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unhappily1980 Archive

View 7 posts and 28 comments by unhappily1980 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I totally hear what you're saying. Deep down I knew I shouldn't say a bad word. I haven't said one this whole time, why start now. Just be a role model, supportive and make sure the kids know I love them. I just needed this amazing community on here to talk me down a bit. It's what I needed to hear. Thanks very much!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:18 AM
3

Thanks! I've tried to lead by example the whole time. Knowing the kids pickup on things without having to say anything. I've just tried to be the stable one. I actually just got off the phone with my dad who pretty much gave me the same advice. Just letting them know they have to come next week but it's a normal part of the process just to see how things are going.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:15 AM
1

Thanks very much. The best advice I've heard in a while
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:58 AM
2

That was my thought exactly. I completely understand the other comments and that's exactly why I posed the question. I'm just looking forward to everyone to start the next phase. I can't wait to have fun with them, go on vacations with then. All the good stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 11:38 PM
1

Thanks, there's definitely things I like to do that their mom doesn't and I can't wait for that time. I think most of all this is just the unknown on the other side. Just trying to prepare what I can I guess, as much as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 09:01 PM
1

My daughter is very social, so she takes the lead with her social life. My son not quite yet. I just want to make sure I can stay in the loop and it would be friendly with the other parents. My parents were not social with any of my friends parents. I just hope to be better about it. I know I'll need to make more of an effort once I'm alone, and I'm willing to. At the end of the day, I just want to be a good dad and have my kids love me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 07:22 PM
2

Thanks alot, I think that's all reasonably put steps. Once I'm out of the house and I'm forced to be the point of contact on my weeks with the kids, hopefully it comes naturally. I wouldn't say I hate being around people so much as just extremely anxious. I don't hate people, just the situations. I don't know if that's just the same thing out differently.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 07:15 PM
3

Thanks! My major hurdle is overthinking. Worrying too much about what the other people think of me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 07:12 PM
2

I really appreciate all that. I'm not antisocial per se, just bad at conversation. I WANT to talk to people but definitely doesn't come naturally. It's mostly lack of experience. I've been in a tiny company for years, small group of friends and literally just don't interact with many people most days because of lack of opportunities.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 07:09 PM
1

Well this took the wind out of my sails, but I appreciate the information.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:06 AM
2

Since it was you STBX that asked for it, can I ask what's keeping you from moving out?
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:54 PM
1

I would just say traditional counseling. She does specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but that's not what I'm there for. Just trying to get through this difficult time to start, while also working on my anxiety so I can start fresh and get back out there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 10:37 AM
2

I'm sure over time my family will completely understand. I've not heard anyone say the journey to divorce was easy so I expect bumps. It'll work out in the end and I know I'll be happy on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 07:54 PM
2

Being a role model for my kid's is my #1 priority
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 11:40 AM
2

It wasn't that bad. But when we did it, it felt like more fulfilling a quota. It was less the lack of sex, and more the total lack of affection outside of that. No hand holding, sitting with each other, kisses, hugs. None of that. Ever.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 11:38 AM
3

I bet. I can't imagine that's ever worked out for any couple once one comes to that decision.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 11:23 AM
2

And congrats on June! That'll be here before you know it!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 11:22 AM
2

Thanks man. I know this will pass. Just as long as my kids are happy is all that matters. And to your point, I know I'll have the stable, calm house compared to my stbx, so I just hope they see that and realize it's for the best. The short term pain of feeling judgement is fine, as long as my kids are long term happy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 11:21 AM
1

I'm not trying to bash my dad. His line of questions were totally from a good place. I also think he feels guilty because my parents got divorced and I wouldn't doubt if it makes him feel partially responsible.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 11:13 PM
2

I think it'll be worse because I have kids, even though I feel like its common knowledge not to stay in a relationship for the sake of kids. Yet I feel like people are more judgemental because there are kids. I'm doing this FOR my kids. They see a loveless marriage everyday. They can't think that's what love is.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 11:12 PM
2

Thanks. This forum has been the best getting through all this. The worst part is the inevitable "did you try counseling, did you try this, that, the other", "are you sure you can't work on...."
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 09:34 PM
3

I was venting in what I thought was a safe space. The conversation had just taken place and I was crushed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 02:13 PM
1

I'm glad you're on the road to happiness. I can't wait to get back to things I used to love. I haven't played guitar in years. I love going to movies, she didn't. I like camping. More importantly I can't wait to do things like that with my kids. (9M and 11F) Last night she expected to me to have the full plan and dates since I was so sure. I said while the divorce may be my decision, how we move forward is not. She just didn't get it. Hey, if I really can be the one to choose to keep the house a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 02:12 PM
3

This is great to hear. I really needed to hear something positive before I fell asleep. Bottom line, I've been miserable as long as I can remember. I've given her many chances. There's even more very specific and egregious things she's done that I didn't bring up. I absolutely know it's the right decision. What does bug me is I'm a terrible speaker under pressure so I can't articulate once she came at me. I don't regret having the conversation but I wish I was better at it. I thought before it h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 04:38 AM
10

Whoever you agreed to get to claim the kids on their taxes should be entitled to the money. That tax credit is basically an advance on the refund you would have gotten based on claiming the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 08:49 PM
1

There's been multiple reasons for the delay, whether their good reasons is up for debate. I really felt like it was going to happen this past weekend. I appreciate the tough love here. I will take it. What my son said truly was the guy punch, last straw. Thank you, really
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 05:20 PM
3

The purpose of the talk is to have the best chance of it being amicable or at least civil. We have kids, so I'm linked with her for at least the next 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 05:14 PM
4

That's sounds great, it truly is the little things. I hope to be in your position soon.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/21 09:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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