When we separated, we had a really good relationship. We agreed on all the custody issues and schedule, no lawyers needed.

Then, about a year into separation, she decided in the middle of court ordered mediation (because she hired a lawyer for the financial divorce that also took over the custody situation) that she would "never let the child spend another holiday with the father."

Then she decided that our custody agreement was week on, week off, no exceptions. The only motivation for her making this change was that I have unlimited PTO and have worked remote for 15 years. She wanted to hamstring me so I can't utilize my PTO. I have to be in town every Monday for the hand-off of the kid. For a year, she was completely fine trading weeks with me so I could travel.

So.......18 months later and $8000 in the hole, we have a court ordered custody agreement that matches exactly what we verbally agreed to 18 months ago. $8000 wasted because she was tired of me being able to enjoy my unlimited PTO and wanted all the holidays with the kid.

This should be criminal. There should be a mandatory review process for any family court order that reviews the start of the process with the end of the process and if they are the same, then the parent that initiated the court proceedings should have to pay for all the legal fees. He's 15 and she should be honest with him about why she doesn't have excess spending money for him.

My ex commonly tells our son that she doesn't have money for things that he wants to buy or do. When he tells me about the situation, my reply is "I think your mom would have a lot more money if she wasn't paying her lawyer to try and take more than 50% of the custody, maybe ask her how much she paid her lawyer and what it got her."

Oh, and one last thing. Hey ex! I know you read my posts. Like, subscribe, hit the bell icon to get notifications!