~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 206 | HVM in smaller cities?This might be an unpopular comment, but in general men behave better in regions where men outnumber women. In cities/counties where women outnumber men, their behaviour tends to get even worse. "Date-onomics" by Jon Birger goes into this in a lot of detail and even if you don't agree with all his findings, I think he makes some fascinating points. Honestly, I would look for a city that you like anyway that happens to have a higher proportion of men to women. Being near a military base or tech hu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/22 12:11 PM |
| 76 | Women Never Hit the Wall: A Field StudyMe, stage-whispering from the corner: The only women who hit a "wall" (age rapidly and drastically) are women who marry and have children with LV scrotes because that will absolutely suck out all your joy, youth and passion. Kids are exhausting and trying to raise them with a man-child is 10x worse. Notice how many women divorce those guys and look about a million times better 7 months later? Whereas men generally do not take good care of themselves and start to decompose like a damp sponge by 3… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 12:10 PM |
| 77 | Women who play video games and want a partner to play with; Navigating the toxic wasteland of Gamer BoysI absolutely appreciate your note about how men who's only interest is video games are LV. I think video games are a yellow flag, period, because besides being a passive hobby (which are fine and normal to have, but shouldn't be ALL you hobbies) they are also straight-up addictive in a way that other passive hobbies (ie., Watching movies) usually aren't. That said, my husband occasionally plays video games, and he's still a great person. Hell, I occasionally play video games and I'm still pretty… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 11:55 AM |
| 21 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindI think this is just true of people in general - the coolest men and women I know are generally secure in themselves. Which is not to say that they don't have some insecurities sometimes - we all do, and I think that's normal - but people who are pretty much comfortable with themselves lack fundamental insecurity, and that's really attractive! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 10:19 PM |
| 36 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindThe "wall" is about women's attractiveness and options supposedly diminishing rapidly after 30. In reality, most women do not experience that at all. However, I'm always suspicious of a man over 40 who is not married, because most men who want to be married by then are. It's not to say that "all the good ones are taken", but that the ones who want to settle down generally have. Note - wanting to be married may be correlated with being HV but it is NOT a perfect correlation. Plenty of men who wan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:36 PM |
| 30 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindUGHH gross but true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:18 PM |
| 63 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindTo be fair, I've never gone out of my way to seek out professional men. I would say that the only really natural way to meet them is get involved in the hobbies that are popular with professionals, which in my experience tend to be (though this is NOT exclusive) some combination of expensive and extreme. A lot of the professionals I know are into some sport that either costs money (parasailing, downhill skiing in beautiful places, cycling with all the cool gear) or is intense/extreme (a weird nu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:17 PM |
| 59 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindThis is a spot-on addition and I really appreciate it! I know so many professional women of all kinds and so few of them have these problems, yet there are a not-insignificant number of guys who are just...not coping. The super-genius is one of the worst because he also usually lacks empathy; he's got the "why are you struggling when this is so easy?" mentality that will absolutely make you miserable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:13 PM |
| 67 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindYes, this is so true. Workaholics are heartbreaking because as you say, they may have good qualities that you value but they're unsuitable as partners - and yet people act like there's something wrong with YOU for leaving. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 03:25 PM |
| 4 | Dating “inequality” “data analysis”-🤣"We took one single measure of attractiveness from one dating app and extrapolated to all heterosexual dating activity" is a hell of an audacious bit of data analytics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 01:14 PM |
| 147 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.I dated a guy like this. He wanted to stay up till 4 am regularly, party on weeknights and generally go out socializing 24/7. He also, of course, wanted threesomes and "adventurous" sex that I was not comfortable with. I'm sure he thought I was boring too. But I wasn't the one who had to find a new job every 6 months because I kept getting fired 🤷 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/22 11:18 PM |
| 228 | What characteristics are you looking for in a partner?In my opinion, there are only two a-priori characteristics that all HVM must possess: kindness and sexual compatibility. There are other qualities that matter of course, but if you don't start with kindness and sexual compatibility, none of the rest matters. Your man is smart, handsome and funny? Doesn't matter if he isn't also kind and good in bed (with you). Your man is rich, fit and loves kids? Doesn't matter if he isn't nice to you and only wants missionary in the dark once a month. Also, yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/22 10:24 PM |
| 19 | Little reminder about "red flags"Okay, so for the most part I agree with you. But for some of us, our intuition has been so warped by our experience that it's not always accurate. Your gut is trained to recognize "normal" and "not normal" by what's around you - so if you have a history of dating people who treat you really poorly and your intuition has NOT been going off (as opposed to just ignoring it) it's important to interrogate what's going on. If your intuition tells you shitty people feel safe and familiar (because that'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/22 09:29 PM |
| 53 | HVM prefer monogamous relationshipsMost of the HV value people I know either prefer monogamous, long-term relationships or just don't date at all. I don't think there is anything morally wrong with casual, FWB relationships, but I think most people over the age of 22 have seen that even if they aren't INNATELY bad, they have a tendency to lead to shittiness: broken hearts, hurt feelings, not to mention risk of pregnancy or disease. Casual relationships are just usually not worth it. They aren't worth the time or emotional energy,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/22 11:21 PM |
| 151 | Do you sometimes think whether you come across a single and compatible HVM who likes you back is beyond your control more than anything else in life?It's true - you can't control whether the right person comes into your life or not. All you can do is build a wonderful life you are totally fulfilled by, which quite frankly increases your likelihood of encountering someone HV. While lots of guys suck, I do think this sub suffers from a pretty foundational bias, which is that most of us have dealt mostly with shitty guys, so we start to feel like HVM are like 1% of guys, whereas I'd argue they're anywhere from 10-20% of guys, depending on the c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 07:22 PM |
| 18 | If you need to ask for it, just leave - You want PROACTIVE, not compliant!I LITERALLY HAD A GUY DO THAT 👀👀👀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 04:34 PM |
| 20 | If you need to ask for it, just leave - You want PROACTIVE, not compliant!I had an ex like this! I'd be like "you live in filth" and he'd be like "uh rude :(" and then clean and expect it to impress me?! And use it as justification for not being even barely decent in any other way? Like "ugh I can't believe you're upset because I'm mean to you, did you forget that I cleaned my stove?" Mindboggling. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 04:33 PM |
| 41 | Have you ever witnessed/experiences a LVM turn to a HVM?I think this is a really important point: we can all level up in life, but changing our fundamental nature is EXTREMELY hard. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:37 PM |
| 14 | Have you ever witnessed/experiences a LVM turn to a HVM?I think a person with fundamentally good values, who has a couple of low-value habits, can work to become better/HV. But these are guys who are: Already mostly high value (ie., they only have one or two habits that make them low value, for example a kind/smart/hard-working man who smokes) They recognize and acknowledge the low-value trait without you pointing it out. They can articulate what they need to change and how they're going to do it. In most cases, they're still pretty young (I do belie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:35 PM |
| 25 | Chronicles of the Modern Day “Gold Digger”: It’s more than just the moneyThe guy I dated most seriously before my husband wants to be an actor. That's his dream and I respect him for pursuing it. In the meantime, he's an assistant manager at a Wendy's. He's not a bad guy, but we both have very different needs for financial security. We're not incompatible because he's not making much money: we're incompatible because we value different things. The money is just a symptom. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 12:25 PM |
| 91 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?Unfortunately, a lot of guys are getting the message from redpill dudes that basically, if a girl doesn't sleep with them on the first or second date, she's stringing him along/isn't interested/is just using him. Because obviously, to their mind, if you were REALLY into him, you would've fucked him in the bathroom after the game 🙄 Of course anyone who did that would immediately get labelled a slut (by these guys) and never considered for a relationship. Incidentally, the reason we preach vetting… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 02:14 PM |
| 190 | sea-lioning, and how to push back hardEhhhhhhhbhbbh I would argue: just don't answer. These people are never trying to converse in good faith. They don't need your time or attention. Just delete the message request and save yourself the time. "Pushing back hard" against stranger's on the internet is a waste of time. It's like you say, you can't win with these folks - so don't play at all. I do agree strongly that you need to find people who's issues you can live with though - my husband has flaws (just like I do!) but they don't mak… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 03:06 PM |
| 13 | The Men You Meet Giving Back: A GuideI'm sorry you've had those experiences - the people I've worked with "in the trenches" have all been exceedingly kind and giving people, many of whom volunteer because our organization helped them out and now they want to give back. We do have a handful of "characters" but you can generally see them coming a mile away. Although I will say common interest "not for profit" spaces (my husband and I met because we were part of the same NFP social dance club) are probably a better way to meet people … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 04:25 PM |
| 20 | The Men You Meet Giving Back: A GuideMy experience is that N/LVM are everywhere to be fair 🙃 but yes, you really have to look out for the people who will see you as an easy target because of your kind nature. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 04:22 PM |
| 30 | The Men You Meet Giving Back: A GuideYou aren't wrong, but I gotta say I prefer being the body on the ground - like you say, boards are often where the HV people go, but they're needed just as badly on the front lines. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 04:21 PM |
| 12 | The Men You Meet Giving Back: A GuideThank you! I understand how hard it is to find time to give back when you're busy, but so many women I know have managed it, I don't think it's outrageous to look for that in a partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 03:05 PM |
| 17 | The Men You Meet Giving Back: A GuideThank you! I thought it might be useful ☺️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 02:28 PM |
| 45 | The Men You Meet Giving Back: A GuideThank you - I'm also off the market, but I did think it was interesting to look around and see what kinds of dudes I was meeting while helping my community. Honestly the best part (after the satisfaction of helping) are the incredible women I've met! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 01:42 PM |
| 97 | Why I DON’T EXPLAIN. On boundaries, disappointment, and self-shielding: You don’t have to explain to an emotionally abusive man why he isn’t allowed to hurt you anymore.I'm sure someone has already said this, but also: Even IF (IF!!!) he somehow really didn't know his behaviour was toxic/rude/cruel/inappropriate, do you really want to be the one who has to teach him? Do you really want to do that labour on a grown man when you could either be happy and alone or with a guy who doesn't need it explained that ghosting you for three days is unacceptable? Even presuming the very best intentions on the part of these dudes (and let's be perfectly clear, they almost NE… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 12:24 PM |
| 22 | how men really feel about women centering themYuuuup - I'm pretty forgiving if someone is a little hard to reach in the first couple of weeks of a new romance (I get it, we've all been there) but my best friend in highschool literally stopped hanging out with me outside of class when she met her first serious boyfriend in like grade 11. I remember asking to hang out and the answer to every time/idea I proposed was "I'm seeing (boyfriend) then/I'm having dinner with (boyfriends) parents/I'm going to the mall with boyfriend". I remember that … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 03:18 PM |
| 5 | Is he an asshole or is it Aspergers?Ehhhhh man I don't know. I have a handful of friends on the autism spectrum. They are all kind, sweet, funny people. Do they have odd quirks and occasionally strange non-verbal behavior? Sure. Do they sometime monologue at me about Marvel for longer than is completely necessary? Also sure. But they don't leave me feeling disrespected, belittled or inferior. I love my neuro-divergent friends and to their credit they've done the work to use their diagnoses as information to help them rather than a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 06:02 PM |
| 359 | Don't cry, beg or show emotion or over communicate. State what you want then leave when it's not met. Men enjoy the begging, crying and emotional outbursts because they know this means you're wrapped around their finger and will stay. It is a massive ego boost for them to have that power over youMen who truly love you will absolutely care if you're upset, but the vast majority of men will not meet that bare minimum standard. Also, when you are with a HVM you will NEVER need to cry or beg for someone to treat you like a freaking person. I remember dating a guy who just didn't get why I was so upset to be treated like his fourth choice (after work, his friends, and his hobbies). I tried explaining it to him. I tried reasoning with him. I pointed out things that were so obvious to me, I co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 05:36 PM |
| 32 | If you broke just say that. If you’re insecure just say that. If you’re inadequate just say that. Men get on my damn nerves. One minute relationships should be 50/50. The next minute if we are too independent and have our shit together then we’re unqualified. Pick a damn struggle.Right? Men talking about "successful women end up alone because they can't find their equal" like that's not an embarassing reflection on the state of men 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 09:40 PM |
| 173 | If you broke just say that. If you’re insecure just say that. If you’re inadequate just say that. Men get on my damn nerves. One minute relationships should be 50/50. The next minute if we are too independent and have our shit together then we’re unqualified. Pick a damn struggle.Statistically, high-earning and highly-educated people are marrying other people who are high-earning and highly-educated. This is not some "female cope", it's a fact. Yes, some successful men are marrying hot 21 year olds, but the vast majority of people are marrying people who are similar to them in age and income. Harvard grads are marrying people who went to Yale. Doctors are marrying other doctors. And they're marrying people, for the most part, within 5 years of their age. Might it be "eas… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 02:28 PM |
| 21 | The Struggle Is Real...I know it's already been said, but the stats used to create this website are not great. Even the redpill subs this was initially posted to had some criticisms of his data analysis (although ofc most posters were gloating and overjoyed about how all women with standards will somehow die alone 🙄). Statically, men over 6 feet earn more than shorter men. Wealthier men are more likely to be of a healthy weight. Also, the percentage of men who meet these criteria vary so enormously by county/region th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 07:18 PM |
| 8 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)Thanks! He's really great! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 06:50 PM |
| 13 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)I hope you get all the support you need from this thread to get the hell out ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 06:50 PM |
| 14 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)Aw, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 04:53 PM |
| 39 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)It's amazing how light you feel after dumping the deadweight 😎 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 04:53 PM |
| 27 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 04:53 PM |
| 391 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)Oh my heart - this was hard to read, because I have absolutely been there. I think this is the kind of thing we need to see more of, because while overtly abusive, dangerous men do exists and you must absolutely guard against them, I think there are far more men out there who are just like this: boring, rude, selfish, gross, childish and "technically" functional, so they don't seem 'that bad'. This guy probably has friends who'd describe him as a great guy. He probably has colleagues that like h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 02:48 PM |
| 37 | 🎶Let's just dress up infidelity and terminal self-centeredness with trendy vocab!🎶I wonder how many people should really be getting therapy but are instead just like "oh no I'm fine, I'm just not interested in your heteronormative lifestyle". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 04:05 PM |
| 138 | 🎶Let's just dress up infidelity and terminal self-centeredness with trendy vocab!🎶Am I the only one who would find this just...very lonely? I already have lots of non-exclusive non-'primary' NON-SEXUAL relationships with people...they're called "friends", and its great, but I don't get into romantic relationships to have essentially the same experience but with fucking. Building a deep, lasting and EXCLUSIVE romantic partnership is really beautiful and important, but it is hard, and sometimes I feel like people just don't care enough to try. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 02:04 PM |
| 123 | If you could write your ex's Tinder profileMid-30s self-styled "cool asshole" who's deep and enduring fear of confrontation has prevented him from so much as calling the landlord for the past ten years. Doesn't believe in housework or foreplay. Micropeen. Great if you love being criticised. Quote: anything about his """""enormous""""" dong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 03:26 AM |
| 456 | Why you can’t take men seriously…Man, the jokes write themselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 07:32 PM |
| 16 | She found out her husband was cheating at 70 and kicked him out! Found love again are 73. Never stop vetting ladies! Do not settle for less.We Stan a queen 😍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 01:56 PM |
| 380 | "wait to have sex" labeled as "bad dating advice"...and all of the people in the comments applauding...EVEN IF the timing of sex doesn't change a relationship's ultimate course (and honestly that seems unlikely) waiting for sex is a good idea for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with sex. EVEN IF you feel comfortable having sex with someone on the first date, you probably shouldn't because they are LITERALLY A STRANGER. How you feel about sex is irrelevant - how do you feel about putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation for no reason? Dumb. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 07:24 PM |
| 28 | "All the good men are taken! They're all married by now!"Statistically, the more accomplished a person is (male or female) the older they will be at the time of their first marriage. The average age of a man with an advanced/professional degree, when he gets married, is like 34. The only thing you know about married men is that they were willing to get married. Great, terrible and everything in between: wanting to married (or being willing to get married if someone insists) is not a predictive characteristic of HV men. "All the good men" are not taken… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 09:27 PM |
| 42 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.Alright, unpopular comment time: I've been financially dependent on my husband for the last 16 months while I struggled with a new chronic illness. In that time we've continued to contribute to my savings and investments. I have $20k available if I need to walk away tomorrow that he has no access to. I have another ~100k in retirement savings that I could tap if I really needed to. I also own half our house, obviously. We have no shared credit instruments. I have friends and family I could call … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 02:45 PM |
| 80 | Does the quality of men you attract affect your self esteem?I think there are just a lot of crappy guys out there - I don't think you're doing anything specifically to attract them. If a lot of men are disappointing, inevitably you're going to get hit on by disappointing guys. That's just how numbers work. I've been hit on by gorgeous dudes, ugly dudes, smart dudes, idiots, a guy who opened with "I'm off drugs now", guys who were old enough to be my Dad and guys who were ten years younger. I'm friendly and outgoing so dudes just...talk at me. I don't tak… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 02:22 PM |
| 7 | Being single protects men from drama and politics, ladies. Leave them alone.I know very few single men who have loads of money lying around. Most of them blow so much cash on stupid shit, don't save, don't invest, and they aren't spending their time working out and bettering themselves. Conversely, all of the married men I know are healthier, wealthier and happier than the single guys 🧐 it's a myth that men thrive being single. A few do, most just collapse in on themselves like a forgotten potato. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 08:25 PM |
| 12 | Cars, driving, and HVM: another good testSafe, competent driving is so important to me. My husband is an excellent, confident and safe driver and I genuinely find it super hot. Some of my exes were okay drivers but wanted to show off. No, thank you. Others were safe but not very good at driving. It's such a basic skill and it matters to me to feel safe with someone. I will say though that I don't care about having my door opened. I do expect doors held for me going into or out of buildings and general consideration, but it's easier and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 08:14 PM |
| 2 | Tell us about the PickMe friend(s) you ditched!I'm thiiiiiis close to telling a very close friend to just shut up about the guys she "dates". She went man-free for a year or two and it was genuinely such a breath of fresh air but now she's back on her bullshit and I really can't anymore. She'll date men she knows are not good for her and then be totally destroyed/traumatized when they inevitably break up or when she breaks up with them. And she has no interest in listening to any good advice about leaving these people whom she herself acknow… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 01:37 PM |
| 5 | Another Breakup Survival TipLiterally nothing makes me happier than knowing something I've written is helping people. I'm so happy for you, even if this part sucks and is very hard. You're choosing YOU and that is wonderful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 04:22 PM |
| 15 | Love hearing about women leaving when they had enough! Saying no to couples counseling because she recognizes that there's nothing else she can possibly cOmMunIcaTe to himThis is so interesting to me, because yes, he's got ADHD and it is making things harder, but there is so so much he could do to make his wife's life better and he just...hasn't done it. He knows he needs meds to be productive, but just didn't prioritize taking them at home. He knows she's overwhelmed with housework, but hasn't bothered to find systems to take on some of that load or AT LEAST hire outside help. He knows she's overwhelmed with childcare but there's no mention of strategies to take… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 02:32 PM |
| 63 | Men that push for 50/50 still don’t realize that dating has become a ladies’ market in 2021, with Tinder being 78% male / 22% female and Bumble & Hinge being 65% male / 35% female. Men outnumber women 4-to-1 on Tinder and 3-to-1 on Bumble/Hinge.I mean, to an extent I understand the sentiment: if someone literally never texted first I would assume they were only talking to me out of convenience. But that's after I've gotten to know them - there should be balance in a relationship. In this case I suspect he means: why don't these girls on Tinder pursue me more? And honey it's because they have 1000 men who are more interesting pursuing them. They don't need to pursue you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 02:20 PM |
| 5 | What is it with men and being greedy and wanting open relationships?My second serious boyfriend used to talk about how he wanted an open relationship, but how it wouldn't be fair TO HIM, because obviously I would instantly get loads of attention (correct), so he kept trying to convince me that we should try opening the relationship but ONLY FOR HIM AT FIRST so that he could sleep with a couple of people and then it would be my turn (???) I was dumb back then but that was too much, even for me. I was like "either we both get to sleep around outside of this relati… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 01:15 AM |
| 25 | Falling in love should be a stress-free experience for youWe met at a mutual hobby many years ago and were friendly acquaintances for like a decade before we started dating. We got together in our late twenties and got married in our early thirties (just over three years from first date to wedding date). It was nice because he sort of came pre-vetted since we had a lot of friends in common (although this doesn't necessarily mean much - people can fake a lot!). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 01:36 AM |
| 75 | Falling in love should be a stress-free experience for youDating my husband was incredibly easy. Falling in love with my husband was incredibly easy. Being married to my husband is incredibly easy. No, neither one of us is perfect and we've both worked on our growth and communication, but even that has been (relatively) easy. My relationship with my husband is the easiest one I have in many ways. Maybe I'm just lazy, but when I see the amount of "work" some women put into their relationships, all I can think is "wow that sounds exhausting". The easines… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 09:41 PM |
| 41 | "Let's see where things go..."You are welcome! Whenever my female friends are sad about a guy I'm like "oh no how will you ever find another decent dick attached to a mediocre man OH NO" because genuinely if he's disappointing you I can guarantee you can find another one equally as disappointing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 11:04 PM |
| 189 | "Let's see where things go..."A man has never started off uncertain about me and ended up certain. Guys either want to be with you or they don't. "He has trauma, he has commitment issues, his parents blah blah blah" - I don't care. I don't care WHY a guy isn't sure about me, I just know that he is. He's not going to change and I'm not going to try to change him. My husband was extremely clear about his intentions from our, like, third date. I never once questioned if he was into me. I never had to ask where things were going… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 03:34 PM |
| 106 | For the men who complain about dead bedrooms, how does it feel to be the architect of you own misery?The problem with this advice is that the scrotes giving it don't realize that we don't think like them. Many men will date a woman they think is hot without actually liking her, and so they think we're doing the same thing. Sure, I've gone on a couple of dates with hot guys whom I'm not compatible with - but I don't know any women who would get into a relationship with a man she's ONLY physically attracted to, because we (rightfully) recognize that as super toxic. When men say "looks don't matte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 03:23 PM |
| 395 | Amazing response by a woman who was prepositioned by an LVM to be his side pieceMan, there was a time I would have given this type of man a sympathetic ear. I still would not have slept with him (I don't like to share), but I would have been so understanding! So nice! Poor man, what a hard situation to be in 🥺🥺🥺 I was really trusting and naive and I am so, so glad I grew out of this phase. If anyone tried this on me now I would just laugh and walk away. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 03:21 PM |
| 351 | Y’all do not be hating LVM enough for me.I think re-posting a stickied handbook post every week is a brilliant idea. Honestly I skip posts with screenshots of scrotes being scrotey and women responding. They don't seem to add a lot to the dialogue. I agree that hating on pickmes is just sad. Sure, you can choose to remove unhealthy women from your life, but nearly all of us have made bad choices in the past. I think we can afford each other a lot of grace here, so I try just generally to keep the hate to a minimum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 02:45 AM |
| 13 | The reason why men marry some women and not others. Warning! ⚠️ Long post.I think you can feel ready to commit after 6 months but know that reasonably it's a good idea to wait before you actually commit. I told my husband that he should marry me after 6 months (to be clear, I'm not recommending this!) and he was totally in agreement - like yeah, I'm going to marry you, but I want to live together and get engaged and all that first. He wasn't freaked out by the suggestion because he was on the same page. It took us just over three years from dating to marriage and that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 04:29 PM |
| 3 | Can’t older women just date older men?I'm late to the party but it's also worth pointing out some stats that make this harder: women live longer than men, and married men live longer than unmarried men, so as you get older, more and more of the men you meet are married. Also generally men who are serious about marriage get married before 35, so as you meet those older men (40+) the likelihood that they want marriage diminishes. Not saying it's impossible but those numbers do come into play. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/21 03:55 PM |
| 87 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?He called me high at three in the morning to tell me how magical the wind sounded. Then he made wind sounds on the phone to me. To share the magic. Not exactly a small flag but an extremely weird one. Another guy used to leave his cat's litterbox until it was disgusting and then act like it was this huge gross awful chore to clean it. It probably was (since he only did it like once a week). In retrospect he might have been trying to guilt me into doing it but I was too oblivious 😄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 01:44 AM |
| 34 | To dress up for dates or show up as you are?I have a lot of sympathy for all these feelings. So, first of all: I'm sorry you were treated so poorly. You didn't deserve that and your date was very rude. As for your question, I would say that it's worth it to dress up for a date (only as much as you are comfortable with/want to) for a number of reasons: It shows that you have put effort into the date and are excited about it (just as you would want a man to show up to a date looking nice). You'll feel more confident looking your best. You'l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 02:06 AM |
| 12 | No one inherently HV or LV. We are what we repeatedly do.Thank you! That's a wonderful way of describing exactly what I've been thinking and was trying to express. I've made LV choices in my past, but every day I choose to do better. My husband has made almost exclusively HV choices throughout his life - he is, very much, HV. However, if tomorrow he decides to be a LVM, I will see and acknowledge that without 1. insisting that he's still HV or 2. beating myself up for thinking he was HV for as long as he behaved that way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 09:32 PM |
| 40 | Arranged marriages fosters and breeds the most lowest value males humanly possibleThat's something (I guess), although I imagine it's very hard to enforce child support payments from someone who's left the country. My LV uncle definitely dated a local woman he met while teaching English overseas, but 1. never married her or got her pregnant and 2. sent money back to her and her family several times a year until he passed away. It was still weird (rich white man dating a younger, poor SEA woman, yeah okay, definitely no power imbalance there) but kudos to her because that year… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 06:36 PM |
| 59 | No one inherently HV or LV. We are what we repeatedly do.Yuuup - I think it's tempting to subscribe to an "end of history" fallacy: whatever I'm experiencing now is how it's always going to be. There isn't an end point and HV isn't something you do once and check off a box. It's a continuous process and one that CAN be reversed. Don't convince yourself that "oh I found a good man, the end". You have to keep your eyes open and keep prioritizing your happiness, just like you say. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 06:31 PM |
| 38 | No one inherently HV or LV. We are what we repeatedly do.That's exactly what I'm saying - too many people are like "how could I have missed what a terrible guy he is??" Well if he was behaving up until then you really had no way 🤷 Of course you should still reflect and see if there were any red flags/signs you missed, but ultimately it's impossible to always make the right choices. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 06:29 PM |
| 40 | No one inherently HV or LV. We are what we repeatedly do.Also beware labelling people as HV - not just prematurely but in general, because people can change. We are not static and our behaviours aren't set in stone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 05:49 PM |
| 50 | No one inherently HV or LV. We are what we repeatedly do.I wouldn't say that I'm trying to excuse LV behaviour - more that I'm encouraging women not to beat themselves up for not "seeing" that a man is LV when he isn't behaving that way. If your husband was good to you up until he wasn't, then it's not your fault for assuming he's HV. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 03:57 PM |
| 116 | Arranged marriages fosters and breeds the most lowest value males humanly possibleI cannot think of a lower-value thing to do than deliberately dating people of low SES, getting them pregnant and then leaving. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 02:46 PM |
| 410 | Arranged marriages fosters and breeds the most lowest value males humanly possibleThank you so much for this comment - I think it's too easy for Westerners to forget what the rest of the world is like. I'm glad you recognize what's going on and can criticize it so astutely! Hopefully that will help you (although I know family pressure can be insane). Terrifying to think how much lazier our men would be if they knew they'd have a young, dependent wife shipped to them when they were ready 😬 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 12:50 PM |
