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ldnsurvival Archive

View 4 posts and 208 comments by ldnsurvival on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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39

I am very financially put-together and I'm planning to buy a house next year and I'm worried any men I date will try to move in with me. Financially secure men are tricky to come by. So many men still living in shitty digs when they're in their 30s. All the homeowners I know are women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 06:03 PM
39

literally, is doing work for him meant to be an incentive??? lmaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:39 PM
60

thinks he's a catch. is not a catch. next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:38 PM
2

He looks EXACTLY like the kind of guy who likes cats 😂 For me, I'm not a pet person. Animals arent people, I'm not well versed in getting to know them. I'm always respectful but have no desire to befriend them tbh just a personal choice really
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 05:52 PM
8

Men are fucking sick in the head
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 05:46 PM
10

Her novels are definitely libfem heaven... and she looks exactly like I expected her to look as well 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 02:12 PM
27

does not surprise me at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:55 PM
3

You did the right thing! You've left now, that is what matters, not what you did wrong in the past. Be encouraged by your own power. It is within you, you've just shown us and yourself. Now hold fast, and don't go back. Cut him off everywhere. He won't change his ways. You deserve to feel loved, appreciated, and valued.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:50 AM
6

Him again!?!?! So fuckin gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 07:48 PM
27

what is he trying to work on there??? None of that looks good to me 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:16 PM
9

great comment 👍x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:00 PM
58

Always have your own bag. My ex earned 20k more than me and still never wanted to pay for anything. I got so sick of him going and spending money on himself and with his friends and never giving me that energy. Always have your own bag!!!! Now I do that shit for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:49 PM
5

going shopping!! i want to buy myself some new clothes for the new job I've been offered, and some jewellery too 😈 shopping online is not the same. What about you? x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:16 PM
3

Yes you SHOULD assume wanting affection after sex is normal!!!!! What planet are people on!?!?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:13 AM
2

Was talking to a man on OLD, seemed nice, very polite. Things are going well so I did some background checks on him. He's a conservative, writes a conservative blog, works in government. The latter bit is good - it's a good job. But his blog being shared by right wing groups on social media doesnt sit right with me. I don't like to display my political leanings on OLD because I dont want to attract THAT kind of liberal man (u know the type I mean - flaky, thinks women are "liberated" if they sle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:24 AM
46

Competitiveness like this is so unattractive and an instant left swipe for me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:01 PM
10

Everything is about quick wins - if a big statement gets the right swipe for them, their work is done. Who cares about integrity anyway right!!??! 🙄🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:40 PM
22

Men have really been acting even more desperate during the pandemic. And clearly still haven't developed listening skills lol 🙄 Also I really feel like walking dates are... kind of unsafe? Especially in the winter when it gets dark early. It wouldn't be hard to wander into somewhere secluded without even realising it, and becoming vulnerable. I think a busy public place is always best for that reason too, and men shouldn't think a pandemic allows this bar to be lowered
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 03:53 PM
76

Each time they out themselves like this, we learn! Fucking clowns
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 08:48 PM
11

Great post! 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 07:08 PM
110

the way they u-turn on their idea and audaciously put it back on us... never ceases to amaze and disgust me lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 07:05 PM
8

You need to say No. Straight up No. You're not comfortable with it. Lay your boundaries out first and foremost, and dont let him push them. Also (and you no doubt have done already) think about longer term sexual compatibility. If this is something that he wants, and wont get past, then he is expecting you to a) just accept it and do what he says even if you're not comfortable or b) leave. YOU decide. "It's not a dynamic based in love". This struck me HARD. For you, sex is about love and you mus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 06:34 PM
6

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:52 PM
8

Agreed. So many OLD profiles have men who just want to travel... or list all the countries they've been to. Like...OK? I'm happy for you. But what are you building? What do you have to show for all that? What have you learnt? It strikes me so much as men just trying to string out their student years of limited responsibility and not actually embrace their adult lives where they should be BUILDING something. I am also swiping left. A lot. 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:50 PM
17

