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hikurangi2019 Archive

View 21 posts and 521 comments by hikurangi2019 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
4335

FDS MEMEShikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:23 AM
858

LESSON LEARNEDhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 09:35 PM
748

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 08:46 AM
501

MOOD FOR LIFEhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:27 AM
369

LESSON LEARNEDhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 07:34 PM
353

CULTURAL MISOGYNYhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:42 AM
319

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 04:34 AM
312

hikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 05:30 AM
258

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 01:24 PM
210

FDS HUMORhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:55 AM
187

FIELD REPORT hikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 11:27 AM
174

MOOD FOR LIFEhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:00 AM
61

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:31 PM
38

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:17 AM
23

LEVEL UPhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:28 AM
21

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:55 PM
12

#JustLVMThingshikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:23 AM
10

SEEKING ADVICEhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 12:17 AM
7

SEEKING ADVICEhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:24 PM
1

LEVEL UPhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:16 AM
1

DISCUSSIONhikurangi2019/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:12 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

Dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/22 04:49 AM
28

Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 11:37 AM
30

I feel fortunate I intuitively figured out my dad is a POS early and never wanted to date anyone that resembled him in any shape or form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 10:55 PM
19

Boss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 10:48 PM
11

The most important thing is you’ll never make this mistake ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 08:51 AM
10

Once I started applying this to all aspects of my life, it was easy to see the people that are all talk and people that actually give 2 cents. I’m no longer bothered by friends/bffs/relatives that talk it up but can’t deliver.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 08:10 PM
9

Woah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 12:13 AM
10

I’m Asian and the stereotype is being quiet. When I’m quiet I’m “so Asian”, when I’ve had a few drinks and I start getting real talkative I’m also “so Asian”. Only white people are allowed to be a three dimensional being with different personalities. When they’re quiet people will still be friendly and make eye contact, when Asians are quiet and feel ostracised “oh maybe it’s cause you’re quiet and no one wants to talk to you”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 07:07 PM
26

I feel you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 10:01 AM
63

Older white ladies can be Uber cool. They know how to navigate misogyny and put a scrote in his place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 09:08 AM
217

As a WoC, I generally experience younger white women being cliquey at work/ school/ social settings. Everyone else is a mixed bunch. It got to a point where I don’t go out of my way to be friendly or initiate convo anymore. EDIT: downvoting me will not change how women of colour have to navigate the social sphere differently to white women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 08:00 AM
25

Lol I grew up with a single dad. Always thought he was caught between this weird desire of wanting me to be independent and docile at the same time. Fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 04:04 AM
29

Boss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 03:31 AM
66

I work in a super macho industry and I’m not naturally super smiley, I’m just polite and professional. Most of the men here cuss every other sentence, instead of growing a pair and telling these assholes not to swear so much my coworker would tell me to smile. I can’t wait till I leave this shit hole so I can smile again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 10:35 PM
14

Ohhh number 2 is on point 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 10:59 AM
72

Lol I didn’t think there would be a sentence grosser than ethical something something. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 02:20 PM
170

He’s over 20 years her senior. 20 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 09:54 PM
719

“When a woman says no that’s when negotiation starts.” I will always remember this quote. I’m VERY firm when I say no these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 05:00 AM
148

“Live in the moment” had me all triggered lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 09:51 PM
57

Word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 09:23 AM
164

You could potentially earn 70k in 5 fucking years. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:06 AM
57

They love to tell you white women are too opinionated and how they’re too up themselves. Asian women are more feminine, more giving or there’s just something about Asian women. 🤢 It all comes down to reducing you to your race instead of finding you attractive as a person. It’s never your personality, your humour, your intelligence, your leadership qualities, your entrepreneurial qualities. A lot of them say those things as a mask but what they really like about you is mostly your race.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 05:29 AM
73

If you’re Asian, just don’t. The only variety of white guys that like Asian women are the creepy yellow fever type, aka they can’t find someone within their own race. If they don’t look overtly creepy you’ll sense the creepiness once you start talking to them long enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 04:39 AM
10

Fucking nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:36 PM
8

Just wanted to give you a big virtual hug. You’re not alone, I feel the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 09:36 AM
10

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 11:39 PM
12

Amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 03:41 AM
9

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 10:43 PM
2

That’s really well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 06:13 AM
142

I was a big fan of Brene Brown and I do agree that without genuine vulnerability there is no genuine connection. The more selectively vulnerable I became I did find little connections here and there and I don’t think the connection would’ve happened if I closed myself off but the trade off is I also became a magnet for predators. Some people will use whatever info you discourse against you, they will flip the narrative and use your own words against you. If I lived in a world that promoted empat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 09:31 AM
2

I’m sure they all have lovely personalities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 12:36 AM
15

Sounds lit. Look forward to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:19 AM
1

🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 08:06 AM
8

Ohhhh I like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 08:04 AM
45

I wanna be Capybara.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 11:28 PM
75

I’m curious what everyone else make of this. My experience have mostly been not asking for help then realising there are times I know I will be fucked if I don’t ask for help. When I do ask for help I’m generally met with massive disappointment. I’ve come to the conclusion that most people that say “just ask if you need help” don’t actually wanna help but they do wanna feel like they’re helping. People that are willing to help out sorta knows and they just help out without being asked too much. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 11:26 PM
46

She’s great. Highly recommend her videos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:48 AM
49

Ahhhh I cringe at myself for trying to contact my ex… 🥲🥲😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 03:08 AM
87

Aka code for “I don’t like you but I’m willing to sleep with you”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 08:58 PM
26

“Second family” omfg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 08:47 AM
71

Yes!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 06:24 AM
7

I am fucking deceased. 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:16 AM
5

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:38 PM
62

Just wanted to say congrats! I remember those days of going back and forth between deleting and redownloading. It’s nice to be free and focus all my energy on other endeavours and goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:54 PM
2

I gotcha ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:20 PM
9

I think it’s human nature that we all want friends, family and especially our partner to be protective of us when we’re being attacked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 09:42 PM
17

He had a lot going for himself, he was building his career, working long hours. He keeps himself and his living environment clean and tidy plus he was a great boyfriend. It didn’t workout because his friends were all really racist towards me and he just sat there and stayed quiet while I was visibly upset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 08:58 PM
405

Sums up why I don’t want kids. I would have to raise the kid(s), run the household, and have a career. While the man only has to prioritise his career. I have personally only dated one man who could demonstrate he has the capacity to look after (half/) a household and manage basic chores after his 9-5. Some of them have excellent careers that I’m sure they’re doing very well in. They all want kids but my god they don’t have much qualities to raise them. When being called out for not having these…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 12:53 AM
9

Now think of all the misogynistic terms women are called throughout society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:17 AM
115

I’d like to see female anything other than being the romantic interest. I’d especially like to see older women being badass with their lived experience and wisdom. Female leadership, female villain anyone?, I wanna see women in a position of power not victimhood. “Promising Young Woman” was fantastic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 03:28 AM
761

It’s so exhausting being a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 09:51 PM
5

