuuch a fun show!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 02:06 AM
67

That is refreshing! Which one is it? Also, have you seen Dramaworld???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 01:18 AM
461

Me remembering how at about 8 years old I started noticing and trying to compensate for my dad's laziness in gifts to my mom. Ugh. Do better, scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 10:53 PM
173

Why are men so weak nowadays? Like, seriously... I haven't had sex with a guy BEFORE 5 months in and many men through history have had to wait years and until after marriage to get it. This guy has been conditioned to think women have to show attraction through sex and if she hasn't done it yet she MUST not really like him... yet they also complain constantly about th0ts etc. I'm old enough to know just how badly men have gone downhill since I was a teenager and it's disturbing to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 03:17 AM
27

Husband has bipolar, is not scrotatious like Kanye at all. Kanye is extremely extremely narcissistic and I think that accounts for much of his actions. I feel bad for all the Kardashian bunch, Kris is a brutal greed machine and Kim and the rest are seriously damaged from all that. I respect their hustle, feel bad for the mental toll their lifestyle in the public eye takes, and also have lots of side eye for them continuing all that mess... I hope Kim can find a good and peaceful life for her and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 05:46 PM
17

In your situation, I'd suggest coming up with a topic you can chatter endlessly about and launching into any time she asks about your life, like "I found this great new show with x and x and it's about..." or "I've been having so much fun with this game. See, the story of the game starts way back in..." It's a chatty sort of gray rock. That way, you can talk a bunch while still boring her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 05:38 PM
74

Please report it both to the hospital and his licensing association. The hospital should have an ombudsman who can help you make an official complaint. If he gets a few similar reports, hopefully his license will be taken away and he can go be a creep elsewhere - or, hopefully, he might learn with just one complaint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 05:28 AM
143

Ugh, what a frustrating story. I hate how Western universities try so anemically to convince their students that those they study "are real people, we swear, treat them like real people!" yet simultaneously have huge mental blind spots born of condescension. For one thing, any researcher is ALSO getting studied by their "subjects." People will talk about the researcher, make fun of dumb things they do, watch their daily activities, look for ways to make money off them, make jokes about them deca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 12:15 AM
17

They did, because they were still scrotes. The women back home had the rape protection. There were also other instances of the women in the lands they traded with/sometimes plundered being attracted to them because of their good hygiene and manners - there are poems written by the local scrotes complaining about this. https://skjalden.com/vikings-seduced-women-across-europe/ so much lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 08:41 PM
6

Yeah, the whole "societal collapse" thing was a large part of why my parents homeschooled us, didn't want our morals collapsing into nihilism... I used to hear phrases like "feminists like Andrea Dworkin want to break up the nuclear family" and she was basically this boogeyman that wanted to take little kids away from their mothers. I was out for years before I started looking into her. It's good being a curious little rebel, isn't it? :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:43 PM
18

Yeah, look up the Sarmatians - amazing warrior women with a society that lasted for hundreds of years and everyone feared them :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:39 PM
25

Yup. Red p*llers are always like "men built civilization" like it's a brag (and completely overlooking the many brilliant women who invented, discovered, and worked on things against all odds not to mention gave birth to every single tribe and nation ever) but when it comes to modern society and the Industrial Revolution I'm like "yeah, you guys can take the credit for this clusterfuck."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:37 PM
311

Male depravity always waxes and wanes with how much permission society gives it. In 800s England I heard there was a saying that a naked woman could walk the whole length of England and never be bothered or receive an untoward look, something like that, and ancient Assyria had strict punishments for street harassment (because they realized that women need to participate in society if you want to be prosperous) so everywhere in their empire women felt safe to walk alone. The Vikings had good divo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:54 AM
46

Did you ladies also grow up hearing sermons or reading opeds in religious literature about "evil marxist feminists" like Andrea Dworkin who wanted to "destroy families?" I find it highly, highly amusing that they so often named her specifically. It's even more amusing to grow up and become such a huge fan of her, like I genuinely consider her one of the most brilliant philosophers/social commentators ever. Those fundie scrotes were terrified of her, even years after she died.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:20 AM
12

Yup. This is one of my brothers. I've cut him off and he's oddly desperate to get me to pay attention to him again but life is SOOO much better. When he tried to apologize he had no idea, or pretended to have no idea, what he had done wrong and I was like, let him start draining my energy again while resenting me the whole time? No way. The dumbest part is he is CONVINCED he is a "feminist."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 11:58 PM
24

Sure, no problem!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 10:03 PM
51

stories for days, yup! Congrats on getting out! It really takes so much effort to rethink it all - I got lucky in not getting married and pregnant young, so I had time to figure stuff out and gtfo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 09:29 PM
165

Good. I grew up in that subculture, multiple people I knew were friends with the Duggars. It cost me a lot to leave fundie-land, but I have never regretted it even a little. I hope he has a long sentence and dies in jail and can never hurt anyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:15 PM
28

I'm sorry for your children's loss and congrats on your smarts toward the end. Onward and upward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 07:26 PM
193

I expect I know why, but not allowed to talk about it on (reddithateswomen).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 07:22 PM
77

UGH, I LOATHE "country people" like this. I've met some as a kid, like this family whose beautiful black Lab had a very crooked hind leg and casually admitted she had been run over as a puppy and they never took her to a vet. I can't imagine how much painful arthritis she had. As a teen and adult I've had to call in multiple animal cruelty reports for various situations. The "country people" who do this stuff are invariably terrible at farming and unable to make a profit. Their lack of empathy s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:03 PM
70

Yeah, if you end up living in a place with no legal abortion (or if you currently live with very difficult access) then let's start demanding $1000 non-refundable cashier's check deposits from guys for first dates. It's insurance for if he causes you to need an abortion for any reason (rape included). If he won't pay it, he's either too poor to risk being with or he doesn't value you enough. Also, you can look up general details about people's voting records online in many places, so check and m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 12:26 AM
11

He was sitting with Seth Rogen? Lolol he was definitely doing that to flex then, show off how he's tight with celebrities, but SR is so... unattractive that I didn't even notice him there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:25 AM
80

I loled at the "my most irrational fear is commitment" scrote - like, dude you are so bland and basic looking that you should be ecstatic if any woman is willing to take you on. You can tell by his body language and clothes that he is a. lazy b. DEEPLY insecure and trying to impress his bros at all times and c. soon going to be fat and on the way to multiple heart attacks, ED, bald head, and chronic desires to go to sports bars to relive the "glory days" that never quite happened for him. Jakk i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:12 AM
36

I've been out of the dating game for almost a decade now, but husband and I didn't text much. He would email me long but interesting letters once or twice a day, that were quite easy to reply to, and sometimes talk on the phone or text. A lot of our time was spent face to face. I don't like texting anyone incessantly because it feels harder and harder to come up with good conversation and I feel more and more inane. I also never felt bad about telling guys that I worked a lot and it could be hou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:18 AM
131

So (in response to their slipping value), men have unintentionally but collectively come up with a new form or capital: providing validation. Their approval and praise (and lack of praise) is their currency. I never thought of it like that before! Interesting...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 09:56 PM
18

This comment and the one you are replying to are both chef's kiss Most of what he said was SO wrong, except for the "most straight men don't like women," part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 05:28 PM
66

The way they view sex is almost like watching two horses breed. The male horse just walks up to the female horse, hops on, pumps four times and walks away—no foreplay, romantic gestures needed. Interestingly, that is not even how horses do it when left to themselves! The stallion has to court the mare repeatedly while she is coming into season and talk sweetly to her, groom her, for days. Only when she gives the signal is he allowed to breed her. There is a lot of foreplay. These human scrotes j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 07:53 PM
6

Why? It sounds bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 11:46 PM
2

Yup! Scapegoat for sure - it was SOOOO comforting when I found that out and also found out that usually the scapegoat is the most emotionally healthy one in the family and has a good chance at healing well once away from the family. That has been true for me. My dad is dead to me, like I care very little about any news I hear of him, and I've been able to help my siblings a lot (as some of them have also helped me). The remaining niggles are related to being mad at my mom for enabling him. I und…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 10:01 PM
26

Probably! Hahaha. Sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 06:28 AM
231

men can finally cash in on a little bit of power. Yup. It's basically the reason why my dad resented me so much and constantly emotionally abused me - I was never a bad kid, but I just wasn't interested in propping up his ego all the time and couldn't be arsed to perform in that way like the others in the family could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 04:52 AM
209

The ONLY way someone can be a "virtuous ped*phile" is by voluntarily and permanently: Relinquishing the right to unsupervised internet time, FOREVER. This means no smart phones, computers, i-pads, etc., except when either being watched by a determined (not lazy or easily manipulated) supervisor OR if there is no internet available. Giving up any contact with children and making sure the people around that enforce such a barrier. Should go without saying, but NO having their own children. Decidin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 08:20 PM
30

I think we're socialized to think money is bad because people are so hush-hush about it Definitely. A couple of the "money ladies" I follow make it a point to talk, proudly, about being rich women and they go into detail all the time about not only getting the money but also the challenges they face even now and about how to use the money for the greatest effect. They specifically want to normalize women talking about money and about HAVING it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:55 AM
51

u/thewetdog_ has great advice so I'll just add what I wish someone had told me earlier. Realize that wanting money is not evil and that you can do a great deal of good with money. Decide you WILL be wealthy. Begin learning about money in a relatively easy way, .i.e. haphazard absorption, by following high quality forums/authors/content creators who talk about money. Learn about money mindset, including dealing with mental blocks, on a consistent basis. Learn about how to create and use habits to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:11 AM
73

Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 05:31 AM
411

This man literally spent years working to bring his wife over from Afghanistan and when shit went sideways he traveled BACK there and spent weeks sharing her danger until he was able to get them both out. And he still made sure her face is not visible on public pictures to keep her safe. I'm actually impressed with a guy, for once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 04:33 AM
12

Nope. Having that energy in your life is going to drive HVM away. Also, don't reward LVM with sex or attention or they have no incentive to change. Also also, I suggest you re-read the handbook because this is a very frustrating post to read here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 12:38 AM
22

women-only food delivery services. Nice idea, but you know alllll the scrotes would start using it and harassing the delivery women :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 05:30 PM
8

He may be thinking that you'd want to live with him first to make sure it's safe before marrying, given your past marriage. It's hard to give advice to people I don't know personally, but if you feel he's consistently making an effort to show you love, respect, attention, escalating the relationship then it is probably okay to keep going and see where it leads. If he presses about moving in, maybe just say, why? And see what his thought process is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 06:28 PM
16

What if someday relatively soon we migrated supply chains into a sort of web outside our atmosphere? This is not feasible due to the belt of space trash. Before long we won't be able to send anything up there without it getting dashed to pieces. All those 5g satellites are gonna give us maybe another 50 years of great internet and then it's back to radio and land lines for communicating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:45 AM
2

This makes the horse girl less available for last minute plans he might want to sneak in on you. And any activity he proposes needs to be at least as good as mucking a box stall or grooming, right Hahaha so true!!! Why is it that anywhere else flies freak me out but when I'm tacking up or mucking out I don't really care?? I love everything you said, 100% agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:17 PM
6

I can try, haha! For starters, horses are prey animals and humans are omnivores and so they interact with us based on knowing we can hurt them, but are also generally the source of food and scritches. Wildlife researchers used to be puzzled at how, when not hungry, predators would often stroll through a herd of their usual prey and the animals would not freak out – it was body language. As a human, I have to be aware that if I become stiff and slow and deliberate (like stalking prey) that that w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:12 PM
17

Yeah, I started keeping an eye on red pill stuff more than 10 years ago so as to weed them out and I remember an article on return of k*ngs as well as some others less distinctly. Also, lots and lots of comments. They were predominantly butthurt over the money and time she would spend on her horses, instead of on him, and apparently had the sense to realize you can't make a horsecrazy woman into a not horsecrazy woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 07:10 PM
8

I am halfway torn between getting her a horse to keep her alive and wanting to ride and getting her a pony so she will learn to pay attention faster. Hahaha! She might be the perfect age for a Caspian! I don't know how familiar you are with this tiny, very ancient, endangered horse breed (usually about 11 hh) but there are AMAZING with kids, super cute, and surprisingly affordable (like around $1000 from what I've seen).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:40 AM
9

lolol well as a redhead human with similar stereotypes, I like me some chestnut mares! In solidarity haha. But yeah as long as I let them think about things I have great luck, it's the minis of any color that tend to cause a ruckus in my experience. They are toooo smart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:52 AM
200

Right on, I always love talking about this! I have owned multiple horses and used to be a professional in the horse world and can't remember a time when I did not love horses. Currently not able to spend much time with them, but hope to move next year and get back into the whole thing. I 100% agree it's a great scene for girls and women. For one, red piller/manosphere idiots warn each other to avoid horse women due to basically us having a different focus than them, haha. For another, even guys …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:44 AM
8

I hate it but 100% agree. I used to try to toe the party line re gay people and abortion but secretly always felt bad for gay people and thought abortion seemed reasonable in some circumstances. I always love animals and wasn't super social. As an adult, I'm no longer Christian or conservative but my base personality hasn't really changed. Still love animals, ambitious, homebody, don't understand harassing people for harmless differences, still support abortion, just openly now. I can't really c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 04:17 AM
142

Aww! Also note how having been with seemingly an HVM all this time, she looks about 70 instead of late 80s/90s, her probable actual age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/21 05:09 PM
2

Great post! I also love the Panzi Foundation, been doing innovative surgeries for decades to repair women damaged by rape as a result of war. Have treated thousands and thousands (sadly) of women. They also train doctors in their techniques. https://panzifoundation.org P.S. Oh Medusa if you could pm me at some point I also have some expertise on a topic that I could offer, but privately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/21 04:00 AM
179

What the hell, the way he's growling really sounds like he wants to kill her. I feel so bad for her, this is going to leave a mental scar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:48 PM
1

Me too, mostly I thought 90s men wore pleated khakis, Hawaiian shirts, and talked about sports. I don't remember a whole lot of remarkableness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:05 AM
18

Only if he was paying for someone's cancer treatment who didn't have insurance. Any other reason most likely boils down to him being extremely entitled and/or having a bad news personality disorder or POSSIBLY having some sort of brain injury that interferes dramatically with executive function. Basically, don't trust him for anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 01:15 AM
78

Everyone should apply and have their project be about the value and dignity of women and how to curb male violence against us, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 05:29 PM
55

OK wow, that true crime info is really really fascinating. I did not expect that correlation at all, but offer myself as another anecdote - I've never been into true crime, at all, gory stuff grosses me out way too much so I try to avoid almost all violence (the extent of what I watch is like Miss Marple level, usually), and I also tended to be oblivious to just how sinister many men are for way too long into my adulthood. I also have always a. walked very confidently b. somehow always been inti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:32 PM
46

100% agree! Also, for anyone intimidated by learning about investments, etc., you can subscribe to feeds and newsletters and learn in a casual fashion for a while. You'll pick up more than you would imagine and gain confidence to really dive in at some point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 11:11 PM
40

I read once that the people in hunter gatherer societies who supplied the most calories per day were usually the grandmas - lolol, grannies have been feeding us forever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:16 AM
46

Yeah, so much of what men do causes just WTF??? I don't even know what else to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 09:37 PM
62

I mean, that's not to say I don't have sympathy for losing a child, but it's obvious that all he is doing is reacting and not dealing with his trauma. I'm not even sure he cared at all, though. The stuff I've seen made it look like he was just mad at his ex wife for the loss and for grieving the loss. He's such a complete and utter dirtbag, ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:38 PM
174

I find myself agreeing with Deb Cooper about having no unsupervised males around young girls, not ever, not even in the periphery of the family. My mother basically followed that rule. I was hardly even around uncles or grandfathers unsupervised. It ruffled a lot of feathers every time she wouldn't let x family friend drive me home from an event, etc... but I was never molested!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 03:11 AM
15

Awww :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 08:43 PM
3

I believe so, like a Norwegian one. They also have a website :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 04:04 PM
36

Interestingly, the Gulabi Gang in India is the only group of female vigilantes that I am aware of. They have been active for years and years now, beating up rapists and child molesters that the police allow to roam free, and somehow they don't seem to ever turn into a shitshow the way male vigilantes do - they are targeted, effective, and restrained. This dude is of course purely projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:41 AM
50

NVM want to carve themselves into their prey. They long for being the first and therefore look for a blank slate. Fake being that blank slate when you want them to show you their true colors. 100% true and also you are a genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:17 AM
55

I used to think this way too but looking back... my fundie autistic mother actually tried very hard to raise loving, hard working, "Christian feminist" boys. There were so many other influences on them though. Two are absolute shithole libfem porn addicts, 1 is a fundie who might actually not watch porn but lives a very limited and low energy life, and 1 is just becoming an adult but I have good hopes for him - he's gay though. Meanwhile mil is pickme supreme and raised 2 boys, 1 a weak alcoholi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:03 PM
22

Haha let's be friends!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 09:05 PM
201

Yeah, so much for "men are protectors." They should have stayed and tried to get their families out over the mountains. Or stayed and fought like in that one valley.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 08:40 PM
105

UGH. I KNEW from Tara Reade and other stuff that biden hates women, but I am incensed at just how much he and other men hate us. I thought trump was bad, but the subtly exuberant "fuck you" to women from so-called "good, liberal" scrotes around the world is radicalizing me to a level I never thought possible. Almost ALL men want to decrease or entirely remove our rights and we need to act in accordance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 08:39 PM
72

Yeah, the same thing with Venezuela, men still bringing babies into a hard hard world the last TWENTY years there and then often going poof into thin air, leaving the mother and grandmother to try to raise the poor child. It's so easy NOT to ejaculate into a vagina, they could do so many other things, but nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 04:19 AM
122

I think this article is a good example of why fds boundaries are so important and why liberal feminism is so damaging. I was reading through it thinking "I guess this is a decent if basic intro to incels, but why so much libfem ideology spilling out the seams?" Then I saw the author's name and it triggered a memory. There was a whole scandal where it turned out her parents were human traffickers and she just made excuses for them and lied about it. https://historicly.substack.com/p/trick-mirror-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:08 AM
3

Shortly after her arrest, this very famous account maxwellhill was noticed to have stopped posting. The account was well known for posting news stories CONSTANTLY, but people realized not stories about epstein or pedophilia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 07:57 PM
3

maxwellhill, I believe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 07:56 PM
14

Yeah, the last few years have been quite painful realizing how many family members even have me pegged into a "tough, strong, mule of the family" role and just take take take from me. Even if I tell people outright that I am really suffering from x, they won't help or even really give sympathy, just look at me kind of blankly like "This does not compute." My husband and my sister reliably care for and about me. All my other family members, not so much. I hate realizing that. I'm so tired of havi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:00 AM
12

I recommend all women who think they might have endometriosis to join Nancy's Nook on FB, it has the LATEST most cutting edge information rather than the common, ineffective suggestions most doctors offer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:28 PM
5

I suggest taking chewable meds rather than dissolving regular tablets - you can get the same amount of medication but without unpredictable effects from dissolving something that should be swallowed. And yes, I totally feel this whole post from OP, ugh, I used to get migraines and vomit from the cramps and just be limply draped on the tub for hours every month. SO glad it got better as I got older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:27 PM
58

I read somewhere once that often women with severe food allergies end up with great men because just the effort required to eat with us weeds out a lot of losers! And yes, husband is very good about checking labels and asking questions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 01:05 AM
2

Yeah a lot fewer men historically got to reproduce, due to war and things like eunuchs, which were a horrific part of many societies. That is another aspect of male cruelty to men. It was very tragic, but not women's fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:53 PM
15

Haha I love her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:54 AM
14

Red pillers got organized over the past 20 years and that has made them way more virulent, but the ideas have always been around, it's just standard issue patriarchy toxicity. Patriarchy shifts and changes itself all the time, waxing and waning, and right now it's definitely waxing. We need to be extremely smart and prepared to fight back, which is why FDS is so important, as is female solidarity and support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:17 AM
37

There's a LOT of tea on him. Blindgossip was one of the earlier sites to report things that later turned out to be true, like him being high as a kite and angry at Amber Heard so when he cut off the tip of his finger (I think while smashing glassware, could be wrong) he started writing hateful messages (EDIT: With the blood) to her on walls and stuff. And the way he talked about her to his friends makes your eyes bleed, I could not tolerate reading more than a couple paragraphs. There's so much …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 09:03 PM
30

aren't part of a fundamentalist religious group. In my experience those are some of the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:14 PM
62

Woot! I love all these stories!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 03:53 AM
35

So cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:07 AM
753

Haha I love it! Husband has at times been running errands and I've texted him to add another thing to the list I need and he texts back "already got it." True luxury having needs and wants anticipated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:51 PM
155

Since I was a child reading the Anne of Green Gables books I have wanted to age like Miss Lavendar: "She was a little lady with snow-white hair beautifully wavy and thick, and carefully arranged in becoming puffs and coils. Beneath it was an almost girlish face, pink cheeked and sweet lipped, with big soft brown eyes and dimples... actually dimples." There's a lot more about her delightful and imaginative and loving personality and eventually her first love comes back to her, just as crazy about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 03:48 AM
22

EW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 06:55 PM
3

Ha, I never fell for the twilight craze, didn't read the books or watch the movies, BUT reading mark reads twilight did give me a good start to my education on abusive relationship dynamics, as well as lots of laughs, so I guess I have that to thank it for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:56 PM
48

Yeah, no this is a troll for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 01:30 AM
83

Yeah, radical feminists are against it. If a sister offers to carry a baby for her sister, for example, that MIGHT be okay, but otherwise I can't imagine how it's fair to the woman who carries and the baby. Especially considering how often the Baby Buyers will either demand an abortion for a less than optimal situation or abandon child/children randomly after they are born, etc. Biologically, babies are born knowing their mother by smell and there have been studies showing that their heart rate …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 04:41 AM
4

Looks like the proof of work ones are the main problem in re: energy use https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/proof-stake-pos.asp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 08:08 PM
5

Which ones? It's been a minute since I looked into them but I know new ones are coming out all the time. I don't mind if people want to play high risk speculation with things like that as long as they don't hurt the environment and are not used for dark web type stuff more easily than regular money, which I know the fbi and irs have figured out how to track ethereum and bitcoin and others quite easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 07:08 PM
9

I don't recommend anyone participate in cryptocurrency - I know that's an unpopular thing to say, but it uses ENORMOUS amounts of electricity and is accelerating the pace of climate change. There is nothing moral or high value about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 06:31 PM
2

I love this series so much! Also, I like how Tolkien wrote MULTIPLE courageous women who insisted on disguising themselves so they could go into war - he wasn't one of those thinking women preferred to be passive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:29 AM
7

I agree to use your anger. If you're not feeling anger but are instead lingering on hopeless love type feelings, I suggest you pour it all into writing an "ultimate love story" involving him as the hero. You can't change his actual character, though you can make him go to therapy in the story. I guarantee you after writing 20,000 words you're either going to be sick of the thought of him OR you'll be absorbed in a new hobby/career path as a writer. This idea occurred to me years ago when I was t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 06:30 PM
16

Guys who say that have a deficit of love and human empathy. Things like Vasalgel are EXTREMELY effective and without side effects and quickly reversible, so if they get a woman pregnant by some carelessness or miracle, they had more options to prevent it than at any time in history. If they are too broke/not ready yet such that the small chance of getting someone pregnant is too scary for them, they need to not have sex/have outercourse only. If they can't do that, and their girlfriend gets preg…
/r/askFDS12/07/21 04:55 AM
86

This is the second or third story I've heard about him acting this principled and courageous. He sounds like a genuine HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:48 PM
26

The last time I was on online dating was when Game of Thrones was super popular so you couldn't help hearing about it all the time. It sounded dreadful. I specifically put on my profile that I liked fantasy but more Tolkien rather than GOT... interestingly several seemingly high value men contacted me specifically about that detail, telling me how much they agreed that GOT squicked them out/was stupid etc. My eventual husband actually mentioned it in I think his first message. A lot of research …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:31 AM
43

