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nymphaetamine Archive

View 0 posts and 454 comments by nymphaetamine on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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80

I have to step away for a while too, I'm gonna lose my shit if I have to see any more victim-blaming or "benefit of the doubt" bullshit when it's so fucking obvious that he killed her. There's even a new subreddit dedicated to defending Brian and trashing her, cause women can't even get murdered without an army of incels working night & day listing all the different ways in which she asked for it. I hadn't even heard about her story until 3 or 4 days ago but I've been crying since they found her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:12 AM
9

Lmao, wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:16 PM
7

40 here and same, it just wasn't a thing back then. Unless you had kids with an ex or had some legitimate reason to stay friendly with them like school or work, going NC after breakups was the norm. It was just common sense because it allowed you to get over them and ready yourself for a new relationship. Anyone who kept their exes around had a really hard time dating, cause people acknowledged how unhealthy and offputting it is to cling to an ex. Now though you're seen as jealous and controllin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:13 PM
23

One of my exes bugged me for weeks after I kicked him out, demanding to be allowed to come get his laundry basket. Called and texted from anonymous numbers every day to accuse me of theft and threatening to call the cops if I didn't give back his $5 broken Walmart laundry basket. Can't make this shit up 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:54 PM
19

A lot of time’s these hiker guys aren’t even that fit. My ex’s that hiked were far less athletic than my boyfriends who played regular sport & went to the gym religiously. These dorks are seriously so unimpressive. Reminds me of a meme I saw a while back of someone making fun of them, the caption was something like "Hiker bros will pack 50lbs of gear for a trail that my 5 year old hiked while wearing crocs and carrying a naked Barbie"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:34 PM
18

Bingo. Back in 08 an ex punched me in the face while I was driving. I had recently broken up with him for cheating on me, and was giving him a ride to work because I was way too fucking nice back then. He started an argument on the way there, because he was butthurt that I'd gotten over him too fast(his words!). He kept escalating, calling me a whore, bitch, slut, etc. As we were pulling into the parking lot he punched me 3x rapid fire on my right cheek, so I hit him right back. I landed a prett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:25 PM
35

Yup. Just observe her physical and emotional state vs. his in the police video. She's crying, scared, shaky, and in obvious extreme distress the entire time. Meanwhile he's cool as a cuke- laughing, cracking jokes, broing around with the cops, fist-bumping them at the end even. You don't need a psychology degree to recognize a psychopath using superficial charm to convince others that he's the victim and the sobbing girl hyperventilating and apologizing for her mental health is his abuser. And o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:08 PM
30

I get chills when I think about how many of my exes Brian Laundrie reminds me of. To think of how close I've probably come to meeting a similar fate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 12:39 PM
5

One of my biggest pet peeves is how abuse survivors are pressured to ignore their feelings and gut instincts. We're told we're being hypervigilant, it's probably just our past trauma speaking, we need to learn to trust, etc, whenever we start to notice red flags in new partners. I quit couples counseling and stopped scheduling with an individual therapist over this bullshit. No, I do NOT need to give trust until I'm betrayed(again, by the same person!), or tell myself NoT AlL mEn so that my over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 11:21 AM
10

Facts. Anyone who demands absolute privacy while feeling entitled to your full trust is always hiding something bad. I have never once seen an exception to this rule. I've unfollowed or cut contact with numerous people over the past year too. The pandemic & election revealed just how stupid my son's father is, for one. I already knew he was LV hence why I left before I even gave birth, but a few months ago he started texting me rants about the 'stolen election'. Turns out he's also an anti-vaxxe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 11:31 AM
20

At 40 I have a depressingly long list of HELL NOs thanks to numerous shitty men. -Cops, military, doctors, lawyers, psychologists, or bankers -Weapons enthusiasts -Picky eaters. I don't expect everyone to be a foodie, but I have no interest in dating a man that limits our restaurant choices to those with a kids' menu. -Keto bros. I work with one and he is fucking exhausting. -Mentally ill men. I sympathize with anyone who suffers from a mental illness, but I don't think I've ever met a single de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:44 AM
49

Oh god, flashbacks. 10 years ago I'd been dating a guy for about a month, and was spending the night one weekend. First off he went to bed without brushing his teeth, then proceeded to snore so loud I had to abandon all hope of sleep and could actually hear the knickknacks on the shelf rattling. Like Jesus dude, schedule a sleep study before you fuckin' DIE. Then he rolled over and let out the most vile fart I have ever witnessed even to this day. The sound was like an elephant trumpeting, and t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 10:46 AM
23

I really, really need to get off my ass and finish that in-depth phone opsec write up I keep meaning to post. I've been a tech/phone geek for 2 decades now and I know most if not all of the tricks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:12 PM
62

Yup. I remember another incident with a different guy where we were at a car show. There were booth babes in skimpy outfits and of course he was ogling them. He starts trying to chat one of them up but instead of paying attention to him, she started talking to me. I'm actually a pretty big car geek, so we got to talking about the car she was showcasing, how the car scene is a sausagefest, manual is more fun than automatic, etc, and she even hugged me before we moved on to the next car. He was ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:04 PM
114

Was going to say this too. I went on a first date with a guy I met on Myspace back in the stone age, and as soon as the waitress took our order he was like "ooh she's hot!" then looked at me, I'm guessing to check my reaction. I enthusiastically agreed with him(she honestly was lol), and when she came back I complimented her hair or something and we had a girly gush moment where we spent a couple minutes pointing out things we loved about the other's style. I think it broke his brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:02 AM
8

This has been my exact same experience too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:06 PM
31

I had an old high school classmate who pulled this shit for years back when I still had facebook. Whenever I was single he was super flirty and I honestly kind of liked him too, but as soon as I'd say okay let's do this, take me out and we'll see what happens- he'd stop responding. But I stg EVERY TIME I started dating someone else he'd pop back up and make this grandiose show of sorrow that I had once again passed him over for someone else. I finally had it and put him on blast last time he pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:44 PM
8

Oh yeah, I actually really enjoy going to church in general. I usually go with my mom on Christmas and it's so calming and nice. Once the outside world starts getting safer I may just start going on my own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:23 AM
33

Facts. As a rule I do my very best to not go by stereotypes but some of them do hold a lot of truth. I have not dated a single atheist tech bro that wasn't a cheater, emotionally abusive, lazy, or addicted to porn. Most of the time it was all 4. I'm not really Christian myself but I'm starting to think if I ever want to find a good, honorable man I need to go look in a small town country church.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:04 AM
11

Yup. There's a friend of my one guy friend who's just trash- pill addict, couch surfer, allergic to work, has 2 kids he doesn't do shit for, abysmal hygiene, etc- who's been trying to get with me since 2006. I'm clean, have a stable career, and take good care of myself and my kid. He used to be a decent person and we were actually pretty good friends about 10 years ago, though I was never attracted to him. I ghosted him completely after he started asking if I had any percocet. Now I hear stories…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:19 AM
4

Disgusting but not surprising in the slightest, I was convinced I had BPD or paranoid schizophrenia when I was with my narc ex. Nope, just a functioning intuition and an abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:48 PM
6

My last few relationships in a nutshell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:11 AM
7

To add to this- always leave a you-shaped hole in the door the second a man tells you his ex was "bipolar". I'm sure in some cases it may be true but I've lost count of how many guys have used that to describe reactive abuse. In my experience it has always translated to "I cheated/lied/abused her and she reacted"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:32 AM
6

Trusting people in a professional sense isn't really what that applies to. It's more like keep an eye out for red flags and keep in mind that people you have emotional ties to, like boyfriends and close friends, can flip on you even if they've always been good in the past. Never just convince yourself that someone would never do X just because they've never done it before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:26 PM
11

Same thing happened to me numerous times. My ex-husband was always online and messaging friends(both male and female), and it never bothered me a bit. Told him all the time go to that party, go hang out with the friends, go have fun and I'll see you when you get home. I didn't care at all if he went places without me, we were even long-distance for a while and I never worried what he was up to. We divorced for other reasons but I could just sense that he was a loyal, honest person. Certain other…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:05 PM
18

I dated a Trumper in 2016. He was the most abusive, unfaithful, and frighteningly psychopathic human being I've ever met. People support who they aspire to be like. If a guy stans a well-known cheating, bigoted narcissist, that's all you really need to know to gauge his personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:17 AM
23

In a word- disgusted. I've recently realized that I've never actually had a healthy relationship, even the ones I thought were good were just slightly less toxic than the others. Any time I think back to an ex that I thought was HV, I remember some addiction or abusive trait he had and stand corrected. I used to think it was just me, maybe I was crazy or too picky, and I actively tried to lower my standards for a long time. All I've ever asked for though was respect, loyalty, and a good work eth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:46 AM
7

Don’t bother with the Esther perel folks. It’s crowd of cluster Bs who weren’t smart enough to earning a living with actual crime. Most accurate description of the reconciliation crowd I've ever seen 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:17 AM
10

Holy shit that article is literally just victim-blaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:14 AM
16

I love Chumplady so very, very much. Last time I got cheated on I did the whole examining my role/understanding the root cause reconciliation crap for a while, but then I read her book and it was like waking up from a horrible fever dream. Why was I torturing myself? Nothing I did caused his cheating, why was I working so hard to keep someone who was always willing to lose me? I didn't HAVE to stay, there was literally nothing keeping me there except societal pressure to "make it work" which is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:01 AM
103

I saw a woman on one of those shows once, but only once. She had a very obvious mental disability and was released to her caregiver instead of getting arrested. She was in her 20s but had the mental age of a preteen, and could not understand why she couldn't have a relationship with the "15 year old" she thought she'd been talking to. Pretty telling IMO that every caught predator has been male except for a single mentally challenged woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:42 AM
4

Trigger warning... When I was 18 I had this loser boyfriend who would wait till I fell asleep then pull my panties aside and have his way with me. Every time he did it I woke up and told him to stop, I got angry and pushed him away, basically he knew damn well I did not consent or want it. Yet until I dumped him, that was how I got woken up most nights. He's not the only one either. I used to think I've only been raped once, but when I think back on all the times I've been coerced and pressured …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:19 AM
26

A couple years ago I blocked a longtime friend who I'd known since 7th grade(I'm 40 now for reference) after he started posting pedo-hinting shit on social media. I first noticed when he posted a pic on IG of a girl who couldn't have been older than 11 with the caption "my young crush". I looked at his facebook and he had a lot of posts with shit like "love doesn't care about age" and "underage <3" I felt sick and immediately lost all desire to associate with this person in any way. It's just be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:47 AM
8

Oh yes, I owe her a lot. Since all this happened I've more than gotten back on my feet but I haven't moved out cause I honestly enjoy living with her, we have fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 08:11 AM
15

You've definitely found a pattern, that's exactly what it was with my former friend. He knew I was pretty much trapped there with him, so he didn't have to go through the normal motions of gauging interest and making effort. Just "date me or be homeless" Disgusting. Thank god for my mom though, she found out what happened and moved me in with her right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 08:00 AM
37

Yup, I lost a 7 year friendship because of this. My life fell apart a few years ago, I got laid off, lost my apartment, and I had no choice but to accept a male friend's offer to move into his spare room. I wasn't really comfortable with the idea but my only other option was living in my car. I grilled him pretty hard up front to make sure there were no strings attached to the offer, no 'expectations' other than the arrangement we both came up with where I'd do housework in lieu of paying rent/b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:43 AM
4

I've been thinking about this a lot ever since the vice thing and one big thing I've realized is there's a huge difference between men who are struggling but trying, and those who are broke because they're just plain lazy and irresponsible with what money they do make. In the past when I've dated broke men who were trying to climb out of their situation, yeah we couldn't go out a lot. He couldn't afford to buy me dinner at a nice restaurant, but instead he'd cook and serve me dinner. Gifts were …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 10:18 AM
17

Oh look another "journalist" putting words in mouths and making shit up for clicks. Yes I am proudly kink-shamey, because I'm not obligated to accept anyone's perversions. I'm sorry your dick is so numbed by porn that you have to do progressively weirder, more deviant things to get off, but stay away from me with your creepy fetishes. How about get some therapy instead of sewing a fleshlight into a stuffed toy. BDSM and polyamory ARE disrespectful and for mens' benefit, how is this even up for d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:36 AM
32

Yup, this is exactly why I have my own shit. I will never give up my bank account, my fuck-off fund, move in without a ring and my name on the lease, or let a man buy me anything more than a modest gift. I definitely learned this lesson the hard way though. I let an ex buy me a car about 5 years ago. The fact that it was an oil-burning cash lot junker should have been a red flag but at the time, I thought it was a gift from the heart and a sign of his commitment to the relationship. Lol, nope. H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 09:38 AM
14

It's always "baby since you live here too you have to help pay bills" until she goes against him, then all of a sudden it's "This is MY house!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 09:34 AM
33

This. My brain just blue-screens whenever I hear about women buying houses and cars, even pets, with their boyfriends. No way in hell am I financially tying myself to any man I'm not married to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 09:33 AM
162

I'm tired of pretending like a woman who slaps a man when he attacks her is the same thing as men who beat and rape women brutally for fun and control. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 12:44 PM
16

lol... This dumb choad. You know how I can instantly sniff out a pseudo-intellectual? They make fun of others for enjoying anything that isn't "smart". I've met SO many men like this. I'm in STEM and my favorite forms of entertainment are trash TV and dank memes. Why? Because they're fucking funny and at the end of a long-ass day spent thinking, laughing at mindless stupid shit is a nice way to wind down. The only people I've ever met who act like they need to be mentally stimulated at all times…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:10 AM
20

Rest stops at night are some of the scariest places ever. For a few years I lived one state away from my mom & sister and I'd make the 3 hour drive every month or so to visit them. Once I didn't get much sleep before leaving, and had no choice but to stop at the rest stop by the border about an hour into the trip cause I felt myself starting to nod off. I locked my doors and reclined my seat to take a nap for a few hours, and noticed there was a big dually truck with what looked like a horse tra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:10 AM
22

