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koolaidkid12345 Archive

View 20 posts and 287 comments by koolaidkid12345 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
19

koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 03:11 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 05:45 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 10:07 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 04:34 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 10:03 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 07:31 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:30 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 01:20 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 08:00 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 12:49 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 04:01 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 05:55 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 06:11 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 03:44 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 05:46 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 09:58 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 04:46 PM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 05:11 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 05:08 AM
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koolaidkid12345/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 08:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I hear you. I am pretty sure the majority of them is more about material/money/being spoiled than daddy issues. Some do have daddy issues.. but I would bet most its just about not having to deal with shit jobs and work all the time and have a monetary lifestyle in return.. sex. Which they typically enjoy anyway.. so maybe they're not with a 25 to 30 year old hot stud muffin.. but a 45 to 50 year old with a nice bod, plenty of money and no bullshit often is better anyway. Hell most older guys don…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 04:45 AM
1

50/50 states in USA.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 10:23 PM
1

That is what I am doing as well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:20 PM
1

I was thinking if I filed now.. but held off serving for a few months, but to lock in the date in case she wants to go spend a ton of money and charge shit up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:18 PM
4

This is why I dislike the young 20 somethings. Almost all of them are clueless about life in general, like how to tip or pay taxes or deal with interest rates or what to do if a tire is flat, etc. Just basic shit. But worse is the conversations.. I am older.. bit slower.. I dont want to constantly give you attention and need to go places all the time. But I do want to have decent conversation when we talk. Early 20s "know it all" and know almost nothing. I have kids that age.. they are intellige…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:15 PM
3

To add to this.. I would tend to think most of us here would want to find a woman that can be fun, laid back, maybe or maybe not kids, good/enjoys sex and isn't going to come up with 100 reasons why she cant/wont, but isn't super clingy and wanting to get married (right away). We'd want our freedom/lives without being locked in and having to constantly spend time every day, unless you're moving in with them. Me personally, I really just want to find a laid back easy going lady, in her 40s or so.…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:09 PM
2

Honestly.. not only is early to mid 20s going to require good looks AND money.. but why? I would bet 1 out of every 100,000 at that age are mature enough to be worth bothering. If you're purely going for sex.. then as others said.. just pay for an escort. Likely going to be around the same cost.. you'll get your pick.. no fucking around for a while trying to find one.. and you get hours or a night or whatever of just banging/smashing for what.. $1000? I don't even know what an escort costs.. I a…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:04 PM
2

Did that hole for all expenses, etc after that date? I am curious if there are restrictions as to what that entails. Like if you buy yourself a car, a house, other expensive stuff.. does all that now stay with you or is all that still marriage assets because you're not officially divorced yet. Same with stock in a company, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 08:38 AM
2

So what do you think you'll do? Put cameras in all over and let her have an hour? I just dont get it though. My wife would do the same thing to me.. make sure she is home.. the problem is.. she would go after EVERYTHING I say is mine.. and though I get that usually you have a list of things that are big ticket items like furniture, tvs, etc.. a lot of the smaller shit is just WAY too petty/small/etc to list out. It's not like you're going to list printer paper, a desk matt or keyboard, etc.. mos…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 11:05 PM
1

So question.. can't you just put her stuff out the morning she's coming over? Why does she have to go IN the house. If you know and she knows what's hers.. just put it out the day she's coming.. and she can take it. PLUS.. if she has furniture.. she lifting it herself out.. or bringing another person over in to your house? If you HAVE to let her in and not be there.. you should be able to move any persona/etc stuff in to a room and lock that.. and put up cameras.. cheap wifi ones all over to cov…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 06:35 AM
6

WOW. That is not good. Why would your lawyer say that?
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 06:33 AM
2

Holy shit that was so damn hard to read. Also.. like.. I was lost. Maybe reword it, put in some punctuation and break it up a little? I don't know if I should feel bad for you or not. I got part of it.. you sold the house..a marriage asset and took the money. Not sure if you are somehow able to keep it all or not, but I would imagine unless you live in a place where you can do that, you'll owe half and more to your ex.. because most judges would say you fucked her over selling it AND taking the …
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 03:25 PM
2

Keep this in mind. Your kids will very likely understand a bit later in life and you'll still have them. Right now, though I know you dont want to abandon them or feel like you did.. you can't do good for them if you yourself are not doing good. You have to focus on you right now. Try to see them.. even if supervised visits and for 10 minutes.. so they know you are in their life. That may be hard especially if ex is selling them on how daddy has problems, etc.. and they are young and easily mani…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 08:06 PM
4

Oddly.. must be my 50s now or something.. but most games bore me too quick now. Try to play some, but within 1/2 hour or so I am like.. feel like I wasted my time and got not much out of it. Sometimes it's not bad.. especially if a couple buddies and I hop on for a bit. I think honestly all the stress over money, pending divorce, future of my kids (all 18+) and how they'll move out and figure out life, etc.. all of that is compounding on top of uncertainty about my own job and then the worry my …
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 09:59 PM
7

Are you me? I feel like once the kids arrived.. a LOT of what we talked about how we would raise kids.. went out the window and it all became HER WAY. Not only about the kids, but suddenly I wasn't doing enough around the house, and that in turn pushed me away as well.. I got so tired of her bullshit about how I wasnt good enough or doing things enough, etc.. that I just stopped doing more and started playing video games or working more. Which of course compounded the shit. Yah.. kids change peo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 06:09 PM
1

My STBXW records a lot of our stuff lately.. where I directly say I dont want her doing that. Wont matter if she edits that part out. That said, she claims if I file she is going to share all these videos of me on social media to my family and our friends. I said.. please do. I'd love for you to do it. You would look like the psycho I've been telling them you are. More so.. who is going to want to listen to hours of us fighting/disagreeing.. for what purpose. If we're going our separate ways, ho…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 10:03 PM
1

Living in the marriage has been a bumpy ride for 20 years. I can't imagine it being any worse other than financially.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 09:57 PM
2

Yup. Seems its different for everyone. I told /u/walkingdisaster4046 that my buddy with 17+ years of marriage was told its 20+ years for life alimony. He got 1/2 the marriage. Not sure why its different for others. I was told by my lawyer its case by case basis. There should NEVER be a reason though, if the woman can work, that a man should have to pay her for life. That's bullshit. Frankly, it shouldn't even be 1/2 the marriage. The man has to give up 1/3 to 1/2 his paycheck (depending on a 2x …
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 10:02 PM
1

Strange. Had a friend with 17 year marriage.. ex tried to do that, they said 20+ years in Cali. Maybe every county is different. Who knows. Seems odd though that one person with 17+ years would be told no.. only 20+ years.. and you with 12 is told yes, 10+ years. Whatever.. seems like its always left up to a single person.. the judge.. regardless of what the lawyers or law says.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 09:53 PM
-2

Cali is 20 years for life, not 10. She can ask, but likely wont get it. Very very rare to see lifetime alimony even with 20+ years of marriage. There has to be circumstances that make it hard for her to survive without.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:18 AM
6

I mean.. you're not wrong for some.. but I have a few friends who I know get laid every day, 10+ years in to marriage. It's not all women, and many men also lose interest, too tired, physically not attracted, etc. Lots of shit hits us all. That said, I do agree that with women it's often a solid connection they desire/require to be turned on.. and the physical act of an orgasm alone is not enough. I am not a religious man, but I'd quote "God is screwing with us when they made men and women". I'd…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:06 AM
2

I did the suffer. If you two are NOT fighting, and can amicably talk/communicate and if you do argue, not in front of them.. and you truly don't want to miss out on their lives.. you could go this route. Suffer, take care of yourself (your sexual needs) like most of us do.. porn basically when nobody is around, and get by. I will say.. I wish I had filed a long time ago.. and for me the only reason I didnt..well besides my kids growing up in tow homes, etc.. was money. I knew with 3 kids + alimo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 09:39 PM
2

That is harsh! Sorry brother. My only thought is maybe she feels she can take care of that herself now and there were other issues that she wasn't willing to put up with. Gotta be honest about myself.. sex is not about love for me. It is BETTER if you love.. for sure.. it's more intimate and powerful. But I have had sex (not love making) with my STBXW a couple times in the last year and each time it was great. I made sure she got her orgasm, I blew my load.. felt great. The feeling of it.. espec…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 05:09 PM
1

That is true. Quality over quantity, but ideally a few times a week is fantastic.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 05:05 PM
0

I have kind of wondered about this route. I am no fan of flying.. but sometimes the alure of a younger mail order bride (though I dont ever want to get married again) where you can take your time to meet and find a woman who is like this would be far better than hoping the woman you are meeting for a date from an app or a friend setup is going to be like that. I do see some stories of married men/women who have sex daily and love each other. That was me 20+ years ago. But that changed after kids…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:54 PM
1

More or less what most men do when they tie that knot. "Yes.. daily sex forever.. this will be great"... (3 days later...) "What do you mean you're not in the mood? A week ago you couldn't get enough?"
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:50 PM
4

Agree on all points.. the only thing I have a hard time with is the damn sex itch. Thought by my 50s that would go away but shit, I still like to see/feel the real thing. Not trying to be gross.. but I miss that one aspect of female companionship. I realize it probably makes me an asshole for thinking of a woman like that, truly not the only reason to be with one, but the physical act of sex is so damn hard to replace.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:48 PM
2

I think either you use a dating site.. and hope you find someone that matches there, or you just stop looking and if it happens, it happens. Someone you once knew or went to school with, a friend of a friend you met (or meet) at a party or something, church for those that do that, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:45 PM
2

Yup! My kids are 18+ now, but I feel like my relationship with them is going to be that of an old friend.. especially this new age group where calling on the phone is a no go, texting is the norm, so our communications will be "Hey.. how you doing son, whats new?" "Nothing"... (wait a few minutes). "So.. job.. friends.. dating life.. money.. health.. nothing changed?" .. "no". "Ok.. good talk, check back in 6 months.". I really feel like since my marriage has been utter shit for 2 decades and my…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 07:22 PM
1

Well.. I have found that coke and jack is my new go to. There is something about that flavor.. I can do days, weeks even without a drink, but then from time to time Safeway has a great sale on soda where 12 cans are like $5.. I typically buy the cans only when on sale like that instead of the 2 liter bottle cause I usually try to limit myself to about 3 to 4 shots of jack and a can of soda.. since soda is so bad for us. But I can't drink it without soda.. it burns my throat and too strong to sip…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 06:53 PM
2

That is a very interesting and yet seemingly accurate depiction of men, women and marriage/divorce. I am sure a LOT of women would blow up at this idea. To be fair, a lot of men wouldn't see it this way either.. there are plenty of men who feel love/religion/etc and would argue this is wrong. But I would bet most men would agree more or less with what you said here. I 100% agree in that MANY times I've used the phrase "if I do this for you we going to fool around later" or what not. OR.. many ti…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 09:28 PM
1

Yah.. we've rarely had sex.. but I dont get why that is. I was told that gives her reason to say there is still love or some shit.. who cares? Why is it we can do hookups and that's ok.. but in marriage sex somehow is a thing they can use against us? It makes literally no sense that sex is the thing that is used against us. For fuck's sake.. what if I was making a good faith effort.. and a month later it just wasn't working out. "Oh but you had sex a month ago.. so now you're fucked". Why? Cause…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 06:34 AM
1

