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toooldforthisnonsens Archive

View 11 posts and 398 comments by toooldforthisnonsens on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Even when I was married, I spent xmas alone. I'm not keen on all the consumerism surrounding xmas, so I always tried to tone it down in our family home. The ex, wife at the time, disagreed and would just take our son to her parents for xmas. I got used to using xmas as my time to get some things done that I wanted to get done. A week of an empty house? Sweet! I'm going to eat meals I enjoy, watch movies I enjoy, go hiking where I want, go dirt bike riding, camping in the snow, whatever. I'll nev…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 04:09 PM
6

The goal isn't to hate. The goal is to stop caring. Once you can treat them like any other random on the street, you have won.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:57 PM
12

If I told you there's a game in Vegas, where the odds of winning are 50% (divorce rate), the cost to play is $50,000 (what my divorce cost me) and the prize for winning is nothing (there's no prize for "till death do us part").........would you play? That's marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:55 PM
2

Oh, I mentioned the belt a few times. During house cleaning, I'd say "don't forget the belt in the bathroom." She thought I was asking her to pick up my belt. Joke's on her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 04:17 PM
2

/r/survivinginfidelity is a good sub for support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 01:50 PM
1

That's not how trespassing works. It differs by state, but criminal trespass requires evidence of another crime being committed. He could sue her, civil not criminal, but would have to prove damages. Also, he has to notify her of the trespass and allow her to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:46 AM
3

Reply with "no you weren't."
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:25 AM
6

One time she left her belt on the bathroom floor for a year. I refused to pick it up. I was the only one that tidied up and was tired of it. It came time to move and she finally said "you need to pack the belt you've left on the bathroom floor for a year.......I refuse to touch it." I replied "I own one belt and I wear it every day." She discovered the belt was hers and didn't speak to me for days.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:24 AM
38

Your life is what you make of it. Owning a house is overrated in my opinion. Mowing the yard, washing the driveway, fixing the roof leak.......hard pass for me. Make a plan for today, and execute. Then make a plan for the week, and execute.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 05:19 AM
2

It's hard for me to reply to this. You're perception of Thai women is skewed heavily based on some hugely incorrect generalizations. If you think the majority of Thai women are prostitutes or ladyboys, then there's not much I can say. My girlfriend has an MBA, owns her condo and car outright, has no debt, and is a VP at a multi-national drink company (that you see in every gas station in America).
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 07:07 AM
3

Look at avvo.com listings. Also google maps reviews.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 05:29 AM
9

Sorry to say, but welcome to the club. This is how it goes more often than not. They realize that you aren't going to just sign them a blank check and they go from reasonable to insane. I guarantee her lawyer, her family, her friends and her coworkers are all whispering in her ear telling her she deserves to take you to the bank. I'm willing to eat my shoe if you don't finalize this, needing a judge, and you come out very close to what you presented originally, which will be nowhere near what sh…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 12:08 PM
11

Brother......chill. You'll do fine. Be yourself, focus on listening, put your phone in your pocket and don't pull it out. Prepare some easy conversation starters. I had one lady ask me where I saw myself in 5 years. Nobody has asked me that, ever. We talked about 5 year plans the entire evening.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 09:52 AM
22

Tricking a man into being a child's father should be a felony. It's deception and emotional abuse of the worst kind. Then again, affairs are illegal in some states, but no courts punish those that break that law. Talk to your NCO or commanding officer about what you are dealing with. They will get you resources.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 05:31 AM
1

It probably is a subconscious thing. No. It was active decision making. That's what affairs are. Dozens or hundreds of active decisions. Well.....it's also weak moral character. I like to use the word, coward.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:22 PM
9

You hire a lawyer in the state where the divorce was filed. $2000/mo indefinitely. Fuck......that. I'd counter with "she keeps whichever house she wants, I keep the other, no alimony." Fight for her earning potential to be used, not her current salary.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:01 PM
2

For me it was easy. My ex-wife had an affair with my best friend. Then the "legal" system showed me how having a penis meant I was in the wrong, regardless of facts. I closed the chapter of my life that contained my ex. I don't care that it was 20 years of my life. I choose not to remember it. I don't compare anything to it. I simply choose not to think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 11:32 AM
1

Or mom's that have never been married?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 11:19 AM
2

You were monkey branching her. Cut her loose and work on being a better human.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:18 AM
2

I had zero dates in 6 months of trying all the dating apps in the US and Europe. I landed in Thailand and lined up 20 dates in the first week. I decided to stay and have been dating an amazing Thai woman for the past 8 months. Sex on the daily, sometimes more. She initiates 95% of the time. 42, MBA, zero debt, owns her condo outright, not from Isaan. I said I'd never get married again, but she needs a US passport to be able to travel with me. I travel a lot. We're moving to the US in two weeks, …
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:09 AM
1

It was something I came up with. Our finances were super simple.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 12:23 AM
6

They just seemed more chatty than others I met at the gym, clubs, events, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 04:38 PM
12

While I never had a one night stand, I found the ladies that seemed most interested in this idea were moms of children my son was in school with. Most people my age are busy with life. Kids, careers, aging parents, boring tv shows they need to rush home to watch. Tinder in Morocco and Thailand also seemed to offer a lot of options in my first hand experience.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 05:48 AM
11

I was told, after my ex dragged out a simple divorce for 3 years, costing me $50k in lawyers fees, that it's nearly impossible to get a judge to order one party to pay for the other party's lawyer. I was told I would have to prove she acted in bad faith. I guess refusing to provide her financials, as ordered by the court, wasn't enough bad faith. Ignoring that it cost me $10k to prepare my financials and deliver them, before I could ask for hers. Nevermind that the final outcome of the court was…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 04:19 AM
7

Live like a monk and if a partner enters your life, you'll be the better for it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 11:42 AM
5

Oh, I'll file a complaint with the state bar once I'm back in the US in a few weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 01:05 PM
5

My divorce is finalized. C&C only reached out to me because I completed their survey and provided horrible marks. Then I left negative reviews of them on any site I could find.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 12:44 PM
7

$40,000+ for "the easiest case I have ever seen." Ex had an affair. Ex got more than 50% of the communal assets while making the same salary as me. I also haven't seen or spoken to my son in almost a year. Court orders aren't enforceable without more cold, hard cash.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 12:00 PM
2

Being able to prove something means zero in these fake courts. It's all about feelings. The "judge's" and the victim's......I mean wife's. Victim, wife, same thing in this system.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:17 AM
6

She's monkey branching you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:14 AM
12

Bingo. My ex refused to include me in parenting decisions, as required by the courts. I had to choose to be the only real parent and constantly battle with her, or tell my son the truth of the situation and give him the tooling to start to be a young adult. He chose the free computers, cars, and no responsibility route that my ex offered. I told him to let me know when that method started to fail him and he wanted to start to be responsible. He basically told me to fuck off and I never saw or sp…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 05:05 AM
6

I'm going into the ground on fire. I'm going to have fun while I'm alive, my ex be damned. She doesn't get to live rent free in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:01 AM
3

If there was a crime, she should report it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:52 PM
43

41, married 16 years, together for 20, divorce started about three years ago, finished a few months ago. She had an affair with my best friend and then wanted 100% of our communal assets. My 16 year old son hasn't spoken to me in months. Hell, he hasn't spoken to anyone in my family in months. How did my divorce change me? It robbed me of stable financial future because I lost my home, $50k to lawyers, and I basically made it out with my small 401k and life insurance policies. I dated a woman fo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:50 PM
3

My faith in how fucked up the entire system is, makes me skeptical that it's logical enough to know that he's paying in another state.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 12:28 PM
4

Child support payments can be kicked to the federal level for collection. This means the IRS can garnish wages for CA. Fail to pay and a state can request that your passport be revoked.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 05:30 AM
4

The one truth I learned in the process of divorcing a cheating ex of 16 years was, facts don't matter in divorce or family court. It's all about the judge's feelings. Case law, actual law, facts.......mean nothing. Read a book titled The Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 05:40 AM
1

Early 40's.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 08:17 AM
0

It's not a topic of discussion that has come up. She was in a relationship for 17 years. I don't think I really care other than health/STD reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:57 AM
1

Body count? I haven't murdered anyone yet. So my body count is zero.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 03:59 AM
13

I spent the last few months digital nomading around the world. During that time, I was on Tinder and Bumble. The conversations with woman in western countries were boring. I secured no dates in months. I land in Morocco and my phone had a meltdown. Hundreds of matches. I land in the Philippines, hundreds of matches. I land in Thailand and I had to ignore the notifications from the apps there were so many. I've been dating a Thai woman since November. She has an MBA, VP of Marketing, zero debt, o…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 01:54 AM
1