IMO (don't know the official FDS rule) game of thrones is extremely low value as the violence is gratuitous and constant and also there is so much misogyny. I've seen some studies saying our brains can't tell the difference between on screen violence and really seeing it, in which case most of us have "seen" tens of thousands of murders. That's more than an old time general or something. Erotica, romance stories etc. don't seem to affect people the way porn does as far as I know, and also do not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:13 AM
3

People laugh when they hear i want cats instead of marriage and even more when i say i want a sheep Sheep are so cute and there are so many awesome varieties - plus they are great at maintaining lawns at an even length! I only suggest you get two as they need company. Shetlands are cute and Ouessants are only about 18" tall!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:34 PM
28

Aww, what an awesome man he was!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 02:18 PM
100

Exactly what I was thinking. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:29 AM
22

So she thinks that men are just rape-machines that can't control themselves? The only thing keeping us safe from these monsters is sex workers? Yeah, the only thing that viewpoint promotes is a reverse Taliban where the men are strictly controlled and kept on leashes. I still hold hope that they are just making excuses and there aren't really THAT many beastly men with no control over themselves. I often remind myself of all the good and decent-ish guys I know after I read here, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:20 AM
499

thank you, scary, powerful internet women Haha I love that title for us! I also used to be super pickme and it's been a long process but it's so worth it to deconstruct that and find your own path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:59 AM
8

I learned something new, very cool to know the name you guys call yourselves! In America a lot of times they ask for ancestry in order for the government to track if companies are being fair and following anti discrimination laws.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 05:16 PM
37

Btw PLEASE in the comments below write some red flags you think he may have had and I’ll reply “bingo!“ If you got one. 🚩 What an original idea! I bet any time you tried to confront him he'd pretend he didn't know he was doing anything wrong, didn't know it bothered you, pretend he was sooooo sorry, but then would go right back to doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 12:47 AM
8

I'm glad you liked it, it's hard to describe how adorable and heartfelt the whole thing was. And yeah, he's very close to her and to my littlest brother, as well as my mom. I loved hearing them argue - couldn't quite hear the words because I was downstairs but it was very animated, and I think he was sweating from concentration when they came down. My family has plenty of issues but he really did adopt them, and even my ancient grandparents love him and remember his existence enough to ask about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 04:04 AM
18

First, the proposal itself was not a surprise though the date was. A cherished part of the story is I had sent my sister links to the styles of rings I liked (different stone than diamond, for example), and she came over to pick one out with him online. They were arguing vociferously but happily for hours and it was so cute - they were determined to get The Perfect Ring. On the day of, he took me to the place he first told me he loved me, up in the mountains in the evening. I knew what was happe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:07 AM
30

Oh my gosh! So cute, I wish them a very happy life! Brings back good memories...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 01:18 AM
13

Oh wow, I'm going to have to read her now! I love how incisive she is, but it's also annoying to be reminded that scrotes in their different patterns have been around since time immemorial. I recognized every single type she was talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 08:13 PM
104

I learned to stonewall as a kid because my dad would criticize me so much and there was no way for me to win. The least painful thing to do was be invisible, not look at him, and barely respond if he talked to me. Not healthy as an adult, of course. I'd been working on that even before meeting my husband but he has been a huge help in that because he can sense when I get mad and before I have a chance to develop a big grudge he'll be like "What's wrong???" It's kind of amazing how helpful that h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:03 PM
3

I've seen quite a few articles in men's magazines talk about how they try really hard to seem tough and over it right away and it usually hits them months later, by which time the ex gf is already truly over him while he pines for her. Regardless, take care of yourself, including talking about it obsessively with your close friends if you need to, and trust that you will be happy someday that you got rid of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 04:15 PM
33

Yes, women need to start invading the justice system en masse and becoming judges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 11:45 PM
2

“He calls out men when they are exhibiting LV behaviors.” Wow. You’ve landed a rare one. Congrats. It is rare, but there are at least two of them - I grabbed one off the Integrity Tree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 04:38 AM
2

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you're married to a severe fundamentalist. That is a true Hell on Earth. My father was similar, didn't want us to say things were awesome because we should be in awe of God only, stuff like that. I no longer talk to him. Men like that have no humility and are as the Pharisees, tithing their herbs while refusing to love their neighbors. I no longer believe in the supernatural, but the Bible says people will identify Christians by their love and he is not running on lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:40 AM
2

I wanted to transition to floor sleeping/sleeping on a hard surface for the nightly "massage" benefits of the hardness against bones and muscle, which also helps realign bones (used to have rib displacement pretty bad). Have tried many intermediate steps, finally discovered that for me the best solution right now is a foam mattress pad with a feather topper above it. I'm the picky sleeper, husband has an easy time adapting to a wide variety of things. I was inspired to do it by the Nutritious Mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:41 PM
26

FARAMIR, swoon! And I look forward to the next installment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:07 AM
178

OMG! I like how they called out Reddit (#Reddithateswomen)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:36 AM
6

My kind of people :) I've headed in the #furniturefree direction the last few years due to wanting to incorporate more movement in my life, but have to have a desk for work and found one without flame retardants pretty cheap from Walmart. If we were still using mattresses I'd probably go with an Avocado one and eventually I'd like to replace the carpet with either hardwood or tile with rugs on top. I also don't buy regular paint for the walls and prefer Milk paint for painting. It's nice how man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:39 AM
8

Kapok! Cotton! Alpaca! Hemp! Don't worry, there is plenty for you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:19 AM
29

Mineral makeup and natural soaps are where it's at. I've read before that women can absorb up to 5 POUNDS of cosmetic products through their skin every year, ugh. Add to that the flame retardant PFAS in furniture and carpets and we're all weighed down with chemical loads for our bodies to try to handle. (BTW, flame retardants are only a thing because plastic materials burn so fast - wool blankets and a wool mattress and wooden bed frame, wooden house, etc. can take 20 minutes to reach flashover …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:20 PM
12

Then we cordially invite you to Die Mad on Rapist Island! We have many amazing amenities, like our famous fighting pits full of pedophiles bareknuckle boxing! Shithole dwellings that are never cleaned because there's no one to clean up after you, because how could anyone expect you to do it yourself? Our incredible "Not All Men" choir! Our penthouse Gaslight Lounge, where that isn't what you ordered, you're crazy, and also too sensitive because it was obviously a joke! And don't forget about our…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:47 PM
10

I love her so much 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:16 PM
50

I don't understand why hospitals are allowing scrotes to bring in gaming equipment. Like wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:37 AM
7

Honestly, swinging makes the most sense, since it’s a couple-based activity. Yeah, that lifestyle would not be for me, but one does hear stories of people discovering their grandparents were swingers, and the couple seemed to be happy together until death, whereas I have yet to hear of any poly relationships that stay together that long, let alone happily. I think that many emotional connections of the type that come with romantic relationships are just too hard to sustain. The rest of your post…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:57 AM
48

Yeah, it sucks. I have cut off my dad 100%, which I'd been wanting to do for years and was a HUGE relief, but I've also mostly cut off a brother, which I didn't want to but realized was necessary, and have lost respect for many other male relatives. On the other hand, my mom finally escaped my dad after years of trying, partly due to hearing me talk about FDS, so that was good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:48 AM
2

It does make sense. It's interesting that so many of us share these feelings! I thought there would be far less of us out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 11:11 PM
3

That's good! I much earlier was able to be okay with my "intensity" when it came to guys, I just forced myself to be proud of it. I need to do that with female friends too, but I haven't achieved it yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:20 PM
3

Heheh yeah the hours I've spent listening to complaints about guys. It's funny too because we enjoy the serious talk, so what's wrong with it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:19 PM
9

you'd think all these supposedly wise religious elders would have figured it out over a few millennia, Yeah, and it's even more insidious than just having victims to abuse. It's about continuing the cycle. I saw this firsthand with various friends who started rebelling HARD in their late teens. Some of them moved out and started doing drugs and sleeping around, trying to assert some sort of independence. They were incredibly naive and unable to make good decisions due to how sheltered they had b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:18 PM
12

Not sure what you describe is intense or eccentric. I do think part of why I've been told this about myself really is the area where I live, one where most of the people who have ambitions leave asap for college. It sounds like we'd have a great time talking if we met irl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:41 AM
36

I scare some people away by speaking up on this stuff so often Yeah it's like what is the balance, I HAVE to be able to speak about my inner life sometimes to my friends, but a lot of time people can't handle very much. I need to find more intense people like you and I are to make friends with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:23 PM
101

I grew up in the same culture he did and have friends who know the Duggars personally. It's a very very sick mindset. In that environment, everyone is obsessed with sex, which you either can't have or should be having constantly. Consent is not part of sexual ethics, either - it's about straight sex in marriage, which is basically at the behest of the man. If he wants it three times a day his wife should give it to him and always be enthusiastic, but if he only wants it once a month it's kind of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:16 PM
142

I have complicated feelings about it. I am very happy being essentially a hermit and always have been happy enough with that lifestyle that I have a hard time making friends simply because I prefer all the little projects I have going on at home, so it feels like a sacrifice to go out. Obviously, quarantine was a breeze for me. BUT, I do get FOMO sometimes and am craving more female friends as I get older, plus I've realized the importance of networking when it comes to career. I am planning to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 08:24 PM
7

You are hilarious!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:19 PM
12

Wow, I didn't know those devices existed. Cool...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:54 PM
43

I once sat on a plane with a husky dude who tried to manspread and take up all of the armrest and more as well as my foot space. I was not in a good mood so I silently fought back. I'm pretty strong, so I claimed my half of the space, even though I hated touching him, and forced him to spread into the aisle space instead of taking my space. I could tell he was angry about it, he kept trying to push against me, but it wasn't like he needed my space AND I was in the middle and already squished. Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:23 PM
2

They hate joy, they hate flavor, they hate women... of course they hate emojis 💅 Haha my sister and I love sending long strings of emojis to each other loosely related to whatever we were talking about as our sort of "goodbye." It just makes life more fun! 🎇 ✨ 🎈 🎉 🎊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:24 AM
10

Ohmigosh that is so interesting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:00 AM
22

Good job you, glad you are safe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:26 AM
40

Also, what scrote would put this on a ride? If a ride is scaring a passenger, the operator should stop and let the person off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:24 AM
10

What a terrible scrote! I feel bad for you and please block and delete scrotes like this at the first sign in the future. Sadly, I do not have high hopes for the church meeting - church leaders are very good at pretending they care and then pulling the rug out from under victims of abuse, instead supporting the abuser. If they don't display extremely HV behavior then I suggest leaving the church instantly and leaving reviews up online to warn people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:23 AM
59

It's just a token gesture they let the guys do to feel involved. I hope at least nowadays they let the placenta finish pumping blood into the baby before cutting the cord... my mom studied midwifery and was always annoyed at premature cord cuttings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:36 AM
261

Good grief, scrotes in the old days refused to accompany their wives giving birth and now they want to make it about them. Eyeroll, whatever the pregnant woman wants she should get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:08 AM
135

I was raised as a good fundie homeschool daughter by one of these idiots. My mother was basically the perfect trad wife. And yes, my father absolutely was not satisfied with that and got totally addicted to porn, tried to persuade my mother to be less fundie (ie abuse her into doing things she was not comfortable with), and acts totally shocked that she left him and none of his kids want to talk to him anymore. I don't trust any guy who is too vehement about being traditional or virtuous or what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 09:12 PM
7

Yeah this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:11 PM
37

Damn, in memory of the moms!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:49 PM
91

Uh, are they really a different species? Like I'm constantly shocked at how pathetic so many scrotes are... I've done that sort of thing, proactively looking out for someone I have no romantic interest in, SO MANY times in my life. It's just part of what makes civilization work. I'm really gobsmacked that this is how they go through life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 06:46 PM
15

Congrats!|
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:22 AM
20

The aggression is out of control where I live. I hardly ever leave my house since the pandemic started, but I also avoid going into my front yard now unless it's at dawn or after dark at night due to the inevitable harassment - old thumbhead neighbors will literally see me and come out of their houses just to walk past and be mean. I've got some car fanatic neighbors who are just terrible, they spend all their time driving their various fancy tricked out vehicles around the neighborhood blasting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 07:32 PM
30

I agree, radical feminism for a long time was kept alive primarily by lesbians, as far as I can tell, and while we owe them a debt, it really made it hard to embrace the ideas when there was also an undercurrent of "attraction to men is shameful/not understandable." It's better to have a place that acknowledges the conundrum of being attracted to the oppressors and talks about how to honestly deal with/mitigate/avoid the oppression. It is not morally wrong to wish for a cozy little family with b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:38 PM
20

I'm glad she got away from this serial-killer-vibes mega scrote. I hope she stays safe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:09 PM
4

Mine was online dating, but going on 8 years ago when things were apparently better online (though already dismal). I think I went through about 2000 profiles before finding him, so yeah...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:45 PM
3

Oh boy I don't even want to know why that was so strong in me, too many tangled factors from society and my upbringing to untangle I'm sure, but it took a LOT of work to get over that. I don't even need it so much in fiction anymore, but I remember meeting my now husband and thinking immediately "Oh wow, if this doesn't work out it'll be because I was the stupid one and let him get away," and almost feeling like there was a missing step or something, like shouldn't it be harder, shouldn't I have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:21 AM
7

I know my brain LOVES to pine. It LOVES having an unrequited, unattainable love, just for the beautiful fucking tragedy of it all Haha I TOTALLY know what you mean!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:32 AM
9

difference between wanting sex with a loving and affectionate partner and needing sex because of sexual malnutrition. Dang!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:13 AM
34

"Not only are they [bed frames] costly, they also require construction, which requires emotional fortitude." I cannot EVEN BELIEVE someone could say this with a straight face!!! It reminds me of the scrote roosh talking about "bread science" because he learned to bake bread. What happened to men going into the wilderness and building a whole house, digging a well, planting a garden and hunting? Seriously, someone being intimidated by putting together a bed frame is either very mentally ill or be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:29 AM
1

If we could diagnoses diabetes and PCOS by looking at body shapes, I feel like you're either sea lioning here or else don't understand probabilities and things that are correlated. If something (say a) commonly goes along with b, then it makes sense to look for a more often when you see b. It doesn't mean the appearance of b is an instant diagnosis of a. Nor does it mean that anyone lacking b is automatically free of a. If you're not sea lioning and are interested in the research, look up key wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:46 PM
112

This is excellent advice, I would never have thought of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:17 AM
13

Your shape says nothing about your fertility. Actually, it does. Women with a lot of abdominal fat are likely to have underlying issues like PCOS or diabetes that make them less fertile, as well as more likely to have issues in childbirth. Women with a decent amount of fat in the booty but not waist have slightly healthier and smarter children. This is well researched. Otherwise, I agree with your comment about Jeff Bezos and financial comfort vs wealth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:33 PM
58

No, because Reddit has purged them. I recommend Ovarit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:37 PM
31

What? They are angry at that and not at the rest of the awful stuff in this show I can only read about?????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:07 PM
7

This is a very interesting topic with a lot more hope than it sounds - way too much info to get into here, but I recommend reading everything Kelly Bowman has written on the pelvic floor, squatting, the psoas muscle.... I've been slowly implementing her advice for the last 5 years and it's really improved my health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:48 PM
62

I actually think this is one of the reasons they keep pushing for nudes and grooming girls to get into OF - then they can keep those women out of politics due to her fear of having leaks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:32 PM
25

I miss that split second when “sex positivity” meant women shouldn’t be shamed for having and enjoying sex. Me too! It was such a relief coming out of Purity Culture to that and then bam! It changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:31 PM
25

Just fyi, the super straight thing that was going around recently was about a topic that I cannot discuss on here. It was a satirical thing to bring awareness to that issue. Otherwise, I agree with what you are saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 04:25 PM
0

My takeaway is he said men respect other men as humans out of fear of violence. Once again, widespread Gulabi Gangs seem to be the solution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:25 PM
54

Wow, she deserves a medal. What a woman and what a mother!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:04 AM
56

Sorry to hear about him. My father is also anti-feminist, and raised us super fundie conservative and isolated. My life has gotten DRASTICALLY better since I cut him off entirely less than a year ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:20 PM
4

I forgot how to feel anger That is tricky! Maybe regularly checking in with yourself to see if you're being treated in a way that you'd be happy for a dear friend to be treated could help? That ex sounds absolutely terrible, I'm sorry you had to deal with such a manipulative POS! I hope you can find your anger and embrace it - and find lots of happiness too, of course!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:17 PM
2

I used to cry in rage whenever I tried to release anger. It was SO frustrating! I think I used to do visualization, imagining myself setting boundaries and expressing my anger, which helped a lot. I must give credit to my husband, though, who is actually better at social stuff than I am - whenever we have a fight start, he notices before I have a chance to steep in my anger and is like "Let's address this!" He kinda thinks arguing (i.e. bickering) is fun/hot, so I've become very open and easy wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:16 PM
9

Yup. My family-related depression and anxiety disappeared when I started being angry and having boundaries. My society-related depression and anxiety constantly recurs, so I constantly do little actions to make the world better, which then makes me happy again. I've learned to really embrace anger and use it as a fuel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:39 AM
7

Good for you! That's a hard struggle just to get on it and I hope the peace of mind and rest are kind to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:14 AM
7

has created a generation of lost overgrown boys. exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:16 PM
127

It's interesting because if you look at photos from 100 years ago, there are a lot of guys draped casually over each other on their work sites, all looking relaxed and cheerful and proud of their work. For years I've joked around with my husband about how to "fix" men and he jokes my suggestions all boil down to gulag, but basically I believe men nowadays are suffering a huge amount mentally due to: Not being connected to nature. Not having concrete results to their jobs. Being stressed and over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:51 AM
26

lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:10 AM
38

Yes. My mom, former bff, and almost all the women I knew growing up were in this lifestyle thinking it would give them loving, faithful husbands who cared about their children. Spoiler: The ACTUAL result is so bad that I have never seen even ONE of these marriages that I could tolerate, let alone envy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:19 PM
5

I love everything about this post, congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:49 PM
28

if 5 men are abusers/rapists and 10 are not yet they are not doing anything about it Yeah. The ONLY men us women should be socializing with in any way are the men who are brave enough to stand up against each other. Maybe then society would really change. I've been increasingly living by this rule and it's amazing how much nicer life is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:41 PM
119

I suggest is signing up at as many temp firms as possible. I totally agree, they are a GREAT resource. And welcome to FDS, OP, that is exactly why I'm against sex work - I believe every woman deserves far better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:09 PM
3

Interesting! That sounds plausible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:59 AM
7

You're my HERO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:27 AM
18

Hopefully others were lying for attention like I was, because looking back, it was horrifying - those girls were like 12 years old. Yikes. In the 1800s girls often still played with dolls when they were 16.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 08:31 PM
9

ahahaha yeah! I used to dry my mare with TOWELS in case the wetness was making her itchy. Then, while she was still tied, I'd frantically take photos before turning her loose because no matter what, she would go roll first thing! No mercy on me :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:18 AM
10

Yeah, oddly the thing I dislike the most about him, though far from the most objectionable really, is that all these scrotes are like "OMG, he told me to clean my room and it changed my life!11!!!!" And you KNOW their mother told them to clean their room 1000 billion times and they hated her for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:56 AM
11

True, you would have to mandate getting it re-done every 10 years...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:31 AM
41

LVMs would essentially be bred out of existence within a generation. This would be so great. Ironically, it's exactly the thing certain segments of the scrotosphere used to pitch fits about, that their mother had not been selective enough and that women in general were not selective enough, thus causing them to be born inferior in whatever way they were mad about. SO we'd only be doing them a favor! Right?....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:11 AM
14

OMG that's amazing! I'd trade most of the cats for horses, but I love this update on her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:52 AM
36

Yeah, crybullies are absolutely ruining public life and community. Edit: Meant to write crybullies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:00 PM
25

Totally agree - except Vasalgel is even easier!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 08:00 PM
6

Thomas Sankara. Oh yeah, he was so amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:17 AM
2

Yes, and this is true throughout life. There have even been times related to horses where I had a bad feeling but went riding/did x chore anyway and ended up getting hurt. The best things that have happened thanks to listening to my intuition are 1. grabbing my husband 2. going for a job I didn't think I wanted but felt I should go for 3. buying a house. At that point I already knew I needed to listen to my gut so as well as research I "listened" to how each house made me feel. VERY happy with t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 10:20 PM
6

Oh yeah, many cut men still don't need a death grip, I was just saying how most uncircumcised men don't choke it that hard because they still have all the nerve endings and protective skin they were born with, so they can still feel all the pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:25 PM
12

I find circumcised penis aesthetically superior and when I have a son he will have this. That is sad. Removing the foreskin removes a ton of nerves, causes the tip of the penis to be exposed and dry all the time when it shouldn't be, making men use deathgrip/jackhammer in order to get off, increases the prevalence of ED in later life, and is also not ethically your call to make. Your child's body is only yours to steward as they grow, not to make unnecessary irreversible decisions for them based…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:19 PM
13

Male circumcision doesn’t affect pleasure. It does, actually - for both partners. It's not as terrible as FGM, but it's not justifiable to routinely do to little boys, either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:15 PM
44

Hibo Wardere, she's amazing and her story is so so infuriating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:50 PM
3

"if you're worried about boys, you should probably spend more time doing (a hobby that the kid likes) When I was a kid, some of my friend's parents would get them horses to help keep them out of trouble. I was SOOOO jealous of those friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:39 PM
5

This is true of everything Amazon (except the books, I guess) and most of the big tech companies in general. I hate living in a dystopia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:36 AM
8

Yeah, I think the hypothyroidism for me is because of the damage celiac did. People often don't realize that infectious diseases can also mess us up like that - my aunt got CFS in her 30s and gained a LOT of weight because of the effects of the disease. When she was literally on her deathbed 30 years later my dad (her brother) told me privately he "didn't understand why she didn't lose weight, because probably all her health issues would go away if she did, right?" I was over his shit by then an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:47 AM
10

Yeah, I definitely had trauma that contributed to my eating too much sugar, but the biggest factors have turned out to be celiac which kept me literally starving until I discovered it. Things got waaaaay better when I went gluten free, and then even better when I started targeting my liver health. My appetite is completely normalized now, and having trauma triggered does not re-trigger cravings. That said, it all works together - going no contact with my abusive dad after getting my mom away fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:54 AM
3

Your brother picked up the idea in kindergarten or school, from friends or their parents... it is entirely normal. Which, again, means it's not really the mother's fault the way Alice Miller would suggest. It's very very hard if not impossible to prevent children from getting those types of messages from society. One article that was very thought provoking to me a few years ago was https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/03/parenting-doesnt-matter-that-muchas-long-as-you-dont-do-anything-super-wei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 08:50 PM
20

Haha yeah... I was thinking about doing the Wish type wedding dress, then I tried on dresses in real bridal shops and was like!!! Getting a $1000+ dress and having it tailored to fit perfectly was an amazing experience that still makes me smile all the time. Also, the appointments at the seamstress were so fun, somehow - she was this really nice and extremely skilled older lady who did amazing things with the lace and had cards all over from her customers. I felt so wonderful in my wedding dress…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:43 PM
26

Yeah, I remember this young French guy who may have had a crush on me. He was very charming and fit and looked good, too. But he was about a dozen years younger than me and I just wanted to pat him on the head and give him advice on something. He was adorable - but I had the same feeling you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:36 AM
21

