~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?Because JK Rowling should get booted out as a feminist, or at least get booted from any sort of transgender-inclusive group. Her recent tweets keep escalating her hate of trans women lol | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/12/21 04:23 PM |
| 5 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?I'm not sure JK Rowling is the best example to use there lol | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/12/21 08:02 AM |
| 6 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?I think it's more along the lines of its a political non-starter to compare any modern political happenings to Nazism out of a great deal of respect to those who lost their lives in WWII. Well, apart from stuff like what's happening in China and Muslims... that deserves the comparison. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/12/21 04:12 AM |
| 17 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?This type of thinking creates "misandry by omission" which basically means that less research, studies, analysis, and information is available on male victims and victimization and when it is proposed, it is often underfunded or rejected. Male victims of rape, SA, prison, human trafficking, sex trafficking, CP, domestic abuse, general violence etc are rendered invisible leading researchers and the general public to believe they simply don't exist or when it does happen, it's rare and not that ba… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/12/21 11:22 PM |
| 13 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?I mean that's true, you will see that issue in any ideology - even here among men's activists. But there are varying degrees of leftism (neoliberal, leftist, progressive), varying flavors of men's rights (MRAs, men's liberationists, male advocates)... But with feminism? It's like... feminist, radical feminist, or TERF (who just call themselves radical feminists). I know there's a lot of subgroups I'm not mentioning (or are unaware of) in there but I'd argue the average person that calls themselv… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/12/21 11:12 PM |
| 18 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?I mean I'd argue the political left at large has a PR problem but agreed. If people actually did the beneficial shit they promised you'd have so many fewer ambivalent voters. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/12/21 09:08 PM |
| 26 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?Sadly those are easily answered hypotheticals - "that's not real feminism" and "ugh TERF is a slur" respectively, depending on how much said feminist fits into TERF ideology | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/12/21 09:05 PM |
| 53 | Why is the burden of knowing "good" from "bad" feminism placed solely on men?Exactly! Like you'd think at some point that groups would splinter off and get labels of their own or at least some form of mainstream branding stating "this is (generally) who we are and what we stand for!" so the defining of feminism to begin a discussion wouldn't need to occur constantly. But that hasn't really happened. Well, actually, it sort of has. The feminist community rallied together and pretty collectively labeled and stomped down TERFs... which kind of proves to me that the "that's … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/12/21 08:40 PM |
| 19 | RIP Bell HooksOn the contrary, I think it's respectable for someone to take a stance of change even if they don't get everything quite right. I'm still not extremely familiar with her work but the simple fact that she didn't toe the traditional feminist line at the time most of her work was published about reducing the male population or completely mischaracterizing men, I'd say she's an important and valuable figure. Humanity isn't perfect, but we should reward those willing to initiate change even if they d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/21 06:01 AM |
| 5 | Faux-Intellectual Feminism hides the fact that the ideology is their religion.How are you holding up about it because honestly it fucking broke me | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/12/21 12:31 AM |
| 12 | Faux-Intellectual Feminism hides the fact that the ideology is their religion.I dated the equivalent of this person and it was about as hellish as you'd imagine. Clearly using past hurt as a way to say "you can't fucking feel the things I feel, so therefore I am morally superior to you". And that's why two and a half years of therapy hasn't worked much at all, because I was dumb enough to let her hurt feelings tell me who I was as a person. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/12/21 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Just had my first son.....Did some time in Houston myself and rocket launches are almost unilaterally out of Florida and California. Houston has Johnson Space Center but that's the hub for human spaceflight. Astronaut training, mission control, and crewed module design goes on there but not launches. Spacey stuff just not exploding things! | /r/MensRights | 01/12/21 10:44 PM |
| 3 | This complaint by a woman is strange to the brink of being incomprehensible; did she ever even give a thought to the possibility of there being invisible men?I think those are all fair points but having had a discussion very similar to this play out in real life, even the tiniest shred of empathy and understanding towards men goes a long way. My ex probably isn't considered conventionally attractive. She's gained a lot of weight over the last couple years and I think that's made things worse for her. But she has this habit about going on Twitter rants to describe how awful life is now that she's overweight and how men won't even look her in the eye a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/11/21 07:14 PM |
| 6 | What's the deal with the condescending attitude from those that hate men?"but men in charge did that to other men!" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/11/21 01:36 AM |
| 13 | What's the deal with the condescending attitude from those that hate men?That's the most truthful thing I've been able to discern from it. I would much rather be a victim of apathy and not whatever this is. So much of feminism seems to be "we don't need men, we are fixing things for women and don't care who stands in our way". Which is honestly fine by me. But the reaction to a lot of things at that point should be an open and honest "I don't care about that issue since I care about this one." Instead, there's just so much vitriol and anger. It's not enough to ignore… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/11/21 05:58 PM |
| 7 | What are the sexist things your significant others have said/done?I mean, kinda sorta. If I'm honest with myself it's left me with a deep, deep distrust of progressive women. To the point where I find myself fantasizing more about being in a relationship with a man because it feels like I wouldn't have to worry about the "men and women are SO DIFFERENT" tropes that she expressed in the relationship. I realize that's unfair and I'm trying to work through that, but it's like a mental block. The utter fear of going through something like that again has kept me st… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/11/21 05:52 PM |
| 7 | What are the sexist things your significant others have said/done?Oh, that was an extension of the argument. She got really mad whenever her friends wanted to see a movie and all voted to watch some action thing over a romcom. She started out making it to be an issue of gender roles and how it was weird that we market action movies as being male and romcoms as female. I can get behind that since I'm not a huge fan of gender roles, but she then tried to pin it on her friends as being sexist because they thought romcoms were cringey and that's "devaluing feminin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/11/21 05:47 PM |
| 29 | What are the sexist things your significant others have said/done?I could write several more paragraphs about this so if anyone wants more, oh boy I've got more. My favorite was her saying that women are more altruistic/caring by default, so it's no wonder that men struggled to care for others. This was driven by her insecurities that no one cared about her but manifested in a completely sexist bent. At some point it became clear she believed I literally could not feel as much as she did because I'm a guy. Repeatedly made small penis jokes, joked about inadequ… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/11/21 03:02 PM |
| 5 | Should We Have Sons? If So How The Heck Do We Raise Them?Honestly I don't know. People unhappy with being a man seem to be a few percentage points of the population, if that. There's a good chance that whatever kid you have will grow up to be well adjusted and comfortable with who they are. I mean, I understand you though. After I started getting gender dysphoria there's no way I wanted to bring a kid into the world knowing they could go through those feelings and not change who they were born as. Not that I really wanted kids before that, but it defi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/11/21 03:08 PM |
| 3 | Disney is Back To Normalizing Violence Against Black Men for Laughs... I'm So Sick of thisI mean, sure, the concept is as old as time... the real question is where such a concept should exist in modern society. You'll find very different answers from very different people. I imagine most of the people frequenting this particular subreddit find it to be distasteful as a requirement or a supposition that men need taming. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/11/21 03:54 AM |
| 8 | how to frame men’s rights/mens lib etc.?Honestly I think the only way around that is to embrace feminism as being for women completely. Like, doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with feminism, but a concentrated marketing strategy saying "feminism is for women" would definitely allow more male advocacy to take place once the link between feminism = equality for all is reduced | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/11/21 09:12 PM |
| 5 | "Transmisandry is actually just transmisogyny!"Goddamn that threat was hot steaming garbage | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/11/21 09:10 PM |
| 14 | Disney is Back To Normalizing Violence Against Black Men for Laughs... I'm So Sick of thisI think there's still some racial stuff in there that's worth dissecting. I mean I'm white so take this with a grain of salt but I feel like black men have to deal with being "brought to heel" as a stereotype more often than white men. Like, white men are written as bumbling idiots who do dumb stuff because they don't get it, and black men are written as wildcards who would be off doing who knows what if their wives and mothers didn't "train" them better. I think a lot of that stems from hardcor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/11/21 09:02 PM |
| 6 | Toward a new theory of gender II: on the harmful notion of 'toxic masculinity'Frankly I hate the term not because I disagree with it but because I've seen such hamfisted use of it by others. If used properly then yeah, it's an appropriate term and I don't really see any major issue with it because it does what it intends to and nothing more. Unfortunately I think toxic masculinity was just the buzzword the world needed at the time to bandaid a lot of male issues. People will come up to me in comment sections and be like "oh, what you're describing here is toxic masculinit… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/11/21 02:26 PM |
| 9 | The female gaze is shown to be incredibly powerful in American society by the amount of parents willing to cut a sensitive and important part of their son's penis off for the approval of their potential female partnersIt always turns into a comparison battle and for the life of me I can't fucking comprehend that. It's an objectively bad practice and immoral from the point of body autonomy. But the only reason most people seem to not be outraged by it is because the outcome is "minor"? Why the hell should that matter? I've literally seen parents go through more blowback from piercing their four year old kids ear than getting their infant son circumcised. And it's such an American thing to think that uncut peni… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/11/21 01:36 AM |
| 2 | Redditors horrified by girls being sold but ignorant of the widespread trade in boys during 10+ years of US occupationFair enough | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/11/21 04:05 PM |
| 39 | Why does feminism do such a poor job of dealing with men’s issues?Number 2 is the reasoning that most frustrates me and it's a trend I commonly see: a lot of feminists believe that they understand the male experience and male identity. What they don't understand is that they see male behavior from the perspective of (generally) women, and that absolutely skews things. My ex had some really REALLY fucked up views about guys and projected those on to everyone she saw. She believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that because she was a woman and "emotionally intuitive… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/11/21 02:28 PM |
| 10 | Redditors horrified by girls being sold but ignorant of the widespread trade in boys during 10+ years of US occupationAgreed. I wouldn't fault the average redditor, they simply don't know this exists at a widespread scale for men and boys too. I wish it would get reported on more, but the clicks probably aren't there. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/11/21 02:21 PM |
| -4 | Redditors horrified by girls being sold but ignorant of the widespread trade in boys during 10+ years of US occupationHave we really reduced our standard of discussion to quips? Feels like we need a meme thread... I don't mean to be rude but I guess I wasn't expecting to see the term "ledditor" today. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/11/21 02:20 PM |
| 3 | The Erasure of Feminine MenI got here too late but this is an issue that's affected me directly in really bizarre ways. Granted, I'm not plugged into trans spaces so I can't talk too much about the whole "trap" thing apart from my awareness of it was that it had descended into some trans or femme-adjacent irony. I'm pretty damn confident I've seen trans memes about being "such a good trap I actually became a woman" or something like that. I can see how the term might be offensive to some seeing as how it came from edgelor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/11/21 04:05 AM |
| 4 | The Erasure of Feminine MenI really don't understand why this is being upvoted. We lie all the time to be safe - women and men. Assuming all men are unsafe is sexist but assuming entitled assholes harassing you got your number are unsafe is not. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/11/21 07:41 PM |
| 3 | The Erasure of Feminine MenIf the guy is insistant she can call for help. And what, force someone else to help her? I thought we were about agency for women. You literally say that in your next comment. It is because women are not honest and always comply that those men feel entitled to someone numbers. If a store never called the police on those who don't pay then all customers would feel entitled to not paying. So let me get you straight here, you're saying that because women are occasionally dishonest about giving out … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/11/21 04:49 PM |
| 10 | The Erasure of Feminine MenA few women got assaulted because an entitled man wanted their numbers : well we should promote women lying about their numbers instead of owning up and telling guys upfront that no, they won't get their numbers. Uhh.. I'm pretty sure someone who would assault a woman for not getting her number is going to do so if she's "honest" and upfront about not giving it. This example is way out of line. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/11/21 04:42 PM |
| 6 | For a subreddit with so many open socialists, I still cannot fucking BELIEVE that MensLib explicitly bans discussion of "paper abortion"Holy hell I hasn't thought of that. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/11/21 01:07 PM |
| 16 | For a subreddit with so many open socialists, I still cannot fucking BELIEVE that MensLib explicitly bans discussion of "paper abortion"I actually got so pissed off at this I wrote to the MensLib modmail.... I absolutely expect it to go nowhere, but this was the straw that broke the camels back. Whenever they write out why financial abortion isn't to be discussed under any circumstances, they always add on "for consentual sex". So it's fine to talk about if there wasn't consent? I imagine they don't think it's appropriate for sexual assault victims to pay for child support of children borne from that assault. But if that excepti… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/11/21 05:50 AM |
| 10 | Why is MensLib so badI very much doubt that. Someone that far into extremist theory isn't going to view this place as anything other than "bitter men arguing in bad faith". You could probably sit them down and have them watch videos of WWII mass executions and they'd still argue that it's not misandry men die in war because men were in charge of the draft and selected men to die, and that it's not "systemic" (completely ignoring that men are historically the gender to die for others throughout most nations and recor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/11/21 04:49 AM |
| 2 | It is socially acceptable for lesbians/bi women to be creepy to other women, and women to be creepy to men on social media. And I'm sick of no one addressing the hypocrisy.This is gonna totally derail this thread but I've never heard of that type of club. I'm kind of interested in knowing more if they are open to men on the sub side of BDSM, but most fetish clubs I've seen very much limit male entry :/ | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/11/21 04:38 AM |
| 4 | Why is MensLib so badFor what it's worth, I'm in agreement with most or all of your comments. I don't think feminism is evil, but it has certainly been used against men for the betterment of women. I don't think the average self-identified feminist is bad, same for the average discussion on MensLib, but eventually it reaches a point where the wounds are too great and it's hard for people to gloss over the very real pushback feminism poses on male issues. I also would agree with you that I think we can be doing much … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/11/21 07:57 PM |
| 10 | What are your wounds?I really feel and fear this. My ex was a pretty garbage feminist and definitely emotionally abusive and I don't know what the hell to say if I'm asked about her in future relationships. Like, what, she pretended to care about everyone but turned out to be a borderline female supremacist? How the fuck do I not come out looking like the bad guy if I say we fought a ton of the time and she said some pretty terrible shit to me. I feel like I have to lie and give pretty moot indifference otherwise I'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/11/21 09:31 PM |
| 9 | What are your wounds?Yep that's my experience exactly. They don't want to be TERFs and they know the "right" things to say to avoid being explicitly trans or queer-phobic but it's definitely been clear to me that there's a major gulf between saying inclusive things and actually living it. I understand it's difficult to work towards that but I would also majorly respect anyone who said that they were actively trying to be better instead of someone who just regurgitated inclusive language. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/11/21 08:59 PM |
| 12 | What are your wounds?I've been thinking about something close to this lately and I think a big pattern that emerges in my life is one of betrayal. I'm not a masculine man, and I can pretend enough of it to get by, but I've had small bits and pieces of my life I've let my "real self" out and realized it's much much safer to keep it in, and I hate that. If I had my way I'd be the guy in frilly sweaters and leggings - like David from Schitts Creek but more colorful. Most men, or at least the tradcons, reject me outrigh… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/11/21 07:42 PM |
| 35 | What are your thoughts and opinions on comments like "we know not all men, but enough to be scared", "not all people are robbers but we still lock our doors" and "not all people have Corona, but we still wear masks" that are in respond to the comment "not all men"?That's exactly my stance on it but people seem completely unable to draw a line between reasonable actions and moral panic. I've often considered getting pepper spray or something to carry with me when I walk alone at night. In college I used to have to walk across campus very late and I did many things people said "only women do", like calling a friend or letting someone know my location. Having precautions to be safe is perfectly fine, it's when your actions start bleeding into profiling that … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/11/21 02:26 PM |
| 54 | do some women see men just as sex objects?I always get frustrated by this one not because of the number of women who do it but how many of them seem to be completely oblivious to the double standard. There's a lot of people out there that think it's "cutesy" if a woman expresses sexual desire even if it completely objectifies a person. Hell, my ex (super into radical feminism, body positivity) was on Twitter just last week openly thirsting over a new guy at her office because he was 6'4". Made me feel really icky because she often got p… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/10/21 07:34 PM |
| 1 | what do we think of this spiking story?I have no idea, it was awful to hear about | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/10/21 05:38 PM |
| 30 | what do we think of this spiking story?Don't see a problem with this. Whenever I go out I'm pretty careful to keep an eye on my own drink because you never know what might happen, and I'm a guy. There's a fraternity at the college I went to where it was definitely an unspoken rule that to become a brother you had to spike someone's drink, so it definitely happens. Never heard of spiking by injection though. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/10/21 11:39 PM |
| 17 | Can someone please explain why people think we’re misogynistic?I find it really interesting that White Feminism is pretty much the "next big criticism" of the ideology that's gaining traction. I feel like it's really just a label that the non-extremists have adopted to call out radicalized folks in a way that's "acceptable" within the framework. You know, because it could never be that some people are just radicalized, there must be some power dynamic at play. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/10/21 05:21 AM |
| 2 | I made a mens advocate icebergWith all due respect, patriarchy theory hasn't always been the framework feminism has been viewed through. Feminism up until about then 70s didn't really delve into much of that ideology. Around that time feminism started branching off between "there are societal roles prescribed to women and men and these are the ones that harm women" and "the patriarchy upholds these standards to harm women and benefit men". There's quite a few branches of feminism prior to the adoption of radical feminism tha… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/10/21 11:37 PM |
| 1 | Sexual taboos and female selectivity - they overlap, but they're not the same thingI think my issue with it is ascribing intent to large groups (millions) of people over thousands of years. I'm pretty sure I get where you're coming from as far as humanity eventually instituting behaviors that prevent war, but interjecting a consciousness to a collective has always read weirdly to me because I don't think humanity is very aware of such things on an conscious level. I'm fairly certain I'm being pedantic and taking a metaphorical piece too literally haha | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/10/21 07:45 PM |
| 7 | Sexual taboos and female selectivity - they overlap, but they're not the same thingI can't tell where I stand on it. I know the author is a stand up dude, but I feel like the evolutionary psych stuff is played out. I'm all about conversations on the flip flop of sex negativity though | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/10/21 05:52 PM |
| 1 | The sex gap - on causes, perception and consequencesSucking up to is different than better shielding yourself from unnecessary criticism. What you are arguing for is just as important as how you argue for it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/10/21 02:37 PM |
| 2 | The sex gap - on causes, perception and consequencesI really don't want to be a jackass here but I'm hoping to offer some advice (I know, unsolicited) that I think might help in the future if you want to discuss this type of thing with feminists. When I first looked through this post I was really worried it was some incel apologia. You've done a good job clarifying your points and showing you're not on the side of incels, but I realized that things felt a bit out of order. I know it can be uncomfortable from a writing standpoint but anytime I try… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/10/21 04:55 PM |
| 12 | Are men the enemy of women's reproductive rights?I absolutely love it when people get all weird around me when it comes to pro choice stuff and assume that because I look like a random-ass dude that I'm gonna be a member of the alt-right or something. I have some real offbeat issues with gender and sex and a result of that is that I've definitely had a few times where I felt like I would have had greater fulfillment in my life if I was capable of becoming pregnant and bearing a child. Apart from the whole "wtf this dude wishes he could get pre… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/10/21 06:19 PM |
| 43 | Are men the enemy of women's reproductive rights?Now that you mention it, I really can't imagine being met with much short of "you knew the risks, now suck it up and be a responsible father" if men could get pregnant. I mean, shit, fathers already get so much shit if they realize they are not economically or mentally ready for a child. That's a really eye opening sentiment. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/10/21 03:25 PM |
| 17 | As a leftist, do you sometimes feel internalized guilt about caring about men's issues?I feel like I at least try or desire to be one of those conscientious people you describe. I absolutely do feel guilt about all of this. The narrative that women need to be the sole recipient of any social justice is so strong that I definitely have felt icky that I care about men or men's issues. I certainly get the feeling like I'm not wanted or valued on the left and that's cut down a lot on feeling like I can find a place to belong there. There's just a general feeling like I always have to … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/10/21 05:24 PM |
| -1 | Gender double standards in NHS coverage of cosmetic surgeryI'm not sure I really agree with this comparison. One of them is an abnormal medical event, the other is genetics and biology. Male pattern baldness is simply a fact of life for most men. In that case it feels like the most apt comparison would be hair transplants or something similar for alopecia patients. As much as I want to keep my hair and realize a lot of my self image and other men's self image is tied to it, balding for men is simply not a medical abnormality. Women under the NHS systems… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/10/21 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Gender double standards in NHS coverage of cosmetic surgeryMan, this is crazy. I went to my doc asking for the same Rx and they basically said "hey, you realize this is a long term thing once you start it" but that was all. I need to get it refilled actually... | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/10/21 04:19 PM |
| 1 | r/MensRights self-censoringI guess after reading this I feel like I misunderstood you. There's definitely something to be said about being more firm and unrelenting in terms of men's advocacy especially with how easily it is dismissed or erased. That being said, there comes a point where that has a negative return on investment. I also think it's very interesting that historically social change has come at times when demands were held consistently and strongly, but those tactics seem to be working less today. I feel like … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/10/21 07:49 PM |
| 2 | Bravo, supreme court: we do need rules to stop men interrupting women | Eleanor MargolisEh, I've had mixed experiences with this. I agree with your first definition but I also think there's a common second one where there's a presumption that a woman is not knowledgeable about some more basic things in a particular field. Like a guy explaining how to change a bike tire going into detail about explaining what a "stem" is. It happens to everyone but I would agree it happens to women slightly more. I've definitely heard it IRL though. I've found good ways around it though is just to a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/10/21 05:05 PM |
| 7 | r/MensRights self-censoringI respect that you are allowed to hold your own views and opinions but I disagree with you on a lot of stuff. We don't need extremists taking the heat, the extremists only sell out our cause and give people ammunition to dismiss men's activists as a whole. Likewise I think most of us here are sympathetic to incel/MTGOW culture as theories but less so in-practice. Like, it's incredibly isolating having little physical and emotional intimacy with someone and those issues disproportionately affect … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/10/21 04:58 PM |
| 2 | In ‘The Last Duel,’ Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Want You to Know They Know Men Are BadThis comment really, really stuck out to me. I think it's because it reflects the general attitude I've felt among the most radicalized of the feminist friends I have had. Your average every day "women face disadvantages" feminist isn't gonna have an attitude like this. But to make it to the upper echelons of radicalization, you have to pretty much accept at face value that the only way for men to be as terrible as they have been, is because we are the ultimate icons of selfishness. And if you t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/10/21 06:17 AM |
| 9 | Many countries still practice male only conscription, included so-called "gender equal" countries such as Austria and FinlandThis has been my frustration for a good long while. For whatever reasons, probably a lot of social priming, people aren't willing to look at things men experience in a lens of sexism. Their brain short circuits to some less-offensive interpretation. Hell, I'm a guy and I catch myself doing it a lot. For men, the outrage just isn't there, and any attempt to view men as victims is met with cries about "oh you're just trying to be oppressed" like... what? I know women have it bad but this isn't a c… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/10/21 05:54 PM |
| 34 | Men's Rights Advocate here - What does this community see as the primary differences in stances between this sub and r/MensRights?You'll get different answers from different people. I think the biggest tangible difference is that there's a very broad acceptance of transgender folks, as well as acceptance of those who don't desire traditional gender roles or expression. I've seen a lot of contention among the MensRights crowd along those lines when the tradcons come in. As someone who wants to be more femme-presenting than I am, it's nice to know that a wide array of people don't have an issue with that. There is a hefty am… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/10/21 05:47 PM |
| 2 | The question of militancyOh, I guess I've missed those. Meh, if it's already been clarified I won't beat a dead horse... or feed a fed horse, whatever PETA wants us to be saying now lmao | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/10/21 06:07 AM |
| 3 | The question of militancyNo offense, but why refer to feminists as YKWs? It's fine to say it, it's not like they don't exist or it's some curse word that must be avoided in good conversation | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/10/21 07:02 PM |
| 13 | Can we talk about thisNot to mention how they feel entitled to their allies and demand so much from them, but don't even give basic decency/ respect in return. It's honestly quite cult like and abusive. This alone has caused a lot of rifts in my feminist friendships. First off, I always love the assumption that I'm a straight hetero religious cis white male. Happens every damn time, and I'll be hit with the "you wouldn't understand any of these things we're talking about". There's no thought that I might be bi and no… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/10/21 06:02 PM |