It’s so easy for therapists to just sit there and nod and figuratively ask “how does that make you feel”. Take the money and not actually help. It’s a lot of effort for them to do quality work at times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 08:23 AM
7

I have to say you got lucky with her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 12:47 AM
22

Badass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 12:31 PM
171

I love how FDS has evolved to more than just a dating strategy sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 12:16 AM
412

I sincerely hope the younger generation of women no longer fall for any of this bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 02:07 AM
19

What a fun combination!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 11:10 PM
10

Preach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 09:20 PM
13

These two lines are literally #classic. 😂 I thought the cut off was men in their 40’s but it’s more like they’re always young, even after that second hip replacement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 10:49 AM
8

Ouch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 08:41 AM
16

Good riddance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 08:39 AM
82

She’s only doing 49.99% of her wife duties, poor me it’s not fair. 😢😢😢 Now imagine if the writer in the family was the husband. He would 100% tell the wife I have a full time job and I have to write, I have no time for doing domestic duties!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:55 AM
112

Haha very cute. I love Wednesday, her style and her attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 12:02 AM
10

-_- wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 09:28 PM
7

Yikes. I feel you. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 10:06 AM
64

No one in the public sphere can beat RBG’s legendary husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 12:59 AM
25

That rapist creep is 40 years older than her. I wanna throw up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 10:03 PM
34

Oh wow people are triggered by this post. That’s impressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 09:48 PM
3

I would take her words with a grain of salt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 05:23 PM
74

Another goodie here. I’ve learned my lesson, never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:51 AM
89

Do not ever diminish yourself at work, or try to be vulnerable with people at work. There are absolutely predators at work with a seemingly genuine and friendly facade. People do it for all sorts of reasons. Both men and women, maybe it’s trying to get on your good side, when you think you’re friends with them and say something stupid they’ll use it against you. Sometimes you don’t even see it till it’s too late. Don’t worry about the ones that keep to themselves and are pleasant and polite but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 08:23 AM
33

The first thing you have to do is allow yourself to grieve. Sadness, anger, shame, whatever it is you’re feeling, just remember it all makes sense why you would feel that way. Someone took away something really important from you. Allow yourself the whole week to let it all out, cry as much as you want, just remember to stay hydrated and eat regularly. Only talk to people you feel safe with, quite often people have the tendency to tell someone grieving to “just get over it” which is extremely un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 08:35 PM
30

That usually follows with a put down of white women. “I like Asian women because they’re insert word and not opinionated like white women”. Yeah because white women don’t have to deal with your fucking bullshit. Fucking gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 10:13 PM
56

When I was in my early teens I was hanging out with a family friend in his early 20’s(? Possibly older). He kept on cussing and referencing female body parts. The teenage feminist in me immediately wanted to teach him a lesson, when I heard him say “your mum” I clapped back and said something along the lines of “your dad”. This grown ass man turned rabid and attacked me with a chokehold. I don’t remember what happened after but I remember crystal clear my dad not only didn’t get upset he defendi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:54 PM
21

Oh god this makes me ill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:23 AM
17

Hands down the best on screen couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:48 AM
11

No wonder there’s so many half Asians that would get mad if you don’t assume they’re “more” white. “I’m not that fucking Asian” as they would say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:03 AM
68

I have always loved listening to people talk (both men and women) about what qualities they like in other people and what motivates them when it comes to romantic relationships. I’ve met men that range from down right creepy “there’s just something about Asian women” to genuinely pretty sweet men but once you listen to them talk uninhibited for awhile you realise they’re all different flavours of creepy 😂. It’s never I like so and so because she’s so intelligent, funny and witty and all that goo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 01:56 PM
176

As an Asian woman, with my decades long anecdotal evidence I’m convinced 100% of white guys that date Asian women have Asian fetish and other non Asian men that date Asian women generally fetishise us too. It’s terribly sad to see younger Asian ladies internalise racism as “I can’t date someone of the same race as me because it’s like dating a brother”. Because of the inherent power dynamic between dating outside of my race I would never date someone that’s not Asian.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 01:24 PM
99

It’s pretty subjective. My ex bought me a washing machine when I got my own place, I needed some help to set up because I was buying everything at once. At the same time he’s not the romantic type and would never gift me anything frivolous. For me it’s about the thought and not the monetary value. I feel super loved if my loved one got me something I wanted/needed, it goes to show they really know me as a person and they care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:21 AM
3

Another poster mentioned in this thread to say something along the lines of: my ex was a good person but for insert reason we drifted apart. My take is you can talk about how it didn’t work out, like you would when talking about personal things with acquaintances you never disclose too much, don’t go into too much detail about how deeply you’ve been hurt. People use that as ammo. It’s not just with men, I’ve been hurt many times by people I consider friends because I disclosed too much info. I s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:28 AM
44

Ohh I feel you. In part I think it’s the “emotional connection” with this soft boy type and being future faked. It gives you the illusion you’re “building a future” with this person. I experienced one of these at 3 months, right after my cousin committed suicide. It’s laughable to think back then I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this person. It’s a good lesson, once you’re all healed from this you’ll never, ever fall for this shit again. Stay strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 05:12 PM
83

I’ve had a female therapist ask predatory questions and a male therapist that showed a lot of compassion. It really depends… I would be mindful of how they respond to sensitive topics and proceed accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 11:32 PM
265

Lol that’s exactly how I feel. Thank god we don’t live in 1955 and need a husband to open a bank account 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 10:11 PM
241

Men that can’t even wash dishes and clean the house have the audacity to tell me they want kids. I humbly ask, how are you qualified?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:53 AM
21

I think we all go through this stage at some point. Don’t blame yourself for feeling this way, eventually the ick feeling will subside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 05:36 AM
32

👌👌👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 07:30 AM
17

Thanks for sharing. It’s so lovely to hear stories like yours, all the best to you. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 10:38 PM
3

To all the young ladies out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 01:17 PM
11

Proud of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 01:12 PM
34

Lol love the theatrics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 01:08 PM
71

Took me way too long to crack this code. Never again. I give people the same energy they give me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 11:08 AM
11

Other than the obvious, the one thing I wish I realised much much earlier was my mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:05 AM
6

Hahaha brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:43 AM
11

First serious relationship at 27 is not a red flag nor is virgin at 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 02:54 AM
18

😂😂🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:13 PM
209

I was raised by a single father. When I was a child I remember a female relative came to visit and told me off for not helping my dad clean the house. Instead of telling my dad off for being an irresponsible adult, she obviously felt a female child is more responsible for doing domestic duties than a grown ass man. If I was raised by a single mother, everyone would berate her for not doing her job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 01:57 AM
5

“The Lv rich men are most likely new money” “My dad came from a very poor family….” New money or not has nothing to do with whether a man is a decent human being. Money is not a marker for being a good person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 08:18 PM
31

You’re definitely not alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:57 AM
10

YES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 07:55 PM
8

https://www.mindsoother.com/blog/using-opposite-action-for-overwhelming-emotions Hope this helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:47 AM
109