I'm still just waiting for the mask to slip. This is why I gave up on dating. No matter how perfect a guy might seem, no matter how many years he behaves himself, I'll always be waiting for the mask to slip. Being treated like shit from almost every man I've been with since I first started dating in the damn 90s has taught me that it's only a matter of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:12 AM
34

Even generally good guys don't get it, they just think if they were women they would totally do porn cause it's "easy money". They don't think about the repercussions though. The creeps, the stalkers, the embarrassment if someone ever recognizes you, the pics & videos existing forever online, being blackmailed, etc. Even sending nudes to guys we're dating backfires on us. There is zero benefit to women doing porn or even sending nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 09:25 AM
11

The only man in my life is my toddler. Valentine's day was spent playing, laughing, and giving me lots of hugs & kisses. 10/10 V-day, did not disappoint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:00 PM
17

Kind of a weird one, but teasing. Like those little subtle jabs that aren't vulgar or outwardly insulting but that 'playfully' mock your intelligence and/or abilities. I've had relationships and friendships where this dynamic was fine but only because we had mutual respect and both got a kick out of roasting each other. You can tell when it's all in good fun. But when men do it too early on, too often, or without knowing you well enough to build up that respect first it's a pretty good indicator…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:53 PM
22

Lol. When one of my exes pulled this shit I began "uplifting" other guys who had the courage to post their "artistic" pictures online. He wasn't very keen on that for some reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:56 AM
6

Yes! making me nostalgic over here lol. They may have fapped it to girly mags while alone but YOU were still the real prize. Now they want you to be more like their favorite porn stars -_-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:52 AM
5

lol yup, exactly. Maybe an old hustler they stole from their uncle too, but that was about the worst of it back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 11:39 PM
28

I did a lot of my dating before all this weird/abusive porn and sex-positivity BS took over a while back, and until then I had precisely 0 boyfriends with 'kinks'. Guys used to get embarrassed if anyone ever found out they even watched 'normal' porn and they certainly didn't expect their girlfriends to be okay with shit like camgirls and fetishes. But ever since perversion became normalized, nearly every guy has pressured me to do uncomfortable or degrading(to me) things b/c he couldn't get off …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:50 PM
9

Yup. Way too many people go through a breakup and think "I'm single, what do I do now?!" WHATEVER YOU WANT! It's awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:49 AM
32

I cannot even put into words how much I love being single. There is literally no downside that I've found so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:44 PM
11

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:30 PM
1

Oh for sure! I laugh about the burger thing now too, along with many of the other petty freakouts he had. It was scary at the time but now I just look back and think how embarrassingly immature a person has to be to throw tantrums like that. I have a 3 year old and his tantrums are over in 5 minutes or less, but my ex could scream and stomp for hours lol. He is absolutely a psychopath too. I used to think he was just a narc, but ever since leaving him in 2017 I've been studying personality disor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 02:03 PM
3

Formerly very anxious, now a solid mix of avoidant and secure. I've learned many times over that the only person I can ever truly trust or rely on is myself, but I still enjoy friendships, social support, and I value myself regardless of achievements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:00 PM
3

Not all from one guy, but; "Friends" with his exes Close female friends he hung out with alone Porn with women who looked nothing like me Connected on social media but nobody could tell unless they went to MY profile and looked at my relationship status cause his was set to private and he never posted me or acknowledged me on there Parties I was never invited to Yelling Small lies (later ballooned into big lies) Leaving me on read Blame-shifting & gaslighting whenever I tried to talk about somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:14 AM
4

Same. I spent way too long trying to 'communicate' the same damn things over and over again. I'm still kicking myself for not leaving the first time I told him something he did hurt me and he fauxpologized then did it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:05 AM
27

Yesss this is always fun. I had a porn addict ex who had pinup/model pic wallpapers on every electronic he owned and would get all gaslighty on me whenever I brought up that it made me uncomfortable. His wallpapers all got quietly changed after I set mine to a random beefcake pic and started finding every opportunity to show him memes and stuff on my phone. Fucking hypocritical asshole lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 11:40 AM
3

I went through the same shit and you describe this special kind of hell so eloquently. Big hugs <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:42 AM
26

This is literally the exact reason why I hated going anywhere or doing anything with one of my exes. No matter where we went or who we were with, he'd find a way to objectify any woman in our vicinity. Out somewhere in the summer? Eye-rape every girl in shorts & a tank top. At a restaurant? Flirt with the waitress. Introduce him to one of my friends? He'd go find her on social media and save her pics to his spank bank. But of course I was just "insecure" for having a problem with any of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:40 AM
35

I went to school with a girl who developed super early, she had Cs or Ds by 5th grade. This was 30 years ago but I still clearly remember all the harassment she got from the boys. Constant lewd comments, mockery, and she was even groped a few times. She was a whole head taller than all of us and very rough-and-tumble though, and she finally just started beating them up whenever they messed with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:25 AM
23

I have a son and if I ever find out he's harassing girls, he will have absolute hell to pay. My biggest fear is him turning out to be a douchebag despite all my attempts to raise a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:23 AM
4

My narc ex once flipped out on me when we went to Wendy's and I forgot to tell them no onions or sauces on my burger. I realized my mistake when I unwrapped it and all I said was "Oh damn, I forgot to tell them to make it plain". I was fine with scraping the offending toppings off and eating it anyway but I didn't even get that far before the literal screaming tirade started. I have never before or since seen any human being go that ballistic over something that did not affect them whatsoever. H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 10:07 AM
2

My god she is gorgeous! Saving this post to show my stylist when I can finally go get a haircut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:34 AM
10

I'm like 99% sure I have it, I haven't been diagnosed but I have almost all the symptoms. Unfortunately I live in the south where we have a huge meth problem and any adults trying to get treatment for ADD are treated like drug-seekers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:30 PM
10

Well said. The fact that I've managed to get my shit together and better myself while having PTSD and anxiety is a big reason why I won't date men with mental issues anymore. I'm sure a lot of people will think that's insensitive or discriminatory but I've never met a man who actually sought proper treatment for his mental illness and/or stayed consistent with treatment. They seem to have this attitude that they can handle it, therapy is just fluffy BS, they stop taking their meds when they star…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:20 PM
2

Ugh, yes. As soon as I find out a guy is into anime, or even Japanese culture without actually being Asian himself, I just dry right up. I love Junji Ito's manga but the creepy gamer weebs have completely put me off of anime. My ex-husband was literally the only man I've ever met who liked anime without being a damn weirdo about it. He watched Naruto and stuff like Spirited Away, and there were no obsessive gaming comorbidities either so it was fine. The rest though have all been Asian fetishist…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:04 PM
3

information diggers TIL there's a term for what I am lol I always let men talk while I make a mental list of all the reasons to avoid them. They will tell on themselves so much in a single one-sided conversation that they walked away from thinking they impressed me, even though my only responses were "huh" "wow" or "that's cool".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:32 PM
3

There is no such thing as a mentally healthy person who derives pleasure from being harmed, or from harming others. Periodt. A man describing himself as "kinky" is the #1 sign of an abuser and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:22 PM
37

My dad did this once. I was dating this loser in my early 20s who very quickly moved in with me, and I allowed it cause I felt bad for him(ugh I know). He quit his job after a month cause it was "bullshit", then pressured me to quit my job too. Kept pushing me to have his baby, and I can only assume he had big dreams of being a welfare couple who lives off benefits, I dunno. I was already on the brink of dumping him but then my dad found out this guy was basically squatting in my house and letti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:12 PM
3

He messages your dogs?! Lmaoooooo omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:06 AM
3

All hetero men may be attracted to hot women, but they aren't out there adding them to his followers list next to his mom, his aunts, his friends, his siblings, his wife. Super important distinction^ Every guy I've called out for this shit has thrown the "but all men look!" tantrum and tried to reframe it like I was having an baby-fit over the thought that they might find another woman attractive. No, idiot. I find other guys attractive too sometimes but I don't PUBLICLY ANNOUNCE IT by heart-rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 09:07 PM
3

I'm assuming you changed your account password but that's not enough. You need to remove your account from the shared computer entirely, and go into the settings on every installed browser and remove all your shared logins too. I've encountered several women on reddit who were tracked/hacked by exes even after changing their passwords thanks to the stored logins. Also check your logged in devices on your google/icloud accounts, and make sure he hasn't set up his own phone number or email under t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:46 PM
3

How should she approach him about it, hmm... well, I'd start with throwing his wart medication right at his fucking head and then walking out and going straight to the police station to look into pressing charges against him for knowingly infecting her with an STD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:40 PM
2

Why am I laughing so hard at the batman earring xD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:35 PM
1

Thanks <3 I'm trying my best
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 05:01 AM
8

My son is only 2 and a half and can't exactly contribute much yet, but I'm starting early. This year he got a toy drill, 2 storybooks, a coloring book, and a toy crock pot to go with his Hello Kitty play kitchen. Yes, my boy adores Hello Kitty lol. He absolutely loved his gifts and spent the whole day coloring, cooking, and fixing all of mommy's stuff. I'm a single mom and I want to raise a well-rounded man who enjoys doing things for himself and others, and doesn't believe in anything being "wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:32 PM
24

And they honestly think it's an insult too. Like we're going to hear that and think oh shit I better find a man to settle for quick or else I'm doomed to live a quiet life surrounded by intelligent creatures who give me love, affection, and clean themselves without needing to be forced! Oh no, ANYTHING but that! Lol don't threaten me with a good time bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:58 AM
6

I refuse to date any man that uses any kind of social media or chat platforms. Literally every ex who used social media, cheated on social media. They treat it like a dating site, even the ones who posted me and changed their relationship status. I would think they were proud to be with me but later find out they just edited their privacy settings so only I could see the couple-y posts and they could still look single to everyone else. This means no facebook, IG, snapchat, twitter, twitch, disco…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:10 PM
8

A military gamer in management? Dude you could have just said "malignant narcissist with anger issues and ED seeking a naive young girl to abuse"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:13 PM
20

One of my exes would have blown your mind. He'd fill up his 32gb phone saving porn & nudes, then transfer it all over to his backup drive and proceed to fill up his phone again. And again, and again, and again. I have no idea how much porn he actually had but it had to be AT LEAST a terabyte.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:56 PM
9

Kudos to taking the trash outtttttt! Amen to that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:52 PM
12

5-years-ago-me needed to see this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:47 PM
7

Lol. A few months ago I was going through an old inbox I don't use anymore and found an email from earlier this year from a guy I dated for about a month back in 2007. I dumped him immediately after I found out he had a long-term girlfriend, and I haven't had any contact with him whatsoever since then. 13 years. He hoped I was doing well and wanted to know if he could use me as a job reference xD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:24 PM
21

I'm cackling like the witch that I am, this is almost better than the Ashley Madison hack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:16 PM
15

I am SO excited for this movie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:34 AM
3

Thank you! I love it when my nerdery can help people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:40 AM
6

Cybersecurity geek here. First off, change your phone number. I know, it's a HUGE pain, but this asshole is just gonna keep harassing you as long as he has your number. Make note of any online accounts that are registered to your number in case you have any 2-factor authentication set up and turn off the 2fa off BEFORE changing your number. Turn it back on when you have a new number. Don't give the new number out to anyone but very trusted family & friends either and warn them that this guy is h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:05 PM
17

Every time I say my prayers before bed, I thank god that I'm single. I'll start praying that this woman is single soon as well 🙏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:01 AM
3

I mean, if lesbians are only lesbians cause they haven't met the right guy yet, maybe he only doesn't like pegging cause the right lesbian hasn't pegged him yet 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:14 AM
1

I find that dudes that hate apple products to a ridiculous degree to be ashy as fuck. I've been in tech for almost 2 decades now both professionally and as a hobbyist and ashy as fuck is a PERFECT descriptor for these guys. There's an ocean of difference between people who simply prefer android and the toxic nerds who never shut the fuck up about android vs. apple. Unwashed neckbeards who are clearly intellectually superior to iSheep because their 5 year old prepaid android(that's currently out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:41 AM
3

My 'phantasy' is for the biggest butchest lesbian ever to set up a date with this jackass and beat the crap out of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:05 AM
2

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:02 AM
26

One thing I'm REALLY fucking tired of is women being called "bipolar" whenever they show signs of being sick of men's shit. After my experiences with men who supposedly had bipolar exes I automatically assume "My ex was bipolar" means "My ex did not accept my abuse with a smile"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 05:56 AM
4

I'm 5'1". I either attract teenage boys or old creeps, with only a few actual normal ones to speak of. The teen boys I understand cause I look mid-20s on a bad day even though I'm almost 40, but I've had multiple men my age gush about how much they loved my height and how young I look. I've gotten physically picked up a lot which is just fucking scary, and one guy even said it turned him on that I was- and I quote- the size of a 12 year old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:04 AM
3

He even had a beach towel with a bikini girl on it and a pinup girl vinyl skin on his playstation. Just had to be looking at porn no matter what his beady little eyes fell upon. It's so off-putting even when it's a guy you're not even dating, I don't feel comfortable around men like that. I can't believe there are some women who actually tolerate this either, like are you really okay being with an oversexed brute who has to eye-fuck EVERYTHING? Gross 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:07 AM
24

"I'll work on it" always translates to "I'll pretend I give a shit until I think you've forgotten about it" I had a boyfriend like this once. Checked out & commented on other women 24/7 and had pinups and hentai wallpapers on every electronic device he owned, but got upset when I set a shirtless beefcake pic as my phone background. Maybe if he wasn't so iNsEcUrE it wouldn't have bothered him 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 07:40 PM
6

I am so angry for her. Being shushed, especially by an SO, is one of the few things that will send me into instant rage. If the father of my child dared to shush me during labor... well, I guess his chance of survival would probably be a bit better since we'd already be in a hospital.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:34 PM
99

If my high school pick me self knew I’d grow up to be a Megan Fox sympathizer.... I’m glad I’ve grown. Same, Paris and Britney too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 07:17 AM
6