| 5 | Can we talk about thisI guess I'll be devil's advocate simply because of the subreddit it's posted in. If it were r/datingoverthirty I'd be a lot more upset about it, bit the weird truth of the world right now is that among zoomers there are some bizarre as shit trendy things regarding mental health. I mean, it's not too crazy to imagine the millennial "there is no light inside" emo ska archetype morphing into a perpetual sadboi zoomer one. People will do bizarre things if they think it will net them attention. I hav… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/10/21 08:02 PM |
| 10 | How did intersectionality go from nuance/empathy to oppression olympics?I mean, my counter to this is who is disproportionately represented among the poor. You're not wrong, but it's actually a good example of this post. Poor people are an incredibly vulnerable portion of society, but black and brown poor people have the additional challenge of systemic racism thrown in | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/10/21 12:59 AM |
| 20 | How do we see women?[...] because if people in general did not believe that women needed to be catered to then they would likely ignore their grievances much like men's grievances are ignored. Really tricky indeed. This right here is why deep down I fear men's advocacy won't really go anywhere for the time being. We are making leaps and bounds as a society but somewhere deep down it always seems like people are more than willing to ignore men and expect us just to deal with stuff. A huge recent frustration of mine … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/10/21 08:08 PM |
| 15 | My friends that identify as women keep sharing these misandric posts. Some are single, some have boy friends, and I wonder, should I say something?Where did you see me giving them a pass? I'm as frustrated as you are with these types of things being thrown at men because it's suddenly "edgy" to do so. I'm just being real and saying that engaging the people that post these by insinuating they are hateful will lead to you being dismissed outright because they probably don't see it as hate. It's fine to call it what it is (hate) outside of an attempt to change their minds, but otherwise it's like going up to a racist and yelling to them that … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/10/21 05:07 PM |
| 9 | My friends that identify as women keep sharing these misandric posts. Some are single, some have boy friends, and I wonder, should I say something?For the life of me I don't understand it either. There's a huge space between "I like dicks" and "I think transmen are women in cosplay" but people will have you think they are the same. It blows my mind. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/10/21 04:45 PM |
| 23 | My friends that identify as women keep sharing these misandric posts. Some are single, some have boy friends, and I wonder, should I say something?So the quirky thing is, most of these people don't actually hate men, or at least will claim that they don't. It's like the MTGOW subs, they say they don't hate women but they sure do post a lot of crap that implies hate against women. Why? Because they are frustrated with the current situations regarding dating and relationships. If you pressed the poster of this meme to say whether or not they actually hated men, they'd probably call it irony or venting. The big issue is that subtext goes out … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/10/21 04:39 PM |
| 28 | How do we see women?Definitely a tricky subject to bring up. I'd definitely agree that there's a ton of misogyny out there that women undoubtedly still face and women aren't exactly treated like they are wonderful in many situations. We (society) still easily write off women as gold diggers, attention seekers, call them bitchy/bossy when they are assertive, stuff like that. At the same time, I don't think the average woman truly understands how often they are given the benefit of the doubt. That's really where I fe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/10/21 04:33 PM |
| 2 | So, AskFeminists finally recognized that we exist....Maybe I should use the report button more then. I've been seeing generalizations against women trickling in here more often as of late. Sometimes they are caught but sometimes they go under the radar | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/10/21 02:44 PM |
| 1 | So, AskFeminists finally recognized that we exist....There's nothing wrong with criticism, but when the comments on a post start delving into "of course they would think this way, they hate men", straight up putting feminism/women into a category of something "other", I start getting skeeved out. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/10/21 01:58 PM |
| 50 | So, AskFeminists finally recognized that we exist....Frankly I think this is the whole reason the sub sees way more male issue posts than "left wing" political posts. There's definitely an implicit "we agree with the left on 90% of issues" chilling in the undercurrent of this sub. We'd see a LOT more general political posts if the left mirrored our views on male issues, but it does not. So much of the effort here is spent trying to put male issues into the framework of the political left. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/10/21 12:25 AM |
| 15 | So, AskFeminists finally recognized that we exist....You got a link to that comment because that sounds like a fun thread | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/10/21 10:14 PM |
| 49 | I am a woman. I am autistic. I don't see how this sub is supposedly misogynistic or hateful.It's been really sad to see the progression of "privilege" in the pop-feminist lingo. It used to be nuanced and that men were privileged over women in specific ways, but soon evolved into a blanket "men are privileged, so any issue they face doesn't matter" for too many people. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/10/21 08:01 PM |
| 8 | So, AskFeminists finally recognized that we exist....I checked out the thread and I agreed with some parts of it. There's a lot of feminism-bashing outrage-porn here and while it's definitely frustrating as all hell to be faced with members of a movement that occasionally write a male issue off because they can't be assed to be empathetic... it wouldn't hurt to promote more academic discussions | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/10/21 07:56 PM |
| 9 | Watch people twist themselves into pretzels to justify female privilege as equalityThe problem isn't them not being a good potential partner, it's that the amount of people open to guys wearing makeup overall is very few. I've considered wearing makeup out (am guy) and I realize it's a self-selecting effect, but it doesn't change my odds that for every person that's fine with it there's about 50 people that find it disgusting. You're getting caught up here not realizing this very individual situation of men and makeup has vastly different social connotations surrounding it | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/10/21 07:31 AM |
| 28 | It's literal gaslighting when feminists respond to men who bring up the ways they're disadvantaged in society with the phrase "When you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression"I get that women are struggling for equality in other domains like income etc. But just because we have some privileges doesn't mean they don't have other privileges. It's always been a major slap in the face to me when people seem not to believe this, or believe that women's issues are so much worse that we cannot tackle men's and the best we can hope for is some type of "trickle-down equality". There were branches of feminism from the 70s that seemed to perfectly sum this up. They were all abo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/10/21 07:23 AM |
| 1 | LWMA Lounge October 2021Oh man, as an engineer I totally feel this sentiment. Arrival is a fantastic movie but feels like a horror film with how much logical inconsistency and hand-waving goes along with it. I truly don't understand how something like Star Trek creates such a believable world while the science is completely useless, and something like Arrival can be so "science-based" and miss the target so much. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/10/21 09:36 PM |
| 8 | Rebutting "men need to learn how to be emotional with other men!" and the likeThis is very well written. Thanks for your perspective! | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/10/21 09:14 PM |
| 17 | Rebutting "men need to learn how to be emotional with other men!" and the likeThis is exactly my experience. I've seen many women believe that they are really intuitive and can pick apart and deal with emotions well, but then when confronted with them really struggle to even process them much less be supportive. I suppose I'm a bit bitter because in my previous relationship I had to learn all the emotional ins and outs and how to be properly supportive but she skated by on her existing belief that she knew it all. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/10/21 01:51 PM |
| 9 | Interesting how Bumble only supports women-led causes, and the only way to access the rest of the app is to chooseI once had someone try to argue to me that being a man is better on dating apps because they didn't have to deal with the constant stream of shitty people matching with them. She literally could not wrap her head around the idea that women are not inherently better quality matches than men. Just because men match less doesn't mean they don't have to wade through shitty people, it just means it takes longer to find a decent person. It was a frightening conversation | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/09/21 11:01 PM |
| 6 | Interesting how Bumble only supports women-led causes, and the only way to access the rest of the app is to chooseI agree with this take. It's also a private company, they can do what they want. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/09/21 01:34 PM |
| 25 | Interesting how Bumble only supports women-led causes, and the only way to access the rest of the app is to chooseThe refrain I've heard is that while women get vastly more matches, those matches generally end up being mainly thirsty dudes with few boundaries that are very demanding or rude. I don't really think it's wrong to give women the chance to wade through all of that and be the person initiating conversations but... it's not like they couldn't do that with Tinder. And I think it's especially interesting that with Bumble - whose whole shtick is having women message first - most women choose to open w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/09/21 01:33 PM |
| 2 | I don't know why it took this long, but I just realized that a fair amount of the left feels that sexism against men has the same urgency of racism against white peopleSo the way I've come to internalize it is that the vast majority of racism towards POC today is unspoken. People rarely go full mask off and go on some slur-laden tirade. As society pushed back on racism, racist people learned they couldn't voice their opinions without significant social consequences. So they internalized their views. There's still a lot of sentiment in a lot of people that POC are less trustworthy or are "thugs". But they won't ever say the quiet part out loud because they know… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/09/21 06:32 AM |
| 8 | I don't know why it took this long, but I just realized that a fair amount of the left feels that sexism against men has the same urgency of racism against white peopleWell the point I'm trying to make is that they aren't equivalent. Racism against whites should be taken seriously but I'm wholeheartedly willing to admit it's a massive rarity in my life - but sexism isn't. The mistake that a lot of those power dynamics people make is assuming gender operates similarly to race, and it just... doesn't. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/09/21 04:42 PM |
| 15 | Crime Has No Gender And Never WillThis is exactly it. I don't have any issues with feminists claiming that men commit, on average, more crime than women. It's true, I'm not trying to claim anything different. The issue for me is when people refuse to examine or straight up ignore any factors that might lead up to it and demand that they be allowed to react to a problem a certain way as long as they never have to address potential solutions to it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/09/21 05:25 PM |
| 6 | Crime Has No Gender And Never WillThe backup to this is "I'm just saying" or "facts are facts, you should be concerned about male violence too!" Which becomes an impossible scenario because there's no way to convince someone you care about men being the perpetrators of violence enough to make them happy | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/09/21 04:51 PM |
| 3 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionI know that this practice should be really insulting but frankly I've started to let it slide more. Sure, it's dumb, but it's better to be able to talk about male issues without the threat of being called an incel over your head and someone denying your beliefs straight up. I hate playing the game but if it's more likely to get someone to turn the crank on critical thinking and realizing issues at least exist that's... a step in a direction, if not a step in the right direction. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/09/21 01:58 AM |
| 6 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionAgain, I'd argue that LGBT isn't a group - the left welcomes LGBT people and so there's a weird social contract where optically, LGBT folks should welcome the left as well. Personally - and I wholeheartedly admit I'm no expert - the LGBT people I've interacted with seem to break down fairly closely to the general population regarding their attachment to various extremes of feminism. I will say, a lot of trans activism gets caught up in feminism, which is nice except for its usually super ignoran… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/09/21 01:55 AM |
| 6 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionFair, I've just noticed that a lot of the progressive left will drool over traditional gender roles, but only when it's applied to men. But since they won't admit it to themselves, they have to rebrand it in the ideology to try to pass it off as something new. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/09/21 01:51 AM |
| 10 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionYep, they are theoretically fine with discussions about circumcision (and I've seen someone get away with one), but any parallel or comparison to FGM is a huge no for the mods. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/09/21 01:48 AM |
| 6 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionI'm pretty sure the radical feminist left and tradcons are one and the same when you get down to the dirty details | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/09/21 01:46 AM |
| 10 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionTheir logic (and the logic of those that hate the idea of financial abortion) is that the needs of a child outweigh the needs of anyone else involved. So a father can't skip out and endanger a child's upbringing by not providing for it. It's one of those leftist positions that I don't really understand. It's always painted as deadbeat dads trying to get out of obligations they should have, or fathers that don't love their children (but should). People can't seem to grasp the idea that some men m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 10:35 PM |
| 6 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionCan't wait for artificial wombs. Imagining the whole abortion debate being over is just... awesome | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 10:30 PM |
| 2 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionDo they do that for comments? I've suspected mine get caught in there on this account | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 10:29 PM |
| 8 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionI'd really hesitate to draw that parallel ad LGBT isn't an ideology and not every LGBT person agrees with radical feminism. If anything I've seen some damning arguments from gay guys about the misandry a lot of feminists tout. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 09:58 PM |
| 10 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionTo be fair, circumcision isn't a topic you can discuss there if you simply mention FGM existing somewhere nearby it | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 09:54 PM |
| 1 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionCertainly in a perfect world for both parties, but I think politically that would be a hard sell. Gotta concede somewhere 😂 | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 09:53 PM |
| 13 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionI agree with a lot of this. Ultimately, parental rights turns into anti-capitalist promotion at some point. It's dumb that such a financial burden exists as to force men to pay child support in the first place. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 06:01 PM |
| 146 | The Justification given for r/MensLib's Ban on Legal Paternal Surrender DiscussionI'm just upset that the discussion IMMEDIATELY becomes "well if you don't want to become a father, just don't have sex!" Like, what? Excuse you? This, from the movement that spent a whole decade preaching sexual freedom and had lengthy discourse that sex can be recreational? And so many try to argue that it's not the same situation. They aren't wrong, but they are missing the point. A woman can choose to abort a child where a man cannot. The situation would be the same in some weird sci fi world… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/09/21 05:59 PM |
| 23 | Feminist TikTokSeriously. As a man with like... a crazy low libido, to the point I've seriously contemplated if I'm asexual - most of that video was just a man describing sexual drive. And I admit, I don't feel a lot of the things he feels. But not feeling those things doesn't make me feel like some better person. I don't feel like I'm "more of the solution". If anything I feel disconnected from malehood because I'm don't feel a strong attraction to women (heteronormativity aside). He makes half a decent point… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/09/21 07:54 PM |
| 34 | Why it is not just cruel, but outright dangerous to humiliate imbalanced men.This is just frankly a really rough topic to discuss. I encourage you to take a look at r/FemaleDatingStrategy and come back after four or five minutes. Now, be honest - how much empathy do you feel for those people over sheer anger and frustration? If I'm honest, if I scroll through there I don't feel much. That's the kind of thing women are feeling when they are faced with incels. It's just really difficult to empathize with someone who hates you, regardless of how much hurt has gone into thei… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/09/21 04:47 PM |
| 8 | Dear Menslib - we tried to tell you.Uhh... call me crazy if you want but I don't know what your issue with "heteronormative" is or "systemic oppression". Systemic oppression I can get because it's easily misused. But heteronormative basically means "you forgot about LGBT folks" and I think that's worth bringing up in relevant conversations. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/09/21 05:05 AM |
| 6 | Feminists protest against equal retirement age in Switzerlandand that would have absolutely nothing to do with the expectations that men be strong and ready to sacrifice/provide, right? Men are just too stubborn to get the health care they need | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/09/21 02:44 PM |
| 10 | Feminists protest against equal retirement age in SwitzerlandGood thing most men aren't your deceased uncle? No disrespect to him, of course. But you do realize there's a lot more going on then men being too stubborn to go to a doctor, right? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/09/21 01:23 PM |
| 5 | Democrats Continue to Struggle With Men of ColorWhat the actual utter fuck is this article. I'm all about giving people the benefit of the doubt but it's so clear to me this man did not consult anything but his own twisted thoughts when he wrote this. He has clearly never attempted to understand conservatives before. Growing up in that environment taught me that all the shit the left has to say about them is nothing but cheap shots or shame tactics. No one on the right is changing their vote because you call them a racist or say they hate wom… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/09/21 11:15 PM |
| 28 | TV special on body image dissatisfaction among both men and womenI think what sucks is that the common attitude to this is "men are just now starting to approach women in terms of body dysmorphic issues" Like... no. The only reason you're hearing about it now is because someone FINALLY got the research dollars to look at it | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/09/21 01:28 PM |
| 3 | The myth of incels and self-worthThat's something I hadn't thought of that I can definitely understand happening | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/09/21 01:25 PM |
| 7 | “We need more male mental health professionals” is something I’ve been told and “men should be more willing to go to therapy”. Is something else. This is an excerpt from an introduction textbook in my grad program. I wonder why men aren’t going to therapyHonestly, I think the whole privilege argument is groups talking past each other. Men have privilege over women in certain situations and due to certain expectations but it's also true that women have privilege over men in certain situations and due to certain expectations The whole thing of who is aggregately privileged over another (if you can even quantify that) has zero actual use when applied to specific situations. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/09/21 12:47 AM |
| 18 | For ABGTQ+ guys. What can straight guys do to make you feel more included?Just don't make it into a big deal. I'm pretty closeted about my bi feelings because I know the minute I come out about them then I lose access to all the male friendships I have. It's not like they wouldn't be my friend but they'd definitely be more on guard and any vulnerability from me would be perceived as sexual (can't get a hug anymore because someone will think I'm falling for them). It's just frustrating because I know once that shoe drops then both women and men will be suspicious of my… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/09/21 01:25 PM |
| 1 | We need to be vocal about misandry in movies and TV – A case for Amazon's CinderellaI hate that I love hearing the kinds of affirmations people come up with but I'd love to hear a few memorable ones | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/09/21 04:55 AM |
| 3 | We need to be vocal about misandry in movies and TV – A case for Amazon's CinderellaI'm down, it's a particular interest of mine and something I think deserves a lot of attention. I mean personally I imagine it being only loosely tied to men's issues and used more as a vehicle to explore the vast range of ways men are portrayed, but maybe that's just me. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/09/21 04:54 AM |
| 6 | We need to be vocal about misandry in movies and TV – A case for Amazon's CinderellaI disagree tremendously and think that's giving them the benefit of the doubt too graciously. Entering the workforce has taught me one very important thing: we spend a lot of time and money making sure the things we put in the world are just so. In all of this - the pitch, the screenwriting, the writers room meetings, the casting calls, the rewrites, the production, the months of editing, the stakeholder meetings, the corporate signoffs... someone brought up your concerns. That someone was shut … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/09/21 04:51 AM |
| 7 | We need to be vocal about misandry in movies and TV – A case for Amazon's CinderellaI personally wonder how long it will take before these become overused tropes and the pendulum starts swinging the other way. Plenty of women I know are starting to tire of the "poorly written female character existing only to show the Men who is boss" movies guised as empowerment. They want decent movies with decently written women without all the pandering | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/09/21 06:17 PM |
| 1 | In the series 'Oldies but Goldies', a classic by Cathy Young. She was then still a moderate criticizer of feminism, and MSM still published articles like this.In “The Feminine Mystique,” which sparked the great feminist revival of the 1960s, Betty Friedan saw men not as villains but as fellow victims burdened by societal pressures and by the expectations of their wives, who depended on them for both livelihood and identity. I'm continuously baffled that radical feminism usurped this as the trendy belief to have. It's like they had the truth for a hot second and then did a 180 and said "oops, wait, the car is only big enough for women's issues" and dro… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/09/21 06:07 AM |
| 4 | A reminder about the Duluth Model.I get how frustrating it is, and I've been in many of these situations and basically told to my face I mattered to someone less because I was a man, but I think it's worth a reminder that this shouldn't be the time for dehumanization. Feminists don't end up the way they do out of thin air, and while it's perfectly fine to be upset at the shit some people spout and not treat them with kid gloves, they're still people too. Hopefully, what was radicalized can hopefully become deradicalized with tim… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/09/21 04:04 AM |
| 15 | A reminder about the Duluth Model.Every time stuff like this gets posted I'm just astounded at the lack of good faith from the feminist camp. And I feel like I've probably started to get a reputation here as someone who will defend many parts of feminism. Like, the numbers are showing that women initiate violence more than previously thought, and your first thoughts are how this will undermine women? If someone brings up a bunch of statistics about how men do the majority of this or that, yeah, I get that the numbers can sting s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/09/21 04:01 AM |
| 7 | Penis shaming: can we actually talk about it?It's rather unfortunate too because every time this is brought up, one feminist friend of mine goes full anecdotal - "well, I more often see a pretty woman with a less pretty man IRL so this isn't an issue we need to tackle!" Like, no, that misses the point, and I'm pretty sure you just admitted that your standards of male attractiveness are through the roof | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/09/21 02:21 PM |
| 5 | Penis shaming: can we actually talk about it?Ugh, I've always hated this too. Penises are pretty damn good looking regardless, but I especially love uncut ones. I don't understand societies fetish with circumcised dicks, but I've literally had people comment on posts of mine who had an actual fetish for it and were trying to convince men to get cut. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/09/21 02:19 PM |
| 14 | Penis shaming: can we actually talk about it?My hot take on this is that society doesn't care enough about male bodies to put much positivity toward them, end of story. Like, with the amount of tumblr memes going across the internet that go "straight women being attracted to men is proof that you can't choose your sexuality" it's pretty damn obvious to me that most male bodies aren't even considered worthy of positivity. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/09/21 02:17 PM |
| 1 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionOh lol I'm a guy As for college, I ended up having a fling and she missed her period a couple times. Cue the obvious question of, wow, is she pregnant? If so, what do we do? Does she get an abortion? Do I want to be a father? All that kind of stuff | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/09/21 11:07 PM |
| 1 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionFrankly I'm not sure I really am well prepared for a debate on it simply because my views are that it's a complex topic and I don't have a well-established position outside of some base tenants. I really start disagreeing with abortion as a concept at the stage of viability, I feel comfortable saying that late term abortions are not something I'd agree with. The exceptions being significant health issues of the mother or knowledge that the baby has health issues that will lead to an agonizing li… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/09/21 12:11 AM |
| 4 | Griet Vandermassen wrote about the Plymouth shooting!Hmm, interesting. I already find myself an oddity for being one of the few non-straight guys who notices and acknowledges the problems in the dating scene That's actually... really interesting, and not something I think I've noticed. What do you think is happening? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 10:10 PM |
| 9 | The myth of incels and self-worthYeah it's crazy getting people to imagine men as anything other than a monolith. The amount that a lot of gay men have sex makes absolute sense to me - if male and female gender roles were reversed and men suddenly found themselves in great demand, the average dude would definitely engage in more sex. It's well established that bi men engaged in LGBT culture get far more male attention than female. Yet people want to believe they are just slutty sluts who can't help their sluttitude. Most gay me… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 07:50 PM |
| 2 | Feminists and ex-feminists: What info/event made you become an egalitarian?Well agreed, but that's only really applicable in our little corner of the internet. If you went up to a woman on the street and said you were anti-feminist they'd most likely assume you want a 1950s lifestyle with women back in the kitchen where they belong. I just feel like you sometimes have to act with what your audiences perception of feminist means rather than necessarily one you believe personally. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 01:17 PM |
| 7 | What would everybody think of a LWMA dating sub?I actually think there's a lot to be said about "rational action" when dating. I've gone into a lot of alt-right threads and many guys there are absolutely terrified to talk to women out of fear of false accusations and the like. As sucky as it is, being able to hold a mental line of "my actions were reasonable and this person is being dramatic" is incredibly helpful for one's mental health. Right now the conversation has been dominated by women that demand that men view actions as reasonable or… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 01:13 PM |
| 1 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionI think we both know full well I can't answer that. But I think we can also agree that men don't have enough appeal in society to necessarily demand our issues be acknowledged. It's quite frustrating, I agree. I have a close female friend who is up in arms (rightfully) about the abortion issue, but wrote online that all the men who "circlejerked" about the idea of financial abortions should be out in the street protesting it. All I could think of was where were you when it came to getting rights… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 01:01 PM |
| 13 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionI appreciate the perspective, but I'm always flummoxed by these lists like pregnancy is this net-negative thing. I don't want to minimize these things but it's always been hard to hear "hey but this is actually an awful thing" when it's something we can't experience. Like, maybe it's just gender dysphoria at play, but I'd definitely take the ability to become pregnant if it were magically offered to me. But that's just me haha. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 12:50 PM |
| 5 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionI've replied to said comment (or one further down the tree). It's a matter of rights and impacts. I don't think this particular case is one where less abortion = more equal, because the right to financial abortion is politicized in an entirely different manner than physical abortion. So while I think that using equality and society's propensity to protect women to ultimately eliminate a sexist institution (e.g. the draft) is possible and not always wrong, I don't think it has the same impact for… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 04:41 AM |
| 10 | What would everybody think of a LWMA dating sub?I'm conflicted on this. I think the whole dating advice genre as a whole needs a huge paradigm shift, but I'm stumped on how to make that really happen. My big (cynical) question is: what could this subreddit say that hasn't already been said before? I avoid most dating advice subreddits because they are either depressing as hell or everyone seems to be talking past each other. Frankly, I think dating advice is just difficult to give in general - people are asking for long-term methods to attrac… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 04:36 AM |