Nah.. I am not going to do that. That literally sounds like teenage shit and everyone that I know would call me an asshole for being like that. She threatens to do that to me.. she wants to posts videos of us fighting, my room being messy, etc. I said please do. People are going to see what an immature bitch you are for doing that. Who wants to sift through hours of someone elses failed marriage dirty laundry?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 06:31 AM
1

I am told in my state, that if I were to go from good paying job to 1/2 my pay (which is still good pay in a lot of places).. courts will claim I did it on purpose EVEN if I tried for months for a similar job and could never get one.. and that they would still order I pay the higher salary alimony regardless that I wouldnt be making enough to even afford that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 08:03 PM
1

So when I lock the door and she starts kicking and banging it, while I am at work.. wtf I do? Call police.. so that my kids (3 living with us) see that dad called cops on mom.. and so on? It's such a shit situation here.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 08:02 PM
1

She wont leave me alone. Even though I pay the bills, she always is telling me to leave, but on top of that, she wont stop coming in to my room, saying it's her house, etc. As we have kids here too (20+ years of age though), I am really REALLY trying to avoid fighting/etc in front of them.. but that is almost pointless.. we both yell a ton and very loud.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 08:01 PM
1

So in my state.. where it is a required by law to get consent to record.. it can not be used as evidence unless its a domestic abuse.. and even that is not on the spot when the cops show up. There are some stories where severe lies are made like "he threatened me with knife" and the guy is like "I got the last 4 hours on video.. you can watch it here.. I never use a knife" etc.. but I think those are case by case. Most have to go to judge/lawyers and take month+ before shit happens usually espec…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 07:59 PM
1

She'll like move in with her parents who wont charge her. She could do that and live off of my alimony just fine. Talk about utter bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 07:57 PM
1

She should be working.. but isnt. She could have same salary (or similar) to me.. but will likely do everything she can to avoid that to fuck me over.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 07:55 PM
1

Yah.. did that to pay down one CC, unfortunately some stupid ass home owner expenses hit us and I maxed it out again. Really sucks.. while I loathe the idea of renting.. the one benefit is when shit hits the fan of the house, you're not paying for it. Owning a home has the one downside in divorce.. having to spend money to fix things while still living here. Like plumbing and other crap that day to day needs to work. Every time I start to get ahead.. some other bullshit comes up. But I DO want t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 07:54 PM
1

The thing is.. I have a VERY good lawyer that was recommended to me by a friend (lawyer different area though) that is a woman (best for men to have woman lawyer apparently) and she is VERY good at what she does. Has a solid record of getting her clients the best divorce deals. That said.. she is not cheap, likely cause she is good. She tends to know the judges as well which doubles the chances of doing well as a guy. So I absolutely know my STBXW is going to do everything she can to screw me ov…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 07:46 PM
2

I have read that. The problem is.. the daily (multiple times a day) of hours.. literally.. not even making that up. hours every day of screaming yelling, disagreements. It's REALLY bad for our health.. both of us have health issues including heart disease, etc. Stuff I hope to work on once I am out and on my own.. but that's if I dont drop dead from the literally 7 days a week yelling/screaming/fighting we do. With the way things go, she'll call cops or some bullshit on me, and then all my shit …
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 05:39 AM
3

As far as I can tell.. alimony is not enforceable. You pay our stuff first.. whatever is left (excluding some side cash money for savings).. you make a good faith payment. IF thats 100 a week.. so be it. When she complains you report back to court this is all you have left after your barely survivable expenses. Assuming that is the case. I am unclear in my west coast 50/50 state if I would pay more or less. Was not entirely sure what you make monthly now. I am curious how bad it will get for me.…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:41 AM
1

We have house, cars, retirement. I mean I have no money in bank, and my monthly take home if I move out wont cover costs for lawyer.. especially once I have to ALSO start paying 35% or so of my income to STBXW for alimony until divorce is final. Not sure what that amount will be.. but I imagine it will be a bit. So that + rent at $3000 + food, car, insurance, etc.. wont leave anything left for lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:31 AM
3

So I spoke to lawyer.. hidden cameras are only good in the situation of a fight.. in 50/50 state that require consent to be recorded, no consent nothing sticks/used. She won't agree on camera to be recorded. Already tried that. I can't afford a lawyer. I literally have 0 money for one. The one I spoke to needs 8K retainer to start.. 8K.. I still need 6K to move out.. so I have to magically come up with 14K JUST to get started.. that's 6 months+ from now for me, if not longer. And that 8K retaine…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:18 AM
1

I'll give you about the best answer I can think of. This doesn't hold for everyone of course. I find today social media is a LOT of the problem. Case in point, before social media... before Facebook, I had 0 contact with kids from high school, old GFs I dated or girls I wanted to date, etc. Without FB (and similar apps for sure), it was near impossible to find/chat up/flirt/meet old class mates or friends, or see friends of friends that were interesting and possibly meet/run in to them. We used …
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 02:55 PM
1

Oddly.. I am in my office 18 hours a day and try to avoid being around folks most of the time, so I dont think that would be an issue for me.. alone. I like it. Peaceful vs the alternative. But can see kids, family, etc from time to time which is fine. I have a TON of hobbies, not the least of which is gaming which eats up a lot of time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 07:06 AM
0

Make sure you finger/smell that pussy and see if it smells normal or not. Bet there has been some other dick up there. This is NOT normal behavior of someone in a omitted marriage. If you want to try an experiment.. why dont YOU go out all night, dont call her, nothing, just go to a hotel or whatever.. come home at 7am, trashed (or fake it), and see what she does. But yah, there is no reason for marriage any more. Stay bf/gf if you want, but dont lock in. I would annul that shit asap.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 06:12 AM
1

That is true. I'd prefer to just offer/buy right away (from the value of the house sale or retirement or something) though.. rather than give to her, then buy back and go through all that paperwork/hassle.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 06:57 PM
2

Man, I feel bad for folks like OP in situations like this. Makes me glad my kids are finally 17+ and soon all on their own. I can't even fathom my STBXW moving in some bum to be around my kids. I'd straight tell her my kids aren't listening to this dude. They are your kids and my kids. Dont ask or expect him to tell my kids what to do. You got issues, send them to my house. I still don't grasp how various states have different (but similar) laws around ex's and dating. I get that its ok to date,…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:00 AM
1

Well, there are random values floating around. Right now our external secondary market value is like $5 a share. My strike price however is like $1 a share. I'd like to buy her 1/2.. so I own ALL my stock.. from the value of our house. I have 50K shares, her half would be 25, $1, so I'd owe her $25K to own her shares. I'd use the value of the home ($300k after loan is paid off) to pay her 25K from that when we sell it (or she buys me out). But if I have to buy her shares at $5 a share.. that 125…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:48 AM
1

No clue if they will be worth something one day or not, but honestly would take that gamble. What's holding me up is figuring out if I have to wager the value of our home (about 300K in profit.. split in half 150K each) to "buy" her half or if the real amount I would owe her is 1/2 * strike price (which would be about 25K I would owe her based on strike price and what little I have). If it's just my strike price, and I can give her that for her half, then I am good with that. They are almost ass…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:43 AM
1

So I have NOT bought them yet. We have a 3 year window to buy them.. so I guess they are options? Like they are vested.. but before I can cash them I'd have to pay a strike price to own them. So those are options? That is what I was thinking. If I have options at $1 strike price per share, and I have 10,000, then it would cost me $10K to "own" those options (thus they become shares is that right?). So she would be entitled to 50%.. so 5000 options. She can't own options (I think that is what you…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 10:38 PM
1

HAHA. That was good.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 08:19 PM
1

Great point.. i feed off the female in to it as much as I am. Fake moans and shit dont work. Turn off.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:34 PM
1

This is a good point.. more so.. in some places you could end up with a young girl not even realizing (given how some mature, makeup, dressed up, etc) .. which is so fucking wrong in some many levels. I'd want to save the girl from that life more than find a young hot thing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:32 PM
2

I am curious what it costs to be honest. I have often thought hiring a hooker.. like not some skanky looking one on the street but some sort of service you call and get to pick/choose one you might find attractive, is expensive. I am not long lasting dude.. shit she hot enough I need only a few minutes at most.. but for the amount of money it would cost, I would use porn/toy/etc over paying $500 or even $100 to sink my dick in a hole. It's just so damn expensive for a quick release even if it wo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:30 PM
1

So.. moving in but not marriage.. just as bad? Or is the fact that you could just move out and on at a moments notice enough to keep a GF interested even if you living with them, vs got your own place and see her every so often?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:11 PM
1

Sounds like my marriage.. toxic almost every day for 25 years, but sex was good when we did it. Then again, I have no empathy or emotional attachment to her.. for decades now, but sex still felt good to blow my load.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:34 PM
1

I'd be curious why? Was it you two knew each others body's, felt comfortable with what you had, what yo could do, and now you are feeling more anxiety over performance, etc?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 06:04 PM
0

Will definitely do that. Saw some new ones with heated rotating pulsating movements.. look amazing. Not sure how they feel though.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 05:50 PM
3

You should change your name to Fresh-Genius-69
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 05:41 PM
1

Well.. I don't know about "LONG" way for me.. I'm not that well endowed.. but I get the point (figuratively..)
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 05:36 PM
1

Nothing wrong with that. I think most men can "put it in" with no emotional attachment, etc.. but those same men, most of them would much prefer an actual person they care about who cares back. It definitely means more, is more fun, and probably even feels better than just blowing your load in a vagina (or. .ass.. whatever your pref). So I would suspect like many men after divorce, that feeling of getting hurt, or going through those pains fucks up the intimacy. Makes total sense it would.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 05:33 PM
7

It's not even the 50% up until the divorce.. its the 50% (or more) AFTER divorce for so many men.. including if you make more money, better job, etc.. you have to giver her that too. That's utter bullshit. WTF is up with women's rights, but in divorce all that goes right out the door. They get to be lazy, enjoy "similar" lifesytle without working, while man has to continue to work.. and fuck the man if he loses job or takes a lower paying job because that was all he could find. They still get fu…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 09:53 PM
1

Well.. I am basically doing that now. Trying to pay down debt, sell shit, pack shit up and store it for when I am ready to move on. But basically gearing up to have most of what I need already paid for/waiting so when I leave, I only need to buy a few things (e.g. bed, couch, some stuff for kitchen) and find an affordable place to live. I primarily want a house not an apartment because I cant deal with neighbors.. anxiety and other issues, and right now the cost to rent apartments in my area are…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 10:03 PM
7

Worse.. she could move in with a super rich guy, AND have a 5 mil inheritance handed to her if her mom/dad had that much and died.. and you STILL have to fucking pay. She could win the lottery.. and you STILL have to fucking pay. She could have 100x more than you, and the courts wont care. It's such a fucking sham its unreal. How the hell they don't account for their living situation, financial situation.. "oh.. she lives with a guy that makes millions, she has 5mil in the bank (we see it right …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:39 PM
6

