Men using LinkedIn to pick up

Thestral-glow6 · 2020-10-16T14:06:56+00:00

This is very inappropriate behaviour, but unfortunately yes men are using it to try and get dates.

2020-10-16T14:09:58+00:00

Happened once with a colleague (who has to be at least 10 years older than me). I took my time to answer and gave very short answers until he got the hint. Didn't want to block him or take any measures since I was new at my job and he thankfully hadn't been rude, just... too interested in a 25-yo woman.

lhatw · 2020-10-16T14:50:55+00:00

Lol this happens all the time. They’ll try to make anything a dating site 😐

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-10-16T14:52:09+00:00

Girl I had to delete my linkedin because my ex was stalking me on it for the last month. Be careful.

squaremarshmallow · 2020-10-16T14:18:41+00:00

Some guy from my church that I didn't know added me on LinkedIn and started bothering me. I didn't recognize him at all and I told him off on LinkedIn. He then approached me in church. He wouldn't take no for an answer and it took our Pastor to get him to leave me alone. Quality men don't go asking for dates on LinkedIn.

hdost34 · 2020-10-16T15:46:20+00:00

Yes, I get lots of married men looking for affairs on LinkedIn. Pathetic.

emtoots · 2020-10-16T16:46:54+00:00

Maybe they’re trying to take advantage of the assumption that women will be more polite and agreeable when they’re career is involved? Definitely seems manipulative to me but knowing how these LVM think I’m in no way surprised.

MySonderStory · 2020-10-16T14:50:40+00:00

I have received similar messages. I think men think that the usual dating apps like tinder and bumble are saturated and since they're not getting the dates that they want, those men are moving towards Linkedin thinking it will give them a better chance at scoring a date. Plus men always say there are a lot of fake bots in dating apps, but Linkedin is pretty vetted in terms of people posting real life information about themselves. I think men that use Linkedin to find a date are extremely unprofessional and very entitled if they can't respect other women's basic boundaries as professional courtesy. If a woman wants a date, they'll go use a dating app, not Linkedin.

Annia_Cornificia · 2020-10-16T17:09:36+00:00

It hasn't happened to me on LinkedIn (because I barely use it), but I'm a writer on a few platforms and I've gotten thirst emails from men who at first, purport to be emailing about appreciating an article, but then it devolves into telling me what a "babe" I am. Barf.

I even had a blog stalker for awhile who sent me like ten unanswered messages (and he still keeps sending them). These are retirement aged men and I'm in my twenties. Men are fucking crazy.

nymphaetamine · 2020-10-16T17:04:42+00:00

Yup, basically any site or app with a messaging system is treated as a dating site nowadays 🙄

sahu_ · 2020-10-16T16:17:50+00:00

Yes this happens. They ask to be friends.. initially you think it's a weird way of being asked to network..but it turns out they're hitting on you..

2020-10-16T18:14:51+00:00

Yes. I've had this happen to me recently and I saw a very popular post with 100k likes on LinkedIn circling around that was written by a woman asking men to stop using the website as a dating app

miwamus · 2020-10-16T15:56:03+00:00

Yup.

vitryolic · 2020-10-16T17:53:18+00:00

This how sexual harassment progresses from the workplace into networking. These type of predators would get caught by HR and employment laws in companies, so move to a platform where they will be unregulated.

This is going the way of the #MeToo movement, propositioning women to “help their career”. If this happened to me and there was no fear of retaliation, I would contact the persons employer to say what they were doing under the guise of their business.

_mooness · 2020-10-16T14:11:29+00:00

Yes, it’s only been Indian men for me.

veruscka · 2020-10-16T16:50:15+00:00

Ugh this is why I had to delete my ex from LinkedIn (as well as everywhere else).

Statessideredditor · 2020-10-16T16:50:40+00:00

Yes, I have experienced males wanting to be connected for no good reason.

rokhana · 2020-10-16T19:02:12+00:00

I've had a NV ex and a classmate from university that I hadn't talked to in 8 and 5 years respectively message me on linkedin just to hit on me. They didn't even try to pretend it was career-related, they straight up acted like they came across my profile on tinder. It's pathetic.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-10-16T21:51:48+00:00

LinkedIn, language exchange sites, the Slack for my university course. I'm nowhere near special in the looks department, wear glasses and no make-up in all my photos and I have a haircut that's supposed to turn off the vast majority of straight men. It's not about looks, it's a number's game. If you're female, they're shooting their shot. They got nothing to lose, they're safe behind their screens.

I can't even block people on Slack, so my solution there was removing my picture and shortening my first name to the initial so it would be gender-neutral. Did the same on language exchange sites. That put a complete stop to men contacting me out the blue.

Advice for LinkedIn: never form random connections with men you don't know. Have you spoken before, or anyway started building some kind of professional rapport outside of LinkedIn? Then by all means go ahead. Otherwise, spare yourself the trouble.

suncolor · 2020-10-16T17:58:00+00:00

Ugh. I’m so weary of my information being online but LinkedIn is one of those platforms you should have as a professional. I never update mine because I’m paranoid af. I also see people posting their current workplace and things like that... it’s so crazy to me! But simultaneously I’ll likely have to bite the bullet to help network / find a job when I graduate. 💀

sympathyshot · 2020-10-16T19:24:55+00:00

Yes, I am experiencing the same thing. I used to accept the majority of requests as a college student because prior to these experiences, random recruiters would message me to add me to their recruiting pools.

Now, I do not to accept linkedin request from any man that I personally don't know. It's a shame that a couple bad apples ruined my willingness to interact with an entire gender, but I would rather not take the chance of being harassed.

I've also been stalked on LinkedIn. I wish LinkedIn would take this problem seriously and implement the steps Cindy Gallop has outlined <https://www.bandt.com.au/linkedin-must-step-up-on-issue-of-harassment-of-women-on-platform-says-cindy-gallop/>

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-10-16T21:29:32+00:00

Find out who his coworkers are through the website and send the screenshots to them.

2020-10-17T02:38:09+00:00

Unfortunately yes. I foolishly thought that linkedin would keep me immune from stupid scrotes hitting me up since it's supposed to be this professionally-centered social media site but noooooo. I've had random men who work within my company (but at a completely different site in another state) initiate messaging for the sake of "getting to know other people in the company better" and other contrived nonsense. They always devolved into personal questions, so I had to block and now don't even bother responding to their initial messages. One guy, who doesn't work for my company but is employed in the same building hit me up saying, "hey I've seen you around. You seem shy, but feel free to say hi, I don't bite :) " Instantly got flashbacks to my short-lived OLD days. Ugh.

As a result, I've changed most of my settings to private and changed my profile picture back to the default blank avatar. Sometime next year, when I plan to relocate, I'll make it public again and start making connections while job searching. It sucks, because the whole point is to act professional and approachable and they take advantage of that.

mscristalconnors · 2020-10-16T21:12:41+00:00

It’s happened twice to me..

sushiwalrus · 2020-10-16T23:07:16+00:00

Lmao yes. These pathetic losers will use any opportunity to try to pick up women it doesn’t matter what platform it is.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-10-17T07:47:16+00:00

Yes, I've experienced this sort of thing also

JesusisKingisLord · 2020-10-17T13:34:14+00:00

I've experienced this, too. I work in a building that houses several companies. I met a man at the drinking fountain who asked me to connect on LinkedIn. Creeeeeep!!!

DallasM19 · 2020-10-18T00:03:56+00:00

Yeah I've personally experienced this. One even did it under the guise of an interview. I wrote an email to corporate. Never heard back so they probably don't care...shocker 😐.

DasNatta · 2020-10-18T08:48:58+00:00

Yes! Happened to me for the first time this year! I've received the usual recruiter messages before so when this guy sent me a message I didn't hesitate to open it - regretted it immediately. We had no connections and don't work in the same industry at all and his message was very creepy and not professional at all. Why are men.

jayohday · 2020-10-17T15:20:55+00:00

This is why I don’t add anyone I don’t know. So many fucking random dudes trying to add me all the time.

Title	Men using LinkedIn to pick up
Author	pao664
Upvotes	135
Comments	39
Date	October 16, 2020 1:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jc9yza/men_using_linkedin_to_pick_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-using-linkedin-to-pick-up.318245 https://theredarchive.com/post/318245

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