| 2 | Men will date/marry women they aren’t even attracted to/like, if their appearance brings them status.I'm your age and I very much agree! I'm bottom heavy and I used to wear padded bras and try to "camouflage" my big butt in hopes of balancing my proportions (I knew I wasn't going to be skinny but I figured I could at least fake some boobs). I often felt like a giant/too big but I also kind of liked it: there was something powerful in looking at the tiny, skinny girls who would try to bully me and thinking "honey I could snap you like a twig". Now big butts/heavier thighs and smaller boobs are i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 12:31 PM |
| 29 | Just broke up with a LVM and have FDS to thankI don't consider being a virgin at 25 or having his first serious relationship at 27 red flags (but definitely yellow). Although yes, obviously losing your virginity to a prostitute is a GLARING red flag. I think it would depend a lot of why someone hadn't gotten into a serious relationship or had sex until later. Were they religious? Did they know they'd be moving a lot over their twenties and so wanted to wait until they were stable to get into a serious relationship? Those are all perfectly f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 01:47 AM |
| 49 | How do you feel when people say “ a man needs to feel needed”?I'm going to be a bit of a dissenting voice here if you'll allow me. I think everyone, man and woman, enjoy feeling "needed": like they are a contributing and valuable member of the partnership, and that their world/relationship would not be nearly as good or as satisfying without them. HV people express this by seeking to add value to relationships, whether they're romantic or platonic. My husband "needs" me and I "need" him - not the way I need oxygen or housing or anything, and sure we'd both… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 02:20 PM |
| 7 | Objective vs Subjective: Make sure he meets your needs, not just your standards.Awww! Thank you so much. That means a lot to hear that people are benefitting from this post 😊 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/21 01:06 AM |
| 21 | Objective vs Subjective: Make sure he meets your needs, not just your standards.Precisely: we learn what works best for us to maximize our chances of compatibility. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 06:27 PM |
| 8 | Objective vs Subjective: Make sure he meets your needs, not just your standards.Those are great points, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 06:25 PM |
| 33 | Objective vs Subjective: Make sure he meets your needs, not just your standards.Also, for any male lurkers: I am not claiming that men without education, who are not attractive or who are financially insecure are bad people. I have wonderful people in my life who are all of those things. Nor am I claiming that, for example, a man without an education must be ignorant or that a low-earning man must be poor. There are brilliant people at all levels of education and men who are wealthier making 60k a year because they manage their finances well then men making twice that. Howe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 06:23 PM |
| 88 | Dealing with embarrassment after dating poorlyForgiving yourself for your past mistakes isn't easy but it is necessary. I've dated some embarassing men but I always just remember that it was a learning experience and it could have been so much worse - I could have dates them longer, hell we could have gotten married. But at least I learned! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 04:58 PM |
| 66 | Objective vs Subjective: Make sure he meets your needs, not just your standards.Yeeeeep. Whether it's "shallow" or not, no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn't attracted to them, or vice versa. It sucks! It sucks to feel unattractive or inadequate. To be fair, if your standard is "I will only date Chris Hemsworth. No, not someone who looks like him, literally only him" then sure maybe you need to re-evaluate 😄 but most of us just want someone we can look at and go "oh nice yes would smash" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 04:55 PM |
| 6 | Ladies: have you ever had a successful walk, coffee, or drink date with a HVM?I think if you are walking to something or for a purpose it can work. Like if you know I like art and we go on a walk around all the art galleries in the neighborhood? That's fine. But if we just go for a walk to...nowhere? Yeah no I'm good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 12:37 PM |
| 44 | The lack of attractive men out there is so dishearteningI know a surprising number of very attractive men but they are all married. Some of whom are also incredibly kind and thoughtful people! It's amazing how many of the hot guys from my past are now ugly. I'm not even that picky physically but the number of guys who've let themselves go is astounding. And it also shocks me how unattractive my single guy friends are. Admittedly, lots of the women I went to highschool with have also kind of turned into lumps, but so many of the women I meet all the t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 11:30 PM |
| 279 | I can't believe this is the kind of advice that's out there 🙄Big Pickme energy from the advice columnist | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 08:10 PM |
| 1 | How to deal with the "Hey beautiful, thinking about you, Can we talk? " text that toxic scrotes send. It's a trap!Yeah I'm like if someone asks 'can we talk' you just say "no" (and of course block and delete works too). I remember I dated a guy for like 3-4 months who wanted to "meet up and get closure" after we dated and I was just like "actually I really don't want to do that, so no". I felt kind of bad but like...it was a couple of months. He lived 🤷 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 07:47 PM |
| 1 | Jesus wept (photo not mine)I was confused when I saw this initially because the clit is so easy to find, so I was like "I too would be confused if someone was impressed because I could find the clit". It never occurred to me that someone just...wouldn't know what a clit was. Just, heartbreaking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 07:34 PM |
| 2 | The OP thought the whole event was "funny." I call it the troubling journey of a Pick Me.Quick FDS test: where in this story do you say "no thanks"? My opinion is the moment he changes "dinner and drinks" to "meet me and my colleague for drinks". That's an immediate 'nope' for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 07:26 PM |
| 1 | It’s the small things that make you realize he’s HVMWhen it rains while we're out driving, my husband backs the car right up to our step so I can literally step out of the car and into the house when we get back. Then he pulls forward and straightens out, since he can't get out of the car from that far back. Or if we're leaving the house and it's raining, be runs outside to bring the car closer so I don't get wet. He also starts the car in the winter so it's warm when I get in, and always goes out early to clean it off before we leave. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 07:22 PM |
| 4 | MYTH: Marriage is NOT hard. The media should stop glamorizing their abusive relationship.This is so weird to me. Are there hard moments in my marriage? Of course. Neither my husband nor I are perfect and sometimes we make mistakes But overall, my marriage is a thousand times easier than any other relationship I've ever had. My relationship with my husband was overall easier than any other relationship from the very start. That's part of why I married him. Sure, marriage has hard times. But overall, marriage makes your life easier. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 07:01 PM |
| 28 | Thoughts on Building With A ManAbsolutely. Luckily it's never come up - but nooooo thank you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 10:20 PM |
| 156 | Thoughts on Building With A ManHonestly, I don't mind the idea of building concurrently with a man: you have your business, I have mine, and we're both striving to be the best we can be. I say this primarily for younger women: if you meet a man in your mid-twenties, you will almost certainly both be building (and working towards) greater things. But I certainly wouldn't build WITH a man, meaning, I wouldn't tie my success to him. It's just too risky: even if your relationship succeeds, if the business fails you're both broke.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 10:07 PM |
| 137 | How do you avoid turning into a LVW when you’re at a point where you want to start a family?Here's the thing: you cannot control whether you find someone to have kids with. You can only control your own behaviour. How do you avoid becoming a LVW when you want kids/a traditional family? You decide that having those things is less important than maintaining your standards and boundaries. You remind yourself that you will be much more miserable if you settle for a LVM just to have a family than if you stay alone. Does this mean you may end up unmarried and childless, if you don't want to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 06:37 PM |
| 42 | More important than a man is slaying it in your career, money, and friendshipsYou will never regret investing in yourself. It is entirely possible you will regret investing in a man who doesn't deserve you (and remember, most of them don't). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 03:34 PM |
| 15 | Men benefit from women romanticizing marriage through the lens of unconditional loveSo true. There really are so many non-monetary ways to express love, but most men simply don't do them. Picking up medicine and soup when you're sick, watching your animals when you're out of town, driving you to appointments, building or fixing something for you: these are all lovely, and I appreciate them when I experience them. But honestly, the men (well, mostly just my husband) who did these things? They ALSO did not begrudge me financial gifts - nice dinners out, lovely gifts, etc. I'm not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/21 03:22 PM |
| 5 | Always keep your coins snatchedEhhhhhhhh this is an oversimplification, honestly. Best to talk to a lawyer and get a pre-nup in place as well as looking into the specific laws in your state and country. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/21 03:11 PM |
| 55 | Why do so many women still want to get married?So, that 50% statistic is not really accurate. Couples where both partners have no more than a high school education tend to have a higher than 50% divorce rate, and couples where both have advanced post-secondary education (ie., MD, JD) have something like a 25% divorce rate. Essential, the best predictor of divorce is poverty. Honestly, I wanted to get married for a lot of reasons, but the main ones were security and children. Divorces happen but they're less likely than breakups, and I wanted… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 08:52 PM |
| 9 | Vet his family! for yourself and your (potential) future kids.My ex's Dad was homophobic and literally said that we should kill all doctors because they perform abortions 🙃 Whatever your feelings on abortion, that's just a stupid sentiment: most doctors don't even know how to perform abortions. You think your cardiologist could just roll up and whip out an abortion? Please. His brother was also homophobic but added a little racism into the mix because he truly believed anyone not-white was inferior. Sometimes I imagine what my life would have been like if … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 01:45 PM |
| 1 | Skip the date rape and just move in. These scrotes actually believe porn can be reality while they capitalize on sky high rent prices and openly take advantage of naive young women. He's even gleefully admitting to not having thought the situation through. Wow.Toronto is one of those cities that is as fun as the people you're there to visit, in my opinion. Genuinely if you've never been and you have good friends you can have a lot of fun 🙂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/21 05:08 PM |
| 26 | Skip the date rape and just move in. These scrotes actually believe porn can be reality while they capitalize on sky high rent prices and openly take advantage of naive young women. He's even gleefully admitting to not having thought the situation through. Wow.Ehhhhhh I mean Toronto is a big city with plenty of different type of people in it (and super diverse), so I hesitate to dismiss it outright. But Finance guys specifically are famous for not being great: they're in a career that rewards NOT having social connections, pays then well right out of university but also demands an ongodly amount of work, and they end up feeling like big shots without having the incentive (or time) to develop a lot of empathy. I have also had friends talk about the mat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 11:17 AM |
| 41 | Skip the date rape and just move in. These scrotes actually believe porn can be reality while they capitalize on sky high rent prices and openly take advantage of naive young women. He's even gleefully admitting to not having thought the situation through. Wow.This is very on-brand for a Toronto finance guy 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 03:13 AM |
| 88 | What is it about video games that I, and many others, find so repulsive?Gaming is a great way to feel accomplished while taking no risks. It's a turnoff because you haven't actually done anything - you've learned nothing new, produced nothing valuable, and you haven't improved as a person. Videogames are ultimately a waste of time, and while everyone should unwind sometimes, they are an extremely unimpressive hobby. They are also addictive, and in my experience men who are 'gamers' use the feeling of achievement they get in videogames to avoid the reality of their l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 08:25 PM |
| 9 | What is FDS's stance on dating men who work in really competitive fields where only the most successful people earn a decent amount or loads of money?So, two things. This is really only tangentially related, but I think it's important not to equate financially responsible with rich/wealthy. You can be financially responsible on an average salary and build a secure, happy and fulfilling life. Alternatively, you can be a big shot with lots of income and totally broke because you're dumb with money. You'll be much happier with a responsible man earning 60k than an irresponsible man earning 200k. As to your question, specifically: high risk/high … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 04:38 PM |
| 231 | Pickmes move like they are the exception and not the ruleHere's the thing: pretty much every guy will happily sleep with you on the first date. Good guys will do it because they like you, they're having fun and you're sexy. Not-so-good guys will do it because you're available, and better than nobody. But a good guy who actually likes you and thinks you're fun and interesting will ALSO wait for sex, because he enjoys you beyond your physical body. A LVM will not, because he only values you (barely) for one thing. Waiting to sleep with a man will not fo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 04:18 PM |
| 6 | Why is it the most hideous men that are Ethically Non Monogamous (ENM)?Naw, the women (and men) that he dates definitely see other people. It's polyamory because he's openly dating more than one person with the understanding that it will never progress to the monogamous, moving in together stage. I wouldn't do it but it seems to work for them 🤷 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 10:59 AM |
| 28 | Have you ever truly felt immediate "sparks", or was it just lovebombing/emotional vulnerability on your part?I've had butterflies before. Most of those men were decent people, some were vaguely crappy. The sex was sometimes great, and sometimes pretty disappointing. Getting butterflies instantly was a lot of fun, but none of those men are in my life any longer. When I met my husband, I did not get instant butterflies. Like you, I definitely thought he was hot and I liked spending time with him, but I didn't get that intense infatuation. I DID like him, though, even if I wasn't immediately crazy about h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 10:43 PM |
| 19 | Why is it the most hideous men that are Ethically Non Monogamous (ENM)?I have one extremely hot friend who is polyamorous. Admittedly, he's also neuro-divergent and has a number of things going on that he himself knows make him not a good, monogamous partner. He's very open and honest about this and doesn't use it as a weird excuse to build a harem, so I can't really fault him for it. But otherwise: YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 10:32 PM |
| 16 | Submit your Handbook Recs!Aw thank you! I'm glad you liked it 😊 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 10:22 PM |
| 3 | Do not have a scarcity mindset in datingThis is an excellent summary and really reflects my feelings - I don't see 'HVM are rare' as a scarcity issue, I see it as reality and an important thing to keep in mind when vetting. Most guys you meet won't be high value, so don't immediately jump to that conclusion! Most guys you meet won't be compatible with you, even if you do everything in your power to be a HVW. I'm not suggesting that you abandon all responsibility for yourself, your behaviour and your success in relationships (we have t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/21 03:12 PM |
| 6 | As a woman all you can do is create the oppurtunity for the guy to make his move.In my experience, even if they're in "the middle of nowhere", men will text you before and after specifically because they don't want you to wonder - because they're thinking about you and wouldn't want YOU to disappear for two weeks. My husband works for the government and when we were dating he had a high-level all-day meeting where he wasn't allowed to bring his phone - literally had to hand it over at the door at 8 AM. He told me a couple of days before and then reminded me that morning, jus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/21 03:03 PM |
| 5 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildThank you so much - I do hope it's useful for you! But it's also totally understandable to send out those "leave me alone" vibes! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 12:44 AM |
| 16 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildI'm not an expert in FDS, although I have been around and contributed a fair bit. I think the problem is that women are too friendly with men and make it too easy on them; they don't just make small talk, they literally follow the guys around a room, offer their number/snap unsolicited, add guys to their socials, and literally ask guys out. All of these things are recipes for disaster, but just indicating a general openness to being approached works fine (in my experience). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 07:52 PM |
| 21 | My colleague (27M) fasts almost all day so he doesn't have to cookMy friend's Mom has to cook all the meals for her Dad (other than like... cereal) if she goes away to visit her family for a week, otherwise he will just eat out every day until she gets home, at least one, maybe two meals a day. He has already had two heart attacks. He also can't do laundry. He's literally the best example of a NVM I have ever met. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 02:51 PM |
| 12 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildOh I like that! I think you're right - if you really don't have any curiosity about things other people love, you probably aren't ready for a relationship anyway. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 11:26 AM |
| 52 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildI agree 100% with this - in my experience, men who cold-approach me are classic fuckbois and absolutely not men I want to talk to. Most good men just do not want to bother women and will go out of their way to avoid it, even if you're cute and smiling at him. So being able to chat a little opens the floor for him - and as long as you don't pursue beyond that, it seems to work fine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 11:16 AM |
| 38 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildI sometimes think it's most useful as something you do mostly in platonic situations; being able to naturally strike up a conversation with someone is really handy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 02:34 AM |
| 16 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildI love that energy! That is amazing. I have so much respect for the Ice Queen (as some of my best friends can be described that way). It absolutely works if you can pull it off - when I try that it just falls flat, and actually comes across as more desperate since it's so obviously an act. That said, I was very confident, direct and almost...rude?...to my husband when we first started dating, and honestly he loved it 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 02:26 AM |
| 35 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildThat's fair - I'm definitely careful about who and where I do this now, because I really don't want to give guys the wrong idea. But extraversion is like a muscle in many ways and it does become more relaxed and authentic the more you do it. Obviously if you don't want to talk to men, definitely do not. Even just going where more people are will help, and expanding your circle in general may pay off eventually. But I've never had a bad experience giving a guy an opener, as long as I didn't do an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 02:15 AM |
| 45 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildThose are great points and all perfectly reasonable objections. For me, this comes very naturally - I will do this with anyone who generally looks friendly in my vicinity, man, woman or child. I don't find it comes across as awkward or obvious as long as its incredibly inoccuous, very brief and actually something you care about or are interested in. If you're just looking for some kind of excuse, of any kind, to try to strike up a conversation with a guy you think is hot, it often is obvious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 01:59 AM |
| 64 | What's the most high-confidence, low-skill thing a LV date's tried to do for/to you?He had a van, and that was pretty much his whole personality. So I think he wanted to offer to do something nice for me, and that was literally the only thing he could think of. Honestly a good dude though, just kinda bungled that one 😜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 10:53 PM |
| 194 | What's the most high-confidence, low-skill thing a LV date's tried to do for/to you?Men trynna put my IKEA furniture together but they can't read the instructions 😃 But I think my favourite was a guy who I met once who then offered to help me move. I...wasn't moving. He literally said "oh I can help you move" unsolicited. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 10:30 PM |
| 36 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces.I'm kind of thrilled about it, tbh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 12:19 AM |
| 19 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces.I've got a couple of chat requests that I haven't even looked at - if I had a way to delete them entirely without even reading the first line, I would. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 12:08 AM |
| 95 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces.Most of the men I've met are just terrified of all confrontation, I have no idea what it's about. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 04:25 PM |
| 327 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces....your ex doesn't understand how lawyers work, does he? Glad you're rid of that dim bulb. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 03:16 PM |
| 148 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces.Exactly - men have to put up with someone who's occasionally a nag and in return they get their children raised, their houses cleaned and their livelihood subsidized. Why would they ever leave?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 03:09 PM |
| 303 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces.It's always hilarious to me when men complain that she took half "his" assets - how are these marital assets 'yours'? Either you both contributed to them because you both work and brought in an income, or she stayed home to raise your kids and clean up after you, ALLOWING you to save money on all kinds of services and focus on your work. Unless she's part of the tiny minority of women who literally do nothing (and yes gents, I know these women do exist, but stop pretending that they're common) t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 03:06 PM |
| 551 | OF COURSE women initiate 80% of divorces.Right? "Women initiate 80% of divorces" yeah well men commit 90% of spousal murders so here we are | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 03:03 PM |
| 11 | There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being high maintenance.I'm high maintenance? So is Disneyland and everyone wants to go there. If you prefer a county fair go ahead, get your yeehaw on. But there's nothing wrong with preferring rollercoasters to tractor pulls. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 12:16 PM |
| 10 | I am so glad I didn’t end up with any of the losers I pined over in my pickme yearsIt can be hard to catch at first but it's so toxic in the long run. My ex was charming and smart, so he never had to work hard and had never failed at anything until he got to be an adult. Needless to say he collapsed in the face of any obstacle he couldn't charm his way through, and was incapable of imagining that other people might struggle. He seemed HV too, but it would have been hell. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 11:47 AM |
| 125 | I am so glad I didn’t end up with any of the losers I pined over in my pickme yearsI was seriously dating a man before I met my husband. We were talking about buying a house together, and I really thought he was 'it'. He dumped me because he missed casual sex 🙄 At the time I was devastated, but my God I am so, so relieved that we broke up. His family was toxic and he was lazy and lacked empathy. My life is so much better in literally every way that it's hard to fathom sometimes. I'm glad he dumped me to be a fuckboi, because trying to make a marriage work with him would have b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 06:50 PM |
| 24 | Sis, runI am pretty sure they aren't married, so in all likelihood anything in his name would remain his if they split up. She's subsidizing his future at the expense of her present. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:48 PM |
| 45 | Sis, runGuys like this are so selfish. And she's letting him get away with it. This man is using this woman as a wage subsidy - guarantee he wouldn't be putting away this much towards retirement if she weren't picking up half the bills. Since they are not married, everything in that 401k will (likely) remain his should they split up. She's getting a whiny selfish roommate and he's building wealth that he's hoping to never have to share. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:46 PM |
| 9 | Ladies NEVER ignore your instincts or dealbreakers. Here’s yet another scrote having broken a woman’s heart after stringing her along for a year.It takes so long to really, truly understand that you don't need to communicate better or somehow "make" a man "understand" your needs - they just. don't. care. We have a tendency to give men the benefit of the doubt - "oh, I'll just tell him that I need X and Y" - because when we're dating a man we would listen to that! If a man told us he needed certain support, we would give it to him! So we think men operate the same way. Well, they don't. Guys know what you need to feel happy and safe and l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 02:09 AM |
| 8 | Dating Strategy: Is a Partner dance school or Dance circle the right thing for you?I met my husband social dancing! Some further points: There are often community groups that will run a dance night (swing/salsa/tango etc) with a nominal entrance fee. They will often also provide a beginner lesson at the start! But, you will have more fun if you take formal lessons. Many universities run dance clubs. Groups can skew very young or very old depending on the city/dance-style/group. The ratio is often worse than two to one women vs men. There are some weirdos for sure - a lot of gu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/21 11:24 PM |
| 8 | Dating Strategy: Is a Partner dance school or Dance circle the right thing for you?If you don't actually enjoy dancing, then sure, you're essentially paying to meet people. If you enjoy dancing, then you're paying to learn a hobby. That is a very basic difference. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/21 11:14 PM |
| 10 | Stop worrying about the existence of HVM: Some strategiesThere is also something to be said for mindfulness: approach situations ready to be delighted, rather than resenting that you don't have a partner to share them with. Think about the things you love and do them without a man. Do not do things because you think it would be a good way to meet guys: always do things for their own sake, and make an effort to be fully present and take joy in the experience. Remember, when you were a child you didn't need a guy around to fully enjoy a moment: you knew… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 03:23 PM |
| 15 | LVM and Cats: The “Low Maintenance” MythI just recently gave one of my friends a LOT of shit because he doesn't take his cat to the vet for regular checkups. "He doesn't need shots, he's an indoor cat" - oh right! Indoor cats NEVER get out and it's not like mice or other wild animals ever get in! SILLY ME. "His behaviour hasn't changed!" - yeah, behaviour changes usually happen once something has progressed passed the initial phase; if you catch it early it will be cheaper to fix! "But he hates going into the crate!" - too bad buddy, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 03:13 PM |
| 10 | 🚨Vetting Strategy: Watch how a man drivesOther red flags: do they constantly make comments about your driving, specifically because they feel you aren't being "assertive" (ie., Aggressive) enough? Do they insist on telling you information about your car (that you didn't ask for and that is probably incorrect?) Do they have a history of at-fault accidents? If you are a relatively new driver, are they supportive/helpful or do they belittle you or otherwise undermine your confidence? Do they refuse to get a driver's license? I know that s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 02:59 PM |
| 82 | Don't put men on a pedestalAlso, a man with any HV traits will resent you putting him on a pedestal because 1. He knows he isn't perfect and he will lose respect for someone who isn't smart enough to see that, and 2. He wants a partner, not a worshiper. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 11:19 AM |
| 7 | Another example of how men will only be decent to women they find attractiveOne of my exes got so mad because I commented on a mutual friends social media post about the soup he made, and so this mutual friend sent me some soup. The ex was literally like "woooow it must be SO HARD being a PRETTY GIRL oh jeez look at you suffer". ...it was soup. And maybe, if my ex hadn't been such a turd, someone would've offered to make give him soup too 🙃 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/21 05:41 PM |
| 34 | How do you dress at home when living with an SO? Do you feel pressured to dress for his “male gaze.” Does he complain or suggest things? Y’alls experience?Whatever the fuck I want 😂 I've actually joked with my husband because he always looks really nice and half the time I'm wearing fuzzy PJ bottoms and a sweater that's 3 sizes too big, and he's like "you look cute and comfortable! Also who cares, it's your house??" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/21 07:53 PM |
| 6 | Any man who dismisses your physical discomfort is trash.I had an ex who would argue with me that I 'shouldn't' be cold because 'its not actually cold out', as if my SENSE OF TEMPERATURE WAS SOMEHOW IRRATIONAL. Why did I not walk out the minute it happened remains a mystery, but my husband is the absolute opposite and it's so much better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 09:25 PM |
| 16 | Don't over-complicate your relationships: if a relationship is not making you feel good majority of the time, it's time to leave.You may struggle DURING your relationship (because of the death of a family member, a layoff, new baby, friend drama, house troubles, kid issues, WHATEVER) but you should not struggle consistently BECAUSE of your relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 09:19 PM |
| 42 | Most men have bad taste. Don't lose yourself or your uniqueness trying to conform to it Chances are, the male gaze is not your aesthetic.It was so weird! And really upsetting, like, it feels bad to know that someone was into you right up until they actually got to know you. I used to wonder if there was something really wrong with me, and while there is stuff that I've had to deal with via therapy, none of these guys even knew me well enough for those things to come into play! It was literally like I didn't like the right bands, didn't have the right hobbies, and in many cases I was very honest and open and I think they wanted a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 03:43 PM |
| 70 | Why is it that women get shamed for being "gold diggers" (even though they aren't) but men can get away with using women so much? Answer: Patriarchy.Soul Digger. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 01:34 PM |
| 142 | Most men have bad taste. Don't lose yourself or your uniqueness trying to conform to it Chances are, the male gaze is not your aesthetic.Man, this is so true, and I say this as a extremely generic-looking conventionally attractive woman. Like, I look like a mid-aughts Sears model unless I deliberately try to play up my weirdness, and although I love who I am, it's a lot easier and takes a lot less effort to look like a woman in a Sears catalogue. And dudes love it!! Right up until they actually got to know me, and when I didn't match whatever fantasy they had projected onto my bland good looks BOY did they get annoyed and lose in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 01:30 PM |
| 25 | DO NOT fall for a man claiming to be "traditional".I read the most interesting article about "tradcon" women and basically the point the author was making was that these women see the violence and hate and general shit that women live with and they hope that by being "good", they can get a man to protect them from other men. Like, if I just manage to be exactly the right kind of woman I will protected from all the violence and garbage in the world. Obviously it does not work, but I understand why the belief would be very seductive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 01:27 AM |
| 10 | More Dad Bod Cope: Babies have tiny little weak arms and you’re supposed to use your big strong arms to support them, not let them hang on for dear life from your gutThat's fair, I know like...one guy who has a (moderate) beer belly but also does powerlifting and a decent number of guys with, like, little baby beer bellies who are still pretty muscular? But you're right, I have never met a man with one of those enormous distended pregnant-with-sextuplets bellies who had any muscle definition anywhere. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 03:22 PM |
| 16 | More Dad Bod Cope: Babies have tiny little weak arms and you’re supposed to use your big strong arms to support them, not let them hang on for dear life from your gutYeah, I prefer a man who is fit and healthy but I don't really care about six-pack abs. A little extra (like 10 lbs overweight) doesn't phase me at all, but these ENORMOUS beer bellies and no muscle anywhere...yikes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 12:30 PM |
| 46 | More Dad Bod Cope: Babies have tiny little weak arms and you’re supposed to use your big strong arms to support them, not let them hang on for dear life from your gut...you can be muscular and have a beer belly though? You can have muscular legs, shoulders, chest and arms, and still have some visceral fat. That's not actually fatlogic. Fatlogic is claiming your beer belly is "all muscle" or insisting that you're in "great shape" despite your visceral fat. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 12:28 PM |
| 36 | It's just a myth that attractive people have terrible personalitiesMy only complaint about handsome guys is that unless they had an awkward phase or something they can lack empathy. I'm thinking specifically about an ex who was super hot and very talented and charming, but very entitled and a bit arrogant because he never had to work for anything. Most people liked him immediately because he was good looking, and so he basically assumed everyone went through life having doors magically opened for them....whenever someone would struggle he would basically act li… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 12:18 PM |
| 10 | Tell me about the HV people in your livesI have a friend like that; he does a charity drive every year for our local children's hospital, volunteers with kids, works out, owns his own home, succesful at work and dedicated to his side hustle, close to his family...just an all-around great person. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 02:03 PM |
| 31 | “You deserve it.”Maaaan I just had flashbacks to an ex who would get jealous and petty whenever anybody did something nice for me. Definitely would have made fun of me for being a "demanding princess" if I happened to want to live in anything but a squalid tenement. Good riddance. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 08:03 PM |