I take it as being indicative of someone who enjoys shitting on other people's beliefs and has a very limited world view. Turns me off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:54 AM
10

ALL of this. Spot on 💪🧡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:23 PM
6

So many men think u are there to serve them and their needs. Most of them dont know what to do when a woman shows needs or opens up about something that is challenging for her in her life. I think a lot of men just never develop emotional intelligence and, as you say, think we are just dolls for fun times rather than complex human beings!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:59 PM
25

This thread is amazing... made my week. I love all you ladies!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:44 PM
8

Keep us updated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:20 AM
3

Correct!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:03 PM
82

Definite neg. Implying you would need to be confident (read crazy) to wear that dress and bag because who the fuck would. Dont let him off the hook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:51 PM
3

Definitely stay away from the apps! And yes, so exhausting, I really feel this - have been there myself. You will get yourself back sooner than you think if you give yourself a good chance 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:42 PM
9

First try not to feel stupid for putting up with it for so long. You are still young and he is a lot older than you and a peice of shit, so it's all on him. All us women on this sub have had moments we are embarrassed about. Be pleased you are away from him and start to frame your life in a new way. Don't date for a while. Do things that you like doing, identify the beliefs and values that you want to define your life and choices, and spend time alone. I know from experience that dealing with a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:04 PM
51

I'm obsessed - this is exactly what this sub is all about. Do something super nice for yourself because you deserve it ! 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:29 PM
2

A meeting is probably in order then... I will wait it out and see where things go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:28 AM
5

Yeah I think if a lot of men love bomb then when one doesnt it feels weird! But might actually just be a good thing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:27 AM
4

Interesting! Part of me was thinking "well is this just a grown up man... maybe hes just not sleazy or creepy trying to lay it on with compliments". I am inclined to wait and see now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:01 PM
8

I feel this. Sorry that you're finding things tough right now - it's such a stressful time and doesnt seem to be ending. Cling on with me, and we will ride this out! 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:32 PM
8

Hi gang - I've been chatting to someone on OLD and the conversation is ok and he is initiating... but he has not flirted once! It is strange that he is just chatting to me like I'm his buddy. Anyone else got experience of this? Edit: Got to say I'm kind of turned off... but I wonder if I am just used to love bombing a lot 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:29 PM
3

sending good vibes 🧡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:52 PM
135

100%. I always go on about men's OBSESSION with their friends and the need to be recognised, wanted, and respected by them. They never match this energy for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:06 AM
47

I wonder how he feels about his own mother........
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:58 PM
40

You are so right. Expect negging, mocking of your ideas and opinions, and an inability to have a grown up serious conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:53 PM
26

He's living in fantasy land
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:29 PM
17

Agree. Would have been more classy. So much of her persona centred on her victimhood and it was not a good look. Whilst she was naive and vulnerable when they married, as time progressed she loved playing the victim and had to have the last word always. Petty and not HV 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 08:53 PM
5

literally lmfao why are they so predictable. I put a honest wholesome bio and men are just like "want someone to make quarantine bearable 🍑". I returned to OLD after a time away knowing that my standards have changed and knowing what I expect. Unfortunately I have changed but the men have not!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 11:00 AM
15

Agreed - hinge in london is just terrible, I'm not sure how it is elsewhere. All men on hinge want to do is make puns, go skiing, and show pictures with babies they're barely related to because apparently that shows they're "family focused". I stuck it out for a while but felt so much better once deleted. I'm sorry you had a shit time, glad you came off them. But wanting genuine connection (and the D 🤭) is real and being without it is hard, I feel ya. X
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:43 PM
7

true! I'm using the pandemic for ALL the excuses at the moment, great way of ditching shit I don't want to do 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:53 PM
2

Say you're worried about close contact transmitting the virus!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:30 PM
32

we've all had crazy chemistry with the weirdest dudes 😂 how does this happen 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:29 PM
32

embarrassing...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:09 PM
23

The delusion! Lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:14 AM
32

He's cheating again lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 02:59 PM
23

