Dear Abby: I don't want the boy I'm pregnant with.

blueoak9 · 2014-03-04T15:44:39+00:00

People need to stop acting like this is sane or rational behavior.

Tpyo84 · 2014-03-04T16:24:34+00:00

I'm actually very disappointed with the reactions being written over this article here - but not surprised.

There is no reason to be disgusted with this woman or think she is a monster. She readily recognizes that her feelings are wrong...

I know this sounds terrible and selfish. I feel like a monster, but I can’t help it.

...and is seeking advice - this is in no way an issue of men's rights. She got a very good response:

you are not thinking objectively right now

no need to rush into signing any papers right now

tell your doctor about all of your feelings because they may be hormonal

You might benefit from some professional counseling right now – more than I can offer you – and I urge you to get it before doing anything you might later regret.

I think people are correlating this to the male stereotype of wanting a boy and being disappointed, which is probably a logical conclusion to draw. The difference here, again, is that this woman knows her feelings are irrational and doesn't know what to do.

It would be a whole different matter if she was just completely dumping on what she could never do with a son.

2014-03-04T15:48:14+00:00

I'm sure the father and his parents will be happy to raise a happy and healthy boy and the mother will come to her senses to realize she spurned life she helped create... Though, it would be too late, the damage will have been done. The father should get child support. Being a single parent is tough.

blueoak9 · 2014-03-04T17:00:13+00:00

" The truth is, the more I think about it, the more I am pulled in the direction of signing over my parental rights to my ex. At least he really wants him, whereas I don’t. I know this sounds terrible and selfish. I feel like a monster, but I can’t help it."

Monster in general for hating boys that much, but not a monster in this particular case. In fact she is amazingly unselfish in seeing that she is unfit to be this boy's mother and wanting to relinquish the boy to his family rather than to some shyster adoption agency.

She is thinking like a rational being instead of some selfish ego-defending piece of shit.

snoopyzanus · 2014-03-04T18:34:40+00:00

What gets me is that the advice givers—whether Abby, or the one commentator who loves her son—put all of the focus and priority on the mother's feelings (whether of potential later satisfaction with the choice of keeping her son or of regret for giving him up); there is no concern for the welfare of the baby himself—who on the face of it would be far better off with a loving father and extended family who definitely want and welcome him.

The mother may well be temporarily irrational, but it can't just be written off as that. She states that she has always wanted "four little princesses." It may come to pass that she would come to love the boy if she kept him, but she could also continue to not want or truly love the boy and he would then suffer because he wasn't given over to the custody of his father.

Ironically, out of the three of them it seems that it is the mother who doesn't want her son who seems the most concerned for his welfare, considering giving him up to the father because she knows that he does really want his son.

2014-03-04T15:23:42+00:00

Well.. I'd just go ahead and sign the baby over to your ex.

If you don't want him, he might be a lot better off with him.

s0nicfreak · 2014-03-04T15:45:19+00:00

No there is not time. Due dates are just a "somewhere around there" date and it's common for it to be up to a month off. Also there's the possibility of it being premature. And I'm assuming this letter wasn't just written yesterday.

So at any moment she could give birth to this baby that she doesn't want. For about 6 weeks afterwards she is going to be thinking completely irrationally (well, even more than her usual I mean).

Maybe she'll change her mind and raise the boy with a subconscious attitude of "You're wrong for not being a girl."

Maybe she won't and will fuck up the very important first-few-weeks-of-life bonding-with-a-human time.

Maybe she'll think she changed her mind, but then with hormones raging and her home alone with the baby a week later, she'll neglect or kill him.

There is no possible good outcome I see from her not signing over rights ASAP.

MrArtless · 2014-03-04T15:12:26+00:00

No she is a monster. Who the fuck actually expects to only get pregnant with 4 girls? There is a 1/16 chance of that happening. What a moron. So irresponsible... now the baby may have to grow up without ever knowing his mother just because she is a misandrist.

td9red · 2014-03-04T15:50:13+00:00

This woman is crazy.

2014-03-04T19:08:12+00:00

One, this is a problem that any sane, mature adult should have been able to work out emotionally.

Two, I'm sick of people pointing out they're wrong as some kind of shield for criticism for being wrong. If you realize you're wrong, start to work on it-- without writing sobby letters to fictional entities. You say you're wrong and you're still acting like agency is an anathema to you?

TheManInsideMe · 2014-03-04T22:47:15+00:00

The answer was actually really good because it's not out of the question she's hormonal, especially because she even acknowledges how irrational this is. This woman needs help, and "Abby's" response was exactly that.

Leadbaptist · 2014-03-04T17:22:31+00:00

Undeserving of the title of mommy

Oh god that's heartbreaking

2014-03-04T16:06:45+00:00

What a monster. If the ex wants the kid the ex should get the kid, done and done. At least she has a glimmer of decency in at least entertaining that thought.

There will be time for that later, if you still want to. For now, ask your parents to help you select some baby boy outfits, and tell your doctor about all of your feelings because they may be hormonal.

Well, women can always fall back on the hormonal defense.

2014-03-04T20:13:38+00:00

Something is wrong with her, but she knows that and feels uncomfortable having these feelings. Cool, at least she accepts that much.

Something is wrong with society when boys are little frogs and girls are little princesses. That's what upsets me about this.

BuzzinFr0g · 2014-03-05T05:27:51+00:00

Repugnant. There's no dearth of scumbags. "Princess this, princess that." Such delusional thinking is at pandemic levels.

kajimandias · 2014-03-04T17:41:23+00:00

This really doesn't belong on this sub. She's not saying she doesn't want a baby boy because of the vile, oppressive rapist he'll become. She's 32 weeks pregnant, no longer with the father, and she's asking for help because she's not sure what to do about a potentially unwanted child. She claims responsibility and feelings of guilt, but she has some admitted fucked up feelings to sort out. The only offender in the entire advice column is the woman's father, who wants to prevent the other parents' custody.

MoveTheMetal · 2014-03-04T18:25:15+00:00

Dear mom to be... do the world a favor and eat a shotgun.

Title	Dear Abby: I don't want the boy I'm pregnant with.
Author	freakflagflies
Upvotes	65
Comments	44
Date	March 4, 2014 2:44 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1zj542/dear_abby_i_dont_want_the_boy_im_pregnant_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dear-abby-i-dont-want-the-boy-im-pregnant-with.1003180 https://theredarchive.com/post/1003180

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