How to be a HVW?

sstena · 2021-01-21T12:17:40+00:00

The way I see it, a "HVW" is not a book character that you have to put effort into becoming. It's usually who you are under the destructive coping mechanisms you've either learned or been forced to adopt.

Most of us have been raised to be low-key servants or supporting actresses to men, so adult women have already amassed impresive skills in anticipating the needs of others, monitoring their moods, valuing their choices and more.

Your job is to unlearn all of that, discover the individual woman that you are underneath all the roles you have been forced to inhabit. You may find you actually like some traditional roles, or that you like none of them. (For example: you may discover you enjoy cooking for others, and now you will do it on your own terms. You aren't required to either fully reject nor fully agree with traditional womanhood)

No adult human can reach their full potential if they are mothered, so shedding the "mom" charade adds value to other people's lives too. By giving people the space to face the tough but valuable experiences of growing up, facing one's own problems and taking care after oneself, you stop obstructing their metamorphosis into a full fledged adult. (For example: if your male friend was kicked out by his girlfriend, accompany him but don't give in to any knee-jerk reaction you feel to give him more support than you are capable of, like cooking for him, letting him move in with you, etc).

Companionship, loving physical touch, emotional support, and teamwork are invaluable elements that promote a healthy and thriving life. You don't need to be slim thick nor make a 6 figure salary to provide those.

So to be valuable to others you make sure you yourself thrive properly, you shed those roles imposed on you that you fiind useless and then you'll be in such a good place that you will offer great companionship, affection, support and team spirit to contribute to other people's thriving too.

This is my take. If something I said feels useful, awesome! If not, discard it.

Title	How to be a HVW?
Author	Determinedblonde
Upvotes	36
Comments	4
Date	January 21, 2021 8:27 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/l1udbx/how_to_be_a_hvw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-to-be-a-hvw.1059729 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059729

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