If there's any old school dating rule that served me well, then it's the following: if he acts like he's hiding something, he probably is. At worst, he has a whole girlfriend/wife at home, at best, he likes having his options open while you entertain his ass.

I was involved a while with a guy who was the latter. Here's what I learned from that shitshow.

My list of red flags:

  • doesn't let you know about his daily schedule. You don't know when he's leaving work. You don't know his usual daily activities - what does he normally do after work, when he's not with you?

  • never mentions his friends by their names. You cannot identify/pin down any people in his life.

  • tells you about stuff he does/he went to only after they happened. The guy I was talking to never wanted to tell me if he was, say, going to a concert. Only after the event has passed he would mention he was there.

  • has so social media, no online presence

  • is sketchy about his phone (always takes calls outside the room, put the phone screen facing the table, never lets you watch anything on his phone. I would always show him memes or funny videos on my phone. He would never even let me take a quick glance on the screen of his)

  • never invites you to his place

  • doesn't want to attend popular events with you. Avoids being seen in public places with you. We would always meet up at obscure cafes.

  • makes a big deal out of the stuff above. Some people are more private than others, but if he purposely keeps an "I'm an enigma" act around you, issa red flag sis.

Feel free to discuss, agree, disagree, share your tips/experiences.