Their check bounced. Not joking.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 09:52 AM
1

They're welcome to come after me. I live in another country. I have stated facts and opinions. I haven't done anything wrong and am not easily bullied.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 12:59 AM
3

Once I get the retainer back, I plan on filing a bar complaint.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 02:58 PM
2

Holy wall of text and speculative hearsay, Batman.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:56 AM
2

It's not a lie to say you have nothing to share. You truly have nothing to share with her and nothing to trust her to keep your confidence about.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 01:32 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/qq41vv/my_lack_of_religious_beliefs_was_used_against_me/ Can't make this shit up. Good luck brother. I hope you get through this process quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 12:13 PM
2

Ya, the whole "you lose all your rights at the border and within 100 miles of the border" is a whole other issue. I guess I'm thankful my ex either forgot to file for child support, or didn't care to. I've asked to pay 50% of our 16 year old son's costs for things, but the request has been ignored. Fine, works for me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 08:22 AM
2

I was asked my religion. When I answered, it was used by my ex's lawyer to tell the judge that I shouldn't be able to see my son over winter break because I'm not Christian. The judge agreed, but ultimately, after yelling at me for 45 minutes about how I should be ashamed of myself for wanting to spend winter break with my son, was given custody over winter break. There's no logic in custody court or divorce court. It's all about feelings and hugging it out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 07:52 AM
1

I was so ready to call bullshit on your story. Then I did some research. https://www.justia.com/family/child-custody-and-support/child-support/passport-denial-based-on-unpaid-child-support/ Holy shit this is insane. If you owe more than $2500, they can seize your passport. Nevermind that the right to free movement is listed in the Bill of Rights.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 07:31 AM
1

There has only been on Christmas since this happened. I sent him a gift. The day he received it he blocked me on the last form of communication I had with him.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:24 PM
3

Dig deep, be the man and father they need you to be. I hate this phrase. I won't get into specifics, but I deal with life and death decisions on the regular. I'm put in situations that would cause most people to crumble. I have plenty of intestinal fortitude. I have plenty of self-sacrifice. "Digging deep" is not a solution for most problems. And yet, I still decided to stop fighting to see my son. I won 50/50 through court, but he decided to spend 100% with his mom. He blocked me on all social …
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 12:28 PM
5

After a three year struggle through a horrible divorce. Parental alienation. My son refusing to speak to me. I gave up. My parents called me one day and said "if you don't go live your life, you're going to end up with a gun in your mouth." I'm not someone known for quitting anything. I hold strong to a personal belief that honor and courage are key traits all people should have. My parents were telling me I'm worth more to my son if I'm happy and healthy, but possibly not as presence in his lif…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 12:26 PM
3

As part of our finances exchange during divorce, we were both require to provide 5 years of bank statements. We were also required to provide invoices from our lawyers. Something I noted that was odd was that my ex's bank statements never showed payments to her lawyer. Another odd thing I noticed was that the invoices from her lawyer would be marked paid, but no transaction information was provided. She was being provided free representation. I assume due to my ex's employment with a females-onl…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 12:20 PM
9

Family court is like participating on Whose Line is it Anyways? The rules are made up and the points don't matter. One of my life goals is to meet a family court "judge" at a social event so I can be as rude as possible to them for wrecking so many men's futures.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 07:15 AM
6

Two happy homes are better than one unhappy home.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 03:13 AM
12

I've only been divorced for a few months, but haven't heard from her once. Oh.....that's because I blocked her and moved on. She can use the court app to communicate about our son, but never does.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 12:31 AM
2

Your picker is broken. I'm talking about the future too.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 12:25 AM
-1

Your questions make no sense.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 12:22 AM
16

I refuse to allow my ex's character flaws to own my future. She's not living rent free in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 12:12 AM
1

There's a WhatsApp group? Can I be added too, please?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 12:06 AM
3

File the paperwork yourself. She can then either lawyer up, or sign. If she lawyers up, then you lawyer up as well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 12:09 PM
3

Being hammered by the judge potentially had nothing to do with the adultery. Statements like "no equity from the home" don't mean much because there are so many variables that are considered in the financial divorce process. I'm just saying, don't get your hopes up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 06:47 AM
6

Don't believe that anything related to living in an at-fault state will impact your case. When you hire a lawyer, they will pretend that it will. They are just selling you a load of bullshit. Source: lived in an at-fault state, ex-wife had an affair, I had documentation to prove it, never once in 3 years of the divorce process was it mentioned in "court" regardless of me continually telling my lawyer to make it the primary point of any legal proceedings. At-fault laws are designed to protect fem…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 06:39 AM
15

I say call her bluff about the bar. If she stops paying her half, call the lender and explain the situation and ask if they have any assistance, maybe deferment. I'd rather sleep in a tent in a city park than stay one extra day in a house with someone that is as toxic as your ex. Make an exit plan and execute. Save yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:47 AM
1

How much damage are you willing to allow her to do to your attempts to secure you financial future? One penny spent in secret (I'm not talking about spending money on gifts that should be secret, or whatever) is one penny too much for me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:45 AM
2

I recently read this interesting thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/106rki1/dopamine_and_how_scheduled_boredom_has_helped_me/
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 04:51 AM
16

I've only had it happen once. The woman I was with basically said "challenge accepted" and it turned into a very long night of.......problem solving. Find the right person and, unless you have something physically/chemically wrong, you'll be good to go.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 04:43 AM
14

My analogy about marriage is relatively similar. If I told you there was a game in Las Vegas, where the odds of "winning" were 50% (divorce rate in the US, roughly), it cost $50,000 to play (cost of my divorce after ex had an affair), and the prize for winning was nothing (nobody gives out ribbons for surviving the shitty social construct of marriage)..........would you play?
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 04:31 AM
2

So the lesson here is, regardless of how much of an asset you believe yourself to be for an organization, calling your boss a fat fucking piece of shit in a company meeting is not a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:24 AM
1

I took that branch from negative 2 million to 8mil in the green. Green? You mean black? In accounting, red is used to indicate negative and black is used to indicate positive.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:11 AM
84

You don't want her to come back. You want a version of her, that no longer exists, to return to you. Brother, get yourself into therapy if you aren't already. Then plot a course to escape her vortex.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:05 AM
10

Hire a lawyer. This will send her the signal that you are serious. Stop communicating with her. Use your lawyer. She's making adult decisions, now she gets the adult consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:04 AM
3

You haven't given us much to go on, but I hope you pull through. Better times ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:03 AM
9

My ex of 20 years had an affair with my best friend. A year after our separation started, my therapist told me it was time to start dating. She warned me that women our age won't pussyfoot around like when I was 18 and started dating my ex. My therapist was right. The first date I went on led to the date coming back to my place, which led to sex. tl;dr it took me a year.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:02 AM
1

Ping me if you need a wingman in Bangkok.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:17 PM
1

Hey hey. Come join me in Bangkok!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:16 PM
1

Living like a king in Thailand.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:15 PM
5

Grey rock method. Google it. Ignore anything she does or says that is not directly related to parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 11:48 AM
3

Your future is what you make of it. Ex of 16 years had a months-long affair with my best friend. Almost 3 years in the divorce process. Cost me $50k just to get an even split. I've never borrowed money from anyone, but had to borrow from my mom to pay my lawyer. The only other negative is that my 16 year old hasn't spoken to me since July. The positives? Holy shit, I'd be here all day talking. Finally got to utilize my 20 years of work-from-home experience and unlimited PTO to see the world. I l…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 10:23 AM
11

I hold tight to the knowledge that throughout the divorce process, I was the only person that never faltered from taking the high road. When I lay my head down at night, I know I acted with honor and respect.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 02:52 AM
7

Don't rely on a prenup. Family/divorce courts aren't based in law and order or any form of sanity. The judge can throw out a prenup for basically no reason. Then the onus is on you (read: paying your lawyer) to fight to enforce the prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 07:34 AM
1

The way it will work is that the values of everything are entered into a "pool" of communal assets and debts. Then each party is "paid" out of that pool. She'll have to buy you out of the house is she wants to keep it. My response is "in general" and may not be how your state operates. If you want to sell and she wants to keep it, be prepared for a fight over the value of the home. Even with an appraisal, from an appraiser my ex picked, I still have to fight to get the value correct in the divor…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 07:31 AM
8

File for divorce. Don't be her personal ATM.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:35 AM
8

I'm going to echo /u/Gattsama and their advice "live it up in SE Asia, Central or South America where the dollar goes further." If I knew I had a terminal diagnosis, I would liquidate all my assets and hit the road. I hit the road in June and ended up in Thailand after traveling through a dozen other countries. The dollar goes insanely far here. Be honest with your children about what is going on. Offer to let them join you on some of the adventure. Life is too short to not get out there and see…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 06:08 AM
1