| 9 | What's with all the stupid guys?Also, can you not maintain friendships outside of work? Like...you can see these people elsewhere. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 07:58 PM |
| 11 | What's with all the stupid guys?The thing that always shocked me was the number of men who were satisfied with being absolutely mediocre at everything. Like, shitty job that barely pays 30k a year, but your friends work there? Cool stick around for 10 years. Outdated, overpriced apartment with broken appliances? Cool live there for 5-10 years. Also, never call the landlord to complain about anything because you're unable to handle literally the faintest whiff of confrontation. Credit card debt? Student loan debt? Pay it off su… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 06:57 PM |
| 44 | The myth that young women will lust after 45 year old men in their apparent ‘peak earning potential’ 🤪It's interesting because even now (and when I was younger, even more so) I wasn't attracted to older men, even VERY attractive ones (unless they legit looked 10 years younger, like the Japanese model I used to work with 😂). Like even actually attractive men at that age (and bless them, there are so few) still looked and felt way too old. At best I'd be like "well, hasn't he aged well, somebody's Dad takes care of himself". No sexual desire at all. Now that I'm in my mid-thirties the line for 'ju… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 06:46 PM |
| 43 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalI am definitely interested in people's relationships as part of the fabric of their lives, but not as like a sorting mechanism where married folks somehow "win" and single people are losers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 07:04 PM |
| 63 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalMost of the older women in my family are single and they all lead great lives travelling the world (pre-COVID) and doing pretty much whatever they want all the time 🤷 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 07:03 PM |
| 39 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalMy current purse was free at a clothing swap and I'm pretty sure it was originally from Walmart, and your know what? Great purse 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 07:02 PM |
| 95 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalI also don't understand our weird fear of dying alone. Unless you're in, like, a bad car accident, MOST PEOPLE die alone. That's perfectly normal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 06:59 PM |
| 22 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalThat is wonderful! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 06:58 PM |
| 41 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalThanks! I was trying to understand why people get so worked up about this (especially people who, like I said, may genuinely mean well) and I think it really has to do with how you understand the place/role of men within a woman's life. I think especially of older women for whom getting married really was not optional (I mean women in most western countries couldn't even get a bank account until the 60s/70s) so I can understand where that very real fear comes from. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 06:49 PM |
| 17 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalThis is hilarious 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 06:37 PM |
| 134 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalI mean my analogy breaks down when you think of how useful and timeless a good purse is and then you meet most men. Like my shittiest purse has been way more of an asset then most of my exes 🤷 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 06:29 PM |
| 9 | On the myth that your 20s are when you have the most options with HVM.In the US, the more education someone has, the longer they will wait to marry. You can look up the exact ages, but for men with a high-school diploma the average age of first marriage is something like 22. For a man with an advanced degree, it's 34/35. And the women they are marrying are similar in age - something like 20 & 33. Not all men with advanced degrees are high value, of course, but it is something many of us would value. But to imagine that you've "missed" all the high value men becaus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 05:47 PM |
| 25 | What’s the most embarrassing pick-me thing you’ve ever done?!??? 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏾♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏿♀️🙋🏼♀️I called in sick to work to unpack a man's apartment for him while he was at his job 🙃🙃😀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/21 03:26 PM |
| 7 | What are your dealbreakers in terms of looks?For me it's teeth and chin - if a man doesn't have a good strong jaw and a nice smile I am out 10 times on 10. Don't really care about height or hair but when a man's face just kinda...melts into his neck? I'm out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 01:05 AM |
| 68 | I’m feeling so jaded after getting out of my last relationship and finding this sub. Can I hear about the HVM in your lives? I need to know they’re still out there.I tell this story every time a poster asks for HVM stories, because it still gets me whenever I think about it. Several of my family members are alcoholics. I decided I wanted to check out Al-Anon (family support for alcoholics) and I asked my husband to come with me. He immediately agreed, despite being a "strong silent type" with no alcohol issues in his own family. A few minutes later I remembered that he wanted to go to the gym the same night as Al-Anon, so I backtracked and told him he didn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 07:07 PM |
| 104 | Green/red flags when dating as a single mother?Beware the man who wants to meet your children immediately; he's trying to use them to build false intimacy with you. Related, beware the man who refuses to meet your children/seems wildly resistant even after months. He doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want the guilt of getting the kids involved. Beware the man who has no children but has a million opinions about how you raise yours. Beware the man who "doesn't usually date single moms" (why does he need to tell you this? And why is th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 06:57 PM |
| 15 | It's okay to be sad that you're singleIt's so true: we forget how much of a life we had before men! It can feel so hard to build a happily single life because so much of our lives have been built around men and partnering. Sure, a healthy relationship is lovely, but it is only one small part of life: how did it become so central?? When did we let men and romantic love become the ONLY things that really mattered? Nonsense. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 12:22 PM |
| 12 | It's okay to be sad that you're singleYes! There can be this temptation to almost force ourselves to be 100% okay all the time, as if any weakness is some kind of personal failure. But it isn't: we're human! We're going to have moments of weakness! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 12:15 PM |
| 8 | It's okay to be sad that you're singleThis is so true, and that non-judgement is so important - you aren't weak ie bad or a failure for having these thoughts! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 12:13 PM |
| 14 | It's okay to be sad that you're singleYeah! But it's also important to be kind to yourself when you have those "pick me" thoughts, and not beat yourself up! I think women have a tendency to be overly hard on themselves when they aren't living up to their own expectations. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 12:11 PM |
| 14 | The importance of a husband compared to your support networkSorry, I have to disagree. As another commenter said, you and your husband are a unit and should make each other your #1 priority. That doesn't mean you give up your family or stop caring about them, but it does mean that you and your husband make decisions as a team. If my husband's decision-making 'team' consisted of his parents and sister, I would feel ignored and left out, like an interloper in my own marriage. Imagine if your family wanted you to move with them but your husband wanted you t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/21 12:08 PM |
| 7 | LVM coworker is extremely salty that I am Leveling-Up at work 🥰 and getting recognized for itIronically, all this talk about you being a "newbie" just makes you look better "Oh, she's so new and inexperienced!" "....yeah, and she's accomplished so much is such little time, that's even more impressive!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/21 09:00 PM |
| 6 | The Every Single Gen-Z & Millenial Man Starter PackThis is so accurate I am crying 😭😭😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 01:52 PM |
| 13 | Your time is valuable.Another interesting and related concept is the issue of "time pollution": time use studies often don't account for the fact that women (especially mothers) are rarely ever doing one thing at a time. Taking a work call while driving your kid to school - is that childcare or paid labour? Watching TV while you fold laundry - that's not really leisure, is it? Or even lying in bed "relaxing" - how many of us are mentally writing grocery lists or planning our workouts or children's birthday party? Men… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 09:22 PM |
| 5 | Can someone explain to my European brain this “joint account” bullshit?!Honestly, it's so much easier. It saves transfering money between accounts, figuring out who will pay what bill, etc etc etc... You should still have your own account(s), but having a joint account makes financial stuff a lot simpler. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 08:52 PM |
| 89 | How to make the first move, but not reallyI remember, years ago, reading about a study done on couples flirting in a bar. In 100% of the couples that left together, the women broke the touch barrier - essentially, reached out and physically touched the man before he touched her. Neither half of the couples remembered this - it seems to be subconscious - but when MEN tried to break the touch barrier before the woman did, they invariably left alone. Women definitely shoot their shot, men are just thick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 08:38 PM |
| 87 | Another reminder that hits close to home.I had a convo with a good friend of mine about how she keeps going for guys who don't treat her well and putting up with crappy treatment, and she said something like "but I don't meet many guys I'm into! Only like one a year! So if I let this one go it could be a long time before I find another." ...first, okay? Would you not be happier alone than with a guy who treats you poorly? And second: averaging one guy a year, from the time you're 18 until you're, say, 65 (just as an example) is FORTY S… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/21 07:43 PM |
| 4 | I begged my N-ex to make me a love note (as I would do it often for him) .. I made him a personalized comic book of our life and this is what I got in return. LMAO.Was he 14 when he wrote this | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/21 01:55 PM |
| 9 | HVM will be CONFUSED when you thank them for their basic decencyYesssss me too haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 08:47 PM |
| 9 | HVM will be CONFUSED when you thank them for their basic decencyPrecisely - those are nice, good things and the when somebody does then, yes it's nice, but it's not newsworthy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 08:46 PM |
| 18 | HVM will be CONFUSED when you thank them for their basic decencyI agree that it's nice being thanked for even basic stuff, but I think women have a tendency to be like "OMG THANK YOU sooooo much for coming to my family's Christmas!!" And decent men are like "??? Um you are welcome???" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 07:00 PM |
| 44 | HVM will be CONFUSED when you thank them for their basic decencyI tried to explain to my husband why I assumed that his whole "nice, caring" thing was a total act because I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm still kind of confused that he isn't, in fact, just a LVM who has managed to pull himself together for a short period of time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 06:59 PM |
| 82 | HVM will be CONFUSED when you thank them for their basic decencyRight?? It takes years to get used to a dude who is behaving decent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 05:06 PM |
| 37 | If men want traditional wives, they need to be traditional themselves by being full providers but of course, women that desire that are gold diggers.It's the only way to not go crazy as two busy working professionals, I swear. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/21 07:15 PM |
| 32 | If men want traditional wives, they need to be traditional themselves by being full providers but of course, women that desire that are gold diggers.Yes, several. I also have credit only in my name. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/21 07:14 PM |
| 101 | If men want traditional wives, they need to be traditional themselves by being full providers but of course, women that desire that are gold diggers.Fun fact: I'm currently off work due to burnout while my husband works full-time and does a Master's, so I do 90% of the housework, cooking, etc. We share a bank account and split all the money equally. So we pay our bills, and then we put the rest EQUALLY into each of our investment and savings accounts. It's the only way to have this arrangement. When I was working full time we had a maid service and split the housework, and my husband knew better than to ever complain that I wasn't "wifey". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/21 06:28 PM |
| 2 | "Women can have a man who is either attractive or a good person, but not both. If you want to date a hot guy, expect him to treat you like shit. If you don't want to be abused, you have to put up with having sex with someone you're not attracted to"Personally I've found 0 correlation with looks and personality, but the hot jerks do tend to be more flirtatious and disrespectful then the ugly jerks, presumably because they can. I do think that appearance shouldn't be the most important thing when looking for a partner, but obviously you should be attracted to your SO! I swear, men think we want the very hottest of the hottest guys and we're out here like "I just want someone in decent shape with a nice smile, fucking hell". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 02:05 PM |
| 58 | beware of men that aren't over their EX and the subtle ways they let you knowI disagree that a man should be running away from an ex that's approaching him - that would be majorly suspicious to me! It's fine to be polite to someone you haven't seen in awhile and have a brief interaction with them; that would imply to me that the two of them don't have any weird hangups and that he wasn't an asshole to her. I agree though that if he is SUPER friendly (ESPECIALLY if he tries to avoid introducing you or calling you his girlfriend) that is a major red flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 02:19 PM |
| 17 | Let's talk about 'well meaning' friends and family who try to set you up with some scrote who is far beneath your worth. How do you deal? And what is wrong with your fam/friends to do this to you?!A lot of women think that all men are like this, and so they don't understand why you would turn down what they see as a perfectly acceptable man. If this is as good as it gets, then surely you would be open to this? If all you've eaten your whole life is SPAM, how can you know that steak exists? I do think some women just don't want to admit how unappealing most of their single guy friends are. I have probably a dozen attractive, successful, interesting and kind single female friends, and maybe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 02:12 PM |
| 13 | I feel too valuable to lower myself to online dating apps againI know exactly one (1) person who met her husband on OLD and he really does seem pretty HV (although it is very hard to tell - you never know what goes on behind closed doors) BUT this was legit 10 years ago and I do think things have gotten worse since then. Interestingly in their case they were each other's first dates from OLD (and also obviously the last). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 01:58 PM |
| 10 | Let’s discuss: when people say you can’t have it all are they just projecting because they feel like they can’t have it all?Yup, that's my understanding of what people mean by "have it all". It comes from the "superwoman" movement in the late eighties/early nineties and it was meant as a way to tell women "of course you can have the corner office and bake homemade cookies with your children! You don't have to choose between unlimited professional success and magazine-perfect motherhood: you can have it all!" Honestly? Bullshit. The 'have-it-all' mentality is just another way for women to feel like they're failing and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 01:53 PM |
| 41 | A Queen Grandmama.Bless this post and this perfect Nana | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/21 11:59 PM |
| 5 | What Red Flags Have You Ignored That Later Became the Reason You LeftVideo gaaammmeesss | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/21 03:14 PM |
| 8 | Reminder: A person is not HV just because they're physically, economically, or socially advantaged."Is he really HV or is he just tall?" -important question to ask yourself 😜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 09:22 PM |
| 4 | Ladies this guy is on to your games! He knows you want to dig his gold and he will NOT stand for it.There is no way to "fully" protect yourself and your assets. Especially because in the case you've just described, you're trying to insert a clause about MARITAL assets - unless the house you're referring to is yours and you own it outright. I'm assuming that this house is something you'll purchase together while married, you can't insert clauses that would split marital assets unfairly. Especially the "looking at porn" thing - no judge would uphold that because it's so easy to fake. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/20 04:41 PM |
| 19 | A few reasons you should say no to the Hobo-sapiansMy best friend dated a guy who was doing his PhD. He got a tiny stipend but was seriously broke (like, couldn't afford to take the bus, broke). She was also in school but had built up a savings cushion first so she could afford things like, you know, a bus pass and the occasional frozen yogurt. This dude REFUSED to get any job he deemed "beneath him". His doctorate only really made him qualified for a couple of very specific jobs (the kind where there are maybe a dozen positions in the world tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/20 04:07 PM |
| 16 | Let's spread some hope and remember there ARE HVM out there! :)I've bragged about my husband before, but I really do think he's a HVM. He took care of my sick grandfather when I was out of the country (before we were even engaged). He encouraged me to go to therapy because he knows I have some toxic baggage in my past and wants me to overcome it for my own happiness. He asks what he can do to support me and then does it. He once said to me, when I was apologizing for being needy, "You can never be a burden to me because you are always my #1 priority". And h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 06:47 PM |
| 1 | So glad he is her exMen are absolutely capable of listening the first time. It is not some inscrutable law of maleness that they can't hear what you're saying or pay attention to what matters to you. Sadly, most men are kind of terrible at this, so women get used to it and excuse it as "just the way it is". That's total bullshit of course, but until you meet a man who behaves differently it's easy to believe they just don't exist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 03:25 PM |
| 3 | Why do men expect conventionally unattractive women to be less confident?They don't see any value in an unattractive woman, so they can't understand how an unattractive woman would value herself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/20 02:30 PM |
| 24 | “I can’t stick my dick in your master’s degree”This logic is very flawed, firstly because it presupposes that you would be seeking a master's in order to impress a man (wat) and, if you found out that it doesn't, would then not get your degree. Also because it is provably false. Our society practices assortive mating to a degree rarely seen before. Well-educated women from professional careers marry well-educated men in similar positions. The trope of the lawyer marrying his secretary is dead. Lawyers marry other lawyers that they meet in la… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 09:36 PM |
| 101 | they don't even hide it (a collection)"it's not your responsibility to treat her with respect, it's her responsibility to not put up with disrespectful treatment". That's literally the message this man is trying to give. Newsflash: it's everyone's responsibility to treat EVERYONE with respect. Women know this and mostly act on it. Fuck boys (or just... let's be honest, most men) believe that they have no responsibility to anyone but themselves. That is the mindset of toddlers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 02:20 PM |
| 8 | How has she stayed for 4 years of this... NVM. I have no words.I hope so...I get that it can take a long time to realize that this person you invested so much in is actually a piece of sentient garbage, but getting rid of him really will make her life so much better pretty much instantly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 01:40 PM |
| 3 | How has she stayed for 4 years of this... NVM. I have no words.That is the perfect response | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 01:39 PM |
| 73 | How has she stayed for 4 years of this... NVM. I have no words.I got anxiety reading this. Honestly this does sound like an addiction. I'm not saying this to excuse him, because he's clearly a human turd, but that level of obsessive need seems worse than the usual LVM gamer trope. The only good thing about this is that she sounds like she's finally done with his shit (I hope). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 09:02 PM |
| 3 | Please, share your HVM stories/ relationshipsWe had both been a part of the same hobby scene for like...10 years? He was a friendly acquaintance but we were never both single at the same time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 09:10 PM |
| 65 | Please, share your HVM stories/ relationshipsI've bragged about my husband many times, but he's just... amazing? He's the singularly most thoughtful human I have ever met. He treats everyone with respect and kindness. He's incredibly hardworking, smart, funny...and just crazy attractive (at least to me). I was so burnt out at work between a skyrocketing workload and awful boss that my usually-manageable chronic illness was flaring up so bad that I was essentially bed-bound every other day. He fully supported me (ie., House, pets, etc) but … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 01:02 AM |
| 3 | If you could go back and give your 23-year old self dating advice, what would it be ?Don't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 12:55 AM |
| 13 | I really think they are losing there minds. THE F***ING AUDACITY.Tyler that's called "The Girlfriend Experience" and it costs extra for a reason my dude. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 06:39 PM |
| 39 | Guys Who Quote Divorce Statistics are the definition of “Glass Half Empty” thinkers. 45% of marriages ending in divorce means 55% of marriages don’t. And all divorces are not terrible.Divorce statistics break down almost perfectly along class lines (at least in the US). Divorces rates for the upper 25% of income earning households are actually lower now then they were 20 years ago. However, divorce rates for the lowest 25% of households are actually higher than 50%. Essentially: rich people rarely divorce. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/20 01:25 PM |
| 2 | Let a bot run through a dating site and match me with 9870 guys. Here are the resultsData is beautiful, unlike the scrotes on OLD. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/20 10:14 PM |
| 10 | Guess the subThat sub gives me anxiety. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/20 05:42 PM |
| 17 | Men with an impossibly long list of "preferences" don't actually require a potential girlfriend to meet every single one, they just want the opportunity to devalue any woman who might date them, and an excuse to always keep one foot out the door looking for someone betterThey also do this so that when they are inevitably rejected they can say "well, she wasn't what I was looking for anyway". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/20 12:44 PM |
| 9 | Never going to date a cheap man ever againThere is a difference between cheap and frugal. A frugal man manages his money wisely so he can invest in what matters to him (ie., You). A cheap man spends as little as possible because money matters more to him than anything else, and in the end it puts him farther behind because he wastes time and resources replacing the cheap crap he buys instead of investing in quality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/20 06:18 PM |
| 21 | Women in their early 20s are dating LVM/NVM because they think that all men our age are like this.I will say that most of the men I knew in my early and mid twenties were just kind of... mediocre? Like most of them were not honestly bad people, but they were deeply underwhelming from a romantic perspective. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 07:41 PM |
| 6 | Gas me up to drop this manPhone/email/text relationships are not real. They are delicious, scintillating, addictive: a fantasy. They are hard to quit in many ways BECAUSE they aren't real: a man you've mostly invented in your head (because we never fill in the missing pieces with anything negative) cannot ever be what you really need, but he's safe. You can make-believe that he is what he says he is. This is hard, and I'm sorry. Here's the next step: block and delete on everything. Do not ever speak to this man again, or… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 01:13 PM |
| 14 | Men can’t make women orgasm because they don’t “cOmMUniCatE”This is so damn dumb. Fun fact about communication: it's literally a two-way operation. It's equally the responsibility of the person being communicated with to GIVE A SHIT AND LISTEN. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 01:03 PM |
| 3 | Is there a reason for women to get married - set me straightHonestly, based on your reasoning, you don't need marriage and it may very well be a liability for you. I got married to build a family and future with my husband. We both came into the relationship without any real debt or assets and have built everything together, which would not have been possible for either of us on our own. We are also trying to have children, and I wanted a formally committed partner before starting a family. That's my preference, but it may not be the right choice for eve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 09:07 PM |
| 5 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterAbsolutely! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 03:55 PM |
| 9 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterI don't mind the idea of joking about serious things, but have you ever noticed that LVM don't know when to stop joking? They literally have no other coping mechanisms. If it isn't a joke, they can't handle it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:26 PM |
| 3 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterExactly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:25 PM |
| 7 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterYou're welcome 😉 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:24 PM |
| 7 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterIn hindsight it's always so clear when the red flags were waiving, isn't it? I had an ex who gave me the silent treatment for three days because I left a wet towel on the bed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:23 PM |
| 12 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterThe only way men like this change is if they really want to. That said, I've never met a man who was willing so I'd never take the risk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:21 PM |
| 17 | HV Trait: He's Serious About the Important Stuff and Silly About the Stuff that Doesn't MatterAnd they have the nerve to call us "irrational" 🙃 really Keith I'm not the one sulking for two days because my Warcraft raid didn't go well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:20 PM |
| 7 | No a laundromat is NOT A DATE !!I threw up in my mouth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 02:45 AM |
| 75 | How to manage finances once you’re married?This topic comes up periodically and honestly, most of the advice given is just...bad. If you don't trust your husband enough to be financially transparent, don't marry him. If you don't trust any man enough to be financially transparent, don't get married to a man. DO have your own savings, chequing and credit card that he cannot access. You will needs these in the event of a separation or domestic violence situation. In the event of divorce, be 100% transparent with your assets. Deliberately h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 02:40 AM |
| 18 | A day in the life of our lost sisters at breaking mom.I read that sub periodically and 90% of the ones about men could be solved with "divorce him honey", instead you see "oh I feel you, it's so hard when your husband is literally worse than useless, have you tried brushing his teeth for him while he sleeps and prepping all the kids meals and snacks for him whenever you have to leave for 15 minutes? Maybe it would help to get some marriage counselling". Just. Divorce. Him. FFS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 01:36 PM |
| 14 | How I teach men not to talk over me: from one queen to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossibleMay I also suggest screeching like a raptor whenever you are interrupted in a social context? I had a guy friend who would genuinely just start talking over me whenever he felt like it and making horrible sounds was the only thing that got him to stop. But he learned! And he doesn't interrupt me anymore! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 04:30 PM |
| 12 | My boyfriend called me out yesterday.My husband does this when I'm like "oh I'm being a princess sorry" - he's like "having needs and preferences doesn't make you a princess and you should never have to apologize for them". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 05:27 PM |
| 18 | Of course, LVM say how valuable she is.. I think that's so pathetic of her, are women expected to be 50/50 buddies when a man gains 100% of it??Jesus buy him an air freshener if you want to do something nice ffs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 05:23 PM |
| 23 | Let’s talk about more CODES on OLDOr it means that he's super passive and wants you to do all the work in the relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 02:01 AM |
| 88 | I mentioned the steps I’m taking to invest in real estate in the near future with my SO. Interestingly he began using “we/us” pronouns surrounding the decisions that will be made with my money.Men think that if you're talking to them about anything it's because you want their advice and they always, ALWAYS believe they have advice to give, regardless of whether they've spent more than 30 seconds considering the topic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:23 PM |
| 2 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesYou're welcome, glad it spoke to you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:30 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:29 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesMoney is, and always has been, a tool. In this case, it's the only tool men have to demonstrate that he has this most important trait. I think a lot of men are forgetting that, but certainly not all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:29 PM |
| 2 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesYou're welcome! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:27 PM |
| 3 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesI am glad you are taking time for yourself and your kids <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:27 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesYou're welcome! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:26 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesOh I 100% agree - pregnancy and childbirth is so, so much work and I guarantee a man like this will grouse about having to do a tiny bit more housework (which, let's be real, is still not even HALF) when you're 9 months pregnant and too sick to get out of bed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:26 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:25 PM |
| 2 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesHaha glad you enjoyed! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:25 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for Dates"I daresay it could be longer" is the biggest compliment I could receive - I work really, really hard to keep my posts here succint! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:24 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesI came back to this post literally just to tell you how horrified I am and also proud of you for making him an EX haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:23 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesSo, so true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:22 PM |
| 2 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesThe mentality really is everything. Glad you liked it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:22 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesBINGO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:21 PM |
| 2 | Mindset shift for women who find themselves doing more of the houseworkTake my horrified upvote friend | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 11:33 PM |
| 6 | Ladies, without FDS I wouldn’t even have considered this one. But we’re together for 6 months now and I can confidently say I found my HVM! 🌹I deliberately adopted an older, lazy dog. Sometimes it's tough because if I want to hike more than 3 km she needs to stay at home, but I spent more time at work or on a couch than I did hiking, so I needed a dog who would be good in her crate/on a couch. Her favourite thing is snuggling, and she likes a good walk, but she won't rip my house to pieces without one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 08:16 PM |
| 12 | Easiest decision ever!Nah I'll take the whole-ass pool, now everybody get outta my pool. The dog can stay if he gets along with mine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 03:31 PM |
| 2 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimIt's genuinely confusing sometimes because my instinct is still to "help" (ie., Do) but he doesn't need it! Realizing that he was fine without me was really important. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 12:49 PM |
| 4 | This is the kind of guy that would say "wOmEn aRe ToO pIcKy" despite listing TWENTY-NINE extremely specific things he wants in a woman...I had to google it too and...yep, those aren't challenging clothes in any sense. Like bruh if a girl "doesn't know where to begin" with wearing a ditsy-print wrap dress she's probably a moron. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:20 PM |
| 14 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimThe male ego is the most fragile thing on the planet | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 01:14 PM |
| 10 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimInvest in yourself, you'll appreciate it more! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:25 PM |
| 6 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:25 PM |
| 22 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimMen are comfortable with someone just like their mom, because it is familiar and safe. I've never heard anybody describe their Queen as comfortable, familiar and safe. That's not the energy I'm bringing to any man haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:25 PM |
| 32 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimI took time off work to unpack a man's house for him. We all have dark times to look back on haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:23 PM |
| 12 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimThey really don't, because in most cases they either didn't ask you to put in that effort in the first place, or they did knowing that they were taking advantage of you and not caring because they are straight trash. Either way, no bueno. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:22 PM |
| 16 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimThe liiieeessss | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:21 PM |