Literally made up to prop up hookup culture as somehow natural. Heaven forbid you want to actually know the person before you make yourself vulnerable in that way. You need a label for that! 🤢🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:10 AM
72

They are not compatible!! Ladies, make your intentions clear from start and if they don't align, don't waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:07 AM
4

I'm glad u ditched. Was the right thing to do. The need to control such tiny aspects of your behaviour. Childish, controlling, and concerning. Sending you good vibes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:12 PM
13

Crotch goblin!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:05 PM
41

Men are always trying to make their sexuality and sexual needs our problem and responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 02:09 PM
10

I would just say remember there is a pregnant woman with an unsupportive partner in the midst of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:27 PM
75

Yeah this sucks. Stop doing stuff for men... they always find a way to shit on it some way or another. Hope she sees the light.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:21 PM
360

If you're out here sexualising the actions of a baby you need professional help
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:54 PM
7

I'm dreading going out to pubs and bars once lockdown is lifted. The number of men who are going to be out in maximum manipulation mode to get a shag. Ugh. I'll pass and go later once the cattle market is gone! 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 05:09 PM
14

Facts. Nothing else will do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 07:30 PM
16

RIGHT? Realising this made me can-in OLD once and for all. Never gone back; Hinge was the worst. Everything veiled under pretending to be LTR focused. Smh I hate these men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 06:17 PM
80

blink twice if u need help girl... this is nagl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 06:16 PM
32

Damn... amazing how "green flags" for men are basic human decency. Lmao. The reason we talk about red flags is cause the rest should be a GIVEN. These green flags listed just cannot outweigh red flags, especially when piss-weak like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:20 PM
19

And he cheats still!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 07:55 PM
5

WHY do they do this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:40 AM
29

Degrading yourself for men is never worthwhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:37 AM
6

Definitely ok to dump over text in these circumstances.. just be straight with him, say you're not feeling it, and block once you've sent the message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:35 AM
118

Lmao it's a disgrace honestly. How low must their self-esteem be to watch another woman being degraded and sit whilst their man gets off on it? They need help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:30 PM
24

This broke my heart. He never deserved you. Reminds me very much of a relationship I was in a few years ago now. It didnt matter how far I went, how much I showed him I loved him, he always found a way to shit on it. He was incapable of coming through for me or making me feel good. Men are selfish and they don't deserve our thoughtfulness and selflessness. I hope you are doing good now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:34 PM
40

Thank you so much for this post. In lockdown and today feeling so low and worried about how my life is going to pan out after this is all over, especially in regards to finding a partner. I have for a long time felt like it was only me who finds dating and men daunting as hell specifically because of the points you mentioned. My last relationship made me feel empty because of these factors and I do not want to take risks when my mental and emotional wellbeing is on the line. I would rather be on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:25 PM
67

Classic neg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:22 PM
24

Correct. But women still need to be warned and safeguarded against the vast majority of the male population frankly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 01:45 PM
34

This makes me so angry. How have we got to this point? The relentless commodification of women's bodies, instant gratification forgetting there is a person with feelings inside that body, and the mainstream nature of porn in recent decades. No wonder men under 30 can't get it up. Sexually we have the shittest lot in generations. I despair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 01:44 PM
52

Very familiar. Private when it concerns his image to other men. My ex would do everything for his friends to keep up his image.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:34 PM
87

And their friends - they care SO MUCH what their friends them of them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:30 PM
11

Was this my ex? Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:28 PM
54

That tea was to go, and it was HOT! Congrats on this outstanding response to such disrespect. We can all aim for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 10:03 PM
18

What does he need to process? So what if it's not the norm; he's a grown man and should see you as a person and not just a personification of your sexual pursuits. I feel like you already know the answer here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:59 PM
15

Thanks, I hate it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:25 PM
12

Vetting can be done through basic text exchanges honestly. Saves you the time and the effort of getting dressed up to meet a wasteman. And it's safer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:23 PM
9

Here are some handbook chapters for you. Be open to dating multiple men, makes executing the content of the below chapter much easier. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/feixg6/no_excuses_date_multiple_men_until_commitment_is/ Keeping feelings in check. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dl57z2/there_is_zero_benefit_to_having_a_crush_eliminate/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:26 AM
29