Sounds like it's time to file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 03:04 AM
19

She thought the grass was greener on the other side. The real problem is that she forgot to water her lawn.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 11:58 AM
3

Hell ya brother! I've been living out of a 40L backpack for months now. Material possessions are less important than your freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 04:44 AM
3

At some point in the future she will want to be nice..... prepare. Haha. Not a fucking chance in hell. I'd rather eat a flaming pile of donkey shit than be cordial with her. People have asked me why I can't at least be friendly to her. If she raped me, would you be asking me to be friendly with her? if she stole $1,000,000 from me, would you be asking me to be friendly with her? She stole 20 years of my life and over 6 figures in cash. The emotional stress and abuse from her affair makes her cri…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 04:00 AM
2

Everyone will handle the situation differently. I raised my son to be a teammate. I feel like we were closer than most kids and their parents. Keep the lines of communication open, let them know you'll always be willing to listen, and be ready to move heaven and earth when they need it. Other than that, you'll be sitting on the sidelines a lot, watching a lot of fires burn. Things that you know how to fix, but aren't allowed to be involved.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 07:24 AM
3

There are no rules in divorce "court." Insanity rules the day.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 03:48 AM
2

Speak with a lawyer. My ex, 2 years after we had physically and financially separated, tried to move our "date of separation" from early 2020 to late 2022. Her salary took a hit in that time and my salary increased. I spent $10k in legal fees forcing that date of separation to stay where it was supposed to be, in 2020.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 02:27 AM
13

My ex was a miserable cunt during our divorce. She stalled, missed deadlines, provided faulty documentation, violated court orders, etc. My lawyer insisted that in order to sue for lawyer fees, I would have to prove that my ex "acted in bad faith." When I asked for a definition of bad faith and examples of bad faith, my lawyer changed his response to me to be "because you both have the same salaries, no judge will issue attorneys fees to you." This translated, for me, to "the system is fucked, n…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 02:17 AM
2

I'm American and ended up in Thailand. No complaints.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 11:55 PM
9

Ya, and I tried to discuss this with my son, as an adult. Unfortunately, he's still only 16, and the promise of a new car from his grandparents overruled good judgment.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:49 PM
9

What? No, I spent all that money for 50/50. She didn't even attempt to negotiate. You realize that once the other party hires a lawyer, the fight isn't over 5%. It's over 100%. And why am I at fault for believing in equality?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:47 PM
14

Thanks. I moved 2000 miles away from my parents when I was 17 and we didn't talk for years. Now my parents are my best friends and we talk every day. I know he'll be back, it's just a hard pill to swallow when I'm not the one that tore the family apart.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 11:58 AM
7

Sounds like the wife likes the idea of extra money, but doesn't like the effort and sacrifice that would cost her personally.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 09:44 PM
1

Your family are who you choose, not blood. Chostoe to remove people from your family if they are not supportive of you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 07:34 PM
1

I'm not making him choose sides. I'm making him realize that when he makes decisions, in this case without consulting me, that there are consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 10:45 AM
1

No, but he's 16. I can't force him to communicate.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 10:37 AM
1

I haven't heard from him since he left. That was 6 hours ago. If he's anything like me, I won't hear from him for months. Maybe years.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 02:25 AM
1

I don't understand why he has to be on your policy though. Is that because he lived with you, or is there some other weird requirement? The insurance person said "all family members that are licensed, that live in the same house as you, must be listed on your policy."
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 02:06 AM
1

I totally agree with you and am prepared to have that conversation when he's ready to talk. I'm not an angry or quick to react person. He's only ever seen me angry once, and that was when I caught him in a lie about getting in trouble at school.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 02:05 AM
1

I moved out and moved 2000 miles away from my parents when I was 17. I've lived on my own ever since. My folks are my best friends. I talk to them daily.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 02:04 AM
1

If you are mechanically inclined and have the space + tools I’d suggest telling your son that you’ll buy a junker that you both can restore together to be his car, but he’ll need to get a job to contribute financially. He knows I have a junker lined up. I got it all sorted and was super crushed when he told me he didn't want to get a license.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 02:03 AM
1

No. My ex and I make the same amounts and she lost that legal battle.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:44 AM
1

This is my feeling as well. He didn't know what my rules would be, but knew I would have rules. I'm the parent with rules and consequences. My ex is the one that buys his affection.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:39 AM
1

I'm curious why you would ask him if he wants it if you didn't want him having it. I don't care that he has it. I care that he got it without understanding what my requirements would be. I.e. that he work and pay for insurance. I'm curious as to why you heard that he got it and blamed him without even knowing if his mom pressured him to get out. He is more than capable of texting or calling me to let me know about the situation. Instead, he let his mom do it, after he had the permit. Nobody stop…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:36 AM
1

I asked him if he wanted to learn to drive. He said no. If he had said yes, I would have said "great, let's get started learning, but first, you need to understand that I expect you to work and pay for insurance." I’m not surprised you don’t see your kid over holidays. This is an extremely hurtful thing to say. I spent all but 2 holidays alone because my ex wanted to see her family more than she wanted to do things with me. If that makes me the asshole, I guess there's not much I can say.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:33 AM
1

Any actionable feedback?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:27 AM
1

I haven't cut communication. I called him and left a message and said that when he was ready to talk about the situation, I would be ready to listen.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:27 AM
1

Don’t like teaching required life skills? Too damn bad. You ignored the part where I asked him for months if he wanted to learn to drive. Your kid will pick your mom every time and you are going to find yourself wondering why nobody comes to Christmas anymore after your kid turns 18. I've spent two Christmas with him in 16 years. What's your point? He chooses to spend it with my ex's parents.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:25 AM
9

Still regret not joining.
/r/MensRights02/05/22 04:41 AM
3

What are you even talking about?
/r/MensRights29/04/22 01:58 PM
4

You realize you're the subject of that sentence. Right?
/r/MensRights29/04/22 01:38 PM
1

They have multiple versions of the ad. I probably linked the wrong one, but it's the correct company.
/r/MensRights29/04/22 10:35 AM
14

Your neighbor is your part-time lover? Why only part-time?
/r/MensRights29/04/22 04:15 AM
1

I'm not sure what your point is. I've lived outside of the US almost as much as I've lived in the US. I wasn't saying people need to be talking all the time. I was saying when people aren't shoveling food into their mouths they are on their phones actively avoiding the people they are at the table with. I think maybe you should learn to generalize less.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 05:26 PM
11

I am treating divorce as if it were a business being dissolved. Nothing emotional about it. I was a business partner with 50% ownership.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 10:09 AM
4

I was called a horrible father because I couldn't cite the grades my son received on days randomly selected by the judge. Then there's this: https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/qq41vv/my_lack_of_religious_beliefs_was_used_against_me
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 01:20 AM
23

Don't forget. She also wants an ATM. Don't be an ATM.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 09:38 PM
21

Within an hour or so of finding out about the affair, I had spoken with both my parents. I was asking my dad for advice about some part of the situation, and he asked me "what's your goal?" That question has stuck with me and I ask myself it all the time. So when I was thinking about how to communicate with my best friend, I asked myself, what's the goal. There was no goal. To show him how much he hurt me? He obviously doesn't give a fuck. So the goal was moot.
/r/MensRights27/04/22 08:35 PM
26

I haven't spoken to him since the second I found out.
/r/MensRights27/04/22 04:32 PM
22

US. Here's the ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvYGO4o334I
/r/MensRights27/04/22 04:12 PM
26

Ya, as soon as I discovered her affair, I stopped eating anything in the house until I could get moved out.
/r/MensRights27/04/22 03:37 PM
50

She wasn't emotionally abusing me. We were very happily married right up until she slipped and fell on my best friend's dick......multiple times.....over a 4 month period. She had an exit affair. I suspect now because she wasn't able to poison me to death.
/r/MensRights27/04/22 03:37 PM
112

I have enough whole life insurance that when I die, my son becomes a millionaire (don't worry, it's all managed by a financial advisor and trust). I'm 99% sure my ex was poisoning me somehow because of my policies. Over the course of the last few years of the marriage, I had some really odd health issues that were progressively getting worse. As soon as I moved out, they stopped and never recurred again. There was food in the house that only I ate and I'm convinced something was going on with it…
/r/MensRights27/04/22 02:56 PM
9

I wouldn't continue the relationship. Fairly sure this is illegal? It's immoral at best.
/r/MensRights27/04/22 03:05 AM
7

You have family trusts but can't afford an accountant? I had to suck it up, pay for the financial audit at $300/hr with the hope that I can sue her for legal fees afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 07:21 PM
3

