Sex after divorce

Ok_Transition_4914 · 2023-09-04T05:08:05+00:00

I was in a dead bedroom. Still in process of divorce because she has been able to push out the trial date. I'm in a relationship that has been going on for quite a while, now. Sex frequency is usually multiple times when we see each other, and quality is beyond amazing. I'm lucky. A lot of people aren't. Whether a new marriage is in the future, only time will tell, but for both of us the mentality is completely different than it ever was with my ex. It's a mutual desire. I don't think it's something you can blame on a marriage situation. I think it's more about the compatibility of two people... But what do I know? I royally fucked up once.

Fresh-Brilliant4550 · 2023-09-04T09:34:18+00:00

Women of all ages will fuck you if you look good. Especially if you don’t commit they will keep fucking you to try to get you to marry or commit.

Get into a gym and get fit.

Men hold the power to commitment, and it’s a lot of power. It’s game. The second you commit you lose the power and they lose the incentive to treat you right.

Face it; no fault divorce has made it a financial lottery for breaking a contract. Keep dangling commitment in front of them and they will do whatever you want. The second you get bored ghost.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-09-04T16:53:58+00:00

Much much better. Being with someone who actually loves you and wants to be intimate is fantastic. Nothing is as lonely as having a partner who you still love and who shows you nothing but indifference.

cschoonmaker · 2023-09-04T07:34:17+00:00

10years divorced. I’ll let you know if it ever happens again. But I’m not holding my breath. 😂

Theedon · 2023-09-04T09:53:12+00:00

Not all pussy feels the same. Sucks to say it, but I miss my old meat wallet. I haven't committed to anything new so there is still hope I find the right one.

jskan77 · 2023-09-04T13:46:58+00:00

Had about 12 months to myself

Next 12 mimths seen a few women , slept with 3

Everyone is different and different experiences .

Cant really compare with ex because I realise it was the connection that was amazing not so much sex

This seems like a docussion point over a zoom call

TNwhiskey901 · 2023-09-04T16:39:01+00:00

I’ve discovered my anxiety around sex has increased dramatically since being divorced. I miss not having any issues in that area with my ex. That was so freeing but I didn’t realize it back then. I think the divorce manifested this way for me. I’ve been with some great women but my fear of many things keeps me from being present and I drove them away. I always assume they all want to ruin me or I’m being set up by some crazy lady or they just want a kid. I recognize this isn’t logical but for some reason I’ve operated this way. Not sure how to be vulnerable and let the guard down. I’ve had very little sex in the past couple years. Some hookups but no sex. I discovered I need a connection with someone and not just that they are attractive.

dnbndnb · 2023-09-04T16:53:32+00:00

It’s been 2.5 years here. No action, not trying. Finally starting to date. As much as I’d love to get laid I’d really like something & someone more meaningful in my life. That has take precedence.

probebeta · 2023-09-04T18:24:33+00:00

I don't know about others here but the frequency has been impressive. There were times when I was having sex everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a night. Quality has been pretty good too, new partner definitely makes a difference. Life is good when it's good.

Having said that, sex and the abundance of lovely women does not replace the feelings I have for someone I spent 10+ years with. I get episodes where I have zero interest in women and bs, but these usually manifest when I'm with my son. It's fairly hard to take any relationship seriously, unfortunately. Maybe it gets better...

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-09-04T10:59:44+00:00

3 years divorced....noone even date me due im being a single dad(No it is not insecurities...thats reality) Had 3 hookups and all felt amazing at the time but everytime I think back I get grossed out about it..

Since than its dry spell ike a year nearly.

Noone wants serious relationship anymore and don't think I can handle anymore person use me,broke me or leave me so possibly I stay as it is but least thats make stay away from the fire again.

Only-Level5468 · 2023-09-04T15:06:31+00:00

While I wasnt looking for it, I met a very cute girl while finalizing my divorce. She knew my whole situation and for that reason (and her personal standards) we waiting a bit to have sex but knew right away we wanted to have sex with each other. It was WELL worth the wait and has been the best sex of my life.

My ex and I had decent sex when we started dating late in college but never communicated well about anything and that ended up being the downfall of our marriage and sex life. I made it a point to not fall in the same habits with my new partner and it has been a complete 180. On top of the crazy physical attraction we have to each other, being open about sex and talking about it regularly makes the experience amazing for both of us.

She’s a little younger (24) than me (28) so having some “experience” in the bed room has really set me apart from some of her previous partners- so for any of the men looking to date in the 22-25 age range, if you know what you’re doing, it will go a LONG way.