Why would you initiate the date and offer to pay when you've been a long time lurker :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:05 PM
7

Ikr. This weird bonding over shit standards is uncomfortable for me to watch lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:53 PM
6

Speaking from experience, he won't change. Block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:50 AM
11

She literally needs to go to the police. Honest to God.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:49 AM
35

Literally. I cannot relate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:44 AM
21

Like... is it meant to be funny that we are chronically underselling ourselves?? This tweet makes me uncomfortable lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:43 AM
7

Wow this sounds similar to me - my ex could only come from head or doggy. I started feeling so dehumanised and I'm still struggling with how it made me feel now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 01:54 PM
8

Period
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 01:44 PM
3

Oh dear. I thought Mark was childish and weirdly in awe of Jessica, saying all the "right" things she wants to hear, agreeing with everything she says. Reeks of emotional underdevelopment, and indicates a lack of understanding of how relationships work. I hope to god this sub doesnt genuinely stan...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 05:07 PM
8

Right!?!? Diamond was NOT having the "stripper name" comment. Diamond deserved better than the trainwreck she ended up with :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 05:03 PM
5

I didnt think Barnett was HVM. I found him seedy in the beginning, with lots of sexual innuendos etc. I found him shabby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 05:02 PM
6

Oop... tea 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:00 PM
52

FACTS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 02:57 PM
21

Also so many of these stories sound fake af...😬🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:36 AM
53

Yes, unfortunately I think this is negging. Why couldn't he just leave it at "you have a great body"? Of course he could have done. Breakups are so tough but I found it becomes easier once you start to process and really understand all the things that upset you or didnt sit right with you at the time. Hang in there 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 07:40 PM
113

This triggered me soooo much lmao but it's so true - if they care they will do everything to not hurt you. Amazing that we have to relearn this as women after years of tolerating men and changing our needs and feelings to fit around them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 06:34 PM
46

Men flipping their shit in public, and especially on public transport, is a daily experience for me. I'm sick of having it inflicted on me and on other women. Like...Get a grip. We're all on this shitty delayed train together. It's not just your struggle. Control yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 12:39 PM
10

Like... it's implied if you have sex with him, he will hold you after. It's an attempt to extend the emotional connection. Attempting to make the woman emotionally invested or think it's more than it is. It's just the sex they want, but they'll have you on an emotional leash which increases chances of more sex for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 12:24 PM
45

I'm so sorry this happened to her. I've experienced similar... I'm sure many of us have unfortunately. Sometimes having boundaries is not enough - if men want to violate them, they will. A fucking disgrace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 04:09 PM
3

For my sanity 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:55 PM
88

Do men expect to get right swipes with this??? WHO is swiping right on this. Sounds unhinged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 01:00 PM
33

I feel all of this. Barely even find men attractive any more - feel so disengaged from them. I think it's a defence mechanism and a means of preserving mental and emotional energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 12:59 PM
13

Why would u even post there. Come on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 10:23 PM
43

Way to neg your wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 09:37 PM
4

Let him get away with mocking my impoverished immigrant family members in front of his friends. I have never been so hurt in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:30 PM
6

I'm glad you're now free to live your life FOR YOU. It's so hard being repeatedly upset and disrespected by someone you care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:23 PM
15

This is why I have completely left OLD and will not go back. The game playing. Such childishness. Men who refuse to be straight with you because you are always just an "option" to him. Asking men out will NOT get round this issue and only serves the dishonest and grasping kind of men that use OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:05 PM
24

I identify with this so much. I gave so much emotional support and energy to my boyfriend. He regularly let me down when I needed him. He didnt know how to care for anyone; pathetically he could barely look after himself. I lost sight of who I was. All my energy went into being there for him - I hate to say it. I'm embarrassed to say it. I lost touch with my hobbies, my interests, my sexuality, my self esteem flat lined, I had no time to develop myself, I had no energy to process a recent bereav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 08:43 PM
7