| 12 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionMy awareness is that that is when a "heartbeat" is detectable in fetal tissue. Generally, 22-24 weeks is when viability outside the womb starts. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 04:29 AM |
| 11 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionThe draft is one of the few places that I could consider this "tactic" to have potential... I just don't see it working like that here. I boil it down to outrage and impact - this ban is likely to impact a large number of people fairly quickly. Whereas (as much as I hate it), women being added to the draft is likely to impact far fewer people yet garner enough outrage to drop the draft completely. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 04:26 AM |
| 16 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionYeah I'm going to pull a hard disagree on that one, chief. You're welcome to have your own opinion but I cannot see that as a viable way to solve this instead of something that will create bitterness and divisiveness on all sides. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 03:28 AM |
| 11 | The myth of incels and self-worthOh yeah, I've tried to advocate for incels still being human beings and I'm always met with scorn. It definitely got a "you can't be fucking serious" from an ex which was fun. A lot of people want to believe in this sheer force of will where they're like I'm not an incel so I don't see how anyone would ever become one. Mostly completely ignoring that they don't live the lives of these people, or that there might be some greater societal issue that might lead large numbers of men to act this way.… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 03:26 AM |
| 47 | The myth of incels and self-worthWell, I don't think they're completely wrong on this issue, given that incel is short for "involuntarily celibate" which does imply that sex is the main issue there. But I think the mechanism in which incels start calling themselves incels isn't lack of sex - like you say, it's lack of intimacy. And if there's one thing I know about being a man, it's that intimacy is one of the rarest things we can find. But hey, sex is somewhat intimate, right? So there's a huge conflation - most feminists thin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 03:10 AM |
| 5 | Should we make our own archive site for this sub and other resources we find valuable?It depends, I guess. Archiving is great, but I don't feel like I'm alone when thinking of how people's eyes just glaze over if they are hit with paragraphs of lists and just write whatever it is off as "radicalist" ramblings. That being said, there are a lot of posts and comments that have had very well written insights to men's issues and I think those are worth saving | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 02:58 AM |
| 22 | It's not a men's issue, but we should have a discussion about abortionMust be nice having this kind of support. I mean, absolutely - I'd love to feel like the world had my back on any male issue nearly as much as there is outrage for this one. But it does us no good to stand back and be bitter about it. Being the better man is, for better or worse, the window that men's activism has to operate in. In the long scheme of things, this will not stand. And people can always abort before the sixth week or travel to other states, which is more options than men have curre… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/21 02:20 AM |
| 4 | Feminists and ex-feminists: What info/event made you become an egalitarian?I think the downvotes here are unfair. There's nothing wrong with being pro-women, and feminist is simply the easiest and most universal label we have to show that right now. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/09/21 01:31 PM |
| 2 | Feminists and ex-feminists: What info/event made you become an egalitarian?Wow, you just made something click for me. It's not that most feminists care more about FGM more than circumcision. They're just afraid that people will start putting the two in the same conversations and having the same ambivalence towards FGM that most people do to circumcision. They KNOW circumcision is seen as mild, and have no interest in changing that. Fucking hell. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/09/21 01:28 PM |
| 10 | Feminists and ex-feminists: What info/event made you become an egalitarian?For me it was definitely having a relationship with a radical feminist. I still would consider myself a feminist in the right crowd, but my views definitely more align with egalitarianism/humanism. But to say the relationship was bonkers is a complete understatement. I realized at some point in it that she was a raging hypocrite. At one point I pressed her and she basically admitted that she did not give a fuck about men (kinda hid it under a guise of "I won't care about men until we care about … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/08/21 01:52 PM |
| 31 | Feminists and ex-feminists: What info/event made you become an egalitarian?It's so fucking dumb that they leap forward into the comparison so often when that is absolutely not my intent. I shouldn't have to argue that the severity of ANY mutilation makes it worth tackling. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/08/21 08:21 PM |
| 1 | How popular magazines ridiculed and glorified a case of female-on-male abuse whilst trying to fabricate a "trend" around it.It's quite the kicker. Finally there's a generation where I might not get beaten or stabbed for being femme but now I gotta deal with conniving gender essentialism wrapped up as social justice | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/08/21 02:30 AM |
| 1 | How popular magazines ridiculed and glorified a case of female-on-male abuse whilst trying to fabricate a "trend" around it.Eh, mid 20s. And I did say it was sexist and that it hurt and was promptly told that my hurt didn't negate the harm that befell women by non-empathetic men, and by challenging her on it instead of listening I was proving her point. She was a real piece of work and I've since lost all belief that she'd change or care about men, at all, ever. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/08/21 01:45 AM |
| 4 | Is my life important anymore?I don't think you should have gotten downvoted but I think it's just an existential proposition. Men can't escape gender roles until people are willing to fight them since we've decided as a society that men have no say in what roles they are given. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/08/21 08:55 PM |
| 13 | Is my life important anymore?At the same point, there is something to be said about bucking the system. Not in a way that condones redpill/MTGOW stuff, but just so much of the "advice" towards men will always boil down to "shit sucks, you gotta play the game to win", but if everyone does that then we go nowhere. It's okay to at least express that the system is dumb and you're only playing the games because you have to. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/08/21 06:10 PM |
| 10 | How popular magazines ridiculed and glorified a case of female-on-male abuse whilst trying to fabricate a "trend" around it.I've had the belief said to my face while in a relationship that I am a man and because of that I lack some degree of empathy that others can access. Both intrinsically due to biology but doubly because of my identity. It actually has messed up the view of myself to this day. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/08/21 06:33 AM |
| 5 | How popular magazines ridiculed and glorified a case of female-on-male abuse whilst trying to fabricate a "trend" around it.My ex is like these people. She'll gladly get on any train of shame if it involves someone who has been perceived by the feminist twitterverse to be a misogynist. Most of her progressive beliefs about loving everyone and not adding hate into the world fly out the window once said person has been identified. It's fucking nonsense and I hate having to be the guy that says "yes, X person may have done a bad thing but people do not change if you relentlessly attack them. She does not, will not, and … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/08/21 06:31 AM |
| 2 | A 'guide' for boys and young men - would like your thoughts on this.I'm not sure if you're advocating for redpill stuff here but... that's all well in good in theory. Just like MGTOW is ideologically sound, in theory. Just like many equality-based movements are beneficial, in theory. Sadly those ideologies have to often be divested from the people that practice them as those people will time and time again become further and further radicalized. I think we can mostly agree here that even though the redpill is, in theory, just a movement designed to recognize mal… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/08/21 04:37 AM |
| 18 | Why is "the male experience" so ill-informed?I think this is probably the most correct answer. I see a lot of women approach the conversation saying "we are women, we experience sexism that you do not see and feel" - projecting the view that because some men are blind to sexism then we must all be. Or worse, that men face so little sexism in comparison to women that our experiences are at best that of those of a billionaire complaining about housing taxes - nevermind there's an endemic of male suicide. The solution is even more frustrating… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/08/21 03:37 PM |
| 8 | Autogynephilia, "Transmaxxing" and Chris-chan Are men transitioning to escape male gender roles?So I'm just going to skip over the whole controversy over AGP and whether it's a real feeling or not. I will say, as someone who has experienced dysphoria before, there's much more to transfolk than anything the theory of AGP posits. Trans people are real, they are transitioning because of pain and internal conflict about their gender identity vs. body, not because they find themselves aroused at the idea of being another gender. That being said - the question of "are men transitioning to escape… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/08/21 04:28 PM |
| 3 | If you could make society understand the full impact of one gender issue, what would it be?It's especially hurtful when the sentiment around that kind of statement becomes "they feel entitled to a relationship!" when really for most men they just want greater reciprocation of the effort they are putting in | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/08/21 12:14 PM |
| 30 | To our detractors. Where is this hate?I asked if this was an antifeminist community a while back and the general consensus was "maybe, but with caveats". Like, no one here wants to slide back to rigidly enforced gender roles or walk back any women's rights. But a lot of the people here reject patriarchy theory as a main driver of gender relations - which has been a core tenant of most feminism since the 70s. Personally I'm tired of trying to explain why I reject half of feminism and accept the other half. I don't consider myself an … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/08/21 05:52 AM |
| 26 | To our detractors. Where is this hate?All it took was a thread about the industry I work in to realize the average redditor is a misinformed moron. I say that as a misinformed moron myself. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/08/21 05:47 AM |
| 12 | Do you think women can be privileged in their choice of occupation.I mean, yes, absolutely. All you have to do is look at the number of women who are able to take on their "dream jobs" compared to men. I knew a lot of women in college that never really gave their major much thought because they wrote pursuing something they loved, not necessarily something financially stable. Most of the guys I met had made a decision early on to drop majors they had interest in if they weren't going to be financially viable compared to their plans. Don't get me wrong, it's a d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/08/21 05:45 AM |
| 12 | To our detractors. Where is this hate?The cynical person in me says the kid has to be about half that age to garner sympathy but hey you never know until it happens. Personally I think the idea overall is just necessary from a mental health standpoint. Realizing that the bulk of women don't want to kill all men and are actually able to be reasoned with was instrumental in keeping me sane over the last few years. I would have probably killed myself or transitioned without having at least some grounding with those who don't make their… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/08/21 05:06 AM |
| 2 | Scientific journal apologizes amid backlash over Canadian professor's essay criticizing diversity hiringEngineering haha | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/08/21 02:38 AM |
| 24 | To our detractors. Where is this hate?Yknow I like this sub and see it has a lot of potential so I will engage the question at hand. I do have some criticism of this sub in that I feel like we spend too much energy complaining about clear-cut misandrists or engaging in outrage porn. I can't even say I'm not guilty of either myself, but I feel like something may be missing in the current state of the sub in terms of keeping a tamper on potential leads to radicalization. Whether that's encouraging discussion on positive interactions w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/08/21 02:17 AM |
| 2 | Scientific journal apologizes amid backlash over Canadian professor's essay criticizing diversity hiringAgreed, I just don't want the conversation to be solely about saying "the number of women in STEM is largely influenced by interests" when I've met several people that debated dropping out because they felt unwelcome in the field. Sounds like we agree though 👍 | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/08/21 11:54 PM |
| 7 | Scientific journal apologizes amid backlash over Canadian professor's essay criticizing diversity hiringHuh, in my job it's way closer to equal. I work in a really weird, government-adjacent STEM industry and our ratio of men to women is like 60:40, it's DEFINITELY not the STEM-ish average of 80:20. I'm pretty sure my company is doing some selection by gender, but they seem to be doing it across the board? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/08/21 08:34 PM |
| 6 | Scientific journal apologizes amid backlash over Canadian professor's essay criticizing diversity hiringI would argue that it depends on the field. I'm in a competitive STEM field myself and there definitely needs to be a conversation around how people interpret it as a men's field and make it seem like women "just don't do that sort of thing". On the other hand, the utter inability of society to do the reverse for female-dominated fields is ridiculous. I hear story after story from men in those fields who feel Othered just because of their gender. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/08/21 08:32 PM |
| 14 | Scientific journal apologizes amid backlash over Canadian professor's essay criticizing diversity hiringExactly. Diversity hiring is a panicked attempt at a solution to the actual problem at hand, which is often the lack of equal distribution of merited candidates across gender/racial lines. Like, I understand why it's being pushed for now because we can't exactly go back 30 years and give equal access to education, but it seems like everyone is perfectly content with this as the only solution and I'm not seeing a push to fix things before it becomes an issue. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/08/21 07:25 PM |
| 15 | Article: Where are the women fleeing Afghanistan?This reminds me of immigrants here in my home country in the US. I grew up in an area with a large Hispanic immigrant population, and husbands/sons supporting their families across the border were commonplace. While I suppose they did get to benefit from "the American dream" to a degree, they still were far overrepresented in high physical labor jobs | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/08/21 05:53 AM |
| 2 | I usually don't post about other reddit drama, but the amount of open misandry in threads about Afghanistan is disturbingNot quite as explicitly but there's a healthy dose of "why won't the men take up arms and protect everyone as their government is falling!" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/21 05:03 PM |
| 4 | Incels. Why empathy works better than derision.I like the way you write | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/21 06:29 AM |
| 23 | I feel so hated for being a manThere have been several discussions on the "validity" of feminism and how much you can no-true-scotsman an ideology that means so many different things to so many different people so I won't really go into that. I'd probably call myself an egalitarian or women's (and men's!) rights activist before I took on the feminist label. Anyways, I digress. I would ask this as a genuine question: for someone who is questioning whether or not society actually cares about them because they are male, how dire… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/21 06:23 AM |
| 6 | I usually don't post about other reddit drama, but the amount of open misandry in threads about Afghanistan is disturbingInterestingly enough, the author of the article paints the US's focus on women as an affront to women and exhibiting a disregard for women's lives. I don't think that's so much wrong as just tone deaf. Being used as a political pawn is still an affront, it just doesn't stand up well to the idea that the US used women specifically to get people to care about the war. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/08/21 08:18 PM |
| 1 | I usually don't post about other reddit drama, but the amount of open misandry in threads about Afghanistan is disturbingWhoops, I can't read. Appreciate the catch. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/08/21 04:43 PM |
| 24 | I usually don't post about other reddit drama, but the amount of open misandry in threads about Afghanistan is disturbingOh yeah, none of my feminist friends understood why I panicked as much as I did for that. They were worried about the country falling under attack, I was worried about having to go to war. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/08/21 04:39 PM |
| 12 | I usually don't post about other reddit drama, but the amount of open misandry in threads about Afghanistan is disturbingThere's a reason for that. Most men that are above the age of majority are counted as "enemy combatants" regardless of their potential affiliation. You can be labeled and counted in death tolls as a terrorist simply for being male at the wrong place at the wrong time. Granted, that's an Obama-era policy, but I have no reason not to believe it's still in effect. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/08/21 04:38 PM |
| 118 | I usually don't post about other reddit drama, but the amount of open misandry in threads about Afghanistan is disturbingI was shocked to find all of this in one single thread. Not with the initial comment, that was very informative. It's the latter ones with people believing and advocating that men be cannon fodder. People making jokes about men for being desperate enough to cling to airplanes as they take off, for the mere chance of escaping Afghanistan. The women in Afghanistan are completely deserving of empathy as the Taliban take over and remove a lot of the rights that were established for them. But the men… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/08/21 01:21 PM |
| 3 | Women don't feel safe going outside... but I don't either?It's an ignorant stance because if you just observe the world, live in it a bit, have empathy and listen to each other you quickly see that it's not the whole truth. That's the danger of ideology, you can trap yourself into a simplified view of the world. She's not wrong per se but she chooses to ignore an entire part of reality. Maybe she thinks if she admits the fact that men can be afraid too it removes the legitimacy of her experience when in fact it doesn't. This is actually exactly how she… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/21 03:41 PM |
| 22 | Women don't feel safe going outside... but I don't either?You know, there's a lot of definitions of "patriarchy" that abound, but this definition is one of the ones I most subscribe to. Like, it shouldn't take a genius to see that the average man isn't reaping significant benefits, but the men at the socioeconomic top sure are. Where we've gone wrong is half the population of progressives have adopted the "men dangerous" belief which will only prop up the system longer. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/21 04:48 AM |
| 3 | On the sexual assault of menLiberated might not be the best way to describe this trend since it implies that as women get more gender freedom they assault men more. The report (or at least the abstract) uses "higher status" which implies that it's at least more along the lines of social status/power. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/21 04:17 AM |
| 1 | On the sexual assault of menAre people misremembering things due to social norms? For example, are women recontextualizing consensual sexual experiences as non-consensual, and vice versa? I feel like this needs a touch more nuance, simply because it's a fair point. There's been so much discussion and redefinition of sexual norms that for some scenarios this seems valid. Stuff like "I wasn't really feeling it so I said no and then was pestered until I agreed to sex" was much more accepted 20 or 30 years ago than it is today… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/21 04:09 AM |
| 7 | Avellone Legal Response Evidence Shows Accuser Eager for Deeper Relationship with "Con-Boyfriend" After Alleged Incident - Niche GamerI'm so confused about why nearly ALL of more-than-likely false allegations from women come via spurned lovers (or potential lovers). Like, I've been through brutal rejections, but I've never once thought about utterly ruining a person's life forever. Sure, it's pretty natural to fantasize about "getting back" at a person somehow, but by like, suction cupping 20 dildos to their car or something. Where the fuck do people feel so entitled to say "if I can't have this person, I'm gonna go scorched e… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/21 04:02 AM |
| 9 | Offensive Behaviors and The Spectrum of MasculinityI think this is one of the most frustrating things about being a man in the current day, tbh. Everyone demands you aren't toxic, but they simultaneously demand you be exciting. Those two can't happen simultaneously without someone being offended. I'm firmly in the green here. If I weren't so internet-aware I'd probably describe myself as a "nice guy" haha. I grew up with sisters, dated a radical feminist - I'm very empathetic toward what women go through, and they do go through a lot. Yet, I'm t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/21 03:56 AM |
| 4 | Tokenization/fetishization of LGBTQ menThis is probably one of my "hot takes" as a leftist, but the sheer amount of trans "pushing" that the left at large ignores is utterly terrifying and needs to be reexamined. I've had the unpleasant experience of going through bouts of dysphoria and despite all of that I'm not certain I'm trans and don't identify as such. However, during the times I was trying to understand or get a handle on those feelings, the only option presented to me was that I was undeniably, incontrovertibly, transgender.… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/08/21 09:18 PM |
| 5 | Tokenization/fetishization of LGBTQ menI think it's less an attempt to tear down anything "masculine" - though admittedly that does happen often - most of the time I've seen this kind of response it's by "woke warriors" who are trying to virtue signal by "helping an LGBTQ+ person find their identity". So no departure from established gender roles is taken as anything less than proof that there's some repressed identity hiding underneath the surface and it's their job as a good ally to eek it out of the person. To be quite frank, it's… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/08/21 06:47 PM |
| 5 | Toward a new theory of gender: an evolutionary take on the rigidity of the male gender roleYou know? Agreed. It's one of my main issues with what anyone tries to say towards men, whether they be feminist, from r/MensLib, redpillers, or from r/MensRights. We're always told to just let everything slide off our backs. I guess it's partially because it works, but that takes a lot of effort. It's great if you can ignore the shit people throw at you, but it's not always going to be reasonable or fair, and acting like it's never okay to be upset and angry about it is sad. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 11:58 PM |
| 7 | Toward a new theory of gender: an evolutionary take on the rigidity of the male gender roleI hate, hate hate hate, evopsych "arguments" for things since most of the time it devolves into overly-conservative ramblings about how men should protect women and women should be put in their place. But this does a bang-up, politically neutral job of describing why things might be the way they are today, how we aren't beholden to those roles forever, and why people's reactions tend to be overblown when men go out of their expected borders for masculinity. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 08:17 PM |
| 5 | I (MtF) just got banned from a transgender sub for arguing that it is mostly misandry, and not misogyny, is the true cause of the rampant discrimination against transsexual womenThe response to that comment had me rolling. It's one of the weirdest, most virtue signaling replies I've ever seen on the internet. Ever. Which is saying something. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 01:52 PM |
| 12 | I (MtF) just got banned from a transgender sub for arguing that it is mostly misandry, and not misogyny, is the true cause of the rampant discrimination against transsexual womenUgh, this makes me not even want to be a man. Apart from all that, thanks for posting it. I get so fucking sick and tired of the whole "society hates femininity" line that's repeated ad nauseum whenever a guy wants to go out of his box and try something new. It's not that society hates femininity - society absolutely LOVES a lot of femininity. It's simply that people are punished for going outside their gender roles, and tend to get punished worse than women in that regard. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 01:37 PM |
| 10 | A common response to males committing suicide 3x times as often as women is “That’s because men choose more violent & lethal methods”, with misandrist implications that it’s a result of men being inherently violent. In reality, studies show that even using the same less-lethal methods, men die more.Pretty sure I had this discussion with my ex and it's one of the things that solidified the realization that she actually believed men were just emotionless freaks | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 01:29 PM |
| 13 | A common response to males committing suicide 3x times as often as women is “That’s because men choose more violent & lethal methods”, with misandrist implications that it’s a result of men being inherently violent. In reality, studies show that even using the same less-lethal methods, men die more.Sorry, to clarify, I'm not up in arms about the title of the post implying that it's misandrist to say men choose more violent methods. Definitely up in arms about the male suicide rate, and as someone who has gotten close to attempting myself, I can definitely say there's not many good resources for men out there. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 05:16 AM |
| 5 | A common response to males committing suicide 3x times as often as women is “That’s because men choose more violent & lethal methods”, with misandrist implications that it’s a result of men being inherently violent. In reality, studies show that even using the same less-lethal methods, men die more.Mm, I'm not sure I'm up in arms about this one. Edit: the title, I'm definitely up in arms about the suicide rate in men More violent methods means like... Men are choosing a bullet to the head relatively more often than women are choosing pills as a suicide method. One of those is pretty cleanly more "violent" of an end than the other - it's the method, though, not the action. Though, admittedly, I've seen some MAJORLY misandrist takes on male suicides/suicide methods that I just can't fucking … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/08/21 04:55 AM |
| 3 | why are these male senators pro anti male discriminationI'd wager that republican senators are in a group of their own outside of republican voters. Hell the whole Jan 6th debacle pretty much proved that. Only the senators "allowed" to walk the line of bipartisanship did, the rest were pushed to be Trump/qanon sycophants. Your average republican senator is nowhere near your average voter. Same with the dems tbh. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/08/21 06:45 PM |
| 5 | Cringe culture and the victimisation of neurodivergent menHonestly I just try in my own life to highlight that most of these type of people mean no harm and would more than happily change their behavior if someone took the damn time to explain social rules and expectations to them. For some reason, I tend to mesh really well with the fringe society types and people who are vaguely on the autism spectrum. They are weird, yeah, but most are either legitimately clueless on why they are weird. I've had whole discussions with a coworker about his social exp… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/08/21 12:36 AM |
| 35 | why are these male senators pro anti male discriminationWell, because they are Republicans. Which isn't to say that the left wouldn't block women from the draft as well, but republicans are doing it for different reasons. Most of those reasons are chauvinistic or sexist. Men fight in war because they are the strong ones, drafting women would cost MORE men their lives because women wouldn't be able to keep up. That's of course bolstered with the patriotic "men must sacrifice themselves to achieve value in our society" shittery. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/08/21 12:28 AM |
| 4 | Save your commentsAgreed. It's not the worst I've seen on reddit but it was definitely up there a lot of the time. Most of the people here are frustrated with the double standards (which, interestingly, is exactly how the women's rights advocates see it too - for a long time MTGOW existing on the site was proof that we don't care about misogyny). The long short of it is there are too damn many hateful subreddits. I'm all for removing misogyny, misandry, transphobia, and racism from Reddit, but they seem to have a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/08/21 05:43 PM |
| 9 | Why do some of you choose the label "anti-feminist" instead of "anti-hate" or others?That's basically No True Scotsman fallacy. You don't get to just ignore portions of groups you don't like. One could make a similar arguement about incels. There are many that spew misogynistic crap but hey, some are just lonely guys trying to cope. I mean... I do make that argument for incels though. A lot of incels absolutely do spew misogynistic crap, but there's nothing inherently wrong with recognizing that one has issues getting dates/laid. It's the same for the MTGOW crowd too. There's no… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 02:15 PM |
| 4 | Why do some of you choose the label "anti-feminist" instead of "anti-hate" or others?Sadly, you make some real points about male suffering. I can see how a lot of pop-feminism wants the "women are always disadvantaged to men" belief to have a leg to stand on ideologically. Once you posit that as a truth, most sexism towards males is rendered invisible. I guess it's just upsetting sometimes that significant nuance needs to be held on both sides to have productive discussions regarding gender roles. If I were to get rid of anything in mainstream feminism it would be the belief tha… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 01:58 PM |
| 4 | Why do some of you choose the label "anti-feminist" instead of "anti-hate" or others?I'm wondering why it seems like such a beneficial turn of phrase and I think I like it because it puts the onus on the receiver to evaluate or examine their beliefs to see what was the hateful thing said. If you go and say you're anti-ideology (feminist, mtgow, christian, pastafarian, whatever) then you've done work for them - there's no introspection that needs to occur, they can just write you off. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 06:47 AM |
| -1 | Why do some of you choose the label "anti-feminist" instead of "anti-hate" or others?Interesting perspective. Obviously I disagree but I think you've spoken quite eloquently and put a lot of weight behind your views. Surprisingly the cornerstone of your argument is the one I debated using as an example in my post: patriarchy. Admittedly, this is a major sticking point for me in terms of accepting feminist arguments. Is the "patriarchy" simply a system in which the predominant "spoils" (wealth/rights/whatever) have been unequally distributed to men? Or is it one where men seek to… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 06:39 AM |
