I'm 44M. This month marks 3 years working on this divorce. I moved out 18 months ago. Last month the ex throws a curve ball literally the day before our hearing to sign the custody agreement that she wants primary custody. So now in a week my kids(14F/11M) have to testify.

We've had 50/50 custody the entire 18 months, practically down to the minute. No issues, kids are happy, doing well. I'm newly engaged and my son loves his soon-to-be step brother, who happens to be in my daughter's class. My daughter like him and my fiance.

I will have my kids the days leading up to and including the day of the hearing. Do I say anything in the next week? Everyone I've told this is happening is appalled my ex is making the kids do this, especially with no cause. I've never said a bad word about their mom. I know she's asked my son about me and what I do and he's told me in the past it's made him uncomfortable put in the middle. So I never ask questions. I know my son will be anxious about it if I tell him ahead of time but also don't want to blindsided them.

Can I tell them she asked for this? I don't want to make her the villain but I also don't want them thinking I wanted this in anyway.