My 15 year old son is already getting groomed for this type of bullshit. His mom said in a text message to him the other day "I can't wait until you invent something amazing so you can pay for my nail appointments for life." He showed me the text and my only response was "I'm glad her nail appointments are no longer my problem. They don't have to be yours either if you chose for them not to be."
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 07:11 PM
6

OK, I understand she earns money and does have the right to help her family of origin but looking at the above sums, it is outright foolish and I have come to understand she has no interest in securing our children's future. Also recognize, having consulted an attorney, her spending is 'community property waste.' 100% this. If you are still married and cohabitating, she is spending communal assets. She doesn't get to hide where the $10k from her 401k went. It's just as much your 401k as it is he…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 07:10 PM
1

I don't know whether a term 'menists' has been coined yet, so I will refering to the men's side by 'Men's Rights' I think the correct term, if basing it off feminist, would me malinist?
/r/MensRights26/04/22 07:07 PM
5

I'm kind of on the other side. I'm a dad of a 15 year old son that recently decided to not return to his mother's for our week on, week off custody. The best I can tell you is, try to understand (without pestering the shit out of the kid), why the kid feels the way they do. Listen. Stop. Read what I wrote. Listen. Don't talk, don't defend your actions, don't present excuses. Just listen. If the kid won't talk to you, then just reiterate that you will be there, ready to listen, whenever they are …
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 06:51 PM
1

Unfortunately, you missed the low interest boat by a few months. Rates have jumped in the last month, so while refinancing is an option, the rates aren't optimal. I don't understand this: I have close to $200k I'm equity, of we sell. If I pay her to leave then it's $85k to her. I ideally I would pay her off live in the house for 6 months to a year and then sell and make back most of the lost equity. How do you gain $85k in equity in 6 months? Either way, if you have cash, get an appraisal, buy h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 06:40 PM
4

What is HVM, LVM and HVW?
/r/MensRights26/04/22 11:08 AM
4

Ffffffrrrreeeeeeeddddooooommmmm
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 10:13 AM
3

In 2020, I interviewed over 100 people for senior dev jobs. Not once did I pull a criminal background check. And even if I had, I wouldn't be in a position to judge because my record was nothing to write home about. I was VP of Technology.
/r/MensRights26/04/22 10:11 AM
8

Nah dude, you have to sit down before sex and flowchart it out 100%. I bought one of them pocket projectors so I can put the flowchart on the wall for quick reference mid insertion. /s
/r/MensRights26/04/22 03:09 AM
6

Stop stop. You're in my safe place! I don't like the things you say, so I feel unsafe.
/r/MensRights25/04/22 09:34 PM
6

My latest hobby is watching couples eat at restaurants. Any second they aren't shoveling food into their mouths, they are head down staring at their phones. It's painful.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 01:05 PM
4

I'm going to be a little bit of a contrarian to what others have said. I didn't lose married male friends after my separation from my ex because I was single. What I did notice is that I have a lot more time now for hobbies than a married person does. I get texts from buddies at 5pm on Thursday asking if I want to grab a drink at 6pm. Hell ya I do, I'll be right there. I have a couple married friends that go on week long trips with me without their wives. Good friends, are good friends and will …
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 01:01 PM
27

Suggestion has been thrown put that we use the same lawyer. Whomever suggested this is a domestic terrorist. I asked about 50/50 custody and she was opposed. You need a lawyer yesterday. I don’t really care about the house or things, just care that I have enough to start over and that I have enough opportunity to be the main male influence in my boys lives. I guarantee you'll be back here in 6 months with a completely changed mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 11:24 AM
19

It doesn't seem like it now, but you will be OK. You'll look back at this in a year and realize you should have thanked her and been elated.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 08:28 AM
12

The vibe is discussing and supporting equal rights for all. Personally, I'm here to vent and get support about how poorly I've been treated in family and divorce court because I have a penis, or am lacking a vagina, or both I guess.
/r/MensRights24/04/22 10:52 PM
2

IANAL but this is assault.
/r/MensRights24/04/22 07:55 PM
3

If the roles were reversed, I feel like men would be fighting for this right too, as it is something that would be out of our control in that scenario. You feel wrong. I know if roles were reversed I would never expect to be treated differently because of my race, creed, age, gender....etc.
/r/MensRights23/04/22 09:28 PM
10

Imagine not being comfortable enough in society that you're uncomfortable when someone looks at you. Oh, the horror.
/r/MensRights23/04/22 12:03 AM
10

Please define "staring at women so sexually." I, for one, do not ever want to be accused of this so I would like very clearly defined rules. No sarcasm.
/r/MensRights23/04/22 12:02 AM
57

I'm missing half my meniscus disk. Do I get pain vacation? How in the hell is this idea even remotely considered equality. They are giving extra benefits to people based on sex.
/r/MensRights22/04/22 11:58 PM
10

I meant biased against, not biased in favor of.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 11:27 PM
19

family court is biased towards anyone with a weiner. family court doesn't have the kids' best interest at heart, the court is designed to make money for lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 09:36 PM
1

Your daughter is young. When she gets older, she might not tell you, but internally she'll be thanking you daily for fighting the good fight.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 09:29 PM
2

I thought reddit had rules against banning people simply because they participate in another sub.
/r/MensRights21/04/22 11:40 AM
2

It's the only comment on that thread...... Did you read it?
/r/MensRights21/04/22 11:19 AM
1

In general, Italians operate more in the "gray." This means more personal freedom and less impact on their personal lives from bureaucracy.
/r/MensRights20/04/22 01:00 PM
7

I have lived in both Italy and America. While, I don't have experience with family/divorce court in Italy, I do have experience with legal systems in both countries. I much preferred Italy over the US. I miss how Italy operated. I lived there for 5 years, and despite having free annual flights to the US, I never used them.
/r/MensRights20/04/22 11:58 AM
2

My ex of 20 years taught me that nobody can be trusted completely.
/r/MensRights20/04/22 11:03 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/u7jnds/she_got_the_goldmine_i_got_the_shaft_they_split
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 10:51 AM
4

So if you married someone lacking empathy, you're fucked. Dozens of behavioural and mental conditions preclude people from being empathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 09:36 AM
2

New Mexico, Utah or Colorado. I haven't decided yet.
/r/MensRights20/04/22 09:15 AM
1

How is that relevant? She's my age.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 09:01 PM
5

This does nothing to defend against common law marriage and then assumption of communal assets.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 08:32 PM
1

Because......as I've said twice.....I'm moving 2000 miles away.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 08:08 PM
1

Hard to allow her to come over for a night when I'm moving 2000 miles away, which was the reason for this post.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 08:06 PM
18

Because, as my post stated, I'm moving 2000 miles away.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 06:42 PM
2

I'm moving to the other side of the country. She's wanting to come along. She can't afford the move on her own. I'm not captain save-a-hoe, but do want to explore all options.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 04:38 PM
2

How does that help me protect my assets from "divorce?" And why in the world would anyone recommend taking a 30 year over a 15 year? It makes no sense.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 03:50 PM
2

IANAL, but I don't think you're protecting finances by cashing out equity on a home on a regular basis. The other person living with you is going to expect 50% on the cash-outs, right? And even if they don't at the time, they'll just argue at the end of the relationship that they were never paid from the cash-outs and that you owe them. You aren't protecting yourself, in my opinion, you're just moving money around with the same amount of risk (to "divorce").
/r/MensRights19/04/22 03:42 PM
6

As someone that lived abroad for 9 years, had the help of an immigration lawyer, and was still unable to legally immigrate to the host nation that I was living in.........people that say "if you don't like it here, leave" don't know what they are talking about.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 03:35 PM
5

I've been thinking of buying a duplex or something with a mother-in-law suite.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 03:29 PM
-4

So how do people stop roommates from taking all their assets in a "divorce?"
/r/MensRights19/04/22 03:14 PM
-5

And I'm wondering if you can have nice cohabitation without legal entanglements.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 03:00 PM
4

If you buy a home, make sure that it is mortgaged (take the 30 year, not the 15). As the equity builds, cash out refinance, so that there is always very little equity in the house. Holy shit this is scary advice. I think I'd rather do what I've always done, take the 15 year mortgage, pay it off in 6 years and then put my cash in investments.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 02:52 PM
13

Hmmm, the studio idea is interesting. I've worked from home for 15 years and one of my requirements of anywhere I live is having a dedicated office space with a door that I can shut. Maybe I'll rent a studio on the cheap and put my office in it and claim it as my main residence.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 02:50 PM
17

I don't plan on being a disgruntled hermit the rest of my life. I think there can be a fair middle ground where cohabitation exists without putting my finances at risk.
/r/MensRights19/04/22 02:36 PM
5