| 10 | The MGTOW situation.Well yeah I'm not saying those don't exist. They do and they should be on the chopping block for reddit. You're implying their ignorance of misandry is proof they will act in bad faith towards men's subreddits when right now all its proof of is that they will act in good faith towards women's subreddits. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 02:20 AM |
| 12 | Why do some of you choose the label "anti-feminist" instead of "anti-hate" or others?The predisposition of people to go anti-feminist-hate rather than pro-mens-rights is so frustrating because it's simultaneously valid and invalid. Like, of course we should be spending our time on bettering men's lives and not necessarily worrying about an ideology with women as it's main focus. But also, there are people who's whole existences seem to revolve around invalidating men, and they tend to do so under the guise of feminism. An ex of mine was pretty hilarious about this. She'd argue t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 02:07 AM |
| 2 | And it is also a wake up call for subreddits like r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates, which is a space that actively combats misandry and anti-male strains of feminism.Fair enough, I just want people to be aware of the fact that people will bring up the "allowed" existence of predominantly-male hate subs as a way to justify not caring about men at all. Which is awful but it's gonna happen. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 01:58 AM |
| 2 | MTGOW finally banned by reddit admins, what do you think of this?No idea what the straw was that broke the camels back but I'm glad it's gone | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 01:56 AM |
| 4 | The MGTOW situation.psh, you know I can't read | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 01:55 AM |
| 7 | The MGTOW situation.We also have no evidence to say that they ban subs who haven't committed grave offences. Unless you know of some I am not aware of | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 01:55 AM |
| 42 | The MGTOW situation.Don't get me wrong, I hear you, but I think the concern is a bit overinflated. If we get banned it's going to be because of an influx of bad actors from other subreddits that overwhelm the moderation team. The established rules have clear markers that hate and misogyny aren't welcome. We're sitting pretty good as far as opposing hateful speech. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 01:38 AM |
| 1 | MTGOW finally banned by reddit admins, what do you think of this?To be fair, pseudo-feminist subs do get banned (GenderCritical being one of the more well known ones), they just don't get as much talk. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/08/21 12:35 AM |
| -1 | And it is also a wake up call for subreddits like r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates, which is a space that actively combats misandry and anti-male strains of feminism.Devils advocating here just bc I made a post about it recently but wouldn't the longer lives of most men's subs show a societal bias towards men as so many of these people are claiming | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/08/21 12:54 PM |
| 6 | And it is also a wake up call for subreddits like r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates, which is a space that actively combats misandry and anti-male strains of feminism.I mean if we're playing by those rules then the same can be said about r/MensRights. They certainly try to mod the misogyny out, but some of it does end up sticking around for much longer than you'd like. Granted, part of the difficulty there is filtering out comments that are disparaging of women but not so angry as to come out and state full misogyny. Either way goes to show that an agile mod team and a hard-line stance on misogyny will likely go a long way. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/08/21 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Why are men bitter and in such a deep denial over why they're rejected?I mean that definitely describes the existence of most men, which is kind of sad. Most guys I know have started saying "if" they get married, not "when". Something changes in your 20s... | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 03:37 PM |
| 3 | Why are men bitter and in such a deep denial over why they're rejected?As others have commented, it's for a myriad of reasons and not just one singular thing. A large part of male success is proving we are worthy enough for a partner. So whether conscious or not, there's a lot of pressure at play and it's easier for some men to say "hey it's HER fault for not liking ME" and move on with that. A couple factors that haven't been considered in other comments are female socialization and type of rejection. Women are largely socialized to be polite and meek so when an e… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 01:46 PM |
| 0 | Why are men bitter and in such a deep denial over why they're rejected?And if your want to be progressive and learn to be better then you'll go against the grain and find and get rid of this hatred that so clearly exists inside of you. Uhh, there's not much that OP is saying sounds like hatred or sexism. It sounds like a legitimate question where she's only had the experience of being female - and that experience comes with a generalization that "men" take rejection more poorly than women. OP seems open to refining their position (specifying unattractive men and no… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 01:08 PM |
| 16 | What do you like about this sub?You know, I agree with this. I have my issues with this sub and frankly it is damn hard to avoid circlejerking over problems with the sheer amount of content available to sift through. But the times when real issues and experiences are discussed this really shines as a place where men can be heard without needing to prefix their thoughts with proof they care about gender equality. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 05:09 AM |
| 7 | How sexism is handled on the internet (a.k.a Reddit) - towards women and towards menIt's actually one of those things I can't decide fully on. On one hand, offering a platform where hate can congregate and grow is not good at all. On the other hand, removing it from one platform doesn't solve the problem at all, it simply shifts it to somewhere else. There's probably something that can be said about keeping things in a confined observable space. Personally, I feel like seeing how Trump largely vanished from the public eye once he was removed from Twitter shows that deplatformin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 04:58 AM |
| 4 | Apparently, misandry doesn't exist (as r/BlatantMisogyny welcomes misandrist mods)It's doubly dumb because not only does it undermine men's issues, it undermines women's as well. That sub could be a great place for having real conversations about misogyny and instead they are circlejerking about pop-misandry | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 02:57 AM |
| 10 | Apparently, misandry doesn't exist (as r/BlatantMisogyny welcomes misandrist mods)Sometimes I wonder if redditors have forgotten what trolling is. Not everyone is in on the "joke" here - they've gotten to the point - like most hate groups - where their jokes have started attracting legitimately hateful people. Things usually don't stop there, that's the point snowballing begins. Kind of feels like an indicator of a tipping point. Misandry is here and it's the new cool thing. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 12:42 AM |
| 10 | Apparently, misandry doesn't exist (as r/BlatantMisogyny welcomes misandrist mods)I dunno. I'm not that upset about it honestly. If it's a troll it's a shitty joke and if it's not a troll it's just shitty. I think I'm more upset at the attempts to normalize misandry or justifications of "doesn't it suck to have people hate you? Well that's what we've been dealing with" as if MORE suffering and hate is what the world needs. Oh, or the fact that any man who disagrees with this is labeled as "so fragile" because they aren't sitting there stoically taking the shit smashed in thei… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/21 12:40 AM |
| 43 | Apparently, misandry doesn't exist (as r/BlatantMisogyny welcomes misandrist mods)I think the real kicker here isn't the post itself or the huge number of comments agreeing that misandry isn't a thing (shoutout to the commenters who disagreed) - it's the assumption that even if misandry exist it doesn't affect men at all and we should simply ignore it. I would love for them to browse r/malementalhealth and report the same thing with a straight face Even if it is "trolling" it's bad trolling and if you have to back up your hot takes by saying they are a joke then maybe it's ti… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/08/21 09:10 PM |
| 18 | To what extent should women and men be allowed to operate by different rules?And of course it's implied that differences in outcome are because of oppression or sexism, but again only against women (when it's against men it's "backfired" sexism against men). Which itself is actually pretty sexist against men. Like systematically and institutionally so. Sigh, I just read a whole post somewhere where a guy commenting made several statements about issues men struggle with... ... and then said they were all due to misogyny because if we acknowledge less that women can be abu… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/07/21 09:09 PM |
| 65 | To what extent should women and men be allowed to operate by different rules?Quite frankly I think a lot of the standards are "doubled" when they don't need to be. I hate hearing the complaint about being afraid to walk home alone at night not because it's invalid, but because I feel the same way and it's always assumed that because I'm a man that "I've never felt that fear" or if I have "its just not in the same way". Like, yo, I'm wearing leggings and earrings. I'm worried about being hatecrimed here and you're assuming I can't be afraid because I have a penis. So many… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/07/21 05:34 PM |
| 5 | Men are not monolithicI'm not sure if you read the rest of my comment? That's meant more to say the posts occasionally begin with the assumption that the reader is acquainted with the various issues facing men and already acknowledges their existence. They don't do this all the time, but enough that I wonder if a radfem would come across it and dismiss it out of whole cloth as "MRA drivel". The highest quality posts, in my opinion, are the ones that begin a few steps before this and are designed to challenge the basi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 03:08 PM |
| 0 | "Men have oppressed women throughout history."Emphasis on less options and same class I think this is where you're getting the majority of your downvotes from. It's impossible to create an apples-to-apples comparison about oppression since so many differing gender norms exist. The bulk of this sub is probably going to say "who is to say whether women were 'more oppressed' when men were expected to provide, fight in wars, lay down their lives" etc. Once you acknowledge that average men on a global scale weren't necessarily doing fantastic fo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 01:49 PM |
| 0 | Men are not monolithicI think some posts are overly presumptive that men's issues exist in the first place. Which is fine if you're someone concerned about men, but if you're trying to incrementally break down this whole gender war thing you can't always go in guns blazing saying "men are disposable, this is awful!" or something similar. Instead, you have to spend some time and energy exploring the question of male disposability in the first place. Basically, the nature of the posts makes it easy to accidentally beco… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 01:26 PM |
| -1 | "Men have oppressed women throughout history."I guess I'm kind of struggling with this. This comment seems to imply that women were not oppressed in history. I don't think that's true. Sure, men and women had negative expectations throughout history, but I think the point is that women have suffered many of these simply because they are women. I would definitely consider that oppression. But before you say I'm ignoring men, I would argue that men were oppressed too, just in different ways. . Like it or not, male gender issues are (currently… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 04:34 AM |
| 2 | Men are not monolithicBut then they'll simply counter with "why are you making this about you? can't you see that there's problems men have with violence?" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 04:08 AM |
| 3 | "Men have oppressed women throughout history."Quite frankly I agree with everything you've put forth in this comment. Wasn't trying to imply that women have not been oppressed (same with the systemic nature of it), as much as the occasional need for making language more explicit. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 04:04 AM |
| 2 | Men are not monolithicI'm still trying to figure out a good comeback to this. I've attempted the analogy to race and crime because it's pretty clear to me that the systemic competition among men leads to this, but I've always been met with refrains on how it's "not the same". I also just don't like bringing race into it, because that's a whole other can of worms. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 02:13 AM |
| 1 | Men are not monolithicI'll he honest, I'm not always a fan of TTM, but this is a profound and quality post. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 02:07 AM |
| 5 | "Men have oppressed women throughout history."Well, I'll put it this way: the semantics matter (at least to me) because applied individually it carries the implication of collusion that may not have existed. It's frustrating because if you apply the dictionary definition of oppression ("subject to harsh or authoritarian treatment") then yes, it's oppression. But oppression in modern context seems to be made out to be "systemic bias or prejudice". So if a man beating his wife is oppressing her, is that an example of systematic bias or prejud… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/07/21 02:04 AM |
| 12 | "Men have oppressed women throughout history."I think we get caught up too much with the word "oppression". Really, I personally don't feel like "oppress" is the right word to use for individuals. Invidivual men can and have absolutely been awful to women, but the oppression isn't those actions, it's the relative acceptance of those actions. It's always been horrible to take personal choice away from someone and unduly impose rules and restrictions on them. But at some points in time those restrictions were viewed as legitimate and necessar… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/07/21 11:47 PM |
| 5 | "Men have oppressed women throughout history."While that's true and needs to be discussed more, it's not necessarily a "gotcha". Frankly, we shouldn't be trying to have "gotcha" discussions in the first place. Were women historically treated badly in unique ways that often correlated to their sex? Absolutely yes. Were men historically treated badly in unique ways that often correlated with sex? Also yes. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/07/21 01:28 PM |
| 1 | LWMA official statement regarding recent comments on MensLibAs someone who gets a lot of dysphoric feelings about gender... I can attest that at least in my case, those feelings are absolutely exacerbated by gender-essentialist propaganda that's often spewed by a subset of people who genuinely don't care about men. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/07/21 02:00 PM |
| 2 | Misandry and the 'B'I think what we're trying to say is there's a big difference between putting yourself outside any possibility of a false accusation and being a responsible adult. Like, I've worked from home some these past few months. I've had one on one virtual meetings with female coworkers that were unavoidable. I'm not going to privately record that meeting - I think that's a step too far. I think you're also dismissing some of the weight of optics here. If you present yourself as a respectful person who av… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/06/21 06:05 AM |
| 7 | Misandry and the 'B'Me except it's a fantasy because I'm too introverted and afraid of casual sex to actually put myself out there 😂 I swear when I actually figure out how to ease that discomfort I'm gonna become an absolute slut for a few months. Literally the dam of my sexuality breaking. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/06/21 05:51 AM |
| 14 | Misandry and the 'B'Yeah I've definitely heard the term "gender traitor" bandied about by some crazy lesbians for bi women liking men. Like what did you expect - they're bi! | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/06/21 05:48 AM |
| 2 | Misandry and the 'B'Man, I understand you and I'm definitely behind the severity of unsubstantiated claims being fairly high (and a lack of due process throughout, for both male and female victims), but I can't justify whole-cloth paranoia of women being false-accusation generators. If I'm going to be frustrated that women sometimes treat men like predators for no good reason, I think it's only ideologically sound to treat women like they aren't out to get me via false accusations. Likewise, I won't pretend false a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/06/21 03:36 AM |
| 21 | Misandry and the 'B'To add to this, bi and gay men are often shamed if they are more effeminate/camp and I feel like the reason that's often touted for the shame is completely wrong. Everyone says they are shamed because they are acting feminine and society hates things associated with women. But really, I think it's just because they aren't falling in line with what a man is expected to do. I mean, we rarely see pop figures like David Bowie or the members of KISS shamed for their use of makeup or fashion-forward c… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/06/21 07:56 PM |
| 10 | Misandry and the 'B'As a bicurious guy I definitely feel this. Even among the most progressive people there's definitely... unspoken hesitation whenever I out myself as potentially liking men. My ex did a less harmful version of it, she did a lot of lip service to the LGBT crowd and identifies as queer but actually confronting male bisexuality threw her for a loop. She really did try to be supportive of it, and I appreciate her effort, but at the end of the day I could tell there was some level of discomfort she ha… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/06/21 05:47 PM |
| 1 | What's the difference between TERFs and mainstream feminists? TERFs dare to treat transwomen how (too many) mainstream feminists treat men.np.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/nsea03/ugrow_peace_in_bedlam_beautifully_elaborates_on/ | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/06/21 08:16 PM |
| 9 | Another example of LGBT communities grappling with this idea that men are evil, and how that belief is harmful to gay and trans men: "I'm trans and could date women but I don't want to subject them to that and make them suffer"I agree and it's an absolute pain. One thing conservatism definitely posits for men is "be happy - no matter what other people say". And most of my conservative male friends genuinely seem... happy, I guess? At least, they don't give a crap what other people think. Thats the exact opposite of what the left is asking a lot of the time. As men we are literally demanded to give more empathy, more consideration, more flexibility, more understanding... we are told to care exactly what other people th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/21 06:30 AM |
| 13 | Another example of LGBT communities grappling with this idea that men are evil, and how that belief is harmful to gay and trans men: "I'm trans and could date women but I don't want to subject them to that and make them suffer"That's called a kafkatrap. I hate them. They're something my abusive ex used to gaslight me with. Shit like "if you're offended at me saying men are fuckboys, then that says a lot about you". I'm all about rational conversations and I'm willing to admit plenty of men are fuckboys. But assuming people's abreactions to incredibly generalized and highly debatable claims means they are truthful... well, that's just dumb. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/21 06:24 AM |
| 2 | Another example of LGBT communities grappling with this idea that men are evil, and how that belief is harmful to gay and trans men: "I'm trans and could date women but I don't want to subject them to that and make them suffer"Well I'm not about to try to convince you otherwise, but I imagine some of that might not sit well with a lot of members here (which you seem comfortable with, fine by me). You can certainly be against the erosion of gender roles while still being pretty polite to those communities lol, just saying. Edit: I don't mean to stalk your post history but you do say you are bisexual and I find that very interesting given what you've said here... Like... what do you do since you're homophobic but also l… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/21 04:26 AM |
| 2 | Another example of LGBT communities grappling with this idea that men are evil, and how that belief is harmful to gay and trans men: "I'm trans and could date women but I don't want to subject them to that and make them suffer"It'll just make you a weak males whose utility value has become draining nuts. love how you posted this the same day we have a pride appreciation post lmao | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/21 03:17 AM |
| 4 | Another example of LGBT communities grappling with this idea that men are evil, and how that belief is harmful to gay and trans men: "I'm trans and could date women but I don't want to subject them to that and make them suffer"Lol I definitely have an iffy relationship with being a man. Not as bad as this poster but enough to where I keep eyeing being a femboy to escape traditionally masculine trappings | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/21 01:16 AM |
| 2 | The Paradox of Toxic Behavior in MarriageOh, I'm not opposed to the option either, it's just further down in a marriage. Like, if they are just casually dating then sure, break up immediately. But if you are committed to a person it's at least worth attempting to fix things before a divorce is pulled. I only really say this because the standard advice on relationship advice subs is "divorce" without ever really asking if the person wants to try to make things work. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/21 11:46 PM |
| 7 | The Paradox of Toxic Behavior in MarriageSo... I was willing to give everything the benefit of the doubt since this isn't a relationship advice sub but those are some major red flags. I know it's almost meaningless since I am a complete stranger but keeping you from discussing your issues (providing you are generalizing them and not breaking her trust) is frighteningly manipulative behavior. I'm totally not sure how it's "not fair" either. Like... I don't want to say go nuclear and break up especially in a marriage... but you definitel… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/21 05:40 PM |
| 12 | The Paradox of Toxic Behavior in MarriageI will just say... this is something that's very valuable to have a neutral third party's opinion on. I went through the same thing but I'm a bit more on the neurotic side so I internalized all of it. I was accused of being unempathetic or unemotional in general, because I'm a man and testosterone dulls your feelings. She would literally tell me crap like women are more altruistic and caring and men intrinsically feel those things less. It turned into a lot of gender essentialism at times, and i… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/21 03:47 PM |
| 21 | The Paradox of Toxic Behavior in MarriageMy toxic relationship was quite painful but at the end of it I realized something peculiar. It was that I, as the man, was expected to change, grow, mature, and bolster my communication skills. My ex, however, was not. I would wager a bet that your wife likely has some deep-seated insecurities about her person and place in this world. I'm definitely playing armchair psychologist here, but this behavior isn't exactly uncommon. She's utilizing sexism as a crutch - something I've experienced too. I… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/21 01:39 PM |
| 0 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityExactly. Most feminists I know didn't start caring about feminism to hate men. They care about it because they see that women go through shit. I won't pretend there aren't hateful people in the movement or that hate isn't called out as much as I'd like to see when people are hateful, but damn, it's such a bad faith assumption no wonder people won't listen to us. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/21 01:28 PM |
| 1 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityBut those people will often claim that they are MRAs despite all indications that they couldn't give a crap about men. That's the parallel I was trying to draw. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 10:05 PM |
| 2 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityNo disagreements from me here | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 07:54 PM |
| 1 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityWe have privilege *in specific scenarios is what that should read. You speak to areas we don't have privilege as men. I think maybe feminisms biggest challenge is admitting that privilege isn't always present for men. There are absolutely situations where being a man will be a net positive for me. But there are situations it doesn't and those situations are largely ignored. I think it's fine to be upset that they aren't acknowledged. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 07:40 PM |
| 2 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityWhen do the so-called nice feminists step up and condemn the haters? They know what they are. They knw what their movement is. they go along with it all anyway and they do so proudly. Do we do the same for incels? For MGTOW hate groups? Surely you realize that as much as we care about men, there's a lot of shit out there and we don't have the time or energy to spend all day condemning them. I agree that there isn't as much condemnation as I'd like to see from them, but I don't think by saying I'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 07:36 PM |
| -1 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityThey aren't completely wrong. It's why I used the religion analogy. You can have completely reasonable religious beliefs and be a kind and genuine person. Or you can have extremist beliefs and actively hurt or suppress others for your own gain. Comparing it to Nazism is just... stupid. No offense. Sexism is a double sided coin. Women aren't lying when they say women face hardship being respected in the workplace or face violent assault at terrifying rates. That doesn't mean all men are privilege… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 05:38 PM |
| 0 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityYou say that in seriousness but I think it still holds up. Nazis aren't created in a vacuum. Nothing came along one day and said "hey, here's this thing called the Nazi party, let's try world domination". Events and feelings led to its formation, and it never really died. To fight Nazis, you need to fight the reasons people become Nazis. This isn't a war, we aren't tasked with eliminating feminism by force. We should give every opportunity to change people's hearts and minds and if they reject r… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 05:26 PM |
| -2 | I am looking for an evidence that feminism is really misandric and against equalityCall me crazy, but I don't think there's much to be said and done about fighting feminism as a "force" at this point. It's been established, it has corporate and governmental support... attacking feminism can always be worded to be an attack on women. Rather than try to fight feminism, I think the energy should be spent to correct misinformation and false narratives. Feminists aren't lying when they say that men have privilege - we do. It's just those privileges manifest themselves in very speci… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/21 04:56 PM |
| 6 | Why Does This Work Have to Be Seen As Anti-Woman?I disagree that it's literally no feminist that believes this but I agree that most feminists don't believe this. In theory. In practice, it gets much harder to discern that point because they'll argue that men just kind of all decided over time that this is the way things are. Which kind of does put the onus on men as a "you're part of this, whether knowingly or not, and you did orchestrate it by not rebelling against society" As far as patriarchy... I can get behind bits and pieces of it. Did … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/21 05:39 AM |
| 11 | Why Does This Work Have to Be Seen As Anti-Woman?The honest answer is really just because they've chosen to believe that. For most feminists, they've accepted this hard-line belief that women experience oppression (which I agree they do) but the hardships they face are so unique and devastating that men's suffering just can't compare. When men speak up about an issue they face, it's seen as selfish whining - do these men not understand what women are facing? What it's like to be a woman? How much hate is out there for them? Men don't face syst… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/21 05:29 AM |
| 16 | This is a reply I gave to someone on this sub about conservative misandry, I thought it was pretty good so here it is in a postI agree. Like... I'm a guy, but I don't feel propelled toward nearly any traditionally masculine ideal. I don't want to be tall and muscular, I don't want to be strong and stoic, I'm not drawn to sports or horseplay, I'm sexually submissive, I don't want to be a father... with all of that, it's hard to feel anything like I'm not a complete wreck of a person to begin with. Conservative misandry tries to push that, imo, by saying "this is the way men and women should be. If you aren't these things… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/21 05:17 AM |
| 2 | This is a reply I gave to someone on this sub about conservative misandry, I thought it was pretty good so here it is in a postWhat exactly would you consider a gender role then? I feel like what you mean here isn't gender roles (the traditional "man should do this, woman should do that, because they are a man or a woman" roles) so much as a predisposition for men on average to like or dislike something according to their gender. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/21 05:11 AM |
| 1 | How do you feel about traditional gender expression and biology?I mean I would agree they aren't argued as being harmful, but it quite easily can turn into a discussion of "this is how the world works, so how much effort do we put into accepting those who don't follow the norms?" As a more androgynous fellow who wonders if I'm non-binary, this whole discussion leads me to being either a) broken, in need of fixing, b) broken, with no hope of fixing, c) fine how I am, but not normal, or d) normal and acceptable. I guess the question quite easily jumps from one… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/05/21 04:02 PM |
| 15 | Feminism and anti MGM intactivismThat is also quite frustrating to deal with. Like, I admit I'm very anti-circumcision. But it's hard to get people to believe that I'm speaking the truth when I say that circumcision can absolutely fuck up someone's sex life. What I've gathered hearing other men is that it's a hit and miss thing. For a majority of men there is little to no tangible difference between being cut and uncut. But at least a portion of men report that things drastically changed after receiving an adult circumcision. S… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/21 11:41 PM |
| 34 | Feminism and anti MGM intactivismI remember when I tried to open up to my then-girlfriend (radical feminist) about my opinion on circumcision and I got completely shut down with the "it's not equivalent, don't try to compare them" line. I am circumcised. I just... struggle to believe that, to this day. Someone who had so much anger towards FGM could look me in the eye, KNOWING I was circumcised... and not bother to hear me out. I wasn't trying to explicitly compare the two, say one is worse, or anything like that. All I wanted … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/21 10:50 PM |
| 5 | “All white people are racist” “All men are sexist” broken downWell that was my point haha, that mass messaging isn't very helpful to individuals, and in my experience the bulk of change has come from discussions at the individual or small group level. Idk, I feel like mass messaging is good for pushing advocacy (if you see bad behavior, call it out) but for introspection it's much harder to get true vulnerability. People don't like looking at themselves and admitting their faults | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/21 01:29 AM |
