I posted on another sub but someone suggested I post here for more answers and advice

Hi! So I (F23) started seeing this guy (M28) last year. It was supposed to be a casual hookup but things moved on quickly and we started spending a lot of time together. We were working out together, staying in bed and watching tv and he’d literally beg to run errands with me. He eventually told me he loved me and wanted us to become exclusive and I loved him too so we started dating. He lived with his parents and didn’t have a job. I’m a student so I didn’t have much either but when I could, we split bills and sometimes I took care of things. The reason the relationship started as a hookup is because he was relocating to another continent and didn’t want anything serious and I also didn’t want anything serious but things got serious. We started January last year so it’s been almost a year. When it was time for him to relocate 3 weeks ago, he reiterated that he was committed to making our relationship work and that no need for us to throw things away cos of distance. We made plans that he’d invite me over once or twice once he’s settled till I can relocate next year after my school. Things were going great till I found out he’s been texting another girl (someone he told me he completely cut off) in the country he’s relocating to and as far as this girl knew, they were in a relationship and she was celibate for him. I confronted him and he said he started talking to her before him and I got serious and he didn’t know how to end it cos she’s depressed. He promised to end things and I refused to speak to him till he did. I went a whole week miserable cos I was blindsided by everything. He finally told her the truth (I know this for a fact) and they’ve ended things. I know I should be happy about this since it was what I wanted but I’m not. It’s like I suddenly can see the real him. He’s a liar, he’s lazy, he likes to live above his means, made me cut off every other men in my life, made all these plans with me with no intention of keeping them, can’t set his priorities right, has no control over his sexual desires and keeps acting like he’s doing me a favour. I know this isn’t someone I want to spend the rest of my life with but at the same time, I can’t let go. I know the reason he always asked to go on those errands with me was because he was afraid I’d find someone better. Same reason he always acted clingy in the gym. I spoke to him this morning and he kept saying he’s not sure he can do long distance but he’s willing to try for me. I don’t know why I can’t just end things. I don’t know why I keep telling him I still love him even though I doubt I do. This isn’t the first time I’ve let a man I don’t really like play me and I don’t know why I keep letting that happen. Not to sound cocky but I know I’m very pretty, I’m fit and I always try to be a good person so I don’t know why I can’t ever walk away. He’s meeting up with this girl on Wednesday cos she still offered to show him around after everything and I told him I’m not comfortable with that but he’s still going ahead with it. Why can’t I just tell him I’m no longer interested? I see the real him and I don’t like it but I can’t end things and I also don’t want him to end things. What is wrong with me?