So, I was forced into sex. (NSFW text) VERY LONG! : self (Same story posted earlier to /mr)

kloo2yoo · 2011-06-02T20:51:59+00:00

my responses:

http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/hpzs1/so_i_was_forced_into_sex_nsfw_text_very_long/c1xfyos?context=3

http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/hpzs1/so_i_was_forced_into_sex_nsfw_text_very_long/c1xg1gf?context=3

FortyEyes · 2011-06-02T23:11:19+00:00

I got progressively more irate as I read that.

Proof positive that "Rape culture" applies so much more for men than for women.

xVarekai · 2011-06-03T04:09:42+00:00

I want to write an addendum to this. I spoke with a close male friend of mine about this and he read the post with me, and I did have some revelations. While this is what the law would consider rape, the situation, to us, seems to be in a pretty gray area. My argument is that first and foremost, both parties made some bad decisions. As soon as she began to make advances that were unwanted, he should have got up off the bed and made her leave. Call the cops if you have to if she refuses. Leave the house if you have to. The situation should not have escalated. HOWEVER. For a man it is almost impossible to stop a woman when you begin having sex if she is determined, because force of any kind can be turned around on him and suddenly she becomes the victim. The man in this situation had to make a very difficult decision--either allow her to have sex with him or get physical. And while I desperately wish that men could thwart an attacker (bloody, bruise, anything that is -necessary- to stop the attack) we all know that most juries would nail him for hurting her at all, as at the point it's he said she said, and "she" nearly always wins that game.

I admit this is rape. It could have been avoided. A restraining order was probably a good idea here, as the situation was obviously traumatizing and he shouldn't have kept contact with his attacker. She obviously didn't respect him or his wishes and he should have avoided her at all costs. I wish this woman could be tried for what she did. I am sincerely sorry this happened and I know it happens a lot, and I know men are in a painful situation where the law is concerned, and this does need to change. I am not going to respond to people being nasty and hateful to me for my opinion, as ad hominems, insults and name-calling don't help any situation and I have more respect for myself and this topic to bow to bullies. I will say that I concede several points here and I understand what people are saying. I will continue to frequent this topic as I always have and continue to support men's rights, and I wish more women would open their eyes to the reality of what men have to put up with in this world.

2011-06-03T14:16:19+00:00

I just want to say thank you to rantgrrl for xposting this to MR, I didn't even know of MR until yesterday. Thank you all for the kind words and allowing me to know there are caring strangers everywhere on Reddit.

xVarekai · 2011-06-02T19:25:56+00:00

I'm going to risk some downvotes in a topic that I feel strongly about and support. (Feel free to see the posts I've made in the past.) Yes, a man can be raped, by both men and women. But I don't think that's the case here. It doesn't seem like you did everything you could to avoid the situations you were in. I think you enjoyed the attention, and while I believe you felt guilty, just feeling guilty isn't going to cut it when action is required. I of course don't know all the details about who is stronger, but from your post you said you are a bigger guy, and while I hate to imply the men are -always- stronger, it sounds like you could have pushed her off of you, gotten dressed and told her to leave. Did she have a gun? Did you really truly feel your life was in danger? It doesn't seem that way. Call the police if you have to.

And you continued to let her come around, continued to put yourself in the position to be and feel taken advantage of. This is not rape. This is deciding to let it happen. I don't know why you're posting here (again?) because you want attention or you really do want people to feel sorry for you or what. But this whole situation could have been avoided. Don't cheapen the very real issue of male rape by posting a story about giving in and letting her do what she wanted and then crying rape. These are bad choices and decisions, to be sure, but not rape.

Title	So, I was forced into sex. (NSFW text) VERY LONG! : self (Same story posted earlier to /mr)
Author	rantgrrl
Upvotes	20
Comments	22
Date	June 2, 2011 4:21 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/hq0er/so_i_was_forced_into_sex_nsfw_text_very_long_self/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-i-was-forced-into-sex-nsfw-text-very-long-self.1039166 https://theredarchive.com/post/1039166

Comments