| 33 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimI love FDS but sometimes the messaging is very direct, and I know a lot of women (myself included) who feel uncomfortable with being "mean". But much of the advice here isn't really mean at all, because it recognizes that men are grown people who have the right to live any way they want (even if the way they want is, objectively, terrible) and that our responsibility in those situations is to WALK AWAY. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:20 PM |
| 23 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimSo true - whatever man you help him become, it won't be the best version of himself - it will be the best version of your vision for him, and he'll know it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:18 PM |
| 42 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimWhat I've learned from marrying a man who actually wants to change, and does, the difference is night and day. Providing emotional support to a man who theoretically wants to change but actually has no intention/ability to change means a lot of "doing" for him - doing research, sending links, prepping documents, etc. You support him by doing shit he should be doing himself. Providing emotional support to a man who IS changing is more about being a sounding board for ideas/plans, which are then p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:15 PM |
| 9 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimTruuueeee OMG | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 12:09 PM |
| 46 | The double standard behind “not all men”If it isn't all men, if in fact it is only a vanishingly tiny minority of bad men, why aren't you doing anything to stop them, Kevin? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 08:02 PM |
| 5 | I think this may be the post that finally makes me leave that sub. "So I was alone, when I could have had the support of a partner". More like you were alone working on yourself when you could have been getting dragged down further!That is genuinely really interesting, and not something I would have thought of/not the way I would have interpreted the message, but it makes enormous sense. "I don't want someone who wants the person I've had to become to survive abuse" is a super powerful attitude and I salute you for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 06:23 PM |
| 25 | I think this may be the post that finally makes me leave that sub. "So I was alone, when I could have had the support of a partner". More like you were alone working on yourself when you could have been getting dragged down further!...there is a lot to unpack here. You may not be as ugly as you think (or maybe you are, I don't know your life). Ugly people find love all the time. All that said, obviously you know yourself and your situation the best and I'm not here to try to convince you to do something you don't want to do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 04:07 PM |
| 13 | I think this may be the post that finally makes me leave that sub. "So I was alone, when I could have had the support of a partner". More like you were alone working on yourself when you could have been getting dragged down further!I don't know about you, but my version of "perfect" (for myself) is still pretty unobtainable. If I waited for that, I'd never have met my husband. In my opinion, you should strive to like all versions of you, including the works-in-progress. You can acknowledge that you are imperfect (and will likely remain so) and still believe that you deserve good treatment. I don't think I'm perfect. I'm not even close. This doesn't mean that I have low self-esteem or put up with bullshit. Obviously I'm not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 04:05 PM |
| 62 | I think this may be the post that finally makes me leave that sub. "So I was alone, when I could have had the support of a partner". More like you were alone working on yourself when you could have been getting dragged down further!Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Perfect is an illusion and there is no point in waiting on it. Also I reject the notion that you need to be perfect to "deserve" love, especially when you consider the number of men who'd fuck a stale pita if the mood was right. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 01:30 PM |
| 90 | Women that have dropped a LVM for a HVM, please share your experiences.Ohhh...that is...that is super duper sad. I hope you dump him swiftly and mercilessly. And soon! The last guy I dated before my husband was bad in bed, would belittle me and make fun of my feelings, was underemployed and too cowardly to do anything about it, barely cleaned his apartment and was just all around bad for me. Then I met my husband, who is a handsome, successful, kind, compassionate, hard-working, thoughtful sex god. They exist. They aren't common but they exist. Besides, being alone… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 03:07 AM |
| 4 | Let's Revitalize This Discussion: Can Men Who Are Bad to Mediocre at Sex Significantly Improve? How Do They React When You Tell Them They're Bad at Sex?My best friend and I rate men on a three-point scale: physical endowment (ie., dick), technical skills (does he know what a clitoris is and how to touch it?) and attitude (ie., is he thoughtful and excited about being with you?) While I have mins and maxes in the physical category, and a certain level of technical skill can be taught, if a guy has a bad attitude about banging he will always, always be bad in bed. By bad attitude I mean selfish, not open to feedback, or just plain bored/uninteres… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 03:07 AM |
| 10 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineI swear to god there are only like eight Disappointing Man archetypes and 90% of dudes just pick one the day they turn 18. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 12:27 AM |
| 2 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineThank you! They are pretty shit but I am still a lucky lady. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 10:44 PM |
| 17 | 1 month free of a LVMI thought this was going to be a joke like "1 month free LVM trial! Try before you buy, no contracts!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 08:20 PM |
| 7 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineWhy was I in such a hurry? Genuinely I wonder why I stressed so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 08:17 PM |
| 18 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineI mean, HVM are not a monolith: they're people like anybody else and each individual and individual relationship has it's own quirks and style. I would say, most importantly, don't let your whole life become your husband. Keep your own goals, ambitions, hobbies and friends. And keep your standards high, because someone can seem high value for a long time and burn you in the end if you start to let bad behaviour slide. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 05:38 PM |
| 5 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineIt is soooo so true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 05:35 PM |
| 10 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineYou're welcome! I just thought it might be nice to get a different perspective. Like yeah my good marriage is pretty cool but being happily single was also really good and I wish I had appreciated it more! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 05:35 PM |
| 16 | Dispatches from the other side: Marriage isn't a finish lineI feel like it's one thing for a single or divorced person to say "marriage ain't shit" but I hope it helps that me - a lady who is Super Into Being Married - is also like "nah dudes it's pretty cool but it ain't worth the hype" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 05:34 PM |
| 11 | Sicko of the day award goes to Randy (: Why cant you be 10x younger???Why can't you be half as ugly and twice as charming?? Just damn! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 12:08 AM |
| 42 | To you who message me warning about FDSAs a happily married woman: don't listen to these guys. FDS isn't perfect or exact but it's an incredible resource for finding someone who really loves you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 08:05 PM |
| 2 | Nothing but teaAlso most of them don't have an actual clue what women enjoy, in my experience | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 10:21 PM |
| 8 | LVM be like "who's gonna do your yard work, who's gonna clean your gutters, who's gonna open jars for you?"I can do all those "masculine" things but I never met a LVM who could microwave soup so please, tell me again how much I need you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 05:47 PM |
| 229 | Nothing but teaUgghhh so true. One of my exes was "dom" in bed, by which he meant that he wanted to do whatever he thought I would enjoy and then complain and blame me when I tried to tell him what I actually like. He literally told me "you should like what I do". I was like nah bro you're terrible at this *shrug emoji* My husband is assertive in bed, in that he knows what I like and doesn't make me do all the work or lead the encounter while still being HYPER AWARE OF AND RESPONSIVE TO my needs. THAT'S what I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 05:45 PM |
| 60 | Toxic ex sent me a “friendly” email to try to get in touch with me again. Don’t fall for it!"new life, who dis?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 04:16 PM |
| 8 | Is it realistic to think that if “level up” we are all gonna find that HV unicorn we are all dreaming about?I mean not everybody who works hard is going to end up a millionaire but the odds are better than not trying at all | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 06:07 PM |
| 5 | On r/sex a woman let’s her boyfriend have sex with her while she’s asleep. I wrote a comment in response and a Pickmeisba went at me for it.At least in my jurisdiction, you literally can't consent to sex in your sleep, so. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 12:54 PM |
| 16 | Ladies, line up for your chance to give this man head in his car! This self proclaimed disease-free, kink-friendly cheater could be all yours (for an afternoon) for the small price of your dignity! [BARF]Men like this need to be removed from society. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 07:58 PM |
| 5 | DO. NOT. SETTLE. FOR. ANYTHING. LESS. THAN. YOU. DESERVE.Yeah, I always feel weird about these because there is absolutely a weight at which I would no longer be sexually attracted to my husband. I suspect it would be about 50-70 lbs from where he is now but I don't know. His weight has fluctuated while we've been together about 20 lbs and that hasn't made any difference though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 10:05 PM |
| 2 | A Man Who Games vs A "Gamer"...please go read the handbook. 10 years is a long time and there are a lot of other red flags in this comment. I'm not to trying to be mean but it sounds like you deserve better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 10:28 AM |
| 2 | A Man Who Games vs A "Gamer"Honestly this is a horror story <3 glad you're not with him any longer! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:39 PM |
| 22 | A Man Who Games vs A "Gamer"Yeah, that's my whole point. I play bejeweled on my phone sometimes but I am in no way a "gamer". My husband plays video games on his computer once in a while, but he has far more hobbies that are much more important to him and his life doesn't in any way revolve around games. Obviously people can have whatever standards they want but if you're looking at something to vet for, being a Gamer is a much bigger flag than occasionally playing Pokemon Go. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 04:32 PM |
| 9 | Is it possible for a LVM to better himself and become a HVM, in order to make himself a suitable match for a HVW?I am such a softie for women dealing with men who have had a "hard past" and have "potential" because I KNOW it comes from a beautiful place and moreover women are so utterly conditioned to believe that The Love Of A Good Woman Will Change Him but fuck this made me tired. "Is it possible for a LVM to better himself and become a HVM?" shit hon anything is possible, it's possible that in my mid-thirties with zero experience I might become a concert violinist but I'm not quitting my day job. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 01:12 PM |
| 1 | A VERY infuriating article from a former Cosmo writer where she flat out admits they lied repeatedly to sell a feminist propoganda dream NONE of them were livingAbortion is way safer than pregnancy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 12:31 PM |
| 24 | Is it possible for a LVM to better himself and become a HVM, in order to make himself a suitable match for a HVW?Maybe it's early and I'm just grumpy but why the hell did you just write a novel about a drug dealing drug addict with active warrants? Have you read the handbook at all? Listen, I get it: he got a dealt a shitty hand and you feel bad for him. Maybe he does have some good traits. Maybe any one of us would have turned out just the same, given the same rough start. But here's the spoiler: I. Don't. Care. In this post alone you have expended a staggering amount of time and energy trying to justify … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:55 AM |
| 31 | BuT hAvE yOu TaLkEd To HiM??? - Btw, if he's not helping with the cleaning he's not "wonderful", you're delusional!In some ways I am sympathetic to this situation - if you set up the expectation that you'll be doing 90% of the housework and childcare, then he is going to go along with it. Many men are conditioned to think they are incompetent at housework, and plenty more don't care. My point is not to shame women or let men off the hook. My point is that you MUST NOT blindly take on this work. You MUST insist on fair labour division from the beginning. Men who mean well but are just "not that great" at dome… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 06:09 PM |
| 7 | Marisa Tomei is actually very much what a thriving woman in her 50s looks like. What wall?Holy...I remember being annoyed at the Spiderman franchise because this lady did NOT look old enough to have a teen-aged nephew. Well, today I learned. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 03:35 PM |
| 14 | No, they don't improve with age 🙄🤮Think about - he truly believes that these are his most attractive qualities. Or at least that this won't turn a woman off so badly that her vagina slams shut like a bear trap. What the fuck. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 02:03 PM |
| 109 | Humble men of MatchI 100% guarantee that this person is insufferable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 06:10 PM |
| 53 | Gotta use this time wiselyfor all the men who are looking for something to do during quarantine might i suggest therapy FTFY | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 06:01 PM |
| 65 | The Defining Difference Between a HVM & LVMDude literally went to al-anon with me when I was trying to sort out my parent's alcoholism. This guy drinks about once a year (sometimes less) and isn't super comfortable with intimate, vulnerable spaces. But he showed up, for me. I tried to give him an out when we were first planning on going because I remembered he had plans to go to the gym, and I didn't want to inconvenience him. He said "you can never be an inconvenience because you are my #1 priority". I want everybody to find that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 05:59 PM |
| 39 | The Defining Difference Between a HVM & LVMHoping to spread around a little positivity - I know the world is filled with really pathetic dudes but good ones do still exist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 05:57 PM |
| 17 | LMAOO the audacity of a 5’2” mid 20s deadbeat thinking a teen girl could be his future wifeI thought it might be that - I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something really obvious in the profile. Also: gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 01:29 AM |
| 40 | LMAOO the audacity of a 5’2” mid 20s deadbeat thinking a teen girl could be his future wifeWhere does it say he wants a teen girl? Am I missing something? Although dude does seem boring and a little too focused on money... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 01:18 AM |
| 12 | For those of you who are married to HVM, what did you have to compromise?Married for a year: I had to compromise a bit on lifestyle, as I'm more outgoing and he's more of a homebody. That means that I either go out less (with him), go out by myself, or go out with friends. I honestly don't mind, but if I could flip a switch and turn him into a man who wanted to go to concerts with me, I probably would. However, it's important not to confuse an activity partner for a life partner; I've dated outgoing, sociable men in the past who made me miserable in the long run beca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 02:20 PM |
| 23 | AS IF! LOOOOOLDump him, it's 202 ladies. Less talking, more walking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 10:40 PM |
| 4 | LVM Behavior, what are your examples?Ohhhh boy, pull up a chair *cracks knuckles* -a boyfriend had friends over in my apartment while I was travelling and left a huge mess, including caked-on dishes, for ME to clean when I got home -a boyfriend "accidentally" got a blow job from a former FWB when we first started dating but "didn't know how to tell her to stop without it being awkward" -a boyfriend complained that I was bad in bed/bossy when I tried to tell him how to make me feel good (his attitude was 'you should like what I do')… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 04:35 PM |
| 8 | FDS Relationship Success Stories?Yeah, on the one hand I always hesitate to reply ("who wants to hear from this happily married lady on a dating sub??") but on the other hand I understand that it can feel pretty bleak out there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:25 PM |
| 11 | FDS Relationship Success Stories?Like 3-4 months, although full disclosure, I slept with him after like two weeks? I would recommend waiting longer though - it worked out for me because I was SO CONVINCED that he was a Secret Fuckboi (TM) that sleeping with him didn't totally cloud my judgment the way that it did every other time with literally every other guy. Also, even though I slept with him, he could tell that I wasn't gaga about him so he didn't feel too comfortable. Finally, he's just like a really good human being, and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:21 PM |
| 42 | FDS Relationship Success Stories?Mine was pre-FDS but I had already read a lot of the sidebar because I just find dating and dating culture really fascinating. The only thing I did right was take a long time vetting my man before falling head over heels. He seemed too good to be true, so I assumed he was secretly a jerk and kept him at arm's length while I waited for him to fuck up and show his "true colours". Well, turns out he's truly just wonderful. Not perfect, but incredibly kind, funny, smart, good looking, generous, thou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:52 AM |
| 2 | How I wish I could let her know that she doesn’t have to lower her standardsThat's the thing I don't get - faith, education, culture: these are super integral things to who you are, and usually when we have standards in those areas it's because we've tried dating people who don't meet them and we've ended up miserable. Like, we don't pull those standards out of nowhere! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 07:05 PM |
| 9 | Finally someone appreciates the pain of pregnancies.We don't have kids yet, but I am reassured by my husband's best friend: his wife gained probably 100 lbs since having kids and he still absolutely dotes on her. I'm really hoping I don't gain that much weight, but I am happy that the "standard" that my husband has been exposed to is not this bro-y douchebag culture of cheating on your wife when her appearance changes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 03:47 PM |
| 24 | There's a reason financial independence has been kept from women so long in this country. By owning assets, a woman has options and can choose to leave abusers. Practice caution before giving up your career/money/stability for a man.Keep credit instruments (ie., credit cards) solely in your name. You need to have a credit history and often joint cards will ONLY be reported under whoever's name gets listed first. Also, you don't want someone having access to a credit card and running it up only to leave you stuck holding the bill. It's okay to have a joint chequing account but you MUST have separate savings and investment accounts that he has zero access to. Save and invest equally, regardless of your relative financial comm… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 02:43 PM |
| 10 | So *ALL* women except for younger ones are unattractive, but this grandpa is soooo attractive. Porn rots men’s brains. Look at any age bracket, women are more attractive. I bet his wife looks light years better than he does. I hope she leaves his crust ass.I know a lot of men who have the physique of a half-rotten potato but look "fine" in their 20 year-old clothing because men's clothing is almost always an unfitted sack. If your best claim to sexual attractiveness is being approximately the same size you were 20 years ago, YOU AIN'T SHIT | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 02:47 PM |
| 4 | Cohabiting before marriage?Oh sure - I wouldn't have moved in with my husband otherwise. I've lived with dudes who were not nearly as stable and financially intelligent and that was just dumb on my part :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 06:33 PM |
| 12 | Delusional Scrote has a meltdown when his former FWBs publicly tell him he’s garbage at sex 😆The more a man talks about his sexual prowess, the less you want to have sex with him. All of the bad sex I had was with guys who talked about their dicks as if I would orgasm simply from awe at the sight of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 06:27 PM |
| 16 | Cohabiting before marriage?So about 6 months into dating my husband, I asked him point-blank what his plans were for "us" and he answered, without hesitation, "I want to date for a year, live together for a year and then get engaged". I don't think I would have agreed to live with him otherwise. In my case it worked out, but unless a guy can give you an equally-concrete plan and timeline, I would recommend against it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 06:19 PM |
| 24 | Thank u, next 💅Sometimes I think of the men I *could* have been stuck with during COVID and just shudder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 06:53 PM |
| 20 | Love is....If someone woke me up at 3 AM to tell me they love me, they'd be dead. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 01:53 PM |
| 4 | Does anyone else think "Responsive Sexual Desire" is Horse Shit?I've always identified as having "reactive" sexual desire because for the most part I don't think about sex unless there is something to trigger that thought - it just...doesn't really occur to me? But if I start making out with my husband, or a sexy scene comes on TV or shows up in the book I'm reading, I will absolutely go "oh right! Shagging!" and then be in the mood. But I'm rarely sitting around and suddenly horny. And while I do notice hot guys and enjoy the view, I don't want to have sex … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 10:46 PM |
| 5 | Anybody else? I recognize not every child of divorce will develop attachment problems but I’d like to minimize the chanceI understand wanting someone who comes from an emotionally stable household - totally! And, frankly, we all tend to inherit the neuroses of our family. But as someone who was raised by a single parent, I always get my back up when people say "I'd never date someone whose parents are divorced/who was raised by a single mother". Being in a two-parent household doesn't guarantee that someone will be psychologically well-adjusted. I've dated men from married and divorced families and there was reall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 03:24 PM |
| 3 | Craigslist Best Of: CHEROKEE BOY WHO HATES CHILDRENThis sounds like someone experiencing a severe, unmedicated manic episode. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 03:15 PM |
| 7 | Anybody else? I recognize not every child of divorce will develop attachment problems but I’d like to minimize the chanceBetter to be the child of an amicable divorce than of two people who have been married for 30 years and fucking hate each other | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 02:02 PM |
| 31 | Isn’t he lovely 😍 what a catch!How does this work? How do people see this bio and think "yes! he sounds promising!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:52 PM |
| 7 | Good luck, sis.This genuinely makes me so sad. I understand occasional laziness, or different levels of tidiness - I can be occasionally messy/not as tidy as I know I should be. Sometimes my husband does the dishes in a way that I consider inefficient, or, like, chops vegetables "weird". But, like, he's an adult? Who can keep himself alive? What the fuck. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 12:50 AM |
| 141 | Why You Need To Pay For Russian Women// the whiny men on the comments LoL, it's the time to stop fetishizing us eastern european women!!I read a FASCINATING paper a few years ago about Russian women and the anti-feminist sentiment that the researchers found there. During Communism, there was a big push for absolute equality - economic equality, but also absolute equality between the sexes. It's sounds great in theory, but what the women found was that when men and women were both expected to do all the types of work, women did men's work and women's work and men didn't work at all. What did Russian women do? They revolted! They … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 12:29 AM |
| 4 | Putting on a voice when speaking to menAgree 100% - changing your natural self never works long term. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 02:12 PM |
| 19 | Putting on a voice when speaking to menNot that I disagree, but don't beat yourself up for putting on a "voice" with people you're romantically interested in. From what I've read, men and women both speak to their romantic partners in a cuter, "baby-ish" voice than how they speak to other people. It seems to be instinctual. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 01:51 PM |
| 89 | If you don't think HVM exist at all, why are you even here?I have a lot of sympathy for women who are just fed up with men, and genuinely, it does seem like sometimes the only winning strategy is not to play. But I also agree with your point - I'm a married woman in her mid-thirties and I happened to believe my husband is high-value. That doesn't mean that I think he's perfect or that he never annoys me, nor does it mean that I think I'm immune to divorce or shitty behaviour (a lot of people *think* they have a HV husband, right up until he cheats, or r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 01:46 PM |
| 31 | NVM calls rich, 24 year old gf a spoiled brat and undermines her success. Asks if he's TA.Oh I haven't gone to med school - not to give away IDing info but I work in Medicine in a different capacity within the system :) Also yeah "I want the best for her" nah bro you want the best for YOU and it makes you mad if someone has it better | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 04:29 PM |
| 135 | NVM calls rich, 24 year old gf a spoiled brat and undermines her success. Asks if he's TA.I work in Medicine. People have no idea how competitive medical school is and how hard you have to work once you're there. "I want the best for her at the end of the day, namely that she leaves medical school totally burdened by debt for no reason other than my insecurity. I can't possibly be the asshole, can I?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 01:32 PM |
| 15 | When "doing the dishes, talking a walk, trimming his beard" are considered romantic 🤢Not gonna lie, my husband cleaned the kitchen while I was napping yesterday and it was nice - but not, like, impressive? And he didn't need me to draw him a picture or make him a special meal to feel "inspired" to do it; he saw that the kitchen was messy and thought "she'll probably enjoy waking up to a clean kitchen". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:55 PM |
| 2 | Separate taxes? 💰Don't marry a man you aren't willing to be financially transparent with. If you aren't willing to be financially transparent with any man, don't marry. You can have a long, happy relationship with a man without cohabiting or getting married. I'm a married woman in Canada - my husband and I share all of our finances 100%. I know how much he makes to the cent, and he knows the same about me. We make all large purchasing choices together and have worked on an investment and savings plan as a team, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 01:45 PM |
| 2 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindI had to do this twice before I finally realized what a clown I was being - I'm just happy that it can help someone! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/20 06:19 PM |
| 15 | If HVM are rare, how do I maintain a mindset of abundance?To echo what others have said: it's not that HVM are abundant, it's that your life is (or can be) so abundantly full, joyful and satisfying without one. You don't need any man because you are building a wonderful, full life on your own. However, if some stats would help: let's say approximately 5% of men you meet (5/100) would be acceptable to date. Of those, 20% (1/5) would make good long term partners/a potential husband (because you've vetted well at the outset). If you meet and aggressively … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 04:56 PM |
| 13 | Imagine having nothing else in your life besides porn and killing yourself if you couldn't get access to it. We need Darwinism and FeminismI'm really, really curious what the author of the tweet this is replying to does that could possibly be worse than living a life devoid of absolutely anything beneficial or meaningful; a life dedicated, apparently, to porn. Like, what could "u do" that would be worse than that? Murder? Arson? Animal cruelty? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 04:23 PM |
| 47 | Last few months I’ve been going around with an attitude of “well, if a man can do it, it can’t be that hard, I bet I can do it too” and ladies I have yet to be wrongWhenever I find a job I'm hesitating to apply for because I don't quite match the qualification exactly, or I don't have quite enough experience, I remind myself that I need to have the confidence of a mediocre white man and go ahead and apply anyway. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 01:11 PM |
| 9 | If you don't want a diamond ring...I haven't seen this yet, but vintage/heirloom jewelry is often significantly less expensive than "new" stuff and was absolutely made to last. If you are against diamonds for ethical reasons, consider looking at antique stores and see what you can find. You can often get the stones re-set but frankly I find vintage jewelry really lovely and you get a piece with history. My engagement ring was a family heirloom and is literally one of kind, and I think that's enormously special. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/20 02:40 PM |
| 1 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindI am so sorry - I wish there was more I could say. But we're glad you're here! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/05/20 11:40 AM |
| 2 | Remember ladies, don't swipe right because "he seems nice"Agreed pity swipe never turns out well | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/20 01:47 PM |
| 7 | In your experience, have most guys just been interested in your looks?Ooof that dude needs to be thrown in the trash and kept there permanently by all womankind. Men: ugh your taste in music is lame, I don't know if this is gonna work. Women: well your apartment is a mess and you're underemployed, emotionally unavailable and you don't brush your teeth as often as you should, but heck nobody's perfect!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 09:32 PM |
| 10 | Going with the theme of another post I just saw: Imagine having a baby with someone only to immediately realize they’re a LVMThat really sums it up nicely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 02:57 PM |
| 35 | In your experience, have most guys just been interested in your looks?So I'll tell you my story if it helps at all: I'm a fairly attractive woman, but also pretty generic looking. There is nothing striking/stunning/unusual about how I look. I'm also not, like, crazy gorgeous - think, like, "Department Store Catalog Model". I don't mean this to be self-deprecating, but the fact is, I look like a lot of other cute blonde girls. I am also gregarious and confident, so I attract a lot of guys. However, I am a lot weirder than I appear, and this was even more true in my… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 02:27 PM |
| 23 | Broke Dusty gifts a woman a basic drawing of her ass as an anniversary gift. HVW exposes the low effort. Pick me’s and LVM try (but fail) to defend mediocrity. Another day in hell."At least he didn't forget" Just...what? Is that literally the whole standard now? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 02:06 PM |
| 23 | Remember ladies, don't swipe right because "he seems nice"I agree in principle but I have met some guys who looks dumb AF in photos but were very hot in person. That said, there are probably plenty of dudes whom you already know you're attracted to so why bother taking the chance? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 01:55 PM |
| 2 | Are HVM even worth it tho?Oh yeah, if anything ever happened to my husband (god forbid) I don't know if I could bring myself to date again. I've rarely had really terrible boyfriends, but even though very few of them were actively bad, pretty much none was worth the amount of energy I invested and I know that most of the guys I'd be meeting would be very much the same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 05:44 PM |
| 18 | Are HVM even worth it tho?I put up will 1/10th the bullshit from my husband that I did from boyfriends in the past, and I get back 10 times more than I was getting from those dudes. So, for me, he's worth it. The worst thing my husband does is forget to put his dishes in the dishwasher sometimes, or put my laundry away in a weird way. In return I get an incredibly loyal, kind, thoughtful, funny, brilliant and generous partner. He looked after my grandpa when I was out of the country. He paid for my cat's vet visit. When … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 01:50 AM |
| 4 | “Can we be fwb after quarantine?” NoOkay, you know what? If a high school kid wants to prioritize playing sports and hanging out with his friends over getting into a relationship, I am 100% okay with this. That's pretty much what I did all high school and I don't regret it. The truly mind-boggling thing here, and I think it's a huge indictment of the culture these kids are growing up in, is that he can decide that he doesn't have time to spend in a relationship and still have the audacity to write a girl a whole paragraph literall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/20 01:28 PM |
| 3 | Husband is upset that his wife had a double mastectomy due to breast cancer, is masturbating to big-breast porn, and is pushing her to have breast implant surgery DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE IS NOT IN REMISSIONForget a detox, time for a Hetox. Because he toxic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/20 03:58 PM |
| 12 | If a male I'm getting to know does or says something unacceptable or hurtful that shows him to be low value how do I stop the urge to waste my time and energy going off on him or trying to get themto understand when I need to just block him and keep it moving?They don't deserve a reply - your time is valuable and they aren't worth any of it. Think about it - they're giving you absolute crap, and you're giving them a gift in return. You're rewarding them for being disgusting. At the very best, you're spending YOUR precious time and energy doing the work of educating an ignorant person - work his parents should have done, or at least work he should do himself. At worst, you're giving someone who wants to bother you/upset you/get under your skin confirm… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/20 06:47 PM |
| 10 | Only LVM don't care about a woman's accomplishmentsoh yeah, they definitely think of women as interchangeable; you can pretty much swap any (hot) woman with any other woman, and what difference would it make? (as far as they're concerned). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 05:05 PM |
| 64 | Ever met what seems to be a HVM and then don’t know how to act and think it must be a facade?I mean, that's exactly the right attitude to take. Be suspicious - be EXTREMELY suspicious! My husband is amazing, but he was SO amazing right off the bat that I assumed it was a scam. I held him at arms length for months, waiting for him to fuck up and show his "true colours". Surely he was only being this wonderful because he wanted something from me, and once he got it, he'd be gone. But he didn't fuck up. He kept showing me with his actions that I was his priority. And I noticed - because I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 02:52 PM |