I had the same experience dating an army guy. He was horribly abusive, could only get off to rape/torture porn, and cheated constantly. Talked about wanting to kill his exes and threatened to kill me too. I don't date anymore but if I did, any kind of military men would be automatically disqualified. The military either attracts psychopaths or creates them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 09:19 PM
2

/r/JustNoSO is another one, some real horror stories on there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:15 PM
17

I spent decades thinking I had some sort of mental illness that made me so jealous, insecure, paranoid, depressed, controlling, delusional, etc. I thought I had all kinds of disorders including but not limited to bipolar disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, even autism because certain symptoms of each seemed to fit me. When I finally got good insurance I saw psychologists, therapists, and even took several different antidepressants and mood stabilizers but nothing e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:12 PM
5

Mine did that too. If I asked again he either got mad or pretended he hadn't heard me the first time, and either way it always turned into an argument about why I was 'interrogating him'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:56 PM
11

There is a whole ass thread on askreddit right now full of pickmes and not-all-men whining about how ghosting is "cowardly" even if the last guy you politely rejected flipped out on you. But they deserve an explanation so they can better themselves! 🙄Yeah, no. First off, not my damn job to educate and empower some guy I barely know so he can better manipulate the next woman. Secondly- at best, you get dragged into an exhausting debate where you're forced to justify why you don't want to date the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:30 PM
6

They will also use their mental illness as an excuse for everything shitty they do in the relationship. Came here to say exactly this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:14 PM
12

I wasted a year on a guy like this and sadly I do think this piggish bullshit is the new normal thanks to the oversaturation of porn & social media addiction. Just one of the many reasons I'm not dating anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:53 PM
2

I love this comment and I fully believe that energy/karma has an influence on our daily lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:46 PM
8

Same here! I'll be 40 in a couple months and my skin has been normal to good for decades, but this past year I started breaking out worse than I ever did in my teens. I started losing hair too. I was about to make an appointment to get my hormones checked but it turned out the cause was a toxic relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:42 PM
9

Same here. I got the same squiggly feeling in my gut as when my ex(es) used to talk to me like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:24 PM
24

I was told the same shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:08 PM
2

I really look forward to reading it when you do. I've had experience with this type too and they're by far the most insidious and damaging. Almost anyone can spot an overt narc but the coverts are sooo good at sucking you in and trapping you in a state of cognitive dissonance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 12:30 PM
2

You know she didn't sit with a lawyer first. Why would she do that, I'm sure they tRuSt EaCh OtHeR! My bowels clench at the thought of how fucked my life would be today if I'd bought a house with any of the exes I was in 'super healthy' relationships with 😵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:51 PM
8

Just say no to military men. They got a lie for every thing. This 1000x. I have dated 3 military guys and all 3 were abusive cheaters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:15 PM
19

Been in many fights exactly like this, but the part I related to the most was her silence after he yelled at her. That was always when I'd have my "fuck this shit" epiphany where I'd instantaneously lose all attraction to him. The moment when everything I was never happy with would hit me like a ton of bricks- he's lazy, lives like a slob, isn't willing to meet me even 1/4 of the way on anything, and now he has the audacity to yell at me? I don't even LIKE this asshole anymore, why the hell am I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:14 PM
11

Yup, basically any site or app with a messaging system is treated as a dating site nowadays 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 05:04 PM
13

I speak from personal experience when I say that guys who collect harems of female 'friends' almost always have ulterior motives for doing so and no matter how much you cOmMunIcAte that it bothers you, they will never stop. They'll swear on their sweet nan's grave that it's purely platonic and they've known them forever and they're like his sisters but they don't actually give a shit about these women, they just fake friendships with them to increase their chances of hooking up with them someday…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:01 PM
59

Yes! They'll talk so much shit about the ex, she's trash and she cheated and she was sO cRaZy, yet they insist on being 'friends' with her ¯\(ツ)/¯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 02:02 PM
151

If he was a dick to his ex and you just can't believe it cause he's sooo sweet to you - just wait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:15 PM
127

Yup. If he's a sweetheart to you and an asshole to everyone else, your turn just hasn't come yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:13 PM
40

Aaaand this is why I will happily grow old alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:42 PM
6

Oh perfect, thanks so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:55 PM
18

My son is only 2 but this is my #1 worry when he starts getting older. Thank god I'm techy, all modem traffic will be logged and there will be the strongest filters I can find in place, along with discussions starting early on about how destructive that shit is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:47 PM
20

I can't tell you how many men have withheld the truth about themselves and their general behaviors that, had I known up front, would have caused me to leave MUCH sooner or never even date them to begin with. "I didn't tell you cause I knew you'd get upset!" = deliberately conning me into staying in a relationship that I would NEVER have consented to be in if given full disclosure of the terms & conditions. It's emotional rape and it's fucking traumatizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:38 PM
1

Same. I should send them the therapy bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:07 PM
3

Yup, we literally cannot win no matter what. Unless we leave and stay single, of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:03 PM
2

Don't stop till you get it girl, take no chances!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 03:37 PM
3

That's the procedure I had, definitely get that one if at all possible! Absolute lowest chance of pregnancy outside of a complete hysterectomy 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:34 PM
5

This. I lost my job right after finding out I was pregnant several years ago and had no financial support so I had to get on medicaid. A lot of people act like it's low-quality care or something to be ashamed of but I had the same amazing doc the rich ladies went to, it covered every last cent of my prenatal care & delivery, AND my de-tubing 6 weeks later. I would not have been able to get it done on my own, and I'm happy that my tax dollars fund it now for any woman that needs it. I have privat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:29 PM
11

I'll be 40 in a couple months and I've decided to permanently bench myself unless Keanu himself shows up at my door with flowers and a ring. I can count every good relationship experience I've had in the past 26 years on one hand. My very first boyfriend when I was 14 cheated on me when I wouldn't sleep with him. The next one when I was 15 also cheated when I wouldn't sleep with him. The next one at 16 was a pathological liar who strung me along for years, and most likely cheated too. In the lat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:07 PM
8

I felt every word of this in my bones. This should be stickied.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 09:55 AM
15

Yet another sobering reminder that entering a relationship is the biggest risk a woman can take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:43 PM
9

I watched it a few days and now my guard is up so high not even the night king and a zombie dragon could get through it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:04 PM
27

That stuck out to me too. She would express her feelings, name the problem, tell him what she needed, and he would text back some flavor of "I promise it's not like that baby, everything's fine!" Total dismissal of her feelings and denial of her reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 11:34 AM
12

Nope, they honestly think he cheated with them because they're better than his wife/GF. They were so captivating, gorgeous, perfect, and understood him so well that he would have been a fool not to pick them. They will be shocked, SHOCKED I tell you when he cheats on them too 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:38 AM
16

Exactly. She was raped and abused by men her whole life, she was just fighting back as far as I'm concerned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:56 AM
7

Its a way to see how desperate you are and thus, how easy you'd be to sleep with and how much shit you'd put up with from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:37 PM
1

Our leads already know what an ass he is but he hasn't technically done anything actionable yet. His joke was "ok I fixed it, may I go to lunch now?" which I took as a sarcastic hint that he thinks I'm just bossing him around. I've been directed to report him the second he crosses a clear line though and I'm eagerly awaiting that moment 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:58 AM
10

This is so damn true. I've stopped using the customer service act on one of my male coworkers who is a mansplaining know-it-all and general pain in everyone's ass. Earlier tonight he did something that I've told him not to do several times now(policy & procedure type stuff). Instead of quietly ignoring it and fixing his mistake myself like I would have in the past, I called him out on it. "Hey why did you do that? I told you before we don't handle X that way, we do it this way instead" He first …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:31 AM
3

And then my elderly diabetic mother too, who will most likely die if she gets it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:18 AM
1

This is something I've noticed too. Guys will have actual clinical depression but won't treat it or else be super lax about making appointments and taking their meds. His depression affects you, but you just have to be understanding and supportive. But when their GFs or wives are sad over a temporary situation and her emotions become an inconvenience to them- Babe, I think antidepressants could really help you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:44 AM
1

Could it be possible that the majority of men are pathological narcissists? If it walks like a duck.... The older I get, the more I strongly believe this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:49 AM
3

“you have problems and you need therapy!” Yup, heard that one a few times. I did actually go to therapy, only to be told I was in an abusive relationship ¯\(ツ)/¯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:41 AM
1

They really aren't shit. When an ex punched me in the face in 2008 I called the cops to report it. They told me that if I wanted him arrested they'd have to arrest me too cause it wasn't assault, it was a "fight" because I hit him back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:39 AM
1

This behavior is why I now screenshot/document everything even remotely hinky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:30 AM
21

My son's dad does this too. He'd make plans to come visit him then cancel last minute with the excuse of "I don't feel good", usually after a night of drinking. Cool cool, I'll just keep doing ALL the parenting no matter how shitty I might feel so you can get your beauty rest. And at least once a month I get a self-pitying text about how I'm a big meanie "keeping his son from him" cause I won't let him visit during quarantine, even though he makes no secret of the fact that he's still partying w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 07:44 AM
1

I feel like I just re-read my old texts with my narcissistic ex. Exact same nitpicking, false superiority over stupid shit, condescension, and starting fights over literally nothing just to have a reason to punish you. Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 05:38 AM
4

I've noticed that in relationships guys do this as a way to lie by omission. Like if you ask "How are you? What did you do today?" they'll answer "I'm good, how are you?" while avoiding actually telling you about their day. Then when you repeat the second question because why wouldn't they tell you what they did that day unless they were doing something they shouldn't be, they act like you're unfairly interrogating them and it turns into a wHy DoNt YoU tRuSt Me argument. That's been my experienc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:03 AM
8

I almost feel angry that some scrote not only thinks I am the kind of person to cheat on my soon-to-be husband As well you should. This is a really great(and often overlooked) indicator that a person has no respect for the rules and boundaries of monogamous relationships and thinks infidelity is okay, and if you were ever to give them a chance they would likely cheat on you. I used to get this shit all the time from guys when I still had social media. The amount of pathetic turds in my inbox beg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:29 PM
8

Not really, they just kind of lost their appeal. I had a lot of piercings(multiple facial and both nips) from 18 to about 33 and I just started feeling faintly ridiculous having a bunch of metal in my face as I got older. Like I was trying too hard to still be 'edgy' or something. The jewelry snagged on everything and it was tricky to wash my face, plus I developed bad allergies in my early 30s and it was really hard to blow my nose with a septum ring and studs in both nostrils. Those ones are s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:50 AM
23

Building what I think is a fulfilling happy life with my partner- sharing a house, cars, pets, hobbies, finances, friend circle, etc- then catching him cheating or finding out he's abusive and having to figure out how to get the hell out of there without getting financially ruined, hurt, or killed. Wait, you said an irrational fear... this has happened to me before and happens to other women all the time. Let's try again. I'm terrified that if I'm ever alone with a man, he'll suddenly snap and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:30 AM
8

Ooh back when I had piercings I was so scared of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:26 AM
2

Aside from the documented negative psychological effects of it, I think I've only dated one or two guys who didn't end up cheating or trying to with someone they met or an ex/old crush they reconnected with on social media. Total dealbreaker for me now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:41 AM
1

Eeuugghh polyamory 🤢🤮🤧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:26 PM
4

Your instincts are on point. A man even using snapchat past high school is a red flag. It's a shady app that was specifically created for sexting. Some frat bro had the idea that girls would be more likely to send nudes if they knew the guy wouldn't be able to save them and thus snapchat was born! It's quite popular with cheaters too. My sage old lady advice is to avoid any guy that uses snapchat, or any social media really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:17 PM
3

Lol the creators of Spanchat have literally admitted they made the app specifically for sexting. I read an article where they described how they came up with the idea because they thought girls would be more likely to send nudes if they knew they'd disappear. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:13 PM
3

She should have kicked him out the second he said he resents her son cause he looks like his father. If a man ever said that to me he'd be wearing his balls for earrings. If you feel resentment when you see your girlfriend's child then don't fucking date a single mom to begin with, but don't you dare think you can somehow oust her child or replace it with one of your own because your tiny pea brain hasn't evolved past the neanderthal stage of seeing a child that's not your own as "competition". …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:10 PM
7

Oh god this triggered a repressed memory. In the early 2010s I briefly dated this guy whose whole identity was atheism and meme culture(this was back in the rage comic days so it was particularly bad). He got the atheist atomic whirl symbol tattooed on his arm, and was very proud of his ability to do the "troll face" smile very convincingly. I need to go rest for a bit after remembering this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:03 PM
20

Exactly. I don't care if my bf winds down after work by playing a game. Hell I don't even care if he plays when I'm over, while I'm reading or messing about on my computer. It's when it becomes their identity or they start neglecting you + real life for games that it becomes a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:57 PM
14

My dad was the ultimate HVM and he never had a single female friend unless you count the little old ladies he played checkers with when he was in assisted living before his death. He always understood the impropriety of sharing emotional intimacy and 1x1 time with other women as a married man. The thought of "hanging out" with another woman without my mom would have never even crossed his mind. I have yet to meet any other man with that level of loyalty and it's depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:49 PM
12

I dated this absolute loser for a couple months in 2012 during my darkest pickme days. He offered literally nothing- had a shitty old car, shitty apartment with no cable or internet, shitty job, prepaid phone that he couldn't keep turned on, etc, and always had to borrow money from me for gas cause he spent all of his on weed. I don't know what I was thinking, he wasn't even cute. I think I was just bored. Anyway, 8 whole years have passed but at least once a year until I deleted facebook I woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:29 PM
3

Same. Every guy I've met who pontificated about his niceness was either just trying to get laid or turned out to be abusive. Wanting recognition for being nice is like expecting a raise for not stealing from your workplace. Being nice, honest, respectful, etc is expected behavior from adults. You don't get a medal for doing the shit you're supposed to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:00 PM
19

It's enraging and the main reason I don't bother with the relationship subs anymore, even as entertainment. I just get too pissed off reading one idiot after another tell female OPs to communicate with their abusive/shitty boyfriends, as if it just never occurs to women to tell our partners what we do and do not like. No fucking shit, communicate. WE DO. It does no good if they don't listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:32 AM
3