BaldieGoose · 2023-09-05T11:50:21+00:00

I met someone two months ago, one year separation divorce is being filed this week. Every time I see my new girl we fuck no less than three times a day, and she proactively gives me head and swallows. She also feeds me, brings me water, massages me after the gym... I know it's a trap, but I'm loving it and also not dumb enough to get married again.

soontobesolo · 2023-09-05T13:41:21+00:00

Q: What's the most effective way to kill a woman's libido?

A: Marry her.

Sex life is currently immeasurably better.

Even before my ex and I started having "Big Problems", her interest in sex waned, she said due to kid/work stress and the like. Probably exacerbated the big problems when her desire never returned. No one wants to go through life longing for desire. I hung on long enough to know it was futile, then bounced.

Now I get to choose who I am with, and as importantly who *want to be with me*. The ladies I date now are psyched to be with me, and genuinely desire me and the sex we have. It's awesome.

Whether that has to do with one partner being "trapped" vs. "free" I'll leave to the psychologists to debate. But the answer is Yes.

Xeppen · 2023-09-04T11:42:27+00:00

I am just 2 months post divorce but had sex for first time after 18 years with another and it was great. Like imagine the other person want to have sex with you and much as you want to have sex with them! Its amazing!

CrazySanta7 · 2023-09-04T17:23:15+00:00

Married or not, sex will dwindle over a long period of time 99% of the time. Yes, sex is better after divorce but thats because i'm not doing long term relationships or marriage again. It works for my situation and is not for everyone.

CaliDude75 · 2023-09-04T17:58:38+00:00

Mixed bag. Currently seeing someone who’s very enthusiastic, shall we say. Not sure what our long-term prospects are, but enjoying the moment. 🙂

techrmd3 · 2023-09-05T01:00:13+00:00

sex life you say? Night and Day man Night and Day.

My ex could be a little sex kitten if she had a mind to be that way. But unfortunately she had so many fights with me I could not get past the meanness to actually bed her as much as she wanted.

It's about 2 years post D day. I have a girlfriend of 7 months... and sex is off the hook! I'm talking 2-3 times a day when we are together!

It's like a whole new experience. I now realize how much the strife in my marriage drove negative sex outcomes. AND that you can have a very pleasant relationship AND incredible sex.

It's not been all roses. I had a string of women who wanted to just lock me down as a new breadwinner ATM. Literally had to dump 3 in a row that wanted to move in after a few dates. But hey if going through that was the price to pay for where I'm at. I'll take that trade. any day

richreason1983 · 2023-09-04T11:28:04+00:00

Depends on the partner, I've had a few amazing partners and a few duds. But one of the things I enjoy about being single is that I have a bunch of variety now. I take care of my self and we should all focus on that, work out, get a good skin care routine, dress nice, get a good barber and hairstyle. You're single again enjoy it, dating has never been easier with apps. For a while I internally complained because sex was probably the one thing that kept us together for 15 years. But I've been pleasantly surprised to find some really good partners. Put your self out there you'll be surprised how easy it is.

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-09-05T15:49:09+00:00

In my experience it's been much better, but that may be due to the fact that it's a new relationship. There's a lot more excitement at 2 years in than 20.

Alatornio · 2023-09-04T04:13:01+00:00

Buy a fleshlight.

brownmuscle408 · 2023-09-04T23:48:34+00:00

It’s totally dry for me… waiting for a miracle… have decent bod… go out often…OLD is dud… being Indian has its stigma … just paying for sex using seeking sugar baby website to feed my appetite for time being… praying to see the light… despite staying in fear of repeating my past mistake of choosing my ex despite all the red flags before marriage. Beat myself up mentally sometimes, also having chronic health issue makes my self esteem in dumps. Hate it when friends tell me to deliberately choose monk mode , when that’s the last thing I wanna do.

Illustrious_Cash1325 · 2023-09-04T06:32:42+00:00

Sex is overrated. Stop trying for some arbitrary number. Take a look at what you are really getting out of it.

Heddlo · 2023-09-04T17:48:16+00:00

No. Sex with my ex was exceptional. Some of the best I've had. I have great sex now, just not quite at the same level sadly.

Title	Sex after divorce
Author	koolaidkid12345
Upvotes	19
Comments	56
Date	September 4, 2023 3:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/169ghht/sex_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/sex-after-divorce.1231249 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231249

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