I'm not a huge fan of Miller as her books seem to end up blaming parents more than is reasonable, especially mothers. A lot of research since has shown that even things like how much adults read is way more related to genetics than to upbringing - which I guess you could blame the parents for that, but it's not about how they tried to raise their kids. My mother, before she went super fundie, tried hard to raise my older brother in a feminist way. She bought him a baby doll to teach him to be ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:09 PM
7

out there as a complete aside that more relationships "lowers" the number of "sexually frustrated" men committing random, violent crimes Speaking from an anthropology background: marriage lowers male offending rates. Getting laid while single does not. I'm betting it also has something to do with having children. We know that babies lower their father's testosterone for something like 9 months after the birth, so that combined with hopefully feeling love for the baby and needing to make sure it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 07:30 PM
2

I used to live in a mountainous place where you literally had to take a highway to get anywhere. So no bikes, and no buses at all. If bikes had been possible, I would have gotten an e bike so the hills would be easy. Those are only a few hundred dollars, but then we moved to a flat area so haven't bought one yet. Like you, I highly resent the amount of money and time cars demand!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 06:05 PM
81

lololol that's awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 09:48 PM
16

Um, why is this pickme acting like she is an expert on picking men? She's already divorced and apparently it was so bad she wasn't planning on ever dating again. Doesn't sound like going for ugly guys has worked for her in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:31 PM
40

Haha I love these
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:11 PM
49

Yeah, you never know who is using it on purpose. I sold my car and use the buses out of principle/convenience but my income is higher now than when I had the car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:25 PM
27

Yeah, climate collapse makes me suicidal when I think about it too much. It's still reversible right now, but soon won't be. The only thing that makes me feel better about it is realizing that a. it will put an end to the suffering that humans, no mostly SCROTES, have been inflicting on all living things since agriculture began and b. I know that in millions of years there will be a different and vibrant ecosystem full of billions of interesting animals again. The sad part is doing things like g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:28 AM
91

I agree. We just barely, in some parts of the world, got the ability to choose our partners, while still being traumatized and shaped by thousands of years of active oppression, especially against opinionated women. I think we've made rapid progress and while it's important to keep telling women they deserve better and don't need a man, there's a line where it ends up blaming women for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:46 AM
63

That is a very old feminist quote :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:25 AM
10

Do you do dressage, jumping? I love how many horse women are on here :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:33 PM
19

When I was a naive younger pickme I could not understand why people had "dead bedrooms". Yup. I used to read romance books and fantasize and envy my friends who were married and had access to sex... and kinda judge them for complaining about it - even though I would not have wanted to have sex with any of the husbands. With time and life experience the lightbulb went on, like "Ooooh, THAT'S why!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:16 PM
14

I totally agree. Instead they invent wild self indulgent "solutions" and get billions in handouts from governments for it (aheeeeem eln msk).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:05 PM
102

And people who refuse to learn from the Humanities can turn into cruel idiots who, for example, think the cure to Earth's problems is just moving a few dozen people to a different planet that is horribly inhospitable and requires constant life support; or that economic systems can be theorized without ever taking kids into account a la ayn rand; or that robotic pets are better and more eco friendly than real pets; or that a God computer in the future will know which of us worked to support it an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:28 AM
58

Yikes, I dont think the main problem here is your jealousy, I think it's the people around you. Twitting you about past mistakes is mean, and making comments about how they could never endure x is othering. A lot of them are probably in denial about abuse they've suffered, but if I were you I'd ditch them and find new friends who are more emotionally mature.
/r/askFDS15/05/21 04:53 AM
73

You’ll never find a more cruel, opinionated body-shamer than the bf or husband of a thin woman. You know, you're right. I remember one woman who used to teach PE before having babies. She and her husband got together because they both liked hiking - but after babies she went from a size 2 to 8 WHILE PREGNANT and she made "jokes" about how fat she was and how her husband wouldn't let her eat cookies anymore. I felt terrible for her - and also very self conscious, as I was size 14 at the time, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:58 AM
70

A lot of the women on the TRP women sub are actually men. They have slipped up in the past and forgotten to log into or out of alt accounts and shown it. The actual women there, well to understand them just read Dworkin's Right Wing Women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:26 AM
262

what the hell, why do they think of so many things I can't even come up with if I tried. Also, these scrotes clearly don't care about damaging their partner for life!!! So many scrotes out there who should never get a chance to reproduce :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:11 AM
3

eeeeeeewwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 07:23 PM
11

I totally agree. It's horrific to have to sit there and force kids to do chores they ignored/purposefully messed up while they whine and moan and move at a glacial pace, but that's one of the most important parts of parenting. That is what you are there for - forcing them into good habits until their brains mature and they are able to motivate themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:59 PM
50

Going to bake a cake shortly while sipping on some mint tea :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:57 PM
15

Glad to see Warren included in this, I was very iffy about her due to lying about POC status but really wanted to support her. Then she stabbed Bernie in the back with a completely obvious lie and that was just enough to keep him from the overwhelming victory he was headed for (then all the other DNC cheating and ratfucking happened in plain view of us all, because he was still winning way more than they wanted). I will never forgive her or any of them for that, but also why was she so DUMB abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:53 PM
7

It's not complicated. I will say though that I think if someone asks their partner to wake them up sexually (not the partner pressuring them to do so) then that is fine, consent-wise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:46 PM
31

Purity culture taught me the greatest gift I could give a future husband was my virginity. It taught me that men were sex robots that thought of nothing but that and yet somehow were also supposed to be in charge of everything. It taught me that women don't have much libido, so my constant desires made me feel like I was some man-like aberration. Because of purity culture and because of the terrible marriages I saw all around, I used to daydream about the way to get the hot sex I wanted - my fav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:55 AM
17

Yikes, I'm glad you're ok!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:06 AM
180

Aww, yeah for so long I thought most families had a lot of tension underneath like mine or outright yelling. I thought most families had at least one person that made other family members anxious when they were around. I thought most married couples were on an endless merry go round of forcing themselves to go on date nights and never looking excited to be around each other. I'm still surprised that husband and I've been together over 7 years and fit the happy family description above. It is pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:04 AM
104

OK I love this whole thing, I hope he's terrified and stays inside from now on since he can't control himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:38 PM
75

"...no, I don't hate you" to which he just BEAMED with pride lololol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:07 PM
9

Congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 08:51 PM
34

This used to be me, literally paralyzed sometimes. That strong of social anxiety does make it hard for guys to approach. I also didn't know the signs a guy liked me, so I thought I was super super ugly. It was a whole different world when I learned how to have more welcoming body language. Most women know these things already, but some of us have to learn them and feel terrible listening to other women complain about all the attention - anyone like that reading, no, you are not ugly and gross, y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:43 PM
11

One cannot form meaningful bonds, or live a meaningful, fulfilling life if they're preoccupied with proving something to others. Yup. This is why I'm anti-consumerist but pro treating yourself to things that you really want, and love spending time on hobbies that relate to healing the environment or getting better relationships. The rat race by design makes us all miserable if we participate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:32 PM
20

Hahaha I gotta look this up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:11 PM
25

I've actually heard that many autistic people have extremely high empathy, it's just that body language and subtle social cues are really difficult and they get overwhelmed easily. A lot of women with autism do get taken advantage of constantly so I'm glad you have learned to put yourself first!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:10 PM
12

Yeah, it would be easier to support "sex work" if at least there was 1. no trafficking and b. every woman who entered could make a couple million in 5 years or less so that she could retire set for life after that. It would still be problematic in so many ways, but the way it is now they are messing up their whole future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:00 PM
15

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:19 PM
134

Women should be able to sue their husbands for this type of cruelty. I 100% agree. I hate this dude with the fire of a thousand suns! I hope she recovers amazingly well and divorces his ass immediately. He deserves to be "divorce raped," although that isn't really a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:32 AM
129

Yup. I stopped trying to Barb the Builder for male family members and only do that for my sister and mom and 1 friend now. It takes a lot of willpower as I learned a lot very painfully and always want to share with people, but I've learned to only give it to those who a. deserve that time and attention from me and b. want it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:04 AM
64

Yeah, there are rare female pedos and I think this is one. CPS should get involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:49 PM
10

I'm no longer a Christian but I did find out some crazy ways the Bible translations were twisted - like eshet chayil which is translated "men of valor" OR "women of virtue." Virtue used to have connotations of power and potency but over the years has come to have only moral meanings to most people, so they never realized that the Proverbs 31 woman is supposed to be BRAVE and STRONG. Or the keeper at home verse in Titus which is actually "guardian of the house" or essentially being in charge of a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:41 PM
53

!!!!!! I didn't even notice that. Oh god my whole body itches now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:19 PM
32

Preach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:42 PM
13

The lOgiCAl sEx. "I'm going to impress men by posting things men like on a dating site where presumably only women are going to see my post."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:23 PM
15

Oh god, I'm so glad I got off OLD before crypto became super popular. Scrotes are so basic, it's like why do they all think their cliches are the funniest most original thing ever? I remember being so bored with their pictures too, like always dead fish, dog, random children, fancy car, abs, hat on so clearly he's balding, pictures are all from weddings because he never takes pics otherwise, and photos where someone has been cropped out, like ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:13 PM
29

"we need to make more scenes" Haha that is a great motto!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:10 PM
49

Yikes yikes yikes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:09 PM
38

Maybe some of them, but I grew up in the fundie homeschool group, which was mostly driven by women who had good intentions like: Wanted to force their husbands to be involved in the family, didn't want to have to both earn money and do all the housework, wanted to give a lot of personal attention to raising their kids, wanted a way of life that would hopefully keep their husbands in love with them by being submissive to him and having the culture around him enforce monogamy, etc. etc. Things wen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:05 PM
10

It's sad, because this is one of the ways abusers isolate their victims from support, but it is very stressful to put up with. I second the recommendations to tell her you only want to focus on having fun together and not talking about him. Maybe tell her once that you are there to support her if she decides to leave, but that it's just too stressful to listen to her talk about him.
/r/askFDS11/05/21 03:55 PM
73

Haha yeah! We do need good cops, so maybe dumb yourself down, make your answers 2x as aggressive, and you can get in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:48 PM
6

lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:48 PM
11

I think it's mostly cultural. Testosterone causes certain personality effects for sure, including greater aggression and risk taking, but if you look at other mammals a lot of the males act sweet and don't take mating for granted, and a decent number try to care for their offspring. Penguins are pretty depraved but even they aren't usually deadbeat dads. In horses, stallions will let the babies walk all over them, the lead mare usually decides where to go each day, and the stallion is prepared t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:42 PM
16

Are there even any non-narcissist/sociopath/psychopath men out there....? There are, but they are almost never single. I think my husband (who I tease is a Chaddy Chad McChaderson because his previous relationships started with girls asking him out) was encouraged by his therapist to start dating again, went online and spruced up his profile, looked through the women available, messaged me, and started talking to me at length. It was like a few days at most. Also of note, his profile had literal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:36 PM
85

He kept texting. Over and over pleading with me to come over and offering me better shifts, more money, etc. This is textbook harassment and for anyone reading this, with that kind of proof you can EASILY win a lawsuit and force that scrote to pay $$$
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:17 PM
168

This is only the amount who will admit to beating their wives! Research has shown police departments screen out people who are too nice, too principled, and too smart and purposefully hire bullies, so I suspect it's more like 75% of cops beat their wives, and even more probably beat their kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:13 PM
5

I don't know, but I think teenagers are usually able to tell the court which parent they'd like to stay with full time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:09 PM
45

Even when women were doing everything right following every single social protocol dressing perfectly from head to toe etc etc we were still being treated like crap and we were still being forced into a corner. Yup. I was raised in Purity Culture and the men there were TERRIBLY abusive and even more entitled. I actually think being a fundie is what ruined my dad over time. He started out semi decent to my mom, even built her a house by hand, but had a lot of trauma that was never addressed and e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:50 PM
9

Yeah, I am as low tech as possible. People have tried to give us smart TVs and were so puzzled when we said no thanks. We want to go even more low tech eventually - plus, anything that lowers the demand for rare earth minerals is good, due to the slavery and bloodshed that the demand causes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:46 AM
16

I strongly recommend starting with the house, as that's making you want to run away. It sounds like it's absolutely worth getting a housecleaner on a regular basis for at least 6 months. As the house gradually gets cleaner, you both can work on getting used to keeping it that way, but for now you need help. Then, I recommend apologizing to him. Have a conversation about all that you've written here, ask for his thoughts, take breaks any time either of you starts getting physically "flooded," and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:34 AM
2

If you have to call him out on the same thing more than twice then dump him. Be realistic about whether the guy is actually trying or not and don't hesitate to be ruthless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:21 PM
11

Exaggerated reactions of happiness or glee, or excessive flattery. And Marilyn Monroe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:52 PM
36

OMG reading this I was torn between intense admiration for you and extreme fear. It made my blood run cold, I'm so glad you got out of there! I hope the rest of your life is boring and peaceful and fulfilling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:51 PM
9

This is an amazing and very valuable post! One of the things that's hardest for us women to wrap our minds around, I think, is how unfixable male hatred of women is. IF they are capable of fixing it, they will fix it on their own and not because of us or ANY type of effort we do. Once I realized that, I cut off family members who showed signs of woman hate and life has gotten SO much better, though I'm still upset that they turned out that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:33 PM
3

Wow, what a wonderful woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:35 PM
22

Day dreaming is a problem for them???? Wow, they really do just want sentient sex dolls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:05 PM
7

so I consistently feel this overwhelming sense of satisfaction and being nurtured. I wonder if that's what guys feel like basically all the time with girlfriends? Or would, if it weren't for gnawing guilt about their own behavior?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:29 PM
4

The period thing is actually valid - it affects everything, from how to diagnose something to medication types and dosages. But it is annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 07:06 PM
10

Exactly. And hey, all those "SWIW is and empowering!" people could promote this instead. Way safer for the women, contributes to society, doesn't impact future job prospects...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 07:01 PM
7

Haha going to use this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:19 PM
3

Great post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 05:55 PM
18

She purposefully wrote it so that every single oppression was something that had actually happened in the world at some point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 05:09 AM
9

This post is like a cold drink of water!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:54 AM
4

:D A lot of people want to feel like they rescued an animal, but that's an ego thing. Buying from a good breeder is rescue on the other side - making it so your pet never has to suffer bad owners and be rescued!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:51 AM
7

Definitely get a pup from a reputable breeder! A good breeder will Screen you Have a guarantee to take the dog back at any point if needed Breed for health, good temperament, and betterment of the breed Be a great resource for you re: training etc Demand drives supply, so the more we buy from good breeders, the higher the percent of dogs will actually be from good breeders and the lower dog suffering will go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:59 AM
5

Sure, here's some links! I don't know why we need to bleed occasionally to get rid of damaging iron instead of having a way of dumping it, but it's probably the reason why menopause raises women's risk of heart rate to about equal that of men, rather than any protective effect of estrogen like they used to think. I think it's cool that men, and women, who are altruistic in this way live longer and better lives :) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9737556/ https://www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/health-s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:09 AM
83

I think this is more addressing libfem onlyfans/camgirls who go around grooming tweens for pimps. We're always told constantly to support sex workers and accused of being evil if we talk about how exploited and abused the majority are - this is a brilliant reversal to expose the damage the industry does to ALL women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 07:30 PM
5

Does your husband donate blood? Giving blood once or twice a year cuts heart disease WAY down, and I mean WAY down for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:56 PM
110

and meanwhile they do all these histrionics about how no man wants to get married, we just jedi mind trick them into proposing, ball and chain, etc etc etc. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:41 PM
1

Swoon... Hehe you do have a type!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:40 PM
30

Boy, she is radiating anger, bless her heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:26 AM
4

Yeah, I still feel bad that I could never get into the Robin Hood show because he was SMOKING in that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:14 AM
19

Oldie but goody Richard Armitage https://forromancereaders.wordpress.com/tag/elizabeth-gaskell/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 08:56 PM
3

I like Scarlet Pimpernel as an HVM, though not sure exactly how realistic :) Prisoner of Zenda. A lot of old cowboy romances by like Zane Grey had, if I remember right, HVM men who cared for and protected the women they carefully courted. Some of Georgette Heyer's heroes (some of them were dreadful rakes i.e. fuccbois that got 'fixed').
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:58 PM
2

It is really enlightening to treat ourself as well as we do others, isn't it? I am consciously able to not over-help nowadays, but I still feel the pull very strongly. Sometimes it practically hurts to keep my mouth shut. Oh well, baby steps....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:49 PM
8

Oh man lightbulb moment... all my friendships used to be therapist-zoning, partly because I have an overactive rescuer complex that I've been working super hard on. It's really hard to fix that tendency, but I hope as I start making new friends after COVID that I can get some HV friendships going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:06 AM
20

Yeah, I didn't watch it until way after it was over. Like, the only character I could bring myself to care about was Monica? But really they all sucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:16 AM
8

Yeah, I have trouble fitting in bc I hate the taste, but have had other vices so not criticizing people who drink. Even butterflies love alcohol, so clearly trying to eliminate it 100% is not going to work. Just, people should have informed consent about the literal poison part of it instead of the propaganda about it helping anything, lol. Meanwhile, my poor liver has had to deal with too much sugar, sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:02 PM
76

Aww, what a lovely man. And yes, my husband has already helped me for years with various chronic health conditions, very patiently. My health has dramatically improved :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:04 PM
31

I do think the reason no fappers go on and on about "superpowers" is they've spent their entire youth and adulthood brain fried from porn and when they experience some balance, like women experience most of the time, it's completely mindblowing to them. Re: Alcohol, it's actually never safe or helpful in any amount. The alcohol industry is doing its best to bury the quite significant cancer risks that every form of alcohol has, and I remember reading a study a couple years ago that showed that t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 07:02 PM
11

I love you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:03 PM
12

It's really hard sometimes to argue with people about such important topics. I used to cry from sheer anger when arguing in person with people in the past, but practice does make it way easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:01 AM
10

Why thank you! I like you too :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:20 PM
28

Bill gates met with Epstein AFTER his past convictions Why does meeting him after Epstein had been convicted of pedophilic crimes mean he's not also a pedo? I am not criticizing you or the other women at the foundation - I am quite sure you work hard to make the world a better place. Doing things like mosquito net distribution for example really is good work. I acknowledge the hard work the employees put in, while stating I think he could do WAY WAY more than he has done, and also including a bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:51 PM
71

Yeah, and all those libfems who say in response that they just want to make it legal and monitored so it's safe don't think about the fact that in a legit business, you're not supposed to discriminate against customers based on sex, race, genes, etc yet so if sex work is just regular work, are prostitutes going to get sued by male family members for refusing to sleep with them? Also, condoms DO NOT protect against all diseases. Nurses are exposed to tons of awful diseases in the course of their …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:42 PM
2

You can actually do this with foster parenting. They will pay a stipend, as well as all healthcare expenses. Especially if you take care of children that are hard to place they will pay for more. It sounds like you'd be good at it also.
/r/askFDS04/05/21 08:20 PM
57

You're welcome! Way too many people simp for rich people and celebrities, but they should be judged only on their character - and only a few can pass that sort of scrutiny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:34 PM
52

Ew, I keep finding out new terrible things about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:33 PM
215

Absolutely. He's a horrible person who constantly breaks laws and then rewrites laws in order to accommodate his greed and desire for power. He's smashed many many small businesses in illegal ways, most of his "philanthropy" is just funneling money from one enterprise to another and getting PR for it, and he could have used his money to probably slow down climate change so we could as a planet get a grip and prevent the catastrophes that have started but are only going to increase - but he didn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:46 PM
10

The porn is a small side issue in this. This guy would still have been very dangerous 100 years ago. You need to do whatever it takes to get away... there are women's shelters all over and no matter how low your self esteem is due to him, you absolutely are strong enough to get away and make a new life. It's your time now. You can do this.
/r/askFDS04/05/21 05:24 PM
17

This is handbook worthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:28 AM
21

Well that hits hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:58 AM
27

My deepest sympathy! My NVM father also makes everyone's physical health way worse - after leaving him my mother did a major glow up physically, just from the lack of stress - and she's really poor and still has a lot of stress to deal with. I have chronic illnesses due to my father that will never entirely go away, but that are doing WAY better in the months since I cut him off entirely. Be ruthless in getting what your dad owes you and then I recommend ditching him for the rest of his life, wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:49 PM
37

Yeah, one of the green flags for my husband was when he told me once his dad and brother insisted on taking him to a strip club and he was completely uncomfortable the whole time because none of the women looked happy in their eyes, he could tell they were all bored/miserable. He said if they'd looked really into it, like exhibitionism was their favorite thing, then maybe it would have been different, although it was still weird being surrounded by gross dudes,.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:44 PM
19

I feel bad for her, she clearly struggles a lot with figuring out how to navigate her own sexuality (her desires) versus the overwhelming flood of patriarchy (male desires) combined with capitalism (money's desires). We all have a hard time with it, but barely legal celebs probably most of all. I wish she wouldn't give in to marketing pushes, because it does damage other women... but I also feel a lot of sympathy for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:37 PM
77

It's hard to find the right balance between telling people valuable information that is hard to get, like FDS, and making them feel condescended to and controlled. I recommend not talking about it that much and letting them ask you if they really want your opinion. You can simply say you prefer not to talk much about guys and act bored every time they try... your good example will probably sink in more than your words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 02:44 AM
20

Not even one date :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:49 PM
200

wtf, I can't even imagine how terrible it must have been to pass out. He needs to be in jail the rest of his life. Danger to society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:59 PM
37

OMG women here are so funny!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 09:58 PM
8

Henry Cavill looks like he's made of wax and would watch you die without a care in the world lmfao. Accurate!!! I'm ded
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:59 PM
36

It's so dumb. My brother likes to be super dramatic about problems/illnesses but he started to resent me for responding to him with sympathy and suggestions. Then he blew up at me big time and I realized what he'd been hiding and stopped talking to him unless necessary. Now he's been trying the last few months to get me to take the bait again and give him some of that sweet sweet sympathy but nope. Door is shut. He made his bed, he can jolly well lie in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:49 PM
2

YUP! I've been learning this over the last few years after following some badass business ladies and learning not to tolerate bad behavior from businesses OR from my own clients. I've fired clients and found it to be incredibly liberating and empowering (heh, they were all scrotes having the audacity, of course). It's amazing how much more peace of mind and even money you can end up with strong boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:59 PM
10

Yup. I think a friend made more cleaning two houses. And then you'd have the rest of the month to do other stuff, instead of constantly being online, making new content, dealing bottom barrel scrotes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:52 PM
8

Exactly, "sex work" is a total DISempowering scam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:51 PM
1

Yikes!!! Glad you got out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:22 PM
23

Yeah, I was catcalled the most between the ages of 8 and 14. My parents didn't let me go places out of view by myself, fortunately, but even if I was walking my dog within view of the house I'd frequently have some neighborhood boys cruising by me slowly, hooting and hollering. I always wished I could have a literal death glare for that sort of situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:44 PM
19

Wow, I'm surprised but not surprised. I don't think I've ever experienced an act of sexual violence unless you count spanking in that, which some experts do. I have gone through many of the other things like catcalling and attempted kidnapping (very mild, as in stranger tried to trick me into their car but never touched me). I am SHOCKED though that so many women have been thrown down stairs! Most of the other stuff, though grim, tracks with what I've heard from my friends for years. This was ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:37 PM
24

Because he knows I like a swept floor, he clears up any escapee litter by sweeping it with his paw right up to the edge of the litter box. AWWWWWW!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:12 AM
35

I always have strong feelings about that quiz - every time I take it I feel sad that so many of my childhood family relationships did not pass at all, then I feel happy that my husband does, then I feel relief that I pass it toward my husband too - I used to be afraid I'd grow up to be an abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:07 AM
1

I agree with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 09:23 PM
10

Yeah, this is why I don't recommend single mothers to live with any new partner until all kids are 18. It's hard, but the alternative is just way too scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:51 PM
3

go on with what they call living." Dang...... this whole quote is amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:01 AM
21

Yeah. I used to volunteer and make phone calls, etc. I was a VERY VALUABLE volunteer, the kind campaigns are thrilled to discover. No more. Not unless the party the candidate is from supports a full radical feminist agenda, I will only be voting, and working to build women up in other ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:21 PM
9