Sounds like it's time to have some self-respect and leave.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 07:54 AM
13

STBXW had an affair. I should have divorced her years earlier though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 07:48 AM
1

I'm sorry that's something you are dealing with. You're right, there are always two sides of the story and I try to be extremely impartial when providing my son guidance.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 04:19 PM
1

I watched the first 40 minutes of the mom being a total cunt. Asking the kid questions and then when he starts to answer, she just mows over him with more bullshit. I skipped to the cops arriving. I'm glad the first cop was calm and the second cop cleared up the idea that dad and son were free to go. This father and son are my heroes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:38 PM
2

Holy.....fucking......hell. This could be my son and that could be his mom. That lady is fucking delusional. The guilt trips and manipulation were intense. Imagine the courage it takes for a 14 year old boy to stand up for himself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 01:58 PM
1

Ya, I don't engage with her. I haven't spoken with her in 15 years. My son is capable of making the decision to block her, but I don't think he's at that point yet, and I won't encourage him either way. Ya, the courts won't punish him. My lawyer has been clear about that. I have GPS tracking that shows that I drove him to her house at the time of custody exchange, sat down the block for a minute, than drove home. I attempted to facilitate the custody exchange.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 01:54 PM
3

I've been shocked by how informal all my interactions in court so far have been. The mediators and hearing officers look like they're one foot out the door to a beach vacation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 11:23 AM
2

I follow the rule, you can always dress up, never dress down. Suit will be my choice when the day comes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 10:34 AM
1

He doesn't know about the affair. What led you to believe otherwise?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:36 AM
1

18 is when PA considers someone to be an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:19 AM
4

No, AP moved to another state without saying goodbye.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:15 AM
2

Nope. I have to sue for custody, a second time, and that's when he's brought in.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 10:06 PM
4

Which is why I want him to go to therapy. I want an independent, professional third party taking a look at the situations that he deals with. Both in my home and in his mom's.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 09:33 PM
2

PA is a 50/50 state, no exceptions unless a parent is a drug dealer, rapist or murderer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 09:09 PM
4

I am not allowed to keep my son from seeing his mother, and I must make him available to speak with her on the phone. Outside of that, my lawyer assures me that I'm not required to force a 15 year old to return to his mother. I won't risk my relationship with my son by forcing him to visit his mother.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 07:57 PM
3

In PA, it's 50/50 unless a parent is a drug dealer, murderer or rapist.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:42 PM
2

The courts have not shown any interest in hearing from my son. I have repeatedly asked that my son have input in the process. Our custody agreement is already finalized. My STBXW fought against allowing my son to be heard because she knew it wouldn't go well for her. Therapy, I'm making calls today to get him started down that path. He didn't want to do it, but I told him it's just an hour of him venting to a 3rd party and I think he will enjoy it. He's onboard for now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:42 PM
3

I spend a lot of time placing myself in his mother's shoes so that the guidance I give him is as impartial as possible. It's hard because if he didn't want to come stay with me, I would be heartbroken, which I'm sure his mom is. But she is the one that continually makes decisions that are only for her benefit. I tell him that the best he can do is be honest with his mom and watch her actions, not her words. If her actions show she listened, then he knows they can work on their relationship. If s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 05:45 PM
3

Hey brother, feel free to message me and we can shoot the shit. We've all been where you are now. You can get through this. I'll be a random internet stranger that you can vent to.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 05:16 PM
29

100% of males should realize there's 0% to be gained by letting an antiquated sexist kangaroo court have authority over their personal lives.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 02:30 AM
2

I vote ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 04:02 AM
1

What type of school requires a kid to have a passport to attend?
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 03:56 AM
13

Some branches have changed to having the same fitness tests for both genders.
/r/MensRights11/04/22 03:40 AM
6

Grunts, if they really are 0311, need to all operate as needed, and expected, like a well oiled machine. This required drilled muscle memory. And the more of that. And then more.
/r/MensRights11/04/22 03:38 AM
0

Nobody is defending anything. Stop strawmaning me.
/r/MensRights10/04/22 10:28 PM
0

I don't think literally means what you think it means.
/r/MensRights10/04/22 06:13 PM
27

No, it's a gender neutral issue.
/r/MensRights10/04/22 01:43 PM
30

How is this related to mens rights?
/r/MensRights10/04/22 01:36 PM
5

OK fascist.
/r/MensRights09/04/22 01:39 PM
3

Only tried KY Duration.
/r/MensRights09/04/22 01:11 PM
15

That's like saying "I don't pay income tax because I disagree with the laws." You don't get to not abide by the laws you disagree with. If you want harsher punishments for crimes, run for public office and get the laws changed.
/r/MensRights09/04/22 12:25 PM
42

You don't see it as an ethics violation for a person to abuse their authority and decide they are above the law?
/r/MensRights09/04/22 11:54 AM
14

Time for some real talk. I'm an uncircumcised 40M and was with my ex for 20 years. From 19 to 39. It took a very long time in that relationship for me to get to the point that I wasn't a 1 minute man. When I started dating, I knew it would be a problem. I did a ton of research and settled on trying a spray from KY called Duration. I experimented with the number of sprays, length of time between application and intercourse/masturbation. I got it fairly well dialed in. I used it for a few dates, t…
/r/MensRights09/04/22 11:49 AM
15

If the accused were removed prior to conviction, they would never ever live that false accusation down. Hence innocent until proven guilty. I think it's a horrible idea to jump to conclusions. It has the potential to ruin lives.
/r/MensRights08/04/22 01:56 PM
25

I don't understand why this involves the school at all. It happened off campus and didn't involve school employees?
/r/MensRights08/04/22 12:57 PM
2

Doesn't even matter if you have it recorded or in writing. My STBXW's lawyer has repeatedly gotten this type of evidence ignored by the "court." Nobody in this fucked up system cares about facts, evidence or lies.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 12:22 PM
2

It's worse than that. You're signing yourself up for unlimited financial liability which is controlled and dictated by a kangaroo "court." There is no jury of your peers, or blind justice, there are just asshole want-to-be "judges" and their preconceived notions of what society should look like.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 12:21 PM
6

That was part of the discussion. Trust me, I came loaded for bear.
/r/MensRights06/04/22 11:58 AM
6

Didn't circumcise. Loved every minute of the debate with my dense, southern, ex MIL. The look of shock when I told her that her daughter didn't seem to mind intact weiners was priceless.
/r/MensRights06/04/22 10:52 AM
1

Username checks out.
/r/MensRights06/04/22 03:43 AM
11

You've been gone an hour. That's a hell of a lot of "research."
/r/MensRights06/04/22 03:41 AM
1

Ah, ya, 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 08:36 PM
28

Apparently not, as evidenced by the article.
/r/MensRights30/03/22 02:44 AM
2

I don't budge on my morals simply because she might act insane. She's committed tax fraud. It needs to be addressed by the IRS, courts or something.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 07:54 PM
1

I've never heard of this form. I will bring it up with my lawyer when we speak.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 04:05 PM
1

She claimed him in 2021 even though I had more overnights and an agreement stating that I would get odd numbered years. Pretty sure we both shouldn't be claiming him in 2021, my year.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 04:03 PM
1

She's been making "honest mistakes" repeatedly, over and over, for the last 2 years, without consequence. She's a 40 year old adult, VP in her org, these aren't mistakes, and the court is a asshat for claiming otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 02:42 PM
3

She got child tax cash in 2020 (her year) and again in 2021 (my year). There's no whoopsie about it. I can see that her tax withholdings were "married and head of household." Neither of which are true in 2021.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 01:22 PM
2

I hate tax fraud more than Uncle Sam. We both claimed him and both got the child tax stuff in 2021, my year. My lawyer and I will discuss it all next week.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 12:07 PM
3

Why hide the information you're presenting behind societal constructs of sexual identity?
/r/MensRights10/03/22 12:31 AM
1

You should look up false dichotomy arguments. They are very unbecoming.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 07:09 PM
1

You should research strawman arguments. They are very unbecoming.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 12:46 PM
0

Works for me. I can piss into a toilet just as easily as a urinal.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 12:42 PM
3

Not every human needs tampons in public bathrooms. Every human needs toilet paper. So you're asking society to treat women special simply because they're female? Doesn't seem like equal treatment for all. It's almost as if humans are all different and that trying to treat everyone as being 100% physically equal has some pitfalls.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 12:09 PM
5

Says the person that is incapable of engaging in meaningful conversation.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 11:56 AM
4

