A date asked me if I was gay. I've also been told I act too metrosexual. Insight/Advice?

2014-01-20T21:36:50+00:00

Own it. Plenty of flamboyant men get mad pussy and I'd say, with you being Latino, that style can certainly suit you.

Treat questioning your sexuality like shit tests, because that's what it is. If you really worry about coming off as gay, escalate sexual aggression quicker.

And as always, lifting won't hurt.

mejor_o_nada · 2014-01-20T21:20:47+00:00

I've seen many people that I would consider metrosexual pull ass before. It's all about your frame. You say you have flamboyant hand gestures, so use that to your benefit. The most expressive story tellers use their hand and we can't help but be drawn into their story with them. It shows enthusiasm. Don't over do them, but use them to help. Also, maybe you shouldn't talk about fashion so much. That's a line that you probably shouldn't cross. The way you dress speaks for itself, and it says your into fashion. They don't need to hear about it. Later, when they realize your not gay, you can talk about it more if that's where the conversation goes. Remember, not all girls like every type of guy. Some girls swoon over the bearded lumberjack types, some love the jocks, some fantasize about the outlaw. You have to find the one that likes the group you most identify with. I'm not saying you can't pull a chick that has another "type" in mind, it'll just be a hell of a lot easier if you find the girl that likes your type. Find yourself a manly hobby. Lift weights, kickbox, fix motorcycles. Bitches love guys that work on motors. Something about oily hands and greasy shirts just gets their girl-parts flowing. So find something to lose YOURSELF in. The girls will follow.

FortunateBum · 2014-01-21T01:17:36+00:00

You're being shit tested big time. Try responding with,

I'm not gay, but a woman has to be extremely beautiful to interest me. You might be beautiful, but I won't know until I see you naked. Later tonight.

ilulightemup · 2014-01-20T22:37:30+00:00

it's all frame

i love fashion and i want to be a male model

i don't talk to girls seriously about fashion because they don't fucking know anything about fashion and because talking to girls seriously for any reason dries them up. for example this is copy and pasted from my facebook. it happened when i posted a picture of this girl (http://i.imgur.com/5Kg65h1.jpg):

REDACTED She's too fat for you REDACTED you know that 2 hours ago · Like

REDACTED Plus how basic is she that she's wearing a nude cami the someone wears UNDER blouses, grey leggings with high heels? Someone does not know how to dress themselves

ME ya ur right that outfit belongs on the floor about an hour ago · Like · 2

neg them about their outfits and never talk seriously about it with a girl. relate man to woman not woman to woman and not man to man.

i guarantee i'm more flamboyant than you are and if you don't believe me i'll post a gif of how i hold cigarettes. it doesn't matter. there's a difference between being a nancyboy who takes it in the ass and being a flamboyant sexy male model who just EXUDES sexual energy and i'm pretty sure girls can tell.

and even if you do come off gay don't forget most girls WILL do shit with a guy just because their ginies tingle. infact coming off gay usually completely destroys all anti-slut defenses.

2014-01-20T23:42:02+00:00

I wouldn't worry about it.

Years ago after I broke up with this girl I was seeing I picked up a pretty good looking older lady at a party(mid 30's I think). I had my nipples pierced and while I was fucking her she asked me that question.

I just laughed and then demolished her.

2014-01-21T02:32:03+00:00

I've been to Rio a couple of times. All the guys there seemed gay to me, holding each others hands in the streets, wearing tight/skimpy clothing, etc. They are not all gay though, it is just the culture. I have to tell you I got crazy amounts of Brazilian girls when I was there, it wasn't even a challenge. Just go to the club and pick the one you like. Dance with her a little and then ask to go back to your hotel. They like the foreign white guys who come off more masculine.

It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on the characteristics that are making you seem gay, so it appears you have answered your question for yourself already. Just stop doing those things, or do them less.

foulacy · 2014-01-21T16:33:24+00:00

I nice scar on you face, and a indian jones type hat might help you look more manly.

mrust · 2014-01-21T17:19:50+00:00

I wouldn't worry about the stereotypes. Being into fashion, well-groomed, etc... It just doesn't matter. I think what is holding you back is lack of escalation and trying to engage her on common interests.

Talking about common interests like fashion (or dating, or her guy problems) will put you in the friend zone. But the lack of touching and sexual innuendo coupled with the stereotypes is what will kill you. Put simply you are relying on conversation to build comfort but there's no sexual tension. She feels so comfortable around you that you must be gay.

zSantanA · 2014-01-20T21:27:08+00:00

Don't talk fashion with women because they will get the wrong impression. Keep that shit to yourself or talk about it on its respective forums (sufu, styleforum, etc). The fact that she had to ask if you were actually gay means you were giving her mixed signals rather than being direct.

You probably conduct yourself in a very effeminate way and don't get physical with your dates. Compound that with your small stature and your topics of conversation its easy to see why women think of you in this way.

There's nothing wrong with expressing an interest in fashion but keep it under wraps and don't go into every detail about it with women. You don't need to talk with your hands to get a point across and I can guarantee that if you got yourself into a gym it would help with your general tendencies. Pick up some other hobbies too. Dressing well is good and all but fashion doesn't really build character.

feriksen · 2014-01-20T21:29:07+00:00

ok,

first off: dressing well and being fashion aware does not constitute lack of alpha male attributes or attitude :)

I probably know more about fashion then most females around me, for sure more then most men. At the same time, I did recognize quite a few years back how you can actually use fashion to project inherently male attributes, i.e. the power suit does indeed exist (and work). Hint: "Dressing the man" by Alan Flusser. If you dress like a hipster, you will be perceived as a hipster, if you dress like you, you will be perceived as you, i.e. genuine.

Body language: This is more tricky, but I recognize what you say, I've heard the same about me, especially when I was younger (20's). I've worked hard on becoming more "sentient" on my use of body language in general (posture, walk, gestures, facial expressions), to ensure I convey the message I need/want (pre-sales/sales/work/small-talk/personal). All I really can advice you on here is to try and read up on anything you can on communication skills, from Carnegie to FR's/PUA, and analyze your own behaviour time and time again. Its a process.

As for your comment on connecting very well, be careful: an easy flowing conversation does not equal a connection/attraction being built as you would wish ;)

redpillacct · 2014-01-20T21:16:04+00:00

Don't be flamboyant. These girls aren't going out with you on 'dates'. In their minds these are obviously hangouts with new friend zone material. You should never talk about high fashion to a girl and it sounds like you a dressing to feminine honestly. There is a difference between dressing 'metro' and 'gay'.

Title	A date asked me if I was gay. I've also been told I act too metrosexual. Insight/Advice?
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	January 20, 2014 9:06 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1vpakg/a_date_asked_me_if_i_was_gay_ive_also_been_told_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/a-date-asked-me-if-i-was-gay-ive-also-been-told-i.10220 https://theredarchive.com/post/10220

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