I think this is a common advice that can land folks in trouble. You cant just stop working. Courts especially in 50/50 states wont care. They will claim you can find another job making same money. You have to have some good documentation as to why you dont have a job to offset alimony until you do. At least this is what I am reading a ton of with regards to my own situation where my job field is aging me out and my 200K+ salary will likely go down to 100K in a year or two especially with the mar…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:35 PM
2

I would have filed when she had a job. Now that she doesn't I am stuck waiting for her to get a job.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 08:13 PM
1

Given our age and STBXW medical issues.. if I dont pay for a bit, then she were to die (natural causes of course.. ) would that be the end of it.. or would the court still pester me years later to pay what I hadnt?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 12:09 AM
1

Maybe its time there is. It's a multi-billion dollar business.. why one person can literally fuck some guy over cause they dont like guys, or are old and believe in the old ways, while another judge presiding over the same case might have a completely different outcome.. one that makes it fair for both parties for example.. is unreal that it can go unchecked. Is there any recourse. Can you file a lawsuit against the county/clerk/judge or what not and claim some sort of unjust or biased ruling? T…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 07:56 PM
1

What would entail... they try to collect how? By sending you notices that you owe money?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:57 PM
1

I have spoken to a lawyer. She basically told me it depends a lot on the judge we get.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:56 PM
1

So let me get this straight.. if Trump gets convicted.. he can appeal and possibly overturn etc. But if you get fucked, you have no recourse, no ability to find a different judge? One person out of almost 8 billion on the planet gets to dictate your fate? So.. if a person off's them self, is the judge responsible in any way for that death? I mean, if the judge fucks a person over (usually man, but there are some stories the woman gets fucked over).. to the point that person can't keep their head…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:55 PM
1

Ah. OK. Well shit if that is the case, then what IS the concern if you don't pay at all, or for some time. Can they put a lien on a home you buy, repo your car, or dock your pay for alimony payments? Or is it purely a thing you owe, but largely on good faith you'll pay it. I ask this not because I would actually not pay it. If I have the means I would. But if I bring home 5K, my rent is 2800, food is 500, car is 600, gas is about 300, insurance 150, CC debt and school loan about 500 minimum.. I …
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:48 PM
1

Sorry not entirely sure what that means?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:15 AM
1

I cant afford it yet. I need about 3500 just to move out.. and with a job likely gone.. and no income.. kinda hard to lock in to a least and then not be able to pay for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:14 AM
1

I read previously that you can't be jailed for not paying.. so unsure how the hell its a thing if we can just avoid paying anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 12:32 AM
1

​ I have been for years. She's worked part time here and there. Used to be to be home with kids.. that was fine. but about 5 years ago our youngest was old enough to be home alone and we had another a coupl eyears older.. so its not like he'd be home for hours on end. Just a couple after school. It's really lame.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 12:31 AM
2

That makes no sense. How can they expect something you have no control over in the absolute worst job market in my life time? There is almost 0 chance with over 100 applicants for every role I Try to apply to. It's an utter shit show, and will be for a good 6 months to year or more. This is unreal to me that the people in positions of judge/lawyers/etc completley ignore real shit happening to people every day and just make shit up for one person and not the other. If I am expected to find anothe…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 11:53 PM
10

Sometimes I dont think its the woman. It's the fucking process.. the govt take all the damn money. This is why marriage is such a sham now. It's just not worth all the money you have to give to her while she gets to enjoy a life long vacation (usually not always). It's bullshit. Bitches want all this equal rights and shit, why cant they stand on their own two feet and work too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 03:41 AM
2

I wouldn't advocate taking your life. I have personally thought sometimes.. just join the military and risk my life there doing something good. Not sure that is the answer, but might take your mind off of it more, and you'd make a lot less but have food, house, and new friends.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 03:39 AM
1

Was that agreed by her.. or court agrees? I would like to give STBXW house (about 200K to each of us after loan is paid back) to avoid alimony.. but she says nope.. she wont accept anything.. she wants me to pay for for life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 12:08 AM
2

late 50s.. same situation.. STBXW is a bitch but says its all my fault.. was trying to give her everything to avoid alimony.. house, cars, etc.. just me take my stuff and no alimony.. she is like nope you're paying me alimony. So the only thing that holds me up is money really. I dont have enough to move out and/or afford a lawyer.. and concern over my job and how much alimony I Am going to owe. I make around 200K, she could make about 180K but she hasnt worked much.. part time most of our marri…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 12:05 AM
1

If you take sex out of the equation.. you wont regret it. It sounds like one of your big.. if not only hangup is the sexual bit of it. Your wife is a great woman, works hard, makes good money, you like everything about her except the body/sex, is that right? So.. I had a similar thing with my wife before things went to shit. Though I enjoyed sex, she was lacking some things I would prefer. Just my own things I wish I had in a woman. We all got some things we like. But I would turn to porn and ta…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 09:17 PM
2

Damn bro.. you threw away a great thing. Given how most stories here are about how guys make more and get screwed over.. you are at least in a position of the opposite.. at least for about 3 years if you're in a 50/50 state. She would owe you decent alimony based on pay diff for about 3 years or so. That is ONLY if you file divorce and do NOT tell her about affair. You tell her anything.. you're likely going to get fucked.. though most 50/50 states don't seem to care about affairs either.. so de…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 09:04 PM
10

Right! It's unreal how someone is so petty that you clean and they say its not enough. Well shit bitch, clean it yourself then and don't ask me to do it or get mad when I don't. I have this argument with my STBXW all the fucking time. She constantly complains about shit not good enough, but then either doesn't do it herself or when I dont blows up about me not helping. While I pay all the bills and she watches TV all day. Right.. I am supposed to feel bad about working/paying for everything, hel…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:09 PM
2

Wow.. ok. You did NOT say anything about splitting money with her in your prior response dickweed. How was I supposed to magically read your mind?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:07 PM
1

I mean.. my response to his clearly is saying "I am not sure what you are saying.. best guess.. can you elaborate". I don't get your response either. I absolutely could not grok the response.. I think my questions are clearly indicating that so not sure why you responded as you did. He said he made 800K to 1.5m a year. He moved 2000 miles away. His response to mine, which was talking about my fear of alimony costs, etc.. made me respond as I did. Is he saying he moved away to avoid alimony.. cau…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:05 PM
2

I fail to see what your response is trying to say. It sounds like you're saying you left your lady with nothing, skated the law and they've no idea where you are to come get you? Did she have family, kids (you guys?) etc to get help, or you straight up abandoned her and she basically had to figure out everything at 65ish years of age give or take a few years?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 05:08 AM
2

I have a good lawyer.. just cant afford her 10K up front initial cost.. she is VERY well received in the area.. and guys having women lawyers tend to do better as well. So I am doing what I can to save and be able to afford her before I file.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:41 PM
2

That's the crazy thing about men vs women though in this scenario. It is probably why women in general try to screw men out of everything possible and get as much possible.. and I am curious if it was women lawyers who also went through divorce that pushed forward the changes that are in place now.. and/or partly feminism. But.. most women tend to go over the hill far sooner than most men. There are crazy hot 50 year old women.. (Looking at you JLo).. but compared to men.. far far fewer at that …
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:39 PM
3

Right on. Couldn't agree more. Alimony was originally supposed to be short term and help women get back in to the job market. Not long term or for life so they could coast and not have to work. I don't know when the hell it changed, but you know lawyers (and judges) did it at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:35 PM
2

It shouldn't be anything. What about us men that they file divorce, we make more money.. but we're still paying all their expenses, and WE cant afford a lawyer. Why is it OK they can file, and now we HAVE to pay their fees while we can't even afford our own? That's bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:33 PM
5

WOW. I would love that.. but my STBXW wants to absolutely destroy me. She would rather see our house get repo'd and me no money, and owe her spousal support and try to avoid working.. so its maxed.. than just amicably part ways and walk away with a good chunk of livable money.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 07:08 PM
5

Similar.. late 50s.. 27 years.. 50/50 state. The scare for me now is alimony.. she isn't working, I make 200K. She can work.. as an RN, but is going through some recovery shit right now. Claims she wont ever go back to full time work (she worked 24 hours most of our marriage). I call bullshit.. she should have to work full time.. or rather.. as long as the judge/etc accounts for what she could make full time to adjust alimony, fine by me. My fear is having to pay her 2K+ for the rest of my life …
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 06:51 PM
6

30 years.. thats 4 beyond mine.. did you end up with life alimony or.. what pay difference between you two and how much alimony cost and how long? Guess it would depend on 50/50 state or not.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 06:46 PM
2

Yah.. this is why I am advocating my own kids never to get married. The US (and other countries that are similar in this regard) is going to see a drastic downturn in marriages and kids being born like Japan at the rate this shit is going.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 06:06 PM
5

That is such utter bullshit.. I can't believe she is awarded that much. Where do you live that she needs that much money to survive. If she can rent a 1 bedroom apartment, pay for food, etc.. why in the fuck she need more than that. So she gets to enjoy 3 years of year round vacation at your expense. It's a total fucking broken system.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 06:03 PM
16

What bugs me more than everything else is alimony. Though child support is ridiculous in some cases how much per kid.. buddy of mine who makes 8K a month is paying 3500 a month child support for 3 kids and he has them every other weekend. It's utter shit. They do NOT consume 3500 a month for 3 kids. I would LOVE to go to the /divorce or /divorce_women forums and be able to ask this.. but I'd be banned instantly for being a man. But I would love to really understand a fair perspective of both sid…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 08:39 PM
1

It's easy to respond with "just file.. pull the trigger" and I largely agree if you are unhappy. For me.. this was the same for many many years. But I unfortunately value money too much.. my biggest problem really. With young kids years ago (now they are 20+ years of age) it was crazy how much I would have paid.. 2/3 of my take home.. which would give her the ability to NOT work and live ok.. while I had not enough left over to afford rent/food/car, let alone anything else. That was utter bullsh…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:11 PM
1

Yah.. I mean.. I would assume they could find ways to dock any paycheck a person gets, etc. That is usually how IRS collects money if you dont pay.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:45 PM
1

my STBXW will demand payment 2 months in advance :D. It will likely be that bad.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 05:52 AM
3

I mean.. I'll be 1000% honest.. I think its fair for a short amount of time in some situations. If you left making all money, no house/assets, and woman has no job being stay at home.. I agree that is beyond fucked up. Suddenly she has nowhere to live (possibly), no money, etc. I mean granted many cases there are assets to split, etc. But there are plenty, especially with foreign women being married to come here, etc.. that they could literally be sleeping outside with no money, etc. So for that…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 10:30 PM
2

Oh that is interesting. This in all 50 states? So would they go as far as holding paychecks if you did get a job and didnt resume paying? Starting to give me ideas. :D. What happens if you pay a lot less for a few months.. So mind you.. 20+ years of marriage in a 50/50.. so it is possible I will owe for life. So if it were only like 10 years.. and then I didnt pay for a year so now its 11 (to make up that year missed).. that I could see.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 10:27 PM
2

Good to know. That will be me soon I hope.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 04:38 PM
2