You realize that you could have taken this opportunity to educate yourself on how to properly use literally in your vernacular. Instead, you were an asshole.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 11:51 AM
1

https://mwi.usma.edu/with-equal-opportunity-comes-equal-responsibility-lowering-fitness-standards-to-accommodate-women-will-hurt-the-army-and-women/ Some branches of the US military have adopted gender neutral physical fitness requirements.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 11:49 AM
6

I don't think literally means what you think it means.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 11:45 AM
5

I was with my ex for 20 years before she had her affair with my best friend. I leaned in hard on my hobbies and work. I hit the gym three times a week, I pack every weekend with crap to do, I focus on rebuilding friendships that I let dwindle.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 11:43 AM
11

WTF is the point of those?
/r/MensRights09/03/22 01:04 AM
3

She made thousands of active, conscience decisions. Now let her pay the consequences. Decisions and consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 12:45 PM
2

Monday after school. Can't vote because I'm using Reddit Is Fun.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 11:46 AM
3

She pays the bills so I don't complain.
/r/MensRights06/03/22 12:22 AM
60

Joined the company a week after learning about my ex's affair. This job and company saved my life.
/r/MensRights05/03/22 04:20 PM
20

Unfortunately, no. Are you a PHP dev by chance?
/r/MensRights05/03/22 03:46 PM
91

9 to 5, no weekends, 10 company holidays. We're a SaaS company. Profit share, 5% match 401k fully vested day one of employment, full medical/dental/eye/short/long term, maternity/paternity leave. Salary is ultra competitive. I left a VP position to join this org as a lowly programmer.
/r/MensRights05/03/22 02:42 PM
158

We have unlimited PTO. We also require people to take at least 15 days off a year. If they don't, the rest of the company stops sending them work, emails, etc until they take the time off. I was the one that pitched the policy to the owner. In my first year of employment, I took 35 days. Anyone taking less than me, I harass the shit out of.
/r/MensRights05/03/22 02:04 PM
1

life coach coworker And just like that, I'm out. Nobody should be taking advice from a part-time, self-described "life coach."
/r/MensRights05/03/22 01:58 PM
19

When my ex was pregnant with our son, my mother-in-law came to town to visit. She corned my wife (at the time) and asked if her and I had discussed circumcision. We had, and my ex told her mother that we weren't considering it. My ex-MIL freaked out. She's a lady from the deep south, pretends to be Christian, and was shocked that my ex felt differently about chopping off the tip of dicks. They went back and forth for a bit before my ex asked me to chime in. Buckle up. Me: We discussed the situat…
/r/MensRights04/03/22 05:08 PM
18

Biggest fight I ever had with my ex MIL was about my son's weiner. I had to introduce my weiner as evidence before she would shut her mouth.
/r/MensRights04/03/22 11:32 AM
3

Totally fair. I think 6 is a little young for them to be included in the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 07:22 PM
1

/r/gatekeeping is the sub you're looking for.
/r/MensRights03/03/22 11:05 AM
7

How old is your kid? Both my lawyer and my therapist told me not to lie to my kid in order to protect his image of his mom. He was 14 when I told him the truth about what his mom had done. I delivered the information with no emotion or malice. Just straight facts. Best decision I've ever made. He now has the tooling to make informed decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 11:01 AM
34

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Just ignore her and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 11:29 AM
10

Go on....
/r/MensRights01/03/22 12:01 PM
2

You haven't moved on. You're still asking her out on dates.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:05 PM
1

That scene really shook me. I can't put my finger on why.
/r/MensRights25/02/22 11:49 AM
2

The lack of consequences for perjury in family "court" makes my blood boil. Either it's a court of law and lying is punished or it's not a court of law and I shouldn't be forced to participate.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 11:47 AM
4

Then it's time to move on. The kids don't benefit from this awkward shared activity.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 11:29 AM
10

You have everything to lose, so I'm glad you have a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 11:26 AM
2

This......this is how you wake up in a bathtub missing a kidney.
/r/MensRights23/02/22 01:20 PM
4

Never fuck with a dude that wears socks with flip flops.
/r/MensRights18/02/22 01:00 PM
4

Cool story, donkey dick breath.
/r/MensRights18/02/22 12:46 PM
4

I hate when people think it's acceptable to invent pet names for people, like "honey." I think my pet name for you will be donkey dick breath.
/r/MensRights18/02/22 12:45 PM
6

Be honest with them. They can sense when you are lying.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 10:31 AM
2

This conversation start may have been used a few times. When I was refreshing my wardrobe after my ex-wife had an affair, I leaned heavily on being colorblind in clothing stores and furniture stores.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 08:54 PM
2

Riiiiiight.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 12:02 PM
2

Are these moms single? Asking for a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 12:01 PM
2

Neither am I. Did you actually read what I wrote?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 12:00 PM
2

Weird, my ex had penis envy, but in a totally different way. She envied my best friend's penis.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 10:12 AM
4

You're living in a fantasy land.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 10:09 AM
0

Not if you both make the same. Source: live in an at fault state, $30k into divorce fees, lawyer says to stop mentioning at fault because it's moot.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 10:08 AM
3

It's a pointless social construct at this point. I doubt I'll ever even cohabitate again. I'm terrified that just letting someone move in opens me to financial risk.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 10:06 AM
3

A road bike is an investment in future you. Don't overthink it or regret it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:51 AM
2

Gray and orange are my go to. The home office that I worked from was the only room in the 110 year old house that we fully remodeled that I was allowed to paint gray. https://i.imgur.com/03QXcqn.jpeg
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:36 AM
3

Get....the......fuck.....outta there.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:22 AM
2

Lies! Together 20 years. Her pops was colorblind as well, so it wasn't a new idea for my ex. Still got asked to help pick colors. Well, I like gray. What now?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:19 AM
2

Try being colorblind and getting that question. Crazy woman, you've known I was colorblind for 20 fucking years. You pick the color and stop pretending like you need my input.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:17 AM
1

Tell your boss I said he can eat a bag of dicks.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:39 AM
3

What clown ass lawyers thought it was a grand idea to saddle two people with ties to old partners for the rest of their lives?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:30 AM
1

The state wants to dictate when and how you can end the contract you enter into when you get married. The state likes printing money for divorce attorneys. Before I would ever consider marriage again, the state would need to implement fixed cost divorces. They will create the contract for $100, but ending the contract costs tens of thousands of dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 01:13 AM
7

Tell her to clean without music. Or better yet, don't reply at all. Don't get sucked in to the bullshit vortex.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 11:41 AM
15

The power of being able to vent into the void and get back slaps afterwards is priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 11:31 AM
1

I don't know what you're implying. Accuse him or don't, but don't beat around the bush. If you didn't report domestic violence, legally it didn't happen.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 12:20 PM
3

Fuck. See, in my situation, we make the same amount and our 401ks have the same amounts in them. I've been wondering how it will work out when I sue for legal fees from this divorce. She had an affair and then had her lawyer declare that she gets 75% of everything. There's no logic to it all. I've been fortunate to be able to not have to use my 401k to pay for my lawyer, but I went from having zero debt to being in debt up to my eyeballs because of lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 10:08 PM
1

What was the court's justification for you having to pay her legal fees?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 09:29 PM
5

Except he's 15 and wouldn't stay with her 100% of the time. She tried to tell him that she was getting him on Christmas this year, like last year, which was against our verbal agreement. He told her, no, that's not how this works, dad gets me for xmas this year. It is money wasted. If she were able to be fair and abide by our completely fair and workable verbal agreement, I would have $8000 in my bank account.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 05:02 PM
6

If she's mature, and truly in to you, talk through it with her. Sometimes our junk just does what it wants to do and fucks off. My lady friend would see my limp dick and say "challenge accepted." Avoid alcohol. Whiskey dick is a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 12:43 PM
12

Time to buy a dirt bike and make a desert crossing into Egypt or Jordan.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/21 12:31 AM
4

The no cohabitating thing......I've realized I like my own space, but seems like adults don't date long term and live apart.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 01:48 PM
19

Don't mix finances. There's zero benefit and tons of risk. Never date someone that needs you to create their identity, if they don't have their own hobbies, chores, life, etc. they use yours. Compromise only when absolutely necessary. Don't date people that need to find pet sitters to take a weekend trip. Don't date people that live more than 15 minutes away. Don't date people with kids younger than mine.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 12:39 PM
5

Hey brother, sorry don't have any advice. Keep your chin up. Maybe go to a church service? I'm not religious, but wander into services sometimes when a gloomy mood sets in.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 12:18 AM
2

Who cares about what she wants. Fuck that noise.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/21 03:02 PM
8

Being house poor at our age (40 here) sounds miserable. I'm renting a small 700sqft apartment and have tons of cash left over for hobbies and investing. I don't think people should see homes as am investment, but that's just me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 08:06 PM
3