The two men that I dated who treated me with respect both had respectable fathers. Their fathers didn’t abuse/ emotionally neglect them or mistreat their mothers. Interestingly enough all their brothers are the same, they’re all in stable long term relationships. However men from dysfunctional families (myself included) seem to really resemble their childhood dysfunction. Unhealthy communication patterns, emotional withdrawal, aggression… Both my therapist and FDS recognises you can’t change how…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:15 AM
40

The level of dissociation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 12:39 AM
100

And at least 3 kinds of STD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 10:31 AM
474

“Often [non prostituted] women are a pain In the ass”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 03:51 PM
572

“Here I can push the boundaries if I want to.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 03:46 PM
38

I just realised way too many men are like this… how do I protect myself? They would chase till the moment I show any interest then out of nowhere they’re not interested anymore. It’s so predatory and the amount of men that are like is this so scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 08:10 PM
66

My brother had a guy friend that met his wife through volunteering. My brother doesn’t think this friend make a good husband, sleazy and likes to check out women even though he’s married. I wouldn’t volunteer for the sake of meeting men, LVM are everywhere :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 12:39 PM
30

wOW 😮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:28 AM
65

This one is a huge lesson for me. I always take people at face value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 02:54 AM
49

Let me preface by saying this is a hyperbole. Dating as a woman feels like: Me: I want a committed relationship The average male: omg you’re so intense, can’t we just chill? I like to go with the flow. The same average male: I wanna have kids and get married and all that. Women have been collectively gaslighted to the point that men get away with having their cake and eating it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:13 AM
46

Ohhhh I like the sound of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 04:24 AM
37

I’m shocked. I come from a working class background with a bachelors and I feel super insecure because my family aren’t even close to middle class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 01:28 PM
80

When did FDS ever claim 99% of men are rapist??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 05:54 AM
7

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 01:16 PM
211

I’ve lost interest in men and the idea of the white picket fence and become obsessive about saving and investing because I know if I don’t find ways beyond my 9-5 job I will never have enough to buy a house let alone retire comfortably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:30 AM
47

Hah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:12 AM
8

Fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 10:30 AM
3

I like your username OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:10 PM
1

Wish I saw this years ago, would’ve saved me every single heartache ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:19 AM
5

I was addicted to OLD... then fds slapped me out of it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:17 PM
28

I would have to say my personal favourite is “calm down”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:21 AM
5

Niiiice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:12 AM
36

LMAO. I thought I was the only woman on earth that thought this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:12 PM
32

Haha I was convinced in my head, at least in the OLD context, attractive guys would be the awful ones and the not so attractive ones would be much much nicer. Not true as I eventually figured out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:10 PM
1

Hahahahahahhaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 07:53 PM
21

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:10 AM
5

💪💪💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:06 AM
4

Just wanted to let you know this post was super helpful. I’m saving this to my notepad so I can remind myself when I need it. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:04 PM
6

Hah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:58 AM
68

Zoomers are based.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:51 AM
8

Hah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:09 AM
3

Aww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:16 AM
3

Hear hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:37 PM
79

Welcome to East Asian culture. If you don’t sound like that, you’re considered “manly”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:47 PM
43

Took me 31 years to learn this lesson...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:52 AM
13

WOoOooow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:47 AM
15

Hmm. Think we’ve all heard this story one too many times. FDS made me realise negotiating doesn’t work, the only power I have is to walk away. Men know, they just don’t want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 07:51 AM
38

Same lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:42 AM
6

Took me 31 years and a lot of OLD trauma to figure this out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:21 AM
127

I cringe at myself. Ick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 10:50 PM
44

What can we do to help raise awareness?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 08:12 AM
110

Damn that’s a high value hubby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:16 AM
1

omg. I died. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:13 AM
23

I’m staying mad. 👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:58 AM
10

Eww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 11:53 PM
53

I can relate, I can empathise with you. My mum was on again off again with this man most of her adult life. This man gave her an STD, the doctor said her uterus is too scarred and very unlikely she will get pregnant again so they took out her birth control implant. He got her pregnant in her 40’s, he said it can’t be his because she’s a whore, a slut. She gave birth to that child out of spite. I’m in my 30’s now and that story still haunts me. How can someone do that to themselves?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:38 AM
8

Thanks for the post, I really needed this reminder today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 09:32 AM
27

Creepy white guys be creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 07:05 AM
12

Yikes, never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:29 PM
37

Ahhh I feel the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:46 PM
12

Girl it’s all good, you’re not alone!! I still cringe at myself all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:31 AM
34

Because; “If he wanted to, he would”. I’ve been talking to the men in my life and they said that is indeed the code.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 10:51 PM
2

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:28 AM
16

This is adorable 💚💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:56 AM
92

Every time I get with someone new I worry they’ll “post nut clarity” on me. I guess this is why the 3 months rule is so important, it literally weeds out all sorts of assholes. Only men that’s genuinely into you will stick around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:12 PM
11

Point taken 😅😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 11:41 PM
25

Nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:35 AM
2

Yes. I always thought I was the problem till I met people who would reassure me when I was overthinking and anxious, didn’t call me needy when I wanted to spend time together. You’re not the problem, they’re just emotionally unavailable. If they cared enough they absolutely would reassure you, took me ages to figure this out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 10:06 PM
25

Oh boy, this reminds me of my last ex 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 06:56 AM
9

You genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:02 AM
7

👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:57 PM
9

I flip flop between feeling optimistic and feeling jaded asf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:15 PM
6

Same, it’s so depressing :/ I guess the only thing I can do when that happens is run. Honestly no point trying to communicate, if he wants to treat you well he will make the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:45 PM
22

How does he handle conflict in a relationship. Just because he’s nice to the waiter or backs up his buddies doesn’t mean he’ll treat you well. I’ve met men who will prioritise me over his bros and I’ve also met men who will prioritise his bros over me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 10:18 AM
15

We both shared an equal amount of sob stories, I validated and soothed him like a mother, expecting the same in return. I thought it would bring us closer, instead of emotional intimacy all I got was “I can’t carry your hurt for you”, “you have too much baggage”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 07:49 PM
40

Omg. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:22 PM
22

Thank you, this is so cute to read :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 05:31 AM
20

🙋🏻‍♀️🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:05 PM
6

😂😅😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 01:20 AM
1

Class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:58 AM
1

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 09:19 PM
1

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:18 PM
1

In hindsight I always had the gut feeling these guys aren’t interested but I kept telling myself I needed to approach them. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, you just have to trust your gut feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:17 AM
25

I used to feel this way too then I adopted FDS and now I only give energy to men that are interested and actively making an effort otherwise I block and delete faster than lightning. For example, I’m currently using tinder (not saying it’s a great app) when I match with guys I probably get less than 20% initiating contact and they’re usually lazy and autistic. I’ve noticed if someone super likes me they make way more effort and they reply at a much faster rate. There’s still plenty of lazy, “let…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:07 PM
19

10,000%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:12 AM
13

Class act. 👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 08:43 AM
15

Disturbing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:45 PM
25

Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:07 AM
48

Even men that have the ability to empathise wouldn’t understand what it feels to be a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 09:56 AM
28

I noped out of that sub ages ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 08:12 AM
6