That is such a bitch thing to do. WTF is wrong with people. I'd file a report (I think you did) and do whatever I could to see her in handcuffs at that point. You do shit like that you're basically someone that is purposely trying to hurt someone.. so hey.. if you can do that to me, I am all good seeing you suffer too. I wasn't.. but now I am. That's such a shit thing.. sorry you had to experience that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 08:49 PM
1

Nope. Wife doesnt work, lots of debt, kids in college, mortgage, costs to fix home, etc. I should say.. I "could" afford one in a couple months if I paid minimums on credit owed.. but I am trying to pay it down to avoid the interest costs.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:13 PM
2

Is it because of your age, being alone has you worried.. I too sometimes worry about as I Get older.. if shit happens, who will help me. Honestly a big reason when I get divorced I do hope to find a GF eventually.. never again getting married though. Does seem odd to be in our 50s and 60s or later with bf/gf and not married. Maybe get married in my 70s if we're a good couple. By then sex will be like once or twice a year and not nearly as big a thing as it still is for me today. Honestly sex is …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 02:25 AM
1

literally 0 money to hire.. thats the bullshit of all this. None. If I lose my job its even worse.. cause I still owe a ton. I am unclear how people go thru divorce without lawyers and cant afford them. They run $5K to $50K or more.. depending on duration and such.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 02:01 AM
1

I am curious how ageism in tech field plays in to that. I am older.. and it is MUCH harder (despite it being illegal) to get a job compared to someone in their 20s. I dont interview well.. the past 15 years of jobs have been word of mouth/connections.. so.. I've been extremely lucky. But now that the market has tanked for tech workers, and I am reading more and more not only RTO but also salaries are way lower.. I honestly don't think I'll come close to making what I have. So how does that facto…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 01:57 AM
1

So.. look.. I am all for equal rights, women paid the same, etc. Really makes sense.. if a woman is doing the same productive work as a man, they deserve the same pay. But with that in mind, then every single divorce should be about getting you back on your feet and contributing to society. I can tell you from experience, myself and watching my own kids and some other friends kids.. when you're doing nothing but sitting around.. most people feel useless, bored and I'd wager "why am I here.. ther…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 06:54 PM
0

Can I ask you.. is it partially sex.. e.g. sexual attraction (or lack there of) and thus dead bedroom (or mostly)? For me it is partly that and that every single topic is anger and fights.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:38 AM
3

Just make sure you do NOT remarry! Once is enough. Focus on you (you already have) and enjoy being single, a dad, freedom and maybe dating here and there but avoid marriage at all costs.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:37 AM
1

I mean.. I am basically willing to give up the house and her own retirement, about 300K or so my half.. and the fact that she wont need to refinance a loan (she wont get approved) for a new home (after divorce) if we sell this one. Also, she wouldn't lose half her retirement and the time/etc to deal with all that. It would benefit her greatly financially up front to agree to what I offer. I think. But she may get a litigator instead of a good lawyer who wants to try to nickel and dime me (throug…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:33 AM
1

You living the dream.. and at 51 and well off.. very nice! I wish I was in that situation already.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 06:34 PM
1

I see this sort of comment more often than not, and I question how some are so easily able to do this but most can not. My STBXW knows my income.. until this past year we shared accounts. I opened my own account and transfer half my check in there, the other half is joint account to cover mortgage, cell bill, etc. I can NOT afford to hire lawyer and move out right now. If I were to start my own phone, own everything and literally more or less look like I am leaving but still live in house (e.g. …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 06:28 PM
1

Yah.. I can assure you unless something of a miracle happens e.g. she finds a new man and falls in love (hoping that happens right away) or she somehow finally decides to move on with her life and stop trying to ruin mine.. she'll likely do everything she can to screw me over. I already offered her the house, her retirement, her car, etc.. all I want is my company stock which is worth 1/10 of what she'll get (unless by some miracle my company gets bought for big money.. but thats unlikely) and n…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:34 PM
1

We bought the house together, refi in her name due to my shit credit and she got a 2.5% rate and because I knew home is asset I wasn't worried about the loan being in her name. I make the monthly mortgage payments though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:30 PM
1

Damn.. that blows. Such bullshit laws. All the more reason marriage is such bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:26 PM
1

I can assure you.. my STBXW is absolutely 100% the kind that will check every month.. I dont know if it costs her money out of pocket.. but she will continue to do everything she can for as long as she can to fuck me over out of anger.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:25 PM
1

Were you the primary breadwinner? Curious what happened with alimony but that would probably depend on where you got divorced. I am worried somehow I am going to owe half or more of my check and my job is not secure so unsure how that whole thing will happen if I end up having to take a job making a lot less (WFH jobs are taking a big hit right now in pay and opportunity) I am worried I'll somehow get fucked and still have to pay as if I Was making more. My concern especially is if we allow that…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:24 PM
1

So what does one do to survive when you go from 220K a year to.. 0.. or maybe 20K a year or something.. how do you pay mortgage, or if in divorce you sell it, but now you got rent.. etc. If you are like most people.. divorce alone is going to eat up any savings/etc.. but also likely no money to fall back on. I don't see how this is a better way to live then losing half his take home.. which is utter bullshit.. but at least he'd have 6K or so to live on a month. Not saying its not a good way to g…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 05:03 AM
1

My biggest hangup is money. In fact my ONLY hangup at this point is money. Now that all my kids are out of school. My lawyer, and she is a good one (very good record, highly recommended for men in divorce, etc) is 7500 retainer, and will likely cost me 30K in divorce or more knowing who my wife is. I don't have anything close. So my fear is I somehow muster the money to start.. and then dont have enough when its time to pay next round.. and lose my lawyer. This is the only reason I continue to b…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 05:04 PM
2

How much you get for a typical solid gold ring.. I think we paid like $300 or something 30 years ago for it. I would hope it would sell for more now that gold is like a ton more.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 07:40 AM
1

lol.. that would be cool.. but still cant use it in the 11 states that are 2 party states. You'd have to record yourself telling her you're recording and she agrees.. I believe.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 08:59 PM
1

What state.. cause two party state supposedly it is not allowed. You cant even tell a cop who shows up cause wife called them on some made up bullshit, to save you from being arrested or kicked out. That's the bullshit I dont understand. You literally record in your own home and have proof.. but that cant be used to save your ass. It's bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 08:55 PM
2

Yah.. strange.. I saw a list that showed 13 and NY/NJ were on there. But another list is 11 and those two are not. Not sure wtf I was reading. My bad.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 08:54 PM
2

Makes no sense to me. In the case of he vs she.. why in your own home it cant be used. I would argue frankly that public video is a problem and private video should be allowed. Of course I'd also argue that if some dude had hidden cameras and posted video of someone not knowing that is a problem too. But using it in a legal case for divorce if needed.. or for cops to view to see a woman threw something at the guy and not the made up shit a woman said.. that should be legal. It's ridiculous that …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 08:53 PM
0

Florida as of recently.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 10:33 PM
1

Woa.. woa.. one sec here. So you were in Cali.. you mad 70K a year, she made .. 0? Or she was making unemployment (thus like.. what 20K or so a year if she got a full year). So you made roughly 4x what she did (if unemployment is counted for). I ask this cause I make about 200K, my STBXW could make about 180K if she worked full time, but even part time was pulling in about 80K to 100K (depending on when she was out for stress and/or medical issues). Rough calculator has me at like $2K a month or…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 11:06 PM
1

Oh man.. if you have to ask that.. you either not watching news or are a far right racists white dude. He's done a whole lot of shit wrong. Fucked up Florida badly. LOT of people leaving. Can't be gay or lgbqt or anything htere without the locals ready to literally hang you or shoot you. What a fucked up place to be around. Really can't wait for Disney to pull out.. the state will fall to shit once that happens. Can't teach any semblance of truth about black history.. only what he and his evangi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 05:42 AM
0

What now? Are you saying all men on this sub are trump cult thumpers? I am not blue or red.. I pick and choose shit using common sense and logic. Right now though, trump/desantis are complete fucking nightmares with the exception of Desantis and the change to Florida law for divorce.. he did one thing right. Doesn't reverse the massive moronic bullshit he has done and is doing. Trump.. I can't even fathom how anyone believes anything the dude says. Tons and tons of actual proof.. video.. audio..…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 11:47 PM
1

I dont know that I believe only 31% of people get married. But I would believe a lot less than 76%. Partly feminist movement, partly men becoming aware of what a shit show it can be and staying single. Partly the social media/hookup scene where you can swipe right and get laid for little to no money and avoid marriage. Probably other factors. But I am curious how much religion plays into it. Marriage for a long time (and in my case too for my STBXW) was religious.. gotta marry in church, in fron…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 06:45 PM
0

I mean.. cnn has nothing to do with it. I've read this from various sources the past many months now. They are just another news outlet covering a story that others have. At least it's not a FOX story.. talk about a never ending line of bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 01:11 AM
1

Wait.. sign a post-nup.. not sure I follow? You're saying its easy to get wive's in a separation or divorce to sign stuff?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 01:10 AM
2

Date.. sure.. entertain marriage.. nope. You're dating.. if shit doesnt work.. life goes on. Just dont get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 04:36 PM
1

But my understanding is she can ask for validation every month if she wants.. and if she makes less.. she can even get me to have to pay her legal fees every time she does this shit. Which if that is true is another example of how broken the system is. If she wants to do that.. she should pay her fees, not me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 07:10 PM
1

I dont think that would work in divorce though would it? Taking sabbatical.. means you take some unpaid leave (if your company approves it) and you eventually return right? My company wont approve paid leave.. so only way if they would at all is unpaid leave to deal with say.. depression or other issue. But how would that work in divorce.. you have 0 income.. and she has 0 income too.. but as soon as I go back to work.. she'll go back to court and I'll owe again. Apparently in California, 20+ ye…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:54 PM
1

Question for you Op.. you in a 50/50 state.. and she made similar salary to you.. is that right? I ask because technically my STBXW could make pretty close to me full time. She has chosen to remain part time (we agreed early on when the kids were young, but the 3 of them are 20+ years now). She passed up an opportunity to work full time (with benefits, pension, etc) due to a potential but not for sure medical procedure she is waiting on (covered via insurance.. so not worried about the cost addi…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:52 AM
1

Me too dammit.. who wants some dang gantt chart! gees.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 12:47 AM
1

Is Custody the primary issue after a divorce that draws parties back and wastes money? My kids are 18+ so alimony would be the only thing that I know of that might draw us back.. and that would I assume be if we don't have a locked agreement (e.g. I think in a 50/50 state there is such a thing?). What scares me about a locked thing is I make decent money now, but am in an industry where ageism is a real issue and will likely see a lot less money down the road.. so I'd be afraid to be stuck in so…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 12:40 AM
2

I am going to tell you right now.. if you have the financial means to afford divorce and the costs (alimony, child support, etc).. it will 100000% be better for your kid. My 4 kids are fucked up in so many ways because I stayed out of fear of how much money I would have to pay for alimony and child support.. and my concern of having a job (always in flux in tech field) and the nightmare to try to work around all that shit.. so my kids grew up seeing mom and dad fight all the time.. verbally yell…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 08:35 PM
2

