I dated this guy for almost 2 years. We just broke up yesterday. I was “addicted” to him and obsessed with him. He was actually great in bed, and he could be so charming and sweet when he felt like it...key term “when he felt like it.” I’m much younger, I am 20 and he is 28.

The rest of the time, it was highs and lows, ups and downs. He would blow me off and ignore me. He would cancel on me for no reason. I’d cry almost every day trying to figure out why he was mad at me, I’d send him endless texts trying to talk to him. Sometimes he’d be super mean for no reason. I made mistakes too, but I feel like ultimately I was loving and supportive to him.

I felt worthless when things were bad, elated when things were good, but honestly there were more bad days than good days. He’d randomly be “totally in love with me” and talk about living together for like a week, then switch back to being cold and mean. I now know this was “love bombing.”

He didn’t used to do this, but in the past few months he started asking me for money constantly, asking me to buy him small things and I did. I regret that. In the past few months he really was just using me. I caught him on Tinder so many times but he always had an excuse, he never apologized. I don’t know why things got so bad in the last few months but he started acting sick of me.

We finally broke up yesterday. He broke up with me. I hadn’t seen him in over a week because he had been “working.” Then I found out from his sister that he quit his job over a week ago, so he was just lying. She also told me she thinks he’s cheating on me and I deserve better. I made a fake Tinder account, found him on there, and catfished him then blocked him.

I went to pick up my stuff from his house yesterday and he was cold, smirking and laughing. Yet for some reason, he hasn’t blocked me and still wants to continue playing an online game with me. We played last night and he kept talking to me in the chat, said we are “friends” now and kept repeating that. Not sure what that’s about.

All in all, I feel stupid for putting up with that for so long, I think he must be a narcissist or sociopath. I know he lies to his closest friend and family constantly. There were good things about the relationship, but overall my mental health suffered dramatically. I am scared to ever be in a relationship again. I don’t think it’s possible. I want to learn how to be happy with myself. I never want to date a man like that again.