So, people call you things like "hot stuff" and "hey sexy". It makes you feel objectified and belittled. AWESOME, I'll trade you right now. Because while people have been complimenting/objectifying you, they have been insulting/demonizing me.

I, among the vast majority of males, have been considered pedophiles if we have any interaction with a child beyond a passing glance. It has been so since I was a teenager, and I along with the vast majority of the male population has done nothing to deserve this scorn and hatred.

I shall share one of the more recent of countless incidents. I was walking to work, and I passed this yard that had a child (3-4 y/o) playing in the yard with a ball and the mother sitting on the porch watching. And as kids will tend to do, she kicked the ball a bit hard and not where she wanted, and it was going into the street. I was nearly right there, so I took 2 quick steps, stopped it, knelt down to pick it up, and then offered the ball with an outstretched arm towards the happy kid who was bounding toward me. Granted I did have a ~3 inch (well kept) beard, however I was also on my way to work, which meant button up shirt, tie, cackies, nice shoes, and a briefcase, which I think made mostly for the upstanding fine citizen image. Despite this, the mother jumped up, screamed "Alex NO, STOP!!!", sprinted forward, scooped up her kid, said something to her, and rushed back into the house. As they quickly walked away, the kid looked back at me with a heart crushing look of fear and confusion.

Now, I can't normally say this lest I be told "Man up you whining bitch ass pussy", but the feelings I get from incidents such as these are probably just behind death of people close to me. The automatic guilt of what did I do wrong, even when I just wanted to give the kids ball back (and perhaps prevent her from running into the street to get it). The insult that people think I could do such a horrible thing. The embarrassment/shame, as regardless of the facts a screaming women running her child away from you looks pretty bad. And the sadness, knowing that a friendly outgoing kid will now fear people, and likely pass on this horrible stigma to others.

Black men have it even worse. In addition to the pedo fear that they share with all other men, they also have a violence stigma attached to them. More than a few times I have seen a black man walking down the street, minding his own business and 99.9% chance that he has no ill will towards anyone. And then some girl will appear walking the opposite direction, only to notice the black man and quickly cross the street. Have you ever done that? I wouldn't be surprised.

There is also the validity of these different social practices. When someone calls you hot stuff, there is a decent chance you are good looking, and while there are many better ways to convey such a message, when you boil it down to the facts, it is probably a compliment. Mean while when I am called a pedophile by a mother, there is actually a statistically much higher chance that she would harm her child compared to me, a total stranger. The same goes for black men and violence.

There are of course ways to eliminate or at least reduce the number of experiences each of us get. Women could wear less revealing clothes, use less makeup, don't wear high heels, etc. Men can completely avoid children at any cost and in all situations. And of course these are prices we must pay. Women are more comfortably dressed and save money, and on the flip side to avoid being fingered as a pedo, children die.

So, you don't like lude comments and stares that undress you. I will trade any time, because I bet it beats the shit outa the stares I get, those death stares, those stares that say "I'm watching you, you fucking pedo. Don't you dare touch my child. I will get my gun and shoot you where you stand. I have already pressed 91 on my cellphone in my jacket. That's it keep on going..."