Holy shit this happened to me too. Way back in 2011 when I was still naive enough to use dating sites, I put in my bio that I was a computer tech and some random guy managed to figure out where I worked and showed up unannounced. I didn't name my employer but it was small town and mine was one of only 2 computer shops. This creep hadn't even messaged me or matched with me either, he just read my profile and showed up at my job with flowers asking for me. Thank christ I was off that day. The mana…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:09 AM
3

I had a job 10 years ago at an auto parts store that put our full names on the badges. Creeps would hit on me daily and one time one of them squinted at my name tag, read off my full name out loud, and then said he'd find me on facebook later. After that I took a sharpie and scribbled out my last name. Boss bitched, but had no answer when I asked him what purpose having my last name on my badge even served other than to allow perverts to find and harass me online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:26 PM
3

I'm almost surprised none of the Cool Girls in that thread replied that they'd offer to have a threesome with the "gorgeous" friend cause they're not insecure and they like, tOtAlLy ThInK sHeS hOt ToO! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:10 AM
2

I am by no means downplaying other, deeper trauma, just saying this is trauma TOO. Yup, I'm currently in therapy for this kind of trauma. My ex was constantly thirsting after other women while aggressively gaslighting, manipulating, and triangulating me with them. Not just an IG model here & there, but soft & hardcore porn 24/7 and flirting with anything remotely female both online and in real life. Worst porn addict I've ever encountered. Society says you're the crazy one for taking issue with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:45 AM
6

Yes exactly and this is why it's a hard dealbreaker for me now. If he wants to keep in touch with friends & family he can do so with texts & phone calls. I've only EVER met one man who ever used social media responsibly. 9/10 of them use it to meet girls, thirst after 'models', and flirt with exes. It's a powder keg of fuckery & cheating that I will never deal with ever again. It's kind of ironic cause even though I've hated social media for years now, I held onto facebook out of obligation for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:20 AM
12

Dress your best, don't smile at them, don't EVER respond to their "hey", don't laugh at their dumb jokes, and loudly call out every stupid/offensive/negging comment. Creeps are put off by a woman who doesn't seem insecure or receptive to low-effort attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:38 PM
4

Same, and there's a big difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted to them. I might see a good looking guy and have a fleeting thought that he's cute, but I don't find reasons to interact with him, try to get his attention, fantasize about him, etc if I'm in a relationship. That's just super disrespectful and sleazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:38 AM
10

This makes me grateful for my weird hair. It's very coarse and wiry and I have yet to meet another woman with the same hair type. If I were to ever find stray hairs, there'd be no chance of him convincing me it's mine even if it was the same color cause the texture would give it away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:38 AM
13

Yup, people who care about privacy don't even use social media so that's nothing but a BS excuse. If my man had FB or IG or whatever I better be all over that shit. Every last friend better know who I am or he really WILL be as single as he likes to look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:17 PM
38

Jesus Christ how fucking dumb do you have to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 03:22 PM
22

Yup, I just don't like it. It makes me feel icky, it's not a necessary part of life that I have to accept, so I'm just not going to accept it anymore. I'm fully prepared to never be in another relationship again too if this standard makes me undateable. I'd rather be alone than with someone who does shit I don't like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:32 PM
59

You know, I used to not care about porn. It's just strangers he'll never meet, it's just a visual aid, hE lOvEs Me, so whatever! Then I learned what really goes on in the industry and was horrified. But I still played the Cool Girl about amateur porn. They're willingly uploading it(I hoped, anyway) and he'll still never meet them so I rationalized away my discomfort with it. But then I was with the Final Boss of porn addicts for a year who only watched amateur stuff of women who looked NOTHING l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:07 PM
53

You’re a grown ass man, what are you on Snapchat for??? To beg for nudes, that’s literally the only reason any adult male uses it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:50 AM
4

Highly skeptical, mostly because I've been in several abusive and toxic relationships that, when they finally ended, I'd be asked "OMG what happened, you guys seemed so good together!" People can hide their misery quite well in order to save face and live up to societal expectations. I have yet to meet an actual happy, healthy couple aside from my parents, grandparents, and a few gay couples I've known. I thought my older sister and her husband were happy, by all appearances they were a Hallmark…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 09:54 AM
21

I have no respect at all for women who choose ANY man, even the biological father, over their kids. Any man that ever lays a hand on my child will end up as hog feed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 07:49 AM
12

This is so sad and infuriating. The tone of her voice says it all- "I've made a terrible mistake and now I'm stuck with this loser, someone please tell me this is fixable"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:53 AM
13

One of the reasons I dumped my ex a few years ago was for being part of a FB group entitled "Girlfriends and wives in lingerie". Thank god he never had any pics of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 12:04 PM
3

Man I wish tiktok wasn't so shady, there's a lot of good stuff on there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:58 AM
9

Lol I have seriously thought about this before. I've met many amazing, funny, kind, emotionally-healthy gay men and found myself jealous of the boyfriends they treated with such love and respect. It's not fair damnit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:21 PM
8

Right? Who the hell needs 'em. Totally me nowadays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:01 PM
40

He kept trying to push marriage on me saying I should forgive a mistake Lol it's 2020 dude, we're not calling conscious choices "mistakes" anymore. A mistake is turning too tight and hitting a curb. Cheating and lying are calculated, deliberate choices made out of a sociopathic lack of empathy and decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 11:06 AM
35

Yup same, this is my #1 dealbreaker. Literally never once have a I dated a man who didn't cross lines or outright cheat with the exes he claimed were "just friends". Not. Once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 11:04 AM
8

I'd like to add one unless it's in there & I just missed it; Always wants to know exactly what time you're coming over or what time you'll be home if you live together. Alternately, insists on tracking each other's locations for "safety" but really just wants to know when he has to put away the porn or close out his chats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 06:49 AM
69

I've arrived at the "I give up" point after trying to find a suitable partner for two decades. I don't have the motivation nor the energy for relationships anymore. I'm done with the endless cycle of investing my time and emotions into someone, getting to know them, catching feelings, only to find out that they were cheaters, liars, abusive, or had some deal-breaking addiction. I'm 39 and since I first started dating in 1995, I can count on one hand how many guys haven't turned out to be mostly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:40 AM
4

Their "motive" is they have no respect for your boundaries whatsoever, before or after the breakup. They feel entitled to your attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:16 AM
3

Same. I had to either pretend things that upset me were no big deal, or pretend to be happy again because I was given a "sorry" with no cessation of the offending behavior. It's simply not worth it anymore when I can just be alone and not have to worry about making sure a man behaves himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:08 AM
1

Good, and don't beat yourself up. Learning is always ongoing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:08 PM
2

Well my dear, now you know that A) he's a disloyal chud who texts his ex despite having a girlfriend and this is the behavior you can expect if you were to ever get back with him, and B) trying to be friends with an ex is a universally terrible idea... I feel like I re-initiated my feelings for him ...and this is why. Cutting contact with him now that he has a girlfriend wouldn't make you jealous or rude, it would be respectful to both his girlfriend and yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:39 PM
10

I barely have any more hatred to give. Thank you for succinctly putting into words how I've felt for the past few months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:30 PM
4

This would be awesome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:15 AM
5

Shady messaging apps with secret, hidden, and auto-delete options. I forgot to put Telegram & Signal on the list but they're basically the same thing. A good rule of thumb is, unless you live in a country where an alternate messaging app is the norm(like how most Europeans use Whatsapp) there's no innocent reason for a guy to not just use iMessage or regular texting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:23 PM
28

Gets immediately defensive/angry if you ask about any of his female friends, even something as innocuous as asking how he met them. He should WANT you to take interest in his friends and become friends with them too. If he's defensive about them or keeps them separate from you, GTFO. Will act extremely put out and aggrieved if you ask him to change anything about his behavior that bothers you. For example, you ask him to stop flirting or calling his female friends pet names, he will hint at or o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 01:22 PM
21

I think it screams desperation unless you're literally a model who's being paid to advertise the bikini or underwear. A pic of you and your friends at the beach in your bikinis is one thing, but solo sexy pics where you're obviously fishing for likes from dudes- trashy and low-value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:41 AM
2

Hah, relationshit. I thought I was the only one who used that term. It's pathetic really. Literally every guy I've ever dated that had close female friends has lied to me about the nature of their friendships. They'd tell me these women were not their type, were ugly, fat, annoying, etc, but I always found out that they either had a history together that he omitted or outright lied about, and if they didn't it was only because she rejected his advances. Even the "ugly" ones lol. Call me "sexist"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:28 PM
19

For me, no contact after a breakup is pretty normal. It didn't work out for whatever reason, there's no reason to try to force a friendship while you're both trying to get over each other, so let them go and move on. I will agree that if all or many of his exes have him blocked, it's definitely cause for concern though. I'm not friends with my exes, but there's only one that I have blocked and he was a very abusive narcissist. A big red flag on the opposite end of this is if he's still in regula…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 10:13 AM
3

Oh absolutely. I'm sure he'll cringe and die 1000 deaths at his old mom talking about that stuff, but that discussion will definitely be taking place lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 05:12 AM
3

It'll be long, bitter, but highly entertaining 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 12:37 AM
14

I'm lucky enough to have my mom, aunt, and sister helping me. We all live together right now and I know I couldn't have done it on my own without them. He's growing up in a home full of strong women so that's a huge reassurance at least. My main worry is when he starts getting older and going online. I'll be locking the network down like Alcatraz for damn sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 09:28 AM
34

Here's the thing about narcissists- the way they treat you is NO reflection on who you are or what you brought to the relationship. He didn't find someone better than you who was finally worth changing for, who he fell madly in love with and treats like a queen after treating you and everyone else before you like total shit. He found a more compliant victim. Maybe she's not as smart as you and hasn't caught on to his tricks, maybe she's too inexperienced with relationships to distinguish an abus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 09:25 AM
22

I lose sleep over this. My son is only 2 but there's no father in his life and I have my work cut out for me. I'm so glad I'm techy, at least I'll be able to decently monitor his internet usage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:42 AM
6

Well that was vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:24 AM
3

Yeah he was trash. And even worse, her grandma died in a plane crash just as she was starting to pick up the pieces from the divorce. RIP Betty :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 11:21 AM
4

Relationships are basically just hanging out with someone until you figure out what's wrong with them. And some people are so good at sneaking around & keeping secrets that you can go years, decades even, thinking you've found the perfect man only to find out he's been cheating or addicted to teen porn or something. People can just up and change at any time too. My childhood friend's grandpa randomly divorced her grandma well in their 70s because he was "tired of her", and married someone else w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 11:16 AM
3

If I can make a recommendation, Dr. Ramani on youtube is AMAZING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 02:30 AM
16

When you can tell someone's just pretending to be okay with things because she's terrified to be alone. Poor thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:32 PM
21

Yeah this one just made me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:31 PM
10

Gaslighting is intended to manipulate your reality to the point where you question your own sanity. For example, telling you that you didn't see what you know you saw, telling you you're imagining things cause he never said that thing you definitely heard him say, or hiding something of yours, watching you frantically look for it for a while, and then putting it back in the first place you looked. The goal is to convince you to no longer trust your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, and to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:28 PM
5

Dollars to donuts he gets up on a soapbox about "divorce rape" after she finally gets sick of his shit too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:26 PM
7

Shit I have more than that cause I carry the curse of being an empath and I attract narcissists and abusers like flies on shit. But I can honestly say that probably 2/3 of my exes were nice people who just weren't right for me. It took me way too long to learn that if ALL of my boyfriend's exes are crazy, then he is the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:17 PM
6

"crazy bitches" usually means "I treated her like shit and cheated, and she had the gall to get mad about it" Usually you have to date someone for a while before it becomes clear why all their past relationships failed. This one let you know up front lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:15 PM
7

Some guys surround themselves with female "friends" who they gaslight you to the ends of the earth over- you're crazy, stop being so insecure! I don't like her, she's fat, ugly, like a sister, a lesbian, etc. But no matter how much he swears he's not interested in them, you will catch him flirting with them and one of them will be his new girlfriend as soon as you guys break up. Been there too, tried being the cool girlfriend about his female besties and I won't go there ever again. I've reached…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 09:33 AM
13

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 02:42 AM
2

Yup. And to make it even worse, they probably only had 7 teeth between them and neither bathed the entire time she was there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 10:46 AM
3

Putting other women down is stank coochie energy. I said what I said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 08:54 AM
5

Ah, I gotcha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:49 PM
18

Eh.. regardless of why they watch it now, it's not something I'm going to give anyone the benefit of the doubt on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:37 PM
65

"Its just a fantasy! I LOVE you, I PICKED you!" And they conveniently leave out the rest of that statement- "I PICKED you.... to betray, abuse, and hurt!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:51 PM
212

They don't care that those women are raped and abused. They just see "sexy teen gets caught flicking the bean by her stepbrother" and unzip. People always say that a person's porn preferences have nothing to do with their real life desires but when's the last time you found yourself all turned on by someone you weren't attracted to? Yeah, that's what I thought. If a man likes teen porn, he's into underage girls. If he likes porn where women are slapped, choked, degraded, etc, he likes to watch w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:52 AM
8

My gut has never once been wrong and I’ve regretted it every time I didn’t trust the bad feeling I had about a person or situation. Even if you have anxiety, depression, ptsd, whatever, your gut still works and you should always trust it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:21 PM
95

Margaret Hamilton! She wrote the code for the moon landing. Katherine Johnson did the math for spaceflights too. I still remember the epic screeching when Katie Bouman was acknowledged for developing the algorithm for photographing black holes. So many men just can’t handle it when something amazing happens thanks to a smart woman. wHaT aBoUt ThE rEsT oF tHe TeAm!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:10 PM
2

Good points “if you have to get crafty and cunning to get him to stick around it’s not gonna work” This is why I'm not a fan of the "if your man is pulling away, try this proven trick to win him back!" type of dating advice. When he stops caring, so do I, and I'm not going to spend every moment observing and decoding his behavior so I can perform the right tricks to "keep" him. I have neither the time nor the energy to "win back" someone who doesn't wholeheartedly want to be with me. If he wants…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 06:38 AM
7