OMG this might be why I've never had one - this has always been my rule, because I do have OCD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:31 PM
181

Thanks for brightening my day. And yeah, I bet he did it for the insurance money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:29 PM
1

Ew ew ew!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:37 AM
6

I have been doing all of these things more and more :) It is actually really fun too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:35 AM
29

What? Wow! Glad you got to see their failure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:06 AM
57

Ugh. These attitudes remind me of a ridiculous revenge song against a high school crush that the dude NEVER EVEN TALKED TO but was mad that she didn't read his mind and get with him. I hate that scrote and his music https://genius.com/Toby-keith-how-do-you-like-me-now-lyrics
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:31 AM
357

The older I get the more I feel the weight of these many many unknown women who were treated so terribly by people so unworthy of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:12 AM
23

I agree, ouch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 08:04 PM
26

What a fucking idiot! A. People have low libidos nowadays due to the massive problems with pollution, including plastic pollution, everywhere. B. People also have low libidos due to terrible diets and stress from stupid modern civilization. C. People ALSO have low libidos due to porn. D. People have been engaging in BDSM for thousands of years, you can see it in friezes and paintings. It's not some new invention, scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:05 PM
8

You got a lot of great advice already, so I will only add two bits of data that may or may not be useful. One, you might have endometriosis scars/lesions that are making that area cramped and tight, in which case it would not get better without expert incision surgery (Nancy's Nook is premier resource for endo). Two, it may be a case of a dysfunctionally tight pelvic floor, in which case I recommend reading every article and book by Katy Bowman. She goes very in depth but easily understandable s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:51 PM
6

Amnesty has gone so far off the rails that the granddaughter of the founder, Iseult White, is absolutely hopping mad. She has no power to change them, but is speaking out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:11 AM
11

I have a couple of uncles who treat their wives, my aunts, very well and have always been kind to their children and nieces and nephews. I have several female friends whose husbands seem very high value. I'll copy and paste one of my previous brags about my husband: Long massages every night while we chat before bed. Surprise foot massages during the day. Likes to bring me little treats from the store, but has been restraining himself to only healthy things for my sake (used to bring me M&Ms and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:24 PM
26

I was also a virgin at your age, and while I was more naive than you, I did know good men were rare and I'd never had one (visibly or obviously, anyway) interested in me at that point. People who'd been dating guys and having relationships always tried to reassure me that "I wasn't missing anything," but it didn't help at all. I felt like a failure as a woman, since everyone always said women had to beat men off with sticks. I don't know how to reassure you, as it's only once I had fallen in lov…
/r/askFDS21/04/21 06:38 PM
2

You're welcome, glad it was helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:22 AM
1

That's wonderful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:34 AM
2

Yeah, my sister dealt with "mild" anorexia for years and for her it was very much about escaping objectification, as well as "being virtuous" by controlling her desires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:35 AM
8

Haha you have a way with words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:35 PM
10

No, I don't think transhumanism, bionic stuff is a good idea at all. Nature is far more complex than we realize and every single time we try to outsmart it we cause major damage. Plus, who thinks men are good candidates to give control of reproduction to? Those poor kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:11 PM
10

If you don't like eating on first dates, he can come up with something fun and creative like ice skating, going on a sight seeing tour with a guide, taking painting/cooking/etc lessons together, etc. Video chats are recommended as a way to screen the guy before meeting, but are you all right eating with them after that? Because if you are, then eating is a fine first date for you, you just feel more comfortable screening first, which is quite reasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:18 PM
4

Wow, this is so right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:13 PM
14

-They are responsible pet owners Wow, that is so true. I have in the past been friends with women for years on end and tried to convince them not to impulsively get parents, then been disappointed when a few months later they would give it away/the fish would die/they would get bored and leave the dog outside by itself most of the time, neglected. As I got older and got life experience every one of those "friends" turned out to be LVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:10 AM
3

I have known no woman who said she was polyamorous without a history of sexual abuse and trauma. Interesting. When I was becoming an adult and trying to figure out what I wanted in my romantic life I heard of poly relationships, and even heard some women talking enthusiastically about reverse harem romance stories (one woman, multiple men) and I tried to convince myself it would be fun to have multiple lovers. Even back then, though, super naive and extremely pickme, I just could not make myself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:38 AM
6

No, and I loved how Kimmie's friend Gretchen tried to start one in Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt - it really highlighted a whole lot of absurdities and sexism in a surreal way. Man that was a good show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:34 AM
2

oweee that's my dad to a T.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:32 AM
11

OMG do not feel ANY guilt at all, you have given way too much to them already! You will be astonished at how much energy and happiness you will feel without them dragging you down. And it is the best thing you can do for you brother, too, to force him to grow up and deal with his life himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 08:04 PM
33

This is one of those truths I really really hate. I have learned through hard experience not to overshare but I like opening up so in reaction I am too closed off now... it's so hard to find a balance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 07:54 PM
1

That explains a lot!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:47 PM
48

Dollars, Dogs, Diamonds, and Desserts :D :D :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:22 PM
23

Keep talking as appropriate, it's the only way we're going to get men to stop expecting silent submissiveness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:19 PM
5

You could submit your story to blindgossip as a way to expose him without risk to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:17 PM
10

This sort of thing makes my head want to explode. It's the same exact mindset behind female genital mutilation and I CANNOT BELIEVE it exists, it is soooo evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 05:31 PM
36

Exactly. Make them clean it 20x a day, thoroughly, and they'll magically learn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:48 PM
10

I keep coming back and rereading this, like did it REALLY say that? 'Cause wow, I just can't even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:51 PM
13

EW, Judith Butler :( Like the others said, these men are not your friends.
/r/askFDS14/04/21 08:40 PM
10

Men should 100% be using Vasalgel for birth control, it has all the advantages of vasectomies and seemingly none of the disadvantages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:09 PM
6

Am I getting more allergic to Audacity after a year of very few scrotes, or is this guy especially and disgustingly smug?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:03 PM
22

sell there bodies for access to drugs that they have a debilitating addiction to And this addiction was usually deliberately created by a pimp >:(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:59 PM
3

Yeah, in winter even going outside it's just not going to work because the rays are not strong enough. I believe if you are north of Atlanta then they aren't sufficient until April :( Cod liver oil changed my life about 10 years ago, not even joking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:37 PM
3

Yeah, it is so funny for me to go out in a bikini at noon, stand in the sun for 2 minutes, and then be like "well, I got my dosage for today!" and head back in, but with my skin color that is all it takes, lol. Get changed for such a short thing...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 04:07 PM
10

Vitamin D and vitamins in general, plus electrolytes... Vitamin D can be hard to absorb through supplements, so careful most-of-body sunning for a few minutes a day during summer months is very helpful. Vitamin D deficiency makes me ruminate a lot plus be generally depressed. Hypnosis might help, a healing type that encourages you to love yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 08:08 PM
13

In my case, we had talked about it unofficially and I knew he wanted to marry me by the end of the first year, but due to my circumstances and personality I asked him to wait. He proposed at 4 years and we got married not long after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:15 AM
174

100% agree that women helping women level up and get wealthy is super important and for the good of all society. The only billionaire to ever lose their billionaire status due to giving so much away to good causes has been JK Rowling. Now Jeff Bezo's ex is giving billions away in a year. In poor countries, women use their incomes to feed and educate their children, whereas the men are often kept in poverty because they use their money for things like gambling and alcohol. In my own life, one of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:06 PM
2

I'm not sure, but you can read it for free at https://www.gutenberg.org/files/60/60-h/60-h.htm... if it doesn't suit you, it cost you nothing and you just click away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:30 PM
117

And add Kati Hariko, who pioneered the MRNA vaccines we are all taking now for COVID! P.S. I LOVE Baroness Orcy's books, possibly cheesy to some but soooo fun to read! And I still consider The Scarlet Pimpernel to be my favorite romance novel of all time, highly recommend it to all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:13 AM
28

Oh my gosh thank you for reminding me of this! This sort of piercing sweetness is why the search for love continues despite the dangers... I can see my husband or myself feeling like this after the other one dies, but I hate to imagine that loneliness for either of us. Edit: And you can see in all their pictures what a kind and happy man he was and how happy she was, in her eyes as well as smile, the whole time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:17 PM
4

Thank you for your work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:26 PM
26

Haha, that tickles my funny bone somehow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:25 PM
2

I like it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:34 PM
12

Make fun of him, call him a bitch/girl, emasculate him. Now that's an abusive piece of shit no one says anything...because he's performing masculinity perfectly. Yeah, I think that's part of why he became so terrible. He wanted to stop the bullying, and had such weak character that he decided becoming a bully was worth it, instead of, IDK, standing up for all victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:17 PM
9

Can confirm, the only person I know well who loooooves Marvel movies happens to be my NVM brother that I barely talk to anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 05:41 PM
84

Even worse, she advocates for pedophilia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 05:41 AM
70

This is the way. Gulabi Gangs everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:07 AM
7

Damn! She's amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:28 AM
38

I don't think most women realize how much class consciousness men have. Yup. Don't believe any guy who tells you he believes in feminism until you ALSO see multiple instances of other buys bullying him for standing up for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 09:00 PM
4

Yeah, I used to live in a country area where I used to go on night walks and it was AWESOME. I was even aware that cougars and bears were in the area regularly, but the only occasions where I was actually nervous were due to weird guys who did not live there. Those times I always went home asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:40 PM
3

Yeah, the only way it's fair for a guy to make his wife direct his every step is if she does it from the couch while he performs ALL the housework. Otherwise he should learn his part and do it right, without constant reminders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 07:45 PM
8

Congratulations on dealing with your abusive family and leveling up so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:42 AM
28

Good job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:54 AM
25

Yeah, I recommend ovarit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:17 AM
10

I used to think that too, now I just think "off with their heads" is a much better cure for rape buyers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:43 PM
14

Oxytocin has a lot of purposes. like soothing. It can also increase aggression in some circumstances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:06 PM
9

Husband doesn't. He also has a dumb phone because he dislikes how addictive smart phones are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:56 PM
26

He will want to take care of you, it's in their DNA and how they were raised. No 50/50 anything. I still get warm fuzzies how my husband was on Disability when we met and insisted on paying for our dates, buying me random presents... I was not used to being spoiled and kept thinking I should be paying more, but he just smoothly paid for things. For women still struggling with pickme impulses, it ended up being a fabulous investment for him. We have both greatly increased our incomes and quality …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:42 PM
7

I like this a lot better than any time based rule. Guys can read our stuff just like we read their stupid red pill stuff, and try to learn the pattern just enough to get sex. But if you follow this, it's a lot harder for him to fake it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:02 AM
25

Hahaha he reminds me of Mr. Collins in P&P - "They arise chiefly from what is passing of the time. And though I do sometimes amuse myself with arranging such little elegant compliments, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:08 AM
13

No worries, I totally understand! I genuinely NEED to lose weight for my health, but I am also quite HAPPY to lose weight and fit into more clothes, etc. It is very cool though that my husband married me at this weight, without ever seeing me at the size I'm heading toward - I know he loves me as a complete person and wish I had known that was possible when I was much younger. I am happy to describe what I've been doing by PM to anyone, but there's a lot of moving parts and things that apply to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 03:36 AM
31

NVM father who has abused our whole family in multiple ways for decades. My mother was FINALLY able to leave for good and the day after, no joke, I cut him off. I have a lot of autoimmune issues and struggle with my weight - tried a new approach, have been losing 9 lbs a month since. It feels AMAZING, especially since his constant nagging about my weight as a shame-filled and isolated teen contributed to my damaging yoyo dieting and weight gain, as did all the cortisol from the stress. Went very…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 10:53 PM
68

Yeah, this has been the BIGGEST most amazing level up for me during the pandemic. Cutting off two toxic male relatives has done absolute wonders for me, I could rave about it for a long time but it really really has increased my happiness and health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 09:27 PM
6

I'm glad you were able to get out of the abusive situation! Heh, cleaning strikes can have interesting results! A very recent one https://www.today.com/parents/exhausted-mom-goes-cleaning-strike-tweets-go-viral-t212191
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:14 PM
32

It sounds like maybe you are in the bargaining phase of the 5 stages for a relationship right now? In which case, my first advice is to act as if you are breaking up. Secretly get organized and get your budget tight, figure out how & where you'd move (and a timeline if you need to save for it). When you are ready to walk out THAT DAY if he acts a fool, then have a gentle talk with him about how things are uneven. Take him around the apartment with him making a list of every chore that needs to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:24 PM
26

Yeah, men are SO resistant to it. My male relatives know they should go, but they don't like having to work, so they start and then stop a few weeks later, over and over. I'm STILL in shock that my now husband went to therapy for so long his therapist actually told him it was time to start dating now - and then he was only on OLD briefly, because he wanted a relationship! Like wow...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:06 PM
6

They don't deserve a chance. Look at it as winning the breakup - you are going on to be more and more awesome and they can watch in longing from afar, but the you the diamond already slipped out of their fingers and there are no second chances. This energy and confidence will serve you really well in future relationships AND it might make the old dudes act better for their future girlfriends... but you are the one who got away.
/r/askFDS02/04/21 04:10 AM
2

:( sad you also had to deal with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:05 AM
2

Not shallow, let him go and find someone better suited for you.
/r/askFDS02/04/21 04:04 AM
3

It sounds cute, like he's dreaming about marrying you. Keep vetting but be happy that he's at that place already - my husband also kept letting little hints slip before 6 months had gone by and 7 years later we are still happy :)
/r/askFDS02/04/21 04:03 AM
59

Yeah, there are so many scary things! There are some things I've heard of that seem to help ease or eliminate SOME of these problems, like: Spinning Babies program Nourishing Movement (and some other restorative exercise people) by Katy Bowman Getting the most healthy and nutrient rich diet possible Wrapping the belly after birth for a couple months Being really careful (not restrictive) about food during pregnancy to keep blood sugar low so as to have a healthy and not huge baby Marrying a kind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:59 PM
5

Yes! Because of our upright structure and huge heads, birth is way harder for us than for most other animals (kiwi bird egg laying excepted! Poor things) Plus pregnancy is structurally different and more intense in us than in most mammals. A lot of animals can easily re-absorb a pregnancy if they are being stressed/not eating enough, the fetus is not so controlling as it is in humans (human fetus dilates blood vessels near the uterus to 10x their normal size and keeps them that way to get nutrit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 08:53 PM
14

I do appreciate your raising awareness on this - it's something I've looked into quite a lot myself, partly because we spent the last 8 years or so trying to help her leave. I know it takes like 7 attempts on average to finally leave, and she just got away for good this year, so yay! I won't go into too many details and doxx myself, but she is educated and has family support from richer siblings who have given her lots of money over the years as she's tried to leave, let her stay with them, etc.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 07:06 PM
25

Awesome, if you read this friend's cousin, you are great and SO far ahead in life already!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 06:09 PM
25

I get what you are saying, but this is SO extreme and she keeps letting him have the baby in a different room from her! And my mother could have left my father on many different occasions - yes it would have been difficult, but she could have, and because of it all of us are mentally and some physically damaged (autoimmune disorders) due to his constant mental, financial, and emotional abuse. I still struggle with so much anger towards her as well as the volcano towards him - I sympathize and un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 05:55 PM
20

Aww, you looked so sad! Glad you are out of it now! Also, that kitten is soooooo cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 05:05 AM
9

I think I might take your advice - I so appreciate everyone RARGHing with me as sometimes I wondered if I was reading way too much into it - for years I told my husband and sister, and ONLY them because I didn't want to gossip about her, that I thought her first husband was a total douchebag and to mark my words in case I was right. When she got married again, I was hoping it would be okay and kept wishful thinking telling myself my gut was wrong, but it keeps bothering me and you all seem to ag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 05:01 AM
10

Thanks - I am always willing to stick my neck out and be hated if it will do any good, but yeah in this case I don't see any scenario where I can do something good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:08 AM
17

Thank you for the confirmation, I may try not to look at her page anymore so as not to get so upset. She's already on mute... I feel so terrible for the kids but there's no obvious reason to call CPS or anything and the worry is causing me literal pain all over my body, so maybe I need to refocus on people I CAN help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:04 AM
50

Add that to the number of women who've died of childbirth I believe I read once that before the development of modern medicine, only about 40% of women made it to menopause. !!!! It kind of explains why so many men are completely devoid of empathy for women - evolution selected against that. If they cared about their wife and wanted her to remain alive, men would have been very conflicted about impregnating her and thus not passed on their genes nearly as often. It's a terrible part of our ances…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:40 AM
17

I have felt like I was living in an insane asylum for most of my life because of being entrenched in misogyny and pickme culture. Just opening my phone to FDS is a huge breath of fresh air. So much this!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:26 AM
26

I saw a very interesting twitter thread once about women's ancestors who were suspected, with reason, of having killed husbands or dudes who molested their daughters... and how they got away with it, in many cases even though it was an open secret in their community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:12 PM
15

UGH. No wonder so many women who make more than their husbands will fib about it to everyone, including researchers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:01 PM
3

Not exactly, it seems to be from the bladder with the addition of ingredients from I believe Skene's gland.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 05:18 PM
45

Thank you, this is very helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:59 AM
4

Ugh, what a terrible experience! If you want to report it more strongly than an online review, you can ask to meet with the hospital ombudsman and ask for an official apology and some training for all their staff. Maybe in future they might treat other women better, though I'm sure it would depend on how strongly the authorities enforce the training.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 10:35 PM
9

Yeah, I do not understand why people get so judgy about things like that - I had one client I loved in one of my previous businesses and after knowing her for a couple years she mentioned how she didn't like being in public because people often stared at her if she didn't have her uncomfortable false teeth in. I'm not very observant, because I hadn't even realized she was toothless most of the time and didn't care at all. She was a very tough woman who had gone through a lot and was still extrem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:04 PM
4

What kind of blew my mind was realizing that a huge part of the reason WHY men react so angrily and defensively to women criticizing men as a whole is that THEY ALL KNOW just how terribly men have treated women and they subconsciously EXPECT that if we talk about them in any denigrating way, the way they have for centuries, that that is a precursor to us beginning to oppress and abuse them in exactly the same way they as a class have done to us for millennia. However, even full blown hatred of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:14 PM
8

Please do!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:10 AM
4

They use servers to "mine" for it. This is a big industry in certainly developing nations too, with an ENORMOUS electricity footprint (we're talking small countries worth).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:14 PM
133

HAHAHA sob watched my dad do this to my mom like... constantly. Their whole marriage. Ugh. Just UGH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:45 PM
37

Because employers are male Yes. We women need to become the bosses and the judges and the politicians... it's way more of a grind for us to do it, but if we support each other we can make it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:31 PM
9

This is one of the few things I didn't bother changing from my fundie upbringing - I've never tried to make guy friends, and I think I've avoided a LOT of trouble from it. Even with best friend, I never added her husband on social media or got his phone number or anything. My husband's seemingly HV friends, married and single, are polite when they see me but interaction is only incidental and chit chat and I like it that way. My only male "friends" are relatives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:55 PM
27

I don't much care if pedos can be treated and healed, the evidence shows an extremely high rate of persistence. My compassionate stance for treating pedos is there should be isolated parts of society basically like large jails where they can live, work, and socialize, but not access internet and not ever be allowed around children. They can self disclose and opt for living in this system to prevent harm coming to children. Otherwise, they should off themselves for the good of the planet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:07 AM
1

Awesome, welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:18 AM
19

This. I won't even be friends with crypto nuts. It's mostly used for child porn, drugs, prostitution, and other dreadful and illegal purchases so I side eye ANYONE who dabbles in it. Even if they "just want to make money" they are part of a chain of horrific evil that is purposefully made for the purposes of getting away with more evil than regular money allows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:18 AM
3

Oh my gosh this is so sweet that it made me tear up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:47 PM
1

I'm afraid I'm all out right now, but I think if you contact them on Twitter Ovarit will send you one, or I could try to remember to send you one later!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:47 AM
35

Hardly surprising from the website that was hugely built by (apparently) epstein's madame (see the u/ maxwellhill story).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:40 AM
26

Ovarit :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:38 AM
20

ovarit :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:38 AM
22

ovarit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:38 AM
20

1000% true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:19 AM
3

Wow, I've never ridden one that wanted to rear instead of go forward! Not cool, little guy. Welshes are adorable. I like Haflingers but have run into some very stubborn ones. If you like the sass then you'll like them :) It does sounds like you have a good opportunity there. With ponies, I'm too large to ride them but I really really want some driving Caspians someday. They're really cheap for an endangered breed, too! Also I want to do a study of their bones someday, as it seems from what I can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:19 AM
4

Hahaha thanks for this link!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:13 AM
16

I totally agree, as someone who was also homeschooled and knows many remote farm types. So yeah, even in THIS highly hypothetical situation where someone has only met 10 people in his life, he is STILL very likely to know a sex offender. Edit: Also I love how many of us homeschooled girls came out of that and used our brains to deconstruct and reconstruct our lives! We are so strong and we rock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:08 AM
3

His energy is virtually always an up and out vs down and behind Yeah, my OTTB was like that too, and it was actually too much for me, haha. I decided I prefer Arabians, but I just do trail riding and some light obstacle class type stuff. Someday I want to get me a cow-bred Paint and do that, though. I've ridden some cutting/reining horses and wow, the zip is so fun but not as overwhelming as the smooth, eye-wateringly fast gait of my OTTB was!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 02:24 AM
4

Ahhhhh, I love that you are spending so much time with horses!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 02:21 AM
11

With livestock there are machines that are used to select for 95% female sperm. I wonder if it would work on human sperm?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 02:20 AM
54

Good grief. Just doing a neighborhood search on convicted sex offenders is eye opening, and knowing how few actually get convicted means that each and every single man (and woman) knows a sex offender unless he spent his whole life homeschooled on a remote farm and only knows like 10 people total. It's not a reflection on one's character to have met or spent time with someone like that unwittingly - it's what you do AFTER you discover someone's bad character that reflects on your own character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 11:15 PM
7

Completely agree with each of your points. It is heartening to see guys actually working on self improvement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 11:12 PM
7

Congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 10:21 PM
38

Exactly! I was also a. not dating and b. not popular, but I have no desire to go around sleeping with college boys. This sort of excuse-making just makes me think more and more that men as a class have no business holding power - step it up scrotes or hand over the reins to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 09:08 PM
11

I love Natalie Lue SOOOO much! Her blog helped me through my first (and bad) relationship and helped me dump him and then vet my now husband. ALSO, I think the mindset shifts from putting into action what I was learning are a big part of why my husband was attracted to me in the first place. I cannot stress enough how instrumental her writing has been in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:53 AM
10

Plus I believe 80% of marriages with special needs children end in divorce, which makes it even more imperative to pick a guy who will a. contribute to making a healthy child and b. have enough character to be a good father and supportive husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:36 AM
1

Oh my gosh so sweet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:14 AM
1

Yeah, I still can't believe there are porn sites like M*therless specifically to evoke a helpless orphan girl. Makes my head explode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:10 AM
2

Ugh... I don't run partly due to fear of this sort of thing, but when I ride horses I usually have to wear two sports bras so they don't bounce up and down to the point of hurting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:26 AM
6

Taming a bucking bronco or a "troubled man" is way too risky and the reward if successful way too small. You're most likely to end up with permanent damage and a still ornery animal or "troubled man," plus wasted years. Go for the easy, already high quality one every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:22 AM
5

