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pancakeCEO Archive

View 29 posts and 175 comments by pancakeCEO on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1422

REMINDER 👑pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 11:43 PM
387

FDS HUMORpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:24 PM
272

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:06 AM
197

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 09:52 AM
169

pancakeCEO/r/askFDS08/10/21 07:20 PM
157

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 07:16 AM
130

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:31 PM
111

pancakeCEO/r/askFDS08/01/21 12:14 AM
97

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:43 AM
88

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 07:56 AM
85

SCROTES MADpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:55 AM
76

SEEKING ADVICEpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:25 PM
74

MALE DEPRAVITYpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:21 AM
70

DISCUSSIONpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:14 AM
65

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:13 AM
47

STRATEGYpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:55 PM
44

pancakeCEO/r/askFDS07/08/21 06:24 PM
32

DATING ADVICEpancakeCEO/r/RedPillWomen30/08/18 10:42 AM
30

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:53 PM
30

DISCUSSIONpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:05 AM
27

pancakeCEO/r/askFDS07/12/20 08:25 PM
25

DISCUSSIONpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:45 AM
15

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 03:10 AM
12

DISCUSSIONpancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:38 AM
1

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:36 AM
1

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:02 AM
1

DATING ADVICEpancakeCEO/r/RedPillWomen30/08/18 10:31 AM
1

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:58 AM
1

pancakeCEO/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:47 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
89

my mom does this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 04:59 PM
8

What are your greatest realistic fears? What's the worst thing you've ever done? What are you most ashamed about? What are you most insecure about? Who do you wish you could make amends with? etc. lol.
/r/askFDS20/11/21 08:12 PM
1

Good point. Let's both edit our comments...
/r/askFDS10/10/21 01:45 PM
2

🥲🤬
/r/askFDS09/10/21 11:36 PM
6

Yeah, that's the conclusion I'm coming to here. That's really fucking annoying. I'm out here trying to treat each and every individual like a whole person regardless of sex and lo and fucking behold I'm just walking TNA.
/r/askFDS09/10/21 11:34 PM
7

But I do hang out with men. And so when they say hang out, I assume it's completely platonic. For me, a proper date is something along the lines of dinner at a nice restaurant. But sometimes they try to package a date into the hangout and I feel like I walked into a fckn trap since nothing about the context said "date" to me. Scrimmaging and getting counter serve is not a date, dude. And the flip side is that sometimes they'll take me to a nice fucking place, pay for everything, but apparently i…
/r/askFDS09/10/21 11:27 PM
86

Not a red flag IMO. If I just met the guy, I would strongly prefer that he doesn't walk me to my car. I don't care how well the date went. He's a stranger. I don't want to feel cornered. I'll ask if I need a chaperone.
/r/askFDS09/10/21 07:17 PM
15

ok but wtf is the point of reserving a table in an upscale candlelit restaurant and calling it a hangout like beeeeech u think i'm playing footsie wif my gfs under that white tablecloth idk
/r/askFDS09/10/21 12:20 AM
61

I'm gonna post this on main to get more feedback. Edit: Wow. When did y'all go private.
/r/askFDS08/10/21 07:31 PM
53

Loooooool I gave a fat guy a chance and an ugly guy a chance 🤡. I thought it was good for my character development. They got comfortable really quick, like, babe, you forgot that you're 9 circles of hell deep below my league. I only date guys I'm 100% attracted to now, and to the lurking incels, guess what, they look exactly like what you've been whining about: young, fit, conventionally attractive, 6'3"+, dark hair 😂. If that's what I can get, that's what I'm sticking with. It's not noble or hu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:36 PM
51

I would tell him that you'd prefer some place closer. I don't feel safe getting into a car someone I don't know sent. This is probably an edge case, but I read about a man who "sent an Uber" for a woman and he showed up as the driver. He thought it was cute or funny or something. You could also have the guy Venmo you transportation cash but that can be a little outré depending on your culture. Two guys have done this for me but I didn't have to ask them. I wouldn't ask, personally.
/r/askFDS18/09/21 05:21 PM
5

that's... idk. just so out of my grasp rn. it's okay to have a preference. and it might even be okay to express that your desire has diminished (if done tactfully). the completely shaved mons pubis preference is something I've only heard about once in some documentary about teen sexual education; basically, the teacher found out that most of the boys were grossed out by pubic hair on girls because they had been jacking it for so long to hairless women in porn. anyway. I've just never been with a…
/r/askFDS16/09/21 05:49 AM
63

is this fr? no guy has ever commented on my pubic hair or made any mention of their pubic hair preferences. edit: sounds like LVM behavior to only be okay w completely bald pussy. that's so fckn weird lol
/r/askFDS15/09/21 08:19 PM
1

100% not a troll. Thanks for the article but lol at the translation.
/r/askFDS09/08/21 02:00 AM
1