Oh its the worst. And if any issues ever did actually get discussed, the discussion would consist of him trying to renegotiate my boundaries, convince me that I'm just controlling and sensitive, and insisting that he wouldn't be bothered if I did the same thing so I really don't even have a right to be upset at all. I'm glad I'm here too, even though it really stings to think about all the absolute BULLSHIT I used to put up with 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:29 AM
15

Accepting excuses and guilt-trips whenever I brought up something he did that hurt me, because me being hurt and voicing it made him feel bad. Well no shit, you SHOULD feel bad and I have every right to confront you about your behavior and expect not only a sincere apology, but permanently changed behavior afterward. I know this NOW. But in the past I would end up apologizing to him, promising to choose my words more carefully and be more considerate of HIS feelings next time I aired a grievance…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:17 AM
3

Been there too. It's the worst mindfuck ever when you find out you have no idea who the hell you're actually in a relationship with. Completely destroys your ability to trust anyone anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:54 AM
1

I'm gonna do this when my son starts school!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:18 AM
3

LOVE THIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:17 AM
9

That reminds me of a story that I didn't know was horrifying until I grew up. Late 80s, I was maybe in second grade at the time and was at the grocery store with my mom. We were in the meat section when one of the stockboys came up and started trying to talk to me. He looked mid-20s, maybe early 30s at most. He started asking how old I was, what's my name, where did I go to school, etc. I blurted out my school's name and my mom quickly "corrected" me that I went to the other school across town w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:11 AM
6

Oh FFS. All I get from this wall of text is "I am a lazy partner. I will consistently neglect you, go radio silent, make no effort, have a million excuses for why it's not my fault, and make you feel guilty for having any expectations of me" So he wanted to tell you that if he doesn't respond, his phone probably died- well, why DIDN'T he? He runs several businesses but can't manage to pop into a store to pick up a cheap replacement phone if his is broken? And what businessman can even afford to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:58 AM
3

They hear you the first time you tell them they hurt you. They hurt you again to push your boundaries and see how much you'll tolerate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:41 AM
7

I did the same thing for different reasons. My dad was the ultimate HVM, god rest his soul, but I changed my last name to my mom's maiden name to honor her. My son got my maiden name in exchange.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:54 PM
9

This is why my son has my maiden name. Also, WTF is up with "maiden name"? That's so weird. Like getting married is what changes you from a maiden to a legitimate woman or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:51 PM
7

Pssh. That would require having respect for others' boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:13 PM
9

At least you'll know you've done the right thing though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 12:20 PM
15

Me too. It's never funny when someone catches a disease but damn if I didn't cackle at "Sex on the first date is the only way to live!" followed by "If you've followed my HPV journey..." I'm sorry but 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:47 AM
24

Back in my 20s when I'd go out with my best friend, we used to tell creepy guys we were a gay couple so they'd leave us alone but most of the time it just made it worse. "tHaT's HoT CaN i WaTcH?!" UGH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:36 AM
15

Please tell her :/ I've been the girlfriend in this scenario numerous times and I dearly wish all those female friends would have tattled on my boyfriends to me. Would have saved me so much time & heartbreak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:20 AM
31

This is why I always call bullshit on "Don't worry babe, she's a lesbian!" So what? Even if she is and he's not just lying to your face so you'll shut up and let him pursue her in peace- when has any woman's lesbianism EVER stopped a man from trying to sleep with her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:12 AM
37

So glad he got to just keep feeling fat. lmaoooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:48 AM
4

Thankfully I never encountered that, but it does happen. The shop I worked at had the standard policy of calling the cops if we ever found CP. I definitely found plenty of standard porn and mysterious crust on keyboards though 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:06 PM
2

Red pill horse shit designed to blame us for not wanting to fuck them. It gives them permission to harass and manipulate women in the hopes that we'll give in during a moment of "spontaneous desire".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:51 PM
6

As a former computer repair tech- it is very real. It's why I always kept gloves & hand sanitizer at my work station.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:32 PM
2

I think my instincts are just fine thanks, I think you just underestimated them Ooh I just got chills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:21 PM
13

You don't "confront him", you pack your shit and get the fuck out of there before his psychopathic ass wakes up. Holy shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:16 PM
8

This killed me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:40 AM
10

Welcome to the club :) Same story for me, was always 'one of the guys' until it dawned on me that just about every straight male friend I've ever had has either declared feelings or tried to sleep with me at some point. I'll be 40 soon and I can count on just a few fingers how many guy friends haven't done this. I no longer form friendships with men anymore unless they're verifiably gay, and I no longer date men with female friends either. Unless your man's lady friends are absolutely grotesque,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:59 AM
10

I think it has to do with age & social media. I have a selfie-happy ex too and he was also a lot younger than me and suuuuper into snapchat & IG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:45 AM
17

My 2 year old is more helpful AND can feed himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 02:43 AM
3

Well duh, can't have all the other girls seeing your stuff there and figuring out that he has a girlfriend 🙄 So glad you dumped him. How did he react?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 02:35 AM
19

My heart just aches when I think about the person he used to be. That's just it though, he never WAS that person. He faked being that person to lure you into dating him. He was never Bruce Banner, he was always The Hulk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 09:48 AM
13

Nope nope nope. He literally told you he's not sure he wants you when he WAS sure he wanted his ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:40 AM
1

This is a guy who will ask you to call him daddy in bed 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 11:22 AM
3

Uses flattery to get laid, will definitely cheat Looking for a bangmaid, probably has an Asian fetish Boooooriiing Will verbally abuse you then call you sensitive "I will never make any plans, you will always be the one to pick what we watch, eat, and do. Oh, and do you mind paying? I forgot my wallet!" Pretentious narcissist who will argue with your opinions and experiences Angry shortcel who will constantly perceive slights and never believe that you don't secretly lust after tall men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 11:08 AM
3

Back in 2012 I was dating a guy that was a bit iffy. My cat would pee on his backpack every time he came over. 4 years ago I was with a narcissist and my dog was always super nervous around him and peed inside whenever he was around. They know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 10:45 AM
1

Even at my most desperate I would have dumped my BF on the spot for pulling some shit like this. The fuck...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 10:42 AM
2

TRP teaches men to exploit, manipulate, and abuse women for their benefit. FDS teaches women to improve, love, and protect ourselves from those kind of men. I really can't see how anyone could in good conscience equate the two. Then again, consciences seem to be rare nowadays 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 10:23 AM
2

LMAO this could be my ex. He always used to use that damn monkey emoji 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:12 AM
3

Do they actually believe this...? And more importantly, do any women outside of the most thoroughly desperate ones with zero self-esteem believe it? I can't remember a single time when I or any other woman I've ever known have felt anything but pure revulsion for men who treat us like "options". Biggest turnoff ever and the surest way for him to get ghosted. And they certainly don't become more valuable or attractive if they cheat. Exact opposite, they instantly become gutter trash that I lose A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:25 AM
7

They tell themselves this BS about women never knowing what we want just so they can blame us for not "communicating" when they knowingly do terrible shit. I am the easiest lady to please. Don't cheat, don't flirt, don't lie, pay attention to me, and pull your emotional and financial weight in the relationship. I also outline my more specific boundaries & dealbreakers within the first few weeks of the relationship so simply that an infant would understand. Be honest, loyal, and respectful and I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 11:07 AM
1

I guess I hurt some fee-fees too, I got banned from there last week for my comment on the thread where that little d-bag stole his girlfriend's laptop. Darn ¯\(ツ)/¯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 07:38 AM
5

He's hoping to hook up with 22F. Prove me wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 05:33 AM
122

I've gotten downvoted to hell in other subs for saying that as a rule, human behavior follows patterns and past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. If they do something bad once, the chances are pretty high that they will do it again. But go ahead, give that guy who pays for porn, is best friends with his ex, and has already cheated twice in your 8 month relationship another chance. I'm sure THIS time he totally means it when he says he's sorry and he won't hurt you again 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:50 AM
4

Tale as old as time, my friend. Been there, dumped them for this exact same bullshit. It IS cheating and it's just as disrespectful, disgusting, and heartbreaking as physical cheating. This is why I no longer date men who have close friendships(meaning texting, hanging out, etc) with women and am always prepared to end it if I find out my SO is talking to other women behind my back. Hard pass on that. Acquaintances he says hi to once in a while- fine. Friendly with the office ladies- fine. But h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:10 AM
8

"My much younger girlfriend who I thought would be easy to manipulate has been resistant to my repeated attempts to cross her boundaries and coerce her into doing things she doesn't want to do. All I want to do is fuck her friends and perform a medically damaging sexual act on her and she won't let me! Clearly I am the victim here and she is an unreasonable bitch who doesn't want me to be happy. Reddit, validate meeeee!" I fucking hope he dumps that poor girl before she ends up with lasting trau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:04 AM
55

The poly pushers always talk about monogamy as if we all secretly want multiple partners but are forced to stay with one person at proverbial gunpoint by, idk, the church?(they usually cite Christianity as the reason we’re all “forced” into monogamy). I am not religious. I like monogamy. I don’t want to share my partner not do I want more than one. The thought of either of us sleeping with someone else nauseates me. Polyamory seems best suited for people who are bad at picking faithful partners,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:32 AM
29

"Patterns, not promises" has become my gospel. I've reached a point where I all but tune out apologies and promises and observe actions instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 10:19 AM
2

I'm still counting 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 07:28 AM
9

Let's start one! I gleefully volunteer to mod it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:22 AM
4

So this person's "partner" is paying another woman for sexual content in order to indulge some creepy kink, and OP is beating herself up for not being happy about it. Yup, sounds about right for modern dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 07:06 AM
25

Oh jesus 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:20 PM
11

Thanks, this is good. He's only 2 now so I have plenty of time, and I'm hoping that things might even change by the time he starts getting to that age. Fat chance, but I hope. lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:11 PM
64

Like Talulah or any other celebrity gives a fuck. Right?! The narcissism, I swear. I had an ex, different one, who used to do this. He once posted some stupid comment on Cristina Scabbia's facebook about how he has the same sweatshirt she was wearing in her picture and waxed idiotic about great minds thinking alike or some shit. I think he honestly expected her to reply. These men are nothing to famous women, hell, they're nothing even to the no-name insta-thots they think they have a chance wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:53 AM
6

Ah, I remember a time when backhanded compliments & thinly-veiled misogyny used to make me feel special too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 10:39 AM
23

Yup he has a history of being "friends" with underage girls and texting them, Millie Bobby Brown and Billie Eilish for example. So creepy & gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 08:32 AM
15

Oh man, I am the worst at this. I want people to know exactly what they've done wrong, it's so hard to just bite my tongue and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:43 AM
279

Good for you. I dumped an ex(who's also 39, creepy coincidence) in large part b/c of his excessive use of social media for porn and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. So many people nowadays overlook this behavior as harmless but it's so fucking gross. It's death by 1000 cuts for the wives and girlfriends of the men who do it. Every like and heart-eye emoji on some other woman's sexy pics just chips away at your self-esteem, your security, and your attraction to him. Following generic porn pages is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:36 AM
154

I see so many posts in the relationships subs about this. Always some flavor of the "am I allowed to have feelings?" post, but posts about an SO's social media behavior are becoming more & more common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:36 AM
39

I'm almost 40 and I've witnessed the shift over the past couple decades. It sucks and I hate it both for me and my son. He's going to grow up in a world where all sorts of harmful and downright disgusting perversions are praised as normal and healthy. I have no idea what to do about it either aside from just doing my best to teach him how to treat girls with respect and closely monitoring his internet access once he starts going online. I don't know how I'll cope if he gets into the furry commun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:23 AM
2

I'm glad I'm not alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 02:33 AM
1

Right? Some women put stickers on their cars that say "bitch inside", it doesn't hurt us. lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 02:33 AM
8

Not talking about my past trauma. It's not some shameful secret nor has it made me weak or anything, and I'd be upset if he withheld such key information from me. Plus, if a man reacts poorly or tries to blame me for being "damaged", boom- early asshole detection system. lol. Not bringing up my boundaries/dealbreakers and just blocking him if he violates them. I have a couple of hard boundaries regarding somewhat common/widely accepted things, like I will not date a guy that has close female fri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 11:26 AM
102

YoU'rE a BiTcH Homie, I've been called far worse by far better than you. Try harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 06:45 AM
5

I’m in IT and I’ve found that most are, even if they hide it well at first. Some stereotypes are mostly true. I’ve met some tech guys who aren’t weird or creepy, but they’re usually either gay, in the field out of a pure love of tech, or just end up in it due to what job opportunities were available at the time. I’ve noticed that tech and weeb shit/incel culture tend to cross paths a lot, and the creepiest ones are the ones who have anime figures in their cubicles and seem to be really impressed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:29 AM
8

Dear, he IS a porn addict. This is just a different kind of porn. Stop blaming your perfectly normal objections to this gross behavior on “insecurity”. Any guy who actually cares about you won’t thirst over any other woman in any way, and he’ll make every effort to make you feel as safe and happy as possible with him. My ex used to follow “models” and he got dumped for it. If my current ever starts doing it, he’ll be dumped too. I don’t put up with that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:15 AM
8

My thoughts exactly. The way she immediately started trying to explain herself was 100% me with my narc ex. If this was out of character for him she would have been like “excuse me?” instead of instantly accepting that she did something wrong. I feel like she gets the JADE treatment a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:00 AM
67

I still remember one incident with an ex 15 years ago. He was randomly showing me some of his porn and I could tell he was getting excited by it. I was trying to be open minded(🤡) thinking well it’s porn, of course he’s gonna get turned on, at least he’s bEiNg OpEn WiTh Me! Then he blurted out “if you looked like that I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you!” referring to the porn star. I went silent and just stared at him. He quietly closed the laptop and knew he’d fucked up. I went into…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:51 AM
2