Ideally so young in marriage you want to try to work it out. But if it went this far south this fast.. honestly after everything I've read from other posts as well, I would get out while you can. No kids.. good for you. Annulment with only a year. If it's this bad already, and you don't give in to her every whim.. its just going to get worse. Even if you do.. is she travelling and having fun while you're home working? Sorry.. that is an absolute guarantee she will cheat. No husband around, far a…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 05:30 PM
2

Story's like this make me feel soo much better.. and I don't mean any disrespect. I can't imagine at 24.. having married a woman at 19 (when you were 22) who already married/divorced with kid previously. Most women at that age are so immature (guys too to be fair). I've heard of only a couple of marriages lasting more than 5 to 10 years that got married at that age. Worse.. today.. 2023.. with social media, easy ways to cheat/hide it, etc.. it is SO much worse today. I literally don't understand…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 07:31 PM
1

Sarcasm.. or are you really thinking you want to be married again in a system that is severely broken.. it's a business for lawyers and judges.. they see no reason to change things cause that puts 1000s of them high paid workers out of work. I have to believe sarcasm and you for the /s I would argue 95% of the men posting in here will never marry again or if they do.. it will be when they are very old and don't give a shit no more. Hopefully to someone a lot younger who can take care of them til…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 05:10 PM
1

USA, west coast.. most of the places are $200 (super crap area, motel 6) to $1000+ a night depending on where you are staying. Long time ago Vegas used to be cheap. Now, its like $300+ and well over $600 for a decent room on the strip. LA, anywhere near Disney is $500+ a night.. a bit further out still $250+ a night. San Fran/silicon valley.. 500+ most places. Flew in to San Fran for business once, it was 750 a night.. thankfully company paid it. Room was not bad.. but not luxury either. Where d…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 04:54 PM
3

Damn.. hotels are $350 a night.. I can't even afford that shit.. CC is already maxed out.. trying to pay that shit off. I'd have to live in my minivan or something.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 07:16 AM
2

I mean.. a couple pieces of furniture.. my tools/computers.. most expensive things are a couple grand tops.. but I'd be leaving WAY more for her to keep/sell/throw away.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 07:15 AM
3

So.. my kids are 18+, the house is in her name (we refied a few years ago for lower interest.. her credit was better than mine.. since it's a marriage asset I wasn't worried about it being in her name on the loan, I am still on the title even though in 50/50 state that doesn't matter anyway since we bought the home married and I can prove I paid most of the mortgage payments from my paychecks).
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 07:14 AM
1

Thank you for your service. Was being an ass.. my apologies. Best to you and for you and your kid to be together.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 01:11 AM
1

Man.. you are much stronger than me. If she was kinda hot, and sex was good, I'd have a hard time not wanting to keep that going. I am wondering how you avoid any feelings.. is the sex typically no kissing, no foreplay, just basic pretty quick.. e.g. little bit of feeling to get her wet, you hard, and insertion.. that's it. Like more stuff would seem pretty intimate to me and hard to not develop a stronger bond.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 11:48 PM
1

I am curious about this. I put 1/2 my check in our joint account where I pay most bills from. The other half I mostly use to pay down my CCs that I've maxed out.. which in divorce is 50/50 debt, so I am basically paying the other 1/2 towards her and my debt. That wont' look bad will it? I am literaally unable to save any money cause our CC got a bit high and I got a long ways to go to pay it down.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 11:44 PM
2

Punctuation when posting is very helpful to help us readers formulate what you are trying to say. If you think it is salvageable.. seek therapy. You guys are crazy young.. 20 and a kid.. I can't even fathom what that is like with the world it is today. Hopefully you both are still in college and/or building a career of some sort. But at this age.. it is WAY WAY too easy to just walk away. If you only been married not even a year, get an annulment. At least alimony wont be very long.. but child s…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 11:33 PM
0

Read some of the responses. I have literally been waiting about 8 to 10 years (I know..stupid and crazy) due to money, etc. I spend too much on my hobbies.. and my youngest just graduated HS and she'll turn 18 in 8 months. I have a crap load of debt which I know gets split in half.. but I also live in Southern Cali.. though I guess it doesnt matter too much where within the state you live. I learned that Cali is mostly pretty fair in divorce, but everything comes down to the judge. If you get a …
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 03:25 AM
2

So your son hates you too? I dont get it.. why? Wife turned him against you? If that is the case.. you have to repair that later on.. when he's a bit older and can understand how shit his mother was. But I have read/found that most kids dont get past that for years or longer.. me personally.. love my kids.. but I can't do that shit no more. I can't let that sort of anger around lies fester and ruin my life. You'd be best to try every now and again perhaps, but assume you can fix it once he's a b…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 09:06 PM
5

Uh.. what? Been lurking here for years.. and uh.. I've only read a handful of these types of posts.. where 99% are the opposite. I don't think it's normal at all for most people going through divorce. Also.. as my lawyer told me.. at least in a 50/50 state.. it can be used against you.. e.g. you slept with her so it is harder to argue the divorce.. e.g. there is still love (even if its not).
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 04:54 AM
1

So.. as a late 50s.. I would say that day to day.. I fucking hate her.. we fight all the damn time and money is the only reason I am stuck here. That said.. I dont hate her in general.. and like you, I wish her all the best. I suspect however she'll do everything she can to fuck me over badly somehow.. instead of just accept that I no longer am in love or see us together in the future (nearer hopefully). She continues with the beratement of I need help, its all my fault, etc. Every SINGLE talk..…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:54 PM
1

She made like 45K last year, 80K year before and 102K year before that. The reason is she has been out on disability "stress" etc.. however she just landed a job full time.. but had to turn it down because of some surgeries coming up the next few months that she had waited a year+ to get.. and needs them (to be fair.. without them it is life threatening and I am not having that on my conscience). So I have no clue if she'll get another opportunity like that. Point is, the job would pay about 150…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:02 AM
1

So she is out of work right now.. my lawyer had told me #1 is to get her working cause how much I would pay in alimony is a lot more because she is not working. So how in the hell is it OK for her not to be working and I owe more because of it, but if I were living on funds and not working.. and thus lived on about 80K a year.. the reverse is not applied? That is one of the ways divorce is severely fucked up.. unless I am missing something. Likewise, she has the potential full time if she found …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 08:24 PM
12

I fully expect my STBXW to do exactly this when I file.. which is why contrary to most people here and family/friends too.. telling me to just file already.. I am dealing with this shit life and trying to pay off debt and save money so I can move out, afford lawyer, and file all at the same time to avoid any of that shit. Well most of it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:56 AM
2

I envy you. When I finally file.. it will be a nightmare I have no doubt. Only hope is that they will impute her ability to work full time and her pay is on par with mine so I shouldn't owe any alimony.. but that's a big question mark. She will absolutely go after everything..
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:44 AM
2

I thought you NEVER buy things like that till divorce is final? Can't she claim 1/2 of that now?
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:06 AM
0

I am in similar situation. My STBXW went through cancer and was part time worker (medical field).. made good money part time, but has had issues on and off again that has taken her out of work again. So now I am stuck trying to hope she goes back to work at least part time so that my alimony isnt 4K a month (I make about 10K a month right now assuming I dont lose my job). Technically full time she could make as much as me.. so I will impute her income/job potential, but not sure where that will …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 05:39 PM
2

Spot on brother. Would do EXACTLY the same thing in your shoes. No woman is worth your self dignity, worth, and happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 05:37 PM
1

Suicide is never the answer brother. All of us responding here are just redditors, but most of us if not all have suffered or are suffering in one way or another like you have. Before you decide to go through with the attempt, please seek help. At least talk to a suicide hot line or something, try to understand you are important to lots of people even if you don't think so. Talking is the key.. being able to have someone to talk to and possibly if needed get some meds to help you through this. I…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 05:32 PM
1

Hahah. OK.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 02:04 AM
1

Person is a woman or troll.. should be banned.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:26 PM
1

LOL.. solid woman here.. absolutely a woman. Entitled too. Hopefully you got burned hard and are just angry with the world because you have to be a massive bitch to say the things you are, or you're purely trolling just to fuck with other men. Either way, moderator should ban you from this forum.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:25 PM
2

Every one of your responses.. is putting all the blame on the man. Either you're a woman, or you're clearly brainwashed to think they are godesses and we owe them everything all the time and its up to us 100% to make it success and they don't need to do anything. You need to either wake up, or put on a strap on and lower your voice to at least pretend you're a man. Holy shit.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:24 PM
4

Your original post wasn't bad.. fits more the /divorce and /divorce_woman more than here.. but it has some truth to it. But this response.. clearly makes you sound like a woman pretending to be a man in here.. Really? WTF.. she got equal rights, equal pay, all that bullshit.. and still I have to make gobs more money for her? WTF is wrong with you? How about she get off her ass and work and make the same money as me.. and for a few years.. she can make more while I enjoy some time off too, right?…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:21 PM
1

I can live with losing all that as long as I don't owe much if any alimony (right now she doesnt work but had a 24 hour job making 100K a year.. where as I make about 180K a year). She has some medical issues.. but I don't believe they should prevent her from working full time.. she claims it does and she could potentially be medically disabled. We'll see.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:03 AM
3

You had to pay her lawyer fees too? I keep reading that the person making more money will likely be told to pay lesser pay lawyer fees. I don't see why/how that is fair if everything else is 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 07:41 PM
2

You should.. I mean your friend should get a lawyer immediately..
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 07:38 AM
1

Sorry for all that.. and it really does scare me how easy any of us can be in that. Truth be told.. I am literally NOT filing due to owing about 60K in debt right now and not able to afford move out costs and lawyer costs. So.. until I can do that.. I am stuck. Worried about my job too. Question.. how much is your unemployment? I assume you were in the 100K+ salary range, so you should get maximum benefits? I thought I read that 600 a week (before taxes) is the max payout regardless if you make …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 08:59 PM
4

Where you locateD? Trying to figure out based on what I make, what she CAN make (she is not working right now.. recovering from operation and only works part time contract.. but thinking imputing work/salary should take into account that she should work full time and what she could make), how much alimony I would owe. Based on her full time hourly rate she would make almost as much as me.. so there should almost be no alimony technically.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:18 AM
1

I've said the words the past 10 years.. asked her a few times.. but the cost + having big debt + kids + not nearly enough money scared me out every time. I am still trying to pay down 30K in debt so I can maybe afford to finally move out without having an additional 1500 a month in CC bills for next 2 or so years. It so fucking expensive to live too.. 2500 a month for a tiny place.. food/car/etc.. I am looking at least 4500 a month without any debt added in.. let alone whatever lawyer costs will…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:10 AM
2

This is what I always wonder when I see these 20K, 50K or more. It seems ridiculous. If our kids are 18+.. there should be no child support. In California its 50/50 in just about everything. I guess the grunt of the "papework" will be showing the past what.. 18 months, 6 months.. not sure of expenses we spent money on.. so she can point out how we're in debt because of me.. partially true to be fair.. and why I would absolutely negotiate to pay my own debt. I know.. goes against just about every…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:27 PM
1