Penises like you describe are quite rare Dammit. The one that got away fr.
/r/askFDS09/08/21 01:57 AM
14

Came here to say this. I don't think dating people with mood disorders is in itself an issue (regarding other psychiatric disorders... I think that's a dicey topic). The way they manage their disorder is what matters. The guy you posted about is either very mentally unwell or has an annoying and off-putting personality. It takes a huge lack of self-awareness to post like that on Twitter. From this specific guy, I would stay far, far away. But there's plenty of high functioning people with mood d…
/r/askFDS26/07/21 04:15 PM
47

Yo... i'm a huuuge fds stan lmao. i even got banned off of some other subreddits for posting here... and I've posted a lot. I've been here since my pickme days. I've read all the stickied shit up and down. So keep that in mind when I say: this sounds like a huge COPE. It's way more likely that apathy settled in or he just started questioning whether he really wanted to go through all the effort of dating again. The perception of leagues seems to differ widely between men and women (except in the…
/r/askFDS24/07/21 10:50 PM
22

LOOOOOOOOL
/r/askFDS06/07/21 03:26 AM
21

I have a "reverse" version of this. Must be insanely clean and have a gigantic dick. Lol. I literally had no concept of what I was missing out on until I met this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:18 PM
2

Wait, what--I've found it to be the exact opposite here regarding fatness. In fact, the FDS handbook specifically deemphasizes physical appearance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:00 PM
21

LOL I have never and will never find dad bods attractive. Also, I don't think it's a conspiracy—it's just plain economics. As people, particularly in the West, become larger, companies pander to that. That's why you see this dad bod stuff as well as magazine covers declaring that obese women are strong and healthy. It's why we get shit like Doveification so that we can be swayed into buying from the company that deems us attractive enough to tokenize. Fatness is a whole other topic that I think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:38 AM
6

It's interesting to see a revival of second wave-esque radfem manifest as FDS. For many of us, myself included, I had grown up in the era of choice feminism and didn't see outside of it. It's so encouraging to see how many of you are radfems and may not even know it. So many of the values espoused by FDS are rooted in radical ideas. I love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:28 AM
10

"There is no trying to get to know me." Based
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:56 PM
12

I think I lost my virginity at 20 or 21 with my bf at the time. Maybe if I were to do it again, I'd want the circumstances to be different but I don't regret it. Tbh, I don't really remember all of the details of it. Maybe because it happened "later" in life, it was less of a big deal. I don't think your weight has to do with your virginity. However, it might be the case that the men you're attracted to aren't attracted to you. Personally, I wouldn't wait until marriage because I think you need …
/r/askFDS20/12/20 12:52 AM
9

Men are depraved. Sorry, this isn't an answer to your question, but I was wearing a mask, a huge sweater, leggings, old gym shoes, and a hat. All you could see were my eyes and hands and two men totally leered at me and called me "beautiful", "gorgeous"......... What? I totally didn't expect to be harassed while wearing a COVID niqab. The worst is when they catcall you while you're wearing a knee-length parka. Like, what are you even looking at? My male friend with long hair was catcalled by a g…
/r/askFDS16/12/20 04:52 PM
2

Mine was set to +5 and I wouldn't recommend it. College is 4 years long. They've had 4+ more years of conning women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:28 AM
4

Damn. This is sad but I'm part of the generation that has had 4chan at our fingertips so this gibberish makes complete sense to me. Anyway, men talking about the wall is a fucking cope lol. You should check out how angsty they are over hair loss, manletism, being KHHVs, and so on. They foam at the mouth over tretinoin to fix all the damage they've done to themselves over 2-3 decades of never taking care of their skin lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:25 AM
7

It's not that actually. What they're saying is they don't have to lie about their age because, by whatever sociocultural factors, we have created pickmes who will gladly welcome age gaps. What they're saying is that they can use these young women's "delusions" of maturity and their desire for father figures for male advantage. No lying involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:20 AM
2

I'm such a sucker for dog pics 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:59 AM
3

Photos with mom?! I think that's perfectly fine. For me, red flags are ANY selfies, especially mirror selfies. Get some friends, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:58 AM
17

Dude, I'm so over this. I downloaded The League thinking I'd see higher quality men. Okay, so most of the guys on there are pretty hot, solid education/jobs, fit, stylish, and whatnot. But it's the same trash on the inside. Creepy behavior, asking for sex, etc. You can dress up a trash bag but it's still trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:50 AM
11

100% my sex drive is out of control and has led me to all of the self-destructive shit I've done. After discovering FDS last year, I realized that part of self-love is not letting my sex drive overtake my decision-making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:33 AM
30

Yay! A guy I barely knew sent me sexual messages out of the blue and I wanted to say something mean but FDS has taught me better. Just block. They don't care and they don't need to be taught tricks for the next woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:30 AM
3

Yeah, I used to ask my friend this all the time and I had a feeling it was because she gives 0 fucks if a guy is here or there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:03 AM
5