Honestly I haven't really looked into this since I just use Apple music & Spotify, but I'm pretty sure you can. I know even before I jailbroke though, I could download pretty much any file from the web and store it either in iCloud or on my phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:05 PM
2

Jailbreaking or rooting allows the user to have a lot more control over their phone and modify system processes & files. For example, my iPhone is jailbroken and I can change my icons & status bar, I have the weather on my lockscreen, I have 5 columns of icons on my homescreen instead of just 4, I have a custom wallpaper in my settings & messages instead of a black or white background, my message bubbles are purple, etc. I jailbreak mainly for theming and fixing small things that annoy me about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:37 PM
4

Alright! Might take me a while cause I wanna be thorough, but I'll start compiling a post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:23 PM
6

Spot on, all of it. I don't blind trust anyone either, not anymore. I could spend 50 years with a man and I'd still only trust him like 90% even if he never does a thing wrong cause people can blindside you any time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:08 AM
36

I've thought about it and I probably will, as soon as I have enough free time to put together a nice big post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:03 AM
37

Maybe I'm old and cynical but this doesn't really prove much to me even though I desperately want it to be real. If it is real, that's awesome. But it's beyond easy to just hide and delete stuff too. I've been in the phone modding scene for 15 years now and you wouldn't believe how many ways there are to hide shit, especially if your phone's jailbroken or rooted. My phone's jailbroken and I could install all sorts of "secrecy" tweaks if I was a cheating piece of shit. It's depressing how many qu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:49 AM
27

My ex was like this. Gave me his code, didn't hide his screen, left his phone laying around, etc. He just used secret apps, deleted conversations, and would only talk to his side chicks when he was alone. He would block them when he was at home, then unblock them and start chatting as soon as he left for work. Never underestimate how far cheaters will go to cheat, him handing you his phone really doesn't mean anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:39 AM
3

Right there with you. I used to be the Cool Girl about this but after getting burned pretty much every time I'm just done with it. Casual female friends & acquaintances are one thing, but no close female friends, no frequent messaging, no going to each other for moral support, and definitely no hanging out one on one. I don't care if this makes me unpopular or even undateable, and I suppose I could fall into the "trust issues" category but I've learned well from past experiences and I'm no longe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:44 AM
4

I used to date ugly/fat/slobby guys in the past, thinking that since they aren't able to get by on looks then surely they would have a great personality to make up for it and would appreciate me because I was able to look past their exteriors. LOL. Some of the most abusive, lying, unfaithful, manipulative, absolute no-value assholes I've ever dated were also the worst looking. The funny thing is though- most of the things that made these guys ugly boiled down to a lack of self-care and hygiene. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:55 PM
2

Lol yep, instant recoil!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 02:31 AM
9

Yup exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:51 AM
6

I would sew my vag shut with a dull needle and thread soaked in ghost pepper juice before I'd ever take part in a poly relationship, and if my partner ever so much as hinted at any interest in non-monogamy I'd walk immediately. I can think of few things less appealing 🤮 It's always the least attractive people who are into 'the lifestyle' too. I've never seen a single good-looking, physically fit, emotionally healthy poly person. Pasty, doughy LARPers with smudgy glasses and wispy beards who only…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 05:17 AM
98

Male golddiggers are exceedingly common, I've met many and my former stepdad tried to pull this shit on my mom. When they were still married she was involved in a medical lawsuit where she was going to be getting a big settlement. He found out about it around the time she had started divorce proceedings and the shitbag actually drafted up a document stating that he was entitled to half of her settlement as part of the divorce. Threatened her that if she didn't sign it, he'd fight the divorce eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:18 AM
10

I have, they were all gay though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 07:31 PM
3

Yup, twice. First time was like 15 years ago. One day I called the guy and his girlfriend answered and cussed me out. She went through his phone and found our texts. I knew who she was because they had a kid together but I had no idea they were actually still together, the bastard lied to me. I guess she got my number from his phone cause she texted me later that night apologizing for blowing up and asking for more details. I spilled every last bean including all the shit he'd talked about her. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 08:27 AM
9

Trusting my gut took me a long time to learn, but it's the most invaluable instinct you will ever have. My gut has gone off literally every time a guy I was with was up to something. Even if it took me a while to find proof, I always eventually DID find it. It's never once been wrong. And don't discount your gut feelings just because you have anxiety either. I have anxiety too but you can learn to differentiate between general anxiety about potential harm and a legitimate bad feeling about a spe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 05:44 AM
11

Ah, I see you've met several of my exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 05:36 AM
5

If I were her that man would be on life support right now. I've put up with some shit in my day but if you hurt my kids, my pets, or my family and I find out, I will grab the nearest heavy object and start swinging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:34 PM
19

This idiot watches too much porn. He probably thinks if he pits two women against each other, they'll catfight over him and end up making out with each other and ask him to join in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 10:53 AM
6

An invitation to jack off to a dead woman, made worse by the fact that her involvement in sex work almost certainly contributed to her suicide. Stay classy, men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 06:11 AM
2

Thank you, the best day of my life was when I kicked him out. Sadly this is barely a drop in the bucket of shit that was him, and he's now engaged to another victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 11:51 PM
2

I dug it back out and here are some excerpts(leaving all his typos & bad grammar intact lol); "So I look at pics that other people post. Instead of it being of a car or a weapon, or a dog, its a chick. I have no communications with anyone on those sites. I told you from the start, If i like a pic, regardless of what it is, I like, hate, laugh, wow,or sad the post. Every once in a while i post a comment, but it is never to any of the chick's pics. I respect our relationship, I respect you and wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 06:15 PM
14

Sorry it happened to you too. Nobody deserves that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:58 AM
69

They assume that our trauma is going to affect the relationship and make us act "crazy", thereby causing THEM to suffer because they might have to do things that are just egregiously out of scope like comfort us if we're upset, or refrain from rough sex or yelling at us so as not to trigger a flashback. And of course it's ALL on us cause we should have just never gotten raped or abused to begin with! Why didn't we fight back, or just leave? Several years ago I foolishly confided in a now former …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 06:17 AM
94

I have read so many posts from men who say it’s a “red flag” if a woman tells them she’s been raped or abused. Guess were supposed to just keep that to ourselves to avoid making men uneasy 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:28 AM
4

The gaslighting was most definitely the worst part. Like, I could have forgiven if his response the first time I brought it up had been to apologize for not thinking that this might bother me and then unfollow all of them, but no. It was a manbaby rage-fit about how crazy, insecure, controlling, and unreasonable I was. It's just pictures, it's not like he's cheating, if I loved myself I wouldn't MIND him ogling other women, if I don't like it then I should just stay off social media, etc. It was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:12 AM
5

b i n g o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:51 PM
14

Nope, this automatically makes a guy LV. Twitch girls(AKA camgirls with plausible deniability) count too. I dumped my ex for this shit and I wouldn't hesitate to again. It's incredibly trashy & tacky, and yet another reason why social media is a borderline-dealbreaker for me unless he REALLY minds his Ps & Qs. It's unfortunately a growing problem in men nowadays too, they're so thoroughly porn addicted that they have to see half-naked women everywhere they look. And of course women are usually g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:42 PM
18

Tie up the loose ends and close the door. It's one thing to be cordial if you see him in group settings but maintaining an actual friendship with any ex will only bring confusion, give him hope, and cause problems in your future relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:14 PM
98

Exactly what I've been saying for years and I will screech this shit from a mountaintop till the day I die- men like women's posts to get their attention. If he stops liking yours, rest assured he's off liking someone else's. If you're in a relationship and he's liking some other girl's selfies don't believe him for one split second when he tells you he likes everyone's pics or he just thought it was a good picture. That like is the equivalent of a flirty wink and he's hoping she'll start paying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:01 PM
15

I have honestly lost sleep over some of the advice given there. "My boyfriend spent his entire paycheck on OnlyFans and cheated on me with his ex. Am I allowed to be upset?" "YoU sOuNd SuPeR cOnTrOlLiNg"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:32 PM
5

Men themselves aren't really going to change the way they see you, cheaters are gonna cheat no matter what. They'll still try to trick you, but we're far better equipped to recognize the red flags early instead of being "understanding" and giving them the benefit of the doubt when your gut is going off. The biggest changes so far have been in my self-esteem and the ability to enforce boundaries. Stuff I'd overlook or forgive in the past, I slam the brakes on now. I used to think I had to be endl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:28 PM
4

I wish I could say that's shocking, but it's basically par for the course. I would have added his wife's email to his profile and set it to email her every time he gets tagged in anything or gets a message. lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:04 PM
13

I guess objectively it would depend on their activity level. If he rarely posts anything and doesn't get on it much at all, it's not THAT big a deal as long as his relationship status is visible and people know he's with me. If he's active though, there better be pictures of me/us, his friends better know who I am, and he better not be trying to hide his activity or acting weird about his messages. Honestly though- either way it doesn't matter. I've dated guys who were active on facebook, who po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:46 PM
7

Oh god I LOVE it when this happens 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:39 AM
3

You can see the Divine in this woman's kind face. Angels are real and she is one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:30 PM
29

I shuddered at how accurate this is to 90% of the advice on r/relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 11:54 AM
38

I've dealt with so many guys who got legit offended when I told them that something they said or did was not okay. "You're making me feel like a piece of shit, how dare you!" when all I did was explain using "I feel" statements that X thing upset me and asked them not to do it again. Kind of a tangent here but I'm really starting to think the current crop of shitty men were born of the 90s-to-present "never make a child feel bad, everyone gets a trophy, reward instead of punish, everyone is spec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 10:25 AM
1

Why isn't she blocked? Why is she still even able to initiate contact?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:49 PM
5

Pretty early on, ideally before we're official. That way if you have to walk away you can do it before you invest any emotions into him. I kind of gauge their personality over the course of the first few dates, check out their social media to check his interactions with other women, then bring it up after that. I'll say something like "I can see this going somewhere, but I have a pretty stiff boundary about friendships with exes. It's a dealbreaker for me so I'd like to discuss it now to avoid i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:45 PM
1

Its a total shit situation to be in if you really like the guy but the longer they were together, the more of a threat to you their friendship is. That's almost a guarantee that there are lingering feelings or hopes that it'll work out some day when the time is right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 03:10 PM
7

My overwhelming experience with this is that they'll tell you they cut her off just so you'll stop bringing it up, but they'll keep in touch with her behind your back anyway. Social media makes it super easy to sneak around too, even if he doesn't have her added they can still message each other. You'll catch him talking to her again eventually, so it's just easier to start fresh with a guy who doesn't believe in keeping a harem of exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:47 PM
15

Sometimes even communicating a boundary with guys can be interpreted as an invitation for them to debate you on it. This has been my experience 99.9% of the time. Me- Hey, this is a hardcore boundary for me that's not up for discussion. X behavior makes me deeply uncomfortable and while it's your right to engage in it, I will leave if you do it again. Him- WOW. Here's an list of reasons why your boundary is irrational, stupid, and manipulative and why having it makes you unreasonable and crazy. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:44 PM
12

I really needed to hear this and I stan this whole post so hard. Modern dating really pushes staying friends with exes because it supposedly shows "maturity", and dictates that anyone who isn't comfortable with their SO remaining close with an ex is just controlling, insecure, and toxic. But I fail to see what's mature about never fully moving on from your past relationships and potentially ruining your new one by forcing your new SO to put up the continued intrusive presence of your ex. They're…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:28 PM
106

I am in full support of these pathetic men fucking dolls if it keeps them away from real women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 03:11 PM
5

Proof that they think being held accountable for their bad behavior is somehow vctimization and hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:12 AM
2

Someone I can feel safe with. Fidelity, both emotional and physical. Honesty. Respect. Romance. Attention. Empathy. Good conversations. Shared interests. Mutual attraction. Basically, a best friend that I'm in love with. Money comes last on the list for me, I have my own money. He needs to be gainfully employed with a good work ethic of course, and I don't want a man who I have to support but I refuse to rely on a man for money cause then I'm stuck with him if it ever goes sour. I've read far to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:09 AM
8

This is exactly it. No healthy person is proud of being an asshole, he's just setting up plausible deniability to treat you like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:53 AM
17

I found it thanks to a link in a comment bashing a sub full of crazy misandrists. Clicked out of curiosity and I was like wait a minute.... these women are smart, confident, and give actual good advice instead of just pushing the fake "equality" and self-gaslighting that other relationship subs do. lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:06 AM
1

Thanks, it's all good though! This was like 12 years ago and a very, very short relationship so it didn't really affect me beyond some temporary fear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:44 AM
5

This same guy would go on to punch me in the face while I was driving shortly after that incident, which I did try to file a police report for but got denied. The cops said that since I hit him back, it was a fight instead of assault. He did get caught downloading CP about a year later and did some prison time though, so I guess it (sort of) worked out in the end...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:34 AM
2

Yet another reason why anime is one of my dealbreakers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 09:18 AM
5

Same. I once had a guy tell me "is it bad that it turns me on that you're the size of a 12 year old?" Yes you fucking chud, that's VERY bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 09:16 AM
14

I was with one like that for a year and it had the same effect on me too. It was years ago but I still remember this one time in summer when we went to starbucks and this girl with huge boobs and a big butt wearing short shorts and a flimsy tank top came in and got in line behind us. She was gorgeous and I groaned internally cause I just knew he was going to gawk at her and I was going to lose my appetite and feel like shit for the rest of the day. Sure enough, as soon as he noticed her the bast…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 02:08 PM
33

I'm really showing my age here but Shannon Tweed. Stayed with Gene Simmons through decades of nonstop cheating(dude banged nearly 5,000 groupies and took pictures of each one), had kids with him, and joyously ended her forever girlfriend status when he finally proposed after 28 years even though he couldn't promise to be faithful even after the marriage. Puke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:33 AM
3

I fully believe it. Would love to see those studies though, just to validate how I've always felt about this topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:35 AM
20