100% agree. All that stress of combatting chronic disappointment. Exhausting. I don't miss it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 07:16 PM
18

Lawd I just want a family focused, honest, respectful man with BDE. I'll join the queue then... 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 06:45 PM
25

Never understood why I was always lighter when I was with my exes. Retrospectively I realise it was the stress keeping the weight off. Safe to say it the weight has gone back on a bit now though but at least I'm not running myself ragged over useless men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 06:31 PM
19

"I love me, I love me enough for the both of us" Smh girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:37 PM
29

Great analogy! Starting with high standards and maintaining NO MATTER WHAT is super important and builds resilience against breadcrumbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:03 PM
213

"I'm glad he was honest".... was he tho ?? 🤔 congratulating him for the shoddiest behaviour, I'm sick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:03 PM
3

Trust your gut. He made your feel uncomfortable. He didnt need to do that, he CHOSE to. I really would avoid him for now onwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 10:21 PM
16

Seconded - I've seen an increase in pickmes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:00 PM
46

This breaks my heart and is one of my greatest fears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 08:59 AM
20

Very true, I wonder the same. I also think there is a real thing of "one-downmanship" among men, thinking it makes them cool or laid back or different from the rest if they aren't chasing big goals. It's pathetic cause you have to "get on" to make something of your life. No fucking ambition in any areas of their lives. Hardly a catch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:26 PM
36

It's so bad. I look around when I'm out and about like.... this is it? This is our lot? A load of sacks of shit? Smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:08 PM
7

This guy is not the answer. No man is better than a bad man. There will be someone deserving of you out there, promise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:05 PM
255

Still using his wife's plan for his medical condition. Smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:04 PM
9

I'm sickened
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 06:07 PM
3

Right... the thought of it ... I'm so turned off what a wet wipe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 06:05 PM
24

Theres a lot to process here lmfaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:05 PM
32

"ha" - why does this provoke such a reaction from me lmao 🙄😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 07:53 PM
6

No I think it is too much too soon. Your phone number might be a peice of identifying info so it's totally fair to not want to share it straight away. Also a man who is worth anything at all will know that it's important for you to feel comfortable. Trust your gut that it kills your mood!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 05:57 PM
8

My ex had never been in a relationship longer than 6 months and he did not know how to build and grow a relationship. I was his first long term relationship (1.5 years) so I know I built him up a lot in this way and showed him how it needs to work. I did a lot of peddling myself however; he just wasnt willing to change his behaviour or didnt care enough about me to do so. Just be mindful that you might have to do the same, and might have to be the person to show him how a LTR works. It's not nec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 12:19 PM
10

Wow, my mum definitely shares characteristics with yours! Just shows environment and the attitudes you are exposed to growing up can have intergenerational impact!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 04:04 PM
49

This is not uncommon for grandmas lol ! My grandma comments negatively on every woman she sees on the tv, hates when women "get on" and become prominent, and thinks men are better at everything. No female solidarity at all. She's 87 now. I love her dearly and she always raves about me (in a superficial looks-focused way). But the anti-woman energy does grind my gears!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 02:36 PM
10

I dont actually know what mine has been up to. I know he went holidaying to Thailand with some friends (a trip he booked when we were together and didnt even tell me he was going until it was all booked, let alone an invite). I'm pretty sure he was secretly in love or obsessed with the of the friends he went with. I assume he's fine but just desserts are probably due lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:29 PM
3

Let us know how it goes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 10:57 PM
31

In London! I cannot believe. 🤩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 10:55 PM
6

This is wild! I would like to see the research done behind this. I've never been on bc so interesting to think my decision making is different from a woman who is on it. Obviously a personal decision to be on bc or not, do what is best for you and your body etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:08 PM
19

There is a story here that needs telling! Lmao. But you are totally right... what the hell!?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 03:50 PM
21

"Haha" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 11:37 PM
7

Omg this tea is hot and sweet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:33 PM
6

Phoning him to say "dont text me" !?! Makes no sense sis! Block block block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:18 PM
24

