What's up red pillers. I'm in a dilemma where I feel 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' as Elliott Hulse would say.

These walls are closing in on me and whenever in my heart of hearts I feel I just need to go and do what I want, I repeat. What I want...it's always met with resistance.

This initial resistance was/is from myself but now it's from my parents.

The other day, I was asked by my mother 'what are you going to do now' , I said I was going to exercise and then she said and then what.. Almost in a way to provoke or get on my case, because I was allegedy 'not talking to anyone' I would strength train, eat and be in my room or watch the occasional TV.

So in her mind I'm not doing anything with my life, and yet yesterday she kept pestering to answer what my plan was. I do know what I want to do with my life, which is to play professional football or soccer as you guys call it in the states.

I told her that I got the training kit for the club I was supposed to go to two weeks ago in the south of Holland, but I resisted for the meltdown. And then I told her yesterday and shit went down.

Her reaction went from, your my son I care about your happiness and then a stern let's go together, I said I'll go by myself she said ok, and then was but your black, and this and that, border control etc etc and I just closed the door didn't say anything and went to sleep. As I leave the room she starts shouting my name.

My dad is pussy whipped so he goes downstairs and listens to her complaining saying why is he doing this blah blah blah. He then knocked on my door giving me some long lecture talking about easing her worry, making her content.

Stay here get a part time job, play football on the side, save money. You can't go by yourself, build a life, rent etc. I told him I have enough for the three months, and he would deflect it. Yet when I showed him the email of the club, it's almost as if his whole body language changed i. E.g it's a big club, I could retire, big payday etc.

And in his mind I think he's like damnnn what an opportunity, cause then he started talking about I've been working for so many years etc I told him it's not in my plans to do that. It's one or the other, which for me is playing football.

yet he is telling me to stay here, get a part time job, save money and play football on the side wtf??

So, if I stay here I don't to shit but weightlifting and that's bad and if I want to go and be a professional footballer that's bad. Wtf?

This led me to Google a bunch of questions on women like red pill women logic, women contradict themselves, empty nest syndrome, why do my parents hold me back, don't trust a woman, why do women lie, why women love drama, mothers can ruin their sons etc.

To make matters worse, I overhead her speaking to like what sounded like my older brother to, 'bring me back to my senses' who I think is also a mummy's boy/pussy whipped. Ever since he got a girlfriend all he does is chit chat saying we moved in, give us the family photos, looked what I cooked for her etc. We hardly speak anymore, he's got he's own life I have mine.

I've taken matters in to my own hands, I spoke with my bank regarding moving abroad, so I will have to open a bank account in the Netherlands.

I've set a list of important things, I need to sort out first. Any suggestions are welcome..

New Bank account Budget - over £2,600 (€3,490.91 to be exact) Netherlands province - documentation (acquired) I live in the EU so no need for visa Accomodation Book Ticket *Healthcare - only start paying after three months living there

Anything else...

Also, I have to be swift due to pre season and because of the referendum regarding staying in the EU on the 7th June, in two weeks. I don't want to leave later than the 6th.

Sorry mofo it's midnight the borders have closed.. Pay up your visa bitch. Of course it won't be implemented that quick if the vote is made but you get the point.

Please advise me bros. I always get 2-3 comments at best so please up vote this, so I can get as many thoughts possible from the asktrp community. Thanks.