I find that reading the shirts of ladies at the gym has helped me recover. Also dating profiles.....always a humorous read. Sorry, I don't have an valid feedback.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 11:20 AM
2

IANAL
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/21 10:05 AM
3

I'm $15,000 into fighting it. We're fighting over peanuts at this point but such is life. If I don't fight, she takes whatever she wants. If I do fight, lawyers get everything.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 08:43 PM
0

That's the same here. The issue is, "date of separation" is legally vague in PA. My ex wants that date to be whenever in the last year is most beneficial for her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 08:18 PM
4

PA. And yes, two lawyers have told me that the state sees "the date of separation" as the date where a married couple stop acting as a couple. Super vague and useless when one party eats crazy pills 20 times a day.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 08:01 PM
3

As someone that has currently spent $15,000 trying to establish "legal separation," I would disagree. I've been living apart, separated finances, zero interaction besides things related to our child, for a year. My soon-to-be-ex's lawyer keeps filing with the court to see my current finances. And not for alimony. They are contesting the date of legal separation (which courts deems as "when you stop operating as spouses). Nevermind that my ex and I have multiple email and text exchanges discussin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 07:47 PM
5

Legally separate. Anything less is as useful in court as toilet paper.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 06:59 PM
2

That's why adultery needs to be a criminal issue and not a civil issue. Courts want to lord over marriage and divorce but ignore the real issues.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 06:36 PM
2

You've gotten some good advice already, so I'm just reiterating. If she's taking a long time to get back to you about things, in your response, make sure to mention that. I commonly do something like "When you stopped communicating about this topic 3 months ago, I moved forward with making decisions that I felt were best for the children. I hope that we can work together as a coparenting team in a more efficient manner in the future." Her lawyer is running up billable hours, nothing more. I fina…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 03:04 PM
1

Not in PA. She's been dragging it on for 18 months simply to make me bleed lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 04:01 AM
2

I live in an at fault state and the only thing that does is add a multiplier to alimony. Which is useless if your spouse makes less than you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 02:09 AM
1

Generalize much?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 07:18 AM
6

I emailed her last week to make a last ditch effort to stop the bleed. I told her that the law of diminishing returns dictates that if she keeps fighting a fair divorce, that I'll be forced to fight for every penny. Her response.......she called her lawyer and asked if she could file charges for harassment or something. Her lawyer called my lawyer to say "if your client can't stop bullying my client, we will take legal action." My lawyer called me and said "I guess they want to count all the nic…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 06:23 PM
3

My amicable divorce is still going, 18 months later. She sent me her final offer (before lawyers) and she had the % wrong of what she still owned me on the house. I asked her to correct that, and change it to at-fault because of her affair. She hired a lawyer that day. I'm now $15,000 into a divorce that my lawyer says "is the easiest he's ever seen." Same salaries, same retirements, zero debts....... Her latest offer was: 0% of the household goods 25% of the home 25% of the retirement spousal s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 05:52 PM
1

And then there's my court order. The court ordered me to flight to another country or the other coast of the US if I wanted custody over the break even though my ex agreed in writing at separation that I would get custody over this break. She gets custody if the kid and I don't travel with the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 11:22 AM
2

I was banned from /r/askmenover30 for calling someone a male. The mod said it was dehumanizing and I should use the word man. Weirdest exchange on reddit to date.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 10:50 AM
1

My ex convinced a judge to order me to travel to get 50/50. That's right. A judge says my son and I must get on a plane and travel international if I want time with him over the winter break.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 11:06 AM
3

I'm headed to a Pens game tonight with my lady friend. First time seeing a hockey game in person. She bought the tickets. Super excited.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/21 02:22 PM
1

No idea. I'm pretty confused by it all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 12:27 PM
2

Never mind that she had an affair that ended the marriage. You know.....because religion doesn't have a rule against affairs.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 09:03 PM
4

This is a fact I learned today. My lack of religious beliefs was used to take the winter holiday break away from me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 07:13 PM
1

You should jump, then pull the cord. Otherwise you're opening the parachute inside the plane?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 10:26 AM
1

Even if she shared it with the world, nobody would be listening. It's not like she would even know how to share it effectively.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 01:37 PM
1

Ya, just state that you have zero interest in licensing the algo to anyone. You will give her a copy with license that allows her do to whatever she wants to it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 01:27 PM
2

Why not just give her the algo? If it's just a pile of code, there's zero likelihood she will even know what to do with it. I could give my ex a dump of my entire github account and she'd have no clue what to do with it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 01:23 PM
1

You switched accounts FYI. You aren't posting on the original user.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 01:18 PM
1

He said that he gets over 100 emails a day and that my case is early in the process and not urgent. Not a valid business excuse. He needs to hire more help or take on less work.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 12:20 PM
8

What does your lawyer say?
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 03:40 AM
7

You won't find it. LLC law is fairly well defined and debated. You'll need to convince them to vote or buy them out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 08:19 PM
6

Sounds like you have some politicking to do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 08:09 PM
3

It is fucked up. Just realize that corrective actions take time in the legal system. Your day will come. Keep your chin up.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 08:09 PM
7

Is your lawyer fighting the situation? So now I have to pay thousands more to defend my self against this bullshit order of protection Welcome to the broken system. It sucks. Fight the good fight brother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 08:01 PM
2

If you own the LLC, you can make changes to it. Speak with your lawyer about changing the beneficiary information on it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 07:53 PM
4

Hell ya brother. Glad you made it out the backside of this madness.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 07:10 PM
3

My ex and I were on HelloFresh. I can't afford that madness on my single budget. I started using an app (horribly named) called Mealalime. It's like HelloFresh, but you buy the ingredients. It's free. I have about 30 recipes favorited.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/21 08:44 PM
7

Tell the monkey branching clown to pound sand.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 11:03 AM
3

My dad said "what's your goal?" Now, every decision I make related to my ex must have a well defined goal.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 08:21 AM
1

I asked my lawyer. She said there's zero concern about dating while divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/21 09:51 AM
6

A saying that has stuck with me is, the grass is only greener because you stopped watering your lawn. I'm not saying stay, but it sounds like you're bored more than anything. My mom left my dad after 20 years of marriage. He retired, she told him they needed to plan the next stage in life, he fell into a slump, so she split. They are best friends still, just had different life goals after 20 years of shared goals.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 02:33 PM
15

Define boundaries, apply consequences. Until you do, you're a toy in her sandbox. I told my ex, very plainly "we aren't friends anymore, you had an affair, you ended the marriage, go live the life you wanted and leave me alone."
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 02:32 PM
2

This is something you should be asking your lawyer. I'd be very clear with your lawyer that your ex's delays are causing you mental pain.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 09:22 PM
1

You can't compare the two. Not being able to see your kid is a moot point. It can't be argued. It isn't part of your decision making process for how to spend your time when they aren't in your custody. You're allowed to be happy and it not have to involve your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 09:12 PM
1

What's best for the children was not splitting up the family for vagina tingles. Ding ding ding. Winner winner, chicken dinner. She had an exit-affair, and this is the consequence. There's zero chance in hell I would ever "nest" with her. I'd give up custody, liquidate my assets and move to Southeast Asia before I lived under the same roof as her for another hour.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 08:30 PM
1

I have never requested more than 50% custody. I offered 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off, holidays rotate annually, she gets the first half of summer, I get the second, if an exchange of a week is needed, it doesn't mean a loss of time, it means an exchange for another week. My ex's counter was "I can't be away from my child for more than a week (ignoring that she does just this to me over xmas and summer), I will never let him have xmas, we will split all other holidays, if he needs to travel one of his…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 08:26 PM
2

Everyone is different, so your mileage may vary. I was separated for 16 months and had been dating for 4 months when I introduced my 15 year old to my girlfriend. She doesn't want to be a stepmom, she's just "the fun lady that comes around sometimes." My son couldn't care less one way or the other. As long as my lady friend doesn't interrupt his video games, she could have 4 heads and he wouldn't notice.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 05:16 PM
2

Ya, there's no logic to her claims and when it's pointed out by the mediator, my ex just goes silent and refuses to respond. I'm standing firm.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 01:58 PM
2

Her lawyer is fueling these beliefs. We live in an at-fault divorce state, and her affair makes this an at-fault divorce, so it's really confusing that she's putting up such a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 12:17 PM
2

There's no abuse involved by any one involved. Ya, my parents keep telling me to just keep playing the long game.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 07:18 PM
5

Thanks. Well written advice. If 2020 taught me anything, it was that I need to state facts and let others decide if they want to acknowledge facts. If they don't, no amount of discussion will change their mind.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 01:54 PM
2