I hate to say it but this sounds like my ex. He was kind of disgusted by my own pleasure and it took a while for me to see it. He was not interested or turned on by me getting off. All in all, nen who are selfish in bed WILL show their selfishness in other areas of life too. I wish I had taken the sign sooner 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:17 PM
14

This is a lot like my memories of my dad. I know I hold innate high standards because of him. I know I havent always made the best choices but I have always known that men like my dad must be out there somewhere!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:13 PM
81

The AUDACITY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 08:57 PM
23

My ex could have written this about me tbh. Just took endlessly from me. Didn't love me, just loved the ways in which I could serve him. I'm disgusted at myself for staying with him for as long as I did. I became his carer, always picking him up. He never did a damned thing for me. Just took, and made me feel like he was doing me a favour the whole time. I read this post and I am so glad to be shot of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 07:56 PM
10

Needed to hear this ! Thank you !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 10:48 PM
17

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:24 PM
5

She was probably scared. Only 19 :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:19 PM
5

This hasn't happened to me exactly but I feel weirdly triggered by this lmao UGH all the shit we have to put up with
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:16 PM
5

Totally agree with all of this. I was using Hinge in London. I couldn't stand Hinge after a while because I felt I was being manipulated from the offset by men using this app. Because of its more "wholesome" image, I assumed men on Hinge were more likely to want something serious. I spent so much of my time talking to men from Hinge, for them to tell me they just wanted something casual and to get the hump when I didn't want the same. But they'll happily let you believe otherwise in the beginnin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 05:51 PM
7

Know early, and DON'T let them back in!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 10:19 PM
7

Lateness is my ultimate pet peeve. It shows a lack of respect. I am never late for anything unless something drastic has happened. Why can't they do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 11:11 AM
14

I deleted mine earlier this week. I didn't realise that it was weirdly stressing me out having to ramp up EVERY TIME I started talking to a new guy. So exhausting. Deleting it feels cathartic and I feel better already and like I can use that energy much better elsewhere!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 11:07 PM
9

I feel seen! This is a real problem for me; I really hope that I can one day think I'm truly hot enough for the man of my dreams like... I'm working on it but this stuff runs deep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 10:40 PM
1

Do we have a new one of these threads going out soon?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 07:38 PM
15

I'm so proud of you for sticking to what you know is right. That is self-love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:40 PM
54

Thanks for sharing this. This has reminded me of what it was like having sex with my ex. I feel retrospectively dirty about the sex I had with him in light of this. He always made me feel like I could be anyone; he never connected with me as an individual and sometimes acted like he didn't even want to see my face. I lost a lot of my sexual confidence with him but working on getting that back by working on myself and ridding myself of his negative energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:35 PM
176

I'm embarrassed for them both frankly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:23 PM
57

This reminds me of this article. What we risk exposing ourselves to is becoming worse and worse and more and more mainstream. The damage that this is doing to us, the fear that we might experience this when we get into bed with a man. It's just horrendous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 06:08 PM
7

I'm so glad you made this post! The "hangout" has been plaguing my OLD experience (among a million other things obvs) and I never know what to say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 12:28 PM
32

right!? Same 😂 "Report Licker" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 12:24 PM
38

I kind of wish I'd been more vocal with my ex about his sex game tbh. He needed some serious constructive feedback but he would always get stroppy if I tried to tell him. He was so unaccustomed to understanding female pleasure after years of fuck-and-chucks that I actually think he was beyond repair lmao. I would tell him I liked something and he would STOP DOING IT. It was so bizarre that I used to think he was doing it on purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:13 AM
9

Would second this. There is no doubt that this is an outstanding part of your character OP... but LVM love to make themselves a charity case. Save that part of yourself for ones that matter and deserve it... they will see it eventually!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:33 PM
49

I bought my ex a £150 leather satchel for his birthday when we'd only been together 6 months and he got me nothing for mine. Not even a card. We were on a trip for my birthday and were splitting costs throughout. He really woke up next to me on my birthday and had nothing to hand me in that moment. I was so hurt. Not even a card! I felt like he could not be bohered. When I asked him if he'd got me anything, he said he'd pay for museum tickets but like... we were splitting costs throughout the tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:30 PM
50