Wow. She really did warn us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:00 AM
6

Just as a generalization, I think guys just like getting their buttons pushed bc everything is a competition to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:55 PM
10

Yeah, I had a guy outright tell me he loved that I didn't take his shit. Maybe he shouldn't have dealt it out in the first place 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:54 PM
6

V true--I didn't mean for it to come off like cracking the code, just that I happened to figure out what the recipe was while being self-centered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:53 PM
14

Isn't it funny that the minute you're over them, the text walls come flying in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:52 PM
6

Methinks this is false.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:50 PM
24

Fr 🤣. I have such disdain for them now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:27 PM
86

Don't worry about getting it. Just stop caring. I finally just started saying the rude shit that was on my mind and it drives them crazy. I would never talk to a woman like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:19 PM
4

I can definitely cook for myself but I'm not a kitchen whiz. Maybe I'll make it a project to learn a few family entrees.
/r/askFDS08/12/20 04:49 AM
7

Yeah, I meal prep but my food is so basic that it's fine for me but it's not, like, something I would feed others LOL.
/r/askFDS08/12/20 04:48 AM
5

Yooooo FYI never answer this question directly. They'll use it as a blueprint to your vagina. When I get asked this, I say vague shit. Or just say "not you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 10:51 PM
13

This is why I'm so cautious and uneasy about dating ANYONE. White guys fetishize me. Black guys fetishize me. Asian guys fetishize me. I have such a radar for this shit now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:47 AM
19

The most effective fuckboy repellent I've found so far is the FDS handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:28 AM
3

Agreed. My ex paid for my flights and would drive 6 hours round trip to see me. They want to; they will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:28 PM
520

Oh my god. I met an FDSer in the wild way way way before FDS was a thing and I thought she was nuts. Actually, I was the 🤡.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 06:33 AM
27

Omg. Angel. I'm gonna be watching out for my sisters like this next time I see some shit lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 06:32 AM
13

I say something along the lines of, "I want to be in an XYZ type of relationship, but only if I find someone worth it 😉." Re: your comment about going with the flow, I would personally avoid drifters. I want someone who knows what they want. Obviously, guys can lie about what they're looking for, so keep that in mind. Also, I completely disagree with the other poster. These guys have no idea if you're a HVW. I'm sure they've encountered women looking for hookups, sugar daddies, friends, dogsitte…
/r/askFDS03/12/20 11:28 AM
2

Ooh, I'm in a similar area, I think (population ~3 million). I will say... I don't find men very attractive at first. Mostly because I assume they're smelly cavemen in secret. Doesn't matter if they are objectively cute or not. It takes a while for me to feel "attracted". You might be the same way, which means you should take some time to get to know men who you can tell are good looking but you just don't "feel them" yet. And the attraction might grow depending on their behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:27 PM
2

Yeah. It's like some sort of law of nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:18 PM
6

Hey. I also used to have body dysmorphia. I'm not exactly sure how I snapped out of it but it started by not wearing makeup. I realized that all the HVW around me would wear little to no makeup, especially at school and still had plenty of gorgeous, smart, thoughtful men interested in them. I'm not saying it's all about male attention but this really showed me that grown adults dgaf as long you are healthy from the inside out and confident.
/r/askFDS02/12/20 08:17 PM
6

I wouldn't initiate. I want to see if he has the balls to do it. If you want him to kiss you, just be welcoming with your body language/eye contact.
/r/askFDS02/12/20 08:14 PM
3

I would stop tracking this data. I think you're expending way too much brain space on this. Even the shittiest guys I've dated would ALWAYS initiate. The bar is low. Don't reach out.
/r/askFDS02/12/20 08:13 PM
2

What I can't understand is why men think I would waste my time and energy (getting ready, driving, holding up a conversation) for... food? What? I can take myself out to eat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:23 PM
1

Why in the fuck would you ever go into a forest alone with a man you just met AHHHHHH OMG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:34 PM
8

I LOOOVE FDS. My self-worth has grown so much. I had no idea that men were so fucked haha. I'm good with being single for the rest of my life if I don't find The One, but it'll be great if I do. Great if I don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:32 PM
11

I'm in a weird boat. I go to school in a major city but I live in the sticks because most of my in-person classes were cancelled, so I just date when I'm around campus. And trust me, you really have to weed through a toooon of crap to find the bare minimum in men (not creepy, employed or in school, good looking, funny) but they're out there. Edit: It also helps that I'm in med school so I get to use that social network to meet decently established/smart guys. Warning though: just because a guy's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:29 PM
26

I didn't block him. I just ignored him. Weeks later he asks for a do over. I agree. I picked a place out of his way. He gets there. Asks me where I am. I tell him that I'm in the bathroom and that I'll be right out. I'm, of course, at home, laughing my fucking ass off. He starts calling and calling me 😂. I tell him not to fuck with me ever again. Normally, I would never waste energy on this but he had the audacity to drag a child into his alibi and he was very obviously lying, and I was just fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:38 AM
9

I used to be like this. I give no shits anymore. I'll lead on a goddamn crowd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:03 AM
3

Mantics!!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:24 AM
12

🤮 I don't want a man who's afraid of rejection/quietly takes whatever comes his way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:22 AM
5

There aren't many men involved in my hobby. But I also live in the sticks so :(... Dating apps for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:19 AM
1

I finally found a funny guy but I'm keeping myself walled tf off bc I know humor is my Achilles's heel and, like you said, he could turn out to be a major creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:57 AM
1

Seriously. I'm kind of baffled by these guys' bathrooms. What do they wash their face with? Why do they have so many soaps but no conditioner? Why is there a pizza box on the floor? Edit: oops responded to the wrong comment but point still stands
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:54 AM
46

I disagree with this. You should be letting guys try to impress you, and they will if they're interested. Dating around helps you vet and for those of us who get crushes, it helps put things into perspective because if one guy's not up to par, the next one is willing to do everything he wouldn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:43 PM
4

I just make eye contact and shake my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:43 PM
7

Yup. And not all of them have to be but they sure as hell make it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 12:24 AM
3

Dude. Dave Chappelle is the funniest man alive. Donald Glover's old stuff is very good. And I personally love some of the features on This Is Not Happening even though FDS shat on it recently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:00 AM
10

Unrelated to the main topic but Margaret Cho and Ali Wong are some of the unfunniest comedians I've ever seen. But to each their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 12:52 AM
4

Holy fuck. This is why I'm reluctant to be myself and joke around with men. I love roasting and getting roasted (although to be quite clear, the guy in the OP was NOT roasting--roasting should be playful, clever, and hit hard). Recently I poked fun at a guy on Hinge without thinking and immediately after that, I started worrying about what kind of violent nonsense he might send back to me. To my relief, he turned out to be hilarious and dished it right back. But seriously, for a moment, I was li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 09:14 AM
44

This seems scripted af esp with how he didn't miss a beat with spitting out his IG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:11 AM
14

I recently had this thought as well. I don't find straight men to be funny or particularly interesting. I'm more emotionally attracted to women. But physically attracted to men. But I'm also grossed out by most men--they're smelly and have hair in places I didn't know you could have hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:03 PM
2

That he was 6'5" when he was actually 6'4". Completely pointless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:03 AM
11

Yeah, I found FDS through a hate post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:40 AM
12

Ooooooof. Fr tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 05:13 PM
21

Grand Pantheon of Suitably Fuckable Women Oof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 11:10 PM
21

Because it makes it easier to control women if they shame us for not being more pliable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:31 PM
12

There's a culture shift that's coming/is here. I don't know if FDS helped create it or is an outgrowth of it, but we're waking up. Men are going to have to start trying a lot harder again once more of us women refuse to participate in the current nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:29 PM
10

"Snuggle"? Ewww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 10:15 PM
1

Right? A Chad would be someone like Zack Morris from Saved By the Bell. Like, really friendly-looking, charming, disarming.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/20 04:23 PM
2

I know what you mean. My standards/self-esteem were so screwed up that I thought it was sooo sweet that my date paid for tickets and some food and drinks lol. I had just been so conditioned to think that men were supposed to treat women as sex objects that I was over the moon whenever any guy acted remotely like a gentleman. So glad I snapped out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:26 AM
22

🤮 This happened to me and the hypocrisy was gross af. HE was the one who made it clear it was not exclusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 02:39 AM
3

Omfg. I am also a med student and you all would be appalled by the level of mansplaining that goes on. I don't think I had really experienced it before and I was like, why do these guys keep talking so loudly and over me to explain concepts that I've already mastered and reassuring me that I'll get it soon enough??? And then it clicked that this must be what mansplaining is. It's physically nauseating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:55 AM
7

If he comes back, I'm running.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:53 AM
75

Holy shit. I had my "awakening" at 26 too. I was super, super, almost pitifully naive right up until then. I thought people were generally very pure and that almost everyone was very genuine. LOL!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:51 AM
70

This happened to me but I was the girl on the date. He then had the nerve to tell me that he only dates one woman at a time. I guess he meant literally not at the same time. You're not missing out on anything good, believe me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:42 AM
1

Oh, interesting. Is this what a Chad looks like to you? It makes me think the Chad thing can be very subjective and that people complaining about Chads don't realize that many different types of men are Chads to different women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 06:03 AM
1

Came here to comment this but it was already the top comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 10:07 AM
15

100% agreed. I'm not a fan of the negative attitude we sometimes have here toward pickmes. Some of us have been there and we really did not know anything better, like we could not have even imagined beyond what was there. We should be helping each other out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:13 AM
1