| 2 | “All white people are racist” “All men are sexist” broken downFrankly that's a really difficult line to toe. We had 20 years of messaging to be color blind and that sex and race should have nothing to do with how we view a person's life. Now all of a sudden we are whipping around to say yes those things matter and we should look through particular lenses when dealing with those from marginalized groups. That's a huge change and I think it's too shocking to many to hear that "all x people are racist" because they don't think they are. I definitely don't bel… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/21 12:07 AM |
| 43 | Depression in Men: The Sexist Mental Health System Makes it WorseI think it's a huge indicator that someone cares about male mental health when they recognize that being "stubborn" about seeking help is often not the fault of the individual per se, but is a sign of a larger societal failing. There's a lot of poor messaging regarding therapy and men hear that. And even more messaging regarding expressing one's feelings at all. Like, why would I talk about my feelings since I'm only ever expected to just deal with them anyway. What good would talking to a thera… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/05/21 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Internalised Misandry: What do you battle, and how do you battle it?and you have your sexual and intimacy needs outlawed. I'm very interested in what you meant by this | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/05/21 07:10 PM |
| 7 | “All white people are racist” “All men are sexist” broken downDoes aggression really put the onus on people to change their beliefs or does it alienate them further? Being called racist and linking it to who I am makes me reconsider the accusation entirely, not look at my potential biases. Plus, if the racism is linked to my identity, which the implication is there, why bother to address it in the first place since it is innate? Not that I believe that line of thought personally, but I know it's how most people react to these types of things. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/05/21 06:50 PM |
| 3 | The difference between men and women's social groups, or why men feel like they don't know bad men and women feel the oppositeYou're right of course, and I've edited that part out after a couple other comments. I meant to imply that white collar workers are often held to a different standard about what topics they can discuss in the workplace (e.g. discussing sexual encounters with someone too inebriated or something) and it came out wrong. Basically, I felt the opportunity for NSFW topics to be broached and someone's abuse exposed may be higher on a construction job than an office. My apologies for accidentally making… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/05/21 06:10 AM |
| 2 | The difference between men and women's social groups, or why men feel like they don't know bad men and women feel the oppositeI think that's a fair point, I don't mean to seem classist about it all since it's not like money and power eliminate these behaviors | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/05/21 03:59 AM |
| 3 | The difference between men and women's social groups, or why men feel like they don't know bad men and women feel the oppositeFrankly I tied it to job performance standards. When I worked a food service job? As long as you showed up you got paid, even if you had some really fucked up views. Work in an office? A lot of the behaviors that follow these traits aren't tolerated. I'm definitely not saying that there aren't perpetrators in blue and white collar jobs - not by any means - but they're likely better at hiding their proclivities. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/05/21 01:20 AM |
| 1 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.I didnt put words in your mouth. You gave a vague criticism of mensrights ("negative energy") and I asked you if it was because they were critical of feminism. You said no, and then you said "mens rights is just angry men", which confirms that you are mad that it criticizes feminism, because its not angry men and the only people that dislike mensrights are the people who dislike its valid criticism of feminism. If you can't see how you are injecting your own beliefs into my comments then I can't… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 09:09 PM |
| 3 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.Yeah it has definitely made improvements lately. I think there were a bad few years where the incel crowd got booted back and forth across reddit but they seem to have mostly settled elsewhere. Most of the woman hating I see on the sub now is driven by angsty teens, or at least it appears that way. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 08:47 PM |
| 5 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.Oh yeah. That's an actual phenomenon too - there's something on the redpilled side of the internet about "red pill rage" which is really just the anger men feel when they realize that men aren't often treated as meaningfully as society would like you to think. I think most if not all men in men's advocacy groups have been through some similar event/feelings and many are still actively working through that time in their lives | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 08:44 PM |
| -1 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.I'm not about to argue with someone who literally just admitted to putting words in my mouth. I'm perfectly fine with criticism of feminism. I criticize feminism all the fucking time. But criticism should be done correctly - and unfortunately that requires taking nuanced views and realizing that not everyone who calls themselves a feminist is the enemy. Splitting it up into us vs. them or feminists vs. men's rights makes it harder to get anything done, you'll spend your whole time fighting over … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 08:39 PM |
| 0 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.It's certainly a better alternative than MensRights as far as largely avoiding a black hole of negative energy. At least have the decency to quote me accurately. Either way I'm fine with MensLib. It's not perfect but it's at least discussion over anger and I appreciate that some days. Or, you know, here. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 06:26 PM |
| 5 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.And that's the frustrating thing - I don't think pure, ideologically sound feminism is against Cassie Jaye, or men's advocacy, and that's why I'm not a self-proclaimed anti-feminist. Which is annoying, since the pop-feminism on Twitter and such is so far removed from that it's not even funny | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 03:17 PM |
| 1 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.I mean, you don't have to look far in any male advocacy group to see those posts. I think it's definitely interesting that we don't see many of them here, but I've seen similar things often in MensRights, MGTOW, MaleMentalHealth, etc. I have my own theories on why it happens - because I've been through something analogous - but I don't think it's intrinsically linked to that space and that space only. Which isn't what you claimed but it's important to note the effect occurs in both left and righ… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 03:14 PM |
| 6 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.Quite frankly it depends on the framing of it all. I frequently post on MensLib and I don't think it's the shithole everyone describes it as. It's certainly a better alternative than MensRights as far as largely avoiding a black hole of negative energy. That's of course up to the user but I find it nice to have a subreddit I can leave without feeling too upset by. I will say, if you look between the lines there you'll see a lot of agreement on your sentiment. There's a lot of people there frustr… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 01:18 PM |
| 45 | "self examination", "introspection" and why feminist approaches to men's issues don't work.That's, unfortunately, the cold hard truth of it all. Personally, I dislike jumping to immediately bashing feminism because by and large I don't have issues with the intent behind it all. But I've been met time and time again with this ice cold belief that men should not be afforded any space for advocacy because the world is not "against" us or something. I'm more than willing to admit the world isn't often kind toward women, but the ignorance one must hold to believe the world actually cares a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 01:09 PM |
| 0 | The U.S. Supreme Court just chose to take a case that will challenge Roe v. Wade. Reproductive rights aren't considered a predominantly male issue, but it's certainly a left wing one. Let's be aware of these political issues so we can advocate for equal and respectful treatment of everyoneI would wholeheartedly agree. I've had one or two pregnancy scares in college and it really made me wonder how I'd approach a situation where I'd have to weigh in on an actual abortion occurring. I quickly realized I had no idea where I stood, despite being firmly left-leaning elsewhere. Here, I think the actual issue at hand isn't a matter of left vs right, but the simple fact that the status quo is being challenged by a court that's stacked fairly heavily into conservative territory. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 06:00 AM |
| 2 | The U.S. Supreme Court just chose to take a case that will challenge Roe v. Wade. Reproductive rights aren't considered a predominantly male issue, but it's certainly a left wing one. Let's be aware of these political issues so we can advocate for equal and respectful treatment of everyoneI see what you are saying, but I'm not sure I agree that this belongs on a Male Advocacy sub. The mods are absolutely free to disagree with me and take this down (I really truly don't mind) because I can agree it's a more tangential topic. Still, I was hoping to get some nuanced discussion of the topic and you've provided much more than I anticipated, which is greatly appreciated. A lot to chew on here. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 05:55 AM |
| 5 | The U.S. Supreme Court just chose to take a case that will challenge Roe v. Wade. Reproductive rights aren't considered a predominantly male issue, but it's certainly a left wing one. Let's be aware of these political issues so we can advocate for equal and respectful treatment of everyoneI guess I'm not as certain as you are about it being overturned. This is definitely what many states have been chipping away towards - many states limited abortion access seemingly for the sole purpose of sending it to higher courts eventually. As much backlash as there would be for it on the left, there'd be just as much support on the right. And that's frustrating. I'm admittedly pretty neutral on the topic of abortion but that's because I have to be. It's a hard thing to come down on one side… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/21 01:43 AM |
| 3 | Counterarguments for "unpaid labor" argumentI would honestly think it was more common for women to get the "short end of the stick" vis a vis marriage for many years, if you are going off of metrics like independence and required domestic duties. I should also caveat that it's an intrinsically difficult thing to measure (happiness, that is) because there are many women who are fulfilled by being the more domestic partner. But I'd also wager that tying this to life expectancy is dubious, because the standards for marriage have changed more… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/05/21 11:46 PM |
| 14 | The U.S. Supreme Court just chose to take a case that will challenge Roe v. Wade. Reproductive rights aren't considered a predominantly male issue, but it's certainly a left wing one. Let's be aware of these political issues so we can advocate for equal and respectful treatment of everyoneI think links are supposed to have a paragraph describing why they belong here, so here's my stab at it: Reproductive rights should be given to everyone - man or woman or anyone else. Traditionally, it's been coded as a female issue, when it isn't. The actual medical aspect of it primarily is, but it's an issue that has broad impacts to society at large. We should be aware that the political landscape is shifting and that this is becoming a hot-button issue, and be prepared to offer our advocacy… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/05/21 09:28 PM |
| 6 | The "Feminist Methodology" MuddleI mean, I disagree that we should be accelerating towards political methodologies on research, but let's not act as if inquiry and research are these bastions of the scientific process that are by nature removed from politics and bias. Having been entrenched in academia and exposed to research in a very apolitical STEM field, there's still definite pressure inherent in even research proposals to report with bias. It's why we dump so much money into finding out if sugar will kill you - confection… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/05/21 02:52 AM |
| 1 | The "Feminist Methodology" MuddleI get it, it's hard for many to hear that sexism still hasn't been solved for women yet, when we are still trying to advocate for our own issues. It feels like there's a line that can be crossed where we dilute our own activism, but I guess I'd rather approach that and handshake with the other side of things then get entrenched and frustrated. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/05/21 02:44 AM |
| 4 | The "Feminist Methodology" MuddleI think you dance a very difficult line when you define any particular things as "attacks on personhood". By many male accounts it's certainly an attack on their personhood when they are expected to be capitalist wage slaves for their entire lives because anything other than that means they have failed their role. Or that they should be strong and stoic and risk their lives at any indication of danger. These things are institutionalized in gender roles and expectations, they just are rarely codi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/05/21 02:27 AM |
| 2 | The "Feminist Methodology" MuddleNot sure why you're being downvoted, at least for these latter comments. Acting like women haven't faced (and don't continue to face) barriers isn't what we should be doing. Sure, there is some historical nuance that's there - and it's important to recognize that nuance - but things like not having the option to own property independently of a male figure in your life shouldn't be something we think is good just because men were expected to provide for women. Women still had choices taken away f… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/05/21 02:14 AM |
| 6 | A list of studies showing men care more about women than other men.This is a topic which confuses a lot of people and personally, I would be incredibly interested in hearing some trans folks experiences with how these biases manifest themselves. To that end, I think the truth is a bit more muddied. I think there's absolutely some biases toward men out there - especially with men being perceived as more authoritative/experienced/qualified than women just because they are men. And, quite frankly, I think a lot of women view that as the same as an in-group bias wh… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/05/21 06:30 PM |
| 7 | A conversation I had with my brother today about boats, and how that helped me formulate my thoughts about the toxicity of traditional gender roles towards both sexes.This is a really weird thing to untangle. On one hand it's perfectly fine to have standards, on the other it's not appropriate to get offended if someone doesn't line up with yours. Problem is there's a million ways we are competing and telling men that they aren't allowed to have standards, self esteem, or boundaries | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/05/21 07:20 PM |
| 2 | A conversation I had with my brother today about boats, and how that helped me formulate my thoughts about the toxicity of traditional gender roles towards both sexes.Twas a tv show reference | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/05/21 07:18 PM |
| 1 | I had to get out of a situation with an invasive woman tonight and I'm really frustratedTIL we have a lounge | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/21 08:05 AM |
| 1 | UK Parliament petition calls for "gendered" women-only domestic violence funding, will erase male victims.You know, you say this like they genuinely feel that way. They don't. These people feel like the stuff women face is so extraordinary compared to men that it necessitates responses like this. That the abuse women face is so threatening and widespread that it has to be where the money goes. These people care a lot, and having spoken to them won't admit that they don't really care about men. They literally just don't see the issues that face men as being problems on the same scale. They'll tell yo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/05/21 10:58 PM |
| 6 | What Do You Think Would Happen If People Found Out About Your Beliefs?This type of thinking kills me. The woman I dated last - a radical feminist, mind you - would often lament to me that her academic friends or people she followed on Twitter would have opinions on things that she didn't agree with, or were overdramatizing an issue. And her complaints to me were that she felt shameful for disagreeing with them. I understand why a lot of left leaning people fit into these paradigms and don't want to admit they might not have everything exactly figured out, but it's… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/05/21 01:48 PM |
| 3 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameBest wishes to you with everything. I'm amused by you you say you've picked up the issues, it's interesting to me how people can literally catch them like illnesses. I guess that's what repeated exposure to trauma does though. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 05:30 AM |
| 6 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameI legitimately do not understand how someone can be blind to the empathy gap. I won't go around claiming women have it great behind every corner of the internet, but it's so clear to me that on average, people will care more about your well being as a person if you're a woman. Hell, there's a lot that can be said about being perceived as an actual person in the first place. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 02:00 AM |
| 7 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameCould we be witnessing an act of projection whenever an ideological feminist denounces a "weird" guy as a potential abuser? Aside from your main point, I'm often somehow friends with the "weird" guys. Happened to me all throughout high school, college, and currently in my workplace. Through some turn of chance I guess I'm easygoing enough to be friends with the "cool" crowd and the "weird" crowd at the same time. And you know what? More often than not, the "weird" guys are completely normal peop… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 01:55 AM |
| 5 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameIt took me several months after we broke up to actually feel like my previous girlfriend was actually emotionally abusive to me. To this day I struggle with putting the actual term "abuse" in there and feeling it is true. It's so fucking hard when a lot of the stuff men suffer at the hands of women is less "physical" and thus not considered abusive. Even just from a viewpoint of women being generically weaker than men - unless she's coming at you with a knife most people won't see a physically a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 01:48 AM |
| 3 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameThanks. Navigating all of this is... tough, to say the least. I did find this part of what you wrote particularly provocative: The logic of all the people who attacked me was basically that I'm obviously a creep who is looking for ways to hide he is a creep if I even need to ask a question like that in the first place. That sentiment has by far been the most used against me in my own dating experience. Really, it's an unfair form of control. It insinuates that if you don't know something automat… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 01:43 AM |
| 5 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameThis is one of the most well thought out and nuanced takes I've seen on this issue. I literally don't disagree with a single thing you've said here. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 01:20 AM |
| 5 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameMy honest gut feeling is that this is an impossible request. It's much easier to answer whether or not something is inappropriate instead of whether it's appropriate (that is, it's easier to define a negative case than a positive one). How can we come up with objective good/bad things when everyone has differing moral compasses and boundaries? Extending that, I feel like there's much more acceptance in understanding that differences in individual moral compasses exist and intrapersonal friction … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 01:05 AM |
| 1 | Helping neurotic men in the dating gameWhile that is true, I really just wanted to highlight this specific side of it. I see people acting like feminism has put up impenetrable barriers on asking women out when it hasn't. The requirement that's been imposed is additional self-awareness, but these men misinterpret it as women requiring them to perform the impossible of asking someone out without actually doing so. That, along with reassuring men that the chances of being received in bad faith are slim. Most women are fairly approachab… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/21 01:01 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone else been guilt tripped to stay friends with someone after you had feelings for them?Appreciated. Thanks! | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/04/21 04:00 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone else been guilt tripped to stay friends with someone after you had feelings for them?Well, I appreciate you taking the time to reply to all this. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/04/21 11:56 PM |
| 1 | I have come to the conclusion that I need to distance myself from the MRA movementI mean, I consider myself an egalitarian and I think the whole biology of gender card is overplayed. Men and women seem to have more similarities than differences, and as an effeminate guy I'd rather not be looked at as lesser-than because I don't fall into the masculine categories we assign men. Like, sure, we probably won't ever have a genderless society, but we should work towards not stereotyping based on gender alone. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/04/21 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone else been guilt tripped to stay friends with someone after you had feelings for them?Your reply in the link is explicit though: this sub is exactly where you want it to be, so why does it matter? In any case, there seems to be a definite tolerance of less-than-nuanced views sometimes. In that linked post you'll see plenty of replies that imply that women have things so much better than men and have no right to complain, completely ignoring that on dating apps much of the attention comes from being objectified and commodified rather than genuinely being valued as people. There's … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/04/21 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone else been guilt tripped to stay friends with someone after you had feelings for them?If that's how you want to play things, sure. I got the answer I needed from your comment, and if you're genuinely that perturbed by it, I see no reason to need to justify myself. Are we really going to start targeting users just because they said they would prefer different content and misinterpreted where this sub was ideology-wise? Like, I don't want to get in arguments with the moderation here, but this feels like a needless discussion. And you're the moderator so if you are genuinely that co… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/04/21 10:53 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone else been guilt tripped to stay friends with someone after you had feelings for them?Most of it boils down to I needed time to process it all and she wanted me to be cool with it right then and there like nothing had changed. She was absolutely unwilling to take a break from talking and did make me feel guilty for that. Which is actually amusing in the long run because I feel like if I had gotten the time to get over it I'd appreciate her much more now, but since she essentially kept me hostage in the friendship my view of her is still really tainted. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/04/21 07:56 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone else been guilt tripped to stay friends with someone after you had feelings for them?Maybe I'm biased because of my experiences, but this is essentially the same thing that happened to me. My ex wasn't the get bored/cheat type - replace that with "you need to see a doctor" levels of low self-esteem. She just wasn't... really capable of putting other people's feelings at the same level as hers even though she thought she did. She'd blow up at me for the slightest thing as if I had gravely insulted her and refused to tell me what about what I said upset her. It was pretty crazy. O… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/04/21 07:54 PM |
| 2 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?I'm not advocating that men haven't suffered tremendous and greater losses than women when it comes to the battlefield, I'm just sayings it's disingenuous to say there isn't an element of sexism at play when in the modern day we have legally limited the role of women who would have liked to fight for their country. It's not one side or the other. Both these issues exist. I can admit that one of them deals with human lives in a much more intimate way than the other. It's just that people in this … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/21 04:12 AM |
| 3 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?What kind of proactive things would you like to see here? Genuinely interested, from someone who's also like to see more proactive discussion here | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/21 04:05 AM |
| 3 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?Like what issues? Like women being taken less seriously in their careers because they are assumed to be less knowledgeable than men. That women face sexual harassment in most public spheres (not that men don't, but it's a big problem for women). That women are often socialized to be helpful and appear happy often to the detriment of themselves. That in many areas of society, the "default" is often still male and not genderless. To me it just sounds like you want the sub to be more palatable to s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/21 02:44 AM |
| 1 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?That's true, but the only way people are going to listen to us is if there's nuance. Women aren't going to listen to guys going on about how they are "inherently valued" in the dating market when they are being treated like a piece of meat. There needs to be some understanding of what other people go through to get them to empathize with you. It sucks and it's bullshit as far as feeling like anyone listens to or cares about you, but it's the only way I've found to make those connections with peo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/21 02:07 AM |
| 1 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?This sounds far more like a critique of capitalism then it does a critique of gender roles. Sure, I can agree that we are probably all suffering more now that the pillars of child-rearing are left less stable by women entering the workforce, but I don't think the correct way to fix the issue is push people back into highly gendered roles. Nor do I find that women in particular are all that upset at having the choice to be in the workforce or be a mother. Wouldn't a better solution be shorter wor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/21 12:47 AM |
| 2 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?I would really, really love this space to be one step away from r/MensLib and a few steps to the left of r/MensRights. Somewhere where we aren't necessarily aligned with name-brand Feminism but recognize that the core issues that drive feminism are largely true and need to be addressed in tandem with recognizing a need to help men. It used to be that space, like 4 or 5 months ago. It's slowly been drifting more and more into straight "women have it so good, what about us men" rhetoric that I jus… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/21 12:42 AM |
| 2 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?Did you mean to generalize all women or simply some type of gender activists? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/04/21 08:58 PM |
| 1 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?Agreed. It's difficult to convey everything when all you ever live through is one side of the message. As guys we don't see the constant dismissal of women to be nothing more than sex objects by a lot of society. Frankly stuff like this is always a teeter totter kind of thing. Women do receive more attention than men, yes, but at the price of dehumanization. The ideal is some balanced middle point. Meanwhile guys are at the other end of the plank, receiving little attention and being relatively … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/04/21 08:56 PM |
| 2 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?Perhaps that was a bad choice of words - "needing to be protected" would probably be a better way to say it | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/04/21 08:53 PM |
| 3 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?Well, yeah, but your title suggests these are forms of privilege when they might not always be (though I can agree they can feel like relative privileges given male experiences). That's really the only issue I have looking at the post. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/04/21 04:45 PM |
| 26 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?The retaliation against this doesn't seem to be considered by many. I'm bi, and I've been in situations where men I'm not into have hit on me online. I understand the trope of some thirsty person sliding into your dms out of hornyness alone. Which, tangentially, cracks me up when it's assumed I "don't get it". Surprise surprise, I too have received unsolicited dick pics. But there's always a weird false equivalence that any match from a woman is automatically of higher quality than a guy. A lot … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/04/21 03:34 PM |
| 15 | What are some examples of female privilege being instead twisted into female oppression and victimization?I would caution against falling into the same trap those who make these statements fell into. It's perfectly reasonable that men have been predominantly sent into war both because men are disposable and because women have been viewed as weaker. We shoot ourselves in the foot if we believe there is only one side to the double sided coin of sexism. I have yet to see ANY gender issue that only affects one sex and not the other (directly or indirectly). Should we push against those who view these is… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/04/21 03:30 PM |
| 10 | Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I only like things I think I can fuckI'm actually very upset at where this spills into personal relationships. I have a friend who browses reddit occasionally and she got all in a huff about an askreddit post towards men about who they found attractive while not in a relationship (or something similar, I can't remember the exact wording). Next thing I know she's going on this rage about how men are only friends with women so they can try to get in their pants, and this was evidenced by the high number of men who said that they foun… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/04/21 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Looking at the comments on posts about men being attacked is fucking horrifyingFixed | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/04/21 05:44 AM |
| 4 | There is no excuse for discrimination.I honestly disagree with the ban. I don't think they are a troll so much as a person with deeply set beliefs, but I know so many people that are headed the way of "retaliatory sexism is okay" and I feel like this user gave us an avenue to explore that mindset | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/04/21 04:58 AM |