We've all been conditioned to make it easy for these 3/10 men when they continue to have unrealistic standards for us. Unlearning this behaviour is super hard... I still find myself giving way too many men on OLD the benefit of the doubt when he doesn't fit what I'm looking for and will probably use me, but I'm trying to unlearn this bullshit. We CAN do it. Be picky, be a bitch. You're allowed to want the best for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 03:12 PM
20

That dog is so done 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:12 PM
7

That's great! I'm sending you all the strength and positive energy for your exciting ambitions 💪💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:47 PM
66

Well they hesitated quite a lot and made it awkward probably in the hope that I would buckle and say "yes of course, I can take it" etc but I just stuck to what I was saying and said it like it was final and....... the work has mysteriously disappeared (read: gone to the rightful member of staff who should have been handling it anyway...🤭) I often feel like a doormat in my job even though I'm highly capable. People will take you for a ride if you show an ounce of ability and efficiency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:24 PM
35

I'm super pleased you're enjoying yourself and in some good company! However would just say STAY GUARDED. It is early days still. I'm not saying it's all going to go to shit but just be a little wary and keep the pace steady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 10:28 PM
1

someone copied pasted in the comments !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 11:20 PM
6

Sheesh, that poor girl. I feel horrible reading this. She must be so disturbed by it. It's time to get away girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 11:19 PM
84

15 seconds is optimistic 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 11:08 PM
18

All I can think about is all these rampant uni kids and the STDs... 🤢 I can smell the nightclub carpet - if you know, you know 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 11:06 PM
5

I never used to state upfront. However earlier this week I updated my Hinge profile, stating upfront. I feel 100x better because I feel like I'm being honest with myself as much as with them. That is my standard and I am making it known. I think some men either don't read it (just go and like my first picture), or others may have seen it which gives a bit of promise. I'm worried they just want to get under my skin and then use me, still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 08:10 PM
4

Also live in London and would be interested to know. London is almost too big to meet anyone I sometimes feel!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 08:07 PM
23

First well done for standing your ground and sussing out the taxi move. Second, not all men would push to come back with you once you said you didn't want to. I am struggling to believe it myself but I know it must be true, so I keep repeating it to myself lol. Totally get why it's turned you off - so disappointing but it's what he should expect for behaving with no class at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 06:55 PM
16

I had a guy make a joke about how he was expecting me to booty call him and I just replied with "not my style tbh" and he left me on read. Not my problem lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 01:38 PM
26

I'm super pleased that I can now come here and read content before dating, during dating, and even once a man is showing proper interest. A great resource, and it has already given me confidence in a) trusting my gut b) sticking to my standards and c) identifying red flags. Thanks 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:18 PM
22

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 09:12 PM
103

Nah, destroy the rest of his life with criminal charges 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 08:39 PM
4

Same I always stay generic/vague. For my safety, sheesh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:03 PM
10

No I think your instinct is right. It always feels to me as if he's trying to see if you're an acceptable distance for a booty call or a hook up. I always give a super vague response when they ask. It's rarely a point of general chat unless it's in the context of something else i.e "oh i live near there!" etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:02 PM
11

If he is interested he will message, trust us! All the messaging you've given him so far has been positive, he's got no reason to think you're not interested. And if he doesnt he's stubborn and proud so you can assess that yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 09:39 AM
14

They think we are so stupid it's a disgrace tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:52 PM
8

Oh yeah definitely. One of the guys definitely a catch. Was high achieving, serious salary, always went to visit his girlfriend who lived like 1.5 hours drive away, supported her when she had to go abroad for a huge operation, and was always respectful of her when around anyone else (no putting down or making her feel dumb in front of his friends, unlike mine). Obvs can't vouch for behind closed doors. I did used to look at him and think about how my pathetic my ex was compared to that grown MAN…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:50 PM
44

