First off I want to say hi to RP community. I have been reading this sub for couple of months. It opened my eyes, I was blue pill miserable fuck, and still I am. But I want to change, I'm not happy the way I'm living right now.

I'm 29, and until I now I was only with two womans. Yesterday I ended my LTR. Because there was no sex, no respect for me and my time, and Im pretty sure she was cheating on me with her ex. Basically I was a little bitch in this relationship, a fucking white knight. She break up couple times with me, and always after few days she came back like nothing happened. She made a lot of shitty things to me, and it's my fault because I allowed her to do that. Because I was believing in "love", until yesterday. Yesterday for the first time in my life I said to my girlfriend "fuck you" something break about me, and it was enough for break up.

Right now I'm pissed off, at me, at my ex girlfriend, at everything. The world is wrong, it shouldn't be like that. It's not like a fucking Disney movie, womans are bad. Now I see it clearly, it fucking hurts guys, the truth fucking hurts.

Right now I don't know what to do. I need your advice, I need motivation. I pretty sure one day she will came to back to me asking for forgiveness. But part of me don't want to be with her anymore, I want to be strong to kick her out of my life for ever. I want to change, I need your help please.

PS sorry for my English, it's not my native language. And I'm drunk right now.