She has and she does. There's nothing stopping her from doing it. I've been trying to get this into court, but the system is so backed up it's not happening.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 01:22 PM
2

These are questions for a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 02:28 AM
1

Too much backstory.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 02:25 AM
1

I don't know how old your kiddo is. Mine is 15. I've raised him to be a teammate so I can have fairly frank discussions with him. This weekend, I intend to tell him the truth of his schooling situation. I will stick to facts. No emotion. And tell him that no matter how his education goes, I'll always back him if he decides he wants help with schooling, but for now, he's getting the education he's getting because of his mom's choices.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 08:16 PM
2

I feel ya brother. My parents called me the other day. It was an extremely difficult conversation for all of us. Ultimately, they told me that it's ok if I need to focus on myself and surviving and not be able to put up the good fight for my son anymore. They told me to focus on being available to him and be ready to help him pick up the pieces when that day comes. My STBXW is using the court to force our son into a really horrible schooling situation that will have long term consequences for hi…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 08:06 PM
1

I asked for a trial date from the start. Negotiations can happen up until the second you step into court.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 07:22 PM
1

No
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 10:43 AM
6

Be the influence you want to be. The kid may hate you now, but in the long run, they will figure out which parent was really "there" for them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 10:42 AM
1

No idea. Why?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 03:16 PM
-1

You lecture me about being petty and playing games. Then you proceed to tell me I should play games...... I think I'll follow my lawyer's advice. Not the advice of a random internet person.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 10:59 AM
1

I'll accept the doomed to fail legal action over having get approval from her for our travel plans. My kid has 20 stamps in his passport, speaks two languages fluently, got his dive cert on a 10 day live aboard in Raja Ampat.....our plans for this month aren't abnormal. I'm comfortable convincing a court or judge that I'm a capable parent that doesn't to get my travel plans approved by an adulterer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 05:24 AM
1

She took him out of state in June. I'm in the clear to do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 05:23 AM
-3

Legally wrong? Show me the law I'm breaking. I couldn't care less if you think I'm being cold hearted. I've lost interest in being the better person.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 05:22 AM
7

My lawyer said not to discuss anything with her because she will try weaponize it. It's like the famous YouTube video that discusses never speaking to the police. They are hunting for ways to paint you in to a corner. Give them nothing and they can't use it against you. I'm not required to care about her desires anymore. I'm not angry at her. I'm indifferent to her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 12:48 AM
9

He didn't stay with her. He told her he did it for sex and then split. She thought they were in love. Karma's a bitch. He was my best friend. Fucked up on multiple levels.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 11:05 PM
7

Not worth it. Best to just ghost him and tell the truth to anyone that asks about the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 09:16 PM
20

Ya, I'd be recording that madness.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 01:00 PM
5

She sounds like a miserable person. Time to lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 10:20 AM
10

I'm in a similar situation. My soon to be ex wife had an affair. We verbally agreed to everything needed for a peaceful divorce. Then when she had the papers drawn up, she had changed a ton of the agreements. I hate where I live. I can't stand this part of the country. I work remote and have unlimited time off. I love my 15 year old, and am staying here because of the kid, but I think it might kill me. Do what you have to do, just mitigate the regrets you might have in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/21 10:41 AM
4

Freeeeeeeddddommmm!
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 03:56 PM
4

I'm noticing that I identify, and then can't get past, any minor flaw. I'm starting to think I'm self-sabotaging.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 04:05 AM
10

Actually, do. Just have them be fake passwords. Then log failed login attempts and the IP they come from.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 05:10 AM
7

Uh. Blackmail, accessing secured electronics without authorization and revenge porn are illegal. Tell your lawyer and then call the cops.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 05:09 AM
6

You can't change the past. You can apologize, ask for forgiveness and then make sure you're a better person tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 04:52 AM
4

Document, document, document.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/21 05:56 AM
5

Shouldn't your lawyer know what the calculation is?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/21 05:48 AM
16

Two happy homes is better than one miserable home.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 10:40 AM
5

I use 1 plate, 1 cup, 1 fork and 1 knife. I wash them after eating, and never have to "do dishes."
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/21 01:09 PM
8

What's the point? It's an antiquated method of flexing on your peers that you have enough wealth that you can waste money on paying someone to trim your weeds. I'd rather get kicked in the dick once a week and then go have a fun weekend than waste a second mowing grass.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/21 11:29 AM
14

My ex had half days on Fridays from her job. She'd spend that free time doing girlie crap. I'd ask her to do chores so our entire weekend was free. She never once used the half day Fridays to help free up our weekends. She'd say cleaning the house takes hours. I could clean that stupid house in 30 minutes. Now, I can clean my apartment in 15 minutes. I don't have to waste my Sundays mowing the mother fucking yard. I hate that chore.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/21 09:26 AM
3

This is the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/21 02:44 AM
5

I can.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/21 03:36 AM
6

Imagine not understanding humor.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/21 02:39 AM
1

Yup, I totally agree. That's what I'm saying.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/21 06:27 PM
1

I heard an interesting analogy once. Couples start their relationships facing each other. Over time they stop facing each other and start facing forward. Some people grow less interested in each other, but maintain the interest in working together still.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/21 04:42 PM
4

Ask your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 11:01 AM
7

Paid time off. Vacation time. Yes, 20 years is a long time. The ex decide she wanted to test drive my best friend. Good times. Not all ladies, including my ex, think kids need hugs and encouragement. He's a super chill kid. I'm mainly saying, he doesn't need a second mom. He would love to have another adult to chat with, that engages with him.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 11:05 AM
7

Just out of a 20 year relationship. I have a 14 year old son. I will never marry again. I am finding that ladies with kids are too complicated to date. I have unlimited PTO. Three day weekends are important to me. I have three international trips in 2021 already booked. As for parenting. My kiddo doesn't need a second mom. He needs hugs and encouragement.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 10:29 AM
2

Sorry brother. Keep your chin up. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/21 02:34 AM
1

She was having an emotional affair. Consider reading Not Just Friends.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/21 10:52 AM
1

The one I gave to her was. It was my great grandmother's. Gonna be hard pass from me on wanting it back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/21 02:52 AM
1

Call her bluff.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/21 02:40 AM
2

This is why I refused anything shorter than 7/7. Selfish, I know, but it's the one thing I needed for me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 10:26 AM
1

I feel bad for your significant other.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/21 04:25 AM
1

#1 it bothers her. Stay the course and keep applying consequences. #2 who cares what she tells her mom. Start keeping a log as a CYA for any legal situations.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/21 10:38 AM
2

People can be horrible. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/21 10:35 AM
4

I wouldn't mind either way. This is the path I took, and I have no regrets. That makes it a good path.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/21 10:32 AM
3

It's called an emotional affair. Verses a physical affair.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/21 02:53 AM
2

Good for you brother. Live your best life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 09:23 AM
15

/r/survivinginfidelity is your next stop. Sorry you've joined the shittiest club on the planet.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/21 04:00 AM
2

I wouldn't cosign any financial documents with anyone I didn't plan on being with the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/21 09:12 PM
5

With talk of rekindling due to our son my wife pretty much said after my family didn't reach out much post seperation she felt her ill feeling towards them during our relationship was justified She was shitty, and when people noticed, she felt justified for being shitty? That's some warped logic.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 11:33 AM
12

That's not how it works from what I've been told by my lawyer. Income is calculated based on historic values, not present. YMMV
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/21 04:33 PM
2

I asked my attorney about the credit. The response was, work it out amongst yourselves, or pay us lawyers more to figure it out. My ex and I are alternating years of "custody" for taxes. I'm just going to call it a wash if one year she gets a better credit than I do the next year. It's the "stupid tax" for marrying a morally deficient person. If you filed taxes jointly, I would divvy it up based on percentage paid. My wife and I make generally the same, so we would have gone 50/50 on the refund,…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 03:33 PM
5

50% is hers. Speak with your lawyer. I'm in a similar situation. Ex cheated on me with my best friend and ended our 20 year relationship in 2020. Only I have access to the bank account where the 2nd and 3rd checks were deposited. The ex thought we made too much to receive any checks. I sat on the 2nd check until yesterday. Regardless of how shitty my ex was and how unfair she was about splitting assets, I still have morals and she is due 50% of the checks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 10:45 AM
1

As soon as you notice it, write down what caused it. Then, when you've recovered, start to build a checklist for combatting it in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 04:20 AM
8

I wouldn't consider this to be the scorecard by which I would operate. Plus, in my opinion, sexual encounters while married are actually penalty points against that team, so your ex is actually losing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/21 11:36 AM
1

$2k here in PA and wife and I basically agree on everything.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 05:00 PM
4

Gray rock the shit out of that nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 01:37 AM
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