Thought Experiment: "Critical Custody Theory"

DouglasWallace · 2021-07-25T00:43:47+00:00

Custody bias is intersectional - disproportionately impacting fathers with some traits but impacting other fathers less.

The intersectionality of custody bias is not simple. It does not necessarily have a direct relation to the father in the determination of impact, or outcome from so-called Family Courts. While there may be some intersectional factors connected with the father, other factors are at least, if not more, important. These include the ideological bias of court advisers, the legislative area, the availability of genuinely family- or child-friendly mediation, the relative wealth of the mother and father (including which of them has legal costs support from elsewhere), and the treatment of the father when the mother makes an unsubstantiated claim of abuse.

DouglasWallace · 2021-07-25T01:05:39+00:00

Victims of custody bias begin to believe in the ideology that their fatherhood is inferior to motherhood. The internalizing of anti-father bias is not due to any weakness, ignorance, inferiority, psychological defect, gullibility, or other shortcomings of the father. Instead, it is how authority and harmful gender roles in all aspects of society contribute to a father's feelings of inequality.

The first sentence is not a synthesis of any surrounding statements and is too easily questioned/dismissed. I don't think it's even true, though there is probably some truth in it for most men (not that I wish to confuse Critical Custody Theory with anything other than coherent truth).

It is possibly better to state that a victim of custody bias has two psychologically sustainable outcomes for a father: he either maintains an anger against the injustice done to him and his children (I'm sure there's a name for this), or he accepts the discrimination against him as somehow valid and believes the unfounded concept that fatherhood is inferior to motherhood, or that his children do not need his care.From that, we are left with either (or perhaps a mix of) an anti-establishment rebel — created by the custody bias — or we have a man who internalizes anti-father bias. In either case it is not due to any weakness, ignorance, inferiority, psychological defect, gullibility, or other shortcomings of the father. Instead, it is how authority and harmful gender roles in all aspects of society contribute to a father's feelings of anger, detachment and/or inequality.

Oncefa2 · 2021-07-24T21:25:10+00:00

I really like this kind of logic.

There are some people here who will disagree, because they disagree with wokeness and critical theory in general, even when applied to men.

And it's understandable because of how people tend to use this type of logic to bully men.

But I like this kind of stuff for two reasons:

I think there's some truth to this type of logic, at least within reason. And to the extent that it makes sense, it makes sense to apply it to men, too. (Everything can be taken too far, but wokeism being taken too far doesn't mean it can't sit on fundamentally interesting and valid ideas).
Even if you disagree with critical theory, all this does is point out how hypocritical and flawed it is. Either your points make sense and need to be adopted by the wokes in woke spaces, or we need to accept that critical theory is flawed and that the wokes are wrong and need to shut up. So either way it's a win-win for us.

lcthatch1 · 2021-08-12T22:33:19+00:00

I would like to comment on #3 All fathers are affected by gender bias in family court.

It literally takes the mother giving up to have the court see the reality of a bad mother.

A father can merely run out of funds to fight a mother in court to lose his kids.

Let's say a ex husband is doing everything right and his ex can harass with court filings or accusations. He has to defend himself against sometimes false accusations that costs him money. This happens ALL the time. All she needs to do his have justification to take him to court bleed him dry and boom. Here are some examples In the last year my son has spend $15,000.00 dollars at least in lawyers and legal costs. She accused him of breaking her phone and damaging a door and later violating the protective order. The officer even said this is a weak case. But due to an unreasonable crazy ex-wife She sent a settlement offer. She gets full custody 400.00 a month in support he is required to take therapy for a year and pay for it. Blah blah blah She has sent several of these ridiculous offers he has to pay an attorney to respond. Meanwhile she is using her grandfather's wealth to fund her side. Or my nephew who is doing well divorced getting by cause he rents part of his house out so he can afford to live. But he did buy a dream car and rolled up in a it to get his kids his ex took him back to court to ask for more support because she thought he was in the chips

In my own experience back in the 90's my ex was homeless for a year prior was living in cockroach infested apartment. I begged the court for custody Judges responded with being poor is not justification to remove the kid. She had a legal aide attorney.

Like several thousand dollars later I got 50/50 and reduced support.

The irony is I got him at 14 due to a dcfs case.

She could have got him back if the dcfs caseworker had wanted to help her get there. So yea if you swing a dick you are fucked in the eyes of family court.

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