Have a possible ltr question

RPShitlord · 2016-05-30T05:11:23+00:00

Yes, it disqualifies her. The exclusive talk doesn't just come up, she must prove her worth for LTR, then she brings it up. Not fucking other men is one of the way for plates to show worth for LTR. My guess is you brought up the exclusive talk, otherwise you would have gone exclusive after her. For future reference, don't go exclusive until she does and brings it up and it's made explicit.

Retspihi · 2016-05-30T05:38:54+00:00

She's not girlfriend material. Keep using her

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-05-30T11:22:23+00:00

Here's the thing. Your problem isn't with the guy she fucked in between. It's that she kept it from you until you committed. You're feeling duped because she lied about the terms. Re evaluate your commitment to her. Because the terms just changed.

TheRedStoic · 2016-05-30T12:16:36+00:00

Well yeah, you've plated each other. You're not her focus, which isn't wrong, it's just a fact. Now she's a plate at most.

quicklogaccount · 2016-05-30T12:19:15+00:00

Did you bring the exclusivity talk?
If it was you, soft next. She was into other guys AND banging them. If she wanted the LTR, she would have said it.

Did she bring it up?
Tricky now. She hid the fact because she knows it lowers her value, so you have to think about what remained. Bear in mind that being slutty (or high n count) is a VERY STRONG INDICATOR for some serious issues that make awful LTRs, but not the issue itself.
If you can observe the absence of the issues themselves (Alpha widow, difficulty to bond, intense need for validation, etc), she's probably good enough LTR material, but for someone else.

The way I look at it, the deal breaker was her TELLING you. Unfortunately this is her way of saying "my sex was as cheap for him as it was for you, maybe even cheaper, and you have to accept it".
Personally I think the idea of "overpaying" for something is shitty, so if the girl used to offer sex for really little commitment from someone else she'd better to be WAY better than sex to dream of ever qualifying to an LTR, besides, naturally, having given me sex for cheap for starters as well. There are such women man, these probably make good LTRs you.
Unfortunately your girl also mentioned it. Notice she was a plate, she did nothing wrong, but she demanded you to comply with it. Again, it's REALLY unfortunate, but I don't think this can mean ANYTHING but her hinting you about your lack of enough value for her to own her actions for you.
If you think of still trying the LTR, I suggest you to escalate on sex. Make sure you had her best game.

Title	Have a possible ltr question
Author	imgonnabethegreatest
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	May 30, 2016 4:50 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4lnzva/have_a_possible_ltr_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/have-a-possible-ltr-question.106181 https://theredarchive.com/post/106181

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