Dude's girlfriend tries to force him to fight when he doesn't want to, abuses him verbally for hours when he won't till he gives up and leaves. Guy is somehow in the wrong. WTF. (x-post r/relationships)

squigglesthepig · 2012-12-14T15:45:19+00:00

Could be that he chose the username MyGFIsAYippyDog.

2012-12-14T15:29:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hugolp · 2012-12-14T16:13:51+00:00

O_o what the hell is wrong with r/relationships?

buster2209 · 2012-12-14T16:58:08+00:00

Similar situation asked on Yahoo answers here;

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArwfOqVScrl0ltPtzx8G.ITsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121029074651AAAfYtc

The top rated is 10 for 10;

You aren't understanding what transpired. Turn the sexes around to see what really happened. Picture this: A husband decides to keep his wife captive (kidnapping) by blocking her only exit from the room. She manages to escape, but her kidnapper receives some minor bruising in the struggle because he wasn't going to let her free without a fight. He then comes on yahoo answers complaining about the unfairness of it all. "Why won't she let me hold her captive like she is supposed to? Can you believe that she actually fought back?"

He isn't an abuser. You are.

Edit: Some more context which you may not have considered. At that moment when he hit the cup of water across the room, he was extremely agitated and in a state of "fight or flight". He told you he needed to leave, and you stood your ground blocking his exit and said “That won’t be necessary.” You felt you had an advantage by keeping him literally trapped in that room, so you decided to block off the opportunity of flight knowing that if he tried to leave, you could physically stop him using the profoundly biased Domestic Violence legal process to hold him hostage. In a primal sense, you were *insisting on a fight from him knowing that if he didn't resist what you were baiting him to do you could destroy his life. He grabbed your hands and pushed you away because he was afraid that if he started to move past you gently you would refuse to let him pass and also likely engage in a physical fight. He didn't want to fight you, so he controlled your hands so you couldn't hit, scratch, or hold him and separated you from him as quickly as he could while escaping the physical trap you had set for him. This took a good amount of force, because you didn't want to let him out without a fight. When your plan to hold him in the room and taunt him while he was highly distressed didn't work out as expected, you came here crying about how mean he was. What you should be doing instead is apologizing to him for doing something so cruel, and promising never to hold him captive during a fight again. If he is losing his cool, let him exit. If you don't, it can only mean that you are either sadistic or are hoping for the drama, power, and sympathy which comes with claiming domestic violence.

If he had been the one who wrote the question, I would have warned him that what he did in response to you was extremely ill advised. His best bet in that situation was to wait for your childish game to end, and then deal with your willingness to manipulate him in such a cruel way. I am extremely against divorce, but a wife willing to do what you did to her husband is something which would justify immediate divorce in my opinion, especially if she was unrepentant or the police had become involved making the consequences irrevocable.

*Note the very definition of DV in the penelope house link offered by another answerer. It is entirely framed as something men do to women. From their definition page:

"Insulting her in public or in private

Putting down her friends and family

Making her feel bad about herself

Calling her names

Making her think she’s crazy

Playing mind games

Humiliating her

Making her feel guilty

Using Male Privilege; acting like “Master of the Castle”"

Source(s):

http://www.tampafldomesticbatterylawyers…

http://napavalleyregister.com/news/local…

http://www.thebodysoulconnection.com/Edu…

jolly_mcfats · 2012-12-14T16:55:22+00:00

I really was stunned by all the "yeah my relationship is like that too" comments. Why the hell does anyone stick around in a relationship like that?

LoL_feminism · 2012-12-14T17:30:22+00:00

Textbook emotional abuse on her part if you ask me. I have send him a pm. Hopefully he will come over.

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