There's maybe one time in my life where I probably was able to figure it out or at least able to exude that type of mood to people but after a couple of years I got tired of it but that leads me to believe that only true real men don't have to act or try to be considering.

I never personally saw any benefit into most manly things or even placing myself above other people dominating. But growing up as a man like I did I do not blame men at all for going to the extreme trying to live up to hypocritical and crazy standards of manhood

The same time I find myself not really being able to live fully without conforming again. And I take them for me because the most confident and positive points in my life word when I was not trying so hard and stop caring about what people thought of my masculinity yet at the same time, they are half been many times in my life where I have avoided embarrassment or confrontation or just being picked on, because I was so good at acting the part and conforming to a stereo type

But given the evidence I have found in my life I just can't really imagine any man that is truly a real man just because there are so many different versions of what that means and everybody's version is different and even if an individual man can check off each box, they're still going to be something not good enough for not manly enough

If it's not muscles then it's money and if it's not enough money then not a good enough car and then not a good enough car then not a good enough house and so on and so forth

Its exhausting.

I've been thinking about this hard because like a lot of men I wanted a girlfriend but now I'm really questioning how much time and effort is worth that girlfriend especially if she's going to be with me and such a lens that is eerily similar to 50s and 60s style masculinity