Man.. I am so sorry to hear this. Read some of the other responses. I'd say at this stage.. do whatever you can to set up a trust, and if you can.. get a friend or family in to record video of you saying things you might like to say at different parts of their lives, and leave it in trust of someone who can share that with them after you are gone. That to me is the thing I think about.. given technology today.. if I were going to die and had the chance.. I'd want to record some video of me for m…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 03:19 AM
1

OMG.. if you don't have kids.. GTFO now.. pray she's not pregnant yet.. and file bro. You are beyond fucking lucky to not have kids. That will save you 100s of 1000s in the long run, if not more.. not to mention the unfathomable misery of trying to raise kids with an ex... thank your lucky stars you dont have kids and get out now. You don't deserve that I don't care how good she may be in bed.. plenty of better options (though I'd recommend never getting married again.. at least not while divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 02:56 AM
1

Fuck.. literally sounds like how my wife will be when we start this process. She literally has no care in the world for money. Or rather.. she does.. but to screw me over despite 20+ years of almost daily arguing/fighting, many blown out screaming matches with windows open, and our kids are all fucked up because of it.. by far the most stubborn person I know. But.. honestly at this point.. think I'd rather lose that and be done with her than live this any longer. The shit of it all is.. we can a…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 02:52 AM
1

Kids are 18+.. but some still living at home.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 02:50 AM
1

Wow.. that was damn fast. Must be much better.. or is it worse.. than California which is a 50/50 state.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 11:01 PM
1

100K.. what in the.. so you guys make 1mil+ a year? How can it be 100K.. in my case total assets might not even be 500K after everything is sold/etc.. I Can't imagine the cost eating up 20% or more of that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 11:01 PM
1

What's that mean exactly.. you don't have to pay any alimony, nothing, until October at least.. so basically you can live "free" for a few months.. until you have to come back in October to figure next steps?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 11:00 PM
5

So.. as a guy not in love with STBXW but don't hate her.. and ultimately really do want her to have a good life, find the right guy (def not me).. I have a hard time with this cause I Tend to think being alone is going to be great. For the most part. However.. I do try to imagine what happens if I find a woman, fall in love.. NEVER get married again.. but then one day she up and rips our otherwise good relationship off like glue + tape waxing (bandaid seems to be too easy an analogy cause they o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 06:19 PM
2

I couldn't agree more. The problem is the judges/divorce business doesn't agree. Or.. mostly dont. They somehow feel that even though we're going through more equal rights, equal pay, gender, etc than ever, in this one case, women should be able to continue to not have to work or be impowered and sit home and enjoy life on 1/3 to 1/2 of the man's take home pay.. on top of child support.. while man has to figure out how to live on 1/4 to 1/5 take home pay after paying out alimony/child support. I…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 06:09 PM
1

I do.. the whole point of "ill give her this and that and that" is purely in hopes it looks good on you in the court of law/judge and they realize you are trying to be a civilized good person looking out for the other rather than an greedy asshole looking to throw her to the curb and dont care. I been trying to pay down debt, so that when I finally file, not only is our debt that we split WAY less so she cant say "he spent 30K and got us in debt.. " (as I dont ever like to put my burden/spending…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 09:57 PM
1

Basically, as /u/syphon229 said.. spending life/time/etc with someone you love is great. But having a government dictate that you owe so much, must do these things, if you miss/etc you're in big trouble.. is utter crap. There is NO guarantee your marriage will last. Uh oh.. blasphemy.. you're NOT supposed to EVER think/feel that way. You're supposed to assume you're love transcends any possible problem ahead.. otherwise with negativity why even bother.. you're doomed from the start right? Fact i…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 04:32 PM
1

This is spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 04:19 PM
1

What in the.. I hate to sound like an ass.. but why in the fork have you not changed locks, and put up some cameras too. Put up a couple outside.. front porch, over drive way. You can get cheap ones ($100 or less) on Amazon that work with alexa, etc.. or go the Ubiquiti route.. much nicer managed setup but need to be a bit more technical. If you do do cameras.. just make sure they are wired.. not battery. Those suck. Also.. avoid wifi.. those suck too. But yah.. change the locks man. It's your h…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 04:01 AM
3

When you're younger.. often the idea of marriage means you getting laid every day, someone to wake up to, share life with, etc. As you get older, usually make a bit more money, refine your lifestyle, and so on.. you typically dont need the marriage as much as companionship, hence some go with GFs for decades, some dont even move in (though most do with in a year or so.. to cut costs). I will say most people here seem to say they will never remarry and many wont even try dating. Me personally.. w…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 03:15 AM
3

Everybody is different bro. Some are ready to date sooner than others. If you're lonely/bored, but not depressed from divorce.. then maybe dating is OK for you. Some men take a lot longer to get over the loss of the wife/family/etc. Some can bounce back and be ready to dip in to the dating pool right away. In the meantime.. maybe try some new hobbies? I got so many damn hobbies I wont be bored once I am finally able to leave. One thing I have been doing while I stupidly stuck it out until the ki…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:31 PM
2

Man.. I feel this sort of. Not that I don't want to.. as my kids are older (18+ now).. but due to years and years (decades) of fighting.. and mom brain washing them into everything is dad's fault and dad doesn't want to, etc.. despite being active at all their sports (we did a lot of travel sports for the boys), theater, music, etc.. going out of my way to purchase shit I shouldn't have to try to one up their end product (e.g. projects, sports games, etc).. and granted I realize "buying" their l…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 08:13 PM
1

So given ALL the replies.. can't you just go kick her door in and take your shit back.. knowing the court wont do anything as well? I mean.. wait for her to not be home.. but just claim your shit showed up one day.. not clue how.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:18 PM
2

So.. I am not sure if I am a typical dude ready for divorce or not. I like my wife generally.. we are able to live day to day for the most part.. but we argue over literally everything.. money, kids, how to clean, what to do about house, cars, etc. To name just a few small topics. We have been fighting on and off almost every day for 20+ years. CRAZY! I know. I am one of those fools that did NOT want my kids to grow up without dad or deal with alimony + child support for 18 years. Seeing how fuc…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 08:11 PM
1

How could they prove it though? She can say "we had sex last week" and then the guy can say "no we didnt why are you lying". How would they prove it?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 07:08 AM
2

So strange.. in Cali.. I read its horrible to get divorced there.. yet.. it seems more fair to me. 50/50 of everything.. alimony and child support is calculated based on pay differences. Because there is so much divorce here, it seems most of the time it is not too difficult, and they even allow alimony to be paid in bulk at a reduced price if you can afford it. In my case, we have about 300K in home (after paying loan), 300K in retirement plan, and my alimony would be about 2K a month for 13 ye…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 12:24 AM
6

In California, once child is 18..or up to 19 if still in HS.. child support ends. Not through college. Some states may demand through college and/or up to age 25 (if still in college), but many dont. 90% of divorce initiated by women is incorrect, its about 70%. Oddly.. almost 50% of women do not want to remarry, while only 30% of men don't want to. Now.. in this forum I'd argue its like 90% of men dont ever want to remarry. But most of my fellow friends who got divorced and started dating again…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:08 PM
1

I'll be honest.. the one.. and perhaps primary reason.. for me.. is sex. Not JUST sex..but having sex with what I consider a hot woman. It's a weak WEAK excuse.. I know. Plenty of guys would say "you can be single and still use apps like tinder, etc to have sex with hot women". Yes.. and no. Some of us guys are not good looking, or confident, or have the money, or the know how to communicate with, and so on.. so when a guy lands a woman (or another guy.. whatever your fancy) that is relatively a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 08:46 PM
1

Ima say this as nicely as I can.. you can't control what she does.. but you CAN control what you do.. and your happiness. If you had a mild heart attack.. especially related to this.. you can and should get divorced.. after already seeing it through multiple times now. She is a danger to herself and your kid. She should be comitted and under watch and get a long treatment. You and your kid should be out of that situation, especially for your kid but for you as well. If you are overweight.. I'd s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 03:31 AM
1

Sell the house. Why buy it out?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:39 PM
1

Uhm.. read the OPs post/comments.. and you'll see he's not being racists as much as trying to tell the OP he's a dumbass for the post/responses he's giving. I dont find anything he said racists. I think he's trying to make OP feel like the dumbass he is by purposely saying something like that. It's all in the way you read/understand it. Perhaps I am wrong and you are right.. but that isn't how I read what he said in response to dumbass OP post/responses.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:37 PM
1

ROFL.. as a dude looking to get out of a marriage.. I am far from feminist.. and while I support women's right to their body (fuck Trump and all those POS far right nut jobs forcing their religious beliefs on all of us).. and equal pay (get rid of gender, race, etc on job forms).. I am NOT a feminist by any means. I still feel pride in "protecting" my woman and family (or.. well.. used to.. now that I want out).. and feeling manly in that regard. I also prefer to be the provider.. But you come a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:35 PM
1

Not disagreeing.. every nationality has beautiful men and women. I am not picky.. color/religion/etc dont matter to me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:33 PM
2

Shit.. I didnt even think of this. I use ChatGPT for various things.. and did read it actually passed the bar tests.. so that makes insane sense. Assuming you can figure out the right prompts to ask it. I'd be interested in any prompt advice you have as well. I have preipo stocks, ira, house, no kids (last one is done with HS in two weeks and 18 soon after). But the lawyer costs and move out costs are killing me.. I haven't filed yet cause I am trying to save up a few months of living runway + l…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:50 AM
2

Oh damn.. and truth be told.. the majority of the men are followers.. no brain cells of their own.. cowards. Most of their women are beautiful and the rest of the world knows the reason they cover them up and control them the way they do is because there are way WAY more women that are 100x smarter than their top men.. it's why their country is so ass backwards and 100 years behind the rest of the world. Their only choice is to treat women like shit, make sure they don't rise up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:07 AM
0

ROFL.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:05 AM
1

Why? He's not wrong.. clearly OP is bragging over made up lies.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:05 AM
1

Haha.. for sure!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:04 AM
0

You are clearly a middle east dude that likes women to be covered uneducated and sub servant.. ass backwards way of life.. but you be you bruh however pathetic that may be.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:03 AM
3

I bet most women unless they have new love.. gain weight, and look older.. where as most men do the opposite in divorce.. single and older means you usually (not always) have a bit more money (obviously depending on divorce outcome).. and can afford to spend a little on working out or equipment, hobbies, etc.. so tend to look happier, healthier, etc. That's at least my take away from most of the posts here and from several friends that have divorced the past few years. Also how I would be.. work…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 08:29 PM
1

Seriously. money only.. I just do not have enough. My job may be gone soon.. and I cant move out and sing a year lease.. at 2500 a month rent (not incl the 1000+ for food/electricity/etc).. and pay my debt (30k + right now) and afford lawyers.. without a job.. and given how long it takes for a home to sell right now.. and then my half put in the bank.. I'd have to ask the new place I rent if they are OK with me not paying rent for 6 months.. but then back pay them.. fuck that.. and it would neve…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 06:13 PM
2

I saw that and was like.. WTF.. his new 25 year old must be smoking hot.. he cant be the head of Amazon and be stupid enough to marry an older.. OH SHIT.. is he marrying a man woman.. that chick is fugly. Fake everything.. and 50+.. why on earth would he marry a fugly older woman.. with the money he has.. I just dont get it. Stay single.. and pay for that companionship with the 100billion+ he has. Its nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 06:07 PM
12