Then his house burned down in a California wildfire Beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:08 AM
3

me too, haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:22 AM
28

Very cool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:31 AM
17

Yeah, I have an old friend who grew up in the same fundie background I did. Unlike me, she got pregnant and married at 18, had a bunch of kids with a guy she was always bragging about and who made a lot of money (I always said he had the most punchable face ever), and then of course around 30 he dumped her and she started admitting on FB that he had been abusing her, punching holes in walls, etc. She started posting al lot of inspirational BS on her social media and I thought, "Maybe she's going…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:53 PM
46

children matter more than the feelings of a adult. I agree. Once you have kids, you have to step up. No matter how bad your family of origin is or your SO is or your friends are, you have to gut up and do what is best for your child AND realize that you may not know what is best, so get PLENTY of therapy/leveling up so you DO know what your child or children need. They have to come first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:20 PM
2

What is your goal for doing all this? Do you want to spend so much of your life hours and money on this, rather than anything else, or are you hoping it will get you a man/a job or promotion/the respect of other women, or ? When we talk about being high maintenance on here it's not so much about these types of beauty treatments necessarily as it is clothes that make us feel good, things that smell nice or nourish our bodies, excellent mental health hygiene, etc. A man might call us "high mainten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:16 PM
36

Yeah, also you notice they NEVER tell the women to do choreplay? It's because everyone knows the women are pulling their weight. They tell the women to try to be more sexy or pornified or ask directly or get him on testosterone or whatever, but they don't bother trying to tell the woman to do more chores around the house to get him interested in sexy times. #Scrotesbescrotin
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:55 AM
17

Yeah, I was like ?!? when I saw that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:53 AM
140

I have lurked on the sub for dead bedrooms before and they apparently get very grumpy any time something like this is brought up and scream "But I tried choreplay and it didn't work!" To any lurkers yelling this at their screens right now, well, trying to fix something after you've broken it is a difficult task and sometimes impossible. If she already has The Ick from having to mother you, it's probably best to split up amicably, make sure she's taken care of financially, and start over with som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:47 PM
3

Cool, I will look that up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:56 PM
36

Yeah no this dude is just lazy af and she should throw him out. My only HV brother has autism and has been doing all his own chores, cooking for himself 100%, working and studying AND is a caring friend and brother ever since he became an adult. He would never dream of acting like this scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:37 PM
31

Congratulations!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:33 AM
5

Men kick disobedient dogs, or hate cats, for much the same reason You know why the phrase beating a dead horse exists? It's because men used to abuse their horses so much, not feeding them enough and overworking them, beating them, etc., that the poor horse would literally drop dead in the street and the man would have a tantrum beating it trying to make it get up and go again. Many men are and always have been vile scum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:32 AM
3

This is indicative of a pervasive cultural belief that women are naturally inferior at math intensive work. I was well over 30 before I suddenly realized that just because I don't enjoy theoretical math doesn't mean I don't like math and that in fact I constantly do it for fun (I love running business scenarios, usually related to regenerative agriculture). I did math voluntarily and often in great detail for three decades before I realized I liked math!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:52 AM
1

Inspirational!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:36 AM
38

Fantastic post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:25 AM
10

Yeah, during my 18-25 years multiple friends got pregnant accidentally and chose to keep the baby but not tell the father. I used to judge them for that, and I still have complicated feelings about the kids not knowing their bio fathers, but it probably was for the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:10 AM
9

I know how hurtful it can be to be called bossy for years - I knew I was and am very determined and ambitious and yes, can be "bossy," but it made me so scared of my own power and of living boldly for a long time. Early in my relationship my husband jokingly called me bossy and I teared up and asked him not to call that, he could use other words to rebuke or praise me but please not use that word. He stopped 100% and has supported me being ambitious. I am very careful whenever I hire someone or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:08 AM
5

I wanted to like Meghan, I really did, but after following the whole thing on blindgossip the last few years I just... can't defend her. I want the monarchy gone because it's stupid and terrible and I hate that Andrew isn't in jail or dead due to his crimes, but Meghan is - I can't defend her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:09 PM
11

I think men decided he must have been good looking because otherwise why would the women be stopping to help him? Telling on themselves, as always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:58 PM
13

This is one of my brothers. My husband had been very uncomfortable around him for years and openly telling me he was taking advantage of the me and the rest of my family, but I kept thinking it was just his (diagnosed) mental illness that was causing his behaviors until quarantine happened last year. There was an event that caused it all to crystallize and and I was like "Oh. Wow. He HATES me, actually, and only keeps me around for narcissistic supply." After that, bye bye brother and hello VAST…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:17 PM
17

You may be in a place where it doesn't happen, but it IS a thing that is happening. https://www.healthline.com/health/nonconsensual-internal-exams-sexual-assault#2 & https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6882529/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:41 PM
61

This hope is one of the reasons men got so excited about crypto (plus paying for child porn and drugs and other revolting scrote favorites), but the IRS and other entities have absolutely figured out how to track it now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 05:55 PM
2

Thank you, I thought I was becoming so cynical but I guess I still have more to learn, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 04:38 PM
63

Another issue women should be aware of is the common practice of having students practice pelvic exams on women after they are sedated for surgery. Fortunately this has been outlawed in California and some other places, but this kind of medical rape is still very common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 05:13 AM
6

OK I give in, you guys are right, he's not even an okay guy. Argh, still trying to get rid of my tendency to give guys too much benefit of the doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 05:04 AM
8

You could be right about all of that. I haven't been with a FI-obsessed guy, so you are probably catching more nuances than I am. My husband is frugal with himself but generous with others and I'm the one who's trying to learn not to pinch every penny due to growing up in poverty. Oh well. It is fascinating to me though how unhappy he was specifically due to not having a woman. I remember being lonely and desperate for sex, but on the day to day I was improving myself, working towards goals like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:01 AM
6

I thought he was at least trying to self reflect, and I disliked the "content to be normal" stuff, but I'm not sure where you got the stingy bit? With his new fiancee he is already talking about making sure his money can cover both of their retirements, and has taken both women when in relationships with them on lots of trips. It's hard to read between the lines and tell someone's true personality, so I said he seemed like an okay guy, but I could be wrong. Side note, ugh your ex. I used to read…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:42 PM
7

He sounds incredibly manipulative - he was trying to torture you on purpose. It worked, because you'd have to be a sociopath not to be upset by that. Please block him everywhere you possibly can so he can't torture you any more. I used to get told I was selfish, lazy, "too much," rude, bitter, rebellious... guess what, I'm actually full of personality and ideas and ambition, generous, somewhat cynical and slow to trust (which is good), and only bitter and rebellious to people who are abusing me.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:18 PM
6

(((sending hugs))) I've been through a horrible breakup before and on the other side now. It's hard, I know. It was worth the pain in the end. What happened?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:04 PM
24

This seemingly decent and certainly hardworking man ended up in a severe existential depression as soon as his marriage broke up. Despite therapy and meds, this only resolved once he got in another relationship. How many times have you seen a similar story play out? Men need us, like really NEED us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:02 PM
10

If you don't want to get married, then don't, but make sure he is either pulling his weight in housework or hiring a maid for you, and make sure that he is putting in more money toward bills than you are, as it's almost impossible for women not to be contributing a lot emotionally/mental labor. As long as he's still doting on you and you're happy and building a good retirement fund, then go for it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 09:59 PM
6

Miss Marple, Murder She Wrote, & Enola Holmes to add to the good collection already mentioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 09:38 PM
4

People should pay more attention to what's NOT said in that verse - the woman is NOT commanded to leave her family. It's the man who has to stop being a mama's boy and decide to put his wife first in all things from now on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 08:12 PM
11

Long massages every night while we chat before bed. Surprise foot massages during the day. Likes to bring me little treats from the store, but has been restraining himself to only healthy things for my sake (used to bring me M&Ms and similar, which I loved of course, but had to ask him not to!). Will be in another room and hear me sigh about something and correctly ask "what are you mad about?" IDK how he can tell by my sigh what my emotions are. Was helpfully protective of my mother in her (fin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 08:01 PM
9

Very much appreciate you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:39 PM
98

Yup. And if a man is not receiving backlash from other men on a regular basis for what he says to protect women, then he's not enough of an ally. I say this after watching my husband ditch multiple people (kick them out of guy's nights) and get bullied frequently for simply saying something is not OK, that that joke is terrible, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:28 PM
21

I hope you can get free of it - be kind to yourself and be excellent to yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:25 PM
6

sign that says “free nudes” in the middle 💀 I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:45 PM
11

I’ll call it the BROKEN GLASS SCROTE MOAT hahaha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:45 PM
12

It's amazing that you are already at this place at only 17! I'd suggest focusing on school and your passions, developing as many skills at whatever interests you as possible. I'd also suggest making as many friends (while still having good boundaries and not accepting flaky/fake friends) as possible during this time. I was often frustrated with myself at this age, upset that i wasn't as disciplined as I wanted to be, but as time went by my brain kept getting more and more mature and I naturally …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:25 PM
7

Sounds like a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 08:19 PM
43

This is extremely true. Once I worked in a clinic where a guy covered in Nazi tattoos came in, begging for opioids. First he told us a whole song and dance about how his mother died when he was a kid, how he spiraled and went to jail and got "trapped" in a gang, how now he's trying to do better but his back is killing him so he can't work... the whole time there was NO genuine emotion from him. When not given the drugs, he then attacked a doctor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:10 PM
15

Ugh. And why do I suspect these "10% ers" are meanwhile draining about 30% of her energy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:57 PM
14

I'm only mid thirties and premenopause, but the biggest surprise to me post 30s has been just how much better life keeps getting. I used to fear aging SO much, but I keep getting happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:46 PM
7

Yeah, some people are very nitpicky - in my family it was my dad constantly badgering me especially, often literally standing over me while I did something and constantly telling me I was doing it wrong. If I dared to sigh or show any negative emotion, I was being rebellious. Then he would guilt trip me over not wanting to spend time with him/not even wanting to look at him. That emotional abuse for years on end really really scarred me and we no longer talk. I'm very conscious of what I ask for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:10 PM
1

It’s so sad that we have to teach each other how to maximize that equity instead of it just being a given when we enter a partnership. I agree. I didn't actually have to give him a chore chart, don't worry, but there were a number of things I had to show him how to do when it came to cooking or garden stuff. He had learned a good amount of cleaning on his own, but had been discouraged by multiple people from attempting to cook. Fortunately I usually only have to show him a cooking technique or t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:25 AM
2

Ugh, I hate how men get away with being so freaking lazy. I've heard that division of chores when you move in together is typically how it continues/or gets worse for the woman, which makes me think we should carefully plan out chore charts ahead of time and assign the man 80% of household chores. Over time this will probably degrade significantly, but you might still end up at 50%. You don't have to tell him what the division of labor is, you simply have to tell him this is what he's responsibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 09:45 PM
17

Awesome post! I read an article a couple years ago (wish I could find it now) where someone was sharing the etiquette of like the 1930s and how back then girls were almost forced to date around by their parents. You were supposed to go on lots of dates starting in high school, but you could not go out with the same boy twice in a row until you were "mature enough/the boy proved himself" to go steady with. That was a big step that often led to engagement and then marriage. I thought it was really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 11:55 PM
7

In 2020 I went very low contact with one of my brothers. He puts on more of a show than your brother does about pretending to be a feminist, but is actually extremely selfish, lazy, and misogynistic. I never thought about cutting him off until quarantine happened and he didn't care about my safety - it has made my life about 4x better to be very low contact with him now. You don't have to talk to your brother, it's not a requirement if he keeps disrespecting you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:07 AM
9

It's weird getting old. I Haha yeah! We were at the forefront of the exciting new internet age, and now we are the hoary elders with long memories of past dramas and events. So weird!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:54 PM
6

An encouraging thing is that there is something called post-traumatic resilience - as we rebuild our lives, we can build ourselves stronger and smarter. Trauma doesn't have to leave us always worse off, though we have scars we can end up having an amazing life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:50 PM
7

Yeah, my mother in law is a sad and angry woman due to being beaten her whole life by her parents and then her narc husband. She felt trapped due to religion and beat her sons and emotionally abused them. She has gotten in fights with my husband before because he "won't boss me around enough" which is ironic - she's trying to control him so he'll be more manly and in control? It's also dumb because I am hardly some out of control person going around being rude or something... I feel bad for her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:20 PM
3

I agree. It sounds like he's a good guy so far! My husband is a sweetie pie who has gone through hell in his younger years due to a very abusive family and having mental illness AND life threatening physical problems that required major surgery, but being with him feels nourishing and has made me stronger and much happier. We both have really thrived since finding each other, though both of us were working hard on leveling up before that. If we were classic book characters, I'm Jane Eyre and he'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:00 AM
9

I've bragged a lot about my husband in the past, which is easy to find in my history, but just wanted to point out that > A HVM would never complain or ask for emotional support. is not actually a healthy goal to aim for. In a good relationship you will both support each other. An HVM won't suck you dry, and you will see your emotional support actually having an effect rather than disappearing down a black hole of whining, but a man who refused to ever ask for support from you is going to have p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:12 AM
1

This is really powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:47 AM
1

Yes, I have never been able to relate to women who love wearing heels because my back instantly punishes me for them. But if someone wants to wear heels every now and then, good for them, and I can sort of see the fun in suddenly being taller.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:18 AM
8

Definitely chores. Over their childhood, they should gradually do more chores and rotate through different types of chores so they know how to do all of them. I would say by middle school they should be doing all their own laundry, for example. A lot of parents do tell their kids "clean your room!" without actually demonstrating step by step and doing it with the kids enough times that the kids know what to do. Children do not have mature executive function yet, which is why raising them takes s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:45 AM
6

OKCupid before it was bought. I did most of my pre-screening online, didn't go on multiple dates a week because that would have been exhausting. I screened as hard as possible for character and ignored looks until I could meet the person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:38 PM
2

I agree, this is a great description.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:06 AM
1

:( And doctors do NOT treat thyroids properly, as a rule. Stopthethyroidmadness is a good and massive info dump website of tens of thousands of patient experiences and info, but the main gist of it is you need to take both T4 (like Synthroid) AND T3 medication, and in the right proportion and amounts. Also, according to a ton of rather obscure research I looked into, thyroid meds do not -supplement- the thyroid function, but -take it over- not permanently, if you stop the meds, even after decade…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:40 PM
3

Yeah, it's so tough because we should be able to take time and hide but so often we have to push to our very limits just to survive. When you can rest, though, don't feel guilty about it! You're doing a LOT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:48 PM
6

Crohns is really hard. My best guess for getting good nutrition to actually absorb is really slow simmered soups made on slow simmered bone broths... there are wellness doctors who will also inject nutrients for you to bypass the digestive system. And getting (almost - not face or hands) whole body sun exposure daily during the summer months would help better than any supplements for vitamin D, although I suggest taking those also. The rule for sun exposure is only as much as it takes to feel wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:37 PM
3

No, he was just trying to explain to me basically that trees need water to survive. I can't even express how stupid this guy was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:51 PM
10

:( Fibro is definitely real, definitely related to trauma, and can be helped a great deal with nutrition but often requires fixing malabsorption problems first. Always happy to share my experiences/my research on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:01 PM
10

I'm literally in a 'freeze' episode because i'm judging myself so hard and can't get any work done because i'm afraid of messing up, stupid but I. can't. move. Can you give yourself a hug? Try telling your body you love and appreciate how much it has done to protect you and how hard it works. Think about the fact that you deserve rest, safety, and luxury. It's okay to be afraid sometimes, but you don't NEED to be afraid now. You are safe at the moment. You are worthy and loved. Self compassion t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:58 PM
46

I believe deer and elk will go up to a week without eating during mating season because they are working so hard on impressing the females and fighting other males. Many animals will build and entire house (nest) AND do dances to woo a female. Roosters constantly find treats and call the hens over to let them eat, as well as fighting bald eagles. Stallions sweet talk mares, protect them from predators, and let foals get away with murder. Spiders are willing to die just to have sex. A man who doe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:36 PM
25

I like native plants and encouraging pollinators. Once had a guy come over to trim one of my trees, he said it needed to be watered more often. I said "okay" and mused aloud about how I must have been overdoing the recommendation not to water it in summer for fear of killing it. He then proceeded to try to explain that trees suck water up from their roots and evaporate it into the air. I cannot get over how utterly STUPID this dude was and how clueless he was about me for sure knowing how plant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:25 AM
22

If it's a power play, you will feel it and still be able to block and delete them. It sets the tone, though, if he's someone you DO want to keep seeing - men value things and women more if they have to work for them. They LIKE things they pay money for, more. It's hard to get used to being "spoiled," but life is SO much better when you make that mindset change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:57 AM
35

Off the top of my head, I'm guessing blood clots or aneurysms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 10:12 PM
43

Yeah, while I was sobbing after reading the news story I decided not to date again if my husband and I split or he dies before me. I don't think it would be physically possible for me to get enough interest in a man to take the risk of him being a total evil perv underneath whatever attractive exterior he had. On the good side, I am no longer that upset about climate collapse - humans deserve to die out, I just hope as many animal and plant species as possible will survive the mass extinction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 10:10 PM
97

I cannot forget the story of the poor veterinarian woman whose car broke down in India and was raped, murdered, and her body burned. As soon as the news broke pornhub (I think) had like 8 million searches for her name from India. That has left a scar in my heart. And then Desi men in the west have these horrible toxic attitudes toward women and decide women are evil and racist for not wanting to date them. No scrote, it's your horrible attitude that makes you completely undatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 08:07 PM
11

I am in awe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:57 PM
6

Deep fakes are even more scary. I removed my face from my social media profiles after finding out about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:52 PM
1

If you read Andrea Dworkin's essay on Right Wing Women you'll understand her thought process and how to talk to women like her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:47 PM
5

Wow, she's amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:10 PM
26

I'm a huge fan of her - it's only thanks to her that in 2019 !!!! we finally got one or two MEDICAL ANATOMY textbooks to start including clitoral anatomy for the FIRST TIME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:07 PM
14

I believe those studies actually weren't differentiating between straight relationships they had prior to coming out and current lesbian or gay relationships, so the data is muddy, as a lot of people try to have straight relationships and really struggle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 06:58 PM
71

Gross. I hope she gets a LOT of money out of him in the inevitable divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:31 AM
23

Which is good for Japanese women because they’ve been treated like shit by Japanese men for so long. I read once that Japan used to practice exposure infanticide as a form of "birth control" for hundreds of years to prevent overpopulation. Imagine all those millions of women being oppressed in every way by the men and ALSO being married to men who could not even be bothered to pull out, but instead forced them to get pregnant over and over and get attached to their coming babies, only to announc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:25 AM
10

but it sounds luxurious as hell. It IS. I LOVED trying on wedding dresses and finding "the one" and then having little children see me and gasp and say that I looked like a princess. I'm working toward being in a financial place where I can buy/have made a super luxurious $1000 ballgown made for me every year. It's frivolous, yes, but SO much fun - and I want to dress my husband up in fancy Victorian clothes at the same time and take lots of photos. It really added an outsize amount of happiness…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:20 AM
30

Yes, exactly. My family was super fundie, so I was surrounded by Trad marriages. I never ever saw a single marriage to envy or want to copy amongst ALL of them. I really wanted to get married because I really wanted to have sex and thought that was necessary, but I used to wish that after the honeymoon period was over and I had a kid or two, that when he started to (inevitably I thought) be mean and controlling and unaffectionate, that he would magically have a car accident and leave me a happy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 09:37 PM
54

Ahhh, I love this style of ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:29 AM
40

This broke my heart. She is so so fragile and so so strong. I cried watching it... one of my dreams is someday to be in a good situation where I can foster girls so they don't have to go through what she did, so they can live happy and excel and live good lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:12 AM
2

Wow, I didn't know it was supposed to desensitize you - sure hasn't worked, I'd like to be less sensitive. I've been mostly bra free for almost two decades now. I like the way they look in bras but cannot be bothered most of the time and have been working at home for ages, so no one else can see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:25 AM
12

Awww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:35 PM
39

Yeah, except they don't even need vasectomies - Vasalgel does the same thing in an easily reversible injection, with no hormones!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:25 PM
37

This is one of my brothers to a T. It took me years to realize he's a narc, but he SO is. And after getting stupidly mad at the bots (despite being offered SO much dating help), he started paying for OF and similar and getting ripped off of huge amounts of money. Last I heard he was "trying not to become misogynistic" i.e., trying to still pretend he cares about women, due to the many times he's been scammed, but he still keeps falling for the DUMBEST scams. My life has been way better since I c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 04:51 AM
42

I can litterally remove the juiciest piece of bones from my dog's mouth and he'll just sit Yeah, this story is so incredibly depressing. I cannot even with all these scrotes DEFENDING him. Good grief, animals are way better friends and companions than almost all men nowadays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:12 AM
64

Wow, congrats on leveling up by dumping him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:38 AM
196

Why did he type it so barebones???? Dudes, if you're trying to grovel to get your ex back through the mail, AT LEAST find some nice stationary and HAND WRITE the sucker, with an actual signature on the bottom. Good grief. Better yet, send her nice love letters at times DURING the relationship and maybe you won't have to ever try to get her back - she'll still BE there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:14 AM
11

Similar experience for me, that is how I found my husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 09:12 PM
41

I'm ded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:53 AM
16

This NVM mansplainy scrote should go get him some education, read books from the 1700s where the men were writing poems to girls' HAIR. Meanwhile, in the decent and polite world, high value men who are into you will be happy just to be in your presence and having a good time together and they understand what a risk you are taking by considering sex with them and patiently let you decide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:12 AM
49

If men were logical creatures they wouldn't demonize an act they enjoy receiving from women, because it means they would get it less frequently. Yes. Any man who uses "suck my dick" as an insult at any time is undatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:33 PM
38

One of the biggest mindset shifts for me in life as well as in business, is you cannot persuade people to want what you have to offer - you offer the best you can and you try to put it in front of the RIGHT people while swiftly weeding out the people who don't want your offer, i.e., the WRONG people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:31 PM
42

Yeah, I was over 30 years old before I suddenly realized, "Wait, I'm not actually TOO MUCH to handle or a difficult person to be around." It was all just gaslighting that for years caused me to suppress my emotions, which caused severe depression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:18 PM
8

Ugh, so triggering. I hate hate hate how scrotes use their religion and the "elder" scrotes to bully women. I hope she gets away and becomes rich as f. He seems so dumb that maybe he'll never get to retire and can just have a miserable old age all alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:25 PM
13

Wow, I'm impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:46 PM
32

Yeah. I hated when Game of Thrones was still on and I still remember every single friend/acquaintance who was talking about watching it - I don't trust anyone who would voluntarily watch such a CRUEL show for FUN. Ditto with many other shows. I have no friends who are into slasher or horror movies because I think there is something broken in the brain of people who watch those. The most I will go is watching a Miss Marple style show, and even on those I look away from any gore that is shown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:41 PM
7

They know exactly how to drop truth bombs and still remain popular in a deeply misogynistic society. Yeah, mad respect for her... I can drop truth bombs, but do not have the knack of sweetening it (yet?).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 09:25 PM
33

I 100% believe this. I always worked very hard and give myself credit for that. I will say that once I got into a happy and supportive relationship and knew that someone was there to love me and back me up financially if necessary, my income jumped up and has jumped up several times since then. Both of our careers have. He was on Disability when we met and started building up his own business a couple years in, doing better and better despite still having so many physical challenges and mental h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:04 AM
42

Ugh, there is one friend from my childhood that I keep worrying this exact type of situation is going to happen to. We are right at the age now when that sort of high school sweetheart relationship so often blows up. Not even going to get into how heartlessly my dad treated my mom after bleeding her dry of every possible resource. If I never see him again it will be too soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:59 AM
1

I feel like if guys are so intent on making us the project manager, then fine, we'll assign you 90% of the work and do 10% ourselves while also managing your work. That might be fair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:00 AM
13

Yeah, young guys can be physically cute but the way they talk and their mannerisms are just... pat head, little brother, wanna protect you vibe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:09 PM
3