| 29 | Only LVM don't care about a woman's accomplishmentsI think that people, generally, have to be physically attracted to each other - so, yes, if you're physically unappealing, I don't care at all about your success/accomplishments. This is true for men and women. The idea that men just want someone hot and don't care about your accomplishments/personality/etc etc is so extremely stupid though. Like you, all the HV men I've met love intelligent, accomplished women, because they know that they need more than a hot body to form a real, mutually-benef… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 02:41 PM |
| 9 | This is what happens when you date a child... and the comments 😤Yeah, I was like "he's been a bigger, longer-term asshole by forcing you to bear the burden of the household, but in that exact moment you were kind of an asshole". Should you have to nag and then thank another human being to do basic adult things? Of course not. Does that mean saying "thank you..wait, NO I DON'T THANK YOU" doesn't come across as kind of shitty? Also no! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 01:15 PM |
| 10 | This is what happens when you date a child... and the comments 😤I was going to come here to say that; there's nothing wrong with thanking each other for the chores you should do anyway. It feels nice to be appreciated. The problem here isn't that she thanked him - it's that he needed to be told over and over and over again to be a contributing partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 01:09 PM |
| 42 | Older ladies of FDS who are happily married/coupled, I need your guidance.If you want to get married, don't date men you wouldn't want your best friend marrying. I wasted a lot of time with guys who were hot, good in bed, but mediocre life partners. I assumed they would grow into good partners because I was young. None of them did. They weren't bad guys for the most part (luckily I didn't spend too much time with awful guys). But they weren't someone I'd want to build a life with. They were irresponsible with money, or lacked ambition, or we're lazy around the house. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 05:42 PM |
| 4 | Do you think men rate themselves higher?In my experience (and of course, the plural of anecdote is not data): -most very hot (9/10 or 10/10) guys know they are extremely hot. They have lots of success with women and often skate by on their looks and charisma. -most good looking guys (7 or 8/10) think they are average, especially if it took them a while to "grow" into their looks. I ascribe this to the fact that guys have a harder time judging the relative attractiveness of dudes and so tend to think "well I'm not super hot but I'm not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 03:31 PM |
| 5 | Professionally ambitious women really only have two options when it comes to their personal partners — a super-supportive partner or no partner at all.My trick was finding a dude who's mom was the breadwinner in the family while his Dad worked part-time and did most of the childcare because his Mom had a super-demanding high-paying career. I swear, he's more supportive of my career than I am 😝 He still works hard and has a great career of his own, it would just never occur to him to presume that his takes precedent in our lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 03:01 PM |
| 77 | KinkMeisha fights with Gynecologist who tells her to stop having Anal Sex before she irreparably hurts herself.If your Gyno can tell *at a glance* that you're having anal sex, you are hurting yourself. Jesus. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 02:28 PM |
| 51 | Success StoriesI always hesitate to reply to these posts, since it feels like I am bragging. I'm happily married and have been for a year. I am confident that my man, while not perfect, is certainly high-value. He ticks a lot of the classic "good on paper" tick-boxes (handsome, successful, smart, talented, good in bed) and has a lot of the qualities that make a person wonderful to have in your life (kindness, empathy, consideration, desire for self-improvement, responsible, etc). The *only* thing I really did … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 06:08 PM |
| 1 | Preferences vs RequirementsI thought you made your point very well :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 02:43 PM |
| 2 | Preferences vs RequirementsI think this is a delicate subject; on the one hand, people really can have whatever standards they want, even if those standards are based on stereotypes or "things we cannot change". On the other hand, I think saying something like "I won't date (ethnicity) because they are x, y, and z" is obviously racist, and as an individual, it's certainly worth exploring where those feelings come from. Ultimately, her point stands - my standard could be "I do not date men named Mark" and I am entitled to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 01:22 PM |
| 8 | Look out for what he says about your spending"But if she wants one thing that isn't total garbage, she'll probably want other things that aren't garbage!!!1!!1! And unfortunately I am trash" - this dude | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/20 02:33 PM |
| 11 | Look out for what he says about your spendingIt's simple really: having standards in one area of your life implies that you have standards for other parts of your life. He doesn't ever want to have to live up to anyone's (very reasonable) standards, so he belittles you, in the hopes that by making you doubt your standards in one area, you'll start to doubt your standards across the board. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/20 02:23 PM |
| 68 | Woww so appealing :$I've never done OLD but it seems like these dudes could just take a mirror selfie and write "I am a trash fire" and save themselves a lot of time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/04/20 01:13 PM |
| 17 | Compromising vs SettlingYup, agreed. I also thing women tend to be entirely too willing to compromise on things that really shouldn't be negotiable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 08:54 PM |
| 20 | Compromising vs SettlingYuuuup. "Compromise" is a word LVM can use to make all sorts of outrageous requests seem reasonable | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 08:52 PM |
| 28 | Compromising vs SettlingAbsolutely. You can't compromise on your core values. I can compromise on, say, tent camping vs staying at a cottage, but being outdoors and in nature is important to me/part of who I am, and I an not willing to give that up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 08:07 PM |
| 2 | Sis, If You Have to Write A Whole Essay Here To Ask Us Whether He is Playing You and You Should Move On...Fair enough! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 01:25 PM |
| 236 | Sis, If You Have to Write A Whole Essay Here To Ask Us Whether He is Playing You and You Should Move On...I've said it before: if you're a woman on reddit asking if you should break up with you boyfriend, the answer is yes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 07:37 PM |
| 6 | Highly intelligent women - are you with, or only date, other highly intelligent men?Can't help but echo what others are saying - there are multiple forms of intelligence, and academic intelligence is only one. That said, given the rest of your comments, it sounds like you aren't feeling mentally stimulated, which can be a problem. The question is less "who is more intelligent than whom" and more "can you respect and enjoy his particular type of intelligence?" For example, one of my exes had several degrees and excelled academically, but was so comically idiotic with practical m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/20 03:41 PM |
| 6 | The bar is on the floor.Because I like to fuck. Because this kind of behaviour is so totally normalized that it can take YEARS to realize how insulting, gross and demeaning it is. Until I met my husband, I thought the guys I was dating were fine because they were all the same and I had never been taught to demand or expect better. It wasn't until I met my husband that I realized my standards were in Hell and men were still managing to slither under them. I got better! ETA: I will say for the most part though I was at l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 12:53 PM |
| 1 | The bar is on the floor.Oh my god...the flashbacks!! Haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 12:48 PM |
| 4 | The bar is on the floor.My husband had lived on his own for years but had moved back in with his parents when he first came back to our city. His plan was to save up and buy a condo instead of renting. To me, this was fine, because: 1. He had lived on his own before 2. He had a fair reason to be at his parent's place, and 3. He had a concrete plan, with a short and reasonable timeline, to get out. Beware the man living with his parents who can't meet those three requirements. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 12:45 PM |
| 2 | Never going to date a broke man ever again.My bff once dated a guy who was super broke. He was doing a PhD and got a tiny stipend from the Uni, and "couldn't" work a part time job because he was too busy. She always had to go to him and ha g out in his filthy apartment with his 3 male roommates because he couldn't even afford a bus pass. Then he refused to get a job he felt was "beneath" him after graduating. Fuck that guy forever. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 01:40 PM |
| 10 | I want everything, I offer absolutely nothing.My reactions reading this: this guy doesn't sound so bad wait no No NO ABORT ABORT ABORT OH MY FUCKING IS HE SERIOUS NO NONONON | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 02:35 PM |
| 9 | [QUESTION] What's it like dating a HVM?He makes you a priority and you know it, and he's excited to do so. He never acts like treating you well is some favour you owe him for. Even when you fight, you feel respected. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 02:31 PM |
| 5 | But can HVM be just friends with women?Men and women *can* be friends, but it requires that men have the attitude and expectation that most women don't want their dingle and that this reality is totally fine and normal, instead of somehow cruel and unjust. It requires that men value the women in their lives as more than potential sex partners. In my experience, only a small minority of men have managed this. My husband has a number of female friends, mostly from work. They are all married and they all get together periodically to dis… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 07:45 PM |
| 62 | Husband uses sexual past against his wife. While men are allowed to fuck as many people as they like when a woman does the same they consider her sub-human. Do yourself a favor and remember: casual sex/fwb are not in your best interests.What is wrong with men? Genuinely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 03:07 PM |
| 10 | How do you distinguish the fine line between settling and making a mature decision to be with someone despite their flaws?Agreed - I think context is important here. Do you dump a guy who leaves dishes on the counter...ever? Or for more than 5 minutes? That just seems excessive. If your man GENERALLY expects you to clean up after him, it's going to be a lot of work convincing him not to - work that may never pay off. Even if he isn't malicious, those habits can be very hard to break. If your man occasionally forgets to clean up after himself, but is generally (90+ % of the time) a responsible person who doesn't tre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 01:43 PM |
| 15 | Get you a guy whose compassion, care, commitment and sense of responsibility live up to this beautiful example from the animal queendom. 🦅 🦅GET YOU A GUY WHO'S AS DECENT AS THIS BIRD Fuck, it makes me sad that we have to say this haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 07:33 PM |
| 3 | How Much is He Costing You?Okay, okay, I know this isn't the point but...did he just, like, not have a litterbox? Did he just let his cat shit wherever in the house? Or did he want you to buy him a new litterbox? There was a time I wouldn't even have considered the first option but I trust nothing anymore :D | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 07:30 PM |
| 2 | How Much is He Costing You?Well done! No more paying his bills!! Time to invest in you <3 If you invest $400 twice a month for the next 5 years WITHOUT THIS DOPE, you'll likely end up with over $60,000. AND you'll still have an extra $100/bi-weekly to spoil yourself like you deserve. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 07:28 PM |
| 1 | How Much is He Costing You?Not formally! I am just a person who is interested in the (sometimes hidden) costs of things :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 07:25 PM |
| 12 | Used fds on a male "friend". It's actually quite a relief to just let it go.I had a guy friend do that to me - essentially only messaged me when it was convenient for him and would always be like "hey I'm bored, want to hang out right now?" Our friendship ended because I wasn't immediately available to him and he never cared enough to schedule anything in advance. It was gross, and while I miss him, I don't miss putting 80% of the work into that friendship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 12:16 PM |
| 3 | How Much is He Costing You?I am genuinely still upset with myself for all the time and energy I wasted on men who were, at best, expensive pets. If even one young woman reads this and avoids my mistakes it will be more than worth it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 12:03 PM |
| 3 | How Much is He Costing You?I am tired for you after reading that :( proud of you for kicking him out! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 11:39 AM |
| 10 | How Much is He Costing You?Ugggh...I'm so glad he's out of your life! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 10:33 PM |
| 3 | How Much is He Costing You?Ah fair enough - in my location common law spouses are liable for alimony, and I've seen more than one woman get burned by it. Ultimately you have to make the best choices for yourself and your situation, which you certainly seem to be doing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 09:23 PM |
| 8 | How Much is He Costing You?You might want to consider a cohabitation agreement, something to provide some more formal protections for your assets in the event the two of you break up. Also please tell me that you've looked up the common law marriage laws in your state/country. If you have lived together for a while, you might be defacto married anyway. Especially since you earn more than he does, and may continue to do so for the foreseeable future, you could find yourself paying alimony if something were to happen. I und… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 07:07 PM |
| 19 | How Much is He Costing You?"it would have been cheaper to go to jail" holy shit :( | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 05:54 PM |
| 25 | How Much is He Costing You?Good for you! Do not move in with this man. He will just require more of your time and attention, and there is no reason to believe anything will change. I understand how scary it is out there. But is "safe" and "comfortable" good enough for you? Maybe it is - I can't make that decision for you. But is being with this person really so much better than being alone? You are clearly very strong to have survived so much abuse. You are strong enough to live happily by yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 04:40 PM |
| 22 | How Much is He Costing You?Are you guys married? I would hesitate to do what you're doing for any boyfriend, even one you've been with a very long time. You are making an investment in him, and I sincerely hope it pays off for your both. I recently went back to school, which my husband and I paid for together since it will benefit both of us. We've talked about him going back to school as well, which would likely put more of the economic burden on me. Besides the emotional aspect, also consider the domestic labour and how… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 04:08 PM |
| 15 | How Much is He Costing You?Noooooooo :( But I am really glad he is out of your life and your walllet! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 03:18 PM |
| 13 | How Much is He Costing You?Amaaaazing <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 03:18 PM |
| 25 | How Much is He Costing You?Oh for sure; the value of your mental, emotionally and physical health is so hard to compute. Sometimes it helps to see hard numbers even if they can't fully capture the true "cost" of a LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 03:17 PM |
| 29 | How Much is He Costing You?If you're ever tempted to let him back in, run the numbers on what it would cost you. It's probably more than you think! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 02:53 PM |
| 20 | How Much is He Costing You?I'm so glad he at least paid the loan back <3 also I am both horrified and not surprised that you had to PAY FOR HIS BRAKES so that he wouldn't kill his own children driving around in a death-mobile. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 02:52 PM |
| 20 | How Much is He Costing You?haha I try! Clearly I'm feeling salty. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 02:51 PM |
| 12 | “Relationships are hard” is a myth spread by pickmes who find validation in struggle love.This seems like such an obvious sentiment but too many people get caught up in the sunk-cost fallacy because they've invested too much time in a net-negative man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/20 09:05 PM |
| 27 | “Relationships are hard” is a myth spread by pickmes who find validation in struggle love.Man, yes. My marriage makes my life significantly, objectively and measurably better than it was before I got married. That doesn't mean its perfect or always hearts and rainbows, but it is, mostly, very easy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/20 07:38 PM |
| 28 | men always make themselves the victim, sven when their partner is sexually harassed.I WONDER WHY SHE DOWNPLAYED THIS WHEN TALKING TO YOU COULD IT HAVE BEEN BECAUSE YOU ARE THE WORST??? Mystery fucking solved | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/20 08:05 PM |
| 13 | $5,000 can put me in community college for 2 semesters, or rent with utilities for 4 months, or start my 401k and financial advisory plans. Everyone is framing this as cute, but I can’t imagine giving up so much.I'm still regretting paying more than my fair share on groceries for the dude I lived with 10 years ago. $5000?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/20 12:23 PM |
| 25 | I went on my first date in months.yup, it's always important to remember that the advice here needs to be used wisely and judiciously - someone you work with is a whole different situation than a random dude from OLD. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/20 03:30 PM |
| 7 | Unpopular opinion: If you're dating men in their 20s, pay more attention to their work ethic than their actual incomeBeing successful is correlated with being HV, and having "unrealized potential" is correlated with being low value, especially after 30. This does not mean that every successful man is HV or every man with potential is LV. Just that it should raise a flag. I do agree though that a 23 year-old man is going to be at a very different place than a 33 year-old man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/20 03:26 PM |
| 9 | Vet His Family, TooI think it's important to note that even if the family of origin aren't, like, abusive, it's still worth thinking about if the dynamic is one you want to deal with. Most families are kind of weird and have weird patterns or echoes of past trauma. But even the best ones may not be families you want to deal with. For example: Is his/their expectation that once you get married and have kids, you'll be spending every weekend with them? That's what he did growing up and it was great and he really wan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/20 06:06 PM |
| 4 | Marriage subreddit - training yourself to be arousedThe question is who are you doing this for and why, and I'm concerned by the parts where she talked about hating sex. "Meditating" yourself into wanting to bang your husband at all is a little weird, honestly. Meditating for yourself because it helps you relax before you have the sex you want to be having anyway is different. This specific example is hard to pin (how much of this is her being in her own head, vs actual issues with intimacy with her husband?) but I won't lie, I do something simil… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/20 05:54 PM |
| 6 | Fuck. We’ve been found out. Ladies, we need to restrategize ASAP! They’re onto us.Man I WISH I could capture and harvest souls. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/20 02:53 PM |
| 2 | How to turn your FWB/fling into a HVM boyfriend!This is a great post but you could also have just written "YOU CAN'T" because that's the ultimate truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/20 02:47 PM |
| 5 | Enough stories about LVM! Tell us a good experience you had with HVM :)Aw, thank you! I basically never brag about him IRL because it would make him self conscious (and my single friends - and most of the married ones too actually - do not want to hear it) sooo this kind of opened the floodgates haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 09:18 PM |
| 35 | Enough stories about LVM! Tell us a good experience you had with HVM :)Too many men will ignore things because they don't value it, but a HV guy will listen to your needs and meet them. <-- this is in the top 5 most important traits of a HVM in my opinion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 08:27 PM |
| 11 | Enough stories about LVM! Tell us a good experience you had with HVM :)Man, this might be long...apologies in advance! Obviously I think my husband is pretty HV, even if he isn't perfect: When we were dating, he told me exactly what his plans were (date for a year, co-habitate for a year, get engaged) and he stuck to them. He has been involved and excited about all of our "big steps" (getting an apartment, buying our first home, getting married). He is an excellent partner: he doesn't try to boss me around, but he also doesn't hang around waiting for me to do all t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 08:22 PM |
| 3 | I swear, most men on OLD don’t even proofread their bios if they bother to include one at all."Hey I'm quirky and weird let me give you zero evidence for this claim and not demonstrate it in any way okay bye" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/20 03:07 PM |
| 4 | Level Up Check-In: what have you done lately to improve yourself?Saw a specialist for some weird-ass symptoms I've been dealing with for four-ish months and got a diagnosis. Started applying for jobs. Started Al-anon to deal with various family member's alcohol issues. Re-committed to my flossing routine! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/20 02:59 PM |
| 6 | What stupid things did y'all do for a man?Explained to him that his behaviour was rude and unacceptable, then kept accepting it. I mistakenly thought he was treating me poorly out of ignorance. Nope - he just didn't care, and when I didn't walk away, he just kept being disrespectful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/20 02:53 PM |
| 35 | "Good luck finding a guy like that!": Do NOT fall for the LVM Cope.The abundance you are seeking is not "there are abundant HV men". The abundance mindset is "my life will be abundantly full and enormously wonderful with or without a man". The mindset that gives you power is the knowledge, right down to your bones, that you are enough, that you can create the most amazing life for yourself, and that this life will always be better ALONE than with a man who treats you poorly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/20 02:42 PM |
| 16 | I'd rather be single forever than deal with a manchildI used to make really nice, elaborate lunches for a former boyfriend, and instead of eating them he would go to the mall across from his work and eat fast food. Needless to say, I stopped. And dumped him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/20 02:32 PM |
| 16 | 🙄🙄🙄I would rather get a root canal without anesthesia. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 07:48 PM |
| 126 | Frogs rule, LVMs drool!"Should I break up with him and not go?" Yes, that is exactly what you should do. This is her PASSION. She's going to be a biologist and these frogs mean a lot to her. And he doesn't want them around because "they're ugly". It's not an allergy, it's not a safety hazard, he just wants to be the only cold-blooded animal in her life. Pro tip: if you're a woman on reddit asking "should I dump him?", the answer is yes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 07:45 PM |
| 38 | Healthy dating and marriage should not be this exhaustingI think it is, you just don't hear about it/see it much because those people are just toodling along, doing their thing. You will have tough periods in even very good marriages but if your default is "love is hard", that's a problem. My marriage is generally mostly easy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/20 06:46 PM |
| 215 | Healthy dating and marriage should not be this exhaustingIf marriage is hard more than like 10% of the time (baring major life stresses) GET A FUCKING DIVORCE, sheesh. Love, a married lady. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/20 06:02 PM |
| 15 | Y’all making alt-accounts, DMing is, telling us how we’re wrong. But when did we ask? 🤨 We don’t want your input, we don’t want none of it. You guys are so salty and hurt cause we’re right.I've gotten so many weird message requests since I started commenting on this sub, genuinely wild stuff. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 03:20 PM |
| 93 | Check Out His Medicine Cabinet to See If He Has Any "Red Flag" MedsMy immediate gut reaction to this is to feel like it's such an invasion of privacy, but honestly think about it: if you're following FDS guidelines, you're probably several months in to knowing a man by the time you go to his house. He has had plenty of time to tell you directly about any of his mental or physical health issues. You shouldn't have to snoop, but if you do and you find out things that he really should have told you directly, I can't be that upset for him. If you've been dating som… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 04:58 PM |
| 9 | Her husband has literally no adulting skills. He’s 32 and refuses to adult.I'm so glad somebody told her the truth! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 03:33 PM |
| 9 | Her husband has literally no adulting skills. He’s 32 and refuses to adult.She's enabling him. It feels nice to help people like this but ultimately you aren't helping them; they need to work to get over it, or hit rock-bottom and finally seek help. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 03:32 PM |
| 5 | We’re going out for Saturday night drinks and out of nowhere he says ‘my flat mate is really sexy’ I go back home. My friend says I overreacted and I should be coolerCame here for this...definitely gauging her possible interest in a three some. Either that or just really dim. Regardless, why waste her time? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 03:14 PM |
| 1 | How do I cope?I am going to suggest reframing your mindset. Think about all the freedom you have now; to plan, dream, learn, explore. You have so much time you aren't wasting on him. There is so much room in your life for wonderful people (friends and family especially). Yes, you have to see him, and that's going to be hard for a while. But you will be surprised at how quickly it stops being hard. Focus on yourself and the people you care about. Call your family. Do something really thoughtful for your best f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 03:11 PM |
| 9 | After 6 months of no contact The wild narcissist appears. 5 years of nothing but sacrifice for a man. It feels good to know he’s upset his power is gone. “You deserve, but I probably can’t” lmao I know. Always that making a negative seem positive. (You ladies have done wonders showing me the light)Please tell me you sent him the poop emoji and then blocked him | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 02:00 PM |
| 16 | Being “broke” is not an excuse for him to not do anything for you on Valentines Day!I've never met a man who's too broke to buy or make a heartfelt card, and I've known some broke dudes. One friend of an ex was unemployed over Valentine's while living with his girlfriend, who was in school at the time. They were two of the poorest people I know. Dude made her a fucking video, recording himself on his laptop and taught himself how to edit and do effects in some pirated video editing software. He showed it to my then-boyfriend and I and we were both really impressed; he must have… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 09:13 PM |
| 142 | My ex-husband is in jail. He still managed to send me flowers to my workplace for Valentines DayMy husband told me the other day "you can never be an inconvenience because you are always my first priority" and honestly if your man don't feel the same dump him in the trash | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 08:49 PM |
| 6 | Why are men so unattractive (cough cough UGLY) in comparison to women on dating appsI think it's a combination of issues: men put a lot less work into maintaining their looks compared to women, on average. They might go to the gym but they often still eat like trash, may have never gotten a real haircut/are going bald, have never encountered moisturizer, etc. They also tend to be worse at taking pictures/having their pictures taken, probably because they just don't do it as often. Good lighting/properly fitted clothing/decent angles would do so much for these mediocre dudes, bu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 06:18 PM |
| 4 | Please stay woke about the current Male mental health debate- manipulative low value men WILL use this to their advantageI have enormous sympathy for men (and women obviously) who are struggling with mental health, and I hope they get the help and support they need. But I ain't gonna date them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 05:46 PM |
| 9 | Keep finances separate!Yup, and consider that pre-nups can only protect assets obtained outside of the marriage which your spouse cannot in any way be said to contribute to. Basically, when you're married, your finances are mingled regardless of what your bank account set up is. Do keep at least a separate savings account and credit card that he can't access though, just in case your husband decides to go really rogue and tries to drain your accounts or freeze your credit cards/run up bills. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/20 06:57 PM |
| 9 | Keep finances separate!You are right - once you're married you really can't keep your finances "separate" - it's an illusion. If divorce happens, pretty much any assets you acquired during the marriage are fair game (with a few specific exceptions). I do think that it's a good idea to keep other separate accounts that your partner doesn't have access to on the chance, however slim, that he turns out to be a predatory manipulator and tries to drain your accounts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/20 06:54 PM |
| 9 | 7 Bad Reasons You're Dating LVMRight, I was unclear: I agree with you. My point was that most of the items on my list are choices, but when you live in that kind of grinding poverty, its hard to argue that you have the agency to make good choices. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/20 12:42 PM |
| 30 | 7 Bad Reasons You're Dating LVMFacts. Although most of these are choices - when you're trapped due to financial dependence, you have no choices. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/20 01:58 AM |
| 11 | Focus on a mans character consistency and behaviour patterns, not just how he initially makes you ‘feel’ or what he ‘says’You can put a clown in a tux but that doesn't make him husband material. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/20 10:55 PM |
| 63 | 7 Bad Reasons You're Dating LVMGirl I'm sorry I'm sure you have a magical vag but all it does is convince mediocre men that they deserve amazing sex 😢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/20 10:48 PM |
| 12 | 7 Bad Reasons You're Dating LVMHaha thanks! Glad to be useful :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/20 09:06 PM |
| 8 | Guy call me half attractive..."It's really nice that we can be honest with each other! You're a 3.5, but I didn't want to tell you because I thought it might hurt your feelings, but now we can both work on ourselves :) " --> don't actually do this because he isn't worth your time. I know he's like a friend of a friend but I would just respond with "k" or something and stop talking to him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 02:30 PM |
| 10 | Would you accept any low value traits, if the high value traits outweigh them?In my opinion, there are behaviours/traits that are LV in and of themselves (selfishness, irritability, impatience, lack of generosity, low intelligence, etc) and then there traits or behaviours that are merely correlated to LV behaviour (ie., gaming). A man who plays video games occasionally can hardly be said to be low value for that reason alone. A man who watched porn occasionally before he met you, but respects that you feel it is cheating and boundary violation and agrees to stop when you … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 02:37 PM |
| 25 | For Valentine’s Day please act like the HVW you areHonestly, it isn't that exciting, but if you want, get yourself a bouquet so it doesn't impress you too much when someone else does. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 04:32 PM |
| 30 | Girl who desperately needs a lecture not looking to be lectured."My husband forgot to do the dishes last night, but he's a great guy and I love him": sure "My husband has ruined his life and mine and hasn't made any efforts to solve any of our issues, but he's a great guy and I love him": WHAT THE FUCK DUDES | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 03:51 PM |
| 19 | Disgusting AND rudeI do think some men are delusional, rather than malicious. I know too many men who are too dim to be doing this shit on purpose. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 03:21 PM |
| 57 | For Valentine’s Day please act like the HVW you areAlso, for the love of god, do not reward low-effort gifts with effusive praise. I'm not saying everybody has to go all out for Valentines day - it happens to be a holiday I do not give AF about, and if my husband "surprises" me with a box of chocolates from the drugstore around the corner, that's fine! I will thank him nicely and eat them happily, but I won't be acting like I've never seen a praline before. If your dude shows up 10 minutes late to the dinner you're cooking him with a bottle of g… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 03:17 PM |
| 4 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindAw man, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 06:46 PM |
| 2 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindThanks! And sometimes a lesson is so important, we have to learn it twice ;) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 06:45 PM |
| 2 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindThank you! I did this like THREE FUCKING TIMES before I learned, hopefully everybody else can avoid doing that :P | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:43 PM |
| 2 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindIt was one of the most important things I've learned in my life | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:42 PM |
| 16 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindIn a way, I envy them: they've done the math, and they've figured out that they can get like 80-85% of what they want out of life while only putting in the bare minimum of effort (because most of what they want is internet/porn, cheap booze, maybe some weed, and pizza). This feels comfortable and safe, if ultimately unfulfilling, and I've found that a lot of guys will trade pretty much everything for comfortable and safe. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:42 PM |
| 6 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindHahaha thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:35 PM |
| 12 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindAw thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:34 PM |
| 14 | If He Has to Be Dragged, Leave Him BehindEvery. Single. Time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:34 PM |
| 3 | When he thinks one date will get him a ticket to pound town.Yeah I broke out into hives when I read that not once, but twice. Eeeechhh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 07:37 PM |
| 176 | "I was blindsided!!!"After dumping my second boyfriend (and longest relationship to that point) my ex had the gal to admit that if he'd actually put in some effort and tried 10% harder I probably wouldn't have dumped him. Straight from the horse's mouth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 07:29 PM |
| 37 | Marriage gogglesI am married to someone wonderful who adds enormous value to my life, but I would absolutely agree with this. At this point in my life I am much less pro-marriage, and would seriously caution any woman considering it. Even good marriages take a lot of work, time, and energy. Yes, you share costs, and you can work together to meet financial, personal and professional goals, but you will still have a lot of work to do. I imagine it's a bit like having kids: you can't imagine how much work it is un… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 06:50 PM |
