How to break up?

IVIaskerade · 2016-05-25T15:51:43+00:00

How do I tell her it's over?

Talk to her and say "I don't feel like this relationship is working, and I'm not willing to continue on this path. We're going to break up."

What if she asks for the reasons why it's over?

You don't owe her shit. Either person can terminate a relationship for any reason at any time. Never explain yourself when you don't have to.

then she might try to make me reconsider, and I might do that

No, you won't. You will walk away, because that's what you said you'd do. Taking her back makes the relationship less healthy than it was when you broke up, and that's not a good thing. Whatever happens, you have broken up. You can still have casual sex with her, but nothing more than that.

From this point onwards, you are a single man again.

fnordsnord · 2016-05-25T16:08:24+00:00

High road or low road?

quicklogaccount · 2016-05-25T17:07:24+00:00

/u/IVIaskerade and /u/Dionelle were spot on.

What if she asks for the reasons why it's over? Then I'll have to give her the explanation and then she might try to make me reconsider, and I might do that.. I don't know.. so confused.

This is THE thing. If you are breaking up because of her poor behavior AND she still perceives you as high value, she might offer to cleanse herself. Would it fix it?
I bet a beer on No. You're looking into breaking up because you are checked out. It's nearly impossible to check back in.

So, bear in mind it's not about her behavior, and you'll be ok. If she needs an explanation, say the relationship is unpleasant and stagnant, and you're unwilling to put effort to change it. Don't allow her to do it (offers to change) because you're breaking up for you, not for her.

southinurmouth · 2016-05-26T03:01:28+00:00

Then I'll have to give her the explanation

you don't give her shit

hugotsao · 2016-05-26T10:00:37+00:00

"Just be a man, stop calling her" --Joey Tribbiani Not sure if these are the exact words.

abdada · 2016-05-25T15:08:49+00:00

Get busy doing other things immediately, break up with her right after.

Pull her aside one day and say "life is getting hectic for me and this relationship isn't what I want or need right now, I'm sure you understand."

Then bail. "I'd love to hang out more today but I really do have other plans."

Title	How to break up?
Author	AVeryExplicitQuestio
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	May 25, 2016 3:07 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4l039m/how_to_break_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-break-up.105956 https://theredarchive.com/post/105956

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