I'm using the Freestyle Libre 2 because it was the cheapest option I found (can get them quite cheap on ebay, too). Dexcom has alerts in case you are in danger of actual emergencies, but Libre just tells you when you check it where you're at. i think they both keep graphs of what's been happening. It's been EXTREMELY interesting. I found out my pancreas is doing better than I thought and my problems are mostly my liver and my adrenaline, to a lesser degree - having to be careful not to exercise …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 06:18 AM
2

Protip: What helped me FINALLY make progress on this has been wearing a continuous glucose monitor. I bought it self pay bc I'm not "sick enough" to have insurance pay for it, but it has been TOTALLY worth the money being able to see my blood sugar minute to minute if I want. I have learned a lot and confirmed a lot with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:34 AM
48

Yes. You will be SO much happier after you heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:10 AM
268

When the conversation turns sexual, ask him what his favorite porn types are and why. If he watches it, he will eagerly tell you. Be completely chill the whole time and do NOT dump a guy right after he tells you this, nor tell him what your standards are. If you are not satisfied with his answer, then keep chatting and at some future (but not too far future) time simply tell him you aren't quite feeling it and good bye, good luck. That way he won't realize what made you cut it off and he'll stil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:04 AM
1

I had been reading a bunch about fructose (half of table sugar, which I was always addicted to - because before I went gluten free I couldn't absorb nutrition and was always LITERALLY starving), and how glucose (the other half of table sugar) is processed by every cell in the body but fructose can ONLY be processed by the liver. (from former iquitsugar site and others) They suggest asking for a uric acid lab test and sure enough mine was elevated. From then on it has been interesting observing h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:00 AM
5

Isn't food both amazing and infuriating? Lectins don't hurt me much, but gluten makes me so sick (lots of joint pain and inflammation all over) and my liver hates fructose. It would be more of an interesting detective quest to find out our individual needs if it weren't so drastically affecting our health!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:20 AM
6

That's so specific that it makes me worry - any chance he's stalking you? Or would it make sense that he got an injury and that was the PT office to go to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:40 PM
13

Goosebumps, love this so much!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:29 PM
9

He wasn't doing extravagant gestures or pressuring me in any way - he's a very wordy guy who has a hard time not saying whatever comes into his head. I appreciate the concern, but we've been together over 7 years now and there has been no abuse as always follows love bombing.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 02:20 AM
7

Have you read the handbook? Block and delete.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 11:11 PM
5

If he finds a way around blocking and deleting then tell him ONCE to back off or you'll get the police involved. Then follow up - stalkers are at the least disruptive and at the worst life ending.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 10:54 PM
7

If you're not both "Fuck yes" about each other by now then it's better to cut your losses and find a better match. I had only been on a few dates with my husband (been talking about online several weeks prior) when he started shyly saying how "it's too early to say the L word, but I really like spending time with you." I felt so cozy around him that I didn't have to go back and forth wondering.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 10:52 PM
18

You can't fix stupid. At this point the ONLY possible influence for good you can have on her is by cutting her off and hoping that your absence makes her upset enough to do some introspection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:56 PM
20

OK yeah you are in serious serious danger, please get away asap! In some places there are domestic violence laws that allow you to break a lease with no repercussions if DV is a factor, fyi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 06:14 PM
31

When I first left fundamentalism and started exploring sexuality, I briefly looked at mainstream porn and thought it was crude and gross, but I saw guys claiming how mostly they watched amateur porn because they wanted "real" and "loving" scenes to watch. At the time it didn't really occur to me that amateur porn wasn't 100% consensual exhibitionist couples. I thought some guys were dumb frat boy stereotypes and some were more "sensitive and loving" guys and that they were pretty even in number,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:41 PM
88

Hehe, starting to wonder if these tik-tokers are eavesdropping here, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:08 AM
2

It might take a little to "wake up" those parts, but once you figure it out you'll be amazed. I found bullet vibes underwhelming and people usually suggest starting with those - try hands first, but once you try a vibrator don't assume that one that doesn't work means vibrators as a whole won't work. Have fun!
/r/askFDS21/02/21 06:07 AM
10

This was the most revealing/surprising thing about my HVM husband - I grew up in a "polite," tense, very very very emotionally abusive household (mostly from my father) and so I had done a lot of work to try to learn healthy and proactive ways of approaching disagreements rather than stuffing it until it exploded. He was WAY farther along than me and also is very intuitive/good at reading people. When we argue about something it's usually when the issue is very new and we either sort it out or t…
/r/askFDS21/02/21 06:02 AM
21

I was a late bloomer and very stressed about it, not due to society but due to desire. However it didn't have an impact as such on the quality of my relationships. Also, I refuse to refer to it as losing something - imo it's "making your sexual debut."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:38 PM
3

I love this version of not all men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:21 PM
10

Let him go, let him gooooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:14 PM
78

This story is amazing! He fell in love with a girl in Eastern Germany during the Cold War and spent a year back in his home country learning to fly a plane. He took great risks and went to a lot of expense to fly her out. They got married soon after and she became a doctor. I saw this on a different sub and thought it was amazing and inspirational - she also risked her life meeting him, but clearly he was worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:03 AM
25

Yeah, was raised by extremely religious homeschoolers, no TV, very isolated. But oops, the brainwashing didn't stick!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:11 PM
64

I was deep in fundie land when she was at her peak and had her episode, but I remember what trickled in was a general impression that she was a scary temptress. Then when I escaped fundamentalism and started watching shows I'd missed, listening to music I'd missed, I was like "I love her music! I don't see what was so scary/provocative about this?" But it was only a couple years ago that I started hearing more about her and realized what a terrible situation she'd been stuck in. That song "Lucky…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:05 PM
3

Congrats on leveling up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:50 PM
9

I grew up reading books from the 1800s and early 1900s. As depicted there, plenty of men were terrible, but there were more HVM ones and more men who had to pretend to be HVM their whole lives due to societal pressure. I used to read Louis L'Amour books wherein young mean dudes would challenge the hero, trying to get clout, and he'd beat up or shoot the dreadful young guys. As a kid I thought he was just inventing these incredibly stupid and mean young men, but as I got older I realized with hor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:46 PM
34

I'm sorry you were raped and strangled. Strangling is an indicator of 7x risk of a man killing his partner, and is also NEVER safe no matter what - there is no safe amount of oxygen deprivation to the brain. Please take care of yourself and be very gentle with yourself as you heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:00 AM
61

Yup! AND the men were no worse off in any way. Women should run the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:51 AM
342

If her initiating was the sexiest thing in the world, then WHY IS HE STILL ON THE MARKET?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:35 AM
44

This kind of evolutionary dead is what happens after thousands of years of forcing women to have children with men they aren't attracted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 01:23 AM
19

Girls and boys won’t even be able to look their own fathers in the eyes. Yeah, my dad started out deeply troubled due to child abuse but still with a lot of HVM behaviors (literally built a house for my mom with his own hands), but porn ruined him. I am NC with him now after helping my mother leave his controlling, abusive grasp and it's a relief, but also so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:18 AM
86

You don't have to care about a ring - the point is, he needs to be consistently demonstrating that he is happy to lavishly spend on what makes YOU happy, what YOU want - including frivolous things. It's about attitude. My husband was poor as dirt when we met but still splashed out on me, like taking me into a jewelry store when we met for a cheap walking date at a mall, and asking me repeatedly which pieces I liked. He got me something that was a large portion of his income at the time. He also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:47 AM
423

It sounds like they are both FIRE-oriented (financial independence/retire early) but as usual for a lot of those guys does not spend anywhere close to the amount of energy on relationship planning that they do on financial planning. For lurking scrotes: If you don't want to get her a diamond, get her really nice moissanite/whatever she wants AND THEN throw in $10,000 in index funds in her name, or some similar sort of present that will demonstrate how you intend to care for her generously in ret…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:27 AM
13

Slip it into the conversation that your sister, mom, friend, whatever knows you are on the date/talking to them. Make sure they know there are people backing you up and that you are cautious. This alone would probably scare a lot of predators away from planned rape or worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:05 AM
9

I do luck out that I live somewhere very sunny If you live north of Atlanta (or equivalent latitude in Southern Hemisphere) then you almost certainly cannot physically absorb enough vitamin D from the sun at this time, even if you are sunning every day. Our liver does store it for months but you may be getting low and could use some. Otherwise, her reply was awesome and I send you virtual hugs! Happy Valentine's day :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 10:37 PM
0

Yup! He's probably got some Stockholm Syndrome because it looks like pretty severe abuse (also, fyi in case you ever end up in a similar situation, someone who's paranoid about you cheating and constantly accusing you of it is almost 100% of the time cheating themself. This is not necessary to tell your father, though, as it might make him pull away and try to defend her more right now.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:39 PM
25

Ugh. I still had some pickme qualities when I was about to get engaged so I sent my husband to be and sister some very cheap ring options. He was straight up insulted at the low ball offer and completely refused to buy any of those options. Instead, he and my sister spent an evening together shopping and comparing what I wanted to higher quality and more expensive options before getting me something that was a lot better (and more expensive) than I had asked for. This poor girl definitely needs …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:07 PM
2

That's a really tough situation. She is abusing him and seems she's got him very locked in - it's hard to support someone in that situation without losing your own sanity. If you ever want to show him that it is abuse, you can use https://www.loveisrespect.org/ or something similar. You can't force someone to leave an abuser, though, all you can do is tell them the treatment is wrong and they don't have to stay and tolerate it, and that you have x boundaries in your own home. Good luck...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:49 PM
12

What matters more is: Do you wake up every day and work toward your goals of accomplishment, self-respect, and good boundaries? We are all a work in progress. Some people devolve, others evolve. If you are progressing, that is the point of it all :)
/r/askFDS12/02/21 02:33 AM
20

I wish it wasn't :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:31 AM
99

you put off even naive sheltered young women who dream of homesteading, raising babies and chickens with a bearded manly man. You burst their fairy tale with your ugliness and grotesque entitlement, in a way that “jezebels” never can. Minus the beard, this was me 100%. I started reading the scrotosphere in like 2009 because I was trying to figure men out, see what they wanted, what attracted them, etc. It was and continues to be a truly eye-opening and repulsive experience. At this point, so man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 09:12 PM
17

Yeah, the now old Ro*sh V is a great example of the kind of damage they do to themselves. He realized his life was completely meaningless, went into existential dread, moved back into his mom's basement (I am NOT kidding), tried to make baking bread look like a big hard manly man science thing so he could think he was accomplishing something, became a fundie Christian, and is floundering, just flailing for any sort of meaning/something that takes away the nagging guilt from his many rapes and ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:49 PM
53

I thought there were government censors in China to prevent porn in general? I guess like elsewhere, dick and money can bend the rules. I suggest probably starting by raising feminist consciousness everywhere, person to person, small group meetings (online now I guess until COVID is over), reading feminist books and exchanging support. Studies have shown you only need 3.5% of a population protesting for or against something to make it happen, but before that can happen you need to really spread …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:55 PM
26

I don’t like gardening the front of my house as I don’t like the thought of someone watching me or bending over. Ugh this is also me! When we first moved in I was planting all these things in front and a (very fat, repulsive) man started riding by on his tiny bike repeatedly and making extremely crude comments. He was so disgusting I made my husband accompany me for the rest of the project and now I do the backyard and he does the front. The audacity of that gross blob (literally shaped like a m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:33 PM
39

Completely true. With my LVM ex, when still in the courting phase he said a small sentence that really took me aback. I consulted my mother and best friend at the time (both pickmeishas) and they both said I was overreacting, guys always joke like that, blah blah blah. My instincts were right. I don't regret that relationship, because I learned SO much, but I'm still made about getting gaslit into giving him a pass on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 09:06 PM
11

It's a maddening and exhausting situation to be trying to support someone in that situation. I think it's important to restrain yourself any time you feel triggered into being a rescuer - she can rescue herself and being too intense about it can backfire. From the research I've done, just staying in touch in a normal friend way and occasionally telling her she doesn't deserve that, she's strong enough to leave him if she wants, is the most successful strategy in many situations. She'll know you'…
/r/askFDS09/02/21 05:23 AM
30

If you know his family information, send the message to his mom and let her deal with him. For you, block him and delete the messages, then tra-la-la-la about your life.
/r/askFDS09/02/21 05:15 AM
2

hahahaha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:03 PM
3

Gross, the audacity is so strong! Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 06:00 PM
28

Yup. I was horrified when I realized in the old days men used to fetishize women who were dying of consumption. There is no end to the depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 03:39 AM
1

Yeah, there were some good points made, but I've literally lost long time crushes on celebrities instantly when hearing they got a girlfriend. It was actually really distressing the first couple times I experienced that. I think the only time I experienced a crush on a guy who was taken was when I was 18 and a total mess, but for some reason it's never happened since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:51 AM
49

Yeah, it's shocking, lol! He proved to me that trying to build a man is futile - he was horribly abused by his parents and used to walk miles in the hot sun to go to therapy because they wouldn't take him as a teen. He went through many hardships because of PTSD, mental health, physical health as an adult but still got educated and worked when able, didn't get addicted to drugs or alcohol, and basically just kept trying and struggling to get better and to be a good person. He treats other people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:10 PM
136

It's hard because they do so much nodding while internally thinking otherwise OR they preach it so much. My husband has some qualities that are very unusual - he will speak out online and in conversations (I've seen it happen a lot) to tell people to stop talking that way/their joke sucked/they are being racist or misogynist etc. He gets a LOT of abuse for it, but his best friends and him support each other in doing that. He is generous but not ostentatious - one of his fave pre-COVID things was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:26 AM
8

I'd be willing to help if approved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:05 AM
14

Haha awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 05:13 AM
15

I would suggest working on your self confidence, self love, and attachment style with friends and family first. This will also almost inevitably entail lowering contact/cutting off contact with people you realize are not healthy to be around - it's not just about your "issues," it's about not letting more "poison" into your life and it's hard work to start recognizing these things and challenging yourself when appropriate. If you then decide you want to date, you will know when you are ready.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 12:45 AM
100

Yeah, we should be saying "Teach men to be terrified of the consequences of raping." That way we'd get somewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:15 AM
63

Most animals exercise cautiousness as a matter of course. Exactly what I was going to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:44 PM
26

Ugh. As far as I can tell from the actual research out there, serial killers tend to have five things in common: Male, psychopaths (dysfunctional mirror neurons, no natural empathy), severe abuse as a child, hatred of women, and a head injury at some point. And no, blaming his mom for his being a serial killer is ridiculous. Even if his mother did abuse him, plenty of people are severely abused and do not go on to become killers. As to pedophiles, they are the only group of people I would never …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 07:20 PM
24

Nice in theory, but in practice would be a flaming dumpster of human rights violations and stalkers. Wish it was possible, though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 07:02 PM
149

EXCELLENT Post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:21 PM
32

I actually have suggested this in other places - Vasalgel is an injection that functions like a vasectomy but can be instantly reversed. It is non-hormonal and very very safe. It lasts about a decade at a time, I believe. How about we start offering that and all services related to reproduction for FREE? How about before boys can be considered men and have all the rights and privileges thereof, they must get Vasalgel. Throughout their life, it must be kept up to date on pain of jail. If and when…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:20 AM
21

Wait WHAT?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:52 AM
23

Yikes :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:49 AM
23

Yeah, I think pit bulls should be sterilized out of existence or regulated like owning lions and tigers because of how they have been bred and how you can't "train out" instincts - but men are responsible for a FUCKTON more damage to everything. Men are a much bigger problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:48 AM
149

Lololol. Guess they thought you'd rounded up your height like they did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:35 AM
8

Yay for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:34 AM
11

Good grief, what a load of whiners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:33 AM
11

Aww, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 09:28 PM
83

I felt that way for a long time. Guess what, I was at least 60 lbs overweight on meeting my HVM husband - he actually likes chubby/fat ladies though supports my weight loss efforts. I started (very suddenly) getting super popular with guys when I decided to PRETEND I was a total femme fatale beauty queen. I forced myself to act that way, dress that way, walk that way, evaluate guys from that perspective... I was actually very poor at the time but somehow the mindset shift did amazing things. Don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 08:11 PM
44

Yeah. I read that even when they DO enslave us - like in Antebellum US - the women often managed to find the right herbs to make it so babies were extremely rare. Women are brave and we resist however we can, so scrotes should just learn how to be decent people and decide children are a privilege they are willing to work for, i.e., change a few diapers, earn money, read bedtime stories, cook sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:13 PM
5

Thank you for this gem!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 04:16 AM
17

If you are a total newbie on stock market concepts I DO NOT recommend trying to get in on this craze. You need to know the basic concepts first. The personalfinance and financial independents subs are a good place to start first, get an idea of what's out there, what's achievable, what is dangerous... the more we women know about investing the better for the world. We are better at it than men once we know what's what :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:35 PM
120

I did NOT know it was the woman. WOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 05:04 AM
175

Yes exactly. There was a real life Lord of the Flies accidental experiment in Tonga https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/may/09/the-real-lord-of-the-flies-what-happened-when-six-boys-were-shipwrecked-for-15-months that ended up extremely harmonious and organized. A lot of kids in tribal cultures will also share even a stick of gum with 10 of their best friends. WEIRD people are basically zoo animals/lab rats with horrendously unnatural lifestyles creating many many pathologies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 05:04 AM
20

Yeah, it's like maybe ladies should not only make sure he's a good man but also require a "down payment" of like 2 million dollars with a prenup that it stays with us no matter what just in order to marry and have children with a guy. That way they might spend years pampering a secretly resentful dude, but at least they have money that will grow and keep them from ever being impoverished. Only problem of course is that means there would be like 15 children born per year in the whole country, lol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:16 PM
6

Both Contrapoints and Jordan Peterson are dangerous misogynists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 11:35 PM
3

I struggle with how to view sex work. Until women who engage in it are a. automatically millionaires because they are so well paid b. respected by their ALL their clients c. not at more risk of violence d. not overwhelmingly victims of child molestation e. always there by choice and not trafficked and f. not stigmatized in future life, then you don't have to develop a very nuanced view. You can just say "It's bad for women and men don't deserve that option anyway," and leave it at that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 11:10 PM
5

I want to help prevent vaginal prolapse, not how to make someone who's watched too much porn cum. I recommend googling every single article Katy Bowman has written on the pelvic floor, then. She's a freaking magician of a teacher and has really helped my general health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:48 PM
11

I want to help prevent vaginal prolapse, not how to make someone who's watched too much porn cum. I recommend googling every single article Katy Bowman has written on the pelvic floor, then. She's a freaking magician of a teacher and has really helped my general health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:48 PM
32

They did before patriarchy was invented, but then arranged marriages became heavily the norm over most of the world. Not sure how you think the last 5000 years or more (since at least Sargon of Akkad) have involved women having much choice. I do hope that women will be able to stomp out much of the current misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:47 PM
100

Truth. Imagine how different the world might be if patriarchy had never been invented and women had been allowed to choose their mates as other animals do, looking for the best qualities...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:57 PM
40

Sounds like my husband. He's been abused a lot, but a surprising amount of it was simply because he refused to join in typical bro culture. #masculinitysofragile like seriously these scrotes are ridiculous. And it's a tragedy that so many women are so 100% slaves to the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:29 PM
22

OK I love this whole comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:26 PM
4

Ugh, the one song I remember every time I think about ZVM music is How Do You Like Me Now by Toby Keith. I heard it once and my jaw was on the floor, like he sounds like a legit psychopath!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:22 PM
24

Yeah, so many guys out there play with that stuff like they're at a casino. No, you almost certainly cannot beat the market - buy index funds and let them ride. Flipping houses is a great way to go super broke. Maybe learn how to invest in buy and hold rental properties instead. Or for another example, all those guys who went boom and bust in bitcoin and then discovered that oops, it was trackable after all and now they owe taxes on like $300,000 that they USED to have!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:17 PM
5

Hehe so true! I've heard lots of women say they looooove beards SO MUCH, but I've noticed that they never ever told me that before their guy started to grow his beard out. Meanwhile guys fall all over themselves talking about, bragging about, and envying big beards. Scrotes are weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:52 PM
21

Selfie in front of a fancy car - block asap. Probably a narcissist, definitely thinks women are attracted to cars like he is. Pretentious hand on chin pose - thinks he's really smart, will "educate" you i.e. bore you with long lectures, and just generally not great. Guys with the currently popular lumberjack look of shaved sides of head, huge beard - bonus points if the longer hair on top of his head is pulled into a man bun. MAJOR DOUCHE vibes. Ew, going to dip out of the thread here just think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:19 AM
28

Yeah, even good man have some misogyny. They fight it, but there is some there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 01:17 AM
17

michelangelo effect It's when romantic partners feel like they sculpt each other into the best versions of themselves - I feel like I'm a better person because of his presence in my life, and he feels the same way about me (heh, he even lost his white hair streak and had it turn regular colored again after meeting me).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 09:09 PM
6

Yeah, it took years and years of knowing it was an option and thinking about it before I decided that no matter how people approached him (to try to stop him abusing my mom), he would never ever choose to be different and it was finally okay (after getting her away for good) to drop him. Still somewhat fresh so I'm still feeling more and more relief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 09:05 PM
7

This is a great post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 07:47 PM
29

Ugh, my abusive father did that to me all the time - he'd start hovering over my shoulder demanding I wish dishes a specific, harder (but not actually better) way and then watching while I did the rest of the dishes, continually picking at me. If I showed any discomfort, whether sadness or anger, he'd scold me for having a bad attitude. If I ignored him and stuffed all my emotions, he'd scold me for not paying attention to him. He wanted me to smile at him and basically hug and worship him for g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 07:21 PM
35

Yes!!! I was at least 60 lbs overweight on meeting my husband. However, I had recently decided to treat myself as if I thought was super hot (even though I didn't). I bought nice clothes, started posting selfies more than once a year, went out more with friends, tried to remember not to suck in my stomach all the time, forbade myself from critical self thoughts, and generally acted the way I thought a super hot and aware of it woman would. For the first time in my life, I was getting a TON of ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 06:49 PM
2

You were smart and blocked him, so now you just need to build your self esteem and your commitment to your own wellbeing - eventually it will get so that even if one day he does manage to contact you, you will simply laugh without feelings and block him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:09 PM
8

Yeah, I think I knew this before but not in so few words, like I've been slowly realizing over years now how men as a class really think about women as a class, and realizing how most women get trapped because they project their own good qualities on the man, but the whole circle bit just hit me tonight. Just, damn. Also explains why good men just don't hate women - they might hate a few who genuinely did them wrong, but they do not approach women as a class with expectations of hating them, bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:24 PM
3

Yeah it's incredibly frustrating when they do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:22 PM
3

Ugh I need to read that book... my poor mom spent her entire marriage in Reality II trying to talk to my dad in Reality I. I feel almost guilty how great I feel with my Reality II relationship compared to what she endured, while usually blaming herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:21 PM
14

Yeah, any time a scrote starts acting like he suspects you might be cheating, he is 100% trying to cheat and should be dropped and deleted in a split second.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:19 PM
26

PLEASE do not amputate parts of yourself just to look better to a scrote! If it's causing any physical discomfort, try growing out your bush, as that is meant to keep things friction-free and also more hygienic. Cherish all of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:00 AM
46

Honestly I'm inclined to tell single moms here to never fucking allow male partners into their homes until the kids are all moved out. I'm sorry but step dads being molesters is so nauseatingly common and the moms almost never expect it/ignore red flags. Completely agree. Never ever "blend families" until all the kids are 18.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:16 PM
16

I think it sounds perfect for you and he sounds sweet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:50 AM
4

Hahah brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:30 AM
34

Also, he said that men have gotten us this far in human civilization knowing what's best for US! Hahaha gotten us this far, meaning we're about to all GO EXTINCT due to scrotal choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:22 PM
1