| 20 | Women in relationships: What was your dating journey?FDS didn't exist, this was a while ago, but I was like 90% sure my husband was a secret fuckboy. He was so nice to me! IT MUST BE A TRAP. So basically I kept him at arms length and didn't do my usual song-and-dance, look-at-how-cool-I-am, minimizing my personality and people-pleasing on overdrive. I wasn't mean to him, but I was extremely suspicious and kept being exactly who and what I was, convinced that he would leave once he realized he couldn't manipulate me. Well, turns out he was actually… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 09:20 PM |
| 47 | Have you ever noticed men will date literally *anyone* once they decide they want a relationship?In part yes, timing is weirdly important to men. On the other hand, I think a lot of men just don't know what they want - or know that they should want one thing, but actually truly desire something else, even if it's toxic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 09:04 PM |
| 16 | ePiC pWn MY BOI! The best part is a highly upvoted comment, “minimalism is awesome” lmao. Nah dude you’re just lazy and broke. The average redditor is a LVM so let’s stop concerning ourselves with all their MRA trash subreddits and what they have to say about women. They are not on our radar.I don't think I dated a single man from 20-25 who *didn't* do this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 08:59 PM |
| 9 | ePiC pWn MY BOI! The best part is a highly upvoted comment, “minimalism is awesome” lmao. Nah dude you’re just lazy and broke. The average redditor is a LVM so let’s stop concerning ourselves with all their MRA trash subreddits and what they have to say about women. They are not on our radar.I knew a dude who just lived on a couch in his buddy's living room for like 8 months. He was full-time 9-5 employed in a respectable industry, too. He was just that cheap. ETA: and before you ask, yes he had a girlfriend! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 08:56 PM |
| 31 | ePiC pWn MY BOI! The best part is a highly upvoted comment, “minimalism is awesome” lmao. Nah dude you’re just lazy and broke. The average redditor is a LVM so let’s stop concerning ourselves with all their MRA trash subreddits and what they have to say about women. They are not on our radar.Or, they don't want anyone else to know that they know because then they might have to spend some of their pot money on a second set of sheets | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 07:31 PM |
| 65 | ePiC pWn MY BOI! The best part is a highly upvoted comment, “minimalism is awesome” lmao. Nah dude you’re just lazy and broke. The average redditor is a LVM so let’s stop concerning ourselves with all their MRA trash subreddits and what they have to say about women. They are not on our radar.I don't give a shit that men want to sit in a mostly-empty apartment and "be happy" so long as they never try to get me to come over. The problem is not that LVM are living like this; it's that they expect attractive, successful women to have sex with them on a single mattress from 1994. It's your entitlement that drives me crazy, not your pathetic lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 07:29 PM |
| 6 | The Difference Between Building and SupportingPREACH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 07:17 PM |
| 37 | Don’t stay in a toxic situation because it feels like “giving up”. LVM deserve to be given up on.Do not fall into the sunk cost fallacy - just because you've "invested" so much into a dude, that is no reason to keep investing! Cut your losses and go. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 03:56 PM |
| 7 | The Difference Between Building and SupportingYuuuup. We tend to do way too much too soon, either out of kindness or because we lack self-esteem and believe that by giving and doing, we will convince a man we're "worthy" (baarrffff). Men can sense this insecurity - if you tell/show a man that you don't really deserve him (even if all evidence points to the contrary) he's going to start to believe you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 07:42 PM |
| 16 | The Difference Between Building and SupportingSooooo true. It's often really easy to justify enabling too: he's so busy, he's not a strong writer, he has anxiety - girl no, he's just lazy. Stop. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 04:21 PM |
| 10 | The Difference Between Building and SupportingThank you! And I couldn't agree more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 04:18 PM |
| 36 | The Difference Between Building and SupportingUhhh so so so true. Men will only ever do things exactly when they are ready, even if those things are obviously needed and could only improve his life. Wasting your time trying to convince a dude to do the things he needs to do to be better is absolutely soul-draining. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 04:17 PM |
| 8 | Why do men even want forever girlfriends?LVM are cowards who would rather be content with the status quo, even if they think they can "do better", unless they have "better" literally right in front of them. Also they get everything they want for literally zero effort. Sounds like a great deal! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 01:55 AM |
| 2 | Dudes who complain about women with fake butts/boobs don’t seem to realize they’re not the target audienceI once had a male boss tell me he didn't like my new glasses. I responded cheerfully (without really thinking) "I don't care if you like them" and he sort of stopped, nodded, and went "oh okay". "I'm not asking you to like it" has also come out of my mouth more than once. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 05:35 PM |
| 3 | Comedy hour: How has karma treated your LVM ex?I've told this story before but mine almost choked to death 2 weeks after dumping me. I still smile when I think of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 05:21 PM |
| 12 | One piece of dating advice you'd give your younger self and why?Stop. Trying. To. Fix. Them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 02:34 PM |
| 3 | How to to weed out any LVMEhhh number 11 is a weird one - I don't know anybody who wasn't "bullied" at some point. Abuse sure, but like, I was bullied? I just...don't really care. It was a long time ago and doesn't define me and frankly never did. However, if a dude you've never met is telling you all about the bullying/abuse he's suffered, he's trying to emotionally manipulate you. Do not engage! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/20 03:36 PM |
| 1 | What is the psychology behind fuckbois who cry about completely inconsequential stuff (like random celebrities dying) but don’t bat an eyelash at things that actually matter?It is much safer to have feelings for people you will never meet, who can be as perfect as you want them to be and can never disappoint you with their messy human needs. Hero worship asks no vulnerability of you. I also wonder how many of these dudes think of celebrities as more important than the "average" person, who doesn't deserve any of their precious concern (they are also better than average, which is why they don't need to be nice to you). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/20 03:07 PM |
| 5 | Men think we’re supposed to sell a leg and two eyes on the black market to keep them happy 🤮🤮🤮You can re-caption an image very easily? For jokes! Some Funny Person could easily re-caption an image with something so stupid that it has to be satire. Although the fucked up part is that it is totally possible that some dog turd of a man really made this sincerely. That's the awful thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 04:50 PM |
| 6 | Be aware of the shut up ringEh, I understand why people take a bit longer - like, if you get engaged at Christmas will you really have the time/energy to pull off a wedding in 6-9 months (assuming you want to get married in the summer/fall)? 18 months or so is pretty much the longest I would consider because after that there really is no excuse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 02:55 PM |
| 13 | Men think we’re supposed to sell a leg and two eyes on the black market to keep them happy 🤮🤮🤮Pretty sure this is satire...or just very stupid. I read this image as "girl lost a leg? your man is gonna surprise you (hence the blindfold) with a new Mercedes because you're too bougie to be rolling around in a wheelchair" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 02:35 PM |
| 11 | 30 Yr old male suddenly realizes “The Wall” for women is a Red Pill Revenge FantasyHot people are hot, more news at 11. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 03:24 PM |
| 2 | Wives/serious daters of FDS-What do you think of your SO attending bachelor parties?My husband just isn't a bachelor-party type. Although, I've seen some pretty tame ones (let's go to an escape room and then a brewery!) which he would probably be into. Not every bachelor party is a stripper-and-champagne thing? My husband and I actually did a co bachelor(ette) party because we're both grossed out by the over-sexualised nature of those events, and we both have mixed-sex friends so it would have been weird to split them up arbitrarily. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 03:05 PM |
| 12 | Nice Guys, Here’s Why You *REALLY* Got Rejected.I actually did curve my husband at first because he was "too nice" - by which I mean, he was so kind that I assumed it was an act and that he was actually an asshole pretending to be nice. Turns out he's actually just a really fucking good person though, and when I realized he was sincere I was VERY INTO IT | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 02:45 PM |
| 11 | I..... SighI once saw someone post this kind of thing with the caption "I would rather cook rice one at a time" and yes, absolutely | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/19 08:40 PM |
| 7 | Male are NOT more rational than woman, exhibit no. 7547486548People say shit like this because a boy becoming a man is an act of increasing power but when a little girl becomes a woman she's losing power. We don't worry as much about teen boys because they are more likely to be the abusers than the abused, not because they're less emotional. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/19 08:20 PM |
| 26 | Ladies, what to do when a man reveals a micropenis?I've had two dudes on the smaller size like 3-4 inches (not a true micro). I honestly think I could have dealt with it if they had bothered to learn literally anything about my body/other stimulation. They were both kind of awful people, but frankly the penis thing was the least of their issues. Obviously YMMV | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 09:23 PM |
| 5 | Woman wastes 7 years of her life dating a “Forever Boyfriend”, is jealous of friends who are getting engaged, married. Never waste time as a “forever girlfriend!!!”Agreed - the dude I dated at 18 was an okay human but thank DOG I didn't marry him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 09:36 PM |
| 2 | What's the most hilariously stupid thing a guy has done on a date with you and how did you react versus how do you wish you'd reacted?I haven't had all that many really bad dates, but my most handsome ex was dumber than a wet shoe and I wish I had dumped him early on. He forgot his wallet on our first date and I had to buy him a sandwich (honestly, I probably still would if I could go back in time, because I feel bad for anyone who hasn't eaten all day...but I would not go out on a second date). He occasionally wore his pants inside-out. He was tall and walked into my dinning room light fixture every time he came over...for tw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/19 09:27 PM |
| 89 | RED FLAGS: Signs a Man Should Be Cut OffI died at "you're white, Neil" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/19 07:24 PM |
| 15 | Men with bad diets are automatically LVMy husband was raised basically without fresh vegetables and was a "picky eater". I told him directly that I wouldn't be putting up with that and from day 1 he would eat anything and everything. He's still not a great cook but he can keep himself alive, which is my minimum. Also, and this is critical, he NEVER complains about anything I make and he is actively appreciative of all the veggies in his life. An ignorant man with a positive attitude who realizes that he needs to do better but doesn't… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/19 02:41 PM |
| 21 | RED FLAGS: Signs a Man Should Be Cut OffCheating on me Hadn't cleaned his stove in a year | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/19 02:29 PM |
| 80 | It's About More Than Paying For Dates - Some ExamplesIts all housework, I get what you're saying, but I describe it as "helping around the house" regardless of who does it. I help around the house, he helps around the house, the cat and the dog are freeloaders. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 11:34 PM |
| 45 | It's About More Than Paying For Dates - Some ExamplesI literally didn't realize that men were capable of doing better, until I met one that did. Hoping nobody else has to wait that long :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 07:51 PM |
| 31 | It's About More Than Paying For Dates - Some ExamplesNoooope. I've met men, they are often...underwhelming. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 06:57 PM |
| 18 | It's About More Than Paying For Dates - Some ExamplesAttitude matters! Your dude sounds like a good one :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 06:45 PM |
| 40 | It's About More Than Paying For Dates - Some ExamplesSee, this is the thing: I think so too, but should I? I would do all these things for my partner and consider it the basics. It has taken me a long-ass time to realize that men are capable of the same level of relationship-performance, and it shouldn't be special! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 06:44 PM |
| 2 | Ladies, I need to know if I’m overreacting or if I should block - I feel pretty disrespected in this exchange.Yeah no, "I had nothing else to do, do you want to hang out?" is the definition of low-effort. Not "I want to see you"; not "when can we hang out"; not even "this last minute-minute thing came up that I thought you might really like so I was hoping you were free??" "I have nothing to do: wanna bang?" is an invitation you should always turn down. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/19 03:50 PM |
| 6 | Her husband is telling her she won’t please him enough after she has their baby, absolutely disgusting and no excuse for thisI was gonna say that he is already cheating and hoping she'll "give him permission" once the baby is born so he looks like less of a complete asshole. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/19 03:29 PM |
| 26 | After being stood up twice, I stopped responding. It’s “my fault” we broke up, he deserved a conversation!"I get that you're upset that I decided not to do the thing I agreed to do in advance, but honestly, I think you should really see this as your fault for not being more understanding of how shitty I am." Ughhh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 09:05 PM |
| 2 | Finally tased this A-holeAlso, uh, delete this post. The fact that you talk about enjoying tasing him (which, man of course you did, what an absolute shit-head) may come back to bite you in the ass. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 08:55 PM |
| 2 | Finally tased this A-holeYou are very welcome <3 the police may not do anything/may ask you whether you want to press charges and you may indicate that you don't (honestly, unless people saw him smack your ass or grab you, it will be hard to get any kind of charges to stick). Also, can I suggest you talk to a lawyer as well? There may be legal aid available at your University and frankly you may need the support. Protect yourself. Unfortunately the legal system is absolute shit in this regard. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 08:53 PM |
| 11 | Finally tased this A-holeOh hun, you poor thing. Listen, I don't want to freak you out, but you do need to go to the police. What you did may be seen as assault, and if he reports you then you could be in deep shit. Is it legal to carry tasers where you are? First, write down every single thing that has ever happened with him, with dates, times, locations, and other witnesses (make a spreadsheet if you have to). If something comes of this and you end up in trouble, your "reliability" as a witness will be called into que… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 06:37 PM |
| 9 | KickHimOut2020Yuuuup. I am willing to concede that there are definitely lovely men that age currently living with their parents (heck, I married one). There may even be men that age who have never moved out who are nonetheless independent, responsible adults, but I have never met one, and I wouldn't advise any woman I was friends with to bet on those odds. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 04:48 PM |
| 24 | KickHimOut2020Important to suss out why though - my husband moved back in with his parents when he came back to the city so he could save up and buy a place. Had lived on his own for like 10 years at that point. Even if it's cultural, I would still be SUPER hesitant to date a man who had *never* lived on his own at 35. All the ones I've met had an extreme aversion to any kind of housework and were perpetually under-employed man-children. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 04:13 PM |
| 2 | What happens after you let them have it?In my experience they feel really bad and you laugh at their suffering :) Had one ex ask me to meet up just to tell me I was right about everything, my "demands" from him were completely reasonable and if he had just tried 10% harder I probably wouldn't have dumped him. My response? "Yes. And?" Hopefully he treats the next girl better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/19 06:56 PM |
| 2 | How Can You Tell If A Man Will Be Good In Bed? (MEGATHREAD)Thinking about the literal dozen lawyers I know: ....huh kinda yeah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/19 03:33 PM |
| 110 | How Can You Tell If A Man Will Be Good In Bed? (MEGATHREAD)A man who insists on talking about his dingle has a mediocre one, guaranteed. Also, avoid men who want to argue with you about your preferences. Arguing about opinions/having a debate is fine (ie., "I think politician X is actually worse than politician Y, for the following reasons") but if you tell a man what you like in a non-sexual context and he belittles you or tries to make it an argument, he will absolutely do the same thing in bed. You: "I really like vanilla ice cream, I'm just not a fa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/19 05:26 PM |
| 0 | I need y’all to shame me. Cuss me ou till I get my head straight.You know better. I am very disappointed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/19 04:53 PM |
| 39 | Excellent... refuse to make your self small for a man, let him meet you at the topI've never intimidated a man worth taking to. Sincerely, an intimidating woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/19 04:49 PM |
| 25 | Queen Sh*t MegathreadThis is not in a relationship context, but I'm taking a course with a middle-aged white dude who thinks the sun shines out of him ass. I was trying to speak to the (female) instructor and he literally just started talking over me. I didn't stop talking and neither she nor I even looked at him. When that didn't work he tried to talk over me again, but louder. At this point she couldn't hear me, so I stopped until he finished and then resumed as if he'd never spoken, and our instructor, bless her,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/19 03:52 PM |
| 2 | Young Men Perfectly Happy Being Useless Perpetual ChildrenTrying to work on your issues to get your shit together is very valuable! We all have to go through times of growth and struggle; that's entirely different than actively deciding to be mediocre forever because you're lazy :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/19 08:56 PM |
| 6 | HV ManI've been sick as a fucking dog and my husband did some chores that I was going to do after my nap, without me asking went out and got us dinner without asking because he knew I was going to try to cook something and shouldn't be allowed near a stove got out of bed early to drive me to work even though he didn't need to be at work till noon. HVM like to take care of and support other people, not because they are trying to "get something" or get brownie points or trick you, but because they just … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/19 08:54 PM |
| 20 | Young Men Perfectly Happy Being Useless Perpetual ChildrenI'm friends with dudes like this. I have dated (and dumped) men like this. I did not MARRY a man like this though. I married a man with a career, but more than that, I married a man who had some goddamn courage and ambition. You know why these men are so repulsive to women? Because they are telling us - loud and clear- that they are trying to do the absolute least possible amount of work for the maximum amount of fun and pleasure. These men have done the math and have realized that just barely s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/19 01:00 AM |
| 3 | Basic life skills BS - the quizYes you've described some of the guys I've dated :) rude and cheap is basically their entire personality | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 08:37 PM |
| 4 | Basic life skills BS - the quizYou're reminding me on an ex who used to put three pillow cases (ie., all he owned) on his pillows at the same time, and just slowly peel them off like 1/month. I pointed out to him that his greasy disgusting self was still sinking through into all the layers and he basically told me I was wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 03:54 PM |
| 7 | "You are gonna end up all alone!" Yes, and couldn't be happier about it!I was joking with my mom about dying alone, and she (a nurse and a savage) laughed and said "oh sweetie, everybody dies alone!" It was the cheery nihilism of the statement that really got me :D | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 03:50 PM |
| 5 | Basic life skills BS - the quizdon't forget that nice big yellow stain in the middle | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 03:47 PM |
| 1 | Not gonna be your slutty therapist!!OH SHIT IT'S MY EX hahah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 03:24 PM |
| 4 | Gentle Sunday reminderMy husband is military and had to go into an all day conference with some high level people; they literally made everybody leave their phones, etc, at the security desk (we weren't married at the time - I don't think we were even engaged yet). Even though it was only going to be like 6-8 hours, he still told me the night before, AND sent me a message just before he went in, so I would know that he wasn't ignoring me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 03:20 PM |
| 12 | Basic life skills BS - the quiz- only has one pillow that is 99% dandruff. Doesn't understand why you don't want to sleep over. - makes you feel guilty because he "goes through so much toilet paper" when you stay over - the only thing is his fridge is beer, half a leftover pizza, three slices of stale bread and expired mustard. Makes fun of you/tries to make you feel guilty for suggesting you go out to eat. - doesn't know that you need to wipe down counters (like, ever) - thinks deodorant is a replacement for showering - thin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/19 03:15 PM |
| 2 | I can't function unless I get more control over the furniture in my home.Bless this post and everything about it <3 haha I also happen to love a man who is particular and obstinate! So, I get it. However, I will say that no man I know has ever changed because he feels like he has to. He changes because he wants to, or not at all. I think you have to let go of the idea that he doesn't trust you, or doesn't love you, or that this is about you in any way. It really sounds like it isn't; it sounds like he's just a dude who likes to have a bunch of crappy furniture and mu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/19 03:43 PM |
| 3 | Look Hotter If You Want To Get a BoyfriendI agree, but I think it's worth being realistic about your image. If you want to date a professional, and you look like a rainbow scene kid, you are less likely to date a professional (unless they also happen to be a secret scene kid). That's also why I said "adopting the pieces that feel natural/flattering to you". You don't have to change "type" in order to "get a man", but you are also more than your outfit, and imagining that you can look and act like the opposite of whatever you're trying t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/19 05:23 PM |
| 6 | Look Hotter If You Want To Get a BoyfriendA note: "look hotter" is generic, I would specify "look like the kind of (hot) girl the guys you want are trying to date". High glamour/lots of makeup works in some situations, but not all dudes go for that. Some guys prefer a more subtle/natural look or preppy look. Same with body type; you want a gym dude, you probably should look like you go to the gym (lean and muscular). Some guys/subcultures prefer a thinner/less muscular aesthetic, some like curvier, edgier, whatever. You want to date an … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/19 04:23 PM |
| 44 | “I’m not like other girls”Forget chill - be Ice Fucking Cold. If a guy can't be bothered to treat you with the same minimum of respect he'd give a moderately busy dentists' office, next him yesterday. If you want to spend time with me, you have to book in advance unless it's a legit emergency, you have to give me 24 hours notice to cancel, and you have to show up on time. Watch what a man does: he can manage to do all three to get a goddamn cavity filled, he could do it for you if he wanted. Mind you I have this rule for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/19 05:22 PM |
| 10 | Breaking point in 6yr LTRUnfortunately, "I'm not sure I want to marry you" is the same, practically speaking, as "I don't want to marry you". That's horrible and hard to hear. It sucks and it hurts. And if you want to be married, if that is important to you, you need to treat it the way it is. You have been very convenient for him for six years, which I'm sure has been lovely for him. But, he isn't sure he wants to marry you. And he may never be. If you want to be married, I would recommend you start looking to leave. Y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/19 01:44 PM |
| 3 | 🤔 How do I convince him to take the next step?Ehh, my husband told me directly after six months that he wanted to date for a year, live together for a year, and then get engaged. I didn't pressure him about it because I knew he was serious about his plan, and this was the time for BOTH of us to decide if the relationship was right. He proposed to me 21 months after we started dating. I don't think you can out an exact cap on the amount of time a man takes to marry you, especially if you're young. But you have to know your man is serious and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/19 12:06 AM |
| 3 | Apparently she has been too busy with 12K insta photos to find a man. With that inviting face and list of bitchy demands, she should just stick with IG.I know nothing about this person except that she's overweight and has already decided that the people she's matching with aren't good enough for her. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 16/10/19 04:23 PM |
| 3 | Independent bad ass complains how low value other men see her as."Want a guy on the same level as me" and "I work in customer service"; yet somehow all these men are "low value"? squints in retail | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 16/10/19 04:13 PM |
| 12 | What is the worst behavior you’ve experienced from a boyfriend?Guy pressured me to have sex without condoms and then accused me of giving him chlamydia. I did not have chlamydia. He also told me that ignoring his texts triggered the PTSD he got from dating a girl who had been raped. (She had PTSD, and dating her was hard because of it, thus he also developed PTSD. Apparently). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/19 07:55 PM |
| 1 | [39F]"I am a single mother of 3 boys!!! I might b the one!!"Man, there is something so depressing about "Education : High school" and "Profession : Retail" with 3 kids. All I can see is "working poor : no chance for a better life" but maybe I'm a dick. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 09/10/19 03:50 PM |
| 47 | Welcome the God fearing skank, who is tired of being used and abused as a sex doll. CAUTION: she expects a ladylike treatment and nothing lessThis person has done a lot of drugs | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 01/10/19 02:27 PM |
| 2 | [19F] Stressing over when I should be settling down. Is there enough time?I have a friend like you - had her whole life planned out at 15. She is married to her high school sweet-heart. She did her uni, got her dream career, and was on track to start having kids by 25 right as she was finishing her Masters. Everything was going according to plan. Then she got cancer. They got through it, but it changed everything. She had to put off having kids for 5 years. She had to leave her job for a while. She couldn't do her Masters. She had to give up control. Planning is good.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/19 01:48 PM |
| 11 | Where are all the tall, rich, handsome menSometimes when I don't feel like going to the gym I visit facebook, take a look at all the "popular" "cool" kids who've totally ballooned in the 15 years since we left high school, shudder, and get my ass to the gym. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 30/09/19 02:50 PM |
| 1 | Why Invisibility Shocks WomenYup, but she doesn't think she's doing that. Women really do believe they aren't "that" shallow. | /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre | 22/09/19 12:01 AM |
| 3 | Why Invisibility Shocks WomenIf they turn out to be [complete trash] then we dump their asses Very important step right there | /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre | 16/09/19 03:07 PM |
| 11 | For real though, what’s the point of even being a red pill woman in today’s world?Man, there's a lot to unpack here... To your broader question "what's the point of being RPW in today's world?" I can tell you that having a different perspective on myself and my behaviours, regardless of what the dudes around me are doing, has been a tremendous help. It has made my marriage stronger to learn to STFU, to recognize when my brain is being dumb (I can tell when my brain is trying to convince me to branch-swing, and now I just go back to focusing on how great my husband is instead … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/19 05:46 PM |
| 5 | Has anyone here thought that they would never get married but ended up getting married?I was certain I was never going to get married. Literally no woman in my close family (grandmother, aunts, mom) were married. Marriage seemed foreign and strange and besides, I was sure I didn't have the skills for it. Actually I was pretty certain I didn't have the skills for long-term romantic relationships at all, so I did a lot of research. I learned about communication styles, romantic styles, anger, jealous, men and women - and eventually, my reading led me here. I've always been fascinate… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/19 02:56 PM |
| 3 | What do you guys think about Mormon women (mainstream non-polygamists)?That's fair - I think it's more that the specific implication (if you're sad it's because you're a shitty Christian) means that people feel they have no healthy way of expressing negative emotions. I think that's the crux of the toxicity - it's one thing to say "try to keep your chin up and be pleasant regardless of what happens because God has a plan" vs "Bad things are happening in your life? It's your fault for not being pious enough". | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/19 02:16 PM |
| 5 | What are your favorite physical appearance pro tips?Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner - they're what you use the most and they really do make a difference. I like the TIGI Bed Head Regenerize Shampoo and Conditioner duo (green bottles). I have very long (mid-back), fine, somewhat thin and oily hair, so I don't go more than two days without washing my hair unless I want to look incredibly greasy. Make sure you thoroughly work/massage your shampoo into your roots. I'll usually leave it for 2-5 minutes to really work in. Then rinse, and apply… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/19 04:19 PM |
| 7 | What do you guys think about Mormon women (mainstream non-polygamists)?I mean, there is a difference between being "modest" and being unattractive. So they will tend to wear more modest/less revealing clothes and more natural/subtle makeup, but there is definitely a HUGE pressure to be "beautiful" in a Godly way. It's not necessarily spoken about/overt (the church doesn't teach "be hot") but if you HAD to get married to go to Heaven and do the only thing God wants you to do, you would absolutely use every avenue to make that happen. I have also read a bit about the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/19 03:04 PM |
| 1 | How did you meet your boyfriend/husband?13 years ago at a mutual hobby. We were friendly acquaintances. I got a weird vibe from him because he was a little neckbeardy at the time, but he's gotten better :D reconnected 4 years ago. Went on a couple dates, ended things, dated a really pathetic dude, reconnected with my man, started dating seriously. Moved in together after 1 year. Bought a house/got engaged 11 months after that. Married 3 months and I can't believe how lucky I got. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/19 02:57 PM |
| 3 | What do you guys think about Mormon women (mainstream non-polygamists)?My understanding (and please correct me if I'm wrong) is that they face a LOT of pressure to constantly smile, be happy, and act like nothing is very wrong. This pressure comes from the Prosperity Doctrine, which essentially states that if you believe in God and follow His teachings He will reward you materially. The unfortunate corollary to this ends up being that if you are struggling with your marriage or finances or health, it's because you aren't following God properly/aren't pious ENOUGH, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/19 02:45 PM |
| 4 | There's always something wrong with EVERY guy she dates. She wonders possibly, just a teeny bit possibly, that there's something wrong with her.Man....this is enraging. Some people will literally never be satisfied. Her problem, well one of them, is that she is looking for "excitement". Her alcoholic ex was "exciting". Her toxic relationships? "Exciting"! Her criteria are shit. She puts sexual excitement, attractiveness, and being well-dressed above loyalty, kindness, health, etc etc etc. That's understandable if you're 19 and a moron, but jesus, at 40, you should've learned. You should know better by now. But...nope. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 05/09/19 08:03 PM |
| 9 | What's the one thing you disagree regarding TRPW theory?I have female friends who absolutely should not be married with kids. It would be hell for them, their partner and their kids. I'd glad they can go be CEOs and head their own law firms, because it would be stupid to force them into either poverty or a marriage that would be awful for everyone involved. However, they represent like 5-10% of the female population. I think our mistake was assuming that the outliers represented the norm. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/19 07:38 PM |
| 25 | What's the one thing you disagree regarding TRPW theory?This is just me being nit-picky, but: I agree with a lot of the observed phenomena of TRP, but not necessarily the explanation for it. It is, after all, just a theory, and "evolutionary biology" is a damn hard thing to prove empirically. I don't think it necessarily matters, though. Did I branch-swing in my youth because I was hypergamously seeking the best Alpha? Or because I was a serial monogamist and afraid of being alone? Or because I recognized that my current boyfriends were not right for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/19 07:35 PM |
| 16 | What's the one thing you disagree regarding TRPW theory?In my experience 80-90% of all people age like milk. I do think that women tend to (not always, of course), age more drastically, possibly because of motherhood or menopause. Or maybe it would be better to say that the sudden aging happens at different points - a lot of dudes I knew in highschool gained weight and lost all their hair by 22-23, but otherwise look the same 10 years later. A lot of the women I knew looked more-or-less the same until they had kids or started to put on the cubicle 50… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/19 07:23 PM |
| 4 | [39F] "I'm a 39 year old divorced single mom who's tired of picking Mr. Wrong, tired of playing games, and I'm ready to find that special somebody. I'm by no means fat, but don't be too skinny or too much older than me."Good point | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 27/08/19 01:07 PM |