What timing, I just ended a 2 year relationship over this same bullshit with exes too. Anything other than an immediate sincere apology followed by observable, permanent changes in behavior is grounds to walk. But I Can jUst Talk to hIm, or we HaD a VErY good Talk about blah blah blah...has he changed? Has he improved? Probably not. Or maybe he did for a week. He knows he’s upset you. He went to school. He works a complicated job. He knows how to take instruction. He’s NOT that dumb, he just car…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:31 AM
15

I've reached a point of such absolute fed-uppedness with men that even hearing them breathe counts as a red flag for me now, but IF I were to ever date again my dealbreakers would be; Friendships with women that go beyond light cordiality Friendships with exes, even casual friendships (hard dealbreaker there) Doesn't introduce me to family & friends Social media use Porn Strip clubs Secrecy with his phone or computer Doesn't take my feelings seriously EVER telling me "calm down", "it's not a big…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:42 AM
32

Be his personal chef, his bedmaid, keep your hands off his precious phone so he can cheat in peace, and fuck off with your stupid thoughts and feelings. Yup, sounds about right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:21 PM
26

A) Sex, power, wealth, and control B) The big distinction is that HVM respect womens' feelings, choices, and autonomy. I haven't done enough research to have an official opinion on nature vs. nurture, but just based on how many serial killers were abused as children I'm leaning toward nurture. C) Yes D) In a damn heartbeat
/r/askFDS31/03/20 10:59 AM
28

Was in this same situation until very recently. Just leave. Sometimes the damage is done regardless of whether they finally see the light and change or not. Newfound good behavior doesn't erase all the bad past behavior that broke your heart. Sometimes your well of forgiveness just runs dry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 08:37 PM
3

Very glad to help :) he’d constantly tell me I was overthinking things, rather than apologize Dismissing your emotions or concerns is a pretty dead giveaway and a very good way to tell what kind of person you're dealing with. A normal, healthy person may not always understand why you're upset over something they said or did, but the difference is they will focus on the fact that they upset you. They'll apologize and take care to not hurt you again even if they don't understand why what they did …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 10:18 AM
9

My main interest regarding psychology is narcissism and relationship abuse since I've dealt with so much of it, but I think this topic should be required reading for EVERY woman since narcissism is absolutely rampant in men nowadays. Even if a man isn't actually a narc, most are exhibiting narc behaviors and traits thanks to the current state of dating and society in general encouraging such things, so it's relevant knowledge either way. The all time GOAT ~ The Gift of Fear The Verbally Abusive …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:27 AM
16

I have a good career that pays well and allows me to set up a good future for me and my son. I'm a good friend- there for them when they need genuine help or just a shoulder, but I give it to them straight if they're causing their own problems too. I take care of myself- hair done, nails done, skincare, etc. I study psychology as a hobby and it adds to my life in many ways, a big one being that I can read people like a damn book and take NO shit anymore. I'm smart- techy, witty, linguistic, mech…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:21 AM
12

This is the kind of woman who stays with a man after he molests her child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 02:54 AM
2

Yup. I think it took finding out that my behavior was classified as a disorder to wake me up out of my belief that I was just being a loyal and supportive girlfriend to a "misunderstood" man. If I hadn't had that shock of hearing a 'clinical' name for it, I may never have snapped out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:54 PM
37

Yup, I've been saying this shit for years now and I've yet to be proven wrong. I would never date any guy that uses snapchat, kik, telegram, whatsapp, etc, and I'm very close to social media use in general becoming a dealbreaker. People vastly underestimate the significance of online behavior but it's playing an ever-increasing role in divorces & breakups. How people act online matters and it's as good a way to judge a guy's intentions and commitment as anything else. Liking girls' pics or posti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 11:25 AM
18

God, that "he chose you!" shit makes my blood boil. Yeah, my ex "chose me" too but he still cheated all over the place and treated me like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 10:31 AM
31

This is exactly why they do it too. MUCH harder to get laid when other girls know he has a girlfriend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 08:37 AM
34

I'm a big psychology buff and I honestly think it's a form of narcissistic rage. They're threatened that we've figured them out, they're scared that this sub is growing all the time because now cracks are beginning to form in their facade of 'equality' in dating & sex that they've so carefully constructed with the help of liberal feminism, porn, and woke culture. We're blowing their cover and it makes them panic. The more women who catch on, the fewer toys they'll have to play with so in a despe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:16 AM
7

The only man I actually have good, reciprocal, and equal conversations with is my gay friend from work. Make of that what you will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:05 AM
8

This is abuse and callous, deliberate humiliation. She should have dumped him on the spot and then reported him to the DM and the health dept for selling expired food. When I was 19 I had a BF who worked at a pub and every time I'd come in, he'd throw in a fresh batch of fries just for me, AND never charged me. If I brought my best friend with me, she got fresh free fries too. THAT'S how you fucking do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:42 AM
4

I was embarrassed and angry for a long time too but I had to just forgive myself. It was part of my journey into who I am today. I didn't know any better at the time and I thought I was making my SO happy by putting my needs, wants, and feelings second. Plus, I grew up in a society that teaches girls that if a boy is mean to you, it just means they like you. Nowadays women are basically set up from childhood to fall into that cool girl shit so it's actually more unusual if they don't go through …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 07:51 AM
44

My ex used to deliberately piss me off cause I was "hot" when I was mad. It's just another way they invalidate and belittle our emotions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 07:38 AM
16

Something like this actually happened to a male friend of mine many years ago. He met a pretty girl on facebook and things got hot & heavy, and soon they were skyping. He couldn't see her and she gave some excuse about her camera being broken but she still could see him and wanted to watch him whack it. So he pulls the pickle on camera and immediately afterward she says she recorded him and was going to send the video to all his friends & family if he didn't send her $1000. He sent her $300 but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 06:55 AM
5

I've been spending a lot of quality time with my son and I finally bit the bullet on jailbreaking my phone. Been wanting to do that for a very long time but always hesitated because I've only ever modded android and I knew less than nothing about modding iOS, but I finally did it and it's been fun trying out different tweaks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:56 AM
21

AITA has been infiltrated by them too. Sooo many “AITA for not ever doing shit for anyone no matter what?” Last week there was a thread from a guy who refused to help his girlfriend carry her work from home supplies into the house cause he was “busy” planning out the pets’ meal plan or something and she was capable of getting it herself so why should he have to help. He couldn’t figure out why she was mad at him. People were having to explain that you should do nice things for other people even …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 09:18 PM
29

I adore that book, I've read it numerous times. It was one of the only things that actually helped me recover from the abuse from my narc ex and stop allowing myself to be manipulated and gaslighted. I'm 39 and up until around last year I had a habit of ignoring my gut in favor of being "nice" to men I felt uneasy around because you know, I COULD be wrong. I'm just being judgemental, people are mostly good deep down, right? Forgive and forget, everyone deserves a second chance! Several abusive r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:17 AM
45

I don't remember the term either but this tactic was outlined & explained in The Gift of Fear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 03:28 AM
2

I have to go get treated for multiple STDs after reading that thread. Barfarama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 09:20 AM
16

This is exactly why you bail at the first signs of fuckery. The longer you stay, the more shit you forgive, the more emotionally invested you get and the harder it is to leave. I cannot fathom wasting 32 years with a porn addicted abusive old bastard. I am so sad for this poor woman, she must feel so stuck. The thought of being single and starting over in her 50s is probably terrifying for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 06:59 AM
3

That can definitely be a factor as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:41 PM
12

Yup. I've reached the point in life where I'm done doing all the emotional labor in relationships or taking care of anyone who is not my actual child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:52 AM
21

I'd call it more of a compulsion or conditioned behavior, but I can't really judge them too harshly either because look at the dating environment we exist in nowadays- women are pressured to be Cool Girls who chase after men and endlessly forgive and 'understand' absolute shit behavior, or else they're just "feminazis" or prudes that are shamed for being high-maintenance and demanding. The Crazy Cat Lady is a pervasive negative stereotype, the modern equivalent of the spinster, that girls grow u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 05:55 AM
6

Yup. He was lauded for being stunning and brave enough to admit to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 04:47 AM
7

Bingo. I've been in several abusive relationships in the past and this is spot on. Your mind gets so warped from the abuse that your mindset ends up like "He called me a stupid whore but he hasn't hit me in a week, so we must be doing better!" You want things to be fine so badly that your brain twists things around to be less bad than they are just so you can experience a bit of happiness and calm. Without an intervention like therapy(which takes the realization that something is wrong to begin …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 04:44 AM
24

Oh, this topic hits close to home. I work in tech and have been in the phone hacking community for well over a decade, I can fully attest to the toxicity of nerds. There is a distinct overlap in the tech community and the incel/MGTOW community. Many IT guys are monstrously fat, smelly, ungroomed, and obnoxious with desks covered in borderline-inappropriate weeb shit. Hygiene is such an issue, I work from home now but when I still had to go in I used to burn candles at my desk and hold my breath …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 06:11 PM
3

I don't know much about how it really works cause I'm white as hell, but I sometimes catch myself thinking that arranged marriages make more sense than marrying for love. Your mind isn't clouded by lust, you can get to know him without sex getting in the way, he's being judged by outside influences the whole time, and he earns your love over time. Correct me if I'm wrong but he actually has to HAVE something to offer too- earning power, good morals, ability to take care of you + children, etc- o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:56 PM
7

when he started dating he knew he wanted his next girlfriend to be younger. He said he purposely doesn't want to date women his own age because they've already been divorced or they already have children and he doesn't want to raise another man's kid. Has he mentioned "the wall" yet? Guarantee that's next. we dated on and off for 2 years. Should have stayed off. It's not too late though! He then mentioned our age gap and said I should listen to him because he's already been through his twenties.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:10 AM
2

Ah OK, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:28 PM
9

It's just basic consideration. I wouldn't expect rapid fire texting all day long, but if you're leaving me on read or taking forever to respond when I know you're awake, I can only assume you're not that happy to talk to me. Not what I want in a relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:49 PM
11

I reserve the sorcery for fuckboys lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:36 PM
5

I couldn't find the post but I don't even need to read the comments to know what they said. It really pisses me off how young women are gaslighted by both these shit males and society as a whole into suppressing their natural instincts and accepting infidelity. I'm a bit older than the normal reddit demographic and I remember when nobody would have told this girl that she's overreacting, but nowadays you have to be cool about everything. Stop being so controlling, be happy for your BF that he ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:33 PM
6

Yup. I had an ex call me a whore and punch me in the face for going out with someone else 3 weeks after we broke up. Literally told me "You got over me too fast!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 11:56 AM
6

What's dread protocol? Never heard that before and when I google it all I get is songs and articles about dreadlocks lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 11:50 AM
37

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND HOLY RUN FROM A GUY WHO IS NOT OVER HIS EX. He will compare you two constantly and she will win every time. Shout this shit from a mountaintop sister. Best practice is to just stay away from guys who even still talk to their ex. Unless they have kids together there's no reason to stay in touch, and even then be careful. Be mindful of who broke up with who, and if their communications are about anything but the kid, get out. Friendships with exes are never just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:38 AM
3

I needed this. I have anxiety & PTSD from a past abusive relationship and I often can't tell if my gut feelings are grounded in real warning signs or just fear. It helps to have a baseline to go off of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:33 AM
2

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:21 PM
6

“I can’t believe you’re mad at me for being NICE!” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:21 PM
10

My ex said the exact same shit. Tried to play it off like he was just trying to spread happiness and give a self-esteem boost to all those poor insecure models and porn stars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:37 PM
2

I've been saying all of this for years now. Nice to have a bit of backup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 05:30 PM
5

Yup pretty much. I've been in abusive relationships full of gaslighting and manipulation and I get the same feeling reading a lot of the advice on the relationship subs that I used to get with my exes. Modern dating advice is nothing but emotional abuse on a grander scale. Insecurity is a crime, your partner has the right to do whatever they want and if you don't blindly trust them then you're the one with the issue, asking them to change anything at all is controlling, you are overreacting, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:34 AM
17

What I find funniest about Cool Girl syndrome is how guys think it's sooo hot when girls act like 'one of the guys' and drink beer, eat wings, watch sports, play video games, burp, fart, etc. Kinda sounds like you want a boyfriend, my dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:20 AM
9

The relationship advice subs are always getting posts about someone agreeing to a threesome and everything going to hell afterward. The only kinds of relationships that can survive a threesome are ones where they're just casually seeing each other or FWBs and not emotionally attached at all. No normal, healthy person who actually cares about their partner is okay with them sleeping with someone else and nothing will ever change my mind on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:17 AM
5

I volunteer as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:22 AM
22

This is a very important point that I think a lot of people overlook. You love your partner, but do you LIKE them? Are they someone you'd want to talk to and hang out with if there was no sex involved?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 11:13 AM
14

Oh god, brace yourselves for this one. My ex from a few years ago was an autogynephiliac and instead of leaving like I should have when I found out he was joining sissy/kink/trans porn groups on FB and discussing his numerous fetishes in graphic detail with other people both online and IRL, I agreed to "work on my insecurities" and try to get over my transphobia so he could 'live his truth'. THEN I LET HIM MOVE IN WITH ME. Dude wasn't even good-looking, he was basically Shrek but less intelligen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 10:45 AM
3

Reminds me of a quote I read once- "The only people who get mad when you set boundaries are the ones who benefit when you have none"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 06:00 AM
1

It's not necessarily a bad thing. As long as it's just a pastime that doesn't cut into our time together then I don't really care. Some games I'll even play with him. But if he's constantly gaming every free moment or if he follows twitch girls then it becomes a dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 05:49 AM
2

Oh shit, if I ever get off my ass and actually learn to build apps I will TOTALLY make that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:13 PM
11

My watch recorded a spike in my heart rate as I was reading that thread. I fucking hate everything and I am so angry right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 01:51 PM
32

I can't even remember how many throwaways I created to ask for advice about my ex a few years ago. I was so desperate to be told I WAS overreacting. Narrator: But she wasn't overreacting...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:24 PM
37

Yup exactly. They're always so shocked when they get dumped too, "I never saw this coming, what did I do?!" I told you 367 times what you did wrong broseph.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:22 PM
7

Y'all are the best <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:21 PM
2