So true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:06 PM
2

I would recommend Right Wing Women by Dworkin first (link to read it free) https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=aeIFYK7FLY-wsAX9u7iADg&q=right+wing+women+dworkin&oq=right+wing+women+dworkin&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzoFCC4QkwI6CAguELEDEIMBOgIIADoICC4QxwEQowI6CAgAELEDEIMBOgsILhCxAxDHARCjAjoFCAAQsQM6CwguELEDEIMBEJMCOgUILhCxAzoLCAAQsQMQgwEQyQM6CwguELEDEMcBEK8BOgoILhDHARCjAhAKOgIILjoECAAQCjoLCAAQsQMQgwEQxwM6BQgAEMkDUIytA1jAzANg_s0DaABwAHgAgAGcAYgBlBiSAQQwLjI0mAEAoAEBqgEHZ3dzLXdpeg&sclient=psy-ab&ved…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 07:36 PM
4

I'm glad you're feeling better, but calling women butterface? Criticizing other women in a vague way for being sexual or appearing sexual to you? That is not feminist or FDS - you seem to still have some internalized misogyny to deal with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:21 AM
15

Yeah, not gonna lie I carefully looked at about 2000 profiles in my estimation before finding my husband. I don't think I'd have it in me to do it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 04:38 AM
51

Every single man at the cafe is a predator or wannabe predator. Sad truth. Straight women have to dig through piles of shit to find one good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:47 AM
6

Yeah, he's a real family man who just wants to get drunk and do drugs with his family and never wavers on that :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 10:16 PM
17

Yeah, it's very weird how much men both pay attention to us and can be afraid of us just based on body language. I think this is a main reason why awful dudes hate on horse women so much - our body language scares them. I used to think I was so ugly because the guys I liked never hit on me. I changed my body language and boom, lots of dates - most of them weren't worth it, though. Now I'm back to my natural body language and husband is a fan, but other guys mostly leave me alone, while husband's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 10:13 PM
13

Congrats! I also recommend the the financialindependence sub for those looking to learn about investing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:14 PM
23

:( Yeah, I realized this year that one of my brothers is not "ignorant," but stubborn and full of resentment against women and really anyone who crosses him. It really sucks but my life is a lot better having put him on very low contact. I just miss the time when I respected him and felt like we were on the same team.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:19 AM
44

Exactly. The opposite is also true - someone who wants to mistreat you will invent reasons why you deserve bad treatment. Interestingly, the original economy around the world was a gift economy. People freely shared things around and food and goods went back and forth, enriching everyone as needed, before agriculture arrived. It was hard to store a whole deer or a harvest of bananas, for example, without modern technology, so you gave it to the whole village. Then when someone else went fishing,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:17 AM
5

I know the feeling of doubt - but I think they do exist! Recently discovered how much I like the feeling of a 60-second foot rub and husband has been doing it every single day without prompting. It's the latest in a long line of thoughtful things. After 7 years I'm starting to believe he's real ;D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:50 PM
55

Yeah, I saw a little bit of that and turned off my computer then and there. If I ever get divorced/widowed I don't ever want to try again, the unknowns are too SCARY. I don't understand how "people" like this even exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:14 AM
3

The Scarlet Pimpernel - I always recommend this to people! It's about two people who are already married at the start of the book, but barely speak. It's set during the French Reign of Terror and involves accidental betrayal, secret identities, a totally yummy HV hero who will undergo all sorts of physical hardship for his love, a brave and intelligent and strong-willed woman who doesn't take shit and has strong morals, and a secondary romance that will also make you swoon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 06:33 AM
56

Yeah, she liked teaching women about self defense and her husband apparently died of a broken heart within weeks of her death. HVW all the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:58 AM
16

Once my dog stopped it, another time the guy's dog wouldn't stop getting between us and then, I swear to all of you, put his paw on my crotch and death stared his own owner! Wow, I totally believe you - what a good dog!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:24 AM
14

So true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:49 PM
-11

Er, unpopular opinion here but pit bulls aren't "lawful good" - it's not their fault, but they were bred for incredible courage in blood sports, and specifically in dog fighting, which leads to traits like 1. Not signalling before they attack b. Attacking without cause and persisting against all kinds of pain c. Jumping through windows and doors to target their prey. They are vastly overbred, make up about 6% of the dog population but are responsible for the majority of dog bite fatalities and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:47 PM
25

I'm so glad Joe was there for you! And yes, women are definitely stronger together - it's amazing how clarifying and genuinely empowering it is to talk to other women about our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:57 AM
7

So sweet!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:17 PM
15

It sounds like either way you choose you'll be able to be happy since you've done so much work on your self worth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:54 PM
31

A 10 year old??? Ahhhhhhhhh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:36 PM
42

What an evil scrote, never ceases to amaze how mean they can be. And he's so weasely trying to make himself look better than his dreadful selfish self - hope she dumps him and he's homeless until he learns to appreciate nice people and pay his own way in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:31 PM
1

I'm so glad she's still making other people happy :D I could rave about her or horses in general for hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:43 AM
1

Horses are INCREDIBLE. She was SUCH a sweetie - horses are very large and powerful but as prey animals are easily frightened and often "shy away" (i.e. jump away) from things sudden movements/things they can't quite figure out. Shortly after I first got her I realized we were bonded when I was leading her down a road and saw a large lizard out of the corner of my eye. At first I thought it was a rattlesnake so I jumped several inches in the air. My little mare shied and snorted in reaction to my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:32 AM
2

I had parents and a surrounding culture that was all about forgiveness, which was NOT helpful to me as the scapegoat child. Until my mid 20s I would express rage by crying, which was super frustrating. Before I started really researching healthy emotions and relationships, my horse really helped me express anger - I realized if I visited her in a bad mood but tried to be cheerful around her (because I loved her so much and she deserved ALL the kisses and treats EVER) she would be nervous and a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:12 AM
3

Men are definitely more susceptible to the addictive effects of video games. I do have two games that I've played for years, but they are "boring" (i.e. non violent) games and easy to put down when I have other things to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:42 PM
3

I agree re: the lead, in fact my husband's older brother was born when lead was still around and he's a TERRIBLE person and my husband was born after and is adorable sweetie pie. May not be the only cause, but still... I also think that's why boomers get worse and worse, the effects of lead are known to increase over time. I do know the military uses video games to try to get soldiers desensitized to shooting real people. I'm not a fundie going around saying "Let's get rid of everything fun!" bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:41 PM
47

He's an idiot. Also, "videogames don't make people violent?" What about all those white terrorists we've been seeing in increasing numbers, who just so happen to have been raised on videogames, use gamer language and tactics in their attacks, and sometimes even stream them like a game? He must be young though, thinking that few people turn out shitty. The older I get the more I realize just how MANY people turn out that way, sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:00 AM
6

Ugh, they are like toddlers talking to themselves out loud, "I shouldn't eat the cookie" while they slowly reach for it. I've heard LVM in private who genuinely think a woman is into them simply because she invited him to sit next to her when he was standing around looking lonely at a party. Men are so weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:16 AM
2

There's research showing women need to enjoy a man's natural smell in order for the chemistry to be good. It is and was very hard for me to be attracted to the vast majority of men out there, partly because scrotes but also I strongly believe because most men drown their natural scent in chemical smells as opposed to being clean. The two men I've dated seriously, including my husband, were not fans of wearing much fragrance and I liked the way they smelled. I have also passed on many guys who ei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:09 AM
6

Aww, your grandpa sounds sweet! And yes that was ABSOLUTELY the standard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:16 AM
6

Why do we still set this standard that our whole relationship is going to be determined by the time men are going to use our body for sex? I think in FDS they are trying to give women guidelines to go by because so many of us have learned to give up our own boundaries and ignore our intuition. It's not about playing games but about learning self worth and being safe. If you know a man is HVM, you are confident in your ability to maintain boundaries and walk at any moment, and you want to sleep w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 11:44 PM
5

I agree with all the others saying a HVM will know quickly whether or not he wants to make a future with you. There are many possible "The Ones" for each person in this world, and a HVM would not TELL you that he thinks you are the one he is in love with/wants to choose for life partner until several months had gone by, but he will show how much he cares about you with his actions. A guy who tells you early on is just love bombing and a guy who doesn't show it doesn't feel it. So pay attention t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:13 PM
7

I would be recommending this to everyone EXCEPT that personality disorders like sociopathy, narcissism, and antisocial personality disorders all have significant amounts of heritability and there's no way to screen for those in donors. If I was going it alone I'd probably try to connect with someone that seemed like an HVM on the outskirts of my social circle and ask for a donor contract from him, as the idea of raising a little psychopath is quite scary. There are never guarantees with kids, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:16 AM
8

Poor dear. I've experienced the hollow feeling depression and what started the recovery for me was mass amounts of vitamin D3.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:19 PM
8

I had a gardener try to mansplain tree respiration to me - when I brought up something about one of my native plants and it's water needs as opposed to the more conventional garden plants around it. He wouldn't stop mansplaining either, just got into a loop where he idiotically kept telling me how it worked. One of the dumbest convos I've ever suffered through in person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:38 PM
12

Great post! And yes, there were so few HVM around me that for a long time I didn't believe they existed. I still can barely believe they exist, tbh, despite being married to someone who has acted HVM for the last 7 years. I chose to act AS IF I believed they existed and to act AS IF I deserved one, but it was very very difficult. The more we can inspire other women to demand better, the better the world will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:26 PM
3

Awwwww!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:41 PM
45

"There is no form of legal male power equivalent to the power that an attractive women in her late teens, early twenties has to a man two to three times her age." I think this truth is the root of why libfems are always yammering about anything to do with sex being empowering... sure, you can reduce a man to stuttering, favor-giving imbecile at that age by dressing super hot, but that doesn't mean you'll get things you want. You have the power to (probably) ruin his life by getting him to dump h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:38 AM
6

Totally!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:28 PM
10

A child who has an intellectual passion-- like playing music, participating in the arts or sports, getting lost in novels or engaging in activism (like Greta Thurnberg, etc.)-- whatever preserves some sense of magic in the world through discipline and fascination-- has a means of keeping the best part of their joyous inner three year old alive for the rest of their lives and also helps to ease the transition to adult awareness You are so insightful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:08 PM
6

Yeah, I hate that I know that without even watching the show... but I used to be into fundie snark so I heard a lot about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:02 PM
35

How is the world did those ratty ass men end up with such beautiful women? Heh, they were actually all super clean cut preppy types before deciding to do the show and cultivating those personas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:56 PM
34

I hear every single piece of advice anyone has given me in my life in why I shouldn’t do something. What changed this for me is when I started searching for advice on HOW to do what I wanted to do, instead of "what might go wrong." It really energized and propelled me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:46 PM
15

Yeah, she believed the libfem lies about empowerment and exploring your sexuality and all she has gotten from it is pain, massive pain. If men were a different species, women could act the way libfems want us to. But they're not, so we have to protect ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:00 PM
93

Her boyfriend basically used BDSM as a method to physically assault her for doing online sex work. Exactly, stories like this make me SO ANGRY. Freaking scum in a radioactive waste tank of a scrote. Also, poor Mia - despite being like the most popular porn actress ever, only made I think $12,000 from her 3 month career and lost her family, has massive social consequences, very reduced job opportunities, and suffered so much during her scenes that she used to pass out from dissociating. Someone s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:27 AM
31

I've seen other subreddits that say the FDS advice only works if you're very attractive. Don't listen to them. I have been quite fat since before meeting my husband. When I realized some guys were attractive and committed to treating myself as if I was as beautiful and worthy as an Instagram model, I had guys flocking to me. I was basically following FDS, though this was a long time before the sub started. I met my HVM husband rapidly and he was all in - and always talks about my attitude as bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:26 AM
5

Yeah, in almost every case I think it's a sign things are over. That said, we've done a little preemptive counseling, like visiting husband's therapist when he was having more issues than usual (goes weekly for decades due to abusive childhood) or at the start we went a couple times due to moving in together issues. Those sessions did help, but we weren't in bad shape before. I've seen couples use "Kounseling" to drag out a dead marriage WAY longer than it should have gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:54 AM
3

It's so sad! If you read books from the 1800s, girls were still PLAYING WITH DOLLS at age 14.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:47 AM
7

Also married! It's helped me with other men I'm related to also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:19 AM
9

I like this idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:09 AM
3

Start here https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/1234-we-like-our-pelvic-floor/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 01:19 AM
74

So true! When I was 18 and working my first job, I was soooo confused that on days when I was starting my period and in serious pain from cramps, pale, sometimes sweaty, etc. that so many old creeps would flirt with me very obviously, like 90% of all flirting happened on that one or two days a month. I wondered for years if they were attracted to super pale skin or something? It took a really long time to admit to myself that no, they saw that I looked weak and vulnerable and were swooping in to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:59 PM
30

One of the reasons women have more tilt to their lumbar spine is so that we can fit a uterus in there. I wish so hard that someone had told me in my early teens that I was supposed to have a tiny tummy, that it wasn't fat but that was where my uterus and bladder were. Would have saved me SOOO much stress and dieting. There are some crazy stop-motion videos out there of just how much our organs move when we are pregnant - pregnancy is wild. Like, we end up with way more water in our blood, the fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:11 PM
26

Yeah, they should go to jail for this. Lazy traitors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:24 PM
37

It's SOOOO enraging, like WHY are men so lazy even in preventing terrorism? And this is far from the first time, domestic violence is a VERY well known link to terrorism at this time. When the girlfriend TELLS you what is happening, it's like a gd gift from the heavens to be able to prevent a tragedy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:24 PM
19

Exactly!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:22 PM
27

Can I just say her makeup is fulfilling a deep previously unknown need in me - I HAVE to copy it now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:32 AM
5

Yeah, go for it! After having my roof redone this year (it's my house in my name so I hire the contractors, not my husband) I got really fascinated with roofing. There are machines now that can raise the super heavy roof tiles to the roof and I keep wondering about female roofing company, if it would be possible. In the past I had my own trade business and did very well, because although there was some sexism, my just having BASIC manners and showing up on time/doing what I said I would do gave …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:24 AM
5

I would love to start a business someday hiring and training female plumbers. They would work two at a time for safety and make money hand over fist... ah...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:57 PM
8

THIS THIS THIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 08:18 PM
5

People who equate education with intelligence are ALWAYS dumb - intelligence is an inborn thing, education increases over a lifetime. I'm sorry you have to deal with him in any form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:48 PM
19

I feel terrible for this girl. In her place I might have committed murder, but she is so gaslit already that she doesn't think she has a right to be mad, even when he's all excited and laughing in her face about her distress!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:17 AM
2

My husband is one of my best friends, and my other is my sister. About 6 years ago I broke off a platonic bff relationship due to toxicity and I still miss her more than any boyfriends. Female friendships are so so strong, especially when they formed your young adulthood. My sister is awesome and "gets" certain things in a way my husband never will, but my husband might know me better than she does. I feel an increasing need for female friends, though, as COVID has brought into focus how importa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:56 AM
22

Exactly. This is why I can't recommend women use sperm banks, because how can you vet him for personality disorders?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:25 AM
7

Yeah, it's due diligence, not snooping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:20 AM
60

Yeah, it's their own faults for taking it as a sign of interest. They should learn to give each other compliments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:27 AM
17

Interesting, I do agree that DV leads to ill health and early death in many cases. I don't think Carrie's problems started with Harrison Ford, though, she had inherited bipolar disease which often leads to self medicating with drugs of various types. She underwent a lot of electroshock therapy over the years and could not remember large chunks of her life due to that. I did hear of a funny story she told about some Hollywood guy bothering a young female friend of hers and supposedly Carrie sent …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:32 AM
27

Exactly!!! Also, it's very revealing if you tell a scrote complaining about lack of dating success to do market research by reading romance novels - they are ALWAYS too lazy to read even one! They deserve to die alone with no offspring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 11:37 PM
5

The ungodly awful hours for medical people started with an early influential doctor... who was experimenting on himself with cocaine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 09:36 PM
35

If I were him, I'd be living the fucking life and delighting in some extra pleasure with her on the off weeks instead of trying to find a way to ruin a good thing. Why are they..like this? What is this defect? Yeah, WHY can't they just be happy with their charmed life???? I'd be hiring and managing the maid and personal chef myself and making sure she comes home to a beautiful relaxing house every now, and taking her on adventures on her weeks off. Like seriously this guy is DUMB.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 09:13 PM
9

Pay local crackheads to give him a visit or two That is a great idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:48 PM
10

They do want women oppressed, it's not an accident that women killing an attacker often get very long prison sentences for "murder."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:47 PM
6

Perfect!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:13 AM
11

Hahaha too true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:12 AM
7

I used to do that. Time helps of course, but also reminding yourself firmly of the bad things he did. And then I used to fantasize about going past him with my new guy and not even noticing him there. Then it went to I'd feel bad for him if I did run into him. Now it's meh, I'd forgotten I used to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:10 AM
18

Congrats! You will find that as you move up in life and achieve more and more goals that people will try to hold you back and even sabotage you. It's very frustrating, especially when you want to HELP people by talking about it, but my best advice is not to talk much, never justify what you are achieving, and only give advice very sparingly to those who seem appreciative. Subs like r/financialindependence and blogs by financial queens will give you the inspiration and companionship you need for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:01 AM
3

lolol! I'm related to some of these names, sooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 04:24 AM
22

Haha. I know this is a joke, but also in my experience any man whose name means "gift of God" is terrible, so avoid Nathan/Nathaniel/Jonathan/Theodore...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:17 AM
14

Courage is the foundation of all virtues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:59 AM
5

What a great guy! I'm even more impressed, knowing how rare it is for guys to come out of that background and actually get enough therapy to be good people!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 10:28 PM
14

Yeah, if I ever give birth my priorities for who is in the room are a. doula b. my mother c. my husband. And hopefully I could find a birthing center to do it in, instead of a hospital or at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 06:52 PM
32

Two female family members stayed with me for several weeks recently, one escaping a bad situation. It was very interesting watching them watch me & husband - they've always liked him, but they STUDIED him and you could see the wheels turning in their heads as they compared him to the LVM in our family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:01 AM
21

Well, balancing the actual risk of serious injury and cost, I'd say backpacking, rock climbing with ropes, trampolines, lifting heavy weights, kayaking, roller skates/blades (but not roller derby), dog sports, tae kwon do, things like that. I personally love everything to do with horses, but both risk and cost are high in that one... sigh. Anything that makes you have to really push yourself farther than you think you can go and conquer fears. Even learning public speaking could do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:20 AM
8

The main issue I have with this is, how can a woman possibly vet to make sure she's not getting psychopath/sociopath/narc sperm? If there was a solid 95% accurate guarantee I'd be recommending it to every woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:58 AM
38

Yup! I think more women need to try extreme/challenging sports so they can have adrenaline rushes OUTSIDE of their relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:18 PM
13

Four?!? Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 07:52 PM
3

I'm beginning to believe more strongly that a man will love you if you fulfill his major need and fit in the right box with his childhood wounds. I think you're right... my husband and I both experienced "attractions of deprivation" in previous relationships, but our relationship now is a bit different. We have weird damage that fits snugly, like his family yelled a lot and was very physically abusive. He thinks it's hot to bicker in an affectionate way, so we do that a lot. My family was keyed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 06:37 PM
10

Well, Brene Brown's research on vulnerability shows that a certain amount of calculated risk makes us happier overall. What I did getting into my relationship-now-marriage is made him promise that either of us would take the step to honorably end it if we ever realized it was necessary. I've already done this with my first love, though I was completely terrified making that decision, so I trust myself to do it if I ever need to - I hope it's not necessary, but I think I can trust MYSELF. I think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:27 AM
4

As another "chonky" girl, I totally know what you mean! I worked so hard on myself for so many years and really worried that I was wasting all this effort on building the foundation right - then I met my now husband and was tempted to run, because I was JUST starting to taste being the belle of the ball for the first time in my life. But I knew I'd be an idiot to run. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I feel in a weird woo way that this applies to love, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 09:58 PM
3

I hope this guy faces his bursting at the seams closeted gay self and leaves women alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 06:30 PM
13

Would Enola Holmes be cool enough for him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 05:30 AM
2

I wasn't criticizing you, just giving a heads up is all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:37 PM
27

My husband has a flaw of quick temper. He still controls his tongue when furious, never intimidates with body language, does not swear at anyone when angry, either discusses it if possible or asks for time to cool down, and then comes back later. He also gets angry about reasonable things to be angry about. He does NOT get angry because I asked him to do a chore, or because his computer had an issue, or because he felt like someone looked at him wrong. I feel safe around him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:40 AM
9

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:35 AM
2

He also does a ton on social media, a whole lot of informative pictures, videos, interviews, posts etc including highlighting all kinds of good things being done around the world. It's one of the reasons I haven't deleted my FB yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:36 AM
43

Clymer is a horrible horrible person, so can't upvote this on principle, sorry. But yeah, Christie is a sad person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:11 AM
1

No, but a quick look at her wiki says I better research her :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:52 AM
2

Yup, big fan! Have you checked out Rob? Super inspirational!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:41 AM
37

Congrats!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 11:17 PM
8

Ugh, gross. Actual DECENT anti-work/capitalism men like Daniel Suelo, Rob Greenfield, & Mark Boyle put a LOT of thought into their philosophies, they put a LOT of work into finding a living situation in which they give back in non-money ways to those around them, and just generally work hard at improving society - just without relying on money. This dude is an ass who would starve in less than 3 months if he wasn't allowed to mooch on anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 11:15 PM
13

I've started evaluating every single man I run across by if he lives up to the standards an ordinary woman lives up to. Mind blowing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:35 AM
20

Never date a man who agrees with spanking children or animals. YES! I was raised super fundie, so spanking was PaRT of gOOd PareNTing, but I worked through my beliefs and realized they were wrong about spanking as well. The FIRST time I asked my now husband if he was looking to have kids in the future, he blurted out "Yes, but I don't want to spank them." I was like "woohoo!" inside. He said later that he didn't know why that was the first thing he said and that at the time he still thought mayb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 12:19 AM
35

Damn, that would be so fun to go dancing and have him so excited the whole time! He sounds amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:02 AM
2

I just saw this! What kind of novels is the first question, there's a huge variety! Regency, Victorian, Edwardian, Civil War, World Wars, modern etc for time, marriage of convenience, soldier boy, firefighter, doctor, billionaire, best friends to lovers, cowboy, enemies to lovers, adventure story, thriller, detective and many more varieties. Plus, what level of steam does the reader want, clean with only fade to black bedroom scenes, slightly spicy, steamy, super freakin' hot? So many lovely cho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:29 PM
22

I can't watch this. I remember learning how men used to fetishize women dying of tuberculosis and being shocked and appalled, men as a class are so terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:20 PM
13

AND a man who goes and rescues vulnerable young women from predators, without asking for anything in return from his crush or even telling her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:16 PM
3

Good for you! If he wants to work on it, I suggest having him read John Gottman's work, especially the stuff about men and how they "flood" easily in arguments. It's up to him to learn healthy coping mechanisms, IF that is what is causing him to stonewall. If it's just him not wanting to step up, then yeah, bye bye him. Stonewalling is actually one of the "four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:15 PM
17

Besides what everyone else is saying, he doesn't know anything about hunter gatherer life. For some reason the sheer ignorance about that really bugs me. He uses that as an excuse for his lack of working on his emotional health, but he's not even close to living a hunter gatherer lifestyle????????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 01:32 AM
7

Men also have a spectrum of definitions of what it is to be a slut. Exactly. My grandfather once told me as I was painting my toenails that "in his day, only 'fast' girls had painted toenails." He was clearly trying to shame me about it and get me to conform better. I was ALREADY a severe goody-two-shoes who had never been on a date!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:38 PM
3

He is a total sweetie pie! :D Aw, thanks! I was trying to show how we don't need to be young graceful models with tinkling laughs and no rough edges in order for a man to love us - but yeah, seeing myself through his eyes has been quite nice :) Best of luck to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:02 PM
51