| 1 | Longer than my grocery list..."I am with a great fire Dept" <-- note she does not call herself a firefighter. She would, if that was her job. I would bet $100 it is not. "Working to be an EMT" <-- "I googled EMTs and it looks really cool. I could totally do that. I just need to save up for the program, and actually apply, and find babysitters/support for my four kids while I go to school and work...but I am totally working on it. I only bought two bottles of wine this week instead of my usual three, and I did a pushup yester… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 26/08/19 01:42 PM |
| 1 | Longer than my grocery list..."I'm looking for a life partner that's willing to do things I do and live where I want to live!" But you already have two dogs. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 26/08/19 01:37 PM |
| 46 | [39F] "I'm a 39 year old divorced single mom who's tired of picking Mr. Wrong, tired of playing games, and I'm ready to find that special somebody. I'm by no means fat, but don't be too skinny or too much older than me."Quick math: Divorced since she was 21 Daughter is: 13 Her age: 39 Carry the two...hmmmm. People who say "I enjoy doing just about anything" inevitably have the creativity of a damp shoe. "I like my wine, not like alcoholic like" <-- if you say this, you drink too much. Also, she mentions "her wine" like three times. Functional alcoholic, I promise you. Also, I can't believe she actually has the gall to say "I am by no means fat". Actual delusion. Not surprising, though, given that all the "hobbi… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 26/08/19 01:34 PM |
| 6 | [32F] "I'm a beautiful, successful single mother who's struggled BIG TIME to find a good man, and I'm losing hope."Oh, I'm not saying women CAN'T get back into almost-pre-baby shape, some obviously do, and a lot of women ABSOLUTELY use babies as an excuse to go full frumpy and fat. I just mean that hot women with kids who think they can price themselves like hot women without kids are probably delusional. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 21/08/19 03:03 PM |
| 13 | [32F] "I'm a beautiful, successful single mother who's struggled BIG TIME to find a good man, and I'm losing hope."I've seen very very few women get out of the infant phase unscathed - that's why those that do are so remarkable as to practically be celebrities. The ones who get close generally have a lot of support and care about their appearance, but even then, babies will age you. You may still be hotter-than-average for a mum, but you can't expect to compete with a woman in her early to mid twenties who can actually sleep and workout when she wants. That's not me trying to mean; its like trying to have th… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 21/08/19 11:20 AM |
| 15 | [32F] "I'm a beautiful, successful single mother who's struggled BIG TIME to find a good man, and I'm losing hope."Also, you can have a toxic relationship with a good person (although when you do, it's generally your fault). | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 20/08/19 05:58 PM |
| 18 | [32F] "I'm a beautiful, successful single mother who's struggled BIG TIME to find a good man, and I'm losing hope."It's kinda suspicious, isn't it? | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 20/08/19 05:50 PM |
| 16 | [32F] "I'm a beautiful, successful single mother who's struggled BIG TIME to find a good man, and I'm losing hope."Thanks man | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 20/08/19 03:33 PM |
| 151 | [32F] "I'm a beautiful, successful single mother who's struggled BIG TIME to find a good man, and I'm losing hope."I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she is everything she says she is (more or less). The problem is that the market has changed, and she hasn't altered her prices. Let's imagine she was a gorgeous, childless 24-25 year-old, pre-kid and pre-baby daddy. The world was her oyster. Guys around every corner; and not just quantity, but "quality". Hot, successful guys wanted her. She picked one, and it didn't work out (I won't bother to speculate as to why). He leaves/she kic… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 20/08/19 03:14 PM |
| 13 | Any theories as to the post-wall tattoo obsession with the WAATGM-ers? (All the women here are well into their 30s.)Is the question "why do women want tattoos on themselves" or "why do women want tatted guys"? Those are two separate, but related things. Women want tattoo'ed guys because beards and tattoos are popular right now, and it's a short-hand way of indicating to each other that you got a "high value" guy. Obviously hot guys are always going to be hot (women don't want fat old guys with beards and tattoos), but hot guys who have beards and tattoos are the coolest thing right now (sorry boys, you're bas… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 20/08/19 02:27 PM |
| 29 | Mother of six looking for her happily ever after. You also need to be able to drive her and her SIX kids around.Yeah, her grammar is weird but that's definitely 3 kids, not 6. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 06/08/19 02:32 PM |
| 2 | Qualified hairdresser is in to "pole fitness" and wants a change of career. The first date will be about your role as a potential father and provider for her 3 kids.I think the eyes just struck me because that's a particular, uh, "look" I haven't seen as much on this sub. Fat? Sure. Frumpy? Hell yeah. Generally plain or filtered until they look like poreless alien dolphins? Check and check. But based on her appearance and language use, I genuinely wonder if there isn't something congenitally wrong with her. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/07/19 02:13 PM |
| 3 | Introducing Chad Thundercock's Younger Brother, Dylan -- A Lady's Man for Our Modern Ageright, whoops | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/19 08:27 PM |
| 3 | Introducing Chad Thundercock's Younger Brother, Dylan -- A Lady's Man for Our Modern AgeOhhhh man. May I add to this? "Dylan is extremely interested in you when you're actually in front of him, but when you told him you'd be in town all weekend he didn't even reply until 9 pm that Sunday because he'd "been so busy" with his craft beer podcast. If you're free right now and can come meet him at the bar he's at with his friends, he'd totally love to "hang out" with you until you have to leave in the morning. He'd love to tell you all about his new hobby restoring antique bagpipes. Lat… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/19 06:42 PM |
| 4 | Qualified hairdresser is in to "pole fitness" and wants a change of career. The first date will be about your role as a potential father and provider for her 3 kids.Nobody gonna mention that she's walleyed? No? No takers? Cool. Cool cool cool. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 24/07/19 06:26 PM |
| 7 | These women get bombarded with genuine well-meaning advice on how to land a quality man. They decide to disregard supply and demand, fertility and age as incel nonsense. And instead decide what they are worth. They are pickier now compared when they where young and fucked any handsome Chad possible.Its a numbers game: in most major metro areas, there are more single, college-educated women than men over 30. Many men with college degrees are willing to date women without degrees; women mostly won't. Women also mostly want men who are older and wealthier than they are; as women earn more, it becomes harder to find men who out earn them. Women are also more likely to date older men, but most women don't want to date younger men (nor do those younger men want them) while older men are happy to… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 20/07/19 02:55 AM |
| 11 | Respect refresherDon't interrupt him when he's speaking (ESPECIALLY if he takes a long time to reply - give him time!) If you get in his way, apologize and get out of his way Offer to get him something while you are up Do not move his things without asking him where he wants them Especially do not move his things in order to put your things in their place Ask his permission/check in with him before doing something that might affect him Ask for his opinion on how to solve a problem at work, and then compliment fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/19 07:07 PM |
| 2 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.Also true. I have a dude friend who is the closest thing I've seen to an in-person MGTOW, and while the ladies are not currently beating down his door he also can't be said to be an incel really. He could certainly get a girlfriend if he really wanted one, but he seems to have done the cost-benefit analysis and decided against it. It used to worry me but the more horror stories I read (and the more I see that he seems both happy and well-adjusted) the more I've concluded that he is doing just fi… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.Oh yes, I have no doubt about it! I just don't deserve any credit in this case. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 06:50 PM |
| 3 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.I get why guys end up as MGTOW, honestly. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 06:20 PM |
| 2 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.I have heard this before and while I am sure it is somewhat true, but I would argue that a lot of the increase in his SMV was more objective. They might have taken a second look at him because I was there, but what they saw was a man who had lost fat/built muscle, improved his career, fixed his skin issues, and grew in confidence. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 06:04 PM |
| 0 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.This is the thing though: a lot of good men are also fine with feminism! My husband is a "feminist" in the "equal rights" sense (he's real happy that I have a job and contribute to our net worth and don't expect him to always mow the lawn) but he's really not down for the weird anti-men nonsense. Edited to add: my point is that even this low bar ("don't hate men") is a stumbling block somehow?? | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.I genuinely think there is a small minority of women who should not be married, and I also think they should be free to do whatever they want. Actually, I think everyone should be free to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt other people, but we have to recognize that actions have consequences, even if you are free to take those actions. Especially when it comes to romantic partnerships. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 05:52 PM |
| 3 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.So true what you say about marriage-minded men. Some of those men start looking later, for whatever reason, but most of them still want to be married early enough to have kids while they're still "young". I was super lucky with my husband (obviously) and I can tell you that since we've gotten together and his SMV has improved the competition has started circling. I actually had one of his (married) female friends literally ask me if I'm not super smug about getting this amazing guy, especially n… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 04:54 PM |
| 6 | Who is interested in a package deal? Contents include 2 toddlers with one on the way.Jesus Christ. All of these cookie-cutter profiles are not just depressing; at this point I'm pissed off. Do you know how easy it is to marry a good man, if that's what you want and you're a relatively attractive woman? Sure, "Christian Men Prefer Debt-Free Women Without Tattoos" but plenty of men are actually fine with tattoo'ed, non-virgin women who have debt (although maybe not mountains of it). Do you know what I had to do to marry my husband, who is objectively out of my league in 9/10 ways?… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/06/19 02:14 PM |
| 7 | Is there a pretty girl privilege?"Guys like women who like them and make them feel good" - this really is the crux of it, isn't it? I have a friend who is just kind mean to most guys, and not in a playful/joking way (she does this to her female friends as well). Treating people with contempt is a terrible way to grow or nurture any relationship, it just seems like the effects are amplified when it's a romantic relationship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/19 02:51 PM |
| 1 | Mandingo was here. She already has a pre-made family by Tyrone. She just wants something real. Something real expensive and rich. She’s a hairdresser and probably serviced Tyrone. Now her son needs a father figure coz Tyrone drifted off to never land and he ain’t payin’ no child support.Came here to say that. Poor dude, hope he does okay despite all...that. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 10/06/19 02:32 PM |
| 9 | At what age and how did you meet your boyfriend/husband?I was almost 28, he just 30. We knew each other casually from a shared hobby for like 8 years but he'd been in and out of town and I'd been in LTRs for most of that time. When we first got together I didn't feel a "spark" but he was very attractive, funny, smart, nice...I was just suspicious because of my own issues. It's been three years, we're getting married in a month. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/19 02:49 PM |
| 8 | [42F] "I want a respectful gentleman who is financially stable, who can teach my kids how a man should treat a woman, and if you just say HI and don't WOW me, you will not get a response."There is something about the number of times she says "respect" that I find especially off-putting | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 10/05/19 01:30 PM |
| 12 | We all know that guns and alcohol don't go well together...so how do you think guns, alcohol, and dating a leftover and disgruntled sasquatch will mix?I misread that as "extremely narcissistic" and was surprised at her honesty for a moment | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 06/05/19 02:39 PM |
| 5 | I've got tits, nice tits, and nothing to offer but tits. If you want to play with them, then you must entertain me and pay for shit. I don't have time to go out and know new persons.Absolutely | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 12/04/19 02:52 PM |
| 20 | I've got tits, nice tits, and nothing to offer but tits. If you want to play with them, then you must entertain me and pay for shit. I don't have time to go out and know new persons.The lighting here is deliberate. Dark body (hides rolls), highlighted cleavage, dark face (hides wrinkles). It's a bad selfie, but it is bad in a way that works for her. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 12/04/19 02:20 PM |
| 71 | BASIC thot that wont settle for basic. Entitled gold digging princess that is washed up and has nothing to offer in exchange.Bookshelf full of purses and shoes, in her living room, but not a book in sight. I, for one, am shocked. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 12/04/19 02:17 PM |
| 5 | Fitness RoutinesSo, some context: I got up to a BMI of 24 and am now at 21.5, and I do like the way I look better now. I can tell you how I did it, but what I did doesn't matter as much if you don't want to look like me. So I'll share some opinions and context, and you can take it or leave it. For myself, I like the lean/muscular look. More crossfit than Victoria's Secret. I am more interested in being strong and having plenty of muscle than being "thin" although the side-effect is that I am fairly slim. I care… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/19 03:45 PM |
| 2 | She aint no size 6 bitch...Hilariously even the angles can't save her. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 18/02/19 02:38 PM |
| 2 | Do you have any ideas for Valentine's Day?My SO has to work all day and evening on Valentines day, and has taken the Friday after off (I can't) after what I can honestly say has been the most stressful 2-3 weeks of our lives. Maybe longer than two weeks - 2019 has been very rough so far. I bought a new wallet for him (his is pretty trashed) and I'll be wrapping that for him and including a very long, detailed letter about how proud I am of him and everything he does, along with some chocolates. I'll make sure there are plenty of good sn… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/19 04:19 PM |
| 2 | A few ways to enhance your looks & femininityI still struggle with it!! Mostly I just try to remind myself what my biggest priorities are, how little time they really take to achieve and to get back up every time I fall off the wagon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/02/19 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Beside the RPW stuff, why does your man love you?He loves that I never raise my voice, don't spend more than I make and pack his lunch every day. There's probably more but those are three big ones :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/19 06:34 PM |
| 8 | When did you know he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life withHe was the first guy who I respected and admired MORE the more we got to know each other. He's the only person I've ever dated who continues to impress me, day in and day out. And about 6 months in, I realized he was committed 100% - another brand new thing. And as soon as I realized that he was in it to win it, it's like something uncoiled inside of me and that was that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/19 04:36 PM |
| 24 | A few ways to enhance your looks & femininityAlso, advice number 0: whatever you do, actually, like, DO IT. Skin care products don't work if you don't use them regularly. Gym memberships don't help you get in shape if you don't go to the gym and work out hard while you're there. Diets only work if you follow them. This sounds so dumb and obvious but it's honestly the advice that I NEED more than anything haha. I am the queen of beautiful plans, great intentions, and throwing it all out in favour of being a lazy bum :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/19 04:30 PM |
| 5 | Do men naturally feel inclined to provide for and protect women?(do any members or r/redpillwomen think they are NAWALT? Why do you think so?) I love this question, honestly. To me, All Men Are Like That (AMALT) just as women are, if by AWALT you mean to say that all women are, to a greater or lesser extent, influenced by their biological drives and societal expectations (or lack thereof) to behave in certain ways. Both men and women have drives that are influenced by evolution and survival, and I think imagining that any one of us is immune to our genetic a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/19 07:51 PM |
| 5 | Advice for womenBe nicer to your husband than you are to your waiter. Choose your battles. Some problems cannot be ignored, but if it won't matter in 5 years, leave it alone. Learn the difference between "my way" and "the right way". There are many right ways. They will not all be your way. Respect your husband enough to have his way (unless it is something very serious or dangerous). If you would like something, ask nicely. Be appreciative. Say thank you. If he's having an especially stressful shit time at wor… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 29/01/19 04:44 PM |
| 6 | PSA: When a woman says "A few sex partners SHOULD be OK", she means "You cannot judge women on criteria I don't like." Yes, you can.Man, if you're that upset about people judging you because you know you aren't living up to your own standards, let alone theirs...just...fucking be better. I know you're right, I'm following your logic (I've seen similar defensiveness pop up when you're in shape and someone else isn't...they feel like your fitness is an attack against them, because they are projecting their own disappointment with themselves) it's just...man, it's gotta be tiring living inside of that universe. It just boggles … | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/01/19 03:37 PM |
| 8 | PSA: When a woman says "A few sex partners SHOULD be OK", she means "You cannot judge women on criteria I don't like." Yes, you can.I loved that article. Men can prefer to marry women who are 5'2'' tall exactly with six fingers on their left hand, if they want. Men can do whatever they want and choose whomever they wish. It's not really surprising that Christian men especially would prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos. And it's so true - nobody said indebted tattooed non-virgins were garbage fires of human feces. They just weren't what Christian men preferred, and if you don't like that...too bad? "I prefer pepperoni pi… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/01/19 02:59 PM |
| 1 | PSA: When a woman says "A few sex partners SHOULD be OK", she means "You cannot judge women on criteria I don't like." Yes, you can.I don't disagree with anything you're saying, but to add some nuance: I don't believe you should judge a person for anything that is truly out of their control. For example, if your mother was an alcoholic, that can never be your fault. You can, I believe, judge a person by how they react to circumstances outside of their control. But more importantly, even if you are not judging a person for their circumstances, you are still not required to chose to date them. You may recognize that someone co… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/01/19 02:36 PM |
| 6 | To those who have found their CaptainIf you look at my story from the outside, I basically rode the carousel until I decided to settle down and hooked a "Billy Beta" :D That's not how I've experienced it though; I had five serious, long-term relationships in my life (and a number of short-term "relationships") before I met my husband, but I was always looking for him. I was raised by a single mom surrounded by single aunts and I literally had no idea what to look for in a partner or how to be in a relationship. The message I got wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/19 03:59 PM |
| 2 | Dating / Vetting Advice - your words of wisdomThis is just really good advice for anyone generally looking to get into a relationship. Look at what you have to offer (HONESTLY - that's the challenge) and what you want, and see if it's a fair deal. I know me - I like makeup but I'm not a "full face every day, manicure & stylish outfits" kind of girl. So I quickly learned to avoid guys who were looking for someone who wore heels daily and spent $$$ in the salon. I'm good with money, confident and outgoing, and fairly pretty/in very good shape… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/19 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Career advice for a young woman?You will almost certainly earn more than your partner, unless you find another professional (physician, lawyer, dentist, accountant, etc). This may be a problem for him (although it may not) and yes, it may be a problem for you. You may come to resent him. You may find yourself losing respect for him or thinking he's less "manly". You may start trying to lord your income over him, or find yourself acting like the boss in the relationship because you earn more money. If you do any of the above, i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/19 08:46 PM |
| 4 | Engagement timeline?I think it makes absolute sense to insist on being engaged before buying a house. I would still move and enjoy the new job and the new city, but sit him down and explain (at a calm, happy time in your RENTED apartment): "I love you, I love our life together, but I want to be married to you. I don't want to be your girlfriend forever. I don't want to 'force' you to propose, but I do need to know that we are both moving in that direction, and I need a reasonable timeline we can both live with." If… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/19 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Career advice for a young woman?Hello! I'm not a physician, but I've worked in a hospital and med school for about a decade now, working very closely with physicians. While I would never discount the experience of current med students, I do feel like I have the slightly longer view - I've watched several cohorts start and finish (they grow up so fast!) so I like to think I have some perspective. Firstly, everyone telling you "don't do it unless you can't imagine not doing it" are right. It's going to be hard and demanding, but… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/19 07:39 PM |
| 3 | Post Wall Woman spends 10 years on the CC, "Why can't I find a relationship?" The comments alone could fill this sub.Yeah, I thought it might fit with #4, although it seems like the opposite of "high standards" since you'd think someone with high standards would want to be treated, I don't know, well? Silly me. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 21/12/18 04:11 PM |
| 6 | Post Wall Woman spends 10 years on the CC, "Why can't I find a relationship?" The comments alone could fill this sub.You forgot one (although this might fit under one of your other points): she chooses men who are awful for her over and over again and doesn't start doing the introspection necessary to change this behaviour until it is much too late (if at all). A sane person, if they dated a "jerk" at 16 or 17, would realize that these type of people are bad news and not date them again. They would calibrate their search to look for better people, yet I know women personally who keep picking people who treat t… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 21/12/18 03:59 PM |
| 2 | Poor work ethic or no career drive, due to how one was raised?You are making a lot of inferences here that will take some time to unpack, but first I want to echo what others have said: not being driven to a "typical" career or career path does not mean you have poor work ethic. Those are two completely separate things. Now, when we talk about couples, disparate levels of career ambition are totally okay (and some would say ideal - if you both want to be a Vice President of the company by the time you're 35 and have kids who don't hate you, you're going to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/12/18 07:44 PM |
| 3 | Meal for two ideas/ meal planning advice?You mention in a comment that you only really have salt and pepper - which spices you want will definitely depend on what types of food you like. There are certain spice/flavour profiles for different types of cooking; Mexican foods use different spices than Italian or Spanish or Indian or Thai or French. I would suggest starting with one type of food/region of cooking, and then expanding from there. Regardless of what type of food you like, salt, pepper, garlic, paprika, and onion (I prefer fre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/18 03:36 PM |
| 6 | What’s your personal upkeep routine and budget?Annually: Hair: $300 (includes fancy salon cuts 2x year, shampoo/conditioner and random extras) Skin Care: $150 (includes moisturizer at $20/bottle, drugstore face wash at like $6-8/pop, salicylic acid and retinols from The Ordinary - like $8-12/bottle - plus the occasional splurge mask, which I try to use gift cards on) Makeup: $150 (I like higher-end stuff for some things but I try not to buy indiscriminately, and a lot of NYX and elf products are very good for much less. For example, the NYX … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/18 03:12 PM |
| 6 | [31F] I am a singlemom (no custody), l like to party, I don't work, I don't drive and I am currently pregnant.NECK TATTOOS...amazing. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 18/12/18 02:43 PM |
| 6 | When your friends make the wrong decisions...Man, I totally understand this frustration. I have a close friend who is incredibly brilliant academically and just an idiot about boys. She'll literally say to me "I know this guy is a jerk and will probably break my heart but I am just so into him..." Girl, no. You aren't 17, you know better, you're literally already aware that he is bad for you and will break your heart...what are you doing?? And then she wants sympathy when the dude breaks her heart. It's a major strain on our friendship bec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/18 02:46 PM |
| 5 | so...who will be the gentleman that will meet her expectations and cater to her needs?I want none of the burdens of feminism and none of the burdens of traditionalism, and it is your job and duty to remove those burdens from me. --> this | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 14/12/18 04:28 PM |
| 1 | so...who will be the gentleman that will meet her expectations and cater to her needs?TIL that you can pick and choose whatever parts of an ideology appeal to you and ignore the parts that don't. Okay, I lied, I already knew that. I've just rarely seen it stated so overtly. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 14/12/18 04:26 PM |
| 1 | No friends of the opposite sex agreement in a relationship, abusive or acceptable?My fiancé has a number (6-7) of close-ish female friends. They talk on the phone or grab a coffee once a month. Most of them are married and some of them live in other cities. He always tells me when he's going to meet up with them or call them, and always offers to show me their texts, or cancel his plans with them if I need him for some reason (even if my reason is pretty dumb). He makes it eminently clear that I am his #1 priority. In my specific situation, I'm not really worried. Maybe I sho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/18 08:09 PM |
| 2 | How to know when to move onNot to be harsh, but it doesn't really sound like you have a "decent" man now...would being alone really be so much worse than being with this man? You're already paying all the bills and doing all the housework, so that wouldn't change. You just wouldn't be cleaning up after him, your bills might decrease, and you'd actually be available to meet someone appropriate. I'm not guaranteeing that you will, but at least it would be a possibility. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/18 07:41 PM |
| 3 | The Man Who Won't WorkI like your comment and I think it is very wise, although depending on the age of the man-in-question I would still have some reservations if he had never lived alone. It's one thing to move out and move back for Good Reasons, but I have never met a man over 26-27 who hadn't lived on his own who was good long-term relationship material (including men who have strong cultural taboos about moving out of the family home pre-marriage). That said, I've met lots of guys who lived alone for a time and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/18 07:35 PM |
| 3 | The Man Who Won't WorkAgreed. There is also a difference between a man who has a dead-end, low responsibility position that nonetheless pays well enough for him to live reasonably, save a bit and enjoy his life, versus a similar position where he can't make ends meet, can't save for retirement, and is constantly drowning in debt just to support a modest lifestyle. I have dated three guys who all fell into the latter camp and it was exhausting. If you want to build a life that includes kids, someone who only wants to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/18 06:52 PM |
| 3 | [24F] "You have 3 months to propose to me with a better ring than your buddy's fiancée or we're breaking up!"That struck me as particularly weird...it sounds like "Laura" is projecting - all of the awful people I've known have constantly assumed that everyone around them is up to equally awful shit. I mean, fine, be disappointed that your boyfriend isn't proposing to you...silently, by yourself...and then get over it. Also, don't snoop in the first place. Obviously. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 26/11/18 04:45 PM |
| 2 | Do you know where you are at SMV scale?Plus, you may not even have to move that far. Sometimes one county or an hour up the highway can make a big difference! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/18 09:22 PM |
| 5 | Do you know where you are at SMV scale?The one thing I find discussions of SMV/RMV often fail to take into account is that those values will inevitably be subjective. I mean, sure, we have some general agreements about what is beautiful and what is ugly (especially at the extreme ends) but who you are competing with determines a fair portion of your value in the marketplace. Do you live in a college town with a lot of stunning young coeds? Your SMV will go down because there is an oversupply of beautiful women. Do you live near a mil… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/18 07:19 PM |
| 11 | Tips for nun mode?Not sure if this is pure red pill, but I often think that the one element of "nun mode" that gets missed is volunteering or helping others (something that actual nuns tend to be pretty into). Consider giving your time to a group or cause you really care about, or even something small like helping with a work bake sale or choosing charitable gifts for your friends/family. If the goal of nun mode is to emerge a better person (and, subsequently, a better partner) I think it's worth it to spend some… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/18 03:29 PM |
| 1 | [18F] "Pregnant with twins. Seriously looking for a guy to marry and have a life with."I didn't even catch that haha | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 19/11/18 02:01 PM |
| 6 | [18F] "Pregnant with twins. Seriously looking for a guy to marry and have a life with.""Catholic" eh? | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 16/11/18 06:10 PM |
| 2 | Is chastity still expected by most high value RP men? For RPW who are not virgins, how has this affected your dating life?I think you have to consider that not all high-value men will identify with RP philosophies, either because they have never been exposed to them or because they have read stuff that rubs them the wrong way and decide the whole thing is garbage. So, if you're asking about high-value men in general, I would say that it depends highly on the individual. A man who has only slept with 2-3 people may see a woman who has slept with 10 and think she's outrageous. A man who has slept with 100 women may c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 05:23 PM |
| 4 | Is caring (a lot) about money a bad thing?Is the trait masculine? Yes, absolutely. Is it bad? It could be. Does it turn men off? It absolutely will turn some men off. The more important question is: are these the men you want? They might be, or they might not be. We all need to find partners with compatible views on money, because money is the major reason couples break up. That said, if you are only looking for an ambitious, high-earning man, who is also presumably kind, handsome, funny, etc, you are limiting your available dating pool… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/18 07:20 PM |
| 5 | [26F] "I will not go through another abusive relationship or being used anymore. I'm done with the childish baby games."This is like Terrible Profile Bingo. The only thing missing is that fucking "if you can't handle me at my worst..." quote. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 11/10/18 02:24 PM |
| 1 | What is something you love about your Captain?He is a good person, right to the bone. He is moral, upstanding, courageous, thoughtful, incredibly intelligent, methodical, funny, a great communicator, hard-working, ambitious but not overly-material, money-smart, handsome, kind...I could go on :D As for me: he is on my team, forever (or I should say - we are on the same team). Everything is better with him. He would do literally anything for me and just being near him makes me happy. He builds me up, encourages me, supports me, and takes incr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/18 07:06 PM |
| 4 | [42F] "I'm emotionally & financially stable, and ready to be a mom. There would be a legal contract and you would have no financial or parental responsibilities." Any man that falls for this trap deserves to have his balls handed to him.I used to work at an Obstetrics clinic and one of the docs got a pre-pregnancy counseling referral for a 51 year old woman. He looked at it, handed it back to me and said "she doesn't need a referral, she needs to get a fucking cat". It was great. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 04/10/18 05:13 PM |
| 3 | "I seem to attract only guys that I would never date...All the decent looking men my age dont respond to me."Most women aren't, my point was more to say that the there is probably some correlation between a happy non-carousel life and how lovely this person is. I know anecdotes =/= data but I am not surprised that someone who isn't bitter and jaded is lovelier than someone is. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 03/10/18 02:09 PM |
| 20 | "I seem to attract only guys that I would never date...All the decent looking men my age dont respond to me."The most attractive woman I know in her 60s is slim, blonde, friendly, sweet, charming....and still married to the man she fell in love with at 18. Coincidence? Hmmmm.... | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 02/10/18 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Advice on Creating Dating App Profile [30 years old]Absolutely, and incidentally, my heart goes out to you (although I know a random stranger on the internet saying that is kind of meaningless). | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/18 02:31 PM |
| 14 | Advice on Creating Dating App Profile [30 years old]Some of the best profiles "show, don't tell". Instead of saying "I'm funny", write a funny profile. Instead of saying "I enjoy books", tell a little about a specific book/author you love and why. Keep it relatively brief since no one wants to read a novel. Be sure to balance what you're looking for with what you offer; a list of demands comes off as really...well, demanding! Try not to be angry, depressed, or cynical/jaded in your profile ("tired of the players" "just looking for a good guy to t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/18 02:24 PM |