| 10 | Anyone else notice how toxic so many male feminists are?Nah I'm with you here. The line I draw is quite near the zero sum debate. If you're willing to admit guys have legitimate issues as well as women, but feel you can't support men because women have it so much worse.... well it's great you care about women but that makes it obvious to me you are really just paying lip service to men. Because it's possible to cars about more than one thing at once. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/04/21 02:37 AM |
| 5 | Anyone else notice how toxic so many male feminists are?It's frustrating but I've definitely internalized it. Could be because I dated a radical feminist but it could also just be the social climate. I admit I feel... I dunno, pressured? Compelled? Expected? To kind of joke around about my gender. Like my sister will come up to me and talk about how her guy friends struggle with cleaning and hahaha isn't it funny that men can't even clean? She's a good example because she's my sister and I know she doesn't believe that as a general sentiment, but the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/04/21 02:35 AM |
| 3 | False accusations (some of the studies here have their limitations as false accusations are an incredibly complex ordeal.)I'm not saying it should be a scarlet letter or an acquitted accusation should carry significant social weight, I'm saying legal innocence shouldn't imply the accusation was false. Legal innocence means the accusation couldn't be evaluated. Surely if we recognize the need for nuance with these discussions we recognize that there's nuance in this area as well? Lack of an evaluation should imply a lack of judgment on all sides, not judgment on the accuser for making a false claim or the accusee fo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/21 04:43 PM |
| 3 | False accusations (some of the studies here have their limitations as false accusations are an incredibly complex ordeal.)It implies it's neither a false accusation nor guilt. What I'm trying to say is the false accusation rate isn't the 50-odd percent claimed here. That's all | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/21 01:20 PM |
| 4 | False accusations (some of the studies here have their limitations as false accusations are an incredibly complex ordeal.)Exactly. Legal innocence (via acquittal) does not always mean factual innocence. It's a grey area and should be treated as such. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/21 01:17 PM |
| 6 | False accusations (some of the studies here have their limitations as false accusations are an incredibly complex ordeal.)well, it's an important distinction. Acquitting simply means "we don't have enough evidence or willingness to continue proceeding with this case". Which means that not all acquittals are because of false accusations, it's very likely a significant amount of them boiled down to he said/she said cases with a lack of evidence either way. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/21 05:49 AM |
| 1 | isn't there too little awareness on male sexuality?You and me are... completely opposite people haha. Everything you wrote sounds pretty cool to me, but I guess I'm more gender-questioning than most | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 10:44 PM |
| 1 | isn't there too little awareness on male sexuality?I think my only issue is this idea that some words and phrases are to be avoided because they've been associated with feminist movements. It just irks me to have to consider kowtowing to people who may make false equivalences simply because they feel like that's what you're saying when they are actually drawing the wrong conclusion. I suppose it makes sense when debating with a feminist, but it feels pretty damn sad to consider needing to change the language we use because specific words are so … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 10:38 PM |
| 13 | False accusations (some of the studies here have their limitations as false accusations are an incredibly complex ordeal.)So on the first slide, were those "remaining cases" proved false or simply acquitted? That's admittedly a big issue I have looking through this presentation. It's one thing to not have enough evidence to prove guilt, it's another to prove a falsehood | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 07:10 PM |
| 2 | isn't there too little awareness on male sexuality?And therein lies the problem. I know it's anecdotal, but let me share my experience talking about circumcision with my feminist ex. I'd been struggling with my own circumcision for a while and had come to the conclusion that it probably had some effect on our sex lives. For the life of me I couldn't reliably finish during PIV sex, which led to a lot of issues where she didn't feel desired and I felt like I was failing at sex. I'd been doing a lot of thinking about telling her about foreskin rest… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Really frustrated with this "men think feminine = bad" false equivalenceI mean, I get it. If feminism would stop trying to dual-brand itself as "we help men" but also "its a movement for women, not men" then I'd have far fewer issues with it. You bring up a good point though. I don't love bashing feminism because I see the need for parts of it in society, but I simply don't think I've met a self-identified feminist that looks at an issue facing men and... asks men about it. There are so many assumptions about what men are thinking and acting on that women perceive f… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 04:33 PM |
| 2 | isn't there too little awareness on male sexuality?Understood. It's simply being at different places in regards to the mental journey of moving past something that has been done to you without your consent. I don't want to be stressed over this issue, but sometimes it happens. I will say that I would be careful with the "circumcision isn't mutilation because many circumcised penises work great" line. I get where you're going with it in terms of not wanting to add undue stress to people's lives, but I've had the same thinking used against me by p… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 04:27 PM |
| 4 | Really frustrated with this "men think feminine = bad" false equivalenceNot a bad thing | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 12:40 PM |
| 6 | isn't there too little awareness on male sexuality?No offense, but I definitely disagree. I mean that with some care, because these are difficult issues. I get it more than you think. I've been through the anger and frustration of my circumcision. Idk if you have, but you don't seem to have any issues because of your circumcision. I likely do. As do many other men. For us, we're left with the constant question: what would things be like if we had a choice? The answer is, we don't know. So one man's "induce dysphoria" might be... true. I don't kn… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/21 06:29 AM |
| 86 | "The Future Is Female"An argument about this slogan almost ended my one relationship. My stance wasn't even against the slogan per se. I disagree with it, but not vehemently enough to say anything. Nah, my stance was literally just "that's bad marketing". I tried like... 3 or 4 times to try to explain how statements like it would really only alienate men from women's issues. I never got a good reply, it delved too quickly into "we don't need men to be feminists" or "this statement wasn't meant for men". Well, that an… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/04/21 12:21 AM |
| 5 | Where are we supposed to meet each other to date?Tangential but I'd argue here that hey - at least you recognize you may have BPD and put in the work to see the ways it affects your relationships. My ex with BPD never got to that point and it was extremely frustrating. Honestly the amount of self-reflection you're doing here makes me think if you do have BPD it's likely not something severe. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 09:05 PM |
| 3 | Does the whole "emotional labor" argument seem unnecessarily one-sided to anyone else?I see I'm not the only one to have this saved. It was such a breath of fresh air to read, and it's entirely representative of the male experience. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 04:23 PM |
| 16 | What is something you've been told that you know you wouldn't get away with saying yourself as a man?I won't lie, after going to therapy after the relationship and reading a lot of literature on the disorder, I'm seeing a lot more of those flags with feminists. I mean, it makes sense to me. BPD is characterized by all-or-nothing, black-and-white split thinking where something is ENTIRELY in one category or another. It often sucks the nuance right out of the room and you can go from dearest friend to hated enemy in literal seconds. I wouldn't go so far as to say most feminists have BPD (I would … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 04:21 PM |
| 5 | Are women genetically superior to men?It isn't important, this person is being bigoted under the guise of "gender essentialism". | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 02:27 PM |
| 25 | What is something you've been told that you know you wouldn't get away with saying yourself as a man?Pretty sure we dated the same person then haha. I definitely honed my emotional support skills when I was with her because the difference between "support" and "secretly hating her" was razor thin. Turns out she just had BPD. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 02:06 PM |
| 63 | What is something you've been told that you know you wouldn't get away with saying yourself as a man?I got told - to my face - that if I wanted to discuss my emotions that I needed to make more male friends instead of shoving more emotional labor on to women. I can't imagine telling a woman to make more friends with women to discuss her emotional issues, much less someone I'd known for literal years and had dated. That was definitely a friendship killer. Sad but I definitely have a buttload of other stories and examples of this. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 01:53 PM |
| 17 | Does the whole "emotional labor" argument seem unnecessarily one-sided to anyone else?I've found it pushes a lot of toxic attitudes into relationships as well. It's perfectly healthy to want your partner to respect you and for you to have respect for yourself and your emotional boundaries, but when you start viewing everything through this lens then it starts shifting people's perspectives. Take it to the extreme and you'll get the kind of posters in FDS who view any interaction they are obligated to respond to as an affront. Basically, if everything is transactional then it's no… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 04:43 AM |
| 6 | I feel like I'm in a different world when I interact with mid-20s women in city barsPretty much the fear of being the "creepy/perverted male attention whore" trope | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/21 02:55 AM |
| 9 | Can we talk about this rising kink of "financial domination" (findom) it's nothing more than exploitation of lonely, emotionally broken and, sometimes, mentally ill men.Frankly that's how a lot of it goes. I've heard from domme after domme about how the male clientele they attract often want to do things like humiliation play for the wrong reasons and that they've turned away guys because of it. But in the age of social media platforms where you can be connected with people instantly and there's an incredible shortage of dominating women to submissive men, it's all too easy to find someone who doesn't take things seriously and is in it just to get some kick or … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/04/21 09:34 PM |
| 54 | Can we talk about this rising kink of "financial domination" (findom) it's nothing more than exploitation of lonely, emotionally broken and, sometimes, mentally ill men.Just for some runup to this, I am a pretty kinky guy. I'm not an expert, but I've had a fair amount of interaction with BDSM spaces and think there's a lot at play here. And I fucking hate how the conversation of kink and men goes in most spaces. The sentiment you'll hear from a lot of people is that these men are exploiting women. Don't get me wrong, I think that can happen. Pushing women towards sex work can be exploiting. But damn, whenever you try to address the men on the other side of this… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/04/21 08:31 PM |
| 7 | Rethinking somethingI will admit, this is a topic I have a reallllly hard time with. I've known women who have been raped. I know plenty of women with sexual assault or harassment stories. Not like, some guy hit on her at the wrong time harassment, like, being followed to their car or groped. So it's not really an understatement to say those things are a real issue for women. I'm not denying that, and thankfully I don't see much of that happening here. But, admittedly... some of the statistics get iffy. On top of o… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/04/21 02:07 AM |
| 30 | Does the demonization of men in society contribute to gender dysphoria?In short, yes. It's most visible on the fringes of things, because I don't think it affects most people. But there definitely seems to be a vulnerable population subset that sees "white straight man bad" and thinks.... maybe the grass would be greener on the other side. r/transmaxxing is a subreddit where this can be seen. I don't usually link to subreddits I disagree with since it boosts their visibility, but if you look over there you'll tend to see people who don't identify as trans at all de… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/04/21 02:20 PM |
| 23 | The logic of x issue affecting men is actually caused by misogynyYeah the feminine thing pisses me off to no end. It's not that feminine things are viewed as weaker. It's that feminine things are viewed as off-limits to men. Because a man wanting to be feminine is less of a man. There's a lot of projection and miscommunication because people will make the assumption that not being a man = not being strong = weak, but that's literally just one facet of masculinity. In reality, feminine things are viewed as bad when men do them solely because they aren't mascul… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/04/21 05:26 AM |
| 14 | Can we talk about this? I’m kinda sick of seeing it.This is kind of how I look at it too. It usually doesn't cross my mind to change my behavior until I notice someone is being really skittish near me and then I realize they probably are freaked out. At times it's not that upsetting because I get it, I don't love feeling like I'm being followed either. But on the other hand I'm just a person going about my day, it's not like I'm walking around with a knife drawn. I remind myself that other people are just going about their business, and if someon… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/21 09:01 PM |
| 3 | Article about talking with, instead of at, boys and menHey man, if we're going to advocate for men as people, we should do that for all men, including the ones who aren't neurotypical. It wasn't meant to address OPs article. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/21 05:31 PM |
| 9 | Can we talk about this? I’m kinda sick of seeing it.In all honesty, I don't really care too much about that particular variant of "announcing" yourself. I personally draw the line at crossing the street for someone else. If I'm doing something like jogging I'll announce my presence but more because I don't want someone to panic and change directions while I pass them so I run into them. If I'm walking down a dark street in the city it depends. I'm worried for myself out here so chances are I'm evaluating whether or not the drunk guys coming out o… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/21 03:55 PM |
| 6 | Surprisingly wholesome Good Men Project articleAs someone who is highly codependent, this hits way too hard. A lot of the time I don't understand the "emotional labor" argument from women. Because in my relationship, I was the one doing the "emotional labor" like 90% of the time. I was the one who had to make sure she was feeling okay, to go out and do nice things for her, to make sure her needs were met. And I liked meeting her needs. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I definitely learned there's a few spots in my life I'm less good at, like plan… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/21 03:38 PM |
| 3 | Article about talking with, instead of at, boys and menintent doesn't equal outcome. Sexual assualt is never a misunderstanding, it's a tiny minority of socially maladaptive men (sociopaths) doing all of it, with multiple people. They aren't misunderstanding what they are doing. I highly, highly disagree with this. The amount of people I know on the autism spectrum that would repeat behaviors they see on TV because they think that's the "right" way to flirt is definitely not zero. It's mostly perpetuated by maladaptive men, but I do think there are … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/21 01:32 PM |
| 4 | Patriarchy theory conditions men to accept abuse from women and to view themselves as less important than womenI would posit they aren't a troll because from what I'm seeing they aren't trying to go to places just to get a rise out of people. It seems whoever they are genuinely believes what they are putting in their comments. Which is really just to say I hope they wouldn't get banned for that alone: they're welcome to come here and be downvoted if their views differ but I'm hoping the bar for elimination from this community is higher than that. Anyways, just my opinion, take care | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/04/21 06:28 PM |
| 8 | Patriarchy theory conditions men to accept abuse from women and to view themselves as less important than womenI don't understand why this is being downvoted. There's a huge difference between being empathetic and understanding women's experiences and being the a doormat to any crazy idea that comes from hateful people. Let me repeat that: a massive difference. Do I support #MeToo? Yeah, as long as men who speak up aren't silenced along with it. Do I support "believe all women?" well, maybe not with that branding. I definitely support being more open to offering help and resources to those who have claim… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/04/21 06:02 PM |
| 3 | I'm just done reaching across the aisle. I'm so tired of going out of my way to understand women's perspectives to have them not spend a minute considering a male oneSadly this rings true even for the people in my life that claim to be more empathetic than most. Curious if you have a link to the interview you're talking about though, that sounds interesting. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/04/21 05:17 PM |
| 2 | Antagonism and dismissiveness toward male sexuality - a look at a thread asking if it’s cruel for someone to expect their partner to use condoms for the rest of their life.That's interesting and a side of this I've never heard before. I always assumed it was a pharma/money thing where doing a similar thing for men was just not feasible from a difficulty and cost perspective. I'd love to hear more about the legal red tape if you know any sources | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/04/21 02:12 AM |
| 5 | Antagonism and dismissiveness toward male sexuality - a look at a thread asking if it’s cruel for someone to expect their partner to use condoms for the rest of their life.Yeah I feel that. It's also different for every person, and for a lot of different forms of BC. My ex gets just about every side effect in the book, and hated most forms of hormonal birth control. But it's disingenuous to act like it's a murderous thing to ask your partner to consider BC. If they feel like the side effects are tolerable, go for it. If they don't, then that's cool too. If I was asked to go on a medication that would probably give me terrible cramps for a few days every month I'd … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/03/21 11:01 PM |
| 17 | Antagonism and dismissiveness toward male sexuality - a look at a thread asking if it’s cruel for someone to expect their partner to use condoms for the rest of their life.My opinion is honestly really simple here: it's not cruel, but it's a valid dealbreaker. If a man has good reason to not want to use a condom (and as a restoring circumcised guy I definitely empathize with you) then his decision to not use a condom should be respected. Likewise, if a woman doesn't want to be on varying forms of birth control, that should also be respected. But if a couple can't come to a mutual middle ground here, then I think it's a valid reason to move on. I say that as an adv… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/03/21 10:56 PM |
| 15 | Post on askwomen- “what male issues do you NOT empathize with?” Pretty disgusting answersAgreed. I don't think those women are representative of the female population by and large. Luckily my real-life friend group is much more... sane. That being said, it's concerning that even with self-selection, there are that many people waiting in the wings of a normal subreddit who are comfortable openly sharing hate. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/21 01:11 PM |
| 59 | Post on askwomen- “what male issues do you NOT empathize with?” Pretty disgusting answersI saw that thread as well and honestly couldn't believe it was in a reputable sub outside of FDS and it's tangential reaches. I'm glad I didn't come across the circumcision comment otherwise I would have yeeted right out of there. Don't even get me started on the dating/matches comment. I have a whole soapbox of feelings about that. A lot of ignorance in those comments. A lot of maliciousness as well. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/21 05:18 AM |
| 3 | Do you think that it would be beneficial to come up with our own "pill"?Yeah we are thinking of the same post | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/21 12:33 AM |
| 4 | Do you think that it would be beneficial to come up with our own "pill"?What were the responses on the post like? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/03/21 11:43 PM |
| 9 | "That's not real feminism"Well, fuck. Thanks for pointing that out because I'm never going to unsee it. I always felt like it can be really difficult to police your own community because I feel that even among other male advocates, but damn if my feminist friends don't call out TERFs every chance they seem to have. Never realized they were so willing to call out bad feminism but only selectively. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/03/21 01:14 PM |
| 10 | How far are moderate feminists willing to go? What does the everyday feminism looks like in your circle?Well, in all honesty, I don't look at any of the examples you've provided and categorize any of them as "moderate" feminists. Any person who has to be badgered to treat men like... people... is just not someone I'd be willing to give many benefits of the doubt to. Most of the moderate feminists I meet don't identify as feminists all that much. That doesn't mean they aren't feminists though. They care about women's issues and realize that women tend to have specific things they deal with that men… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/03/21 01:09 PM |
| 4 | Let's talk about abusive relationshipsSo when she told me I was the problem in our relationship, why wouldn’t I believe her? Man, if that doesn't strike to the heart of my being. I never thought how frighteningly easy it can be to get into this position. My entire life I've been told to listen if people have issues with me and be self-reflective and try to fix it. I levied so much blame on myself that I genuinely went to a therapist thinking I was the issue in our relationship. I'm just glad I found one that was willing to dig into … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/21 08:55 AM |
| 4 | What's your opinion of businesses that go out of their way to emphasize that they're "women owned"?Personally I don't really care. I don't think it's that big of a deal, really. The only thing I don't do is make my business decisions based on it - the only time my business decisions tend to be influenced are on mutable traits like political affiliation. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/21 06:42 AM |
| 2 | Left wing male advocates labeled as "hate" by radfem bloggerHaving had my school do its fair share of dumb shit that never seemed to be run past another human being, I feel like this might be an isolated incident. But does anyone else remember how much of the left will decry that "no one is asking" men to apologize for being male? Bueller? All that aside, I'm not sure if I feel bummed about how milquetoast my response to this is. I don't feel a ton of outrage towards it. I feel like I've been conditioned to view slights against men as not being worthy of… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/03/21 01:46 PM |
| 5 | What you need to know before talking about issues on this sub.Totally not a high horse you needed to be the recipient of, but I've got some feelings about the label "MRA" that I could use some discourse about. I think I'll post about it, but the bulk of the issue is I feel like "men's rights" is used as an automatic disqualifier because it puts men in a situation where it seems at the very barest of glances that we are fighting for "rights" we tend to already have (they are just disproportionately applied). Anyways, great idea and I'd love to see a sub ded… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/03/21 03:16 AM |
| 8 | The response to Davina McCall's defense of men is dishearteningI'll add some clarity as to why this is occurring, whether or not I agree with it. Essentially what is happening is that people are categorizing violence into different mental bins. When you have a woman being attacked and assaulted for say, rejecting a man, there's often one of two categories people will perceive it as. One group will categorize it in the same bin as any other violence. It may not have been a random attack, but it isn't necessarily linked to anything. The other group categorize… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 08:24 PM |
| 2 | I guess men’s rights are considered “dangerous” and “harmful”Well I kind of agree with you except for the claim you imply that I think gender roles were designed by men to oppress women. I think they have been used to oppress women, but I largely don't think they were really "designed" by anyone. And even then, I feel like the oppression cuts both ways with women lacking agency and men being given hyperagency. Not a big fan of evolutionary biology here, but I definitely don't think there's some conspiracy at play here as much as there's social pressures f… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 05:27 PM |
| 6 | On mass shootersNah, the shooters actions are reprehensible. But it's dumb to look at this uptick in violent crime and think "huh, well I guess there's no reason for that". I don't see how it's victim blaming to say that societally we are starting to leave young men behind. There's demonstrable evidence for this in education, mental health, social interaction... it's all over the place. Your solution is to just ignore problems facing men and imagine that hate and suffering exist in a vacuum. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 05:23 PM |
| 14 | I guess men’s rights are considered “dangerous” and “harmful”With all due respect, I personally believe that it's possible to be critical of feminism without labeling oneself an antifeminist. Anti-feminism (in my personal opinion) is too easily mistaken for alt-right association. Plus, if we're going to go out and say that not all men are bad, I'm willing to extend an olive branch and admit not all feminism/feminists are bad. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 03:38 PM |
| 51 | I guess men’s rights are considered “dangerous” and “harmful”I'm no antifeminist but this is a HUGE issue that really erodes my faith in people who spout it. Whenever I brought up issues like domestic violence shelters with my feminist friends they would always say shit like "women worked hard to build shelters for women, men need to go and do the same for men" They are completely fucking blind to the sheer amount of vitriol towards men's organizations. They claim men can just do their own thing but then immediately turn around and fight against it. It's … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 12:54 PM |
| 13 | On mass shootersThey still bring up a good point though. Outside of academia, what they describe is fairly common. You'll see it a lot in discussions about venting - we are asked as men to hold back judgment for someone who is expressing themselves in a hurtful way (misandry) because that person may have experienced trauma or is otherwise dealing with difficult things in their life. But if a man comes along and does similar venting in a hurtful way (i.e. Misogyny) then judgment is immediately applied to them. T… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 12:50 PM |
| 2 | Are we about to have to go through this again?I just posted a similar thing about this and you do realize it's not them being male that's at fault, right? When any other demographic commits crime at disproportionate levels, we try to look at what might be causing that to happen. It's definitely not like we are leaving an entire generation of men in a wake of shifting norms that leave many of them without an identity while the pressures of previous gender expectations are still thrust on them. Nope. That could never be the issue. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/21 01:32 AM |
| 31 | An example of people using women's issues to distract from men's issues in a sub dedicated to men's issuesThe issue is male-only spaces are considered to be by default oppressive. I mean, look at any discussion about "good old boy" clubs where men meet. People automatically assume any discussion resulting from men being alone is distasteful, oppressive, anti-women, and anti-LGBT. I had a friend in college describe it as ye olde "men have plenty of spaces, they are considered the default". To which I think it's a matter of perspective. People who aren't men definitely seem to think there's this grand… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/03/21 04:04 PM |
| 1 | What do you think about feminists saying they aren't against flirting?Bicurious guy interested in the submissive side of BDSM here. Tangential to the topic at hand but any advice you have for navigating that side of sexual interest as a man would be great. I keep getting the feeling I'm just not really in a super desirable demographic and it messed with my self esteem | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/21 07:38 PM |
| 7 | What do you think about feminists saying they aren't against flirting?I'm with you. As a shy introverted guy, flirting absolutely feels like a necessary evil that's been thrust on me by society. I'd absolutely love to never have to do it again, but the odds are simply not in my favor (at least when pursuing women, men are a different story). I think the sheer reality for men knowing if we don't put some work in and take a few chances that we could very well be alone for years doesn't really hit women. Most women really don't "get" it, at least from what I've seen.… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/21 04:31 PM |
| 0 | “You only mention men when something happens to women to try and ‘minimise’ women’s issues. You’re ‘de-railing’ the conversation.”Jeez, no need to insult the dude. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/03/21 01:05 PM |
| 16 | “You only mention men when something happens to women to try and ‘minimise’ women’s issues. You’re ‘de-railing’ the conversation.”I really just dislike the line "derailing the conversation" because it's almost always used against me to invalidate any caring of men at all. Like, I've had people throw at me that I don't actually care about men and that I'm only throwing something out there because I want to silence women. For the life of me I don't fucking understand it. My ex is a radical feminist and she could not wrap her head around caring for more than one topic at a time. Thats all this is to me. I can care about women… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/21 11:14 PM |
| 3 | Do you think the undersexualization of men is a barrier in the conversation about the oversexualization of women?Don't get me wrong, but I've always felt that the "explanations" to guys fall short. Explaining that it's frightening if someone much larger than you propositions something at an inappropriate time isn't going to get through to many men because they still haven't had the experience with that. You're asking them to imagine feelings and a response to a situation that's fairly common for women but just doesn't happen to men. For a lot of guys the explanation you provided comes off as "you do realiz… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 05:27 PM |
