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Staying Together for the Kids? Don't if you can't get along.

RedditBlueit

October 16, 2012

3 upvotes

/r/MensRights

http://devsoc.cals.cornell.edu/cals/devsoc/outreach/cardi/publications/upload/04-2009-RNYM.pdf

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Post Information

Title	Staying Together for the Kids? Don't if you can't get along.
Author	RedditBlueit
Upvotes	3
Comments	29
Date	October 16, 2012 5:45 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/11kwfj/staying_together_for_the_kids_dont_if_you_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/staying-together-for-the-kids-dont-if-you-cant-get.1011226 https://theredarchive.com/post/1011226

Comments

[–]RedditBlueit[S] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link

[–]ErasmusMRA 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (39 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (37 children) | Copy Link

[–]ErasmusMRA 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexancandy 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexancandy 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[+]Lyonette 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 13 years ago* (27 children) | Copy Link

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[+]Lyonette -3 points-2 points-1 points 13 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

It was simpler in times past, parents used to decide whom would best make a appropriate suitor for their sons and daughters

How does this ensure a "good" or "happy" marriage?

That alone, I'm sure gave many marriages a good chance of working.

If by "working" you mean "not divorcing," then you're right. However, when I think "working" I also think "not divorcing" plus "both members are happy with one another and themselves, their situation, their marriage."

Also in those days it was understood, barring extreme circumstances, that marriage was for life (for better or for worse, till death do you part etc), and because of this people wholeheartedly committed themselves to marriage (no choice) - and more often than not, given the right combination of people, sooner or later it eventually worked.

See - "having no other choice" seems to me a pretty terrible reason to get/stay married.

Now even a simple feeling of being 'unsatisfied' is reason enough to bail on a marriage.

Why would you have a problem with that? I really do not understand this notion that we are to police other people's relationships and marriages. If someone is unhappy and unsatisfied in a marriage, they should leave, period.

My advice is if you're a woman in a "low-conflict" bad marriage - expend every ounce of your time and effort into making it a "no-conflict" good marriage; for your sake, for your children's sake, for your husband's sake.

So it's up to the woman to ensure that her low-conflict bad marriage becomes a no-conflict good marriage? This doesn't sound very fair to me at all. Especially the "for your husband's sake."

I was in a bad marriage for several years but I never gave up, never! I tried with all my will and might to make it work. With no children walking away would have been so easy, but I was determined to make it work even if it killed me, and I didn't care how long it would take - I would find a way. And I did.

LOL, so how did that work out?

TL;DR - Don't stay in a bad marriage, stay and make a better one.

How about: Marriage is between the partners in the marriage, and not to outside observers. Husbands and wives should do whatever they need to be safe, happy, and sane.

[+][deleted] 13 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

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[–]sexancandy 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]chavelah -5 points-4 points-3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sexancandy -4 points-3 points-2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 13 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

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[+]Lyonette 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[+][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]sexancandy -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 13 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]chavelah -3 points-2 points-1 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lyonette -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RedditBlueit[S] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ceranna -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link