| 6 | Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before — But I Am Now | Thought…I loved the bit where her breakup "remedy" is drink, workout, and then do exactly the same stupid thing a second time. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 24/09/18 01:27 PM |
| 1 | Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before — But I Am Now | Thought…If you date a jerk once, realize that he's an ass, and then...stop dating jerks, that's one thing. But: 1. You're supposed to learn from your mistakes. If you keep doing the same idiotic thing over and over, you're being an idiot. 2. You say you have no regrets. You probably should. You should regret wasting time with people who treated you like shit, but moreover, you should regret that you deliberately chose people who you *knew* were going to treat you like garbage because....because why? You… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 24/09/18 01:24 PM |
| 1 | F25 engaged to M27: I'm feeling squirrelly about marriage. Is this the "hamster" or something else?You're welcome! I LOVED that book honestly. It improved my current relationship a lot. If it makes you feel better, I didn't get 'tingles' for my fiance at first either, but I did find that about 4 months in I got the like stupid/giggling/teenager love that just...hasn't gone away? Now, you two have been together longer than my man and I have, but I am 31 so I think I have the experience of knowing just how bad a crap relationship can be, so I was in an even better place to really appreciate eve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 07:22 PM |
| 4 | I really hate gynocentrism!My fiancé regularly "thanks" me for "letting" him pursue his nerdy weird hobbies. No, love, you are an adult man and no one "lets" you do these things. And you don't need my permission. But he's been trained to think that you're lucky if you have a partner like that! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 07:00 PM |
| 1 | F25 engaged to M27: I'm feeling squirrelly about marriage. Is this the "hamster" or something else?From your post and your comments, this guy sounds great, and more specifically, good for you. What I want to know is: -Are you making a point to truly appreciate him? It's easy to take something wonderful for granted if you've had it for a long time. We all get acclimatized. -Curiosity is normal. While I've dated more than you, I've never done online dating either, and I am also really curious about it! I'm not more curious about OLD than I am in love with my fiancé, though. -Are you bored with … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 06:56 PM |
| 8 | There is no one, objective archetype of the High Value ManAll very true. I think another way of looking at it is that femininity/beauty/warmth are must-haves; you aren't even going to be considered unless you have these kind of basic, attractive qualities. However, once you hit the 'minimums', personal choice and personality matter a lot more on an individual basis. My fiancé wouldn't have considered me at all if he didn't find me pretty and pleasant, but for him it's also very important that someone is intelligent and ambitious (work ethic is importan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/18 04:40 PM |
| 3 | How to stop comparing yourself to other womenJust remember, never judge your outtakes against someone else's highlight reel. That perfect selfie some girl just posted to the 'Gram? Yeah, she took fifty pictures and an hour of makeup to get it. That humble-brag post on Facebook about her amazing trip to Costa Rica? You don't hear about the one night the restaurant was really bad, or how her husband wouldn't stop complaining the whole flight. Your tall, statuesque coworker won't shut up about her engagement? You don't see how cruel and selfi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 03:57 PM |
| 2 | Why do you ladies feel that women are more inclined to flirt with the partners of high SMV women?Theory: when you were average, hot women felt like they could probably get your husband whenever they decided they wanted him, so until they did, why bother trying? And if they did try, they wouldn't have to try hard, so no need to be outlandish about it - obviously as soon as they smiled at him, he would gladly leave you (/s of course, but this is the thought process). Once you get more attractive though, they can't rely on your husband leaving you the second *they* decide they want him and mak… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/18 01:46 PM |
| 3 | Do NOT give into wondering “what else is out there” (AKA hypergamy). A warning.Agreed (although I don't know that I would go to 'absolutely miserable'; you can be sort of okay but still incompatible in big, long-term ways, like the kids/no kids divide). But yeah: breaking up for petty reasons is pretty much always dumb. Personally I don't know if it's online "likes" that do it - I think it's the 100s of Tinder matches. Sure, even if most of them are crap, it still makes you think that you are the hottest of hot shit :D | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 08:02 PM |
| 2 | Do NOT give into wondering “what else is out there” (AKA hypergamy). A warning.Thanks! And yes, I agree - we shit on hypergamy run amok and I understand why, but I don't think the desire to do "better" is always evil and that everyone should marry the first person they date; that's also stupid. But it is suuuuper surprising (and very detrimental generally) when you are in a great relationship and those thoughts come up anyway. I think as a species it's innate to wonder "what if" or daydream about the grass on the other side being greener. I doubt there is a single happily-… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 07:26 PM |
| 3 | Do NOT give into wondering “what else is out there” (AKA hypergamy). A warning.Relationship market value :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 06:41 PM |
| 12 | Do NOT give into wondering “what else is out there” (AKA hypergamy). A warning.I wanted to post something similar but I think i'll just comment here instead: I thought I was "over" hypergamy because my fiancé, besides being both objectively and subjectively wonderful, was also very high RMV. Like, I've literally never met a 'better' man than him for almost any criteria you could consider. Recently, through friends, I met a dude who is superficially very slightly "better" than him (taller, fitter, more 'alpha', more socially dominant/confident) but whom I know very little a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 05:55 PM |
| 3 | [33F] "Save the Games for the kids! I don't have time for little boy games. I don't have time to waste. I Do Not take life seriously. I'm not getting out alive! Like to joke around, im a goofball pain in the ass!"Don't forget hard working very ambitious single mom who, despite all that hard work, doesn't own a car. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 04/09/18 06:49 PM |
| 15 | [19F] "I'm the hottest girl on this shit so come take me on a date. I'm a sassy ass bitch who don't take your shit and I actually have a brain in my head. Wondering why 90% of you are fags and douches? Also If your bitchier and more conceited than me don't talk to me I want a man not a pussy."She looks like the sluttiest Who in Whoville | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 17/08/18 07:59 PM |
| 2 | "Why is it so hard to date as a single mom?"Truth | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 16/08/18 03:07 PM |
| 2 | "Why is it so hard to date as a single mom?"Eh, sure. I mean I agree with everything you're saying. I just think it's important to note that the opposite is not true: marrying a virgin does not guarantee that you won't get divorced, and should probably be understood in a larger context. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 15/08/18 04:23 PM |
| 0 | "Why is it so hard to date as a single mom?"Absolutely agree - and there is a reason we are amazed/shocked when we see (rare) instances of people changing this drastically. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 15/08/18 04:14 PM |
| 10 | "Why is it so hard to date as a single mom?"Oh sure; ultimately the "why" isn't going to matter to any individual man as much as the "what". Obviously if you decide to get married you want to avoid as many risk factors as possible, regardless of whether those factors are correlational or causal. I would just be careful of the opposite thinking as well, that marrying a virgin is the best bet - take a look at all the guys in the deadbedroom sub who marry virgins only to discover that they are anti-sex or have no libido (of course this isn't… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 15/08/18 04:04 PM |
| 12 | "If you can't follow these simple rules or come close to what I want in a man then you are wasting my time."My only criticism with your analysis is that this woman has no idea what "bigot" means...or a lot of other words, frankly. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 15/08/18 03:22 PM |
| 11 | "Why is it so hard to date as a single mom?"I take issue with this stat about "more partners = more divorce" that I see over and over here, because we're all just doing that correlation =/= causation fallacy. The stats can't prove that having more partners *causes* divorce, only that people who have fewer partners (n=1 being the 'best bet') also tend to divorce less. I suspect this has a lot to do with the fact that cultures (usually religious) where you are a virgin at marriage also tend to be SUPER ANTI DIVORCE. That said, I do think th… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 15/08/18 03:08 PM |
| 3 | [29F] "Are all good guys gone? What is wrong with me. Or is everyone else? I am nice and bubbly on the inside just havent been with the right person to see that yet besides my daughter :). You Can't stand to be #2 don't mesg please:) I am bi . I like to be treated the way I am saposed to be treated"Just came here to thank you for this post. I think you've won this sub. Not sure what the prize is but kuddos man. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 12/08/18 05:32 PM |
| 2 | "Im 35 single mom of 2 i am looking for a good man to get to know grow with who can accept me for me and my kids... I have a huge family and a big ?... I work average 75 hr a week i love what i do and hope soon to further my career."That is the roughest 35 I have ever seen... | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 09/08/18 02:02 PM |
| 4 | [26F] Carol is pissed at players who keep stringing her along for sex but not committing.I don't mind the odd tattoo but that is the trashiest tattoo I have literally ever seen | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 01/08/18 08:24 PM |
| 1 | I'll just look at the dating market......Fuck I spat at my computer...well played man | /r/MGTOW | 30/07/18 03:47 PM |
| 5 | How do I differentiate between my hypergamous tendencies and justified lack of interest in a mate?I think what you really want is reassurance that you won't spend your life ripping apart good, happy relationships because you'll always be after the next best thing, and you're worried that the example you've given us shows that you are doomed to end up unhappy by pursuing ever-higher-status-men, eventually living alone with 17 cats. The truth is: you're young. It is normal that you need to date a few people before figuring what kind of relationship with what kind of person is actually right fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/18 04:58 PM |
| 14 | “I had a good life with my soulmate. Then Chad made eye contact with me at the gym. We had unprotected sex in the bathroom. It was SO random and now I’m scared to lose my daughters’ and my provider!”Have an acquaintance who has several kids, got divorced and was pregnant with a new guy's kid within a year (new guy she pretty obviously started dating pre-divorced). Everyone was congratulating her when she announced her pregnancy and I just sat there thinking...does nobody see that this is a really shitty idea? Is nobody upset by this? This all seems really awful but...no? No? This isn't awful? Okay, guess I'm the crazy one. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 18/07/18 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Poly Girls are the new vegans.I know a number of poly people, and none of them are attractive. | /r/MGTOW | 13/07/18 04:27 PM |
| 1 | Where to find a man? XDAgree with all - and to add, I really don't understand why these women even want these hypothetically perfect/fit men when they probably wouldn't even like each other! I'm thinking specifically of a fat-ish girl I know who has no interest in going to the gym/doing sports/eating healthy, but really likes super-buff guys. All judgement aside, if you like sitting on the couch, watching movies and eating cupcakes, you're going to be a lot happier with a guy who likes the same things. I don't just be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/18 01:56 PM |
| 2 | "Pretty sure I'm going to be single the rest of my life." - analysis in comments.So, dude was seeing her non-exclusively. She knows this. He starts/was seeing someone else. Stops seeing her, for whatever reason. What's the problem here? People aren't allowed to stop seeing you? People, even those with "something off about them", should stay with you and only you, because...? It sounds like the only thing wrong with this guy is that he didn't want to be with you, made that clear, and you kept seeing him anyway. Who's fault is that? | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 11/07/18 03:33 PM |
| 1 | Where to find a man? XDJust wanted to agree with your last point - I have a number of female acquaintances who are low-average at best (chubby to obese, not a great job, annoying personality, out of shape/not very good looking, etc) who want the hot, fit, successful guy. I just want to slap some sense into them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/18 03:55 PM |
| 3 | Her cock stare is over 9000! Her BMI is twice her age. Her attitude is what you would expect from someone getting offers for sex, but not for the cuckoldry she wants most. "My kids top priority not you sorry not sorry" Doesn't sound like you are anyones priority either, NOT sorry.If you gotta work that hard to be pretty, you are not actually pretty. Wigs because you're bald, or just ***dramatic***? | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 09/07/18 04:41 PM |
| 3 | Too broke to consider marriage?You're 25. No one in their right mind can reasonably expect you to be as successful as a man 12 years your senior. While I agree with the comments that men don't care what you earn, I would add that your *attitude* about money absolutely does make a huge difference. It sounds like you're smart, responsible and hard working. Keep taking care of your business to the best of your ability so he knows you don't see him as a wallet and you should be fine. My partner doesn't care what I make, but he wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/18 05:01 PM |
| 3 | Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living Against Society & Its MythsI appreciate the reply and the clarification; there is a difference between "choosing to be who you are despite society's expectation" vs "choosing to be who you are in a relationship"; you would, certainly, work very hard NOT to end up with a partner who did not agree with this division of labour ahead of time. Out of curiosity, what will you do if you never marry? This is sort of the crux of my curiosity here. It's one thing if you're married and doing this with your lifetime partner, it's kin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/18 03:58 PM |
| 6 | Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living Against Society & Its MythsFrom what I pick up, you live with your father, yes? I just want to point out that navigating the level of financial/domestic responsibility you share with a husband is totally different than doing it with your first family. Out of curiosity, what would you do if your Dad wanted you to get a full-time job to contribute to the household more, financially? What would you do if your husband wanted you to? I am not trying to sound insulting, but there is something that strikes me as a little bit sel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/18 02:41 PM |
| 15 | You thoughts on "The case for settling for Mr.Good Enough"I have a few points: There is a difference between settling and compromise. You settle for someone you don't like/aren't attracted to. You compromise for a good human you love, who can't be your perfect Prince charming because no one is perfect. The subjective qualities are always going to matter more than the objective. You might like tall, dark and rich, but you can still fall in love with and stay happily married to someone a little shorter, blonde and with a normal salary. You CAN'T love and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/06/18 06:03 PM |
| 3 | 17 Women Reveal The Horrible Reasons Why They Settled For Their HusbandsI've never understood this thought process. If you really don't think someone is "worthy" or you or "good enough" for you, don't date them. If you end up alone because no one is "good enough" for you, that's your problem. It certainly doesn't justify dating someone "beneath" you and then punishing them for it. (It also totally ignores the fact that there are fewer college-educated men then women in North America so it is almost a statistical guarantee that they can do better than you - that's a … | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 15/06/18 05:01 PM |
| 13 | 17 Women Reveal The Horrible Reasons Why They Settled For Their HusbandsFucking sad. Women seem to have a really hard time realizing that compromising (I wanted Prince Charming but instead I got Decent Normal Guy) is not settling. Settling is NOT when a good, normal person puts up with you and loves and supports you. YOU HIT THE JACKPOT. Notice that not one of them mention anything actually bad that they had to settle for (other than boring which...fuck, your husband is not your entertainment director. Get a goddamn hobby). Does it never occur to people that your pa… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 14/06/18 07:11 PM |
| 2 | 40 year old cute, smart, employed, lonely divorced chubster with anxiety over everything wants a provider and a lover, but doesn't care about appearances. "Why can't I find a decent man at this point in my life?" Hmmm.Most dating sites don't have "really fat" as a drop down option...at least when they admit they are "Tall/BBW" or whatever the site-allowed euphemism is, they're coming closer to honest. It's the giant girls who call themselves "average" or "athletic" that really make me cringe/laugh | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 06/06/18 06:58 PM |
| 2 | [28F] "I don't have time to waste on something that will mean nothing. I'm a picky woman, I know what I want and need and what I don't want and need. I'm the type of woman you are lucky enough to come across once in a lifetime don't blow it, I promise you will regret it."I assumed it was personal support worker, which is like a nurse without any medical knowledge (and not a profession). Basically you change, feed and bathe old people for a few dollars above minimum wage. Way more likely in my opinion... | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 31/05/18 02:42 PM |
| 2 | [25F] "I just looking for someone to get know maybe build a relationship with someone for once call me old fashioned but I sick of fuck boys."This does sound more challenging! | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 30/05/18 03:29 PM |
| 3 | [25F] "I just looking for someone to get know maybe build a relationship with someone for once call me old fashioned but I sick of fuck boys."My new game is that I glance at the pictures and then try to predict the rest of the info, like "hmmm I bet this girl has a shitty job, at least one child and no vehicle, plus some questionable grammar choices"...and then I scroll down and see if I'm right. Unfortunately, I'm right a lot. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 30/05/18 03:13 PM |
| 2 | What is the mix of your mate?I agree 100% with the division of Red flags but I find the Green flag division kind of arbitrary. I'm wondering what the logic is behind assigning the Green flags this way? (I'm not trying to be rude about this, I'm just genuinely curious, especially given that the Red flags are so consistently true with everything I've observed and experienced). | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/18 02:13 PM |
| 52 | She's lonely, desperate, pathetic and single. So that must mean she's an expert right?! That's why she made this blog for all the other lonely desperate pathetic single women out there.In a later post she goes on a date with nice, respectful "gentleman" who literally does all the formal, thoughtful, be-a-man-and-organize-a-real-date stuff she wants. But she's not impressed because there isn't instant chemistry so she stops seeing him. The End. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 25/05/18 01:38 PM |
| 2 | [24F] "Jesus Christ, you are all so fucking disappointing. I'm a fighter before lover - will knock you into next week if you anger me. I have 1000+ unread messages so I don't know be fucking unique."She seems nice. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 24/05/18 01:14 PM |
| 4 | [23F] "I'm not the kind who will trash talk about my babies father nor chase him for money. Things didn't work out and what matters is my handsome son. The most important thing to know about me is my son. is my world. I'm always learning new things about myself."fucking savage | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 22/05/18 01:42 PM |
| 3 | [23F] "I'm not the kind who will trash talk about my babies father nor chase him for money. Things didn't work out and what matters is my handsome son. The most important thing to know about me is my son. is my world. I'm always learning new things about myself."Let us all give her credit for not claiming to have an "average" or "athletic" body type, and having a car. Also the more time I spend on this sub the more I sympathize with MGTOW | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 22/05/18 02:26 AM |
| 19 | [24F] "Just want friends. Im not ghetto or ratchet so plz dont treat me like the women you use to. Im a classy woman and would like to be treated like one. I'm a good girl with a huge heart that has been broken too many times. "You forgot 5 foot tall but doesn't like short guys. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 17/05/18 02:47 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Haha fair | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 02:58 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Thank you! I've already found that getting out of the constant anti-male rhetoric of my family has helped hugely :) enjoy your honeymoon! | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 01:18 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?This makes sense. I have also in the past asked him specifically if he wants me to remind him to do something. I am also a fan of "just do it" rather than nag - I am equally capable of taking out the garbage after all :P | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 01:17 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Yuuuuuup. Rigorous STFU indeed. And the 10 second rule. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 01:15 PM |
| 2 | How do I stop being critical?Serious question: what is the difference between a reminder and a nag? When is it appropriate to "remind" so that it doesn't come off as naggy? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 06:29 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?This is a good point, but really it's not continuous nagging (ie., asking/telling him to do something over and over) that I struggle with. I very much believe in the "ask him once and trust that he heard you and it will get done" mantra, because he very rarely "breaks his promise to me". I struggle more with sudden, unintentionally critical things just popping out of my mouth, which is a slightly different problem I think. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 06:29 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?I agree with all of this, and thank you for the great advice. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 01:30 PM |
| 2 | How do I stop being critical?Thank you thank you thank you. This is all great advice and I appreciate every point, ESPECIALLY about surrounding myself with like-minded women. You may all have finally convinced me to start a gratitude journal haha :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 01:29 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?I do wonder if there is such a thing as a woman who truly never nags? Like, I appreciate the point in theory, but if you're a man who wants to be married/in a LTR, can you ever completely escape nagging/criticism? I am hyper-aware of this as it is the single most annoying trait that I can't stand in other women (and myself) and I still occasionally slip and say crappy things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 01:43 PM |
| 2 | How do I stop being critical?I mean, I definitely feel remorse, but it's more of a guilt that I am not living up to my own expectations. I love the idea of getting him involved - I think sometimes he chooses to let things slide because it's really not a big deal for him, but if I explain that it's a habit I want to break I know he'll be happy to help. Thank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 01:39 PM |
| 2 | How do I stop being critical?This is soooo true. I've also noticed that if things are going sideways in one part of my life, I will imagine a parallel issue with my SO where none exists, ie., if I'm being disrespected at work I will "feel" like he's being disrespectful even if his behaviour hasn't changed at all. Good point as well about just wandering off when I'm not in the best mood - sometimes I honestly don't even notice it though (which I need to work on). | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 01:37 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Thank you, I will try to stay vigilant :) good advice! | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 01:35 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Excellent points. Thank you! So true about sex haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 01:35 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Thank you for the advice! I do take time every day to be grateful, which definitely keeps me from "planned nagging" because I appreciate all the things he does - this is more spur of the moment, why did I say that? Sort of thing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 12:31 AM |
| 1 | How do I stop being critical?Thanks for the idea! I don't know if my guy would appreciate a punch specifically but I like the idea of doing something else as a distraction for the criticism habit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 12:29 AM |
| 3 | Self-reflection time. Things you know you shouldn't have done, yet you did them/said them/thought them lately.My fiance is very inefficient and I am an efficiency QUEEN. I have to learn to just LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE when he is doing something in a way that I find inefficient/unnecessarily time consuming/basically wrong haha. He'll get it done! And even if it isn't perfect, so what? Who made me Ultimate Boss of All Things? | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/18 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Feeling overwhelmed, need advice on time managementYou're welcome - hope it helps! | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/18 07:32 PM |
| 11 | Feeling overwhelmed, need advice on time managementYou're not a super woman - you can only do so much. You only have so many hours in the day, and he can't reasonably expect you to do everything around the house, stay in great shape, and always have energy and positive vibes. You're human - you WILL burn out. Are there chores he could take over? If there is something he doesn't mind doing, why not ask him to do it? Especially if you explain it as temporary thing that he is helping you with. Do this in a loving, grateful way, not nagging - and th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/18 06:25 PM |
| 1 | Simple recipes for a beginner?Consider a slow cooker - you can toss stuff in the morning of and come home to stews/soups/etc. Saves tons of time at night. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/18 01:37 PM |
| 5 | “Men are intimidates by intelligence in women”In my experience, everyone likes intelligent people. No one likes people who spend all their time talking/bragging about how intelligent they are, regardless of gender. If you have to spend all your time talking about how smart you are and bragging about your intellectual hobbies, you're arrogant, not intelligent. I don't even think it's actually a gendered issue, since (in my experience anyway) those people are unbearable regardless of if they are women or men. I've never met a man who was inti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/18 02:51 PM |
| 3 | Are my physical requirements for my captain unrealistic and superficial?I think the important question here is not whether your standards are unreasonable (well, one standard - over 6 feet) but rather, what are you willing to compromise to get this one thing? If you must have a tall man, would be it alright if he was less successful? If he was not as handsome? A little fat? Maybe socially awkward, or not the best dresser, older than you would've liked? Keep in mind the regardless of your SMV, 6 foot +, handsome, successful, charming, kind, fit mid-to-late twenties g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/18 02:49 PM |
| 2 | Need help. Currently dating a PERFECT match but there's only one issue....Yup, pretty much the old liberal/conservative divide although it really depends on the issue and the evidence (and yeah, I'm the lefty in the family). Socially we're both pretty liberal in the "do whatever you want as long as it doesn't hurt other people" way but intrapersonally we're both like "yeah let's get married have babies and get a golden retriever" haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/04/18 06:55 PM |
| 2 | Need help. Currently dating a PERFECT match but there's only one issue....I'm glad to hear it - if you both agree that its a man's job to protect his family, and he feels that an element of that is guns, and you are hesitant about gun ownership, then you are "disagreeing" (not even in your case) about the method, not the outcome. My fiance and I both agree that people should have the freedom to pursue happiness so long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others. We might not agree on how to get there (more vs less government, legal reform, steps to combat social i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/18 06:45 PM |
| 3 | Need help. Currently dating a PERFECT match but there's only one issue....Are you actually me because this is almost word-for-word my relationship. Fiance and I disagree on plenty of things politically. What I have to ask myself is: Despite our disagreements, are his opinions coming from a basically good, moral, logical place? We can disagree on specific policies or rhetoric as long as we agree on fundamentals (ie., the golden rule, basic human dignity, etc) In 90% of our day-to-day life, our political disagreements are a total non-event. We don't spend every night ar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/18 05:58 PM |
| 1 | [23F] "I'm a stay-at-home mom to a beautiful baby girl whose father is barely involved. Looking for something real."-"Don't message me if you can't spell" Misspells Moscato -"I'm not a big partier" 2/9 interests are alcoholic beverages K. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 29/03/18 02:03 PM |
| 2 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?Hi! As the OP I appreciate your insight. Honestly though, I don't need more people telling me how great I am...I already get that from a lot of wonderful people (I'm very spoiled haha). A recent relationship ended because I felt like I wasn't "good enough" for the guy, and any attempts to improve myself "for him" felt disingenuous and crappy because I was (rightly) insecure for the relationship. Current BF makes me feel like a million bucks and has made it suuuuper clear that he thinks I am a gr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/18 01:34 PM |
| 2 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?"Next thing I knew I was sneaking around to train like I was having an affair"... that sucks man. I really am glad for you that you're so much happier now! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/18 01:30 PM |
| 2 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I like this answer. I know that one of the thing my partner really appreciates about me (and I about him) is that I'm not spendy or materialistic. We are both relatively money-smart individuals with similar money "morals" (ie., live beneath your means, save for the future, pay down debt ASAP, invest to build wealth, and don't spend all your money on frivolous crap, while still recognizing that it is worth spending some money to make yourself happier/more comfortable). | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/18 01:27 PM |
| 1 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I totally believe about the men vs women lift difference. I will occasionally do a one-rep max just to see if I can but I am deeply afraid of lifting to failure for a set (and a lot of the guys I know who work out are definitely pushing harder than I am). Like, the last rep in a set will be HARD but still doable, and after a 2-3 minute break I can generally complete the next set without issue (as in, it's still hard but I can do it). I know a fair number of people who have hurt themselves trying… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/18 01:24 PM |
| 3 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I can't imagine openly criticizing someone for trying to better themselves. Glad you're happy, and thanks for the insight! | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/18 07:56 PM |
| 2 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I hate the idea of Steak and BJ day because dang it EVERY DAY SHOULD BE STEAK AND A BJ DAY if that's what you and your partner want! (actually, that's not entirely true - you probably shouldn't eat that much steak ;) ) | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/18 02:03 PM |
| 1 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I am okay with skin care, but not great - thank you for the reminder! | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/18 01:44 PM |
| 3 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?"Depraved, not Deprived" - I'll get it inscribed somewhere :) thank you! I like all of this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/18 01:42 PM |
| 1 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I'm actually the one who got is both working out regularly :) I'm up to squatting and deadlifting my bodyweight (how could you leave out deadlifting, my most favourite of all lifts?!?! Haha) but I'm honestly nervous to go too much heavier without hiring a personal trainer for a couple of sessions so I can get some feedback on my form. Upper body I do lat pulldowns at 65% of bodyweight and assisted pull ups with less and less assistance (at this point I can only do like one pull up unassisted and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/18 12:46 PM |
| 3 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?This is such a lovely sentiment, thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/18 10:57 PM |
| 5 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?I think what works for me is remembering the specific ways he is lucky to have me and vice versa...like, he's lucky to have me because I am a direct communicator and he's garbage at hints lol, and I'm lucky to have him because he is actually puts my happiness ahead of his own...we are good for each other in specific ways outside of our general SMV and what the public sees :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/18 10:39 PM |
| 2 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?We're spending this Saturday building IKEA bookcases and I have to tell you I am weirdly looking forward to it - it really symbolizes this building our life together (for me anyway) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/18 10:34 PM |
| 1 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?You are right for sure (for all of it) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/18 10:33 PM |
| 8 | Advice please: BF [31] has high SMV that will only get higher. What can I [30F] do to grow with him?Thank you, this is great advice and a good list. Conveniently we are very much on the same page re: wedding planning (we both think weddings are way too expensive and ridiculous haha) but I could certainly stand to work on looking nicer regularly, instead of just when I feel like it :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/18 08:44 PM |
| 5 | [33F] "Stay at home mom looking for a nice guy."Serious question: how do you be a stay at home mom without a spouse supporting you? I get if its an actual infant but like...with a 6 yo kid, you're just unemployed. Right? Am I crazy? | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 13/01/18 03:03 AM |
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