Really solid advice in here, you’re in good hands. My 2 cents would be to allow yourself to grieve and not push those sad feelings away. Don’t beat yourself up, remember to stay hydrated. Trust us, give it a couple weeks, a month and you’ll be like who? Oh that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:08 AM
30

He’s still young. Might settle down in the future. No rush.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:03 AM
30

You lucky lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:09 AM
10

Wow 😮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:05 AM
32

If it wasn’t for finding FDS I would’ve put up with it for much much longer. I would’ve probably put in even more effort instead I matched his energy. Best decision ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 06:19 AM
202

Lol I just got rid of my hobosexual ex. When I asked him to help out with more housework because I was overwhelmed he said “if I’m not here you’d have to do it anyway”. Well, if you’re not here I wouldn’t have to subsidise anyone rent and groceries. I never took the red flags seriously, this guy had a track record of moving in with women as soon as they offer because he never had a place of his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 03:23 AM
5

Oh god I know how you feel. What even is normal anymore? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ What I’ve realised thanks to FDS is we have to take it slow, slow to respond, friendly but slow to warm up, slow to progress. When we’re slow and steady we weed out guys who aren’t actually interested, when we’re slow and steady we weed out guys who are only in it for the short term. I went from super keen and messaging all the time to “hmm let me think about that, let me sit on it for a bit.” My mentality went from the one bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:52 AM
6

I’m on the same boat as you 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 01:29 AM
11

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 10:58 PM
71

Sounds like most men :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 01:09 AM
8

I’ve seen this kind of behaviour before. They wrote something utterly shocking then they “just kidding, only wanted to get your attention”. I actually tried to have a conversation with this person and told him how disturbing and misogynistic his profile is. He said “being nice doesn’t work”. I told him treating people with respect is the only way. My guess is people like him have really low EQ and have no idea how they come across. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:14 PM
12

Half Asians are always “I’m not that Asian” even though they are exactly half Asian and half white. My gut instinct was telling me to not give my ex a chance because he’s half Asian and would never empathise with me if anything race related ever came up. He convinced me he knew what it’s like to be racially discriminated against, his stories all seemed so genuine and I told him I’ve never met a half Asian that didn’t consider themselves to be “just white”. Time revealed him to be just like every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:18 PM
8

Nice. 👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:00 AM
4

Wow. Prince Charming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:59 AM
18

“Chill”, “Casual”, “Go with the flow”, “Laidback”. Creepy sense of humour “I’m looking for someone to take care of me emotionally and financially”. If you sense any creepiness in the profile or the way they look don’t bother. I’ve given lots of men the benefit of doubt, when I meet them in person they’re always just as creepy as their photos or profiles. Always trust your gut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:53 AM
6

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:19 AM
3

Aww 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:19 AM
40

Same. I cooked a friend lunch and dinner this weekend and he was super thankful and told me he’d get me dinner next. Just like you, in romantic relationships I bent over backwards for my two exes but they didn’t really appreciate me by treating me the same way I treated them. I’m just so exhausted, I don’t wanna date again either unless someone pursues me but to be frank I really don’t think that’ll happen. Thanks to FDS I don’t chase anyone now, not platonic or romantic relationships. I give ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:53 AM
73

I will never date another man who doesn't have my back. A man that doesn't support my life goals or mocks me for even having goals can GTFO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:39 AM
29

You deserve it bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:39 AM
2

That was a nice read!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:18 PM
19

My ex said to me I’m only in control because he allows it... 🤦🏻‍♀️I was quite confused by that statement initially because I wanted him to step up and have more initiative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:35 PM
3

Empathy, loyalty, intelligence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:15 PM
18

Being East Asian female means the only thing that’s interesting about me is being East Asian. 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:11 PM
3

Oh wow, this is my last relationship too 😨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:36 AM
5

My dad made me feel like his wife/mother, never really felt like a kid growing up :/ I used to beat myself up because no matter how much I did for my dad he couldn’t see it, it wasn’t until his most recent girlfriend telling me how thoughtful I am did I finally convince myself my dad never appreciated me, nothing I do is ever enough for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:32 AM
9

My all time fav.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:13 AM
5

Thank you my lady, I appreciate it 🙆🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:42 AM
8

Same same but different. I thought he was the love of my life, at 29 no one wanted to date him but I gave him a chance. Just like you I cooked and cleaned for him and supported him emotionally. He dumped me right after my cousin committed suicide and told me he couldn’t carry my hurt for me. I can’t believe I wanted to end my life over someone like him. You said it really well, he also broke me but fixed me at the same time. I don’t ever fantasise about the white picket fence anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 10:56 AM
1

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 09:52 AM
2

Wtf. She’s really pretty 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:14 AM
3

Take my money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:05 AM
1

How charming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:13 AM
19

Best comeback ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:07 PM
9

I think having a disagreement about something reveals what kind of a person they are very quickly (sometimes it doesn’t even have to be anything important). They can love bomb all they want but the first signs of conflict is very revealing of their true character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:07 PM
9

Came here to say this. I was utterly confused when this happened to me because he could empathise with a bee that was starving but ignore me when I was in pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:45 PM
13

You’re not alone, I felt the same at your age. You have FDS now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:30 AM
28

I second this, I would’ve been miserable a lot longer if I didn’t learn about this technique. I gave him the same energy he gave me. He didn’t like it one bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:40 AM
2

Eeek I needed to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:17 AM
9

Another classic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:06 AM
2

Well, I’m that dumbass that paid for drinks for a guy friend that wanted to date me but never did anything nice for me. I didn’t even like him as a friend🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:58 PM
2

Been there, done that. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:11 PM
96

Fark. I wish I was gay. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:44 AM
15

So articulate. Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:23 AM
35

Wow, that’s oh so relatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:49 AM
3

Now I am ready at any point to drop kick someone out of my life :) 👏👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:21 PM
2

“Softbois” into philosophy and nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:20 PM
4

Men have this fucking weird “bro code” his bros can hurt your feelings and that’s okay. If you complain about them then you need to go not his bros. I’m adding this to my list of red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:18 PM
15

He’s the best. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:51 PM
14

Called my dad when my tyre went flat while in was in the middle of nowhere, he hung up on me and told me to sort it out myself. I YouTubed how to change a tyre and sussed it out myself. Thanks dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:46 PM
4

Thanks to FDS block and delete is so much easier now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:41 PM
11

What an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:02 AM
22

Ahhh here’s a giant hug. The ladies have already said everything I want to say. I’m gonna chime in and say it will hurt for ages and you’ll probably find yourself missing him but remember it’s just the trauma bond; you deserve someone who is consistent with how they treat you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:40 AM
1

Thanks that’d be nice 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:13 AM
7

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:05 AM
7

The Peter Pan (29) I encountered was career driven but it stops there. Calls himself a “big kid” and super proud of it. Zero life skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:09 AM
6

I just died.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:32 AM
2

Well he can fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:03 AM
2

My eyes are rolling so far back I can see my brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:01 AM
3

Hug
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:44 AM
21

💚💚🙋🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:44 AM
7

So glad you dropped him. 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:10 AM
1

You’re so right and I feel like such a clown :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:30 PM
1

I feel gross...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:28 PM
1

Another former clown here 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:17 PM
5

It’s sooo annoying when people tell me to be “optimistic”. No thanks, I’d rather be real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:11 PM
2

So true, next time I sense this kind of behaviour early on I will run instead of telling myself I’m “overthinking”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:08 PM
23

I did the same when I found FDS, asked him to level up and help out more with cleaning, instead of doing more he stopped doing any cleaning. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 09:35 PM
16

I’ve spoken to so many millennial men about this topic and very rarely have I met a man that think it’s wrong. The OLD culture have made it so easy for men to have casual sex, I remember this one guy told me even he’s shocked at how easy it is for women to just throw themselves at him, he said “it’s like these young women think they’re missing out on something.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:14 PM
10

“Love bombing”, “combined with his shocking cooling off” Everything you’ve described sound identical to my ex; a covert narcissist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 11:13 AM
13

My brain hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:39 AM
25

I don’t think there’s winning in this game :/ not in this system.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 09:55 AM
2

Oh boy, where do I start? The idea is, for about the first three months (not a definitive number) you’re only meeting his “representative”, a mask, a facade. To protect yourself from getting hurt and emotionally investing too much, you need to take it slooow, observe his actions (not words) and most importantly don’t sleep with him for at least 3 months. Generally that facade will reveal itself after a few months and you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache. Sometimes people lie, sometimes people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:33 AM
3

I really hope it works out for you!!! All the best 💚💚💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:54 AM
7

Remember what we preach around here.? Observe his actions not his words. My biggest takeaway from 2019 is promises/ words are useless. Oh just one more thing! “Give him the same energy he gives you...because if you don’t meet him halfway, he’ll go all the way.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:33 AM
11

I recently ended a 6 month relationship because he ended up a very different person to who he seemed initially. For the first 3 months, he said everything I wanted to hear, settle down, long term plans, he had initiative, he helped out around the house. Then out of nowhere he couldn’t keep up the facade. He stopped cleaning and played video games all day. I’m 30 so I know what it feels like to not want to waste time but had I waited and observed him, he would’ve eventually let slip of his mask. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:05 AM
7

Thank you 👊🥰 I’m saving this in my notes for future reference!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:41 AM
11

Thank you, I recently discovered “codependency”. I’m actually afraid of looking it up, even thinking about it hurts. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:33 AM
6

B! (Thanks Dad)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:31 AM
5

I’m cringing at my past self. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:30 AM
4

“The house was immaculate” Let me picture that for a second 🤔🤔🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:28 AM
5

I don’t even know what healthy is anymore. Last guy I dated always put his bros before me, he would tell me about their issues and what he didn’t like about each guy (personally I’m okay with that) what’s problematic is he’s unable to critically analyse them when it involves me. I was the priority initially but in the span of 3 months his video games and bro hangouts were far more important than spending time with me. I think he would be much much happier if he were gay tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:26 AM
8

Recently experienced this myself, it’s awful. I can relate :/ you’re better off without him, unfortunately it’s still gonna hurt ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:00 AM
1

Thanks for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:02 PM
34

Aww 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:23 AM
14

Woah. :o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:19 AM
2

😂😂👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:46 AM
3

Wow that’s tricky, I’ve definitely been guilty of this before. I just wanted A relationship, I wasn’t too picky about the person and he didn’t call me out on my bullshit. :/ what I did was terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:31 AM
1

Did he also stonewall, gaslight and go hot and cold? Does it feel like he turned into a different person when you moved in together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:35 AM
2

Love it 👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:14 AM
19

Noted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:01 PM
28

Never.again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:55 PM
14

Sounds dodgy to me. I agree with block and delete. Men going quiet is a classic sign of not being interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:53 PM
8

I struggle immensely with this too, look forward to what other ladies have to say. (I think it’s fascinating and creepy how men can just cut off their emotions. Yikes)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:42 PM
1

He’s a real gem if he stood by you at your lowest, not many people will do that for their partner. People run at the first sight of conflict, he cares about you as a person, I hope you cherish that love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:05 AM
18

I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:06 AM
44

Yes my lady 👏👏👏👏👏good job!!!! 👊👊👊👊💚💚💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:20 AM
32

🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:42 AM
8

Oh 100%, even in their 30s most men on dating apps just want something casual. We should absolutely treat it like a job interview!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:55 AM
16

I have one male friend that I talk to about relationship problems. He’s serious about finding someone but complained about how women come across as too serious “it’s like a job interview”. I told him that’s actually a good sign because it means these women are serious. He didn’t like my answer. Women are jaded, we can’t be fucked wasting our time making small talk on an app. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:45 AM
37

When they mention that they want kids, you look at their actions, they can’t cook a decent meal or clean up properly. Peter Pan syndrome, they talk fondly about being “a big kid”. When I talk about my goals and aspirations (not even asking support from them) they’ll eventually let you know how it doesn’t align with their life or you eventually figure out they don’t give a damn, but men will always gauge how you respond to their life goals and if you sound supportive. (These are all millennials! …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:08 PM
22

Oh god, 100%. I ignored every single one of these red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:08 PM
9

30
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:34 PM
43

I’d be interested to hear what other ladies think of this. The only story I’ve heard of is a coworker’s daughter who tried it and she didn’t think it was that great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:13 AM
84

Any movie that portrays women as manic pixie dream girls. Those movies are magnets for softbois that want a quirky girl to come save them from their misery. Ick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:10 AM
89

I picked up one of these “hobosexual” men, all the red flags were there but I was blind as a bat. He’s 30 and has a track record of moving in with women because he didn’t have a place, technically these women offered him to stay with them including me! (This was right before I found FDS, I was under the illusion if he wants to move in together it MUST mean he’s committed.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:48 AM
16

The “relationship” that broke me the most only lasted 3 months so I can relate. Someone said it better already, you’ve only met their representative, they haven’t dropped their mask yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:32 AM
2

Uhhm I’m pretty sure a prostate exam involves him bending over for the doctor to examine his prostate through the rectum. 😟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:27 AM
36

Yes yes yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:13 AM
14

Me and my dumbass took till turning 30 to figure this shit out. Faaark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:10 AM
0

slow clap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:06 AM
1

My almost 30 yo virgin ex broke up with me just after my cousin committed suicide. The anger and anxiety in her is soooo relatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:01 AM
2

Yeeees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 11:56 PM
14

So many covert narcissists out there. Love bombing, future faking, hot and cold, gaslighting, devaluing, stonewalling, zero empathy (and they’re probably all addicted to video games.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 11:53 PM
21

Dating is so much harder than school 🤦🏻‍♀️I’ll try your method and see how it goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 12:29 PM
11

Still too high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 10:07 AM
29

That was quick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:34 AM
77

Lol these days if I see the word “vibe” in the OLD context that’s an immediate block and delete for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:03 AM
30

I’m never ever ever playing mum again. “I didn’t ask you to do this” is how all men think. Note to self. I give him the same energy he gives me. Thank fucking god I’m not blind to men’s bullshit anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:17 PM
4

🔥🔥🔥🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:02 PM
1

Awww 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:13 PM
4

Same here, level up. It’s so painful but never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:27 PM
31

Indeed. I’ve considered “gay conversion therapy” for a loooong time 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:30 AM
10

I can dream 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:26 AM
18

I think everyone in this sub dated the same guy, there’s no other explanation. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:48 AM
8

Just watched the trailer for Garden State... it screams depressed loser + maniac pixie. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:07 AM
7

Omg I just died 👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:01 PM
3

!!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:58 PM
8

He’s probably a softboi. lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:54 PM
20

Yeah I dated someone like this, a 29 yo virgin. No one wanted to date him, no one wanted him, then he dumped me faster than anyone else. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:35 PM
5

Eeeek. My guy ended the love bombing at 3 months, thanks to FDS I levelled up and left him at 6 months. I hope you make the right decision. 👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:44 AM
17

Your comment just helped me crack a code that’s bothered me my entire life; I finally get it now. I have always felt emotions too deeply and intensely, I have always cared too much, I have at times felt like my pores open up and I absorb a certain type of energy. In hindsight people that I thought meant 8/10 important to me, for them I probably only meant a 3-4/10. My default seems to be over investing in pretty much every single emotional situation. I recently reached out to a friend and her re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:49 AM
16

💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:02 AM
11

Is he done love bombing you and treating you like air?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:36 AM
29

“Always be in control, don’t trust any man.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:13 AM
1

Pretty much... :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:48 AM
1

I haven’t seen it anywhere??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:08 AM
11

👏👏👏💚🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:52 AM
23

🙋🏻‍♀️🤡 Never.again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:47 AM
4

👊👊👊👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:08 AM
20

Hmm as much as I would want to talk shit about him he actually talked about it quite nonchalantly, he didn’t have an attitude at all, that’s why I didn’t see it as a flag at the time. He didn’t blame them at all, he said one GF didn’t like him jerking off or was it watching porn? I can’t remember. She said it was gross, I mean fair enough. At the time I thought if in the future I didn’t want to have sex I’d be okay with him doing his thing by himself. What do you think?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:06 AM
120

When I first got together with my ex I asked him about his previous relationships and he said initially they were having sex but eventually none of them wanted to have sex. At the time I couldn’t understand why, eventually when I stopped wanting to have sex with him I figured out why. He was attentive and affectionate in the first 3 months of our relationship, he helped out and had initiative (I thought he was a catch) when his mask came off he became a bum that only played video games and had z…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:53 AM
10

👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 10:20 AM
40

Oh my fucking god, this sub continues to blow my mind every.single.day. I’m not alone anymore!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:14 AM
2

🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:08 AM
40

It didn’t even feel good in the bedroom for me because there was no affection other than the act. When he did touch me, for some reason it was only down there... I had to force him to cuddle me and be affectionate with me. I’m still sad but good riddance!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:53 AM
11

💚💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:17 AM
17

What the actual fuck????? O_o????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:16 AM
100

“I am worthy of receiving the same energy I give”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:06 AM
2

This really cracked me up lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:02 AM
6

Damn it’s rough being South Asian. East Asian women “expire” at 30 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:52 PM
6

Preach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:48 PM
3

Eeeek.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:48 PM
11

A self proclaimed male feminist friend told me to “always be in control”, “don’t listen to men, we’re all full of shit. Including me”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:56 AM
1

Savage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:13 AM
5

Ahhhh. True, I never thought of it this way. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:10 AM
3

That made me giggle. So true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:09 AM
15

Gosh I really needed to hear a wholesome story like that. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 12:38 AM
14

🤦🏻‍♀️men are so counter intuitive!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 12:14 AM
3

💚💚💚 love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:08 PM
37

Ohhh you’re not alone. I’m never ever doing that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:24 PM
16

Can you please elaborate on how “men respond to no contact not words”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:22 PM
23

👌🏽💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:10 PM
3

I guess we dated the same person 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:07 PM
13

Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:35 PM
19

Been there, done that. No more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:20 PM
62

I feel exactly the same way my lady. This sub made me realise possibly for the first time in my life (30) I will never get that external validation I’ve craved my whole life. I can look after myself well, I’ve got a great job, I’ve got my hobbies, if a man can’t add anything worthwhile to my life, then there really is no point why I should ever bend over backwards again to please a man; never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:11 AM
49

I didn’t like any of them that much, I was just socialised to give endlessly. When I wanted my needs met after being there for them like a mum and therapist they noped out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:58 AM
7

Ohhh, actually your version makes so much more sense. I can totally see the pet unicorn, it’s beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:08 AM
4

Good on him I guess, for having the ability to introspect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:57 AM
30

Don’t blame you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:42 AM
7

Isn’t the 1am “heyyyy” a classic fuckboy move?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:39 AM
18

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m so glad you’re done with him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:15 AM
13

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Please look after yourself.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:24 AM
3

I’m dying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:33 AM
20

I used to think softboys must all be really nice guys. At least I know now 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:31 AM
24

“You have to treat him so well he doesn’t want to leave” -_-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:22 AM
2

10,000%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:20 AM
4

I feel really happy for her but then y’all ladies are right as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:54 PM
5

Wish I knew this a year ago. Soo true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:52 PM
5

Ahhh same here. “Your version of reality was simply not true.” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:47 PM
13

Oh I’ve got a story too. Profile: 5’7 In real life: eye to eye with me (I’m 5’5) We dated for about 2 months, I never said anything till the day we broke up. I asked him why he lied about his height. His response was “I must’ve lost some height due to all the weights I lift”. My dumbass actually believed him till I later asked a friend. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:02 PM
5

That’s goals. 👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:47 PM
6

Sounds like you dated my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:38 PM
2

💆🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:32 PM
2

Yes yes yes and yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:31 PM
8

When I asked my ex to help me around the house. My ex: “If I’m not living here you’d have to do it yourself anyway” If you’re not here, I wouldn’t spent so much time doing your laundry and cleaning up after you. He was “really impressed” when I did some electrical work by myself. Y’all ladies are right, men can’t offer much at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:31 PM
9

I think you just described 99% of men on tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:20 PM
4

I really like these reminder posts. Otherwise I have a habit of reverting back to self blame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:07 PM
10

Can I order a 1 year subscription of this? Looks like a great read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:00 PM
3

“You’re going to have to drain an ocean of tears” It will take you a really long time to heal, then eventually you’ll get to a point where it doesn’t hurt as much and you’ll only think about it once in a while. Be gentle with yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:56 PM
30

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:36 AM
3

O_o um not yet...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:05 AM
6

I wouldn’t be surprised if this is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:02 AM
12

You’re absolutely right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:39 AM
1

Once you’ve been disappointed enough times you’ll get to a point where you genuinely would rather be alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 12:04 AM
7

Capitalism wins again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:59 PM
9

This is toxic masculinity at its finest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:26 PM
11

Truuuue
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:21 PM
4

🍃🍃☘️💚💚🌸🌸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:17 PM
25

Oh dear, I know it’s hard. (Just ended a relationship too) I know exactly how you feel. That shit he pulled after you reached out is fucking gross, I’m so glad you left an asshole like that because it says a lot about him as a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:04 PM
8

Sellout.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:54 PM
13

It’s like a full time job :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:52 PM
4

That’s unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:45 PM
11

Yeah, that’s how I feel too. I don’t run away when these fears pop up, I reach out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:21 PM
13

Yes, very inappropriate photo for such an article. There is no way around it other than “dump and move on”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:12 PM
21

Great tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:07 PM
27

I feel sick to my stomach knowing this is very much how men operate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:06 PM
2

I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 12:00 PM
22

It all comes down to being invalidated. Our emotions escalate when we’re being gaslit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:56 AM
11

Yup, I also adopted the “I pull away ten times worse” strategy. If they genuinely cared about the relationship they’d try to win me back right? Or have a conversation about what’s going on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:49 AM
8

For me it was about 3 months then he pulled a 180, it wasn’t even a slow decline. It was like talking to a different person, emotionally distant stranger. I don’t use this word very often but it was terrifying. He spoke to his friends the same way but with me it was cold and distant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:01 AM
11

I can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:57 AM
29

100%. I don’t think I have ever heard of any dating advice anywhere, online or in real life where the women is “allowed” to speak her mind, express her desires. She is always told to be traditionally feminine, nice, polite and to speak nicely to her man. All emotions are caused, no one is annoyed, pissed off for no reason. BUT, as women, society does not tolerant us to speak our minds. “Crazy”, “intense”, “too much” are always used when the women is invalidated or ignored. When are men ever taug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:02 AM
2

Wow. Um, well said. slow clap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 07:00 AM
9

Wise woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:54 AM
2

I seriously need to read this over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:35 AM
1

Um o_O what? ??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:32 AM
2

💚💚🍃🍃☘️☘️🌸🌸🌼🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:26 AM
9

I need to see more positive posts like this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:25 AM
9

Where do y’all find these profiles???? I’ve never seen anything this bad in New Zealand. I’ve only ever seen regular fuck boys and guys with an inflated ego, nothing like this?????? This is unreal 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:08 AM
6

Yeah girl, Samesies. 👊❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:55 AM
12

Congrats, we have officially unlocked a new low. sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:28 AM
3

That’s a great way of putting it! I’m already making a bunch of lists, I also plan on keeping a “dating diary” for when I do start dating so I have a record of what they say, it will be much easier to tell if their actions align.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:01 PM
2

Oh wow that’s complicated but makes perfect sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:29 PM
6

He acted like the perfect boyfriend for the first 3 months then did the 180 flip and revealed himself to be a lazy alcoholic pothead that played video games in all his spare time. He was so caring initially then became emotionally shut off. The red flags were always there but back then I thought it was best to have zero expectations, now I know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:15 PM
1

Unbelievable, honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:13 AM
1

He should be bringing you a hot chocolate and asking if you’re okay while he gives you a cuddle not demand you for a blowjob. I would break up with him immediately if someone demanded that from me. It’s not just awful, it’s unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:12 AM
2

You’re right but for the majority of my life I thought the key to being “content” was low expectations. Never again, being alone is so much more peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:56 AM
24

🤦🏻‍♀️ I hope you can move out as soon as you can, it’s a terrible environment for your baby. Is there a women’s refuge where you’re from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:30 AM
7

Thanks to FDS I’ve started to examine not just my most recent break up but every relationship in my life, my family, friends, and every romantic relationship. I’m learning about manipulation tactics and what it means to set boundaries. I’ve been taking a lot of notes so I have reference and it will be something I will continue to add to. Any future romantic relationship I encounter I will proceed with extreme caution because it’s a lot of pain trying to recover from a failed relationship. Right …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:02 AM
3

Absolutely, I’m also starting to reflect on how I always put too much effort into friends who don’t really appreciate me. I recently saw a video by MJ Harris on how one should put in the same level of energy as the other person, the video was made in a dating context but absolutely applies to any type of relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:30 AM
15

This! I recently went through this as well, the meeting his family and friends and the love bombing and future faking, made me drop my guard and he immediately revealed himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:59 AM
6

Oh I feel absolutely the same way, the more I date the more I realise the amount of different types of mind fuck. Love bombing and future making are the worst by far. Towards the end of my last relationship I was replacing what I wanted from a loving partner by basically either paying for it or getting it from friends; physical affection was replaced by cuddling my cats more and getting a massage once a week, emotional affection from friends, sense of validation and female empowerment from FDS a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 01:35 AM
2

Oh yeah, I only recently experienced this as well. The love bombing, and the future faking. In hindsight the facade didn’t last for 3 months then he revealed his true self; lazy, unmotivated pothead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:58 AM
2

I was in a LDR and we talked every.single.day. That was the only thing that kept us connected, he cared about me, he wanted to make me happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:48 AM
3

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:43 AM
7

“Being woken up by his snoring” 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:35 AM
10

My last boyfriend wanted kids but he can’t even clean up or cook a proper meal. I would like a family with the white picket fence but I don’t wanna end up like all those poor women having to look after kids by herself and a man child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:54 AM
1

Need to stick this on my forehead
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:11 AM
1

I can’t stop gaslighting myself :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:20 PM
10

Hah! 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:36 AM
2

I dunno know, I think I prefer “sugar plum”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:00 AM
1

“Always be in control” the single best piece of advice given to me by a self proclaimed male feminist friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:20 AM
5

True.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:33 AM
35

They can’t get what they want so they revert to name calling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:12 AM
76

Needing more space in a long distance is pretty hilarious tbh. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:08 AM
31

I’ve had this exact same sentence said to me before “I love you but I’m not in love with you” it means bullshit. I was confused and heartbroken too, I felt blindsided too. I know you’re hurting right now but it sounds to me like he’s trying to be “nice” and get you to break up with him. I wish I was as brave as you and told him I will just move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:07 AM
1

Riiiight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:54 PM
1

Wish I knew this a year ago :/ It all makes so much sense now... ://
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:51 PM
15

I was so brainwashed by society, I honestly used to think if a guy didn’t want to have sex with me on the first couple of dates he’s not interested. Now I realise the men that had more boundaries and were taking their time to get to know me and didn’t initiate sex immediately are the ones with integrity. Then again I never had any sort of female role models growing up, I honestly thought I was a sensible young woman who knew what she was doing. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️OLD culture is so toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:51 PM
8

Don’t blame you :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:39 PM
3

This is fantastic, I like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:37 PM
12

My ex recently moved out and he sounds pretty similar to your ex. I still feel hurt but I know it will pass, I refer to some of the posts I’ve saved from here and I keep reminding myself he was never there for me emotionally and I’m done being his mum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:55 PM
14

Ahhh samesies; it’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one who feel this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:18 AM
11

Ahhh yes! Reading the handbook was emotionally validating and indeed helpful. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:19 AM
7

Sigh. .. going from dating to married just sounds super impossible:/// I’m just glad I’m not worried about being alone again, it’s honestly a great place to be emotionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:12 AM
8

It’s starting to feel like a losing game for me. It feels almost impossible for a woman to know for sure if the guy will commit. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:15 AM
17

He had initiative when we first moved in together and I thought he was a catch. He cleaned up without being asked to, then over the span of a couple of months things started to deteriorate. He moved out last night but it just hurts. Relationships don’t feel like an investment, it feels like a gamble, you never know what you’re gonna get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:45 PM
15

Yup. What can we even do? You ask them to do it, it turns into “nagging”. You don’t ask, you have to deal with living in a mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:39 PM
9

🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:17 PM
38

Boyfriend moved out last night, I really needed to hear this. Thanks 🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:14 PM
2

Oomf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:19 AM
61

Jokes on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:41 PM
6

Lol same 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:54 AM
7

👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:38 AM
17

This is what this sub helped me realise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:26 AM
12

That’s boss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:50 AM
4

Yeah, OP missed out 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:33 AM
25

Gosh I used to do that in real life and ask male friends what I can do to be a better potential girlfriend. I feel sick thinking about it now because it took me till 30 to realise ALL women are socialised to give give and give.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:28 AM
51

This is what made me realise perhaps I don’t want to date anymore. I never even realised till this sub that I had to fit exactly into his lifestyle (it was all about what he wanted in life instead of meeting me in the middle). He was never going to compromise even though he’s the 29 yo virgin that no one wanted to date. I used to think he wasn’t misogynistic but I failed to realise how deep rooted misogyny is in our culture. Somehow it wasn’t too much for me to baby him, validate his insecuritie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:12 AM
6

“I will not be over eager to commit” NEVER AGAIN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 01:14 AM
23

I’m dying. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:04 AM
7

Ick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:04 AM
8

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:35 AM
24

yellow fever. I can’t even. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:32 AM
36

Not sure if this one is common but it really irked me when I saw it. Instead of something like “looking for a girlfriend to spend quality time with” they said “looking for the RIGHT girl”... it just sounds so fuckboy. Eww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:13 AM
33

Classic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:09 AM
3

Yup yup yup yup yup!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:03 AM
11

😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:59 AM
52

I’ve noticed a similar pattern too, I find it extremely unbelievable but everything with men feels counter intuitive. So weird. Edit: I’m just glad I’ve cracked the code. No more unnecessary heartache!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:30 AM
19

So romantic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:07 AM
5

This really cracked me up but so wise at the same time. 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:23 AM
24

Yep yep yep yep. Once I connected the dots from this sub there was no going back. And ever since then I just cannot with men. Same. 10,000%. I just don’t tolerate it like I used to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:01 AM
11

Dw, me too 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:28 AM
18

Guilty 👋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:21 AM
8

O_o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:19 AM
6

That’s what I did lol 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:16 AM
7

Yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:53 PM
31

5”5, 29 yo virgin that no one wanted to date. He also had ED but I never once complained about the lack of sex because I didn’t want to hurt his fragile ego, I gave him all the validation and encouragement, I felt like his mother tbh, he would also physically lean on me like a small child. I made him steak and salmon for dinner and even sometimes packed him lunch, oh and I also gave him a massage very regularly. When it came to my turn to be vulnerable it was “too much”, “I can’t carry your hurt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:40 PM
10

👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:26 PM
22

Thanks to this sub I went from depressed asf and “why can’t I find someone, I do so much for them bla bla” to feeling empowered asf. This mind shift literally changed overnight and I feel so empowered. I still want the same things but I’m not gonna lower my standards and drain myself just to please men. For years I couldn’t figure out how to be at peace with the idea of possibility being alone forever but now thanks to this sub I’m finally content just being by myself and being nice to myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:03 AM
83

Those guys are called sexpats in the Asian diaspora community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:38 AM
7

Glad to hear I’m not alone on this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:45 AM
20

👊👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:16 AM
25

:/ I feel so depressed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:11 AM
6

I needed to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 07:59 AM
7

You’re not alone, I feel the same way. Thanks to FDS I no longer give unreservedly. I don’t really get any affection/ what I want in intimacy and I’m no long in my “I need to please him” mode, I guess it’s not that unusual to not be turned on when our partners don’t put in any efforts to please us?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 07:57 AM
4

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 07:48 AM
6

🤦🏻‍♀️Guilty, I did it for 10 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:19 AM
4

👊👊👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:07 AM
6

Why are there so many throwaway accounts in here???!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:09 AM
2

Oh I definitely agree with that, that’s exactly how I feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:52 PM
4

I feel like everyone is emotionally unavailable these days; men and women in my experience :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:48 PM
41

Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 08:48 AM
7

Girl, I’m on the same boat 👊👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:47 AM
21

Sigh...I reckon my life would be so much easier if I were gay. I always joke about how I need “gay conversion” therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:46 AM
7

Love seeing positive posts like this, really happy for you girl :))) 👊👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:44 AM
10

Noted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:52 AM
14

For the majority of my adult life I thought about owning a home one day with my beloved. We’d look after each other, pay the mortgage together, have a veg garden, a couple of cats and a Labrador and just be there for each other. I’m slowly starting to accept I’m never going to get there if I wait for a man to show up in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:51 AM
21

Took me ten years to learn this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:31 AM
2

Thanks for the positive post. I feel so hopeless most of the time. ..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:38 PM
3

Sigh... :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:25 AM
21

Unfortunately this is the reality of a lot of Asian culture... in my experience South Asian culture can be far worse than other Asian countries. Poor Indian women indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:24 AM
16

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:05 AM
3

Congrats girl!! 👊👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 03:04 AM
3

Same! I feel really happy for OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 03:03 AM
14

Are you me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:08 AM
3

Now I just feel like an idiot :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:06 AM
12

I used to only pick out guys women aren’t interested in dating thinking if I treat them well they’re gonna treat me much much better than guys with a giant ego; now I just feel hurt and naive asf :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:57 AM
3

Thank you, we want part 2!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:26 AM
3

Now that’s genius!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:39 AM
1

Lol I do this too. My go to is usually “too small”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:37 AM
10

👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 09:51 AM
6

I’m “too much”. This was actually one of the reasons why my last boyfriend left me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 09:43 AM
3

Gold
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:38 AM
13

Argh. Triggered!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:57 AM
60

Or “You’re too intense, just chill” No, you need to fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:56 AM
30

“I’m chill” 🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:54 AM
2

Lol 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:27 AM
8

This is just wrong on so many levels...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:26 AM
23

“Crazy” is the word men use to control women, nowadays I shut people down when I hear that word used on any women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:11 AM
12

Girl, block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:08 AM
102

Sigh... thanks to this sub I no longer feel like it’s my “duty” to baby sit my BF like a mother. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking him up and dropping him off, I used to give him a massage after work as well, I expected him to do the same for me in his way but then it hit me...it’s always been one sided....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 03:37 AM
3

I feel the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:28 AM
6

Omg, you sound just like me!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:19 AM
41

This sub is seriously saving my self esteem. 👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:14 AM
2

Samesies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:12 AM
4

I wish I found this sub before I wasted a year of my life on OLD apps :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:31 AM
1

“Bangmaid” Omg, I died. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:19 AM
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