Just curious.. and am in California. South.. if that makes a difference but doubt it.

If one of us files.. is there a mandatory 6 month wait before ANYthing happens.. I don't fully grok that "6 month cool off period". Is that mandatory.. and the sale of the house, alimony payment, retirement split, etc.. nothing is done until AFTER that?

Is mediation mandatory as well.. if I hire a lawyer.. can't we just bypass all that and go straight to dividing everything within 30 days and be done?

My big hang up is that I can't afford to move out (5K+ for first/last months anywhere around where I am at.. given about 2500 a month), and with no idea of how much my salary is going to be forced to her until divorce is final and the final real amount is tallied.. I am unclear how I am supposed to just go move out. I have 0 in savings.. so this is literally going to be me stop paying the mortgage on our house, and she is not working right now though technically she should be able to. But the job market is utter shit too.

My biggest worry is my job is potentially going to be gone in a month too.. and moving out taking out a 2500+ rent, plus food/car/insurance// basically about 4K a month or more net needed.. with no income and going through divorce..

that is why I am asking.. the house should bring in about 500K profit.. little less right now.. if it sells in 30 days. If I can come up with 2 months of rent (+ down cost) and move out.. file.. and be assured the house value of about 200K after split/costs.. is in my bank account.. I'd be OK.. I could live for a couple years on 200K in the bank though of course I would be hoping to get a job much sooner.

Same with her retirement account.. as much as I'd rather roll that over.. I don't know that I will have nearly enough money especially if I lose my job to survive on so would likely have to cash out my half of it and take the penalty hit. Not sure how much it is.. but I think about 200K to 300K depending on market/etc. So if I got 100K of it, and cashed out.. I would lose about 60% of it due to taxes and penalties I believe? That would blow.. but need to survive somehow.

I desperately want out.. but just have no way to do it since I pay for all the shit now, and we have about 50K in debt too that has to be paid off (split in divorce I know).

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