| 9 | Do you think the undersexualization of men is a barrier in the conversation about the oversexualization of women?Don't get me wrong, I just feel like the lines are a little blurred. For me, I think wolf whistling or approaching a random stranger at night are grounds to worry about safety. I worry about my own safety as a 6'1" 200lb guy if someone approaches me at night for no reason. There's just an increasing push to validate women's concerns for literally anything they perceive as a threat. Me walking in the same direction as a woman for more than half a block can be construed as a threat. The issue here… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 05:06 PM |
| 6 | Do you think the undersexualization of men is a barrier in the conversation about the oversexualization of women?Well, that's the point of the post is it not? Men don't have the experience with being "cold approached" by someone they aren't interested in, and most imagine cold approaches to be a desirable thing because they again, don't have the experience, and may never. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 04:14 PM |
| 3 | Do you think the undersexualization of men is a barrier in the conversation about the oversexualization of women?As someone who leans feminine but is too hesitant to go full femboy, this kind of shocks me. I haven't seen those types of complaints, but I don't look into the community too much. Could you explain a bit more about what's going on there? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 05:12 AM |
| 10 | The disappearance of Sarah Everard has raised a huge amount of anti-male sentiment in the UKThe issue is the rhetoric you're pushing of imposing that one must be cruel and heartless to focus on a sub-issue rather than the perceived main one. I'm not keeping up with this issue. I don't live in the UK. Is it horrible that a woman was kidnapped and murdered? Absolutely. Is it something that needs to be talked about? For sure! But the people here are neither kidnappers nor murderers (or at least, I'll give them the good faith assumption they are not). They see this act and are as horrified… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 02:41 AM |
| 16 | Do you think the undersexualization of men is a barrier in the conversation about the oversexualization of women?It shows up a lot in relationship boundaries too, I've noticed | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 02:22 AM |
| 49 | Do you think the undersexualization of men is a barrier in the conversation about the oversexualization of women?Oh, I absolutely think this is an issue. I once made a couple posts in r/unpopularopinion about it and got some traction, but also got called a sexist mysoginist incel, so there's that. It's a conversation topic I'll avoid straight up with women. Because they don't understand the opposite of it. If you ask some guys why they catcall women, what's the response you tend to get? "Wow, it was a compliment - can't a woman take a compliment these days?" I won't defend catcalling and harassment but... … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/21 02:19 AM |
| 12 | I think this article makes sense, and may even be an eye-opener for men who don't understand some weird cases of rejection they've experienced.This is one of those women-are-not-a-monolith-but-theres-a-grain-of-truth-there topics. I've met women who can't stand "the chase". I've met others who have said if a guy she's interested in doesn't have the balls to make a move on it, then he's not compatible. I consider those both valid options. But at the end of the day, they are options. So I will continue to advocate that women be more communicative with their desires and offload some of this "chasing" that's highly gendered so that more me… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/03/21 01:47 PM |
| 9 | Not a man, but I wrote an article on the state of modern masculinity through the lens of the loneliest men I've spoken to. This is very much the perspective of an outsider. Maybe you will like it.The paradox of women initiating romantic and sexual encounters is something that bothers me a lot. I will freely admit it's made me more than a little jaded in times past. Whenever I've managed to ask a woman why she doesn't initiate, their response is almost always that she fears rejection, and that initiating is difficult and frightening. No shit. I have yet to meet someone who admits that and actually connects the dots to that being the default experience for men. That came as a huge shock to… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/03/21 05:05 PM |
| 8 | Telling boys to just “not rape” people is very lazy advice that doesn’t actually address the problemHonestly so much agreed. I definitely lean left when it comes to most political issues but the branding from the left really struggles. On one hand, I struggle to blame some for it. If they've never grown up among the right, they legitimately might just not understand that a lot of their beliefs aren't held in hate. Hate is an unfortunate result of some problematic beliefs, but by and large if you accuse someone of "hating" women/minorities/transfolk that emotion isn't really there. It's way mor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/21 06:34 AM |
| 20 | Telling boys to just “not rape” people is very lazy advice that doesn’t actually address the problemThis reminds me of a friend of mine . One day he got his ass chewed out because he got a little handsy with his gf watching a movie at his place. Apparently she "had enough of him groping her" and laid into him. I don't consider myself someone who victim shames, but they were in a committed relationship and they both tended to get handsy with each other off and on. There wasn't a "no, I'm not in the mood" from her or anything. Just one second she was fine and appeared to be cool with it, and the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/21 03:59 AM |
| 34 | Telling boys to just “not rape” people is very lazy advice that doesn’t actually address the problemThey think murder, rape, domestic violence against women can be erradicated by simple "facts" or "theory", or even changing some minimal aspect of language. This is what continuously gets me about Twitter feminism. It's so entrenched in preaching to the choir it's not even funny. Repeating yourself six times in a tweet likely won't have much impact at all. Spouting off short phrases as if they are silver bullets educating the rapists of the world is fucking crazy. Most change like this starts in… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/21 03:50 AM |
| 7 | "entitlement" when used in the realm of gender discussions is a word I've come to dislike. This is why.Actual rocket scientist here. Isn't this the exact opposite argument you just made? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/03/21 07:52 AM |
| 3 | Can we talk about how feminists seem to want men to be women in male bodies?To some extent. I do think that being a man nets me certain advantages, like when it comes to my assumed skill level or authority in the workplace. I also think it comes with certain disadvantages, like disposability and lack of empathy at large. I also agree that there are certain gender standards that are holding us back, but I think these exist for men and women and are perpetuated by both groups. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/03/21 06:02 PM |
| 5 | Can we talk about how feminists seem to want men to be women in male bodies?Well, the defective women tying should have been my title, because that's definitely the behavior I'm trying to describe | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/03/21 01:10 PM |
| 6 | There's no reason to believe men will start emotionally supporting each other within our lifetimes.If I'm being 100% honest? I have no idea if it would be fulfilling or not. I'm actually really scared to try it. My gut feeling is that it wouldn't produce fulfillment in the long term. It definitely wouldn't be a relationship substitute, but at the moment I'm too frightened to attempt relationships or casual sex IRL, but I still have that itch of humanization and validation. I really just want someone to scratch that itch and show I matter... I know that it wouldn't be genuine doing this route,… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 11:40 PM |
| 5 | There's no reason to believe men will start emotionally supporting each other within our lifetimes.I never quite thought about it this way but in one town I lived in I was very happily a member of a Makerspace - which you likely already know about as a fellow engineer. It was a gender neutral organization but in hindsight it was definitely a place where mainly men congregated and just shot the shit. There wasn't machismo or bravado or competition for anything, we literally talked about beekeeping and video games and stuff. Sadly I've moved to a new city and haven't found quite the same enviro… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 11:37 PM |
| 3 | There's no reason to believe men will start emotionally supporting each other within our lifetimes.Are you me? Depends, does your ex most likely have a personality disorder and is relentlessly hypocritical when it comes to these types of issues? Very true. A big assumption I see made in people's discourse, in the media, and especially on the internet, is that if you're a man dealing with loneliness or depression you can only be a liability. Of course no one is going to get close with these men if we treat them that way. Fucking feels. I've been debating for a while if I want to start an OnlyF… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 09:02 PM |
| 23 | There's no reason to believe men will start emotionally supporting each other within our lifetimes.This brings up a rant that I've been stewing over for a while. I really don't think many women know the absolute power they have in relationships and over men in general. I have been in a relationship where my boundaries were absolutely steamrolled, and a big part of that steamrolling was gaslighting me over what a "good" man was supposed to do in a relationship. That echoes with what you're saying about men's "free" time - a good man would want to spend as much time as possible with his partner… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 08:40 PM |
| 26 | There's no reason to believe men will start emotionally supporting each other within our lifetimes.I can agree that this is often a cop-out answer used against men. My ex told me straight to my face that I "should get more male friends" if I wanted to discuss my issues. The hypocrisy was not lost on me considering she attempted suicide several times while we were together and I spent hours on hours trying to comfort her during depressive episodes. Frankly, I would argue that the people who say this often don't have a good idea of what male friendship is, or lack the understanding of how isola… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 08:35 PM |
| 8 | Female supremacy in the justice system.I'm curious to ask where the "basic psychology" comes from, but I'm afraid I'll get a biologic essentialist answer | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 05:34 AM |
| 16 | Female supremacy in the justice system.I think you may have misinterpreted what I was thinking because the study I linked to was showing the opposite effect. This isn't an attack on you by the way (I noticed you self-inserted your person into the story), it is simply evidence that women aren't unbiased by default simply because of their female identity. Packing courts with women assures greater diversity, but does not assure less bias - which seems like what you're trying to argue. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 03:26 AM |
| 17 | Female supremacy in the justice system.Women aren’t gonna look at gender nearly as much as men. While the rest of this is something I'd rather agree to disagree on out of principle, you may find it interesting that women generally have a much stronger bias towards women then men have towards men. To put it succinctly, there's no guarantee that women will look at gender as an aspect less than men. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 03:12 AM |
| 12 | Female supremacy in the justice system.To be fair, I also have disagreements with the OP. However, the reason you're being downvoted is because you were dismissive of the issue at hand and phrased your response in a way that is unnecessarily biting at men. What you've written in the comments shows a lot more nuance and understanding then your initial comment implied. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 01:12 AM |
| 28 | Female supremacy in the justice system.Those certainly don't seem like issues men caused on their own, or that only women can fix. I know you only applied that to sentencing previously, but what you've written here seems to have taken a dramatic turn from the attitude you displayed before, and shows that there's a lot more going on than simply "men commit more crime". Not that I had any issue with that statement, I'm more upset by the notion that the solution to fix the problem is simply to add more women into the mix instead of tack… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 01:07 AM |
| 21 | Female supremacy in the justice system.I'm just going to say that I think you're looking at things on a very surface level and not asking any "devils advocate" questions for your stance. The legal system is more then 80% men, more then 70% of judges are male, this is an issue men made themselves and can only be fixed by insisting more women join into the system. No offense, but you come across as extremely biased with this statement. Are men incapable of reassessing their positions? I'm all for more female judges but shouting "women … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/03/21 12:40 AM |
| 3 | How incessant nagging is a form of domestic abuseThis was a refreshing read. However, it left me very confused. I've been in a relationship with a person who felt like if I didn't pick up on the way she wanted things done that I didn't care about her. Where exactly is this messaging coming from? Where are we telling women that a man is selfish for not picking up on small details or occasionally making mistakes? I really struggle with understanding this mindset as a guy. I've been berated and told I'm a selfish asshole who doesn't care about an… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/03/21 06:37 AM |
| 10 | How Hegemonic Masculinity Gets Gender History Wrong - Woke FatherIt's almost like men throughout history are nuanced and masculinity isn't a monolith 🤔 | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/21 07:34 PM |
| 1 | I fear the conversation regarding romantic initiation is too fucked up to be productiveHa, I say that because while I'm a man I'm personally more drawn to androgynous fashion. So, not really, I just put it there since I've said before I'd like to wear that kind of stuff in public | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/21 01:58 PM |
| 5 | I fear the conversation regarding romantic initiation is too fucked up to be productiveAnd I largely agree, but I feel there's something to be said when there's an expectation for men to initiate that changes how many people view romance. On the individual level, absolutely, it's your choice to initiate or not. On a more broad level, it certainly wouldn't hurt if more women were exposed to initiation being a legitimate option for them. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/21 02:52 AM |
| 15 | I fear the conversation regarding romantic initiation is too fucked up to be productiveI mean, I'm not into the whole MGTOW thing very much. Being accused of harassment or something by approaching a woman isn't really something I worry about because any approaching I do is generally mild and I don't think the majority of women are unreasonable with their reactions. That being said, I am acutely aware of if something were to happen in that sense, I'm going to look worse because I'm a male. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/02/21 07:08 PM |
| 42 | I fear the conversation regarding romantic initiation is too fucked up to be productiveWomen aren’t expected to pursue men romantically by directly approaching a guy they like and seeing their experiences with men who don’t get the hint, perhaps they don’t want to be seen as the creepy initiator. Hence the pushback. So women are hardly a monolith, but from my peers in college and close female friends... the most common answer when I ask them why they don't initiate is because it makes them anxious and they are scared of rejection. Which more often than not felt like a slap in the … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/02/21 04:33 PM |
| 7 | I always struggle with how to react to posts like thisHonestly, torn myself on this one. It's not the best mentality, but I can get where she's coming from? I dunno, maybe I'm weird. I feel like I don't find it difficult to make judgements on someone's character without spending a lot of time or energy interacting with them. Basically, I'm also predisposed to be anxious about people I don't know and don't always trust them. But that anxiety is easily rectified or heightened after some short interactions with a person. That isn't to say that I don't… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/02/21 08:26 PM |
| 1 | A crosspost from /r/menslib. How feminist/TERF messaging is actively harmful to men and masculine identifying persons.I have more to add to it that I forgot to write but sleep well | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/02/21 02:01 PM |
| 2 | A crosspost from /r/menslib. How feminist/TERF messaging is actively harmful to men and masculine identifying persons.This sub exists and shows otherwise, but what are the reasons you do agree with? Are there men that you do admire, that you do not see as ugly and unlovable? Frankly, that's a weird bit being a bicurious male. Men are fucking intriguing but I feel like my socialization towards them is rife with skepticism because they are men and they must want my asshole. I mostly see myself as ugly and unlovable because that's basically a prerequisite to being a guy. I have to be confident but also humble, so … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/02/21 05:53 AM |
| 8 | A crosspost from /r/menslib. How feminist/TERF messaging is actively harmful to men and masculine identifying persons.In all honesty? I don't want to be a man anymore. I'm late to this conversation and suspect it won't matter but this is a fucking pervasive issue that has 100% led to me hating myself. I get huge doses of this online if I look at any "female" coded space. There's just a ton of shit that gets spread about men and I can't deal with it all. My one romantic relationship was with a gender-essentialist feminist and it got absolutely drilled into my head that men are shit and women are better. I've bee… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/02/21 07:47 PM |
| 6 | I don't know how many of you need to hear this.Just devils-advocating here, but that's often what feminism breeds in a certain type of person. I've seen this response in a lot of men I've met - they hear women talking about their horrible experiences with men and internalize all of it, to the point where they view almost any interaction with a woman as a potential way to come across as "creepy". I've said it before, I'm not an anti-feminist. But I think that this reaction deserves some discussion, because it's usually the more sensitive peop… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/02/21 01:36 PM |
| 8 | I feel guilty for wanting the dating experience of a womanAgreed, I have no desire to make someone jump through arbitrary hoops to impress me or "prove their value" somehow when they are not obligated to me in any way. Likewise, after one abusive relationship I'm not looking for another. On the other hand, wanting to occasionally be the object of someone's affection and filtering out those who have arbitrary relationship hoops to jump through/problematic behaviors feels like I'm self-selecting out of 90% of the population. That in itself is a whole oth… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/02/21 04:51 PM |
| 16 | Does anyone else get annoyed by mens rights' activists glorifying masculinity?I feel the same way sometimes. I'm not traditionally masculine, or at least, I'd approach more "feminine" things if I felt society let me out of the expectations to be masculine. For me, I try to see it as an option. I know I don't want to be super masculine but I understand that others feel an identity in it, and they deserve just as much as I do to be who they want to be. Likewise, I can see a lot of times masculinity is under fire. For me, feminism is bittersweet because it has a tendency to … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/02/21 08:05 PM |
| 11 | How would you argue that most girls enjoy the attention they say they are annoyed by.It feels as though however there are far more groups and organizations dedicated to getting men to understand women's life experiences, but those same groups and organizations also baulk at even the possibility of doing the same for men to get women to understand them. It's a really shitty situation. Agreed. I've tried explaining a couple times to a female friend why there are so many men who think catcalling or inappropriately-timed romantic comments towards women are okay. I'm no researcher, s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/02/21 05:49 PM |
| 25 | How would you argue that most girls enjoy the attention they say they are annoyed by.I'd say that most women are telling the truth, actually. Attention is a weird thing. I'm pretty darn lonely when you get down to it - I often catch myself desiring attention, even if it isn't in the most healthy ways. Now, as a guy, I don't usually get much attention at all. With one exception - I'm bicurious, and it's MUCH easier to get sexual and romantic attention from men. It's weird though, because the few times I've had men drop into my dms in this manner... I have been annoyed. It's easy … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/02/21 02:29 PM |
| 5 | To the people who argue this: if men feel like they are being treated unequally based on gender then they should support feminism because feminists also oppose the systemI think eventually we'll hit a wall and disagree on stuff. I generally agree with your definition of gender roles, it seems to be a buzzword that's used instead of describing actual behaviors that need changed. The "normalization of abnormality" bit is where we fundamentally differ. Granted, I'm still figuring out my position on all of it but I generally believe that people that go "outside the mold" of the standards and norms we've established have existed for a very long time. More importantly… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/02/21 06:25 AM |
| 1 | Do you ever experience a feeling of guilt for being male?I'll be straight up with you my dude. Generally, no, I don't feel guilt about being male. I am pretty sure I get bouts of gender dysphoria though where I get fairly uncomfortable about being male, and definitely want to be female, but I'm willing to bet it's not the same feeling. I'm self-diagnosing here but I'm like 99% sure I suffer from some mild form of OCD. Reading parts of your original post, I can see some of the same tendencies in myself that you clearly deal with. It's so easy for me to… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/02/21 05:48 AM |
| 17 | To the people who argue this: if men feel like they are being treated unequally based on gender then they should support feminism because feminists also oppose the systemWell, I don't think men and women are necessarily blank slates, but I do think the average person wants more variance in their social role than society currently allots. Idk, I kind of figure it's a spectrum. You have people out there that bask in masculinity and love it... and then you have dudes like me who wear leggings and shit. But overall the spectrum of desired roles has two sex-based peaks where most people want to be masculine or feminine. The real squicky stuff happens when acknowledgi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/02/21 05:27 AM |
| 2 | I'm tired of my emotional expression being co-opted and fetishizedDon't get me wrong here, but with this kind of sentiment I feel like the answer is simple: if we want men to be more comfortable expressing emotions, we have to do it the fuck ourselves. I can't control anyone else's actions, but I can show my male friends that I am willing to be open to their vulnerabilities, and that the parts of themselves they choose to reveal are safe and private barring they might hurt someone. And though I can't control anyone else's actions, I can call out those who are … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/02/21 07:17 AM |
| 3 | I'm tired of my emotional expression being co-opted and fetishizedHonestly, it's a tough situation. I don't feel compelled to masculinity but I haven't been able to embrace femininity head-on either. Maybe it's my conservative roots and my own anxiety about what others think that's keeping me back, but there are so many things I see in femininity that I pine for and feel like I just won't get to experience. To find beauty in my physical being instead of flabbyness at worst and chiseled ambivalence at best... To have the full range of female emotional expressio… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/02/21 07:06 AM |
| 3 | I'm tired of my emotional expression being co-opted and fetishizedI think many feminists are quick to underestimate what kind of emotional labor is expected from men. This is actually one of my favorite reddit comments about it because it describes the situation so well. Granted, I'm not anti-feminist. I see lots of "emotional labor" that's shifted in a primarily feminine direction. I simply don't think there's much consideration from that side of the isle on the emotional labor put on men to exist in an emotionally isolated box and not ever break out of it be… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/02/21 01:25 AM |
| 22 | I'm tired of my emotional expression being co-opted and fetishizedIt's also a catch-22 when discussing the issue at hand. Inevitably, someone will come along with anecdotes about how some random man just came up to them and started laying out childhood traumas and stuff like that. I don't know what it is about me that comes off as a trustworthy person, but I've been the victim of that multiple times from men and women. People are eager to overshare with you if they feel like they've found a non-judgmental and open ear. I've had some women claim to my face that… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/01/21 06:56 PM |
| 12 | I'm tired of my emotional expression being co-opted and fetishizedI'm actually nearly certain that modern feminism has had a non-null effect on my reoccurring gender dysphoria and general malaise at being male. If I don't fit into the standard box of masculinity, and there's a whole slew of bad actors out there that are saying men are essentially failed women, it's very palatable to think... maybe things would be better for me on the other side. Once I'm free from that masculinity box then I'll be whole, right? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/01/21 06:52 PM |
| 8 | I'm tired of my emotional expression being co-opted and fetishizedBut I have also found myself uncomfortable around men crying. I certainly hope I've never outwardly shown that kind of discomfort, but if I'm being honest, I have felt it. You know what? That's totally fine. It's absolutely fine to have those feelings. I've experienced discomfort around sensitive or crying men myself. What's important is that you recognized it's a gut reaction and it's not how you want to react. Not to mention, I think these are skills everyone has a hard time with. In college I… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/01/21 06:47 PM |
| 6 | The double standard of "friend-zoning"?Agree to disagree, I guess. What this person made abundantly clear is they didn't give a fuck about my feelings. If it was crushing to be near them after all this she didn't give a fuck as long as I carried out things like they had never happened. As long as I matched what she needed, it was fine - to hell with what my emotional needs were. I needed a break, and I was treated like garbage for wanting that. Maybe I have a torn up view of friendship, but if a close friend of mine decided to ghost … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/01/21 07:47 AM |
| 7 | The double standard of "friend-zoning"?I mean no offense but this shouldn't be something necessitating substantiation. If I wish to walk away from someone it may be difficult, but I should in no way owe that person my friendship simply because they didn't want to take it to the next level. In terms of context though, we were friends for three or so years and had attempted some semblance of a relationship - albeit one that was explicitly "labelless" after some conversation. I grew feelings for her, she didn't towards me. When the dust… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/01/21 06:28 AM |
| 13 | The double standard of "friend-zoning"?It's just frustrating when I often hear this from the same crowd that says they don't own men anything. If men aren't owed attention simply because they demand it (which I don't believe they are) then I would at least hope they are ideologically consistent and would admit that guys don't owe them anything if they deem a relationship not worth the time or effort. It was really frustrating, especially to be accused of only being friends for "fuckability". It feels like people can just write off an… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/01/21 03:47 AM |
| 15 | Can we discuss the BS claim that "men can walk wherever they want at any time and not worry about their safety ever"?they would explain to you basically how we treat men in society : expose people some danger or violence, and expect them to take care of it on their own, and they get trained to just be able to deal with it. Feminism aside, this is the issue I have with the system as it is currently. I'm honestly a pretty fearful, paranoid person. But you'd never ever see me show that, aside from maybe a slight quickening in my step. As men we are not only told to not show feelings - we also generally get enough… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/01/21 05:17 PM |
| 1 | Tom Brady discusses how privileged his father was in contrast to the oppression of his motherNah I don't see it either | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/01/21 12:52 AM |
| 11 | Feminism and homophobiaI was very specific with my word choices. Catcalling isn't trying to assert moral superiority over your life and sexuality. No offense but I really don't put catcalling in the same category as discrimination based on sexuality. Both suck - and it's awful that women have to go through catcalling on a greater scale than men for sure - but I don't think it's fair to compare it to being told you are broken or immoral for not being heterosexual. So I get what you are saying but I was trying to be spe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/01/21 02:29 PM |
| 5 | Feminism and homophobiaI won't lie, as someone AMAB I've always wondered what the experience of FtM folks is like... I guess I get the feeling like there's some kind of inner circle of "sisterhood" that evaporates and I can't imagine what the actual social ramifications are of that occurring | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/01/21 07:38 PM |
| 19 | Feminism and homophobia"people are a lot more open to the gay community then they are toward women." Fuck that. As a bicurious guy, there's a huge fucking reason I don't show interest in guys out on the street. Fun fact: it's because I live in a conservative state and I'd rather not have people telling me I'm a fucking faggot who's going to hell. Funny how women can walk around in the same areas and not have anyone try to claim moral superiority. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/01/21 04:56 AM |
| 1 | The Male sexual reward system cannot be completely controlled, and it is exploited by many for profit. At what point does it make sense to start pushing back against this?Sorry I keep popping up at different points in this thread but this intrigues me - if you're comfortable, would you mind explaining what kind of effects your sexuality has on your distraction/day to day life? Maybe I'm simply lacking in identifying experiences other men generally share | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/01/21 07:36 AM |
| 1 | The Male sexual reward system cannot be completely controlled, and it is exploited by many for profit. At what point does it make sense to start pushing back against this?I don't really think I'm agreeable to this kind of thought process... I don't think men are expected to have no sexual thoughts in the workplace, we are only not supposed to act on them which I think is agreeable... Your last comment about statistics leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You're suggesting sexual assault is inevitable because it's a numbers game and some men just can't help themselves. I'm fully with the feminists on this one that the statistical chance of a horrible thing happening do… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/01/21 06:08 PM |