THIS is exactly how it should be. If you do go this way.. if its even possible without just being a couple.. then you lose out on some tax benefits, etc.. but I would 100000% do this over actual marriage certificate/license, legal, etc. Fork that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 07:59 AM
1

Yup. Same as debt.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 06:12 PM
2

I am going to let you in on a little secret. EVERY kid under 30.. or "adult" is more or less on the spectrum based on today's criteria for what that means. I am in a similar boat with a 21 year old who for 9 months has been trying to get a job.. local jobs.. stores, delivery, food, whatever.. says he cant get anything. Meanwhile two friends of his returned from college and got jobs. Like WTF? I am, however fearful (and this is my "pussy" side kicking in) that my kid if I kicked him out.. with no…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 05:41 AM
1

I had this very argument with my STBXW.. about our dead bedroom. Basically.. the few times we've had any sex the past 2 to 3 years.. it's mostly been her giving in to my needing a release.. not because she wanted to. And yes.. I am not ashamed to admit that.. a vagina feels a lot better than my hand and some pornhub.. even if the women on pornhub are way hotter. She argues that there has to be a connection, everything has to be good.. etc.. to have sex (or make love). I say.. if a hot woman show…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 10:07 PM
1

I am yet again.. WHY this is allowed. She can just up and leave.. and you get fucked in the process.. this is the kind of shit why marriage is so not worth it.. and makes no sense. She left her job.. because she knew you would owe a LOT more money. The first thing I'd do.. is see if you can take some time off.. a few months.. without pay. Sabbatical. After all.. divorce is insanely stressful. Why should she be the only one. Let all the bills fault.. sell the house.. split that in half.. and then…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 06:30 AM
1

What if you dont have marital accounts..
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 06:26 AM
1

true.. but MUCH MUCH harder to find in your 50s.. by then women want someone to live rest of life with.. so as they get old.. they aren't alone. Not all of course.. but most. Same with guys.. though usually a bit older. At least from my experience.. it gets kind of hard to do things alone/yourself if you have ailments, disabilities, etc. And don't have the medical/money to be taken care of. Not that an old frail lady is going to be much more help.. but at least the combined effort might make it …
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 04:51 AM
1

How in the HELL did all this happen in 4 days? Like.. she moved her mom in AFTER you were married.. 4 days ago. Then.. after a blow out.. presumably in one day.. you talked to your mom and got HER to move in.. the next day.. or two days later? When that happened.. SHE then lost her shit.. packed up and left.. and you somehow ALSO bought a home in 4 days.. that she wants you to sell? AND she hired a lawyer already too? Like holy shit.. all in 4 days? Really having a hard time believing any of thi…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:45 PM
1

BOOM! Fantastic comment. Haha.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:41 PM
1

But.. I need sex man. It's what I been missing forever! Just dont want to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:23 PM
1

Yah.. this is what I dont get.. how in the hell can 1 person.. just because they are a judge.. get to decide the fate of one or the other. How do they deem a certain amount is fair for the other person. This shit should be 100% calculated every time. Period. It's money.. its numbers. no reason a person should get to decide based on a very tiny amount of context in to their lives.. that one person deserves more..or less. 50/50.. that's fair. Down the middle. 1 year max alimony IF the person is ou…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:23 PM
1

Yah.. that's why its done. I think the ONLY way you see these cases go to trial and unhired person wins.. is if they get some inside proof.. like know somebody that heard/saw email, or something else. There are a few of say.. very obese people.. or white person applying to asian restaurant.. and then finding out other asians were hired.. (which is fucking stupid to me.. that an asian restaurant MUST hire other nationalities to be "equal".. fuck that.. I want authentic.. not some person who got h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:17 PM
2

Nope. Been looking to get out for years now.. but.. well.. it was "convenient" to just deal with shit while working, having kids in school, etc. Now that they are all pretty much done/gone.. and nothing has gotten better.. not our relationship, dead bedroom for years.. and so on.. it's just not worth whatever time we have left.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:54 AM
1

that's against the law in the USofA. If a larger employer that employes 10s of 1000s.. were to get caught in any way doing that.. big law suit.. not worth the costs for them to risk it. Not saying it doesnt happen.. just saying its against the law and a hefty hit if they get caught.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:53 AM
1

Unfortunately..she loco. She fights for hours at a time.. wont leave me alone. If I do anything like try to push her out the door and lock it.. first.. she would likely draw up charges and in my state.. verbal yelling is considered abuse. Pushing/etc.. definitely.. enough to land me in jail.. no thank you. If she doesn't do that.. she starts banging/kicking door, etc. Even during wfh hours.. if we get in to some argument.. its on.. doesnt matter that I need to work. Only option for me is to move…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:52 AM
-1

Adopt. Or.. have your brother or best friend put a seed in her.. and you raise the kid. :D.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:49 AM
1

Build yourself a gym at home.. not worth it going TO the gym.. the cost is WAY more to build one though.. but you get to pick and choose over months and months as you build it out.. what you want.. no wait, no fuss.. no drive.. etc.. just hit the gym anytime you need. Also.. grab a 3d printer.. learn some Fusion 360 design.. do some stuff there. Another.. CNC.. grab one of those and start doing some wood working.. again with some design.. and CNC cutting.. milling.. could be fun. Car wash/detail…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:38 AM
1

My lawyer told me lifetime (even in Cali) is rare.. there has to be a lot of shit.. e.g. she CANT work.. for various reasons, she DIDNt work at all before (SAHM), etc. That's not the case with my wife. While she has medical issues (cancer that she is past.. ).. she CAN work and she has put her last 25+ years in to nursing.. a job that happens to be very in demand right now too. I find it hard to believe in our situation, that she'll get life alimony. I am going out of my way to pay down debt, I'…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:15 PM
2

Damn.. you know your women hookups. So.. do all these women shave everything.. or are any natural looking.. bush, real tits, etc? I am not a fan of the pre-pub look of a woman.. so if I were ever going to do this.. I'd definitely want to know where to find a woman that looks like she has gone through puberty and has the natural look. Can you ask for that.. or basically you're stuck with whatever they got?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:11 PM
1

I was curious how this works out. I am in California. Our house if we sold it.. after paying off loan would give us about 300K. Been together 25 years. So either its a 12.5 year alimony or for life.. not sure which. She was a nurse.. made 100K+ working part time. Though she had medical issues that have made it harder for her to do some of the nursing roles.. she can still do many of the jobs. Because I make 200K a year and she was making about 115K (at her best a couple years back).. I would hav…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:25 AM
8

I am rather blown away by all the women who want equal rights, equal pay, equal respect.. EXCEPT in divorce.. there they want everything for them and have no problem with the man being treated very unequal. What bugs me the most if is ONE party tries to be civil, and the other doesn't give a damn and purposely does everything they can to screw the nice side over. It's a shame that a judge can't see this happen.. and then punish the shit side for purposely trying to ruin the good side.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:04 AM
2

Not at all.. I am just another human like any other.. with thoughts and feelings different than others. If you feel living for another 20, 30+ years of suffering, no love, no sex.. because she went thru cancer and is disfigured and now you're stuck not having any enjoyment.. no big deal.. so be it. You're entitled. I've been with her for over a decade since cancer.. I didn't just leave her right after. Things did NOT improve in any way for us. Sex was but one of many things.. so.. I am NOT the a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 09:30 AM
1

So this sort of happened to me. STBXW showed some love.. but it was ALL About the kids once they came along. Love the kids.. but I needed some love too.. so I pulled away.. got tired of all the "i need help.. you dont do anything" while I worked all day she worked part time.. I worked startup culture.. so my days were 60 to 80 or more hours a week.. trying to get that big pay off.. never happened.. but that is what I went after.. and she originally was supportive.. but years of it.. and her most…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:58 PM
3

While I agree.. there are a LOT of women who are deeply in love AND love sex.. I do have a few friends 20 years on that get laid almost daily still.. so it DOES happen. But far and few between.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:55 PM
3

Shit.. honestly.. I am NOT a "lets make love for hours" kind of guy. I am very easy.. though most women would say I am a pig for saying this.. but I am satisficed with minimal foreplay and a quickie. I DO want to get her off too.. I discovered way too late that the best position (at least for me and STBXW) is spoon/doggy.. e.g. I am fingering her to orgasm.. then because I dont last long.. as she starts to orgasm I go in.. and we both experience it together. Amazing. Sadly.. it was WAY too late …
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:54 PM
9

My wife doesnt even make money. So I am tripled fucked (not sexually unfortunately). I pay for everything.. no sex.. constantly fighting/disagreements.. not attracted.. at least yours brings i money.. so alimony/etc wont be bad if at all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:50 PM
6

I'll do you one better.. what if it's mostly dead (e.g. once every few months.. ONLY when everything is perfect.. you spent time, showed her love all week, did all the chores, etc).. and you're not very much attracted to her any more. In my case.. and somehow I always end up being called an asshole for this.. my wife went through cancer.. lost her breast, lost her sex drive (early menopause), etc.. so she has no boobs, doesn't get wet (sorry for being graphic or TMI), has no desire to have sex..…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:49 PM
12

I hope not. But man.. we read/hear about this crap all the time. It's sick. Hopefully this isn't the case.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:05 AM
1

OK
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:04 AM
39

teen daughters most likely.. as awful as that sounds. Hopefully not though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 10:57 PM
2

Unfortunately it is a REALLY bad time to try to buy someone out of a house.. due to interest rates it's going to cost a lot more per month to refi. That is one benefit I think I have with my STBXW.. the house is in her name.. its a martial asset in my 50/50 state.. so she still has to buy me out.. but she wont need to refi.. and when we refied with her name (due to her credit being better) it was at a 2.3% interest rate.. so though the monthly is still high given the value of the loan.. its affo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 10:55 PM
0

First.. more developed than US? Right.. second.. even if they were.. it's mostly from stealing US tech and then putting child labor to work to duplicate it. Third.. why would anyone want to live under a dictatorship govt? Any govt that is anything close to china, russia and NK.. is awful to live under. So many repressions.. little to no freedoms, can be shot/killed on the spot for just about anything by police/govt.. no thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 10:54 PM
2

If you're in a 50/50 state.. the cheating wont matter. They don't care. The only way it would come in to play from what I've read and was told by my own lawyers is if you had kids.. and there were potential situations that could affect the kids.. e.g. you were dating a meth head and when you have your time with kids they could get hurt. That could result in full custody for ex.. but that is difficult to prove as well. Some say "stop cheating". Thing is.. if she finds out.. is she going to go ful…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 06:15 PM
0

Right.. so now she can take > 50%? Come on.. not even close. Even if the prenup is not "strong" no way she can take > 1/2.. but doubt she'll get anything close.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 07:04 PM
1

When she told the judge you were suicidal.. and you said "Sir..that's a lie.. I was never suicidal.. she has no proof of that either.. she is lying to you.. in your court..". He said "Fuck you.. I believe her.. you're fucked"?? I don't get it. How does this sort of back and forth NEVER seem to allow the man (or rather.. the "other" person) to counter a lie? I am baffled how she made up a lie.. and you were not allowed to talk or counter it? That seems beyond wrong in any court in the country.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 05:30 PM
1