When we don’t demand partnership from men, none of us gets it. Exactly. I strongly recommend any woman who is going to be a stay at home mom first make sure that he is the type of man who will be providing well (ambitious, focused, good soft skills, doesn't 'get bored' and start over all the time) and then have an iron clad prenup. Many men have a midlife crisis when their kids are high school age, so let's say the wife's goal is to have 1 million dollars to herself should they split. The SAHM w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:54 PM
13

Oh I'm so sorry, I had no idea that you had done a vow renewal! Really sorry you had to deal with a scrote like that, hope you are feeling much better nowadays!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:12 PM
26

I watched it with intrigue like TV. Exactly! I never saw much porn because the stereotypical blond girl doing anal and fake moaning was so repulsive, but I thought men were just dummies who believed the fake moaning and got off to watching a few minutes of that. I knew there were snuff films and child porn out there, but I thought the men who enjoyed things like that and hardcore porn were RARE and that most men would back out of something like that as quickly as I would have. It haunts me how w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:04 PM
2

I'd go further and say if he doesn't bring the condom topic up/bring it out without reminding, then walk away and block and delete. If you talk about it before the heat of the moment, I suggest informing him you'll be getting tested together first before anything happens. My husband passed both of these tests and he's a solid and thoughtful guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:01 PM
21

NOT church!!! I grew up there, the men are twice as entitled and very addicted to porn due to shame/indulgence spiral.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:52 PM
37

It's the same thing as when people do a vow renewal - they're trying to fix something that has problems. It's often a last ditch attempt, even if subconsciously, and then they finally give up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:16 PM
12

Write a book when you found that new school of economics and I'll help promote it so hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:11 AM
103

Argh this makes me so mad - WHY DON'T MEN EVER READ ROMANCE NOVELS TO FIND OUT WHAT WOMEN WANT?!? You NEVER hear of this happening, much less them advising other men to do so in order to get better at "pulling chicks." But literally, ROMANCE NOVELS ARE OUR DESIRES laid out like a cheat sheet. For example, they might notice how often the heroes are described as smelling "clean," in those books and maybe take a shower more often, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:40 AM
11

I recommend looking at Natalie Lue's Baggage Reclaim blog for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 12:47 AM
4

I recommend getting a good strong basic one so you can hopefully get the orgasms right away, like a magic wand or a basic tube-shaped one that might be loud but delivers good strong vibes. There is a huge variety of types, but some of the fancy ones die way too quickly for the money, so a basic dependable one as your first is probably best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 10:36 PM
10

I think it’s also important to note how he treats other people. A little while after we first started dating, a homeless person recognized him outside a grocery store, and I found out it was because my bf had previously gone to the store with him and bought him food that he wanted. Another time, we were working together at a coffee shop and an old man came up to him and thanked him for helping him the night before when he had fallen. It honestly seemed unbelievable to me to see so many people ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:06 PM
28

My husband: Goes to therapy every week due to bad childhood and wanting to keep his head on straight. Has great emotional intelligence to the point that if he hears me sigh he can correctly ask what I'm happy about or worried about or what frustrating thing I saw. Very generous, is sad this year because he had to order Christmas presents online instead of going on an all day "trek" to find the perfect gifts around town. Gives me massages all the time, like automatically if I'm in reach he will b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 07:04 PM
5

Start with reading r/financialindependence so you know what the 25% rule, 33% rule, etc are. Then, look into different kinds of investing. For real estate, biggerpockets.com and https://affordanything.com/blog/ - the second one kind of annoys me personally but she has helped me. For mindset advice, the free newsletters of Lucky Bitch and Marie Forleo are top notch (seriously, within a 1 year period of starting to read LB I tripled my income). Learn to make scenarios of business ideas and investm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:44 AM
2

Approval please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:35 AM
25

IDK the member, but it's a quote from Leo Tolstoy and it's SO true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:33 AM
20

This is what I'm doing with my brother. He used to constantly ask for me to drop everything to help him with stupid emergencies he created and ask for life advice all the time, but never really take my advice. After he slipped and had a total fit about how I was a terrible person for (giving him advice he asked for) I realized he creates chaos on purpose and hates me because he's jealous of me and is not willing to put in the huge amount of effort I have into overcoming our difficult childhood. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:08 AM
12

Hawt! My husband yells at guys for that sort of thing too, but IDK if he's ever reduced them to tears. Would pay to see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:12 AM
9

Agree! I like to refer to it as making your sexual debut :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:05 PM
50

Yeah. This reminds me of a horrible porn site called Motherless. The cruelty of scrotes to WANT to wank to (because they can't actually rape at that moment) defenseless young women is neverending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:26 PM
75

The only woman I know who claims she has never been groped or molested or had anything inappropriate happen to her was literally raped by her own father. !!!!! Yikes! I've never been molested or raped, BUT I have been followed multiple times by guys trying to get me to get into their cars, had all kinds of catcalls and verbal sleaziness, etc. I don't think it's possible for any woman anywhere to avoid something inappropriate by age 18.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:46 AM
10

Worse, he was a preacher and liked "counseling" drug addicts and people with troubled marriages. Neither he nor my mom was REMOTELY qualified to do that sort of counseling, btw, but narcs think they know best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:39 AM
19

Yes. My father HATED it when any of us "sat around and read," as if reading was a completely useless activity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 12:42 AM
25

They pretend we're sex WORKER exclusive not sex WORK exclusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 12:30 AM
15

Heh, I might be what he'd call unattractive, as I have quite a bit too much fat on my bones (various health issues are the reason, and those health issues stem from being raised by a NVM narc father, hmm) but I'm on FDS to encourage other women, as I'm happily taken. So there's that, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:47 PM
13

Ahhh, so happy to meet so many horsewomen here!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:14 PM
14

It's a huge red flag of a guy hates cats and horses Definitely. My husband loves horses though never had the chance to be around them much and was super excited to meet my horse at the time. When my horse got sick, he had a dream about it - we had only known each other about 6 months at the time but I'd been vetting hard the whole time. After he told me about the dream and asked how my horse was, I told my mom and sister that I would marry him someday. Wasn't until years later I told him about t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:42 PM
5

Go for it! ALWAYS wear a helmet, no matter how short the ride, and be serious with your safety precautions as horses are easily startled. Take lessons and have a great time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:58 PM
4

100% accurate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:57 PM
10

Oh my gosh what a great date!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:57 PM
1

Yeah :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:56 PM
74

Not sure, they say we're crazy (not gonna argue, it's called being horse crazy after all), they say we spend all our time and money on it (iow not on them, wah), they say we're bossy (bc we control 1000+ lb animals all the time and aren't impressed by them), they say we're spoiled (not true except a tiny minority of rich girls whose parents buy them $50k horses), etc. etc. But there are multiple red pill articles on avoiding horsewomen because we are the WORST :D hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:15 AM
444

Yup! Also, feel free to pretend you are into horses. They are very very scared of horsewomen for some reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:08 AM
75

Money money money! Get financially independent asap (so that you can live off your investments) and continually read about both that and career advice so you are as smart as possible. You can really hustle hard in your 20s, so take advantage of that. If I'd known then what I know now I'd be a multimillionaire already. Aim for that by 30. But don't talk about it to guys or much of anyone, really. Learn everything you can about psychology and healthy mindsets and habits. . Take lots of pictures of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:39 AM
57

Colin Firth's wet shirt scene in P&P is emblazoned on the mind's eye of millions of women - he's not that attractive any more, but the nostalgia gets him lots of upvotes. The youngster on the right is definitely hot... but he's basically a baby still. Adorable, but I want to pat him on the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:15 AM
14

Yeah, exactly. Dump the hypocritical dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 11:20 PM
30

Preach! I never made real progress on myself as a person until I woke up. Since then my growth has been powerful. Very very true! I have explained this to the women in my life who get worried about how mad I am all the time. I've also pointed out that the anger has given me a whole lot of time and emotional energy and emotional space back in my life, as I've stopped catering to a bunch of male relatives who don't deserve it. I am angry every day at men as a class, but I'm also enjoying my life m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:17 PM
1

A male Anne? Isn't that the dream! and how! :D He had such a miserable childhood that he used to wish he was an orphan, poor dear. But he used imagination so much like Anne did to get through it, latched on to kind teachers and kind women in general, and got a ton of therapy starting in teen years. He was also given a bad genetic hand re: mental health but despite all that he's a good man who cares about other people. If men want to be good, they will! Re: similar hobbies, in general I don't thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:14 PM
16

In tribal societies, people often sit around looking for lice in each other's hair, but it's often just an excuse to get touched. And it feels AMAZING! There is a LOT of touching in "normal" tribal hunter/gatherer life and yes, people are psychologically WAY different than they are in modern society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:08 PM
43

My mother: Love is all you need! I started being skeptical at a very early age and started asking "what about money, though?" when I was about 8.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:02 PM
6

Tbh I would insist on an STI check before I would stop using condoms. I recommend insisting on that BEFORE having sex. LVMs will be put off/sulky and HVMs will be happy about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:30 PM
3

I think I may do that also! I also think about going back to wearing gloves in public like ladies used to. I realize that having a "too sterile" environment is also problematic for health, but that means disinfecting the environment too often, NOT "washing hands after using the bathroom too often." I will never be able to wrap my head around the sheer laziness of men as a whole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:38 PM
3

For sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:34 PM
1

I object, horse mouths are adorable, his is just ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:02 AM
35

Ew yeah dirty nails are a major turnoff. I've heard statistics like 80% of men don't wash their hands regularly after using the bathroom, which means 80% of men should not be allowed to reproduce, because that is utterly repulsive and lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:55 AM
57

I hope one day someone at Reddit realizes Oh, they know. Reddit hates women. The founders of Reddit hate women. They condone death and rape threats to women and violent and exploitative porn. It's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:51 AM
13

It probably means have they ever had an orgasm with that partner, not if they have an orgasm every time. Because otherwise, yeah, way too high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:07 AM
5

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:29 AM
29

A decline in population means fewer people have to suffer through climate collapse and extinction. If men were better, we wouldn't be dealing with impending extinction from the industrial society they created to get super rich, and if men were better us having rights wouldn't decrease our willingness to have children so much. Reproduction is a very strong drive, which means modern society and men are SO TERRIBLE that many of us choose to forego fulfilling that inherent drive. If they don't like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:55 PM
16

Yup. For this reason I used to only consider dating guys who read at least occasionally. I love reading and have read thousands of fiction books in my lifetime, so even as a pickme I knew I NEEDED someone who enjoyed reading at least a little. The vast majority of profiles that even mentioned reading had the guy's favorite book as something he obviously read in high school, which was an automatic pass. I wanted someone who read fiction regularly. SO annoying that reading is so rare nowadays... I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:52 PM
3

:D :D :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:41 PM
2

It really is like they read out of the same book, isn't it? I'm glad I could help a little, hope you update us when you're away :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:04 AM
63

He is enjoying twisting you in knots. He is absolutely sexist, dislikes women, and is not fixable. Leave him on the ground, since you can't quite fit him in a trashcan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 11:14 PM
39

Agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 08:44 PM
6

Ugh, so sorry you have the exact same situation also! Thanks for the hug and sending one back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:55 PM
5

Thanks for the info, I have canceled my subscription and let them know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:54 PM
14

Yeah, I felt every word of this. It's always a relief to hear someone acknowledging this type of rage and sadness - my siblings and I have spent the last few years helping my mom slowly disentangle from my dad, who is full blown npd and not bpd like we thought for a long time. She hung on way way way way way too long and only started calling him abusive after I was no longer available as the scapegoat. I have a LOT of anger toward her for letting me bear the brunt for so long and only getting ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:40 PM
70

I entirely support divesting from male businesses and male companionship wherever possible. I am happily married and would dearly miss him if all men disappeared from the Earth, but he's a very rare guy. Before him I always wished I could be bi or lesbian, though. I used to try to help male family members with advice and coaching, particularly a certain one who was always begging for life advice, but this year I've stopped that. I realized he especially resented me for the advice he asked for an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:57 AM
9

Sorry for the situation you're in! I'd recommend /raisedbyborderline or r/raisedbynarcissists, first off. I definitely definitely recommend either getting a roommate or finding a nice older lady to rent a room from - no matter which strategy you go for, though, if you can let your mom think you're taking her advice and moving in with your boyfriend things will probably go much smoother. If she finds you're doing what she wants (letting her move in with her new bf) but the "wrong way" (independen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:15 AM
4

Swooon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 12:38 AM
8

Congrats and good luck on your biz!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 12:38 AM
2

I cannot say what I want to say because of reddit rules. But my head feels like exploding. This poor poor poor grieving mother. I wish only terrible things on that scrote until the end of his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 10:33 PM
2

Hahaha love this one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 06:48 PM
6

Speak for yourself lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:58 AM
4

It's very difficult to break free from manipulators since they emotionally abuse to make it seem like it's your fault and it takes so much strength to not want to be around them anymore. Once again something that makes me feel weak... haha Sounds familiar, I also had a bunch of conservative people around me who never once said "he's wrong, you're fine," and it really made it hard to break free. I hope you get to be with your boyfriend soon and I'm glad you have pets! You're a lot more aware than…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:37 AM
133

Yeah, reddit did a big ban wave of all the genuine feminist subs except this one in June. Reddit hates women and I'm only here to help women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:51 AM
9

<I feel like I can't accept any help from anyone which is why I'm typing this anonymously. I can't go to therapy either because of this, I tried and I could never open up at all. A lot of people might tell you to try a different therapist, which might help - but in your case I suspect it's because your subconscious is screaming to get safe first and you're not safe if you have to be around your stepfather at all. Sadly, your mom is at least somewhat of an enabler, which means she is not a safe p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:48 AM
93

Dang, I want to have this post sent to every scrote every time he complains about how haaaaard online dating is. Also, why is it such a shock for me to see a story about a man being so intentional when it's fairly normal for women to be so intentional? The bar is soooo low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:43 PM
60

Ugh, sounds like they did just permaban you for being a member here. Scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 07:22 PM
11

Ha, husband's family was ridiculously abusive to him so he straight up told me he wanted to take my last name instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:39 PM
13

Yeah I've seen a few people say this, I read this many years ago, why's it a potential red flag? For me it's because I immediately think that person has not read a book since high school. I noped out of SOOO many profiles that had that listed as favorite book in OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:27 PM
9

Heh, yeah, "boys only want love if it's torture." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLhBsql3Zz4 Maybe that's why they treat us that way...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:23 PM
9

Fast forward to now and I’ve never orgasmed, and I only get turned on by pain or being degraded. May I suggest that if you haven't orgasmed, you don't really know what turns you on? Having been obsessed at one point with a certain type of BDSM and enjoying the endorphins but also feeling exhausted and drained afterward, I realized eventually it was simply me being a minor drug addict - I was addicted to my own self-made endorphin drugs. The stuff I read to get off also made me squicky feeling af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 07:12 PM
18

You have no business with this man anymore because you being concerned, you feeling the need to 'hold off intimacy as long as possible' is a red flag itself. This. As far as I can remember, my husband didn't ask about sex at the time. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him that I was still evaluating him, but if I accepted than I'd ask us to both get STD tests first. He was perfectly happy with this and even relieved about the test requirement. There was NO sulking and NO pushiness. That s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:27 AM
7

In that situation I'd probably get him the wine and then fill stockings for the two of you to open (get yourself stuff you've been wanting so you have just as much to open, it's fun) and then you guys can have a lovely little moment as soon as you wake up. He'll be surprised, you'll stay in your budget, it'll be easy to take on the plane, and it's very sentimental :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:24 AM
2

Me too please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:21 AM
1

Chris Rock really annoys me, his father was a definite high value man and his mother wrote a whole book on how they raised their kids and worked hard to love them and teach them to be good people. Yet despite all their efforts and their apparently awesome example he grows up and decided to be a scrote. Yuk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:22 PM
22

Someone who went through life as an unloved daughter to narc parents. These men prey on them. I was one of them. I had unchecked mental health issues in my teens and early twenties, and rock bottom self esteem. Exactly. I HATE the phrase daddy issues, but my dad is a narc and when I was 18 I had a crush on a 50+ year-old guy. My next crush was someone 20 years older than me. Then a celebrity who was 15 years older. Then next celebrity crush was only 8 years older. Then as I kept healing my issue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:20 PM
6

Awww :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:00 AM
2

Yeah, he sounds like he took lessons from my ex. Be VERY happy he's gone and onward and upward to better things for you! He IS a complete jerk and he DOES know exactly what he's done wrong. He would NOT change for you if you stayed. Leave him in the ditch, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:00 AM
1

She worked at that job over two years and never heard him gossiping/bragging like that the whole time. But yeah, in many cases that would have been a setup, maybe even for an attempt to get revenge on me by dating her :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:17 PM
11

Aww, that's terrible! Cry your heart out, be kind to yourself, and know that this time will end and life will be bright and full of happiness again someday. For now it's best to let yourself feel the pain and wash it away with tears. Big hugs to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:33 AM
13

Most of the time I’m robotic at work out of fear of sending the wrong message, but I’m trying to unlearn that habit and just be normal and accept that dudes are going to read whatever they want into shit. Exactly! It's their own fault! I am surprised that this guy learned from it, maybe because he was a teen/early twenties when it happened so he hadn't totally cemented? But even MY OWN BROTHER used to talk about acting this way with female coworkers and wouldn't listen to reason from anyone abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:21 AM
1

obgyns in my area don't even offer blood tests. I just... wow. I don't even understand how they can fail on something so basic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:15 AM
7

Hmm, maybe get a new one. Doesn't sound like he's "the best in the city" sadly. Mine offers STD tests every time and I always take them up on it despite being married and trusting my husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:09 AM
12

I still don't understand why they wanna know if we are sexually active. It's not just about the risks that sexual activity brings, it's also about diagnosing any problems - different possibility sets (differentials) are very different if you're active versus not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:19 PM
5

I've never been assaulted, but have been harassed. I don't know a single woman who hasn't at least been harassed, and most have been assaulted and/or raped :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:37 PM
12

It’s typically 24 hours before they will even entertain a missing persons report. I've seen PSAs recently where they say the 24 hours is a myth, please call AS SOON AS you have good reason to believe someone is missing. Now whether that translates to them actually getting off their butts right away, who knows, but just wanted to put that out there. You don't have to wait 24 hours before calling. This guy in the story is DEFINITELY as psycho, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:24 PM
10

I haven't heard of many, but the HVMs I know do seem to at least make sure the wife has all the financial info, consult her before any big purchases, and mostly let her make decisions. My husband actually really genuinely hates paperwork so he does let me make all the financial decisions since we married - I am (to brag a little) very good with money, so that works out well for him. He has spending money and frequently spends some of that on little presents for me. And for Christmas etc his pres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:11 PM
18

This actually used to be standard in the US too, the men were supposed to hand their paycheck to their wife to manage. She would run everything, pay taxes, and give him a weekly allowance for lunches. Of course, many men decided they preferred to drink their paychecks before coming home :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:15 PM
2

My older brother, oldest in a family of several, is probably the worst of the siblings. He calls himself a feminist but has been very misogynistic since he was a literal toddler. Lazy lazy lazy LVM who has dived into the onlyfans thing hard because IRL women are justly creeped out/grossed out by him and is now starting to feel resentment at the camgirls for taking his money and not wanting a "real relationship." Like wtf how dumb is that?!? I used to try so hard to give him good, non-confrontati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 07:20 PM
2

Exactly!! We are soaked in advice on pleasing men from before we can TALK. If other women here want to talk about how to maintain a HV relationship I think it could be beneficial. NOT about cooking and cleaning for him, sucking his dick, being his personal porn star, buying him PS5s or any other pickme bullshit. Stuff like how to set aside quality couple time while maintaining a fulfilling personal life, how to effectively and fairly sort out disagreements and fights, how to support your partner…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:55 AM
1

I think it’s good when this happens. My takeaway is that the person has recognized your strength of character, and they’re seeing you as a role model. Or at least they’re feeling the consequences of their choices. Exactly. It's a compliment. Reflecting on my own past, I can pick out people who likely saw my failings; maybe I even pushed their boundaries a bit. But I learned from them. Without their reaction to me, or their judgment, or their leaving, I wouldn’t have understood that I was wrong. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:44 AM
1

I think your mistake was calling her a pick me - using jargon outside of the group is likely to lead to misunderstandings, and also people dislike feeling "accused" of anything when asking for advice. Otherwise yeah, very accurate. I think one of the biggest things martyr types need to learn is how easy and wonderful it feels to do nice things for people - who then do nice things BACK for you. It's really lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:36 AM
53

I'd form a Gulabi Gang instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 07:19 PM
4

Yup! The only exception I've known was a parrot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 12:54 AM
3

Yeah, my first love (the relationship before husband) I was so so worried about being pushy or "too demanding" and his LVM ass totally took advantage of that. Oh well, I learned well and learned thoroughly from that relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:12 PM
20

Pre FDS when dating my husband, he started asking me to be his girlfriend within the first several dates. When it came up, I asked what he was looking for in future, established we had the same goals, said that I was really enjoying my time with him but wasn't quite ready to be exclusive yet. I told him that when I was, I'd want us both to go get tested before sleeping together. He was totally okay with all of that and was patient, but also kept talking during dates about how "it was too early t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:47 PM
16

If you WERE to get married now it would almost certainly be to the wrong person - you will change a great deal by the time your brain matures around age 25. Getting married after that age has a much better chance of being a happy marriage. Focus on yourself, use your energy to work super hard at your goals, and use FDS principles and you will build a future that you are proud of and others envy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:45 PM
1

Great way to close out the year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:32 PM
13

Don't forget that we are in the early stages of total climate collapse. I understand people who simply HAVE to have a baby (I'm fighting my very strong urges myself) but if you're okay either way, maybe don't... I don't want my poor potential child to have to deal with water shortages everywhere, mass wars and refugeeism, eating bugs, and no hope for better. Men have ruined the planet and keep happily diggings us deeper when the solutions are (at the moment) really quite feasible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:52 AM
3

Ahh, the feeling of your guy only having a dumb phone :) I've never felt like snooping, but if I did I'd demand access to his computer and stand there so he couldn't erase anything until I got on. He could technically do the same thing to me... it's never come up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:38 PM
14

Have you tried writing yourself a letter from future you, where future you has achieved everything you want, including a great relationship? I did that a couple times, years ago and have been shocked at just how much came true. I think subconsciously it really helped me get laser focused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:54 AM
3

Yeah, I think when I was online dating (OK Cupid and Match type) I'm sure I went through AT LEAST 2000 profiles of men. I dated two, one was LVM and one was my now husband. To scrote lurkers wondering why they can't get dates, it's because YOU SUCK and can't even meet a BASIC LOW BAR expectation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 07:56 PM
13

You are describing people pleasing, not kindness. Many many many gazillions of words have been written on the origins of and problems with people pleasing, so please go google some of those. Your last statement about passion, boldness, who are kind to others out of their strength, that is what I associate with kindness and it appeals to both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 07:09 PM
6

Your statement, "the problem is almost never the reverse (i.e., the wife wants to have sex more frequently than the husband and he refuses)" is incorrect. Read r/deadbedrooms for proof. On to the main question, though. If we look at humanity in other times and places and, dare I say, in an evolutionary psychology way, one of the first things we notice is that after a certain number of children, the more children a mother births the less likely each individual child is to survive. In most of hist…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 08:05 PM
1

https://www.goodreads.com/genres/shy-hero https://www.goodreads.com/list/tag/beta-male https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/326.Best_Romantic_Beta_Heroes https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/hero-protective-caring-beta-male https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/75595.Best_Beta_Heroes_in_Contemporary_Romance_ https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/73635.Romance_With_A_Beta_Male_YA_NA_ https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/26718.Romances_with_Beta_Heroes https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/75590.Best_Beta…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/18 02:58 AM
1

Damsel in distress stories are fun. They are a subset of hurt/comfort stories, which are always popular, for a lot of reasons. I think OP is reading too much and too little into them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/17 09:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter