~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?I sure hope so! He showers me in compliments, and we have very sweet moments together. I have nothing to complain about. He's assured me he's not seeing anyone else. I guess I was considering bringing up the exclusivity talk after we spend the whole weekend together, which is the current plan, because at that point... it'll just feel natural? But it is objectively early, and I don't want to nag. Or make things seem awkward/heavy/burdensome. But he did talk about plans for the future - like takin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/25 06:49 PM |
| 2 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?About the never just going to his place thing, I meant that it's never just that. When I did go, we spent the whole day together, out and about, before we went there. And we're spending the night together again, but going out & spending the whole day/weekend together. I'm definitely not planning on withdrawing sex. I understand it's a way to show him affection and interest, and nothings changed in that regard. I'm still very much interested. If anything, the current plan is to really show him ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/25 06:46 PM |
| 1 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?It was definitely early and not at all what I had planned. I can't go back in time, though, and take it back - and I probably wouldn't, either, because it was good. But it was early and it did throw me off. I wouldn't advise other women to do the same. I'm trying to salvage & handle this the best way possible. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/25 12:13 AM |
| 2 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?I can't answer that for him. He has not asked me, no, but we've assured one another that we're not seeing anyone else and that we're off dating apps. I'd like to make it official, yes, but I'm afraid to be the one to bring it up or ask for something this early on. It is objectively very early. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/25 10:26 PM |
| 2 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?I feel like both of us lost control of the situation when we were alone, and I don't blame him for it - I knew it could happen the moment I decided to go to his place. We've talked about it so farr and what he's said is that he doesn't want this to end anytime soon and we've got other dates lined up. I'm definitely keeping myself grounded and not creating any expectations. I'm gonna try my best to be feminine & good company, and see where it leads. He's already got the milk for free and I feel l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/25 11:41 AM |
| 3 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?And he did show up for date three. We're seeing each other again in a couple of days. I guess I was mostly overthinking things, and (for now, anyway) things are going pretty well. You were right. I'm just focusing on being sweet and present and fun. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/25 11:38 AM |
| 3 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?I am definitely overthinking this. But also, it's just a gut feeling (or anxiety) telling me there's something wrong. And I know I get like this with distance/lack of constant reassurance. I'm trying to keep myself in line. I've been out with men that were clearly only interested in sex too and it was... weird. Both the aftermath (going cold, not cuddling, putting up distance, etc, then not pursuing) as well as their reaction to being told to wait. And this guy's been nothing like this so far. I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/25 07:29 PM |
| 2 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?Yeah, I'm gonna work on just being positive, happy, and grateful. I'm definitely keeping the anxiety and freak out to myself. Just felt... too easy? I guess? No mixed signs yet. He said he wanted to see me again, so we did. Then we scheduled another date. And it's... weird? Sorta? I'm trying to game-ify this but I know it's not the way to go. Thank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/25 07:25 PM |
| 3 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?Yeah... I guess I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop/for him to bail. I guess I feel like I don't deserve a relationship that seems... this easy? And I recognize I'm trying to add drama or reasons to freak out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/25 07:23 PM |
| 5 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?Yeah, he kept apologizing and said one of his concerns was that it'd make me change my mind or associate the event with negative thoughts. Which wasn't the case at all, and I told him that. It just feels too good to be true? I guess? I've been telling him about how much I've enjoyed the dates & that I'm looking forward to seeing him again. I'm gonna keep the anxiety to myself and not make it his problem. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/25 07:22 PM |
| 2 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?He really doesn't seem like a player. But I got a lot of anxiety & started feeling like I've lost my bargaining chip of sorts, and that meant he'd bounce anytime. Yeah, it really did feel easy and like we'd known each other for a bit. It didn't feel awkward. Or tiring. It was good and easy. And I guess I'm missing that now that we're not together in person. I'll keep my freak out to myself and just focus on being sweet and positive (as I've been) with him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/25 07:20 PM |
| 3 | Am I going crazy?People get married well past their 20s and go on to live happy lives. Starting fresh at this point may be harder, or may not be what you wanted - but is staying in your comfort zone (that isn't at all comfortable, given your posts) worth the constant belittling, accusations, arguments and the fact he has no issue leaving? You won't experience love or safety from this person, because in 5 years, you haven't. Words mean nothing if it's not followed by words. After all this time, what do you have o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/24 05:21 PM |
| 2 | Am I going crazy?Yeah, often a lot of people in bad situations just need confirmation that their feelings aren't overreactions and that they're not crazy. Some relationships seriously get you questioning yourself, your instincts and your feelings. Attachment just makes it that much harder to see things clearly. Glad you got out of that relationship though, no matter how hard it was. ❤️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/24 04:37 PM |
| 7 | Am I going crazy?Is it a choice if you feel like you don't have one, or if you've been led to believe that your feelings aren't valid and you are making things up? OP's partner, according to OP, has been making her feel like she's the problem and like there's something wrong with her for at least several months now - check OP's post history. It's a lot easier to see what's wrong with a situation from the outside looking in. After being in love, spending years with someone and being repeatedly told by the person … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/24 04:22 PM |
| 20 | Am I going crazy?OP, one of the things we have to ask ourselves when vetting a potential partner is whether this person would make a good husband and father. I won't voice my opinions, but I will ask you questions: Would you feel comfortable if he acted in this exact same manner (name calling, controlling, physically violent) with your daughters? Do you want them to grow up assuming that this is the norm, and accepting the same behavior from her future partners? Would you feel comfortable with him teaching any s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/24 03:02 PM |
| 7 | I'm sorta fascinated by this text exchange and wonder what you would do differently?They absolutely are pathetic. But I don't think anyone enters a situationship thinking it won't work out for them - may be a difference in value/league and the girl stays around hoping he'll pick her, a complicated situation (I.e. unrequited feelings), etc. I think no one would choose to be in one but... life's complicated. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/03/24 12:49 PM |
| 24 | I'm sorta fascinated by this text exchange and wonder what you would do differently?I'd be turned off if a guy tried communicating his desires/needs in that way - can't even imagine how it'd come across for a woman to behave so aggressive/demanding. But - I've been in her shoes before. I think, during the vetting stage, it's important to analyze and ask yourself whether this person just doesn't text that much as a habit or if it's out of a lack of interest. Which, to me, is her number 1 mistake - she assumes that her needs are automatically the standard. She needs more frequent… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/03/24 12:20 PM |
| 1 | Need help with sex...It doesn't help, no. I'm not saying, by any means, that this is an ideal situation. OP is not in the wrong. Her partner could be a lot more understanding and reasonable. However, those are things we can wish for but we can't force it. OP can suggest couples therapy, but how would he take it? Considering that leaving him is off the table, what is your suggestion for OP? If they completely stop having sex, it will have its consequences on the relationship. We don't know where OP stands regarding a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 10:32 AM |
| 0 | Need help with sex...That train of thought will not help their marriage. I'm not telling OP to do anything - but willingness, submission, meeting a man from a place of vulnerability rather than arguing and negotiating or just withholding sex may be the best steps to be heard and get to a better place in her marriage. May be a tradcon view, and therefore not necessarily RP but - I'd argue that, once you're married, there's no such thing as your body and your husband's body. You're one. We can wish that OP's husband w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 10:23 AM |
| 2 | Need help with sex...We don't know he objectively dislikes lube, though. OP says that he doesn't want to use it, and doesn't like the fact they need it in order to have sex. I can understand that some men (and I'm trying to imagine here, given that I'm not one) may expect or at least wish that their partner be ready (wet) without the need for foreplay or lube. It's not our job to question the validity of that thought process, because it won't get us anywhere - but they're married, sex is important, and they need to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 10:17 AM |
| 1 | Need help with sex...If you're referring to the anal part, it makes sense. If OP's husband is unwilling to consider lube for PIV intercourse (either because he thinks they shouldn't need lube, or because he likes that being dry adds to the tightness; can only think of these two reasons, really), bringing anal into the conversation may help with the two aforementioned issues, given it'll necessarily be tighter and it takes lube. Also, medical issues like vaginismus and the like, or a lack of lubrification due to horm… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 10:10 AM |
| 3 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?First of all, thank you for your comment! I really appreciate it. I've definitely realized I'm making something up in my head after reading the comments and that I'm definitely overreacting. I've also realized my insecurities are making this into a much bigger deal than what it is. It's hard for me to objectively see myself and acknowledge the positive things rather than my shortcomings. I'll continue vetting, talking and paying attention to both what he says and does. You're right it's early da… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/03/24 10:07 AM |
| 2 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?Lol I do need to touch grass. Thank you for that. It's sometimes easy to forget some people are just... real people and not representations of all the weird stuff we see online. I do realize, after reading the replies to the post, that I was creating an issue in my head that does not yet exist. He's a Christian, concerned enough with Christianity that he moved somewhere more Christians and listed that as one of the reasons, but he hasn't waited until marriage. At the end of our first date, he di… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/03/24 09:36 AM |
| 2 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?I didn't explain myself well enough! Usually, by date 4, I'm already dating/have made it official and there's a scheduled date to meet my family. I wouldn't sleep with someone I've been on 4 dates with and haven't gotten the whole "we're official" confirmation from just yet. Regarding faith: I'm culturally Catholic, but don't regularly attend mass. He's culturally Christian but doesn't attend church/isn't following Scripture. I know for sure he has not waited until marriage. But I'm well-versed … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/03/24 09:29 AM |
| 4 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?I wouldn't say I'm convinced. Based on all the red pill teachings, this kind of guy has access to easy sex and tons of options -- therefore, gatekeeping sex for a long time could make them look for someone easier. I wouldn't give in on the second date at all, but... I don't know if I'm in the position to expect commitment before it, I mean. The jokes... happened very naturally? A few things both of us said just... could be interpreted differently, by accident, and we both made jokes about it. Th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 03:58 PM |
| 7 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?I know! I think my opinion is skewed negatively because so many of the Christians I know, call themselves Christians but don't necessarily follow Scripture. I've asked him if he attends church and he said he doesn't enough - granted, he just moved, so... maybe just needs to find the right one? Yeah... I don't know enough about him (because it's so early on) to make an accurate judgement of character or create expectations here. Thank you for your comments. I needed a wakeup call that I may be ov… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 02:53 PM |
| 6 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?You're absolutely right. He hasn't done anything remotely wrong and... I'm just here, assuming, overthinking and panicking over things that aren't even real. I feel silly. I genuinely wrote this post fully prepared for people to come on here and say that I don't have a chance in hell... maybe I need to calm down slightly. I'm trying to keep busy with work, school, friends, and not discarding the other options I have just yet because it's so early on. Hopefully that helps keep me from being overl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 02:49 PM |
| 1 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?I'll definitely keep an eye out for opportunities to slide in a few comments regarding that, without making it into a full on conversation... I think, might be best. I've mentioned my dad being fairly overprotective, knowing about the people I go out with, plus the information on my profile... so I'd assume he already suspects I'm not into casual dating. But I don't wanna lead anyone on, including myself, so I'll definitely try to make it more clear in subtle ways. I'm not planning on waiting a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 02:32 PM |
| 4 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?I agree that not being able to say no isn't an attractive trait, and admittedly it is something I've been working on for the past few months. In regards to this situation, though, I wouldn't be reluctant to say no - because I'm not willing to compromise my morals and genuinely don't feel comfortable with the idea of casual sex, I just don't know how to get the point across without seeming like I'm holding it against him/using sex as a leverage. When you told the man that you were waiting for mar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 02:24 PM |
| 3 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?I think, in parts, I'm just insecure. But also, the guy is the real life example of what TRP says is a HVM - and we all know they're spinning plates like crazy. So I guess it's hard to believe that he's not? And I wouldn't want to approach the conversation regarding sex from a position of negotiation because it might set a bad precedent. Thank you for the suggestion of involving family. If we go past the next two dates, I'll definitely plan a nice lunch or dinner with my dad and invite him over.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 01:08 PM |
| 2 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I agree that the men I've felt attracted to would not make good husbands at all. I agree that it needs to change, and I'm actively working on it - which is why I was going out with a man outside of my usual type, as well as working on myself, keeping fit, improving my homemaking skills, etc. The post helped me realize that there needs to be some baseline attraction for it to work, or I'm gonna waste their time. There needs to be some respect, admiration, chemistry. There was none. It doesn't hav… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/24 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I think that if I wanted "the entire chad (...) package", I wouldn't have written the post and looked for advice. Two things though: I never once said that I looked for Chads (because I don't; quite the opposite) and never have I said that it was a fitness issue. I have no idea where you got those two things from. I get some men from TRP are entirely too obsessed with red pill rhetoric to really comprehend anything else, but this post was not at all about seeking Chads. Now - do you think the so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/24 06:03 PM |
| 3 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?As others have commented, and after some time thinking, I realized that entering a relationship with someone I'm unattracted to would make it harder for me to uphold my duties as wife, as well as make my partner feel loved. I still think it may be a situation worth trying - going out with people not exactly your type and seeing if attraction grows over time, but in my situation, the more I thought about it, the more I realized the lack of attraction surpassed the physical. I realized a lot of wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/24 01:22 PM |
| 1 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?It was my father who said that. I've only ever been in committed relationships with men he found ugly (but that I didn't), and that also didn't treat me quite right. I think he definitely knows I'm not the best at picking them and, that so far, this guy is more interested and a safer option than others were (he picks me up at my place, gets me home at a reasonable hour... despite my age, has agreed to meet my dad, is someone my dad knows of). I don't think he genuinely believes I'll never find s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 07:38 PM |
| 3 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I exclusively date older. The guy I'm going out with is 10 years older than me, but the filter on the dating app (which is how I meet people) is set to 30-43. I have met a couple of the guys I went out with and got to know through the field I'm in (I'm a liberal student, going into a masters program; makes it easier to get to know professors) and though they're usually my type - quirky and alt-looking - from experience, they're often not interested in anything serious or trad, especially if they… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 05:37 PM |
| 5 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I have definitely been reading TRP more often than I should - if any woman should. But it's also more than that: as I was telling a family member about this new guy, and how I thought it wasn't going anywhere because the chemistry isn't there on my side, they said it's foolish to wait for someone that does look attractive and that will treat me like trash. I guess that got in my head. I've given it a couple of dates in hopes it'd grow but attraction, if anything, decreased over time. He's a swee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 05:15 PM |
| 3 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?My taste in men is, according to most people, questionable. I like men that are either skinny or chunky. Looks like they haven't slept in a week. Tattoos, kind of an alternative style - hipster, indie, goth. Very much attracted to what the stereotypical libleft man would look like on average. And usually they don't end up being a good leader, or aren't interested in being one in the first place. And, unfortunately, I've found that their race does play a factor in the attraction - which I guess i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 05:00 PM |
| 7 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?The beta thing - you're right about that. It's one of the things I've struggled with, other than their appearance - there is some clinginess, this gentleness and overall desire to please (which has led him to accept some not great situations in his past relationships) that is a little bit of a turn off. However, I do respect all of those things and how much he values family. He's 10 years older than me and he's had his adventures, has traveled and is now focused on a family. Which, in theory, is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 04:13 PM |
| 7 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I understand your point and I'll take a look at the subreddits. I agree with you. I thought it could be a suitable option for me because I've never really desired sex on the basis of sexual attraction in the first place; it's something I do to please my partner and build our bond. I'm enthusiastic about those two things, but not about sex itself - so I've never really desired to jump on anyone. I thought it'd be easier, then, to ignore attraction. But, yeah, it's hard to feel the same excitement… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 04:08 PM |
| 8 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I'm also a believer that people in those types of relationships/marriage often developed attraction/feelings for their SO - but I've also met women who never became attracted to their partners, and sexual intimacy felt like a chore for them. It seems riskier to take that gamble nowadays, for some reason. But, if maintaining attraction is harder than it was, wouldn't it be a point in favor of relationships that are built on compatibility and commons goals instead of attraction? If you had to pick… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 02:23 PM |
| 7 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?I think being aware of what are needs and preferences is definitely super important, and not something most women are taught or encouraged to think about at all nowadays. It's a great point. Did you always feel physically attracted to your husband? Or was it something that developed over time? I agree that some basics can go a long way for a man - dressing well, eating well, working out. I can usually overlook a bad diet if they're tall enough and overlook awkwardness if they dress well enough -… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 02:18 PM |
| 2 | RPW Advice on how to use dating apps intentionally and early stage vetting?I think the major issue for me when it comes to dates is that I'm super indecisive. Sometimes I like a guy and I'm excited, but I feel unsure whether I should go or not, or whether I should wait and talk for a bit... and sometimes I'm not too excited and I continue talking anyway out of fear of missing out on something great. I'll listen to my gut a lot more and start going out with people that actually excited me and that I'm interested in. I also feel burned out if I go on too many dates or ta… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/24 03:35 PM |
| 2 | RPW Advice on how to use dating apps intentionally and early stage vetting?Thank you so so much for the advice and insight! I find that, whenever I'm reading a post on this subreddit, I look for your comment as they're all so helpful. Thank you. :) I've written my bio in a way that I think comes across as traditionally feminine! Thought it'd send a message and attract the more conservative types - based on the super swipes/compliments, it's worked! I still feel like some men just don't bother to read the bio and will swipe right on anyone, but it's been helpful. So, th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/24 03:29 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?I haven't started any fights so far. The only two arguments were started by him - when he thought things were too good and he was afraid of becoming vulnerable etc, and this... which I contributed to, but was ready to let the argument die and start again the next day but he wasn't and continued the argument (through text) well after I had gone to sleep. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 03:03 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?I agree. I don't usually interact or watch that type of content. Just popped up on my reels as I scrolled down social media. But I agree. Nothing good ever came out of those podcasts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 02:46 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?From all the links I looked at before my discussion with him, out of all the reported cases, for every case in which the female is the perpetrator of violence, there are at least two in which the female is the victim. And that's in the US - though I am not American. I know the reality is the same re: the stats from where I'm from. He didn't explain the thought process behind the argument. Just that, for some people, either they acted in a way to deserve domestic violence, or that's how "those pe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 02:45 PM |
| 6 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?You're right. It's not okay for him to hold that view for anyone, and it'd absolutely be an issue in the long run. I had realized him and I had different views on some things, like race and class etc... but I guess I've been too scared to start over to leave. Until this. I showed him the stats, shown him studies on domestic abuse affecting both the abused party and children, but seems like he wasn't willing to listen to me. Kept saying that I only think this way because of my age, because I'm a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 02:09 PM |
| 7 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?We had that talk yesterday, actually. Originally, after this came up, I asked for space and time to think; but before that, he had said he'd never been violent, would never be violent and that he doesn't think I'm part of the group that should suffer DV. But, during the talk, the story changed a few times. He explained he only said that because a male in his family had an abusive wife; but then proceeded to make some negative generalizations about women. He went from never having hit a woman to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 02:04 PM |
| 18 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?Yeah, I pointed out that his facts weren't quite true - to which he said he doesn't trust the stats, and he speaks from experience. To add to it, he couldn't keep one story straight. He never hit a woman, then he did but only lightly and in self-defense and he felt so bad; he meant abuse for the "working class" but really that only means terrible people and psychopaths BUT at the same time refused to be called working class because he has a phd and is "not like them". Just... kept making up new … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 01:41 PM |
| 4 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?I fully believe that women can be abusers and that there have been cases such as the one you've mentioned. And I told him that; and told him that if he criticized divorce laws and the likes, that'd be one thing and I could see reason in it. But... the whole "this can work for some people" just feels so extreme, I think. And it's really easy for people to flip on you. One day he might wake up and put me into the group of people that deserve DV, is what I'm thinking. But then... if I ask a man to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 01:19 PM |
| 7 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?I think his stance on it is absolutely wrong. I would advise a friend or a daughter to absolutely right. But, at the same time, I do come from a very liberal/politically correct background and I'm afraid I'm being too sensitive or overreacting? But I can't help but think that, if he can justify that for some people and double down on it, what's stopping him from doing that to me, or to kids? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 12:53 PM |
| 3 | Is therapy good enough of a reason to go into nun mode?I guess the question is - should I stop dating altogether while I'm in therapy? Is that a good decision to make? Would it be worth it, considering the time lost etc? | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/23 06:30 PM |
| 1 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?To some of them, yes. They all meet most of the criteria I've established for the men I might date - though the one I'm going out with also did, and well... | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 11:27 AM |
| 6 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?Both men and women - it was a work event, and his friends and colleagues were there. All of them referred to me as his girlfriend. He's sent me screenshots of him sharing pictures of us together and a video someone recorded of us with friends that don't live nearby also. Last night I told him that it'd be best to pause contact while he's away on the work trip and talk when he's back. I woke up today to three messages about how he likes me more than I can imagine (then why won't he commit?), that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 11:26 AM |
| 2 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?Why do you think that? | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 01:47 AM |
| 5 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?Yeah, I'm kicking myself for the sex thing. Rationally I knew it'd only complicate matters if things were to go wrong, which they did, but... they seemed right. I'm taking this as a learning opportunity I guess. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 01:46 AM |
| 3 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?The cold thing - I told him that it'd be best to take this week that he's away to think and talk when he's back. It's not my usual behavior, but it was something we had talked about previously (the first time this issue came up) and seemed like a possibility. Is this a bad idea? Should I text him throughout the week to let him know I miss him or something - which is something both of us did frequently? I know he's had two relationships before me, very serious and very problematic/turbulent ones.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 01:44 AM |
| 9 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?Yeah, I'm aware I royally screwed up. I guess I wanted to believe that he was interested in me. He seemed interested - from initiating conversations, including me in his life, remebering things I told him, making plans. It was easy to get caught up in all that. Thank you :) I'll use this as a learning opportunity. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 01:25 AM |
| 4 | RPW stance on the "casual" stage?I never meet with a date multiple times a week. But I swear - we couldn't get enough of each other. We met, then made plans, then met again, then wanted to make more plans. It never felt forced. But I can totally see that... doing couple-y things tricked me into developing too strong feelings too quickly. Like you said, lesson learned. Do you have any insight into how long it'd be wise to wait? I keep thinking that maybe I should give him a month or two, continue as we are, and see where things … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/23 01:21 AM |
| 2 | What do you disagree with F&F on? (Besides the having multiple women or dating 50 women stuff because I already know that triggers you trad cons) Give specific examples/points you disagree with.I'll say that for Knowles specifically, I think in the interview he did with a priest, a lot of his more nuanced world views came out - which is why I'd call him RP. And during a talk about marriage with the Wire cast, a lot of them touched on the main differences between man & women/needs, etc. But, you're right - I can see the conflation I did there with RP & tradcon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/23 06:57 PM |
| 4 | What do you disagree with F&F on? (Besides the having multiple women or dating 50 women stuff because I already know that triggers you trad cons) Give specific examples/points you disagree with.Why do you think that? I've always considered them both to be RP in their own ways. Knowles' dating advice for both men and women seemed pretty RP-leaning; at least the positive aspects of RP. Though I guess they're a lot more trad than they are anything else. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/23 06:47 PM |
| 9 | What do you disagree with F&F on? (Besides the having multiple women or dating 50 women stuff because I already know that triggers you trad cons) Give specific examples/points you disagree with.You asked why conservatives don't like those type of podcasts. I answered. Those people are not conservatives. The moment they started preaching for hook-up culture, casual sex, polygamy and the likes, they went into liberalism - which won't be popular among traditional women. Justin Waller, F&F and the Tates only add to the degeneracy issue and fall of the West. It's known (there have been studies on this, in fact) that the more civilized a society becomes, there is a tendency for monogamy. It'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/23 06:06 PM |
| 19 | What do you disagree with F&F on? (Besides the having multiple women or dating 50 women stuff because I already know that triggers you trad cons) Give specific examples/points you disagree with.The main problem, in my opinion, is that podcasts like Fresh and Fit, Whatever, etc, are not ran by conservatives and the main talking points are not conservative in nature. Conservatives (especially the Auth-Right/Tradcons) value family, because to us, family is the foundation of society - without it, we're bound to go down a path of degeneracy, which is what we're currently experiencing; the more women are encouraged to engage in hook-up culture and become career-minded, the fewer children the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/23 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Is it possible to effectively bridge major political/religious difference?He was raised Christian, and as he explained recently to me (after this post), he's pro-religion but doesn't necessarily believe in God all the time. But he seems to be okay with the idea of future children being raised Catholic or Protestant. I'd be fine with either and the families would too. I generally understand and agree that men care more about the appearance, a warm personality and feminine skills. But he's a liberal - and whether he's lying to himself or not, he's said he wants his woma… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/23 10:33 PM |
| 2 | Is it possible to effectively bridge major political/religious difference?Thank you for your insight. I really appreciate it! The abortion bit I already asked him about it - he has said he believes in God, but isn't religious. So, after he mentioned being in favor of abortion in some cases, I asked what his stance would be if his wife found out something about the pregnancy - he said he would not personally advocate for an abortion. The religion bit... that one would probably be tricky. And it is important to me. We've talked about homeschooling, which he doesn't seem… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/23 12:27 AM |
| 2 | As RPW, what are your opinions on age gap relationships?I'll start by addressing the final part of your comment: I'm not a virgin, but I have a low body count (2), no tattoos, no debts, and I'd say I'm fairly attractive. I have options - don't get me wrong. I've never ever feared not being able to find a man who wanted commitment with me, because there's plenty of those - but I also have a list of requirements that is pretty long. Speaks at least two languages fluently, is financially stable (leaning towards independent, rather than just stable), has… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/23 07:56 PM |
| -1 | As RPW, what are your opinions on age gap relationships?Yeah, I think the age gap would be a lot more of a burden in the future than it is now. But, at the same time, isn't that a good 40 or however many years? Lots of people divorce much sooner than that, and younger people get into accidents or sick randomly. I don't really have an opinion on this yet. Been trying to weigh the pros and cons. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/23 04:03 PM |
| 3 | Do most conventionally attractive/professionally successful men cheat? Is there any sign that they would or wouldn't?Wouldn't a man that depends on his wife, say, for financial support be considered "low value"? A study finds that men in those situations are more likely to be unfaithful: https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2010/08/men-more-likely-cheat-higher-earning-women Social studies don't confirm anything. They prove a tendency. Not only did you not mention this study, but there are other studies that say the opposite - which would point to cheating stemming from a person's set of morals, values and behavior… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/23 02:34 AM |
| 3 | What do you consider the most important things you've learned since RPW? What were the first steps you took to grow as a woman?I dealt with the same pressure, but coming from my family. "When my daughter was your age, she was dating around!" or "When I was your age, I was never that picky! I just wanted to have fun!" I was never too bothered by it but I was glad to find a community of people that felt the same way I did. Made me feel less like a weirdo. Also - I really appreciate all your comments and you have no idea how much they've helped me so far! I look forward to seeing how you feel about certain posts and you're… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/23 02:41 PM |
| 15 | Some guy said to me that the only thing I have going on for me is that I’m nice ? Is this negging ? He randomly said to me that “I’ll die alone “… and then added “you’ll eventually find someone “🧐I don't know if it's negging, but it sure is rude and mean and I doubt a guy that genuinely appreciates you and is interested in you will say that stuff. And I'd argue a gentleman wouldn't say that stuff to anyone. What a weird guy. Ew. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/23 11:28 AM |
| 23 | I want to be a stay at home mum and have kidsI am also 22, and I also live in an area where people don't get married young anymore. Also going to college, and just like you, I too feel like I'm in the wrong place and doing the wrong thing. I'll start by saying that, yes, the way the world is right now, a lot of people won't understand your decisions, and your parents may be some of them. That being said, you need one person to understand and support your decision and desire - your future husband. While the average person may take longer to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/23 01:02 PM |
| 1 | An ex came back into my life and I'm unsure of what to do; in need of RPW advice.I took some time to think about everything everyone said, and I'm so grateful I made this post. I was ready to try again and probably would've fallen into the same old behaviors. The post, and your comment specifically, helped me realize that his difficulties and struggles put me in a place of feeling insecure, anxious, and nagging, which isn't me usually. I've worked a lot on myself not to feel as much fear of abandonment going into relationships and he triggered that so bad in me, which was wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/23 04:09 PM |
| 1 | An ex came back into my life and I'm unsure of what to do; in need of RPW advice.Yeah, I can see how his issues are affecting his life - he wanted to quit his job, but didn't; then bought a new car, a new phone, a new house, which I feel is just a way for him to feel something - as well as his relationships - going from the best boyfriend in the world, to barely there. But I wanted so hard to be there for him. I thought it'd prove that I'm actually interested, that it'd count for something. I just never stopped to think that, even if it does count for something, it might not… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/23 08:19 PM |
| 1 | An ex came back into my life and I'm unsure of what to do; in need of RPW advice.I wouldn't be surprised if he did. And I agree that being with him, the way things were then, was keeping me from being in my feminine energy. I guess the reason why I felt and feel so strongly is because I've done the same things he did, and I get where he's coming from - but, yeah, I think staying if things were to be the same would only enable him. Thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/23 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?He used it as an example for something else, like switching from one thing that feels safe and you already have to something better... but why use women as an example? And why that example specifically? It was icky and odd and very immature. He seemed pretty normal during our talks. But those posts... oof. Yeah, if that's what he feels comfortable posting about on social media, I can't begin to imagine what he's sharing with his friends. I'm glad I posted on here so I know I'm not overreacting o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 07:21 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?He is divorced, but no kids. I've met some men that didn't want kids and marriage before, were happy with a child free life or not settling down, and only came to the realization that they did indeed want it in their mid 30s; I thought it was the same for him. However, I agree that this guy isn't looking for what he says he's looking for and probably is and will say anything to try and get sex. Now to decide whether to tell him why I lost interest, or just block and move on.. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 07:04 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?I don't think that post was needed AT ALL, and I agree it probably only hurts his image rather than the opposite. I meant more so - if this was someone prone to sharing SOME things - like hobbies and some parts of his day - that would be one thing; his post was entirely too much and in very poor taste. I agree there's a mismatch between his actions and his words. He's either creating a persona that is not who he is, or lying to me. In any case, not a good sign and not worth engaging with I've re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?I also found it very weird. The point he was trying to make, it seemed, was how it was difficult to make friends in a new city and what helped. But that could've been achieved... in so many different ways? Without using his hook ups as a crutch or examples? That just seems like a weird flex and if that's what makes him proud, it's probably not the kind of man that'll want the same thing as I do. I'm unsure whether to say why I've lost interested or not. But yeah, probably not the best option. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 05:54 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?I really don't think I'd be super comfortable, yeah. I can picture myself feeling insecure and overthinking who is going to be there whenever he meets up with friends, if these female friends/exes are still actively pursuing him, what's going on when I'm not there. It just seems like a lot of stress for not that big of a reward - yes, potentially marriage and children, but I could get that from others. Without the stress. He needs some social media presence for work, as do I. So I understand tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 05:46 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?I completely understand keeping your options open and having options before entering a relationship. I would not blame him if he had said he was unavailable for a date on a specific day, and I later found out it was another date - that's a non-issue. We are not in a relationship. I don't care who he sees as of right now. My concern is - will he keep these female friends after he enters a relationship? Why is he sharing on social media that he's using dates as a way to get more women? Why does he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 05:39 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?So, one thing is that both his and my work require some social media presence in order to be noticed. However, I don't personally share anything private like that on social media or make my work account about myself because - why would I? But when I found out he had pretty active accounts, it wasn't a problem initially. Seemed to be focused on work and his hobbies at first glance. Then I found that post today. It also gave me the ick - just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting. If all he wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 05:29 PM |
| 1 | Guy having tons of female friends: red flag or normal?I share the belief that, with a couple of exceptions, men and women cannot be friends. I've also had my fair share of male friends in the past, but all of them were interested to some extent; but I was in my teens and didn't know any better and liked the attention. The fact he was boasting about these hook-ups and making comments that "some gorgeous women were messaging me" makes it seem like he is immature and not interested in committing. At least not now. But I guess I was afraid of judging h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/23 05:12 PM |
| 8 | Paying on datesI agree that bringing friends with you to a date is absurd and unreasonable. If I were you, I simply would've communicated that and not stayed. You don't need to sit through uncomfortable situations. You can say no. As for the rest, I think you're in the wrong sub. Personally, I don't think equal rights work (I'm sure others from this sub would disagree), but it doesn't mean that both genders are the same. Men are attracted to different things than women are. If you're expecting a woman to fall … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/23 01:54 PM |
| 4 | Paying on datesI personally think it's a red flag to bring friends to a date. But it's even more of a red flag to do what you did. Why not say you're not okay with the fact she brought friends beforehand? Why not remove yourself from the situation from the beginning? That just sounds like you're unable to communicate your limits and boundaries and pick weird fights. While what she didn't isn't desirable in a woman, what you did isn't desirable in a person either. Also, to say that not picking half the tab on a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/23 01:38 PM |
| 1 | At what BMI/weight did you receive the most attention/feel the most attractive? Is there an ideal?When I was skinnier than I am now, which did not happen easy for me, I felt I looked very childish. And since I generally feel attracted to bigger guys (not gym-big, just bigger in general) it seemed odd too, or so I've heard. My brain doesn't do the "feeling good" thing. Physically I feel one thing, mentally I feel another. Which is why I was looking for an objective answer, I guess? It'd make it easier to just follow along. But I should be looking at how I feel and working on my relationship w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/23 01:55 AM |
| 1 | At what BMI/weight did you receive the most attention/feel the most attractive? Is there an ideal?I can see how it'd set off some alarm bells, yeah. It's difficult to talk about certain things because the ED affects how you view the world to some extent, not just yourself. I've been going to the gym but the diet part is the hardest; and the fear of looking big, I guess. I know I need to put more effort in and I'll definitely do that. Thank you for your suggestion, I really really appreciate it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/23 01:17 AM |
| 3 | At what BMI/weight did you receive the most attention/feel the most attractive? Is there an ideal?I wonder why we, women, bought into the super-skinny thing, then? If it's not objective truth? I've gotten the child comment a fair bit when I was fairly underweight. It's just most of my life I went from one extreme (130) to the other (low 80s) and was unhealthy both times. I know that my brain doesn't recognize objective truth as the truth so figured I'd ask this community, since I've gotten amazing insight and advice here before. Thank you so much for your comment! I'll pay more attention to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/23 01:12 AM |
| 2 | At what BMI/weight did you receive the most attention/feel the most attractive? Is there an ideal?Thank you! I didn't know about that sub. I mainly stick to this one, so I'm sorry it's not the most relevant of questions/discussions here. I'll look into it! I used to be severely underweight and spent a year recovering from anorexia. I felt like men were not at all attracted to me when I was that low - with a few exceptions, but I can see why now when I look back at how I looked. But physical image is the hardest thing for me to settle on what looks good because I admittedly have a hard time s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/23 01:07 AM |
| 2 | At what BMI/weight did you receive the most attention/feel the most attractive? Is there an ideal?I'm definitely not fishing for compliments and I'm sorry it came across that way. It's a genuine question. I had anorexia from when I was 18 to when I finally recovered in 2021, and it was pretty severe - going to the hospital, fainting. It still affects how I see myself and beauty standards in general, you know? I'm deathly afraid of gaining weight. But, if in order to be a desirable mate, that's a necessary thing to do - I'd do it. I don't have anyone else to ask questions like these. My frien… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/23 01:02 AM |
| 1 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?I understand that part! The thing I don't understand is - a hard number makes it seem something that is set in stone when, in my experience, dating & commitment have some wiggle room. And - who is doing the rating? Assigning hard numbers in comparison to what? Who is a 10, and who is a 0? Those are the parts I don't understand. I think intuitively most women who have used dating apps before, for example, have seen someone and decided to not even bother swiping right because it clearly wouldn't l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 03:52 PM |
| 1 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?Did you find the result was accurate? Did it match up with how you viewed yourself and how you thought others did too? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 03:31 AM |
| 1 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?I actually did something similar with a guy I went on a date with, felt a spark with but ultimately had different beliefs, how I could improve and for him to rate me and I thought that was still a little influenced by him thinking he still had a chance with me. And I've always been aware of what kind of guy isn't worth bothering with because he's most likely getting all the female attention and likely wouldn't want a serious relationship. I don't know how well a post asking to be rated in the me… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?I said that because, a while ago (2ish years? I think?) I made a post on a "rate me" kind of subreddit and the replies I got there seemed far from honest or realistic. I think unless a man isn't at all interested in you, then maybe they'll be honest? But, again, in my personal experience, men are too polite/nice. And... what do you personally do once you've figured out your SMV? And how does that differ from things you were doing before, for example? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 03:09 AM |
| 1 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?Looking at it in practice - putting in the effort - is something that makes sense to me and that I've already been doing - I don't know why the term itself got me so confused. Thank you! I really appreciate this :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 03:04 AM |
| 2 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?I don't know if it was meant as a joke or not, but in my experience, men are far too nice to honestly rate anyone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 03:02 AM |
| 1 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?I am having some difficulty with these concepts, yeah. I came across a few posts on "raising smv" and the likes and it confused me - one, because I never came across a term for that; two, because it just seems overly complicated and not necessarily... organic? Or natural? I think I'm doing and putting effort into the right things already. The actions themselves I'm not strange to, just the terms & concepts that got me a little confused. But you're right - better to focus on the process & the dec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 02:15 AM |
| 2 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?But wouldn't you be able to do that just based on trial and error - identifying partners on the same level as you, I mean? Or just by common sense? If you know you're not model-level attractive, you wouldn't go after model-level attractive guys/the top 1 or 3 or 10%; if you're older & overweight you can kind of assume that you can't be afford to be as picky... right? I always understood the concepts separately but I'm struggling to understand the importance of hard rating someone & how that work… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 02:10 AM |
| 4 | Is knowing your SMV important? Why? And how do you find yours out?From what I read, it stands for Sexual Market Value. So, basically, where you stand in comparison to other people in the sexual market - more or less attractive, on a scale - and I'm assuming the kind of partner you can expect to get based on your SMV (a woman with a lower SMV wouldn't get commitment from a guy with SMV, most likely) but I'm still a little lost on SMV/RMV and such, to be honest, especially when it comes to how it works in practice/its relevance. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 01:50 AM |
| 1 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?I'll definitely remove the dominant man part - and you're completely right. It has, in the past, attracted men that are mostly interested in my bio for 'kink' purposes rather than what I meant by it. But I do live in a very liberal area, and most people around me hold liberal beliefs and wouldn't be particularly interested in a tradwife - do you think just stating my beliefs and saying I'm looking for someone who holds similar values is enough? Or just cut that part altogether? I've definitely… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/23 02:32 AM |
| 0 | Delaying sex - how long to wait?I think that it's entirely possible for a woman to enjoy sex, be enthusiastically into it, and not give it out to anyone before marriage or before certain guarantees. Even if you set aside a religious perspective, women are encouraged to keep themselves (as) chaste (as possible) - and it seems a little hypocritical or out of touch to expect one thing, and demand another. I don't mean this to be disrespectful. But, realistically, if you don't feel a sense of responsibility after a girl gives you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/23 01:49 AM |
| 2 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?Yeah, I'll definitely stick to a week moving forward whenever possible! Thinking back, definitely seems like the best way to move forward without wasting time. Thank you! There's a few issues that I've noticed and that I'm actively working on: my family is the biggest one. I'm a pushover and end up taking the lion's share of stuff, which leaves me feeling overwhelmed or too busy to go out on dates. Currently working on setting healthier boundaries and making sure my priorities reflect what I g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?Not a dangerous area at all! It's pretty safe and I go out by myself all the time. I'm also in a big city, not in a bad area... it just worries them. It's the idea of me showing up *alone* on a first date that freaks them out for some reason. They're old and a little nutty and, yes, nosey. Being honest, it's normal around *here*, right? They just... live in their own little world lol My dates haven't had an issue with that but some female friends had and I wanted to see what other people think… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 10:16 PM |
| 1 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?I also don't know any Catholic churches that plan events for singles or young adults. I feel like it's something Catholics could learn from Protestantism in general, rather than leaving Catholic youth to fend for themselves in the dating world. I live in a big city, and I feel the same way - the city is huge and everything that I ever need to do or want to do is close to me, which often stops me from exploring other places and meeting new people. I agree. Dates sooner. Do you think I should wait… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 09:46 PM |
| 3 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?As someone with family in Portugal, the US and in Brazil, I don't see much or any difference between the 3. Brazil is pretty western. We deal with the same problems - a few of our own unique problems too, still - but mostly the same ones: high divorce rates, hookup culture, wokeism, etc. It's no longer a very religious culture either, so whatever happens in the US, happens here a year later. I'll definitely rephrase that! Would it be better to just say 'someone with similar values and goals'? Yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 09:19 PM |
| 2 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?I definitely feel that, as of now, it really is the most common way to meet people. I don't go out that much, but I can count the times I've been approached in one hand - which I hear from my family and older friends that used to be common. And, at least here, definitely isn't. I'll consider meeting sooner, and you're right. The objectively crazy weirdos showed their weirdness very early on. Sometimes the schedules don't match up, but I do try to get to know them a little bit online before meeti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 09:14 PM |
| 2 | Delaying sex - how long to wait?Genuine question - how do you propose a woman navigate that? You're saying you won't date women without sex, but it's also been well-established that a woman with multiple sexual partners is not the ideal partner... those two don't go together. I get you have no skin in this particular game as a man, but curious to hear what you think can be done/what you'd expect from someone you'd consider committing to. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 09:04 PM |
| 1 | Advice for women with high body counts?Thank you! I was genuinely curious. I hope it didn't come across as me challenging what you said, or doubting you. Was just genuinely curious. Some of these, I can see and had imagined. Some, though, make sense if you think about it. I have no idea what the thousand cock stare is and I'm afraid to google the definition lol | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 07:46 PM |
| 1 | Online Dating, Conversations & First Dates: How to handle it all?I don't love online dating either, honestly. I started using it mainly because it was the only (easy) way out I found. I'm looking for a Catholic Church I feel comfortable in, but the ones that offer the TLM are nowhere near me. I'll look into investing more effort into attending mass. I've asked my father to talk with his friends in hopes there'd be a single son with similar values but the one I met wasn't particularly compatible. Thank you for your advice! I'll look into sports. Making friends… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 07:36 PM |
| 1 | Delaying sex - how long to wait?I agree - while I feel that "how long can I wait" is a valid discussion with a lot of varying opinions, the guy OP's going out seems weird and like he only cares about getting in her pants, to be honest. Valid discussion, but seemingly not adequate (potential) partner. I will say - with the guy I was dating, exclusively, a little bit ago, it definitely helped explaining my view of sex and that it was something important to me (and that it wouldn't happen before I was extremely sure of our potent… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 04:34 PM |
| 11 | Delaying sex - how long to wait?All men want sex - yes. That part is true. But what humans want and what they choose to act on are two different things. As Christians, God asks us not to act on our base desires and instincts and, instead, focus on what He has commanded us to do; that should be applied to all Christians. Being a Christian when it is convenient isn't actually being a Christian. You can absolutely be in relationships with men that want sex and act on that desire. However, it is hypocritical of him to make the dec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 05:25 AM |
| 24 | Delaying sex - how long to wait?He's a Christian... but he's divorced, doesn't feel any guilt for having had sex before marriage, and is trying to initiate aggressively without any commitment or talk about where the two of you stand or want? I'm sorry to ask this, but - are you sure this is a 'good man' as you say? I understand it is so easy to get excited over a new connection, especially when things seem promising, but if you read between the lines, this person's actions aren't in alignment with what they say their beliefs a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 05:13 AM |
| 3 | Advice for women with high body counts?May I ask what some of them are? I don't have a high body count myself, but always wondered how men would know if women can just lie about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/23 02:22 AM |
| 1 | Need advice and maybe some friendsAs someone who has been in the same exact position as you, I understand how badly this sucks. A lot of people who have never been in long distance dynamics will not understand how intense things can get in a short period of time, despite the distance. I spent a few months talking to a guy, got very emotionally invested only for him to disappear on my birthday. It sucked. In parts, I didn't know if I did something wrong, if he was busy or if he had just left me for good. I didn't know if there wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/23 09:53 PM |
| 3 | Advice on dating as a bisexual womanI looked it up. UCLA Law collected data from 11 different surveys conducted in the US and four other countries. You can google it. It is important to me because it's a false statement. I've given my piece of advice to OP, and I don't think correcting someone will make her feel weird. She shouldn't feel weird. The statement you gave was incorrect, factually. That's about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/23 11:38 PM |
| 6 | Advice on dating as a bisexual womanYes, personal experiences are different from facts. And not enough to make the statement that most women are bisexual, given that someone's social circle is highly dependent on age, location, class and more. The fact is, most people identify as straight. Saying most women are "slightly bisexual" erase both heterosexual women and bisexual women alike - heterosexual women, because it makes it seem they're "weird" for not experimenting or that they're some sort of religious freak, and bisexual wome… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/23 11:34 PM |
| 3 | Advice on dating as a bisexual womanHi, OP! I think whether you being bisexual will be a problem or not depends largely on who you are dating. Religious, traditional men might find it not to their liking - for religious and/or social reasons. But that's just one group of people that may be suitable to date you; and even that group is not homogeneous. I personally feel like letting them know before things get serious would be best - but maybe not on the first date. Maybe spend enough time with the person to know that they're decent… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/23 11:18 PM |
| 5 | Advice on dating as a bisexual womanThe whole "most women are at least slightly bisexual" is the weirdest thing, and not at all true. In fact, only 3.5% of the adult citizens in the US identify as either lesbians, gay or bisexuals. This statement is a push to further normalize something that is not, in fact, the norm. Most women are straight. There is no such thing as slight bisexuality. People don't need to be "ultra religious" to be straight. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/23 11:12 PM |
| 3 | Modesty & Vanity: How to balance those two in day to day life?You're right. In parts, I've been growing closer to my faith, which has made me pay more attention to my behaviors - and, though I'd like to believe I'm just keeping myself presentable, I've been focusing too much on the way I look. The thread helped me realize that deep down, I believe that's >the most< important thing about me. Thank you for your insight. I think it's time for me to take a deep look into how I'm dealing with my appearance and the place it's occupying in my life. May I ask how … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/03/23 08:30 PM |
| 3 | Modesty & Vanity: How to balance those two in day to day life?Oh, mine is definitely nothing like the Kardashians! I think I try my best to look natural and not overly done. Like you said, facials, good skincare, nails, clothes. At the end of the day, I don't think I look too out there or too put together or flashy - but comparatively, when girls my age and around me are wearing sweats, I kind of stick out a little bit. My concern came from knowing that, though I don't look plasticky or like I've spent as much effort as I actually have, I still think about… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/03/23 08:26 PM |
| 3 | Modesty & Vanity: How to balance those two in day to day life?It's not easy to hear any of what you said, but you're right and I really appreciate your comment and insight. Really. I don't think any of my habits are being actively harmful to my relationships, and I make sure to plan my time in a way it doesn't get in the way of dates, for example, I know it is a problem. And it does have to do with maturity. I could blame it on my family - they're all fans of medical procedures and fillers and I guess it rubbed up on me. In fact, whenever I don't have make… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/03/23 08:19 PM |
| 5 | Modesty & Vanity: How to balance those two in day to day life?Completely agree on men being visual creatures. My experience on dating apps, for example, differ vastly from my friends who don't put as much thought & time into their appearance; and at my age, I don't think this is the time to hurt my chances at finding a good male. I don't have any debt, fortunately, and though I do use my credit card on occasion, they're always paid off at the end of the month. I don't think it's a problem for me financially. That being said, it is a priority - I've stayed … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/23 11:16 PM |
| 0 | I (22F) sometimes let my father get in the way of my dating life and need advice in how to fix it.I totally agree that I need to distance myself a bit, and it's been something that I've been trying to do for a couple of years now; but it's not an easy situation to remove myself from. My grandma lives with us and whenever I'm not on campus for my classes, I'm taking care of her - I'm responsible for cooking, reminding her to take her meds, etc. I don't know what would happen if I suddenly wasn't here anymore to do these things. I do agree that he shouldn't get to control my life to this exten… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/23 02:18 PM |
| 2 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.Yeah, all the comments helped me see I have to take quite a few steps back and seriously reevaluate how I date and why I did the things I did. I can see the hotel thing making me look desperate, yeah. I guess I didn't think things through all the way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 09:04 PM |
| 1 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.He could absolutely just be busy, and that's what I'm hoping for - that I didn't mess up too badly by taking the lead and being too over the top. But he's been busy before, and still made time to talk some - now, our interactions are very limited. May I ask why the hotel thing shouldn't be a surprise? I didn't want to ask him because I felt it'd put a lot of pressure on the date - I felt like if it was something I offered once I was there, and had already helped him bringing over lunch and with … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 08:42 PM |
| 1 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.Yeah... I can see how it all came across as mothering. I didn't mean it that way, but I understand. I'll take a step back and see if he's still interested, and let him/others take the lead from now on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 08:29 PM |
| 2 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I totally understand and agree with everything you said. I should've taken into consideration that it was one date, but I think between just having dealt with my family members being sick and having him be there for me while that happened, I got... a little too attached, I feel like. He is a great guy. But he's not the type to care about the things I've invested in - he likes that I love to cook and bake, but I feel like he'd rather have conversations about politics or travel or other things. I'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 07:05 PM |
| 1 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.Thank you so much for this. I think I already knew the reasons behind doing so much, but your questions helped me see things a lot more clearly. I think the biggest issue was I felt inadequate compared to him - because he's older he's traveled a lot more than I have, and he's much more financially stable than I am, and I felt like if I didn't prove my worth in helping make his life easier, he wouldn't want me. He'd notice I'm not enough. But I overdid it a lot. And I shouldn't have. I'm hoping t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 06:56 PM |
| 2 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I can definitely see how doing it all and then some can send the wrong message. I'm hoping that what has happened so far hasn't completely ruined my chances with him BUT I can totally see where I went wrong. I should've given him the opportunity to lead and be the captain I want him to be - I guess, if I'm being honest with myself, I wanted to move things faster and... well, I guess that wasn't exactly feminine or graceful of me. I'll continue working on myself. Thank you. 💗 | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.That is true. He's in a different continent, the hour difference right now makes it so it's night for me and morning for him, and I can see how this girl he met once isn't the first thing on his mind. And before this, he was getting things ready for the trip and moving. And he never canceled our future plans. But... even if it's just that he's busy, I'm assuming texting him won't make the situation any better... right? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:28 PM |
| 3 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I'll do that! I'll wait until he's back from his trip, which is when we were planning on meeting again, and see if he brings it up again or not. If he doesn't... lesson learned and I'll be less... intense/crazy moving forward. D: | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:25 PM |
| 3 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.Yeah... I can see I went too far and might have come across a little bit weird/too intense. This is my first time dating people - I've been in two relationships, both with people I already knew and already knew they liked me - so... I guess maybe I'll learn the right dose with time? But this is so hard!! I'm so happy it worked out for you!! 💗 And yeah, I guess I was so busy trying to prove I'm wifey material and just so accommodating, that I didn't think that maaaybe there's time for that and ri… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:19 PM |
| 2 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I feel like I misused the word scare, to be honest. I should've said, I know it's a lot, and I know it's a lot too soon. I guess part of me kind of expected him to see I was... doing it all and then some, and think I'm the girl of his dreams or something? But, yeah, I can see I'm trying to prove myself to him and it's probably tied to some self esteem issues. It's a work in progress. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:14 PM |
| 7 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I totally understand your advice, and I agree. Before meeting the person, I'm super confident, but once I'm in the dating stage... I can't help but feel inadequate, which made me try super hard. Thank you. 💗 | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:06 PM |
| 3 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.If one had already gone that extra mile... do you think it's worth to take a step back and maybe see if it's salvageable, or just scratch everything and move on? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I can see myself doing it... yet I can't stop. It's a mix of FOMO and trying to prove myself... and it ends up being a lot, yeah. :( | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:03 PM |
| 3 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.If I had to guess I would say he's being cautious, and my being over the top makes him act even more cautious. First date and I was clinging to his arm, saying I'll miss him, and totally expecting him to say the same. And I can see I'd scare the shit out of any man with all this... but I can't stop myself? I'm afraid of starting a conversation about this because I'm afraid I might be reading too much into it. He is busy traveling and getting this ready for the move. The distance could just be...… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 05:01 PM |
| 5 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.Thank you!! This helped a bunch, really. I was about to go down a road of self pity and kind of just give up on that match, but... yeah. It can be fixed. I'll let him take the lead and see where that goes. You're totally right. Thank you again. ❤ | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 04:55 PM |
| 9 | Should a woman go "the extra mile" for a man during the vetting phase? RPW and TRP opinions welcome.I definitely feel like I got ahead of myself a little. I think part of me felt like it wasn't too soon because we had spent so long talking, but... yeah. I think maybe I might have started this whole thing on the wrong foot. :t | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/22 04:48 PM |
| 11 | I was a “hardcore”, liberal feministThe second paragraph - exactly what I thought. In her other comments, she said he's dominant/kinky, and they're "seeing each other". Seems like he's in a pretty comfortable position: offering this idea that maybe he'll one day deem her worthy while getting easy sex from her and I'm sure from others as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/03/22 02:03 PM |
| 16 | I was a “hardcore”, liberal feministMight be a hot take but... coaching, more often than not, is a scam. The whole "alpha" male thing is something for a select number of men to push, sell and profit from others who haven't had much luck dating. The push for open relationships goes on the opposite direction of wanting an innocent, low body count younger woman. You can't have both open relationships and pure, chaste women. Which is something they seek more often than not - and have every right to. What they're seeking, consciously o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/03/22 12:50 PM |
| 8 | I was a “hardcore”, liberal feministI will say one thing - a lot of men in the "manosphere" aren't necessarily RPilled. (See the whole Jack Murphy x Sydney Watson, whose public is mainly conservative/redpilled at least to some extent, debacle) I've been in a very similar situation as you. I was a radfem before I met an ex of mine, and oh boy, how things changed. He was the most conservative, red pilled person I've ever met. He never told me he would cheat on me, or that he had the right to - and just because this person you met be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/03/22 12:39 PM |
| 1 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?I'm just really freaking glad that I'm not the only one who felt or feels like this! I never got into journaling, but will definitely give it a try. He already said me being clingy isn't an issue - but I'm assuming that if I freak out everytime he's busy, or if I just throw my feelings on him, it could potentially become a burden he doesn't (and shouldn't) want to deal with. So I can definitely see how writing things down would help! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 08:44 PM |
| 5 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?I've asked him to call, but it doesn't seem like that's his thing. He always responds to my texts, but the time it takes for him to do that is when I start overthinking the relationship, every little action, etc. I'd say it's more probable that it's just my insecurities speaking. In my last relationship, my ex used to "ghost" me for a day or two if I did something he didn't like and it always made me worry so much. I guess that I associate time not talking to him with those bad memories, which i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 07:08 PM |
| 2 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?It does get easier to handle the clinginess when I'm doing something. But after cleaning, baking, etc, there's just not much to do... and it's not anywhere close to the time he's off work I might be in need of a routine, I think? Something consistent. Maybe that'd help. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 05:38 PM |
| 2 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?I think I watched a video on this a while ago. I'll definitely look into it! Thank you! The relationship has been pretty good. We have very similar plans, and when I can't understand something or don't agree with something, we're able to talk through things. It's mainly just my fear of being abandoned, I think, and needing constant affection that I fear might get in the way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 05:36 PM |
| 1 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?I'd say that right now, my days revolve around him too. Sometimes we talk more, and then today... nothing. I realized that whenever I'm not talking to him, I get really anxious and feel like I can't really do anything BUT think about him not being there. It's a pain. I'll definitely try to do things for myself and that aren't necessarily related to him. That's a really good idea. I'll just try to keep myself busy for now and hope I wasn't ghosted for no reason at all. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 05:31 PM |
| 9 | mrs midwest yay or nayI really like her content! I've been watching her videos for over a year now and they've helped me a bunch - none of my friends really share the same desire to be a homemaker, so watching her videos was the closest thing I had to talking to a friend about that stuff. I also really like Cynthia L, That Feminine Housewife and on Instagram I also really like Bernadine Blunty, Dear Sister, and Sweet Magnolias. I also follow The Darling Academy, and she's my favorite. Her blog is actually so useful a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/22 11:32 PM |
| 9 | Is it possible to be a Red Pill Woman in a SD/SB Relationship?Maybe it wouldn't be an issue for you, but since your dynamic with them is based on sex, I'd worry that they could push you to do certain things you're not necessarily comfortable with if you move in. Say they want to bring other women home, which they can, since you're not dating; or if they want you to join, or have sex with their friends. You live in their house, you depend on them for financial support - while that is true for a stay at home wife, for example, there is love and respect betwe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/22 04:40 PM |
| 7 | I've noticed that I talk too much. How can I get used to speaking less and listening more?Rambling is my main issue!!! My ex and my best friends are very quiet people. I got used to rambling and talking a lot, which are things they like. I guess I just got used to communicating like that?? It's so freaking hard!! Is there anything that helped you to stop rambling or just... time? | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/21 01:14 AM |
| 4 | I've noticed that I talk too much. How can I get used to speaking less and listening more?I feel like my main issue is venting and rambling. I try asking questions about them, though there's definitely room for improvement and something I need to work on, but it's just... it's like my brain and mouth want to talk, and I can't shut up. Thank you! I'll definitely ask if he's been through anything similar, etc. But maybe not venting is the way to go? It's just so hard. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/21 01:12 AM |
| 3 | How do you make sure you are a good match sexually when still in the early dating stage?I agree that anyone who is filtering out people based on sexual preferences that aren't the norm might have a harder time finding a husband/wife - that being said, sex is very important and 5, 10, 15 years of not so great sex doesn't seem like a great idea at all. I feel like comparing your situation with the two women (great sex/not so great sex) isn't entirely fair. Unless the one that is great at sex is doing something that is really important to you, and things that the vanilla one would not… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/21 01:34 PM |
| 5 | How do you make sure you are a good match sexually when still in the early dating stage?I tell them my specific kinks. I did tell one person just about the submissive part and they didn't get exactly what I meant - they might think it's just you taking some of the control, etc, when in reality it's so much more. So I usually just tell them the main ones - the ones you'd miss during sex, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/21 01:19 PM |
| 22 | How do you make sure you are a good match sexually when still in the early dating stage?I'm a sub andI have a few kinks that are not extremely common or that the average/vanilla person would either not be used to or straight up dislike. In one of my relationships, I waited until the third or so date until I talked to the person I was seeing. I believe in being extremely honest and direct, and said "I want us to be able to talk about things so I feel the need to be honest with you. I understand if you feel like this is a lot too soon or if you're not into what I'm about to say, but … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/21 10:41 PM |
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