He's SENTIMENTAL AND NOSTALGIC. I'm screaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:37 PM
14

Sadly I felt a LOT of guilt for a long time after I left. I felt like I was abandoning someone who needed me, he had no one else, I hadn't done enough to help him(I did), he would probably die without me, etc. And he did actually die. 5 years ago he ODed in a hotel room in Vegas and I actually cried. We'd been split up for 4 years at that point but I was such an empath that I felt like I'd been tasked to save his life and I'd failed. But now, after I went through therapy and woke the hell up- I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:32 PM
7

Continue to block and ignore. Any response at all, even a "fuck off" will be taken as interest and encouragement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:17 PM
7

Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:13 PM
33

Exactly! I always give those girls the advice I wish I could go back and give myself at their age. None of the guys I was hung up on back then were worth the grief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:12 PM
20

This happened to me a long time ago. I had my wisdom teeth out and I was given Tylox, which I took as directed. I had just started a new job right before the surgery and a few days later during training, my jaw started hurting a bit too much for me to concentrate(I ended up with a dry socket which was awful). I popped a Tylox on break but I didn't really feel any better an hour later. I took another a little while later, same thing. I suffered through the rest of day and when I got back home, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:09 PM
155

Cause most of the people that give advice on reddit are teens and college kids with no real life or relationship experience. They just assume that the woman has just never bothered to voice her feelings about a problem, partly because they still believe that everyone is truly good and kind at their core and people only ever accidentally act like assholes, and partly because of the popular media trope of the silent, stewing woman glaring at a man who has no idea what he did wrong. In reality, we …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 12:22 PM
4

"Never underestimate a man’s ability to make you feel crazy to cover up the shit he’s done"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:56 PM
6

Seriously, it takes 10 to send a text. I don't expect everyone to be glued to their phones 24/7 but I just can't imagine loving someone and not being excited to get a text from them, and happy to reply. If I find myself being frequently left on read, always texting first, or waiting a long time for replies when I know he's not at work or asleep, my interest takes a sharp nosedive. I won't waste much time on someone I'm always having to make excuses for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:19 PM
11

Oh man do I have personal experience with these. doesn't let you know about his daily schedule. You don't know when he's leaving work. You don't know his usual daily activities - what does he normally do after work, when he's not with you? If you don't know his routine then it's harder for you to tell when something is off. You can't tell that he's disappearing for hours every day after work if he won't tell you his schedule. "Not much" in response to you asking what he's doing allows him to ans…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:08 PM
16

Yup. We animals developed these instincts for a reason, stop thinking your heart knows better than millions of years of evolution!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:26 AM
100

This behavior was one of the major reasons I dumped one of my exes. His main use for social media was to find new fap material, he followed hundreds of porn stars and "models" on IG and FB, all kinds of "kink" pages, and over 3,000 porn accounts on tumblr. Side note, I've never cackled so hard as I did when tumblr banned porn lol. Every electronic background was a bikini/anime girl, and he go through random women's profiles and save their pictures(even normal pics of just their faces) which was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:08 PM
10

Good lord I am so sick to death of “sex positivity”. I’m also sick of “phobic” being tacked on as a way to demonize anyone who doesn’t support or go along with absolutely everything. I’m not “phobic” of anything except spiders and deep water, and simply acknowledging that certain things are inherently unhealthy and harmful and to want no part of them nor encourage others to take part in them does not make me a bigot in need of re-education. I used to honestly think there was something wrong with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:01 PM
2

Ohhh I needed that sub in my life, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 04:19 PM
3

Almost always comes from guys who are always checking their phone or on facebook when you're with them too -___-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 01:12 PM
1

Not at all. Some of the worst men I've ever met were intellectuals. They were always lacking in empathy and basic human compassion, most of them were narcissistic and emotionally abusive, and they all seemed to believe their careers or degrees gave them a pass to look smugly down on everyone else. No thank you. The older I get, the more I appreciate the Forrest Gumps of the world. Give me a dumb sweetheart who just wants to see me smile over an intelligent asshole who always has to be right any …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 12:03 PM
3

I can smell this picture. Weed, stale beer, moldy towels, dirty dishes, and ballsack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:44 AM
4

Same. I decorate to express myself and make my home reflect my personality. I want to feel happy and comfortable when I'm in it. I just feel a bleak sense of DGAF when I look at that picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:38 AM
12

I love Stevie Nicks so much. She is the eternal Supreme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:20 AM
3

Yup, even if they own the home they can still be pigs. I went on a couple of dates with a guy about 10 years ago and met him at his house for the second date. He warned me that it might be a bit messy which I didn't mind, but I was unprepared for the sights and smells that would greet me when I stepped inside. It was the most disgusting hovel I've ever seen. Overflowing trash cans, cigarette butts everywhere, laundry on the floor, cat piss smell, grease running down the kitchen walls, stained ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:22 AM
5

My limit on proposals about 3 years personally. I wouldn't stick around being just a girlfriend for any longer than that, but I'm not in a rush to bind myself legally to any man that I don't feel like I know completely either and I don't think a year is enough time to really get to know someone. Maybe I've been burned too many times, but I've had a lot of exes show their true fuckboy colors around the 1-1.5 year mark and I thank my lucky stars every day that I didn't marry them. I've been throug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 09:42 AM
7

Stop being so fucking forgiving, people know exactly what the fuck they're doing. If he does it once, he'll do it again even if he's sorry. Nothing is a "mistake", everyone chooses their own actions. I used to be the biggest doormat, as soon as that magic S-word was uttered I forgave them and stayed no matter what terrible thing they did. Younger me had an endless well of benefit-of-the-doubt which resulted in an endless string of loser boyfriends who wasted my youth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 05:36 PM
12

Stop questioning your feelings. That nagging sadness you feel every time you’ve seen him means something Ooh this is good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 05:27 PM
14

Yup. Every military guy I've ever dated was abusive and horrible. One had photo albums of the people he killed in Desert Storm. Fucking photo albums, he actually took pictures of burnt, bloody bodies and had the film developed. Another forced me to do sexual things I wasn't comfortable with and I later found out he'd been married the whole time we dated. The last one reminisced fondly on all his kills in Afghanistan, brought out his gun & knife collection all the time, and worked briefly as an L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 04:47 PM
16

Good point! Always verify.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 04:00 PM
52

Say it louder for the back, sis. Lord, I used to be the biggest stan for platonic friendships when I was young and naive. I was OnE oF tHe GuYs and I thought my male friends sincerely just liked me because I was into cars and computers but almost every one of them eventually hit on me or tried to hook up with me. I don't pursue close friendships with straight men anymore, and I won't date men that have close friendships with straight women. I have one remaining friendship with a straight man, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 03:29 PM
28

This is why I always assume that when a man breaks up with me, he's already got someone else lined up and I've yet to be proven wrong. This is also why I don't do breaks. "I think we should take a break" always equals "I met someone whom I'd like to fuck and this way it's technically not cheating". maybe he found something in her that I didn’t have and that’s okay. He did- new vag. That's literally it. That's how most men think and why they cheat/leave you for other women. Disgusting lizard-brai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 04:55 PM
24

I have one fuckboy from 2012 who still tries to DM me. Casually dated for about 4 months until I realized that the only time he ever wanted to see me was when he was horny, hungry, or needed a ride. Even though I left and never showed him anything but derision afterward, I still get a "Hey" once a year or so. Haven't blocked him cause it amuses me to leave him on read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 04:12 PM
6

Hookup culture has ruined dating. Guys today expecting wife behavior from girls they won't even introduce to their friends and EVEN WORSE- girls are giving it to them and feeling guilty for expecting anything in return. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 01:28 PM
12

Even a drop of poison ruins a whole glass of water... same with relationships. I'm adding this to my list of great quotes! I still look at the relationship subs sometimes and it's so depressing. I have to remind myself that the majority of people on reddit, especially the ones who push to salvage obviously horrible relationships, are very young and haven't had the life experience to know any better yet and have the added baggage of growing up in a society that teaches them to put themselves last…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 12:21 AM
6

I think you nailed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 12:16 AM
8

YES. The sex-positive movement has dealt such a blow to us. Even women who don't subscribe to it are still held to it's standards. There is nothing "empowering" about letting men who give zero shits about you rent out your vagina.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 12:00 AM
12

Yup. I've been called negative and judgemental by a lot of people, criticized for not forgiving, but how many of those oh so forgiving people would still eat a sandwich if a bird pooped on it? What's that, you reject the whole thing because of one tiny bit of shit? Apply that standard to men, and even friends. Don't accept ANY shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:58 PM
3

She is. They both were, neither one took shit from anyone. Role models!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:54 PM
17

I have noticed this too. I hate that mannequin doll look that's so popular nowadays, I thought I was the only one that noticed that women are trying to look more & more like porn stars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:53 PM
9

Unfortunately it took ending up in a horrible relationship with an abusive, unfaithful, pornsick narcissist to kill off my excuse-making for shitty people. It was a gradual process that started a little before I met him, but that was the tipping point. I spent a year wondering why it didn't seem to bother him that his actions were hurting me and thinking if I could just explain my feelings better, he'd finally get why his behavior was wrong and start acting right. It finally hit home that unless…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:50 PM
81

Nice :D I'm glad divorce is more acceptable now too, that's the only reason so many women stayed in shit marriages in the past. I will never try to "make it work" ever again. If you have to MAKE a relationship work then you're wasting your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:34 PM
590

I know this is satire but I actually see so many posts like this on the relationship subs. Women are conditioned to tolerate outrageous bullshit from men nowadays, to ignore the glaring bad and look for the little bits of good to cling to because pObOdY's NeRfEcT. What the hell happened? Women wasting their time making posts to ask a bunch of strangers if they're overreacting for being bothered by some shit that my grandma would have pushed my grandpa down a flight of stairs for. Women have gott…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:09 PM
25

Count me in. I have screenshots that can ruin lives and I'm itching to use them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:41 AM
13

I have pretty similar features and all through my tweens & teens, I hated my face. I wanted a button nose, full lips, and a rounder face more than anything and planned to get a lot of plastic surgery when I grew up. Never could afford it though, and now I'm pushing 40 and so glad I never butchered my face. Many people throughout my life have told me I look like a witch and I take it as a compliment now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:38 AM
38

It's fucking disgraceful how often I used to tell myself these lies. I owe myself the biggest apology for what I've put up with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:22 AM
8

Absolutely true. It bothers me how so many young women nowadays cheerlead so hard for platonic friendships and get angry at the suggestion that their guy friends' intentions might not be pure. Sis, unless he's gay, he wants to bang you and is only hanging around to find out if you'll let him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 01:29 PM
12

I'm from Japan and we have a saying that as long as there is night and drinks, women and men can't be friends. Ohh I like this. Straight adult men who pursue emotional intimacy with women other than their wives or girlfriends are not trustworthy and you will never convince me otherwise. I have never had a single good experience dating a guy with close female friends. They all ended up either cheating on me with them or trying to, or dating them immediately after we broke up. At best, one of them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 01:20 PM
10

I'd call Onision a pig, but that'd be an insult to pigs. I'm sorry but I have never encountered a single poly couple in real life or online where both parties were mentally sound and who both fully and knowledgably consented to that lifestyle. One(usually the man) is always a predatory sex addict or a cheater, and the other is just going along with it because they're terrified of being alone, or else they've been manipulated into it through emotional or even physical abuse. I've seen so many pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:27 PM
37

Truth. Almost every male friend I've ever had has tried to put the moves on me at some point. I used to think that time was the true test of a man's intentions, if he didn't hit on you early on then that meant he was cool and a real friend but nope! Some guys are just very patient. I had one friendship with a guy last 7 whole years before he tried to get with me, and then got butthurt when I turned him down. He thought that me laughing at his jokes meant I was interested. A male friend even rape…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:05 AM
10

I've only been here for a few weeks but I can honestly say this sub has been better therapy than the actual therapy I went through. For years I lowered my standards into the ground to be more accommodating to fuckboys. I fell for the modern dating BS that says women are "too demanding" for not tolerating lies, cheating, mooching, low effort, and all the other Cool Girl shit we're supposed to accept with a smile because EqUaLiTy. This place is so validating and truly a breath of fresh air. I'm no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 10:16 AM
21

It's been many moons since I've done OLD, but my pet peeves were... Social media handles in bio. Who the hell wants to date a guy with a friend list full of girls from dating sites? These are the douchebags that open conversations with "Hey cutie, pics? ;)" "Fluent in sarcasm" Any trace of Insane Clown Posse, weeb shit, My Little Pony, or Joker/Harley Quinn sChOoL oF hArD kNoCkS hurr durr Any mention of kinks, BDSM, porn, or their sexual prowess "I'm brutally honest" Translation- "I'll be a comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 11:19 AM
7

My running theory is that "sex positivity" is a long con by men to manipulate women into believing that it’s empowering and somehow benefits us to be used for sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 03:42 AM
1

It's so awful to watch a good person go through this, but the sad truth is she won't come around to realizing her worth until she's ready to. I didn't realize mine till I got chewed up and spit out by enough LVMs who I treated FAR better than they ever deserved to get outright angry about it. She's in the sad phase now, hopefully she'll hit the fed up and pissed off phase soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:20 AM
7

This depresses and infuriates me so much because I used to be that girl. Moping around after every breakup, stalking their profiles and getting all sad when I'd see how much better they treat their new girlfriends victims than they treated me, blaming myself for not being good enough for them. He's not being sweet to her cause she's better than you, he's just trying to trick her into thinking he's worth a shit. Men don't change for the right woman, they just hop from girlfriend to girlfriend unt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:33 AM
8

I'm usually just a lurking newbie here but I've been in her shoes in the past and this pisses me off so much. He's otherwise a committed boyfriend... yeah, aside from the fact that nobody knows you're his girlfriend. I hate men like this so much. If your boyfriend ever refers to you as anything other than his girlfriend, make an honest man out of him and render him single. It doesn't mean he's "private" or just doesn't talk to these people enough for it to matter. It means he's not serious about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 03:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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