I don't think the official FDS philosophy says not to go for broke dudes. It's "don't go for guys who are stingy with you." He can be a broke student and still go out of his way to give you the things and experiences he can afford.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:34 AM
5

No, he really didn't. Because I made that joke and he didn't get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:27 AM
12

This is so beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:23 AM
294

Lol the last guy I dated invited me on a picnic on the beach (wow! so romantic...) ....... and he showed up with a quarter of a bottle of wine, no cups, and a few pieces of dried fruit. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 11:52 PM
78

Seriously. I'll never make the mistake again of driving to a man if we're not in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 11:49 PM
3

I have, I guess. I've been unanimously told that Guy X was quite bad looking, and I could kind of see it, and I remember thinking he was quite ugly when I met him. But now I can't see him that way again no matter how much I try. Personality really changes things for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/20 07:03 AM
1

That's what I thought casual meant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:50 AM
1

This is how it works for me anyway without the looksmax. I meet guys. Feel neutral to negative about their appearance. Feel sexually attracted after I get to know them. Nothing about them changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/20 05:24 AM
7

Yeah, I figured it was a difference of experiences/values as most things are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 01:37 AM
2

They teach us how to date outside of our “level” in sex-Ed. That’s why we are kept separate. So guys can’t learn the secrets. Hahaha, oh yes. How could I have forgotten that lesson on "dating up 101" in health class? A persons’ attractiveness, to me, increases or decreases as I learn who they are and what they want out of life. 100% true for me too. I have dated a range of guys on the conventional attractiveness spectrum (not handsome, chubby, 5'8" to chiseled face, ripped, 6'6") and both were n…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/20 06:09 PM
1

Damn. These threads make me sad af. What is wrong with everyone :(. If I were to say something like that, I would mean it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/20 05:19 AM
18

One of the things I wrote to myself when I started internalizing FDS philosophy was to not do any of this for a relationship. If I want to hold out on sex or hold out on my feelings, it's because I want to help myself, not play my cards into a relationship. Very freeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:06 AM
25

Yeah, this was a super weird post.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/20 05:00 AM
5

I can't tell you how it's affected me because I think the men I've slept with weren't out of my league. I don't think I thought any particular thing about leagues actually. You're attracted to each other or you're not.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/20 04:58 AM
32

This is so backwards to me. I always assumed if you were dating each other, sleeping with each other, that you were both off the market. Only when I entered my mid-20s did I figure out it's the other way around for many people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 01:30 AM
2

Where do I even begin... probably best to read the Handbook for starters. I grew up believing that men and women should be treated exactly the same, paid the same. This translated into dating as splitting the check. It's fair, right? Sure, it's fair when the context is platonic, familial, or professional. And I don't want him to think I'm not independent! Or that I'm using him! I want him to know how nice and fair I am! How modern and enlightened I am! Bottom line: 1) it is not fair, and not onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:37 AM
6

This is true. Your fitness doesn't just convey superficial information. It demonstrates that you take pride in your health and appearance, that you have an active hobby, that your mindset is dialed in, and many other things. But I'll tell you as someone who's achieved "the ideal female form", being fit is no protection against LVM. And HVM won't bother with you long term if you don't have the insides (emotional maturity/boundaries/standards) to match your outsides.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:58 AM
2

There's nuances in the way it's used but in general it's when guys categorize women as fuckable or dateable/respectable. They demand purity of the women they love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:25 AM
36

Isn't casual dating dating without sex? That's why it's casual, right? No emotional nor physical intimacy. Why does it sound like the term is flipped when I hear it used nowadays?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 07:39 AM
19

Literally everything you said. I didn't know any of this shit. I have no idea why it never trickled down to me. I got my dating lessons from television and my pickme peers. I felt incredibly guilty about dating multiple people. I was so concerned about not hurting anyone's feelings. So glad I found this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:49 AM
0

Completely agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/20 12:50 AM
13

Or, I'd stay friends or FWBs with them. I've done this too. After I wrote him off as potential bf material. I thought it would be no big deal to keep him around until I found my real bf. I was so wrong. This type of shit just does not vibe with me and it creates so many wounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:00 PM
12

This is so true... I leveled up haaaardcore after the disintegration of my first relationship. I don't know what happened to my ex but he gained what looks like 50+ pounds. It doesn't bring me any gratification just vague sadness for humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 10:55 PM
24

/u/crookedbookend I've done similar. Getting off of work, rushing home to get ready, then driving an HOUR to his place. Repeatedly. Wow. Also, something incredibly naive: he asked me if we could have unprotected sex since I was on my period. I figured it would be okay (yes, I know with bad timing, sperm can potentially live until your next ovulation). This is so crazy to me, but I had no idea that he was sleeping with other women! It never even crossed my mind. We were not exclusive but because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 10:47 PM
4

Yeeeet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:20 AM
11

"I never said I wanted a relationship with you, where did you get that idea?" Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:14 AM
9

I'm scared to swallow this one. I have a feeling it's true but I don't want to believe it. But I know secondhand that it happens all the time. Some seriously depraved stuff that the wife finds out 10+ years into a marriage. I guess the only way to really mitigate this is to be unforgiving about anything off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:13 AM
74

Do whatever you're comfortable with. So if you can go to one of your homes and make out and stand your ground when it comes to sex, do it. If you're not ready for that conversation, avoid private spaces. Say goodbye at the door. If he invites you in, just say something like "I've gotta get going actually" or "I'd love to but I've got an early morning tomorrow." I used to feel disingenuine, not like myself, and guilty about these coded messages instead of just saying, "Hey. I like you but I think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:41 AM
2

That's such a mindfuck for me because consciously I know that the kind of treatment I experienced as a child is NOT at all what I want in my other relationships but I think it's probably shaped quite a few of my minimum standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:40 AM
46

Do not fall for this, ladies. I thought we were in a non-exclusive relationship because he was fucking other women. I wasn't dating anyone else because that wasn't my style (before FDS). But as soon as I started dating someone else, something in him snapped and suddenly non-exclusive wasn't fun for him anymore. He gave me some serious attitude for a week before dumping me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:42 AM
1

Do not pay on a first date ever. A group of attending physicians (mix of older women and men) I was working with and I were chit-chatting about this and they were all floored to find that I had ever paid or split with a guy on a first date. One male attending told me that either the guy pays or he doesn't want to see you again, or if he does want to see me and doesn't pay, then I shouldn't want to see him again. All agreed. I thought that was incredibly offensive. But I was young and had only re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:31 AM
5

Haaaa I was legit just about to quote this too. It's so, so, so easy to confuse the two. If anyone had asked me out loud if I believed in my worth, I would have of course said yes (because I was so confident in this and that). But I didn't even know the meaning of true worth. It something that permeates every aspect of how you treat yourself, how you spend your time, who you let into your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:23 PM
5

Yeah, I never fully understood the self-love talk I saw on here or elsewhere. I thought I already loved myself. So wrong. The feeling I was confusing for self-love was a sense of ease/resilience I felt in certain areas of my life. The latter is often an outgrowth of self-love but mine wasn't. It was an outgrowth of extreme hate for myself and no belief in my or anyone else's inherent worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:55 PM
7

I think that's helpful to remember. That we could have easily let the lessons pass this time but didn't. I'm happy for you too. I hate to even say this but I also had a bad experience that ended in January and it was really painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:50 PM
3

Ugh I loathe to even explain it tbh. Try Google. Sorry, not trying to brush you off but I just think it's toxic af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:37 AM
29

He's trying to get a whole foods meal in likely for weightlifting and aesthetic goals. It's a savory way to eat oats. This is shit I used to eat when I was near 100% focused on strength/aesthetics/convenience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:15 AM
5

Pretty sure it was created with the satirical self-awareness that incels lacked when they created "roastie".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:03 AM
2

Holy shit. This is messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:28 PM
27

You'll hear from him again but don't take that as a good thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:29 AM
15

I found this out by accident because I was traveling all week long to five cities, preparing for major interviews. Just before that this NVM I was hooking up with told me he slept with his ex. All right, I don't have time for this right now. Upsetting, sure, but can't really respond meaningfully. What do you know... I start getting increasingly desperate texts from him culminating in a series of text WALLS (which I ignored for the next week). Should have kept ignoring. Just ignore it, ladies. Yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:23 AM
48

This was my answer too a few weeks ago but now that I'm digging deeper into it, the fact that I prioritized horniness over my physical and emotional well-being as well as over my time and my money means I wasn't showing myself the love I needed from myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:27 PM
36

Love this. I found this sub through a hate post as well. Thanks, haters!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:10 AM
24

Seriously--I wonder how long it would have taken me to learn this without FDS/ease of access to the wisdom of millions of HVW before me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:59 AM
2

Why do men do this? A guy I was dating was sleeping with and dating other people (I didn't know until a month in). I was naive and didn't want to hurt his feelings by doing the same... Until I found out about his state of affairs. At which point I immediately started dating again. When he found out, he was so put off he dropped me within the week. It was ridiculous. So hypocritical it was unreal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:12 PM
3

Hey. Wow. I hear you. I've struggled with those feelings myself. I can't say they were due to circumstances on your level. But I've had a lot of spiraling thoughts about "if only I'd been..." etc. It's really hard. So difficult. At times it's gotten me so low. But I try to remind myself, "Hey. Be nice to yourself. You didn't know any better. It's not your fault that someone chose to be cruel, selfish, etc. That's on them. But now you know better--that people like that will jump on your authentic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:52 AM
1

A rule of thumb when it to comes to men: they always know from day 1 if they will marry you one day. I'm not sure if I'm on board with this. Yes, I've seen the related post in the Handbook. I just think it's a little too simplistic. But I'm thinking from a woman's perspective, of course. I would need to think things through and really get to know a guy before considering him husband material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:41 AM
5

Wow. I really like this. Such a revolution of thought for me. Simply ignore men. Just ignore them. Would have made my life so much easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:38 AM
6

We come into this world alone and we’ll leave it alone. Definitely. No matter how close you are with someone, you are ineluctably on your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:37 AM
3

Yes! I wish someone had instilled the strong belief in me that I don't have to explore. This is something I had to experience to understand. I was so insecure about what I perceived to be sexual inexperience. I wanted to increase my "number" so badly partially because I didn't want to say I married the third guy I ever slept with (i.e. I'm a sucker who didn't try things out with more people to find The One). And I read so much shit online that made it seem obviously abnormal to have a low count.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:35 AM
–

​ Also if you rack up enough shitty relationships people stop listening and instead of thinking 'awww poor girl' like when you were 21 after having to listen and listen about this deadbeat you dated and this arsehat who never called back and this idiot you slept with because they promised x that you are the real moron As much as I wish this didn't happen, I'm glad I made a huge mistake in my 20s regarding relationships because it snapped me to fucking attention. I was so naive, wow. It's actuall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:25 AM
3

But it all starts with having a solid way of making a living, so that you don't ever have to put up with any man's shit. So glad that my dad taught me this. He also told me that marriage shouldn't be my goal. I think I still want to get married maybe but I get where he's coming from. I've seen so much shit play out because a woman was financially dependent on a man. Some men will use that to justify egregious behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:15 AM
6

In what way do you feel that you're still facing the consequences? Walk away at the first red flag. There will be many more and they will all get worse. Truth. I used to drop men at the first red flag and I thought that it was me who had the problem (i.e. lack of sympathy). I gave one a chance because I had some time to finally breathe between work/school (note: you never have time for a bad relationship) and realized that, actually, I was doing the right thing by dropping guys. Most men are low…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:08 AM
6

Don’t go out with that poetic loser Hear ye, hear ye! 😂 Edit: Wrong emoji.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:00 AM
3

Damn. I am so sorry that you went through that. Damn. What the fuck? Wish I could hug you and all of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 12:33 AM
1

Damn. This puts some stuff into perspective for me. I probably shouldn't have been messing around with a 30 year-old guy now that I think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:41 AM
1

I just realized after I made my comment to OP that every guy who I had a date with was checking up multiple times to confirm. Day before. Day of with a "Hey, can't wait to see you." Etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:52 AM
3

This has never happened to me. I never text/call to say, "Hey. Are we still on for XYZ?" Because it frustrates me that people are so flaky these days that we have to re-confirm something I already carved out time for when we originally made the plans. Like, so were you leaving it up in the air that we might not meet up when I blocked out time for you in my calendar? However, without fail, the guy always reaches out to me to re-confirm plans. And now that I understand this whole issue more, I gue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:49 AM
8

So this mindset would automatically disqualify 99% of guys I've dated. Except for the maxillofacial surgeon, all of the dudes I've dated had disgusting bathrooms, messy af, and full of random soap but somehow no face wash or conditioner or anything useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:36 AM
4

Yeah, on a conscious level, I can talk nicely to myself. I tell myself, sometimes out loud, "Hey, it's okay. You're okay. You made a mistake. You couldn't have known any better at the time." But I find that thoughts about this person and the corresponding feelings of repulsion are intrusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:18 AM
5

This hurts so much to read but was one of my favorite comments in this thread. I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I feel you. I'm scared to properly grieve. I think it would put me in a bad place. It already has. But I'll start small: I'll pay attention to those red flags and this time I'll go right back to my old M.O. and drop them. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'm proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone and learning firsthand that that M.O. was an instinct for a rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:15 AM
6

I was cringing about things I did which were way worse than what you’ve described as a pickme- I only illustrated the very, very tip and beginning of this nightmare relationship. There's way more that he did and way more that I did. You're not alone. You're right. It was a mistake. We did not hurt others. We were just naive. That isn't a sin. I don't believe in God but I do value that there were deep and important truths I learned from this. I know I will look back, grateful for the lessons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:03 AM
3

I started on this route earlier today... just listing things in my head that repulsed me about this person and that's what got me to swirl out of control and write the original Reddit post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 03:57 AM
6

You sound like you still put romantic relationships and men on a pedestal. I think you're right but that feeling for me comes more from a place of thinking it's only "natural" that humans pair bond and form deep and fulfilling romantic relationships. Edit: I just wanted to add that the worst part was that when I met this guy, I finally felt like I had found that internal happiness and that it was nice to have this romantic addition to my life. It felt like something extra on top of the good. I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:22 PM
2

Thanks so much for writing this. I think I feel more okay just knowing that it's a common experience and that we deserve to be good to ourselves just as we have been good to others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:20 PM
16

I think maybe the best way I can move on from this is to remind myself that it is a gift to be kind, to be vulnerable and caring. It is not my fault that I didn't know the level to which men could be selfish. And now that I do know, I need to forgive myself for operating on a more innocent level, and I need to be extremely discerning from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:05 PM
9

The problem is--I feel like I'm all set in myself. I have hobbies I love and I've found my calling. I know what I'm good at and I believe I can improve in anything I want to. I luckily had strong enough self-esteem before this relationship so that it didn't completely destroy me. I'm smart and hardworking when it comes to academics. My insecurity is romantic relationships. I feel like I don't understand the unspoken rules but that if I just experiment I can crack the code as if it were a skill. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:01 PM
1

How would you feel about dating someone 29 or 30? I'm asking because I dated someone who was 29/30 when I was 25/26. I didn't really bother me but now I'm wondering if that was too big of a gap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:49 PM
2

Hi. Sorry for the super late response. What I mean was that the thing that was missing in my life (see original tweet) was sex. A guy could be mediocre or worse, but I wasn't getting laid otherwise for whatever reason, so I would just tolerate him so I could have sex. Edit: Just so it's clear, these weren't guys who were treating me well (i.e. I wasn't using guys who had feelings for me).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:40 PM
13

If you tip over a glass of milk, there is milk on the floor. Now you have a mess. The last guy I dated spilled the proverbial milk, apologized for fucking up, and said he wanted to start over. So instead of cleaning up his mess, he just got a different glass of milk and promised he wouldn't spill this one. It's absurd. People don't get away with things. I used to think, "Why are they getting away this? They hurt me so much. I'm left dealing with the pieces, and they just ride off into the sunset…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:54 AM
68

I can see that; that intuition is finally starting to develop for me too. I wouldn't say it's because they did me wrong but because they were the type of person to disrespect lovers, girlfriends, and most of all themselves that they will continue to create negative relationships and situations for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 03:40 AM
36

Me at 25 with a 30 y.o. LVM. Didn't seem like that much of a difference but he knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 11:14 PM
1

Go out wherever you got to socialize, alone. I do this a lot already and have traveled alone many times. try to look inviting Okay, fair. I don't do this. My (male) classmate told me that I give off overtly sexual vibes when I make eye contact with people because I "look very feminine" (his words), which isn't always the message I want to send, so I've been trying to moderate that. I guess it's gone too far in the other direction. tone down your aggressiveness Projecting masculine energy is a tu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 01:48 AM
5

Ewww. Well, I'm gonna try the "deny sex" advice I picked up from here and see how it goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 02:26 PM
14

I'm really glad a bunch of you are on the same page here. Women have sex drives. I know the FDS advice is that masturbation or establishing a respectful FWB relationship is better than ending up in a sexual/romantic relationship that is unfulfilling or, worse, draining. But it's difficult to accept that when I just want to fuck a decent-seeming, attractive human man who I think I like and who I think likes me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 02:25 PM
53

I've thought about this before, and the answer, unfortunately, is always sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:52 AM
3

Side note... I dated a guy who was barely 5 years older than me (he was 30, I was 25). He talked down to me like that too, e.g. whenever we had a serious conversation about our relationship, he would lord his life experience over me. Sometimes he would make comments about me being "too young" to remember something. I brought it up once ("Why do you talk to me like you're a decade older than me?") and he said he felt like he was that much older. Idk what the point of my comment is... I guess just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 09:54 PM
36

A lot of the wrong ones come flocking too the better you get. Watch out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:21 PM
3

Is this really true though? The last guy I dated fed me a version of this line and I thought it was bulllllshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 01:05 AM
1

Hey, so update: he ended up reaching out to me and I continued to see him for a bit but I broke it off.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/18 01:46 AM
1

I dumped him!!! He was an enigma-- he had everything together professionally but was weirdly needy and immature romantically. It was like he had spent so much time on school/work that he never got to work on his relationships. He kept talking about how his non-physician friends were all married with children and he was super pushy about pressing fast forward on our relationship when I barely knew him... Shame cuz he was otherwise a hottie. Maybe I acted too soon. Oh well :(.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/18 01:45 AM
1

I didn't talk to him since writing my original post. Today, he came right back...
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/18 03:52 PM
1

That's a great idea. Me being over-expressive and over-affirming was not natural to me. I did it because I had read so much nonsense about being 50/50 in the same dimensions. I'm not saying the relationship overall shouldn't be a dual effort, but in courtship, 50/50 doesn't work. I had to learn that a really strange way because I was unintentionally not pursuing for weeks. I was the woman asking guys out, making sure I didn't leave ambiguity on the table, splitting or even paying the bill on the…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/18 03:39 PM
1

Hi! My pursuit stage was about two days. Short, I know, but it definitely changed the relationship in a way that surprised my blue pill self. I finally had some time to be an aggressive equal so I became just that, just like I had been taught to. I will definitely read that book. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/18 10:56 AM
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