I had a spike in matches on the day of NYE... probably hoping for the same thing smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:35 PM
54

So true about men and their status in their friendship group. My ex would reject my suggestion of plans because it was across town and "too far", but drop everything (including me) when his mates made plans. He would regularly do things with his friends that he had told me was "boring" and "too far". He had no backbone and was possibly the LowestVM in his friendship group. I gave up and dumped him after a year and a half of that shit. A year and a half too late! But I learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:04 PM
23

Advice I would give is that don't turn to men when you feel sad or lonely. This isn't always easy to do, but trust me that they will only make these feelings worse and give you more issues to handle. Try to strengthen your character, know yourself, and do things that make your life better for you. I spent the first half of my twenties making a few men's lives easier when I was dealing with some pretty huge challenges myself and it was a waste of my time and they gave me nothing, nor helped me wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:48 PM
13

100% supporting your point 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 10:44 PM
29

It kills the vibe. Be a man, have some ideas, make a plan, and stand by it. Use your character or something. This is so flat and lazy and I get it all the time; stick a fork in me I'm done 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 10:35 PM
57

If he triples down pls do not pursue OP he will be a disappointment in other areas in time if this hasnt been enough of a sign in itself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 10:34 PM
67

It's so frustrating... this kind of noncommittal response takes the wind out of the sails and instantly makes me feel like this is going to be a chore that I will have to take the lead on. Tbh it makes me drier than cream crackers m8
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 10:31 PM
7

I'm new to this sub and read this in the handbook that I thought was useful and interesting as we all make these assessments subconsciously I think - https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ed8oyg/sexual_compatibility_for_the_purposes_of_early/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share I know that I won't wait until marriage with the next good (lol) guy but I am going to be much more careful with who I let see me in that way and what I tolerate from men in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 07:22 PM
23

The kindest treatment honestly 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 06:34 PM
7

My greatest challenge is getting tinder men to actually sustain a conversation. So many are patchy and inconsistent that you never even begin to know them. They want to meet up ASAP and I won't. But then, inconsistency and inability to a conversation is not HVM I guess so that tells me enough 🙄😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 06:31 PM
7

That's next level 🥶 I am in awe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 06:28 PM
34

I know I deserve more than a man who you have to "give a chance" or "give the benefit of the doubt". I'm done with having to interpret and read into men, hoping to find goodness in there, and receiving this treatment on the way. For men so proud they love to be charity cases. No more "chances"!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 12:03 PM
3

"I don't like texting" .... one of my personal pet peeves 😡 so u want me to tolerate being ignored or forced on a date with you before I've had a chance to background check u and limit the chances of u being a murderer? He doesnt respect women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 10:18 AM
3

So depressing! I still don't know how to make it work for me and trying to hone my weeding skills. Still full of disingenuous men, 100% agree. And I do worry about your last point too 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 09:31 PM
9

LVM identifier - resents when you wear heels and become taller than him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 08:52 PM
8

Trust your gut! And do break it off if he's not legit and hasnt proved himself even a little by now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 06:45 PM
16

It's too good to be true... probably is. Kind of feels like a trap sometimes. I have asked about intentions a lot and often they're just flaky and it's all the image 🙄😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 06:25 PM
36

Dw I hit him with the "night" and then blocked him lmao. No desire to see him or pander to him. I am growing and learning 😈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:58 PM
14

Totally. I instantly sympathised with her over him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:53 PM
33

Hinge attracts "nice guys" who want to appear wholesome and and will use that to appear "relationship material" - but they say anything to boost your confidence in them to shag you quicker. So LVM like bumble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:49 PM
34

This is my prevailing experience on various dating apps. Men dropping the "drink?" message straight away like they dont have to do anything at all and I'm going to turn up looking good and making /them/ look good in turn. Tell me what you bring besides 30 mins of basic chat before you have to tap out smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:21 PM
13

And! For being made to feel like I should be his therapist and like it's my job to get him to get on 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:10 PM
29

I'm so sick of by being a crutch for men who need a therapist and have no ambitions of their own smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:09 PM
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