He has a prenup.. and they both filed for 50/50 custody. So.. doubt she'll take him for much.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 05:08 PM
1

When she goes away for a week or two at a time.. I dont miss her.. I enjoy the silence and peace.. no arguing.. do whatever I want without some sort of bullshit disagreement or fight. Same with my kids.. they largely are happy she is gone for some time cause I am chill and not blowing up over a sock on the floor or dishes not done on time. I dont want a slop house or what not either.. but I dont lose my shit, ground them for a week, etc just cause of some basic shit like that. I dont hate her.. …
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:50 AM
1

Or.. like.. if you're capable of working.. you get a job anyway.. regardless of who files. I am all for equal rights.. equal pay.. etc.. I support women for this.. how about divorce laws catch up with the rest of the shit going on. They want all these rights.. they should have the same equal everything in divorce too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:41 AM
1

I wont be moving on to a next spouse. Maybe.. a next GF.. but never getting married again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 09:33 PM
1

How much did it cost.. and why the costs? Did she nickel/dime everything? I am in a 50/50 state.. that is my concern.. she makes 1/3 what I do.. 20+ year marriage.. worried about how much alimony.. kids are all 18+ so no child support. She has medical issues.. claims she will get disability retirement.. no clue what that means if she can.. and how much she makes.. but does that mean if she makes 1/3 less than she used to.. that I get fucked even more.. due to something out of my control (her hea…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 03:29 AM
4

I would ONLY be looking to find hookups.. and they better be OK with my small dick and blow in 10 seconds.. and that they look like women not prepubescent girls. If that exists.. I'm there. Otherwise.. fork that.. ima enjoy singlehood. In my late 50s.. but man cave.. big ass home theater setup, garage full of gym/tools.. wank it whenever I want.. go do whatever I want whenever. Not looking to be tied down or having to answer to someone
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 03:26 AM
16

ROFL.. I did not see that ending coming. But great answer!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 05:11 AM
1

Did you legally separate.. and have a date.. or just moved out and told each other "we're separated"? Not sure if NY is like CA (50/50 or not)..but my lawyer told me to file for D.. but don't hand it to her until months later.. that way I have an affirmative date. The only problem is.. it's public record.. and in my case she is most definitely looking things up.. so I didn't want to do that until we are out of debt and I can afford attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:53 AM
3

For a < 1 year marriage.. fortune in attorneys? Why? How much is a fortune? I am hoping to pay 15K or less..hopefully.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:40 AM
2

Without even reading any of your post.. no kids.. 4 years.. GIVE IT TO HER! Never get married again.. its a travesty and bad financial business for men. Marriage today is NOT what it was back in the biblical days. It's a damn business for lawyers and judges and the women who stay home or work part time.. so that they can retire early and live great while you work your ass off.. and if you go get that 2nd job.. she gets to get half of that too.. it's utter bullshit. You will never get ahead unles…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 01:38 AM
4

So in 50/50 states. .if a man files.. he usually STILL gets screwed if he's making more money. Case in point.. I make about 180K a year, wife could make 100K a year part time.. 180K full time (part time due to raising kids, etc.. but kids are all 18 (last one in a few months)). Even so.. even though she makes enough to live on her own.. I would still have to pay her 1500+ a month.. for life.. alimony. Which is nuts to me. All this womens rights shit.. and meanwhile.. divorce is all about the wom…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:17 AM
2

I hope EVERY man who decides to go out that way.. leaves tons of emails, video, etc to the kids, family, friends.. etc.. explaining how she ruined him.. took everything.. etc. But.. that said.. hopefully nobody takes their life. Shit.. flee the country.. disappear.. do something so you dont pay shit. If you can leave the country.. never to come back.. who cares if you got an arrest warrant if you return.. just dont ever return. Period.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:06 AM
6

This is why marriage is an utter bullshit thing to do. But God faring right wing nut jobs who are religious.. and women.. ALL don't get why any man would think marriage is bad. They argue its for family.. its the way God intended. Right.. God also intended for a woman to cheat then divorce.. and take 2/3 to 3/4 of your after tax take home.. so you can struggle to live while she gets to have a great life and sell what a horrible dad you are to your kids because you cant pay for them. I told all m…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:03 AM
1

I think part of it is as men we have more testosterone to release in general right.. and while not everyone (or maybe not most men) lift weights on any sort of regular basis even when younger.. but there is a certain "hoorah" that goes along with it I think.. like.. we're powerful as men together working out or even alone or with just a buddy. A sort of brotherhood.. don't get me wrong.. lot more women than ever work out and many are beasts too (in a good way). There is also an aspect of getting…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 09:17 PM
0

Tell you what I tell my STBXW about our kids.. they wont change until they do for themselves. Therapy, discipline, etc.. none of it works. They have to experience the pains to change. It sadly sounds like that pain for her would be you divorcing her.. and even then it may not change her. If you don't have kids.. though I know some will bash for the "go right to divorce" solution.. but it sounds like you've been living a nightmare for a while now.. unless you just got married. Regardless.. if you…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 04:37 PM
1

I think the main takeaway is to always put stuff in a trust (if you can) so that it is protected from money grabbers in divorce (or lawsuits). I think..?? Not for sure if that works in all situations.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 05:51 PM
14

Stay single.. enjoy life. Date.. enjoy women.. but don't get married.. at least not without a prenup and assurance that you can get out of it without crazy debt/fees. I'd say.. stay BF/GF (or whatever your desire is) without being married. Marriage is a damn business today and many loopholes that nobody knows about until they go through divorce. NOT worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 05:48 PM
1

Bruh.. you should simply STOP thinking of her with men, or like that. It's time for you to think of yourself.. who cares what she does.. you're done. There are millions (like.. no joke.. millions) of single women.. many of which are WAY hotter than your wife ever was/will be, even in their 40s. You got plenty of time to find someone, if you want to. But instead.. focus on your freedom, yourself.. your body.. etc. Don't worry about someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 10:39 PM
3

The kids.. ? :D. For sure the husband.. but while I joke about kids.. I tell you more and more women that are divorced with kids seem to be OK with dating a ton while kids are at home alone or watched by someone else.. the SAHM mentality goes out with the "I need to find me a man" or the "I think I am 20 again"
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 08:17 PM
2

You're not alone my friend. You like many of us have had wives that barely worked or felt entitled to work part time and didn't have to go back to work, etc.. and the courts see that as our fault for some reason.. it's crap. I argue this point all the time for why marriage is not a good thing any more. Besides the typical 'its a business for lawyers', etc.. it's EXACTLY what you said. If a woman feels you emotionally cheated on her.. or otherwise.. the courts see that as legitimate reasons to ho…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:23 PM
3

Same as mine.. RN. Only she can make about 180K full time in our area.. part time is about 100K give or take hours worked.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:18 PM
6

Did she work? Or stay at home? I am about 190K and would likely have to pay 3K to 4K a month.. half my take home after taxes.. just for alimony. If my kids were not 18 and over.. I'd be losing 8K to 9K a month.. the courts dont give a shit that that would leave me less than enough to eat.. let alone have nothing for rent. I don't get it. How in the fuck can that be legal or make any sense of fairness. All because she lost her job (for her own stupid reasons..) and somehow the court (50/50 state)…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:44 AM
1

4k a month legal fees.. what? How long married.. and how much do you make vs what he makes?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 03:02 AM
1

She wont sign anything..that I know.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 02:59 AM
1

I wish I could do that fast enough. It will take 3 to 5 days for my 401K "loan" top arrive in my account. I suspect my lawyer is already beyond busy and can't make that happen this week.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 09:07 PM
1

I would never be able to get her to sign it. Ever. She will do everything she can to screw me over.. signing something that basically prevents her from spending/etc to screw me over would not be in the cards for her. She's dumb.. but not stupid.. so to speak.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 09:05 PM
1

Oy.. I thought I said that above.. I HAVE a lawyer that I want to hire.. he knows judges, he's VERY good.. amazing record for men in divorce. BUT.. with good lawyer comes costs. I do NOT have any money to pull from to hire him right now. Fact is.. as much as he and others would likely love to help.. they dont do it pro bono. So.. to hire the best, you gotta have money. I want to hire this guy because I KNOW she is going to try to fuck me over..and her mother who has money is going to pay for her…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 08:33 PM
1

I assume filing for divorce takes more than a few days. I literally have next week.. if that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:41 AM
1

I am not that stupid first of all.. its all paperware at this point and she already knows of it all.. so its not like I can hide it. Be like winning lottery and trying to hide that. Good luck not ending up losing it all and possibly jail time or something else.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:35 AM
1

Well.. true.. I would actually tell her.. but I guess part of it was.. young kid.. and if this was going to lead to divorce..he's likely in for a long screwed finanical situation all because of it.. but then again.. if this is a deal breaker for her.. better to get out now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:33 AM
1

My primary concern.. well besides the initial up front cost of 10K that I dont have.. is what happens if I file.. and most likely she'll find a way to try to claim I hurt her and get me arrested or thrown out. I have no doubt in my mind. She's already done fake shit but thankfully have cameras and kids around to call her on it. If I file.. I basically need to move out. So I need like 20K in hand to file, pay for lawyers, move out.. and that's hoping I dont lose my job.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 10:46 PM
1

Cant.. stock is worth less than I would have to pay (for cost of it + taxes) right now. Pre ipo. :(.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 10:44 PM
1

But the point of my post is that I can NOT afford lawyer/divorce stuff right now. I just need to STOP all forward financial responsibility based on her spending/etc legally. That is the ONLY reason I want to do this.. if I had the money I'd file and be gone already. 100%. I just wont have anywhere close to what I need to do that right now..but if I don't do the separation bit.. her 100K to 500K surgery/hospital stay (if not more) could end up being 1/2 mine when I finally can file later this yea…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 10:43 PM
1

Did you have similar outlay and potential ex that would do everything she could to screw you over finanically.. ? Or was it a pretty clear cut agreement between the two of you?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 10:41 PM
1

So.. you're saying... in a 50/50 state.. day of separation would "lock in" that day.. and if a bill comes in a week or two later for 100K.. that's hers.. not mine?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:20 PM
1

Ugh.. on paper.. stock could be worth up to 2mil or so depending on when my company goes ipo or bought.. it could be worth jack shit. I don't know.. but company is doing well.. so there is a better chance it's worth something than not. Total assets that are "solid" is about 300K or so for house after loan is paid off.. depending on market value, about 200K or so of retirement (hers) that would roll over to an IRA account... so not actual cash I can use now. Then the regular things like cars, fur…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:19 PM
1

Filing for separation.. ?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:34 PM
1

Go get yourself a vasectomy.. don't tell her.. and tell her lets practice a lot.. like every day we should practice (after you heal). Might be a shit thing to do.. but its your body.. so get the vasectomy ASAP. If you can take a few days off where you can go to a friends place (or hotel) to heal up.. and avoid sex for a few weeks.. that would be ideal.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 07:33 PM
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