| 3 | The Male sexual reward system cannot be completely controlled, and it is exploited by many for profit. At what point does it make sense to start pushing back against this?Corporations tantalize men with sexual imagery to sell products and profit. Tangential, but my sexual desires seem different than most men and I've got somewhat of a low libido in general. It was an absolute stunner to hear that some men get turned on by a provocatively dressed woman in something like a beer commercial. That's never happened to me - I can see the appeal I guess, but personally that kind of imagery doesn't do much to me unless I'm romantically engaged with the person. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/01/21 03:04 AM |
| 3 | Dealing with the accusation that we are advocating for males as a "backlash against feminism."Men and women both face issues. It's obvious that the world is focussed on women's issues at the minute (which is a real historical anomaly) but I never see feminists genuinely denying the importance of issues like male suicide, prison rape etc. I'll try to offer a different perspective here: few "real" feminists - and by that I mean feminists who aren't in it solely as a tool to vent at men in a socially acceptable fashion - don't deny the importance of those issues. And frankly, why would they… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/01/21 06:59 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with the accusation that we are advocating for males as a "backlash against feminism."I've had disastrous encounters with people where I hinted at these beliefs and they look at me like I'm some kind of white-nationalist-sympathizing, America-hating, authoritarian-loving person. How dare you look at these rioters with nuance! I can't believe you'd look at them as people! It's not that I don't think the rioters did nothing wrong, because I can absolutely condemn their actions - it's noting that a system that fails people is a failure of a system. No one seems to want to acknowledg… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/01/21 06:46 PM |
| 6 | Suffrage was primarily a class issue, not a gender one.As far as I can tell it's mostly anti-traditionalist men or at least people that accept LGTBQ+ folks and are more flexible on gendered roles than most people | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/01/21 03:36 AM |
| 2 | Suffrage was primarily a class issue, not a gender one.Admittedly parts of it simply reduce down to a "well men had it worse!" argument which I can't reasonably back because I despise when people attempt to say someone's suffering is worth more than another's. Really, my main issue is with the generalization. Call me a "not all suffragetes" poster but I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt that some did indeed fight for men or that some had pretty poor lives. Regarding your last sentence, I agree. I don't think the price of suffrage can be compa… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/21 07:13 PM |
| 2 | Suffrage was primarily a class issue, not a gender one.I'm usually okay with these being posted, but if I'm being completely honest here, I think the next to last slide about suffragetes staying safely at home, campaigning for women only, is a bit disingenuous. I know it's a bad period to compare to since men were literally being shipped off to war, but it wasn't solely wartime for men. Everybody in this time period had to sacrifice. Not to mention that surely not all of these people were campaigning for women only. Sorry, I just feel like this miss… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/21 04:44 PM |
| 4 | "Today is the last day that a woman has never been vice president."Actually, you make a good point. I'm not at all upset with Harris being VP, I'm more upset with the potential reasons Harris was chosen as VP. She really seems like no one's ideal candidate and I was honestly expecting Warren to be chosen. May just be the progressive in me speaking... | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/21 01:11 PM |
| 8 | "Today is the last day that a woman has never been vice president."I'm actually fine with this one and it doesn't bother me. Call it what you will but personally I find it more pandering when the barriers to something have been broken for some time and the media still blitzes to highlight gender over accomplishments. That's not the case here - it's historic that Harris will be the first female VP, in the same it was historic that Obama was the first African-American president. She may not be my ideal choice of candidate but it's still pretty remarkable that a w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/21 03:38 AM |
| 2 | Hen/bachelorette parties - "male slaves"Guy here into BDSM in a subsurvient role. As others have said, that's a poor example of BDSM and I can generally agree with you that male "performers" having fewer boundaries and less respect than women performing similar roles is a bad thing. However, I will say that not all BDSM is degrading. I enjoy BDSM and I enjoy aspects of it that place me in control or at the desires of another person. It may seem degrading to be more of a sex object, but if it's a role I've chosen and negotiated for, th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/21 03:32 AM |
| 29 | Some stereotypes about what men supposedly talk about in private.Attraction is a big one that bothers me a lot. I've had extremely good female friends think that all men talk about when they are alone is women. Whether objectifying or shaming them. It was funny when she applied it to me, because I don't speak about people's appearances and very rarely find someone "hot" enough to warrant instant attraction. It seems a lot of people want to attribute the actions of men who are loudspoken about their attraction (or lack thereof) as being a result of something m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/21 02:13 AM |
| 1 | Productively approaching online dating - how can I convey my preferences and beliefs without appearing embittered?I mean, that's kind of what I fear. I'm cool not putting gender politics onto my bio - I mean, I'd hint at it with the being approached stuff, but at the end of the day I'm afraid if I don't play the game then there's just nothing that will happen | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/01/21 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Are there stereotypes about men from feminist that you don't understand?I'm 99% positive she has a personality disorder that (in part) causes a lot of "us vs. them" mentality. I'm playing psychologist here, but I'm almost certain it manifested itself a lot with feminism because it offers a crowd where her internal dialogue and black and white thinking is validated. I try not to hold it too much against her, but then again she knows something is off regarding her mental health and hasn't made an effort to try to get treatment. She said the thing about male friends in… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/01/21 06:08 AM |
| 10 | Are there stereotypes about men from feminist that you don't understand?I never really thought about it but wow, you're right. Throw in post-apocalyptic settings and I'm automatically assuming that most male characters will try to hook up with female characters - or worse, try to assault them. I know women have to deal with that threat but thinking on this I'd love to see a better representation of men in this kind of media because it's nearly a trope. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/01/21 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Are there stereotypes about men from feminist that you don't understand?You have no idea lol | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/01/21 07:52 PM |
| 3 | Are there stereotypes about men from feminist that you don't understand?I've had a friend literally tell me to "find more men to share your feelings with because I'm not responsible for your emotional labor". Like, sheesh, a simple "I'm going through some stuff and really can't be there for you right now" would have been perfectly fine. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/01/21 05:23 PM |
| 12 | Are there stereotypes about men from feminist that you don't understand?I'm very torn on this issue as well. On one hand, I can grant some sort of agreement with the concept that some men will flock to women as people they feel will be receptive to their emotions since they shouldn't discuss them with other men. On the other, I definitely think the line is blurred as far as women generating emotional labor. Most of my male friends in relationships seem to be concerned - more so than their female counterparts - with placating their partner and making sure their emoti… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/01/21 03:20 PM |
| 9 | Are there stereotypes about men from feminist that you don't understand?That men are terrified of anything "feminine" because we view femininity as weak. I'm exploring a lot of feminine stuff and the reason I don't go out in public wearing nail polish isn't that I'll be viewed as weaker for doing it, it's because nail polish is a decidedly feminine-coded thing and I do not stand a chance at presenting androgynously. Men not partaking in feminine coded things has so much less to do with mysoginy and way more to do with social expectations. Talking to feminists though… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/01/21 02:33 PM |
| 5 | Reputation ruinedI agree with this approach. There's a time and a place for everything, and it's easy to get steamrolled. I think it's worthwhile to listen to people and ask if it's okay to bring up the topic of men's issues if you're doing so as a response since it is easily considered a derailment for a lot of people. | /r/MensRights | 22/12/20 03:28 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone here had experiences with a feminist as a significant other?Thanks for this. It was a well written post and you spent way more time digging into why someone would personally do these things than attacking feminism itself. It's just sad when I agree with most of someone's beliefs they say they have, but then they turn out to not be a very kind person at the end of the day. | /r/MensRights | 21/12/20 03:12 PM |
| 53 | Women overestimate men's attractedness to thin body typesThis issue hit particularly close to home as I've had a girlfriend who for the life of me would not understand that I found her attractive even though she was overweight by 50lbs. Furthermore, it goes to further prove that for men, body types are usually just a literal preference and nothing more. Few men in my personal life have been adamant about saying or marrying women of a particular body type. I don't think I've ever encountered the trope of a guy seriously judging women by attractiveness … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/12/20 08:44 AM |
| 10 | Left wing right wingI mean, to some extent I do. My interpretation of the "patriarchy" is a bit more milquetoast. As far as I see it, a small subset of men have been at the forefront of society, and so traditionally male interests are overrepresented in society. This inevitably leads to SOME forms of privilege that men have by virtue of being male - like being more easily linked to values of authority and respect, etc. However, I disagree that men's issues are a byproduct of this, or that women of devoid of privile… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 08:44 PM |
| 4 | I just found out #notallmen is a mocked meme from feminism. Did you know this?Exactly. I had this argument with a close friend of mine over the slogan "the future is female". She told me how hateful and close-minded it was to be offended by it - which I wasn't even truly offended. I simply disagreed that it was a good slogan and said I would not choose to make similar statements myself. Was "Our future is together" taken? When your saying ends up with you taking more time and energy explaining what it's supposed to mean, it's a shit saying, imo. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 08:10 PM |
| 16 | Left wing right wingI dunno, I've seen a lot more people labeling themselves antifeminists here than I am personally comfortable with. I guess I don't think I'm anti-feminism so much as anti-misandry. Granted, I think there's a lot of feminists out there that have a misandry problem, my issue is just that people are fearful to call it out lest they lose their feminism card. I can think of stuff I probably hold controversial opinions about but the bulk of my opinion does boil down to "both sexes have been dealt a sh… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 08:04 PM |
| 31 | Left wing right wingI'm a bit different politically than this subreddit seems to attract, but I'll share my thoughts. Basically, I'm looking for a place that's a step between r/MensLib and r/MensRights. I definitely think feminism, as a whole, isn't unwarranted and women do face issues that men do not. I also am agreeable to feminist concepts and beliefs like women being seen as inferior in the workplace or being taken less seriously throughout their lives. However, I don't think feminism is, as an entity, free of … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 06:57 PM |
| 5 | " How should we teach bodily autonomy to boys? " the men's lib misandric narrative continue.It's a transgender subreddit where people are literally transitioning to men my dude | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 06:35 PM |
| 4 | " How should we teach bodily autonomy to boys? " the men's lib misandric narrative continue.Gonna go out on a limb here and say that FTM is definitely NOT a man hating sub | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 03:54 PM |
| 3 | I just found out #notallmen is a mocked meme from feminism. Did you know this?This is actually explained away pretty well once you strip away the facade of what the words look like and look at what a feminist "means" by them. To them, they are implying that the male power structure (patriarchy) must hold other men responsible - e.g. society at large should hold men more accountable, which I can kind of get behind. Of course, it's so lost in phraseology that you don't really hear people saying that anymore and using cheap misleading phrases instead. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 03:39 PM |
| 7 | I just found out #notallmen is a mocked meme from feminism. Did you know this?That's my actual issue with slogans like this. I understand completely that what you say is fundamentally different from what you mean when you say "men are trash", but HOW HARD IS IT to say what you mean instead? You don't see many men doing the same because we have been taught most of our lives to not make harmful generalizations to women. Like, there are active campaigns against it. You wouldn't catch most men making broad statements like "women are shit" - they would be pretty universally ha… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/12/20 02:45 PM |
| 7 | Post on TwoX has users lavishing over how "romantic" a random compliment can be, despite the same scenario being viewed extremely negatively in other parts of the subVery much agreed. But the messaging on this topic is SO mixed and toxic that it makes me very wary to tread through | /r/MensRights | 16/12/20 01:23 AM |
| 2 | Post on TwoX has users lavishing over how "romantic" a random compliment can be, despite the same scenario being viewed extremely negatively in other parts of the subJust for context, this has reached a prominent position on r/all so it came across my feed. And I, for one, am very confused. Reading this story, it's about some guy who compliments a woman for her appearance... and everyone in the comments is fawning over it? The story came off as extremely creepy to me and I am very confused at the sudden reversal twoX is apparently having in discussion of someone's appearance. Like, if I had overheard this I would be worried that the woman was uncomfortable a… | /r/MensRights | 16/12/20 01:08 AM |
| 4 | Apparently, twoX now condones randomly commenting on someone's appearance?Just for context, this has reached a prominent position on r/all so it came across my feed. And I, for one, am very confused. Reading this story, it's about some guy who compliments a woman for her appearance... and everyone in the comments is fawning over it? The story came off as extremely creepy to me and I am very confused at the sudden reversal twoX is apparently having in discussion of someone's appearance. Talk about giving mixed messages... | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/12/20 09:23 PM |
| 9 | The term "toxic masculinity" is hateful. people never use it to help men but always to demonize and degrade men and boys. stop making excuses about the use of it.Personally I have mixed feelings on the term. In it's academic form I am fairly agreeable on it, but perhaps that's because I've rejected a lot of aspects about masculinity that are often assigned toxicity (dating rituals and the like). My issue with the term used in non-academic settings is that it's generally a Kafka-trap. Meaning, it has no defense, it's a thought-stopping cliche - which you've described. If you fail to appease whoever you're debating with they can simply assign your attitude… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/12/20 03:27 PM |
| 5 | The term "toxic masculinity" is hateful. people never use it to help men but always to demonize and degrade men and boys. stop making excuses about the use of it.I'm honestly so curious about this... as someone AMAB and is going through some gender questioning, the vibe I get from some progressive groups is "why would anyone want to be a man". The rejection of some parts of "traditional" masculinity I can see and understand, but I've seen groups make claims that are tantamount to female superiority and heavily imply men are just dumb aggressive brutes who are driven by testosterone and are so emotionally unavailable as to be robots. If you are fine rehas… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/12/20 03:21 PM |
| 2 | Toxic Feminism #2 Trickle Down Gender Equality - Something To Eliminate In Order To Reach A More Egalitarian Society - And An Example Of Toxic Feminism That The Feminist Movement Needs To Address Or STFU About Other Movements Forming Who Don't Do This And Stop Tone Policing (More Toxic Feminism)Honestly? That's my position entirely. I'm not anti-feminism by any means. Hell, I'd probably call myself a feminist if someone asked. But feminism claiming to do shit for men really only ends up in the trickle down effect described here. My biggest disagreement with the ideology is when they act like there aren't male-centric issues, or tell men to "make their own movement" while simultaneously shaming men trying to work on male-centric issues. Like, there are clearly problems on both sides and… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/12/20 08:58 PM |
| 7 | Toxic Feminism #2 Trickle Down Gender Equality - Something To Eliminate In Order To Reach A More Egalitarian Society - And An Example Of Toxic Feminism That The Feminist Movement Needs To Address Or STFU About Other Movements Forming Who Don't Do This And Stop Tone Policing (More Toxic Feminism)I'm firmly planted in the section that both angles carry truth. I mean, it's hard to judge given just our own perspectives, right? I'd love for men's issues to be the "bigger issue" but I feel that's rarely the case. Don't get me wrong though, I also feel like that's not always the case for women's issues too. We are all suffering and struggle with different things. I'm a guy and the issues I face daily are those that inhibit men, so I care particularly strongly about those. But I recognize that… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/12/20 04:38 AM |
| 4 | Is the Keira Bell case a men's rights issue?And the fact is that suicidal ideation and cutting is higher among kids who get these meds than kids who don't. Be very, very careful with implying causality with statements like this. It could be that those medications are more prescribed to those experiencing or having propensity for suicidal ideation to begin with. After all, those who own horses are much, much less likely to die from cancer. It isn't because horses are magical healing animals, it's because if you can afford to own a horse ch… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/12/20 12:37 AM |
| 4 | Is the Keira Bell case a men's rights issue?If that policy is true, then I agree it's a bad policy. But my feeling here is that feminism is far less at fault for it than you'd prefer it to be. Don't get me wrong, I think there are a lot of people out there that are jumping too quickly to accept someone as trans for what might not actually be the case. But it's a divisive topic because for a lot of people it isn't a fad or phase, and our current treatment options either have low efficacy or high permanence. You can't have one or the other,… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/12/20 11:10 PM |
| 3 | Is the Keira Bell case a men's rights issue?What test would that be? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/12/20 07:47 PM |
| 8 | Is the Keira Bell case a men's rights issue?As an AMAB person, I don't know much about the details of this case but I can attest to having feelings of gender dysphoria happen before in my life. I don't want to place the bar so high as to be unattainable, but the sheer experience of having the gender you wish to be not align with your body is deep and powerful and goes far past someone simply thinking "I want to be a man" (or woman. Those feelings of gender dysphoria cut deeply and I have spent many evenings in my life distraught over my h… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/12/20 07:46 PM |
| 0 | Bisexual and pan guys... how do your relationships with men differ from those with women?Judging by your pfp your pussy does make you somewhat better than other men 😂 Edit: this was a cat joke | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/12/20 07:17 PM |
| 10 | Bisexual and pan guys... how do your relationships with men differ from those with women?Sadly I've heard that sentiment from more than a couple people. Actually, my girlfriend in college had a friend who openly lamented that she was attracted to men. It was a very bizarre experience to say the least. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/12/20 05:23 PM |
| 1 | Frustrated at the lack of choice available in male gender rolesI feel really stupid making that a part of my post but like... I can't help but feel that at least in heterosexual dating gender roles are WAY more enforced than in same-sex relationships. Like, I know that there's a lot of women out there that are happy to eschew these roles and expectations but the probability of meeting one of them is much lower than meeting a bi or gay guy, if that makes sense. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/12/20 05:53 PM |
| 24 | Frustrated at the lack of choice available in male gender rolesA couple people commented on it. But it was clearly not the time or place to bring it up. And with her being a work colleague I'd much rather not add the drama | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/12/20 05:35 AM |
| 17 | Frustrated at the lack of choice available in male gender rolesI guess she appreciates "chivalry". Idk. I'm not sure how offended about it to be. I understand wanting what you want but it's extremely irksome when that comes as an imbalance to roles | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/12/20 05:25 AM |
| 7 | I took today off from work and turned into a "house husband". And I would switch roles permanently if I could.My whole issue with this is opportunity. Add in child rearing and I would not want to be the house husband at all. Granted, I don't want kids so I'm a very biased source. But the simple fact of the matter is that women are allowed the choice (in the modern day) to pursue a career or be a homemaker. Men are too, but only by technicality. Because if I were a woman, I know some of my dating prospects would approve of me being a housewife - or even push too far for me to become one. As a man, that a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/11/20 02:38 AM |
| 11 | Indian Man didn't disclose his baldness, new wife from arranged marriage registers police case.Yeah I'm not sure much should be said here considering this was an arranged marriage to begin with... | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/11/20 03:43 PM |
| 1 | How do you walk around or even accept a life of never being a full "real" manMan.... fuck. Sorry, this really is only tangential to your post but I've been really struggling with "masculinity" and how I interpret and understand myself. Long story short, I really don't know where my gender identity lies and stuff like this makes me all the more confused. Like, I really just want to be cute and shorter and curvy. But I wasn't blessed with any of that. And I have to wonder if I just want shit like boobs and stuff because I find them attractive but was raised to not really d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/10/20 05:39 AM |
| 1 | Women complain about casual sexism on reddit but I feel like they can't see that there's also casual misandry here too?How is it wrong to blame women for enforcing limited gender roles when you are placing me at blame for a dumpster fire I have no part of? I blame men too you know, I just don't think women get a free pass at holding shitty beliefs because they are women | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/10/20 02:14 PM |
| 5 | Share your personal story with feminism.Huh. I can emphasize with that because I feel it in a lot of cases (I have a ton of trouble being an "average guy") but in other cases it's fine (being the loyal/hardworking/heavy lifting dude) | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/09/20 10:51 PM |
| 4 | Share your personal story with feminism.Huh, a similar story here. A relationship with a feminist with BPD. I'm not anti-feminist by any means, but after being in a relationship with her I needed to take a break and figure out myself. That relationship kind of broke me and left me questioning my gender identity and sexuality. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/09/20 10:38 PM |
| 3 | Share your personal story with feminism.Just curious, what type of identity issues are we talking about here? Personally, I struggle with my gender identity and it got markedly worse after being in a relationship with a radical feminist | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/09/20 10:35 PM |
| 9 | If the person killing two attackers in self-defense in Kenosha was named Kate Rittenhouse, would she be charged with murder despite obvious self-defense evidence on video?This is kind of a bullshit thread. Who the hell knows what would've happened if he was a woman? Most people are still arguing over what happened despite him being a man. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/08/20 02:25 PM |
| 5 | The latest on gender blind orchestra auditions: let's get rid of them so judges can more effectively discriminate against menDo you mind explaining to me what hypergamy means? I keep seeing it around here and not gonna lie, it sounds on the surface like some puritanical thing that implies we should be shaming women for being sexually active or having many partners, which I'm not really behind... | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/08/20 11:18 PM |
| 5 | This place isn't any good either.What do you mean by "all males"? In my perspective, this place needs some work as far as actually representing left-wing views and toning down the biological gender aspects a lot. It's hard to find left wing spaces that include the occasional criticism of feminism while allowing for the exploration of gender roles and sexuality, I'll grant you that. Maybe that's just my perspective, but as a queer male I feel like I'm at the shitty intersection where feminism isn't for me but the left as a whole… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/08/20 07:23 AM |
| 5 | Ever wonder why you don't hear men complain about circumcision?The whole thing is that should be your choice to take that risk | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/20 09:26 PM |
| 3 | I wish I could be a woman. Especially an attractive, rich woman with a Western upbringingIn this case and with the views you have expressed, I cannot be of any more help to you. Fundamentally, I don't believe that the greater social support offered to women for some things negates a lot of the problems they do face. I wish you the best on your journey. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/20 07:50 PM |
| 17 | Ever wonder why you don't hear men complain about circumcision?On other accounts I've been very open about my unhappiness with circumcision and how if given the chance I would not have had one. I've been met with opposition on all sides. Extreme feminists take me to be saying that circumcision is "worse" than FGM and thus I'm taking away from a womens issue. Men take me to be complaining about something minor and that they don't have an issue with. I find myself giving a lot of caveats when posting about the issue so that these don't occur, which certainly … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/20 05:47 PM |
| 5 | Is there any explanation for why so many women say they want male vulnerability, yet so many feel disgusted at men sharing their feelings?It was actually really interesting. I remember when she said that to me I just sat back, stunned. I hinted at the times I had been there for her and she didn't acknowledge it at all. I legitimately think because she suffers from BPD that she can't see that I was there for her, or thinks I was doing it for other reasons, and that somehow got rolled in with her views on emotional labor. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/20 01:53 PM |
| 8 | I wish I could be a woman. Especially an attractive, rich woman with a Western upbringingDon't get me wrong, I understand where you are coming from, but this strikes me as a very unhealthy view of it all. I've had gender dysphoria in my life where I wish that I had been born a woman. I see tons of things that women do and communities they are a part of and they just feel right to me in a way being male does not. But part of wanting equality also means recognizing that one group has no problems while the other group only suffers. Women have a LOT of issues they deal with, and being a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/20 05:56 AM |
| 41 | Women's toxic expectations and standards for men in dating is fueling misogyny in younger men. And nobody wants to talk about it.I try not to pick a fight about this but there's a lot of women out there that really don't seem to fully grasp what life is like as an average dude. I've had women describe how envious they are towards me and being "invisible". I can definitely agree that having unwanted attention is a horrible thing and getting relentlessly objectified isn't good for one's self-esteem, but it seems to me that there's a lack of empathy and understanding about what being invisible is actually like. Being invisib… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/08/20 11:43 PM |
| 7 | Women complain about casual sexism on reddit but I feel like they can't see that there's also casual misandry here too?The "people like you" is where I start losing track of this. People like what? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/08/20 11:25 PM |
| 23 | Women complain about casual sexism on reddit but I feel like they can't see that there's also casual misandry here too?And this is such a contextual saying where sometimes it's valid. I busted out laughing when one of my friends was talking about her dating experiences and said in exasperation "men are just trash!" She forgot I was working the floor that day and it was over the radio so I definitely heard it. It was a good laugh and I understood her exasperation, dating can be shite. But I've also seen people say that they hate men, that they are proud of hating men, and they wish they were lesbian so they weren… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/08/20 09:10 PM |
| 20 | Women complain about casual sexism on reddit but I feel like they can't see that there's also casual misandry here too?I'm just tired of playing both fields while one side doesn't have to worry about my problems. Like, I'm expected to work on fixing men as well as worrying about helping women fight sexism. I try not to cherry pick who's behavior I call out, it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, but it feels like one side is consistently saying they don't have to care about issues I face but I have to work towards ending issues they do. I just want to be heard and have someone give a fuck that I'm a queer d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/08/20 09:07 PM |
| 16 | Women complain about casual sexism on reddit but I feel like they can't see that there's also casual misandry here too?To be fair, I often see commercials like that as being wish fulfillment for women. Like "hey, wouldn't it be great if you were never in the wrong? By the way, buy our product!" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/08/20 09:03 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter